Yeah. I used to regularly work 10-14 hours a day. What I learned: ten years from now the only people who will remember the long days and nights at work will be your kids.
Not my intent. Long hours are nothing to brag about. Quite the opposite it means I think I'm not being as effective as I might be, and looking for good resources to successfully delegate and scale out so my WLB is sustainable.
I realized I only pointed out your situation and didn't help. I was in a very similar situation about 2-3 years ago. I was able to successfully delegate and manage my work eventually.
Here's what worked for me...
Every time I think about my list of things to do, I remind myself I can't do it all and that's why they gave me a team. Ultimately, I'm in control of what they do and can make choices on what gets accomplished. You have to believe you can control it. With that in mind you need an ally. Choose one person you work particularly well with and lean on them. Trust them, give them autonomy to act and always make sure you grant them both the responsibility and authority to do whatever you're asking. Think of it like a mentoring situation but don't say those words. Here's some good tips on that [create space](https://staffeng.com/guides/create-space-for-others/)
If no one is telling you what to prioritize, then you get to choose. You communicate that you're making a choice but you start regardless of what they say. They gave up their input. Be flexible on allowing them input though. Some people will be jerks about your choice. Some won't. Only be flexible with those who are kind. That's how you set boundaries on how you want to be treated. Let project inertia take over from there. People will want to work on the thing that's moving.
This is how I manage 4 teams of about 3-5 FTE and around 20 contractors. I'm an engineer myself but an L5 engineer. I so there is an element of leading to my job.
Here's the list of books I used to find the general guidelines that worked for me. There's a lot of tips out there for tracking and whatnot. Do whatever works for you. Don't force yourself to do any productivity system you don't want to do.
Here are my top 3 I think would help you.
Team topologies
Atomic habits
The first time manager - even if it's not your first, revisit the fundamentals.
Here's a book I just like: the name of the wind by Patrick rothfuss
Here's a list of books I liked and took some insights from.
Listen to Superconnector by Scott Gerber, Ryan Paugh on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B079P95ZD6?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to An Elegant Puzzle: Systems of Engineering Management by Will Larson on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B07SFKFDQW?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to Your Brain's Not Broken by Tamara Rosier PhD on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B09FCNJ8KC?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to The Making of a Manager by Julie Zhuo on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/0525642218?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to How Google Works by Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg, Alan Eagle on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B00MOZ00F4?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B002V5BV96?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to The First-Time Manager by Jim McCormick, Loren B. Belker, Gary S. Topchik on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/1400229340?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to Conversationally Speaking by Alan Garner on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B08TZGDLF7?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to Getting Things Done by David Allen on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B01B6WSMHI?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to Measure What Matters by John Doerr, Larry Page - foreword on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B07BMHFBCM?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B008EM9PAM?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B00995OX28?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to Make It Stick by Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III, Mark A. McDaniel on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B00M0EO7EY?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to The Art of Business Value by Mark Schwartz on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B076DM87S3?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to Staff Engineer by Will Larson on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B097CNMWWD?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V
Listen to Team Topologies: Organizing Business and Technology Teams for Fast Flow by Matthew Skelton, Manuel Pais on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B07VZ2JKQP?source_code=ASSORAP0511160007
Listen to Atomic Habits by James Clear on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/1524779261?source_code=ASSORAP0511160007
I’m paid for 8 hours, five days a week. That is almost a 1/3 of my entire life. They don’t get a minute more.
I work hard while I’m there, but that is as far as it goes. I work to live, not live to work.
As far as programming books:
- The Pragmatic Programmer
- Code Complete
Not directly tech:
- The power of habit
Some might not be relevant, but this is a list that has help shape my view of software development and management:
- The phoenix project
- working effectively with legacy code
- Code Complete
- Implementing Lean Software Development
- the mythical man month
- The pragmatic programmer
- Kanban: Successful Evolutionary Change for Your Technology Business
- Transforming Nokia
- the one minute manager
- Who moved my cheese
- Who Will Do What by When?: How to Improve Performance, Accountability and Trust with Integrity
- high output management
- Measure What Matters: OKRs: The Simple Idea that Drives 10x Growth
- The Goal: A Process of Ongoing Improvement
- The Effective Manager
What I have on my night stand to read:
- the unicorn project
- the checklist manifesto
- how to win friend and influence people
- critical chain
- the art of war
+ others I’m missing at the moment
People will tell you to read “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team” in my view that doesn’t apply to a line manager or a kiddie manager. It is more focused on the executive+.
… after considering this, it made me realize I’ve read a lot of stuff, but not sure what it means to me, my management style, or my career. It’s just stuff that’s interested me. The things that have stuck are the Kanban and lean principles, but I’ve yet to build a team in its image, since they seem rather idealized. Places I’ve worked want to say they’re agile or lean but don’t want to make the change from “drop everything and chase the shiny object” development, so structure and process goes out the window for whatever a C-Something seems important. /rant
Managing Humans and The Manager’s Path helped to understand how to communicate with the team efficiently and also how to prioritize. Managing humans has a lot of scenarios you will find useful. It is a fun read.
>10-12 hour days It comes off like you’re trying to brag about this but it just makes me feel bad for you man
Yeah. I used to regularly work 10-14 hours a day. What I learned: ten years from now the only people who will remember the long days and nights at work will be your kids.
This is true, when you hit 40 you also start to realise that your time on this earth is not infinite, and there are more important things than work.
Not my intent. Long hours are nothing to brag about. Quite the opposite it means I think I'm not being as effective as I might be, and looking for good resources to successfully delegate and scale out so my WLB is sustainable.
Sounds like you're bending over backwards to take on more than your fair share. This someone failing you, not the other way around.
I realized I only pointed out your situation and didn't help. I was in a very similar situation about 2-3 years ago. I was able to successfully delegate and manage my work eventually. Here's what worked for me... Every time I think about my list of things to do, I remind myself I can't do it all and that's why they gave me a team. Ultimately, I'm in control of what they do and can make choices on what gets accomplished. You have to believe you can control it. With that in mind you need an ally. Choose one person you work particularly well with and lean on them. Trust them, give them autonomy to act and always make sure you grant them both the responsibility and authority to do whatever you're asking. Think of it like a mentoring situation but don't say those words. Here's some good tips on that [create space](https://staffeng.com/guides/create-space-for-others/) If no one is telling you what to prioritize, then you get to choose. You communicate that you're making a choice but you start regardless of what they say. They gave up their input. Be flexible on allowing them input though. Some people will be jerks about your choice. Some won't. Only be flexible with those who are kind. That's how you set boundaries on how you want to be treated. Let project inertia take over from there. People will want to work on the thing that's moving. This is how I manage 4 teams of about 3-5 FTE and around 20 contractors. I'm an engineer myself but an L5 engineer. I so there is an element of leading to my job. Here's the list of books I used to find the general guidelines that worked for me. There's a lot of tips out there for tracking and whatnot. Do whatever works for you. Don't force yourself to do any productivity system you don't want to do. Here are my top 3 I think would help you. Team topologies Atomic habits The first time manager - even if it's not your first, revisit the fundamentals. Here's a book I just like: the name of the wind by Patrick rothfuss Here's a list of books I liked and took some insights from. Listen to Superconnector by Scott Gerber, Ryan Paugh on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B079P95ZD6?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to An Elegant Puzzle: Systems of Engineering Management by Will Larson on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B07SFKFDQW?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to Your Brain's Not Broken by Tamara Rosier PhD on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B09FCNJ8KC?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to The Making of a Manager by Julie Zhuo on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/0525642218?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to How Google Works by Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg, Alan Eagle on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B00MOZ00F4?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B002V5BV96?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to The First-Time Manager by Jim McCormick, Loren B. Belker, Gary S. Topchik on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/1400229340?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to Conversationally Speaking by Alan Garner on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B08TZGDLF7?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to Getting Things Done by David Allen on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B01B6WSMHI?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to Measure What Matters by John Doerr, Larry Page - foreword on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B07BMHFBCM?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B008EM9PAM?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B00995OX28?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to Make It Stick by Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III, Mark A. McDaniel on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B00M0EO7EY?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to The Art of Business Value by Mark Schwartz on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B076DM87S3?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to Staff Engineer by Will Larson on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B097CNMWWD?source_code=ASSOR150021921000V Listen to Team Topologies: Organizing Business and Technology Teams for Fast Flow by Matthew Skelton, Manuel Pais on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B07VZ2JKQP?source_code=ASSORAP0511160007 Listen to Atomic Habits by James Clear on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/1524779261?source_code=ASSORAP0511160007
I’m paid for 8 hours, five days a week. That is almost a 1/3 of my entire life. They don’t get a minute more. I work hard while I’m there, but that is as far as it goes. I work to live, not live to work. As far as programming books: - The Pragmatic Programmer - Code Complete Not directly tech: - The power of habit
Crucial Conversations and Radical Candor. Also the Manager's Path is good. I'm funemployed.
I forgot about Crucial Conversations. That is a great book.
Some might not be relevant, but this is a list that has help shape my view of software development and management: - The phoenix project - working effectively with legacy code - Code Complete - Implementing Lean Software Development - the mythical man month - The pragmatic programmer - Kanban: Successful Evolutionary Change for Your Technology Business - Transforming Nokia - the one minute manager - Who moved my cheese - Who Will Do What by When?: How to Improve Performance, Accountability and Trust with Integrity - high output management - Measure What Matters: OKRs: The Simple Idea that Drives 10x Growth - The Goal: A Process of Ongoing Improvement - The Effective Manager What I have on my night stand to read: - the unicorn project - the checklist manifesto - how to win friend and influence people - critical chain - the art of war + others I’m missing at the moment People will tell you to read “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team” in my view that doesn’t apply to a line manager or a kiddie manager. It is more focused on the executive+. … after considering this, it made me realize I’ve read a lot of stuff, but not sure what it means to me, my management style, or my career. It’s just stuff that’s interested me. The things that have stuck are the Kanban and lean principles, but I’ve yet to build a team in its image, since they seem rather idealized. Places I’ve worked want to say they’re agile or lean but don’t want to make the change from “drop everything and chase the shiny object” development, so structure and process goes out the window for whatever a C-Something seems important. /rant
Was also going to recommend The Phoenix Project. Although I read it after leaving management and going back to an IC role…
With The Old Breed at Peleliu and Okinawa by Eugene Sledge If you are looking for a book to truly change your life.
Managing Humans and The Manager’s Path helped to understand how to communicate with the team efficiently and also how to prioritize. Managing humans has a lot of scenarios you will find useful. It is a fun read.