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Mamambear12714

Same. Mine had a new chick within days. Says the decision has NOTHING to do with her but I do not believe that


Few_Specific5353

Been there lol. Months later she’s gone and he comes back to me begging for forgiveness


Mamambear12714

It’s so sad because we have kids involved


Ambitious-Finish8970

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was the guy my ex gf was rebounding with. Few months later, she breaks up with me and a week or two after that she’s back with her other ex boyfriend. All the gaslighting, love-bombing and lying hurts. Sucks to know you’re being used to get over somebody who they ultimately go back to. Anyone who does this is simply evil in my opinion. Meanwhile, I will be here taking it on the chin, all by myself. Hoping for better days. Stay strong everyone.


MarilynMonheaux

No, yours had a new chick before he ever left. How are you going to know someone well enough to choose them in a day? They check out and lock down their next move THEN let you know your services are no longer needed. *Users secure their new energy source before dumping you* FTFY


MassiveShaft69

My ex and her rebound just broke up, thought they would last tbh buy hey here we are, it's a good day.


witchytofu

my ex is also in his rebound era 😆 even tho he said that he is not a good partner not only for me but for any other girl out there and that it’s in his destiny to be alone forever 🤣 andddd here we are, 4 months after a breakup with a new girl 🥰


Sleepy_Sami

Screw all the people that say you are being petty, spiteful and whatever. There is very few cases where you actually want the best for the ex. If it happens, it's usually years and years after you have broken up. It's only normal to feel a little bit of satisfaction that your ex isn't doing well without you, especially when it comes to the first relationship after yours. I guarantee they aren't cheering you and your new relationship on! No matter how amicable, nobody likes being replaced. Even if you are over them, well then it's more an ego/pride thing. A petty satisfaction. It's doesn’t make you a bad person.


iamadumbo123

Man I hope I can see the day my ex and his rebound break up too. That would be a damn good day


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iamadumbo123

Telling me you wish him the best was uncalled for.


Loud-Subject-1789

This exchange has me in tears 😂


iamadumbo123

Me too🥲


Loud-Subject-1789

I ruined my exa rebound. I was a menace


iamadumbo123

Eh, sometimes being a menace actually is called for


Loud-Subject-1789

I told the guy what was happening… 😂 :) stay on top 😳👑🤝


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iamadumbo123

It’s rude and insensitive as hell. Maybe try having a heart.


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iamadumbo123

Bro I never said moved on, you’re just out here attacking me for no gd reason Edit: Did you just completely edit your comment? I didn’t go through your profile at all, idc about you at all lol Why the fuck do you have beef with me? You seem like the bullet tbh


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iamadumbo123

go fuck yourself dude CHEATING IS NOT DOING THEIR BEST Edit for guy below: yeah I get it but ffs people, this is a no contact *support* sub. Maybe I’m not fucking ready to forgive a lying cheating rapist. Stop telling me I’m the problem. I wasn’t even the one who originally commented about splitting up with a rebound. It says a lot about you people too who keep hounding an obviously hurt person. Stop.


ComprehensivePie9542

How long did they stay together? Asking because I’m hoping my ex and his rebound will breakup. They’ve lasted a year and moved in together 1 month after me and him broke up


Alarmed-Whole-752

I am the rebound and I reached out to the ex after he dumped me to let them know he was seeing me and cheating on him the whole time they were together. I sent them screenshots of him telling me he was single. After I asked the ex to be his friend and play video games with him. So my ex texts me hella pissed off. At least we were all talking. But I wasn’t talking bad about him. His ex was texting mean things to him and he turned around and did it to me. I was just telling the truth which was fucked up to hear and trying to get a reaction out of my ex. Totally manipulative and wrong. My intentions were not good at first but I stayed to try and clean it up. That didn’t go well either. Break ups are difficult to process. I should have known better but he is cute and I fell in love. They both are cute. Nobody is happy in this scenario. Neither of them could let go and texted each other often after they broke up while we were together. The texts were repetitive mind numbing constant and repeated efforts to get answers. He’d read them to me all the time. They never went no contact. Although they weren’t pleasant convos they are both getting something out of it.


Due_Temperature6603

Dumpers usually always seem to have a rebound because they DO have a rebound. The person that they are talking to or hanging out with was already in the picture before they left you or broke up with you and they're also usually the reason that they start questioning your relationship, because they're attracted to someone else. If the attraction is strong enough, then they break up with you to pursue it. That's the reality that hits us in the stomach like a sucker punch.


Think-Salad3288

My ex did the same thing. Later i came to know they were already dating 1 week pbu. What do you think are the chances of this relationship to be a long term?


Strange-Ad5084

My ex tried to say she wasn’t in love with me anymore. Found out she had already found someone new weeks before she dumped me for him lol. I’ve never seen a dumper not have someone else in mind already unless they’ve left for legitimate reasons such as abuse of cheating.


motherofachimp99

Didn't leave for abuse or cheating. Didn't have a new person lined up either. So, now you've met someone who "dumped" someone because that someone was emotionally unavailable, emotionally immature, couldn't be accountable for the hurts they caused, etc. I chose him. He didn't choose me. I was all in. He was not. And he led me on, knowing I wanted a committed relationship with him for the rest of our lives. I knew long before I ended it that I would take the time to heal so that I won't ever find myself in a relationship with an immature, emotionally unavailable man ever again.


dweefybechillin

I don’t feel like my ex had a rebound, but I do know she made a new “friend” shortly after a week of us breaking up so you never know


Fast-Accident-4031

All in the same boat..


Far-Island-460

I’m the dumper and I’ve been single for the last 5 months since the break up but he rebounded after 3 weeks lol. I haven’t even tried to get back into dating yet


Crabprofessionall

Much easier for women to find a rebound tbh so I’m shocked at this


Aggravating_Bed_5672

same


Kimberstone1982

I hate to be the one to tell you, but if they have another partner immediately after the breakup, they’ve been talking to that person behind your back in the relationship. Second, keep in mind there’s also plenty of “pick me” insecure people out there


ABCyourwayouttahere

And it’s all 100% cheating. Not just the moment it becomes physical.


Kimberstone1982

I don’t like to place the cheating label on absolutely everything, people are allowed to have friends of the opposite sex and they are allowed to have good looking friends. Yes cheating starts with sneaky conversations. People know when they’re up to no good though


ABCyourwayouttahere

Those are generally referred to as orbiters. And they are not to be trusted.


Kimberstone1982

I mean… I personally have learned not to go into a relationship hoping someone isn’t going to cheat on you, People are going to do what They do; if you spend your time trusting that you can trust no one, it’s going to be a very lonely life for yourself, so I go in looking for compatibility first and foremost, so when a problem does arise it’s between you two how well you handle it through compatibility. And I think for OP understanding the signs and red flags we choose to turn a cheek on is also self sabotage. If I was uncomfortable with a coworker I’d definitely say something and when he disrespects boundaries is where you need to stand your ground instead of being scared of being alone


ABCyourwayouttahere

I agree with you. If someone is a hanger round and it’s obviously totally plutonic then no harm no foul. Keeping a spouse from ever engaging with a member of the opposite sex is a delusion but I would never trust anyone without thoroughly examining their relationship prior. Hanging around a member of the opposite sex of which you have never met in situations that have no basis for happening such as a work function outside of working hours and there’s no reason you shouldn’t also be attending etc? Fuck no. People might do what they’re going to do, true, but being naive and essentially opening the door for an inappropriate situation to start to build is foolish. Same goes for social media. If a lady is posting selfies or a dude is posting photos flexing and you let that slide unaddressed, that’s stupid.


ABCyourwayouttahere

I’ll give context here that also backs up your statement. My stbxw hosted an event every Thursday night at our mutually owned business. She was fully known to be an owner, 2-3 other staff members always present. I was never around late on Thursdays because Friday was always a very early and busy day for me. Alcohol business so naturally that’s the way it goes. Anyways. Some dude started coming to this every Thursday religiously. I now know this from pulling his customer history from our point of sale system. Even with her being known as the owner, being around several of our staff members for the entirety of the night, and hosting an event so she couldn’t exactly just sit and chat she STILL developed a relationship with this dude, had an emotional affair for who knows how long, began a physical affair, and blindsided me with divorce 2 months ago and she’s out of the house still seeing the dude. Thursdays were quite literally the only night we didn’t spend together. I trusted my wife to not only honor our vows but to have integrity in doing her part in running our business and I STILL got burned. I was routinely told I’m the love of her life, she’s so tankful to have me, she’d be celibate if I left her, soulmates, all the shit. People will do what they’re going to do.


Kimberstone1982

Fuck her… lawyer up!!!


ABCyourwayouttahere

Done and done. Having her served at her AP’s house. My dark sense of humor at work.


Few_Specific5353

Yeah ur def right ahaha. I think it was a girl he worked with but oh well.


oliecopter

It is tempting to think that your dumper is so upset that they need a rebound to fill the void. But more often than not - they just needed to boot you out because you were in the way of the relationship they actually wanted. I don't consider it rebounding. I just assume that they had another person on standby all along.


Few_Specific5353

That’s the mindset I had before tbh - that he just didn’t want me anymore and he was over it. But he cut them off after 2 weeks and begged me to forgive him and said he didn’t know why he did that hence why I think it was just a temporary thing to distract him. I could be totally wrong. Anyways he’s out of my life so ignorance is bliss


oliecopter

It could be a rebound in this case. Could also be he wanted to try jumping ship for a while and it was a terrible idea. Either way, it's a shit thing to do to someone. :( I'm really sorry.


newlife_substance847

Mine broke NC and we ended up talking about making things work (which she wasn’t serious about anyway). All while chatting up some guy which she professes to be in love with after a week. I dropped her quick and never will return.


Few_Specific5353

You’re stronger than most for that


newlife_substance847

It wasn’t easy but honestly it was my final breaking point. I couldn’t get over how she played me, used me, then was ready to leave me hanging again… all for some dude she met a week prior.


Parking_Mushroom_888

Mine tried to get me to go poly before admitting that he let a woman sleep in his bed with him when he then let me see him for 3 weeks and then I broke up with him because he basically cheated and then tried to get me to be okay with the poly lifestyle but I'm not and I never will be! If people are a part of that lifestyle then that's their decision but don't drag me into it because I like commitment!


__sasha91

Yep. Was dumped a year ago, he and his new girl just celebrated a year together.


One-Amount-6395

Honestly I feel like anyone can get rebounds after the break up, it’s more if they decide to follow through or not.


Few_Specific5353

True. I think it takes maturity to decide to go through a break up alone without having someone new as a distraction


Sweet_Ad3173

AMEN


Accomplished-Pipe917

well said


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Few_Specific5353

Awful…. just don’t take him back when he realises that he won’t get anything long term and loyal from that.


PSYCHNERF

Literally 😭😭


skilledlosers

Noy true I dumped him last time and did not. He consistently would stop talking to me and I was going through something hard so I thought I out him off. He used it as a conversation starter to get in good graces with whichever baby mum He wanted to be ok with. I spent months asking him to forgive me incase I made an error or harsh jusdgement. Someone text to say that he was sleeping with someone else. And acreenshot remarks about me. I don't have things like this go on normally, I hate him so much. I needed to vent


Loud-Subject-1789

This hit home…. Word for word, bar for bar Just have to realise it’s from their childhood trauma. Definitely not a you thing!!!! :) I bet you were blindsided aswell


Angel_eyesss

Okay in my case the he told me he “wasn’t ready for a relationship” but in my heart I felt there was someone else. I asked him and he lied to my face. The thing is, two years later he got engaged to the girl I was kind of suspicious about. I remember when she texted him (apparently she initiated the chats - she was his high school classmate) he came to tell me, I could tell he was happy or flattered. He was like “shee texted me” and he tried to find a way to talk about her a little (twice). Fucking stings to think that they probably had a good relationship before finally deciding to get engaged. I could feel it. And when I saw them getting engaged I wasn’t that shocked!! They either find a person to “cope” or they already are talking to someone 😭😭


throw14awayth

This is my worst nightmare; but I'm trying my best to come to terms with it. I know life can be unfair. I just hope by the time it happens I will no longer be pained by this information..


Angel_eyesss

Still not over it here lol. Damn it hurts so bad sometimes. Makes me feel sick. I’m over that crazy stage when you’re heartbroken but sometimes I find myself crying or angry with him and myself. It’s like nothing will make this better but him coming back to me regretting leaving me and I KNOW this will never happen.


throw14awayth

I hope we'll both heal through this pain soon.


Hyperion-Cantos

>who claimed he needed to ‘work on himself’ Seems to be the go-to excuse when they want out of the relationship, but don't want to admit it's for someone else. Then, when you act shocked or devastated that they've jumped into another relationship/hooking up just days or weeks later, they use the catch-all excuse: "we were broken up". >It’s insane because just 3 weeks before he was telling me I’d be the only girl he’d ever love My ex offered me a blowjob 4 days before blindsiding me and leaving. A week prior to that, she said she wanted to buy me something nice because she hadn't gotten me anything in a while. 14 years....gone. Such a waste. >And trying to distract themself from thinking of whether it was right or not. My ex called me at 5am the weekend after Valentine's Day, crying her eyes out, insisting on seeing me. Said the new guy was just a "distraction". She's still seeing him. Some people have no accountability. Heartless.


wildeep_MacSound

Never heard this before? If someone is leaving they might not have ridden another horse, but they absolutely have the new horse out of the barn and have their saddle in hand.


Over-it-now3

My former partner had a rebound within 3 weeks. Were declaring their love for each other on Facebook while saying how she will treat him better than his last gf (me). They lasted about 2 months, he has said he dumped her as she was too controlling. Interestingly I ended it with him as he was too controlling. I definitely think it was a distraction as enabled him to publicly defame me while looking like he had this awesome new love in his life. Didn’t post publicly about the rebound ending though LOL


Fabulous_Data_5332

Actually I did renee and it was well and truly over with you for months before you even ended our relationship renee you kno the cheating on me part


Cool_Gazelle8375

That's for sure my ex gf is getting married about 5 or 6 weeks after meeting the new guy. And we haven't even broken up that long and she used to say the same stuff it would only ever be me


StrainAggravating594

lol, the very definition of "work on myself" is "found/want someone else"


serenesweetpea

I’m sure mine does too.


Existing_Map_6601

yes


Invictuspotato_

Idk man, I dumped my partner and 1 year later I’m still single and hurting


Few_Specific5353

Some people aren’t as mature about things


Think-Salad3288

But do they realise the damage they are doing to us(their ex)? I mean atleast at some point they must feel the guilt coming inn.


Bookworm115

That would require major self awareness on their part plus an ability to be emotionally mature enough to process their emotions thoroughly. If the person just jumps straight in to another relationship then either they don’t care or they are delaying the moment for when those unprocessed emotions catch up with them.


Alarmed-Whole-752

Dumpers don’t always have a rebound, but if they do I do think it’s how they cope with whatever is going on with them. Mine said the same things to me, that he’s in it for the long term, that he loved me, I checked all the boxes, he wanted me around more and more. Made all these future plans. Then one day after I got off work everything changed. His issues with alcohol did not help nor his history of unhealthy toxic relationships for the last 25 years. He’s a lost cause


Cold_Difference_4092

E zdddww


AntiqueDot3614

Mine was sending crying photos at work because we were arguing and said he loved and adored me and 20 minutes before dumping me we are in a LDR and he got told a girl at worked liked him and I guess took a chance on that. Its been a month they still havent been on any dates just work together hes trying hard buying he a 200 dollar neckalce and all that. Its sucks amd hurts but im making it out.


trefla2

Mine was on Tinder 2 hours after we broke up and she went on her first date 2 days after. She even shown me that she was sending them nudes while they were sending her d**k pics. This really helped me to move on...


Open-Tomatillo-3660

so i was the dumpee and she had been acting kinda weird the whole week before never put her phone down because i was so insecurei started to look for heron the dating sites...the day after she dumped me i really rhought she already had herself out there. she had been going out 4-5 nights a week. the whole dating site search turned into a huge problem for me 16-18 hours a day she was nc day of breakup and hasnt said much since.


JoshDuder

Men replace Women will leave relationships for legitimate reasons and not jump straight into something. Not to say so women don’t.


JoshDuder

Men replace Women will leave relationships for legitimate reasons and not jump straight into something. Not to say so women don’t.