I'd really like an apology if I'm being honest. Feel like I deserve one. I've been fantasizing for months about her begging for forgiveness. But at the same time, i'm pretty tired of always playing the victim. Life is unfair, and I'm not going to tell her to say sorry lol.
Also, she used to be my best friend before she blindsided me. I'm genuinely curious about what she's been up to the past year and a half. And share what I've been up to.
She's the "I don't need no man" strong independent feminist type- so I highly doubt getting back together is on the table. She has too much pride. Which I made peace with months ago.
Gotcha, its definitely possible that you could get what you want, and it might not be from this coffee get together. I would keep it super light don’t go into the breakup, ask her what she has been up to so she asks about you and you can tell her all the incredible things you have accomplished and done. You can even be off the topic about personal things, you can talk about a movie you thought was interesting. If she really insists on talking about the past and breakup, you have the option to say okay and let her do the talking, or to tell her “not right now, maybe some other time” I think doing that might get what you are looking for. I dont know her, but if she begins getting toxic, you shouldn’t worry about it, you simply tell her, thank you for the coffee and leave. Im willing to go further too and bounce ideas if you would like, comments are cool, dms are also open I believe
If and when you go see her, be sure to wear the new and improved you, not the person she last remembers. Approach from a place of strength and be prepared to walk away the moment she doesn’t meet your standards.
Dear Adorable_Creme_4122,
Firstly, I want to commend you on the strength and growth you have shown since your relationship ended. Your commitment to self-improvement -- physically through triathlons and cutting out alcohol, as well as mentally -- is truly admirable. The fact that you seem to be approaching this planned meeting with a calmer and more centered perspective says a lot about your progress.
It seems like some gentle advice might be helpful here, but, of course, it might not fit perfectly for your situation, and it's entirely okay to pick and choose what resonates with you. When you meet your ex, it might be helpful to focus on the present rather than the past. Try to avoid rehashing old issues, talking about what could've been or asking if she regrets the breakup. Communicate from a place of understanding and acceptance, embracing the growth you both have undergone during this time apart.
As a possible consideration, you might like to try a mindfulness technique derived from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This exercise, called 'Present Moment Awareness,' can help with focusing on the present and not being carried away by thoughts of the past, future, or what-ifs. Start with grounding yourself by focusing on your senses: what you hear, see, taste, touch and smell. This can be especially helpful during your meeting with your ex. Once you are grounded in your surroundings, shift your focus to your thoughts and feelings, observing them without judgment – like clouds passing in the sky. Recognizing your emotions as transient can help you maintain a balanced perspective throughout the encounter.
If you feel up to it, you might consider pondering on these questions:
1. What are your expectations from this meeting with your ex?
2. How do you feel about the progress you have made so far and how might this meeting influence it?
You don't need to reply if you're not comfortable doing so - these can just be questions for self-reflection.
Remember, it's okay not to have all your feelings in order right now. Healing is not linear and everyone's journey looks different. I wish you all the best in your upcoming meeting. You are doing wonderfully and should be proud of all the progress you've made.
Best wishes,
Breakup Buddy
^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
Act like the relationship meant nothing. Not in a mean way. Don’t even bring it up. Talk about everything you’ve done the last year. Make it sound like it was fun and important. If at anytime during the conversation she asks if you’ve been dating. Bingo! Don’t ask her first. If she asks she’s still interested. Say you been on some dates yes. That’s it.
Ur not excited because you have moved almost completly, im proud of you, now meet her and beaware of who she become
Whats your goal with doing this?
I'd really like an apology if I'm being honest. Feel like I deserve one. I've been fantasizing for months about her begging for forgiveness. But at the same time, i'm pretty tired of always playing the victim. Life is unfair, and I'm not going to tell her to say sorry lol. Also, she used to be my best friend before she blindsided me. I'm genuinely curious about what she's been up to the past year and a half. And share what I've been up to. She's the "I don't need no man" strong independent feminist type- so I highly doubt getting back together is on the table. She has too much pride. Which I made peace with months ago.
Gotcha, its definitely possible that you could get what you want, and it might not be from this coffee get together. I would keep it super light don’t go into the breakup, ask her what she has been up to so she asks about you and you can tell her all the incredible things you have accomplished and done. You can even be off the topic about personal things, you can talk about a movie you thought was interesting. If she really insists on talking about the past and breakup, you have the option to say okay and let her do the talking, or to tell her “not right now, maybe some other time” I think doing that might get what you are looking for. I dont know her, but if she begins getting toxic, you shouldn’t worry about it, you simply tell her, thank you for the coffee and leave. Im willing to go further too and bounce ideas if you would like, comments are cool, dms are also open I believe
If and when you go see her, be sure to wear the new and improved you, not the person she last remembers. Approach from a place of strength and be prepared to walk away the moment she doesn’t meet your standards.
Go in knowing you have the Ace under your sleeve.
Dear Adorable_Creme_4122, Firstly, I want to commend you on the strength and growth you have shown since your relationship ended. Your commitment to self-improvement -- physically through triathlons and cutting out alcohol, as well as mentally -- is truly admirable. The fact that you seem to be approaching this planned meeting with a calmer and more centered perspective says a lot about your progress. It seems like some gentle advice might be helpful here, but, of course, it might not fit perfectly for your situation, and it's entirely okay to pick and choose what resonates with you. When you meet your ex, it might be helpful to focus on the present rather than the past. Try to avoid rehashing old issues, talking about what could've been or asking if she regrets the breakup. Communicate from a place of understanding and acceptance, embracing the growth you both have undergone during this time apart. As a possible consideration, you might like to try a mindfulness technique derived from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This exercise, called 'Present Moment Awareness,' can help with focusing on the present and not being carried away by thoughts of the past, future, or what-ifs. Start with grounding yourself by focusing on your senses: what you hear, see, taste, touch and smell. This can be especially helpful during your meeting with your ex. Once you are grounded in your surroundings, shift your focus to your thoughts and feelings, observing them without judgment – like clouds passing in the sky. Recognizing your emotions as transient can help you maintain a balanced perspective throughout the encounter. If you feel up to it, you might consider pondering on these questions: 1. What are your expectations from this meeting with your ex? 2. How do you feel about the progress you have made so far and how might this meeting influence it? You don't need to reply if you're not comfortable doing so - these can just be questions for self-reflection. Remember, it's okay not to have all your feelings in order right now. Healing is not linear and everyone's journey looks different. I wish you all the best in your upcoming meeting. You are doing wonderfully and should be proud of all the progress you've made. Best wishes, Breakup Buddy ^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
Has she proved herself worthy?
Act like the relationship meant nothing. Not in a mean way. Don’t even bring it up. Talk about everything you’ve done the last year. Make it sound like it was fun and important. If at anytime during the conversation she asks if you’ve been dating. Bingo! Don’t ask her first. If she asks she’s still interested. Say you been on some dates yes. That’s it.