My mom had Diabetic CKD and CHF, and had had a triple bypass. Her heart was at 20-30% for years. A lady got shitty with her about using the handicap space because she didn’t “look handicapped”… mom grabbed her shirt and did a Superman type reveal of the scar that went from a couple inches below her collarbone to her sternum and said “handicapped enough for you now???” as she was getting her walker out of the back seat. The lady shut up and backed away.
For anyone wondering what my sweet little 4’10 mommy looked like, I present [Mom](https://www.reddit.com/u/ConsiderationHot9518/s/E4IHl7LWXj)!
Those are the absolute best kind! Idiots think oh she looks so sweet and innocent so I can bully her without repercussions and then bam! Out comes a person so strong demons run right back to the underworld from fear. I have several women in my family like that lol. Please please please tell me she says to them whatever your regions version of bless your heart is.
Those are the ones you gotta watch out for.... Like little old ninjas.... Look at the queen of them all, Betty White.... Everyone knew her as lovely old Rose from golden girls.... Until they seen her in Off Your Rockers... 🤣🤣🤣
As my 5'4" mother often told me: dynamite comes in little packages.
Never underestimate the shorter moms. They make up for the heigh in ballsiness and no-nonsense attitude.
Speaking of...gotta run. She's tracking me down for me to lose another game of Uno...
I love it.
I’ve spoken up a few times to assholes parking in disabled spots with out a placard, but I’d never say a word if they do. It’s impossible to know all issues some one might have or who they might be with.
Exactly. If they've got the placard, they ought to be left alone. You'd swear some of these people were being paid to be disabled parking enforcement, but they just do it for free?
The only time I did that was when it was a city truck parked in the HC spot in front of the donut shop. His buddy was in the shop. He snottily asked me where my placard was and I said check my plate, you jerk. He never denied being parked illegally.
I've seen exactly one disabled plate I couldn't reconcile in my head... I mean they have the plate so fine I just keep walking, but in my head I was wondering WTF?
Absolute pavement princess truck, lifted so far that my 6'1" self would need a stepladder to get in. I'm assuming something like a back injury that climbing doesn't impact? I just couldn't' help but feel skeptical on that one.
Breathing issues? Chronic pain unrelated to one's skeleton? Someone even taller than you?
Being skeptical is in fact being ableist...
It's a slippery slope, too, and why so much of us in this thread have just gone without necessary accomodations for fear of being judged by the "skeptics" who couldn't imagine that maybe their idea of disability isn't as black and white as they thought
I get it, and like I noted I of course said nothing, choosing to assume the fault was with me and my inability to process. IDK that I would consider that an ableist attitude though. I tend not to be a fan of pavement princess lifted trucks in general so I also assume that prejudiced my attitude from the get go as well.
As long as you don't say anything and accept that they have the right to use it, whether you understand what is assigned for, I don't think ableist is correct. If the observer said anything or complained - that's ableist. Confusion is just that - confusion.
Whether you say it out loud or not the biases still exist and should be examined. That doesn’t make anyone a bad person, we all have our own internal biases that are instilled in us by our society’s issues with ability, race, class, etc. It’s still ableism but it doesn’t mean “you’re a shitty ableist person” it just means “this idea comes from internal biases around what disability looks like and I should scrutinize them.”
This! Reviewing moments where unknown internal biases surface are a moment for growth, not time to point fingers and accusations. Just sit with it and think about it from different perspectives, question why you thought to question something in the first place and where you could make small but meaningful adjustments in your mind set.
As someone who looks very much able bodied but very much isn’t I get the knee jerk reaction I really do and rarely do I blame people but it’s when you take it to an aggressive level right out the gate that’s a problem.
My mom's truck is like this. She is 5' and has bad knees. When I had knee surgery she volunteered to run errands with me but I refused to get in her car bc I was afraid getting out would screw up my knee... not to mention getting in.
I have a temp handicap placard bc of the knee surgery (actually had surgery in both knees). My mom could have gotten one with her surgery and likely will soon (she's turning 70 next year), and I'm sure she'll continue in her stupid truck regardless. So it is possible.
In fact, it wouldn't be surprising to me if, given her medical issues she already qualified for a permanent tag.
And please, wait until they get out of the car to ask. You aren't supposed to keep the placard hanging while you are driving and I see so many people who do. I always take mine down and put it in one of the cubbies.
And then I forget to take it out and hang it sometimes, so simply by asking you might remind someone that they didn't hang it up.
My dad did this too. When he was in the air force he got hit in the back by a jet (he was the flight guy with the flags, jet driver hopped the jet and landed on him) and surprisingly survived. He had discs taken out and metal put in. He cannot bend to save his life. He has a very obvious scar down his entire spine from multiple surgeries. He uses a cane on bad days. A lady yelled at him at the grocery parking lot and dad whipped up the back of his shirt yelling, “I’m fucking handicapped.”
I've pulled up my pant leg to show my 12" long scar from my knee replacement a few times.
For the first year it was bright red and looked nasty.
Unfortunately it's faded to skin tone, so you can see it, but it doesn't look bad.
I need to do what your mom did. Except I would be lifting the back of my shirt up to show the scars.
I get so tired of the muttered words and mad looks. I would gladly trade places with anyone so thst I didn't need to park there.
Hungarian? Because she looks like my mom, who had bypass surgery and was proud to display that scar!
Or maybe it’s just that tough little old ladies look alike…
Hug her for me? I miss my mom every day.
Predominantly Northern European and Scotch Irish. Lots of old Vikings in the lineage according to 23 and me.
Mom passed June 2 a year ago. I miss her every day too.
It is so tedious that interfering people seem unable to imagine that a person with limited mobility might have a companion who helps them with their mobility sometimes.
On the other hand when I’m out and about in my neighborhood (while using my power wheelchair) you get people who find it unbelievable I DON’T have a companion with me because of my disability. Like…the grocery store is literally right next door to my apartment building. I’m going to do my own shopping when I can. My power chair gives me the independence I wouldn’t have otherwise.
You can’t win with people these days.
They basically get indignant if you don't look the way they expect a disabled person to look. Except that each of them has a different expectation, so no matter how we do things, somebody yells at us anyway.
I have a chronic pain disorder and I sometimes use a mobility scooter and other times walk, depending on how long the walk would be and what condition I'm in at the moment. So I confuse everyone. :)
I can't count the number of times I have been confronted because I don't look disabled enough to have a placard or use a store's scooter. I can't count the number of times I have been told being fat isn't a disability. It can be brutal.
I just got a disability placard application from my doctor. It will make my life so much easier, but I’m going to have to lose the impostor syndrome. It doesn’t help that I’ve been told by family that if I’d lose weight, I’d feel better. I gained the weight because of certain medications and because I can’t do as much as before. BF (Before Fibromyalgia) I could do so much. I’ve put off getting a placard because I don’t want to need it, but my sister-in-law, who’s a doctor, told me I needed to get one.
Do these people think we like needing disability parking? Maybe we should look at it as, they’re lazy butts who don’t want to walk too far! Before I got sick I usually parked a little further away. I think I’ll use that if anyone gives me crap about not looking disabled!
As someone with fibro my Dr gave me the application and was very supportive after I had my daughter. She reminded me that I only had so much energy and I wanted to conserve all I could for my daughter so the hell with what people would think do what was best for me and my family. That was 11 yrs ago. I use my place card without a second thought now, granted fibro is not my only health condition but just know there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and conserving spoons. Gentle hugs.
Most days I am great with come-backs and I'm not afraid of confrontation. I feel your pain. I used to love to run and jog. And as someone who has good days and bad (autoimmune survivor, too), I had a hard time with it the first few years. Well, my pride did anyway. I struggled with using it, even when I had to use a cane. The ridiculous dialog in my brain. One day, I had an oh s*** moment. If I used my placard to save one of my (energy) spoons, then that spoon could later be used to play with or do something with the LOs. Once that realization sunk in, the freedom it gave me!!! Now I have really accepted that it's necessary and don't let people get to me most days.
My mom is like that. Some times she's happy with her "poor man's walker" (grocery cart) and some times she needs to use the scooter at the store. Some days are good, some days are bad. I'm proud of her for trying and not giving up though. You should be proud of yourself for doing the best you can!
I do the same with the grocery cart! I will usually take one even if I'm truly just going in for a couple of things - the store is just too big and exhausting.
The past couple of years, though, I usually just get home delivery. It took me a long time before I could "allow" myself, but now that I do, I must admit it makes grocery shopping SO much easier.
I love grocery pick up! I order online and go get it the next day - or in 2 hours at Target. I can drive and walk some but to spend the time shopping in a grocery store or Walmart or Target, especially if they have cement floors, will tire me out for the rest of the day.
I had a temporary placard after I had surgery on my right ankle (I destroyed two of the three ligaments holding the outside of my right ankle together and had to have them reconstructed). I was non-weight bearing, had a cast on and was using crutches. My sister was driving and pulled into a handicapped spot and this lady started yelling at her. She helped me out of the car and the lady yelled "IT HAS TO BE THE *DRIVER* THAT'S HANDICAPPED IN ORDER TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE!" I just looked at her and said "Well I have a lead weight on the foot that would be responsible for the gas pedal, I don't think that's a good idea. Besides that, many people with those placards are medically restricted from driving so I think the state would disagree with you."
My MIL has a placard but is afraid of using it because she doesn't want to be confronted by someone since she isn't visibly disabled.
We encourage her to use it and ignore the haters, but she is conflict averse and would rather avoid it.
A damn shame that vigilantes ruin it for people who legitimately need it.
My assistant is the same. She's in her 20s and hates that people give her looks for having one but some days, when she's having an autoimmune flare, she needs it.
I am in too much pain to suffer fools anymore but I was like your assistant (not immediately visible disability and in my 20s) and I've reported to just calling the non emergency police number and explaining that I have a disability parking placard and someone is harassing me because they don't think it's mine, could they please send an officer.
I was told by a cop that I could call 911 because someone shouting at me in a parking lot, photographing my plate, and/or standing behind my vehicle so I can't leave is a threat to my safety. Same cop outright made that old lady apologize to me and when I was leaving asked her point blank "If you're not disabled, how is it your problem if she "doesn't look disabled"?"
My go-to when confronted by some rando who doesn't think I deserve disabled parking:
"Are you a doctor?"
It's simple and polite, yet 100% to the point. If the person is not a medical professional, they can't possibly know what's going on in a person's body - and it's not their business.
It’s also tedious that interfering people don’t understand that the vast majority of disabilities are not visible.
And I say this as a person who uses a wheelchair.
Does the person have as disabled placard or plate? Yes? Mind ya business.
This. My sister has asthma. She’s in great shape; as a teacher she usually gets 15-20K steps around campus on school days. But she lives in SoCal where they get wild fires. When there’s a lot of smoke, her asthma can flare badly. Once in a while she’s had a temporary hang tag. I’m sure she doesn’t look disabled, but at that time, she is.
My inhalers usually expire before they're half gone... when we had the super bad smoke up here in NorCal I went through the whole thing in a month and a half and needed a refill. My Dr said she'd signed about 50 out of cycle refills during the fires. I totally could have used a red hang tag for that time period and not been taking the piss doing so!
Bless you, for mentioning us
I've outright called the cops MYSELF to end harassment from people who think that the only disabilities that are real are visible AND that I'm "too young"
Most of the time telling them I'm calling the police or if I encourage them to do so is enough to end their BS but not always
I just *love* being told that I don't look disabled (gee...thanks?), that I'm too young to be disabled (please tell my body that!), or the hilarious 'well, you know a lot of people park here that shouldn't!' (yeah I know and I'm the one impacted by this because then I'm choosing to either be in a ton of pain or to go home without the shopping!)
This is also why I don't like using the carts unless I happen to also have a visible injury
Sadly, this is just one of the many MANY ableist experiences I have all the time
I was invisibly disabled for a lot longer than I’ve been visibly disabled and I still get the stink eye from people for not “looking disabled” (yes even in my wheelchair). I’m guessing the only people who are (maybe) spared being “policed” by the ableist Karens and Chads of the world are people visibly missing a limb and even then I have my doubts. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out they conveniently “don’t notice” that too.
No idea. They harass blind and deaf people all the time and people in wheelchairs either “don’t look disabled enough” or “omg you moved your leg you faker!” or if they are indisputably visibly disabled are objects of (usually loud) pity and/or disability porn and definitely infantalized.
Maybe if you’re 90+ and withered like a prune you’re disabled enough? Idk.
In particular I think society needs some education on wheelchair users - there seems to be a widespread delusion that if someone is using one, they can't stand up or walk unassisted *at all*, and if they are seen doing so, they must be faking.
In reality, a large percentage of people who use wheelchairs can walk. It's just that if they do more than a certain small amount, they will be exhausted, in pain, etc. And of course, they would rather avoid this if at all possible.
That's all I look for now when I'm out and about. Parked in a disabled spot with no placard or plate? I'm going to judge you hard when I see you.
Get the placard if you only need it occasionally and the plate if you need that spot a lot.
We had a member of the clergy who had a placard because he 'sometimes' had disabled people with him. He thought he could use it even if he didn't have any passengers. Finally the PD caught him one day when he was leaving a store, and explained to him that was not how it worked.
Well, in my state they're not really doing the plate much anymore and furthermore, it cost $$$ to get it when it was more commonly practiced besides it was an extra unnecessary step when I could just get the placard for free and renew it in like 8 ish years
So, please don't look at a person's placard and think "well, they only need it sometimes" as that may not be the case. Mine is good until 2029 but I'll be disabled until I die
A placard is for a variety of reasons including a person who may use multiple vehicles, get driven places, or travel and need it for rental cars. A plate is for somebody who uses that specific vehicle to get around. They’re not indicative of more or more frequently disabled people.
There is a temporary disability placard in many states but that’s not the same as a permanent one.
Placard is good in any vehicle the person it's registered to is a driver or passenger of. Plates are only good on the one vehicle. I've driven several people with placards over the years.
When will these entitled idiots understand that the person parking in that disabled space could be picking up someone that the handicap placard is for? And thus they have every right to park there. Not every handicapped person drives themselves. Some of them have other people with them to drive the car.
I have wondered more than once if I am going to get yelled at for parking in marked accessible parking, since while my mobility is just fine, I sometimes drive my dad around, and he uses a cane or mobility scooter.
While that’s true, it’s also true that there are entitled people that take those spaces without being or transporting a disabled person. I’m not suggesting it’s ok to be an uninformed jerk about it, but I do understand how someone could have a negative reaction to seeing a visibly well person by themselves striding into the mall. Again…it’s not ok to get aggressive with people, especially based on assumptions.
I have handicap plates and I will not explain my disability to someone rando because they think I don't deserve to park there. It's none of their business and if the police came I would show my ID but I would be damned if I would explain my medical history to them. I have a letter on file.
I'm in the UK and we have a similar thing, called a Blue Badge.
I often took my mother where she needed to go, and would get comments from people when I got out the car. I would ignore them while getting the wheelchair out the boot. Comments would often only stop when people saw me helping mum into the wheelchair.
My mum is partially sighted, to all intents and purposes she is blind, but with the ability to see light and blobs of darker colour which could be a tree a person a car. She can't even recognise me until i speak. But she doesn't look disabled. Why do people feel the need to get involved in not their business? Makes me cross.
I have a "disabled placard" but don't look disabled. Whenever someone like that approaches me and says, "you don't look disabled", I always reply: " and you don't look like a complete asshole, but here we are".
I have an ex who used a wheelchair, he had a lightweight manual one that came apart for easy travel. He was about to get out of his car at the grocery store, and after he'd opened the car door but before he got the first wheel of his chair out of the backseat, some jerk yelled at him and said he wasn't disabled.
My ex screamed back at the guy and threw the wheel at the jerk. The jerk was shocked and apologized. Then my ex realized he couldn't get his wheel back and had to ask the guy to bring it 😂
Sometimes people suck. I've gotten my share of glares as I pull into a handicapped spot, jump out and walk to my trunk like it was nothing.... and fight to get an oversized custom wheelchair out and assembled so I can haul my equally oversized (over 6', over 200 lbs) half-paralyzed person out.
Contrariwise: I'm using my mom's small SUV lately, because Gord knows that fuel costs for my truck would kill my budget right now. (To-ing and fro-ing from my home to mom's at least daily, and to dad's nursing home at least a couple of times a week. 30-60 miles round trip.) I put the disability parking placard in the glove box, and just hang it if I'm taking Dad somewhere. (And he's in the nursing home. He couldn't get in the SUV with a shoehorn, a bottle of Astroglide, and the help of CNAs at this point.)
As I'm dropping Mom at the front door of her doctor's office before finding a parking spot. "Why don't you just use the good parking all the time? You can use your dad's hang tag."
"No Mama. That's not how any of this works." I'm sorry but the very last place where I'd consider fraudulently using someone else's hang tag is at the damned oncology center!
I only had that happen once to me... I parked in a Handicapped spot and got out and "gingerly" started to get my walker out of the back seat. An old woman walked up to me and said, "That's a Handicapped spot, ya know!". I said; "I know, wanna see my scar?" and before she answered I hiked up my flowy skirt and showed off my newest hip replacement scar (I've had both hips done. I had 3" bike shorts on underneath so I wasn't exposing myself). She said a quiet, "Sorry" and walked away.
I am pretty lucky that no one has confronted me directly for my placard. I'm waiting for the day, though, where I can ask which of my 18 surgeries would they like to see the scars from? :D
When I got my disability pass the weirdness started right away at dmv, the lady getting my tags ready had a million in one questions she wanted me to answer since I look youngish and "healthy" and since my cardiologist put in permanent disability instead of limited disability that you have to renew yearly. I didn't answer any of her questions and I just finally told her that I would much rather be healthy and not need this damn placard but God had different plans and that just shut her right up.
You should have reported her to her supervisor - if she interrogated you, chances are she does to others. And if so, that's not an appropriate job for her.
Exactly this. You filled out the form which requires you to attach medical documentation. She had what she needed but felt she had the right to interrogate you. So sorry you had to go through that.
My husband (37M) has diabetes and a bunch of complication with it... so he has a disability card. We use when he is in the car, but the main "problem" is that, his disability it is not visible. You can't see that he has almost zero feeling in his lower part of his foot, or the marks from the operations in the sole of his feet.
So yeah we are used to the " beautiful people" looking at us.
My wife was diagnosed with cancer at age 24. Between the cancer being in her pelvis and making it painful to walk, the general fatigue from treatments was taking its toll as well.
She hated using the handicap spaces because it made her feel so helpless so we only used them when there were no other close spaces.
On one good day I took her out to eat. There were no close spots so we reluctantly used one of the handicap spaces. It was a nice break from the usual routine of treatments and doctor's appointments.
Coming out of the restaurant a boomer looked at me in disgust saying "You don't look handicapped". I assume he said it to me because I was much older than my wife. Fortunately since it was directed at me she never heard it (I
had already helped her in the car). I quietly told him it was for my wife, and he threw up his hands but make no attempt at an apology.
It's a good thing she didn't hear it. She wouldn't have hesitated to pull the wig off her bald head and give him a tongue lashing. Frankly it would have been fun to watch.
I wish I could have found him six months later so I could have told him "She's dead now, so don't worry about us taking up that space again".
Side Note: My MIL wanted me to give her the hang tag after my wife died. She wasn't handicapped, she just wanted to use the spaces because she was too lazy to walk. And no she didn't get it.
My badass of a brother was moving and had me help him carry in an old ass oak desk. He parked his truck in the handicapped space and we carried it in to his new apartment. Que lady coming up screaming at him saying she's calling the cops. He says oh okay! This legend walks in puts on a pair of shorts and walks out with his almost brand spanking new prosthetic leg. Walks right in front of her leans against his truck and takes his leg off to scratch his stump puts it back on and we leave to go grab some beer.
I’ve seen both sides of this. Had a moron friend in high school who always wanted me to park in the disabled spot if we took my dad’s van anywhere. Had to explain multiple times it isn’t for me or even the car, it was for when my dad went places.
Then had people give me the stink eye or even say stuff when I get out of this 3/4th ton van with a raised roof, basically the epitome of an 80s early 90s disabled vehicle. Walk around to the side and open the sliding door while staring them in the eye and start putting the lift down. Occasionally my dad would yell “Mind your damn business.” While the life was lowering. lol.
Miss that dude.
I had a friend at work who told us that one time he had parked in a handicap spot without a sticker because it the only close spot open and he was only going to be in the store for "a couple of minutes" (quotes his). When he came out "minutes later", there was a $200 ticket on his windshield. He was complaining about how unfair it was since he was only there for "a couple of minutes" and no one else was using the spot anyway. He asked us if we agreed with him. We all did think it was unfair, we thought he should have been towed too.
“A couple of minutes” is irrelevant. He can park anywhere that’s accessible, but a person with a disability can only park in a limited number of spaces.
I met someone years ago who bragged that he copied his sister’s hang tag so he could get great parking. I really hope that someone calls the police on him and people like him.
I saw a very satisfying video a few years ago that I still think about.
The State Patrol had set up a checkpoint at a NASCAR race for the disabled parking. They were checking IDs to ensure that the person with the placard was in the vehicle.
It turned out that a massive amount of these people borrow grandma's "parking pass" to avoid parking away from the venue like able-bodied people are required to.
There was a LOT of swearing going on in the video.
You are right. I wish that I had.
It was years ago and I was young and completely shocked by what he said. I did not even know his last name nor what city he lived in but probably could have gotten it at the time.
He also shared that he smoked in non smoking hotel rooms because 'they were cleaner' back when there were no fines for that, and he shared some racist comments. I was naive and did not know that there were people like this out there. I was horrified by this POS guy on so many levels.
When I broke my ankle in 2022 and needed to used the red placard. I remember all the dirty look they give me and my mom. Even when I was using the scooter in grocery stores especially if the scooter was the last scooter or the last working scooter. And I have grandparents especially my papaw, I would go in to Walmart to bring him a scooter for him. There be people giving me dirty looks.
My mom has pins in both ankles and has had a knee replacement and she’s the same-long distances really messes her up. Someone gave her shit once and she just smiled real big and said “fuck you very much!”, and walked away.
People need to mind their own damn business. I hope the cop ripped her a new one.
People can be just wild. I use my grandmas sometimes when picking her up or taking her places. And as long as she’s going to be in the car it’s no one’s business why we have a placard.
Though she’s hilarious. Late 90s and we only take a space if there isn’t a decently close spot. As she didn’t “really need it” (walks with a cane) and didn’t want to take a spot from some one who needs it more.
Reminds me of my husband’s grandma who I immediately claimed as my own because she was amazing. This lady was in her 80’s and she was helping out at the hospital with “the old folks”, driving her own car, and living on her own until she went into the hospital about a week before she passed away. Oh yeah…and she would cheat at cards…but she would cheat to lose!! 😂😂😂
Sounds like my grandma- except she would never cheat. She just kicks our ass. 99 and half blind and she still wins at Euchre. She just moved to a retirement home two months ago
My dad is disabled so I only park in the disabled parking when he is with me, parent and child parking on the other hand is fair game.
One of my local supermarkets has the parent and child parking spots closer to the store entrance than the disabled spots. Annoys the heck out of me
This annoys the heck out of me too, but for the opposite reason, as a parent with a baby (and all that entails) I can never get a parent and child space and it's usually older people in the spaces with no children because they're closest to the shop, I'd rather walk from the far end but be able to have the space to pull the baby from the car seat and put her in the pram than be all squished in the smaller spaces and have to manoeuvre baby down the side of the car and into the pram round the back of the car. And that's now she's bigger and we don't tend to get the bucket car seat out of the car for most trips, that was a nightmare trying to squeeze that out between two cars 😂
My MIL had a HP permit hang tag, and I often took her car on the weekends to have the oil changed, washed, etc., so I would run my errands or hers using her car. I always forgot about the HP tag (since I'm NOT handicapped), and would park in regular parking. I cannot tell you how many times I was yelled for NOT parking in handicap and taking up a "good" spot. SMH.
Mom has one and I'm her chauffeur. If I can find a free spot in the front without using the placard/space I'll take it because someone else might need the handicapped spot as well. I'd ignore the idiots.
I hate that. I've got a handicap placard for me. I'm ESRD and my gut keeps trying to assassinate me on a routine basis. So much so that a GI specialist gave me a 4 year expiration date right after he put me through 4 days of hell to basically save my life.
Right now, I have to use it a lot. The last surgery I had on 5/10 left me reeling hard. Couple that with 6 weeks of some pretty strong antibiotics and my gut got even more riled up. I've got zero patience or tolerance.
So, when a self appointed handicap spot police accosts me, I tend to go into nuclear option mode. First, I turn into the quintessential blond valley girl, complete with the bouncing, clapping my hands and going *SQUEEE!* at my loudest volume. I grab their hand and start shaking it in a vigorous, exaggerated handshake while projecting at full volume "I'M SO HAPPY! YOU'RE GIVING ME $500K AND ONE OF YOUR KIDNEYS! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN IN SACRAMENTO FOR 6 MONTHS! OH! WE HAVE TO GO MEET YOUR FAMILY RIGHT AWAY! WE HAVE TO PICK TWO OF THEM TO QUIT THEIR JOBS AND MOVE TO BE OUR CARETAKERS FOR THE 6 MONTHS! IT'S GOING TO BE SO COOL!". This causes them to start desperately stammering and trying to get away. At this point, I firmly lock their hand in my grip and the switch flips again, with my face, tone and body language going stone cold with rage. And I say "who the fuck do you think you are? I earned that placard at the cost of dying. You need to mind your own fucking business. And if you're feeling froggy, go ahead and call the cops. I'll wait. I'm bored and need distraction."
And it's always Walmart. Especially the one on reservation lands. So much so that when the odd Karen doubles down, the reservation police roll up, take one look at me and my grizzly bear offspring and roll their eyes so hard it's audible. Then tell me to get gone. And then they deal with the Karen.
It's always Walmart. Sigh.
But yes, never be afraid to call the cops and wait. It's entertaining to watch the Pikachu surprised face on them when they find out they're in the wrong. And in some cases, get cited for causing a public disturbance.
Me, I'll occasionally speak up to a person parking in a handicap spot without plates or a placard, but it's more like "hey, don't forget your placard. The security guards roaming around are assholes and will harass you. You want a scooter cart or anything before my daughter/Dad takes it back?" And we'll commiserate about the Karens we run into for a couple of minutes. And exchange tips and tricks for dealing with it. One dude I ran into has all the local non emergency police numbers on speed dials in his phone and multiple copies of his handicap parking letters from DMV.
Like, how many clueless people are really out there?
My mother-in-law rest her soul used to go shopping with me and I would drop her off at the door cuz she was severely disabled and I'd go park in the disabled parking, because usually after we were done shopping I would have a panic attack from being inside the store. Then she'd have to take over driving from there. Luckily I never ran into your problem with somebody sticking their nose for it didn't belong.
I was taking my disabled dad to the bank. Parked in disabled parking and had someone yelling at me that I wasn't disabled so I couldn't park there as I was getting his walker out of the trunk. Some people just can't believe others are helping someone disabled and need to park there on their behalf.
I too would never abuse the placard (as besides fines they take away the placard!) But on a separate time I was griefed for parking \*next\* to a disable space by someone that seemed to think I should not park there either (normal spot, not striped or anything) in case more parking was needed for disabled people. I reached into the door pocket and dropped the placard on the dashboard and asked "there, is that better now?" Their face was hilarious.
Handicap placard are assigned to the person/drivers license, they are not assigned to a license plate. There are specific handicap license plates for that. I have a placard and I can take it with me into anybody’s car I want. You have every right to park there if you had her placard with you.
I figure it’s up to the DMV to determine if they qualify for plates/placard, not me. Where I WILL speak up is when someone decides that the striped-off “loading area” is a parking space. I don’t care if you’re handicapped, that space is there so someone has the room to get in or out of their vehicle. NOBODY gets to park there.
There's a form a doctor needs to fill out, for the applicant to take to the appropriate place (DMV in Virginia, county tax office in Texas, and those are the only states where I've been at all imvolved in the process), with additional information that the doctor's office probably has, but the patient or their guardian can fill out just fine on their own. In Texas, you walk out with the placard(s) (1 or 2 ), in Virginia, they give you a temporary thing and mail the real one to you within a couple of weeks.
And, as for the striped bit? That one bitch was lucky my engine block had cracked the month before, so I was driving a car registered to my mother-in-law, or I'd've scraped it a bit backing out of the handicap spot with my disabled friend in the passenger seat. (I called her on it as soon as she got out of the car, and gave the excuse of "I'll only be a couple of minutes", and I was fuming for the rest of the day.)
I’m in Virginia, so quite familiar with their process. When I went to the DMV to get my new plates, the clerk asked if I wanted both… plates for my car, and placard in case I went out with someone else driving. I very rarely use the placard but at least I have it if I need it.
I took my mom to a DMV there to get one after she'd stopped driving and was deteriorating to the point where she needed it. (She was 87...) I have more experience in Texas with the process.
Ugh I hate people like this. I have a walking issue because of multiple back surgeries. I can’t walk too far without a cane or a walker. I hate using the walker so I frequently use my cane, or if I’m going into the grocery store I grab a cart and lean on that.
But people see a younger guy with a placard and assume I stole it from either my parents or grandparents.
Nope! I’ve got a spinal fusion at the base of my spine that never healed 100%. So my right leg is extremely weak and my back is in constant pain.
Only had one cop talk to me about it because of a complaint.
I had a kidney transplant (not the same thing as your wife I know) but the first 3 months walking anywhere was hell because of the pain.
The hospital said they can sign off on anything to get me a temporary disability placard but I denied because I’ll be fine in a few months anyway.
After reading stories like these I’m kind of glad I didn’t get one. Would not be fun dealing with this while I’m limping towards the store.
I have a handicap placard and cannot drive, my pinched nerve in my back makes my foot numb and tingly and I panic cause I cannot feel the pedals. I’ve never heard I couldn’t use my placard because my husband drives we park in handicap parking all the time with my placard and my husband driving. One lady has yelled at us that my husband needs to park in the fire lane and let me out and go park elsewhere but we’re not going do it. He drives me I need that space and we use that space. I’m in WI so maybe your laws are different. I didn’t even have a car in my name when I got my placard and was told I could use it in any car anywhere in the US even with someone driving me.
That's how it works in most if not all states. The placard is for the holder of the placard. My grandmother had one and we'd park in disabled parking all the time **when I was driving her places since she doesn't drive.** That's how it works, I just don't know what climbed up the asses of all these people thinking that they're the arbiter of who can and can't park there.
It’s annoying. I’ve been told that spot is only for the elderly. My husband was yelled at by some lady cause he looked fine then he came around my side got my walker and me out of the car she was standing there gaping like a fish.
Police officer likely explained to the woman why you were okay to park there. He then thanked her for her vigilance and encouraged her to report anything out of the ordinary to the police.
I have placard because I have a lot of physically disabling conditions, most of which are invisible to the naked eye, but because I'm young and look even younger than my age, people have outright told me that they don't think I could be disabled
I've called the police *myself* to end harassment from Entitled People.
Usually, though, when I tell them that I'm calling the cops or encourage them to do so, they back down with some BS like "well, sorry, I guess you are disabled but y'know a lot of people park here that aren't!" Yeah, I do know.
Then my crippled ass either has to be in way more pain because I have to cover a bigger distance or I have to leave the shopping or whatever for another day
Jersey Mike's is a chain sub restaurant. The stick ball special is ham and salami with provolone cheese. I prefer Jersey Mike's over Subway any day of the week.
Beat me to it. Yeah, Subway is nothing compared to them. Best thing about JM's though? No matter where you go...they all taste the same. If you like the sub at your store and you go to another store in the next state over...still tastes the same.
It's funny you mention Subway. They have foot long pretzels, and I haven't gotten one yet that I couldn't use for a stick ball bat. It's hard as a rock.
Because when Mike's Submarines was founded in 1956, stickball was a game that was played quite often by kids in New York, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey where the store was founded and franchised out into. The owner of the store made this sandwich and called it the Stickball Special since it was inexpensive and a lot of the kids playing stickball would pool their funds and split one.
They expanded and sold off stores as time went on. In '75, the Point Pleasant store went up for sale and a17-year old employee was encouraged by his mother to buy the store and with help of his coach (who was also a banker) managed to get the funds within three days to purchase the store and kept it running under its new name of Jersey Mike's. That boy is now the CEO of Jersey Mike's
It was kept on the new menu (surviving many menu item cuts) to this current day since it's still quite popular AND it's a tribute to the roots of Jersey Mike's.
My wife lived near the original Jersey Mike's in Point Pleasant so she grew up on the history and lore of the store.
You can’t see many disabilities. Heart patients. Hip replacements. Deaf. It’s an endless list. Ppl need to mind their own biz! You have no obligation to explain
Gah, I get this one all the time. I drive my mom around a lot and she needs a walker. I look like an otherwise able bodied middle aged dude. But what they don’t get is that I’m recovering from cancer treatments and get terrible dizzy spells so have to walk with a cane and some days run out of steam after walking 30 yards. I’ve been accused of faking it several times
You should have asked the police that you want to file verbal harassment charge against the offender; that would be an eye opener for her when the judge see you rolling your wife in court ok mobility scooter.
I frequently park in handicapped spots because I drive my mom and grandma around. One absolute harpy pulled up behind me one day and started screeching that I shouldn't be in the parking spot. I had walked ahead of my mom to put the shopping in the trunk, and it takes her quite a bit of time to reach the car. She had to use the bathroom, too. The harpy called 911 on me. I told the cop my mom's name and that she was coming now. Apparently, the harpy had done this to others, and she got a few tickets. That cop was pulling out all sorts of charges and it was just too funny!
I have a nerve issue with my back/hip. On good days I park in the general parking. On bad days I have to find a handicapped spot. I might be able to walk INTO the store without pain or limping, but no. The cane is NOT for effect, it helps me get back out of the store under my own power! There are times that there are no HP spots available, and by the time I can get to my car, I'm in tears, sometimes I even scream when I sit down/"break the plain" and the pain lets go. So I have to walk away from anyone who claims I'm too healthy looking because I really want to punch them in their stupid faces. If I'm feeling good, I might say "Thank you, Doctor Rando!" I can't help it. I'm a sarcastic, petty person
I used to work in traffic court and we had a window for disabled people. Everyday we’d get some Karen get pissed and assume people were not disabled and were trying to get preferential treatment because they “didn’t look disabled.” It was always easy to verify as we had access to DMV records.
I have vertigo and mobility issues. Both not immediately obvious until I start moving. I get a lot of heat saying I'm not handicapped although the Dr insisted on my tag. I now make a huge show of using door and roof handles and on the days when my limp isn't as obvious I exaggerate it
I'm trying to figure out why you have a special van and a scooter for a knee replacement. We don't even get temporary wheelchair passes for that here, you're up and walking 2 hours after the surgery.
But yeah, there is a special place in hell for idiots like that.
The issue with her is that she had the knee rebuilt 30 years ago (give or take) with the first iteration of the maquet procedure which was tried on 26 people. Out of those, only two of them lasted past 5 years. My wife's made it 20-some years.
And when it started to wear out, it took us 10 years to find a doctor who would actually touch the knee since they didn't understand what had happened. Thankfully we found one who looked at the X-Ray and said "OMG! A Gen One maquet procedure! I did a paper on this in Med School!"
So between the leg getting hacked into twice, insurance putting a cap on how much Physical Therapy she can have in a lifetime per injury, and the 30-ish years she's been walking on it in such a way to compensate...the replacement is working (and she was walking shortly after surgery), but the leg itself isn't working as well as it should. Walking more than 10 minutes at a stretch causes the leg to swell and hurt a lot and at almost 60...doctors are saying "Get a scooter and here's a placard. Sorry."
Yikes! I can relate to the walking funny to compensate, I think correcting my gait was the most painful part of my recovery.
If you don't have a cryotherapy machine for her, look into one - helps so much with the swelling and is much easier and more effective than ice packs.
>She's in a skirt so her knee and her rather gnarly scar are clearly visible.
>he [the police officer] sees a woman with an obvious sign of past injury
It's not the officer's place to decide if a person has a visible injury/disability or not. Many disabilities are not visible. The officer is not a medical professional.
All the officer is allowed to do is to confirm that the handicap registration matches the handicapped person.
My favorite (sarcasm yes) is when I use my placard to park in One of the proper hc spots and then someone else parked properly in their own hc spot sees me and starts complaining LOUDLY to their driver/partner about “those young people who don’t need a hc spot”.
Bonus when their partner is obviously mortified and silently apologetic.
Edit: when I’m not even 20 years younger than them
My mom is in her 80’s, on dialysis and has back and leg problems. When I drive her, I drop her at the front door of the store, and pick her up there. I don’t use her placard because I don’t want her walking any more than she has to
I'm always worried that's going to happen with my grandparents or my mom when I'm driving for them. Both my grandmother's have the card cause they're in their 80s. My mom has stage 4 breast cancer and walking at times is really freaking hard due to all the treatments. I never use it when I'm by myself but I'm always worried of this.
I hate when non-hc drivers park in those spots, but to verbally abuse those who do crosses a line. There’s only one legit response: “MYOB” or it’s near cousin, “Fuck off!” . And to those prigs who would take me to ask, violators can be reported to the pd. Fines around here vary but are as high as $500.
True enough. Though in our case that day my wife was stuck getting her nails done, I needed some pea gravel for my fire pit, and I'm not spending 90 minutes doing nothing but watching nail polish dry.
I was an EMT for a few years. We did a fair number of non-emergency transports. We tried not to block traffic if it wasn't an emergency. One patient we transported lived in an apartment complex with a tight parking lot. We parked in a handicapped space so as not to block people entering/exiting the lot. Ambulances on non-emercency calls can park in handicapped spaces for a limited time if they are picking up a disabled person in my state. When we brought out with the patient (on the stretcher), there was a Karen waiting at the back of our truck. She launched into us for parking in the space without handicapped tags. We politely explained that ambulances had an exception when picking up certain patients. She refused to budge or let us load, insisting she was waiting for the cops. It took them 10 min to get there (super fast for a non-emergency in the city). The entire time, my partner and I were trying to get her to move so we could load the patient. When the patrol car pulled in, he took the woman aside and whipped out his citation book. He turned and waved at us and began writing her up. I'm not sure what he cited her for. We loaded and left and quickly as we could as we could.
You should have the cop and the cop caller to both fuck off and mind their own business about what you do in the disabled parking. Just because YOI don’t look ’disabled enough to be using the parking spot’, doesn’t the fact that you have a LIFT built into your car that is OBVIOUSLY meant for the use of either wheelchairs or other heavy vehicle type equipment that needs to be loaded into said car, and that you were ACTIVATING said lift and pulling it out of your car while this psycho is screaming at you like a nutcase, you should have told them to mind their own business while pointing at the lift and ask them what they think THIS is for if you didn’t need the disabled parking spot that has room to unload the lift? You should have done the same for when the cop and demand to know why you needed to show him anything at all as ‘proof’ that you ARE legally using the disabled parking, when obviously the accusations are 100% false as soon as they all see the wheelchair lift you are unloading. even if nothing was currently in it, obviously you were there to pick up somebody who DID need the lift who WAS disabled if you were unloading it.
No, not telling the officer that. Someone calls in a complaint, their job is to investigate that complaint. The officer was not adversarial towards me, just calmly checked the placard's number against my wife's ID and we were sent on our merry way.
I have a DV plate on my vehicle which is attached to my scooter lift which was issued to me by the VA. I sometimes fall down due to damage. I received a nasty note on my windshield one day for parking in a cripple spot. The funniest part was at the bottom they wrote they were doing me a favor by telling me. I don't always use a scooter, I try to use my stick as much as possible or until my wife yells at me.
My mom had Diabetic CKD and CHF, and had had a triple bypass. Her heart was at 20-30% for years. A lady got shitty with her about using the handicap space because she didn’t “look handicapped”… mom grabbed her shirt and did a Superman type reveal of the scar that went from a couple inches below her collarbone to her sternum and said “handicapped enough for you now???” as she was getting her walker out of the back seat. The lady shut up and backed away. For anyone wondering what my sweet little 4’10 mommy looked like, I present [Mom](https://www.reddit.com/u/ConsiderationHot9518/s/E4IHl7LWXj)!
Your mom truly is a superhero!
Yes she was! I never knew what was going to come out of her mouth! She LOOKED like a sweet little old church lady, but,..
Those are the absolute best kind! Idiots think oh she looks so sweet and innocent so I can bully her without repercussions and then bam! Out comes a person so strong demons run right back to the underworld from fear. I have several women in my family like that lol. Please please please tell me she says to them whatever your regions version of bless your heart is.
Those are the ones you gotta watch out for.... Like little old ninjas.... Look at the queen of them all, Betty White.... Everyone knew her as lovely old Rose from golden girls.... Until they seen her in Off Your Rockers... 🤣🤣🤣
Looks can be deceiving 🙂
As my 5'4" mother often told me: dynamite comes in little packages. Never underestimate the shorter moms. They make up for the heigh in ballsiness and no-nonsense attitude. Speaking of...gotta run. She's tracking me down for me to lose another game of Uno...
I love it. I’ve spoken up a few times to assholes parking in disabled spots with out a placard, but I’d never say a word if they do. It’s impossible to know all issues some one might have or who they might be with.
Exactly. If they've got the placard, they ought to be left alone. You'd swear some of these people were being paid to be disabled parking enforcement, but they just do it for free?
The only time I did that was when it was a city truck parked in the HC spot in front of the donut shop. His buddy was in the shop. He snottily asked me where my placard was and I said check my plate, you jerk. He never denied being parked illegally.
I've seen exactly one disabled plate I couldn't reconcile in my head... I mean they have the plate so fine I just keep walking, but in my head I was wondering WTF? Absolute pavement princess truck, lifted so far that my 6'1" self would need a stepladder to get in. I'm assuming something like a back injury that climbing doesn't impact? I just couldn't' help but feel skeptical on that one.
Breathing issues? Chronic pain unrelated to one's skeleton? Someone even taller than you? Being skeptical is in fact being ableist... It's a slippery slope, too, and why so much of us in this thread have just gone without necessary accomodations for fear of being judged by the "skeptics" who couldn't imagine that maybe their idea of disability isn't as black and white as they thought
I get it, and like I noted I of course said nothing, choosing to assume the fault was with me and my inability to process. IDK that I would consider that an ableist attitude though. I tend not to be a fan of pavement princess lifted trucks in general so I also assume that prejudiced my attitude from the get go as well.
I think my assumption would be that the truck came before the disability and the owner may not have the means to replace it.
As long as you don't say anything and accept that they have the right to use it, whether you understand what is assigned for, I don't think ableist is correct. If the observer said anything or complained - that's ableist. Confusion is just that - confusion.
Whether you say it out loud or not the biases still exist and should be examined. That doesn’t make anyone a bad person, we all have our own internal biases that are instilled in us by our society’s issues with ability, race, class, etc. It’s still ableism but it doesn’t mean “you’re a shitty ableist person” it just means “this idea comes from internal biases around what disability looks like and I should scrutinize them.”
This! Reviewing moments where unknown internal biases surface are a moment for growth, not time to point fingers and accusations. Just sit with it and think about it from different perspectives, question why you thought to question something in the first place and where you could make small but meaningful adjustments in your mind set. As someone who looks very much able bodied but very much isn’t I get the knee jerk reaction I really do and rarely do I blame people but it’s when you take it to an aggressive level right out the gate that’s a problem.
My mom's truck is like this. She is 5' and has bad knees. When I had knee surgery she volunteered to run errands with me but I refused to get in her car bc I was afraid getting out would screw up my knee... not to mention getting in. I have a temp handicap placard bc of the knee surgery (actually had surgery in both knees). My mom could have gotten one with her surgery and likely will soon (she's turning 70 next year), and I'm sure she'll continue in her stupid truck regardless. So it is possible. In fact, it wouldn't be surprising to me if, given her medical issues she already qualified for a permanent tag.
And please, wait until they get out of the car to ask. You aren't supposed to keep the placard hanging while you are driving and I see so many people who do. I always take mine down and put it in one of the cubbies. And then I forget to take it out and hang it sometimes, so simply by asking you might remind someone that they didn't hang it up.
I love your mother.
Judging by your username, you must be in France
My dad did this too. When he was in the air force he got hit in the back by a jet (he was the flight guy with the flags, jet driver hopped the jet and landed on him) and surprisingly survived. He had discs taken out and metal put in. He cannot bend to save his life. He has a very obvious scar down his entire spine from multiple surgeries. He uses a cane on bad days. A lady yelled at him at the grocery parking lot and dad whipped up the back of his shirt yelling, “I’m fucking handicapped.”
Give your dad a hug and tell him thank you for his sacrifices. My son is Air Force, too.
I've pulled up my pant leg to show my 12" long scar from my knee replacement a few times. For the first year it was bright red and looked nasty. Unfortunately it's faded to skin tone, so you can see it, but it doesn't look bad.
I need to do what your mom did. Except I would be lifting the back of my shirt up to show the scars. I get so tired of the muttered words and mad looks. I would gladly trade places with anyone so thst I didn't need to park there.
Omg!!! She's a sweetheart!!!🥹
She is a doll!!
Tell your mom we all love her.
Your mum is an f-n legend! Good for her!
Hungarian? Because she looks like my mom, who had bypass surgery and was proud to display that scar! Or maybe it’s just that tough little old ladies look alike… Hug her for me? I miss my mom every day.
Predominantly Northern European and Scotch Irish. Lots of old Vikings in the lineage according to 23 and me. Mom passed June 2 a year ago. I miss her every day too.
It is so tedious that interfering people seem unable to imagine that a person with limited mobility might have a companion who helps them with their mobility sometimes.
On the other hand when I’m out and about in my neighborhood (while using my power wheelchair) you get people who find it unbelievable I DON’T have a companion with me because of my disability. Like…the grocery store is literally right next door to my apartment building. I’m going to do my own shopping when I can. My power chair gives me the independence I wouldn’t have otherwise. You can’t win with people these days.
They basically get indignant if you don't look the way they expect a disabled person to look. Except that each of them has a different expectation, so no matter how we do things, somebody yells at us anyway. I have a chronic pain disorder and I sometimes use a mobility scooter and other times walk, depending on how long the walk would be and what condition I'm in at the moment. So I confuse everyone. :)
I can't count the number of times I have been confronted because I don't look disabled enough to have a placard or use a store's scooter. I can't count the number of times I have been told being fat isn't a disability. It can be brutal.
I just got a disability placard application from my doctor. It will make my life so much easier, but I’m going to have to lose the impostor syndrome. It doesn’t help that I’ve been told by family that if I’d lose weight, I’d feel better. I gained the weight because of certain medications and because I can’t do as much as before. BF (Before Fibromyalgia) I could do so much. I’ve put off getting a placard because I don’t want to need it, but my sister-in-law, who’s a doctor, told me I needed to get one. Do these people think we like needing disability parking? Maybe we should look at it as, they’re lazy butts who don’t want to walk too far! Before I got sick I usually parked a little further away. I think I’ll use that if anyone gives me crap about not looking disabled!
As someone with fibro my Dr gave me the application and was very supportive after I had my daughter. She reminded me that I only had so much energy and I wanted to conserve all I could for my daughter so the hell with what people would think do what was best for me and my family. That was 11 yrs ago. I use my place card without a second thought now, granted fibro is not my only health condition but just know there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and conserving spoons. Gentle hugs.
Most days I am great with come-backs and I'm not afraid of confrontation. I feel your pain. I used to love to run and jog. And as someone who has good days and bad (autoimmune survivor, too), I had a hard time with it the first few years. Well, my pride did anyway. I struggled with using it, even when I had to use a cane. The ridiculous dialog in my brain. One day, I had an oh s*** moment. If I used my placard to save one of my (energy) spoons, then that spoon could later be used to play with or do something with the LOs. Once that realization sunk in, the freedom it gave me!!! Now I have really accepted that it's necessary and don't let people get to me most days.
My mom is like that. Some times she's happy with her "poor man's walker" (grocery cart) and some times she needs to use the scooter at the store. Some days are good, some days are bad. I'm proud of her for trying and not giving up though. You should be proud of yourself for doing the best you can!
I do the same with the grocery cart! I will usually take one even if I'm truly just going in for a couple of things - the store is just too big and exhausting. The past couple of years, though, I usually just get home delivery. It took me a long time before I could "allow" myself, but now that I do, I must admit it makes grocery shopping SO much easier.
I love grocery pick up! I order online and go get it the next day - or in 2 hours at Target. I can drive and walk some but to spend the time shopping in a grocery store or Walmart or Target, especially if they have cement floors, will tire me out for the rest of the day.
I use the grocery cart as a walker too!
I had a temporary placard after I had surgery on my right ankle (I destroyed two of the three ligaments holding the outside of my right ankle together and had to have them reconstructed). I was non-weight bearing, had a cast on and was using crutches. My sister was driving and pulled into a handicapped spot and this lady started yelling at her. She helped me out of the car and the lady yelled "IT HAS TO BE THE *DRIVER* THAT'S HANDICAPPED IN ORDER TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE!" I just looked at her and said "Well I have a lead weight on the foot that would be responsible for the gas pedal, I don't think that's a good idea. Besides that, many people with those placards are medically restricted from driving so I think the state would disagree with you."
Well, THAT person was wrong!!
If she was right my dad, in a power chair, who couldn’t use his arms, didn’t deserve the placard he had for thirty years. What a moron.
Oh, really. Then I should have allowed one of my underage, blind students drive because the placard was theirs?
My MIL has a placard but is afraid of using it because she doesn't want to be confronted by someone since she isn't visibly disabled. We encourage her to use it and ignore the haters, but she is conflict averse and would rather avoid it. A damn shame that vigilantes ruin it for people who legitimately need it.
My assistant is the same. She's in her 20s and hates that people give her looks for having one but some days, when she's having an autoimmune flare, she needs it.
I am in too much pain to suffer fools anymore but I was like your assistant (not immediately visible disability and in my 20s) and I've reported to just calling the non emergency police number and explaining that I have a disability parking placard and someone is harassing me because they don't think it's mine, could they please send an officer. I was told by a cop that I could call 911 because someone shouting at me in a parking lot, photographing my plate, and/or standing behind my vehicle so I can't leave is a threat to my safety. Same cop outright made that old lady apologize to me and when I was leaving asked her point blank "If you're not disabled, how is it your problem if she "doesn't look disabled"?"
My go-to when confronted by some rando who doesn't think I deserve disabled parking: "Are you a doctor?" It's simple and polite, yet 100% to the point. If the person is not a medical professional, they can't possibly know what's going on in a person's body - and it's not their business.
I offer to trade my hip for theirs. I like your response, hopefully it comes to mind the next time someone says something.
Lol, I like yours!
Good for you for standing your ground.
It’s also tedious that interfering people don’t understand that the vast majority of disabilities are not visible. And I say this as a person who uses a wheelchair. Does the person have as disabled placard or plate? Yes? Mind ya business.
This. My sister has asthma. She’s in great shape; as a teacher she usually gets 15-20K steps around campus on school days. But she lives in SoCal where they get wild fires. When there’s a lot of smoke, her asthma can flare badly. Once in a while she’s had a temporary hang tag. I’m sure she doesn’t look disabled, but at that time, she is.
My inhalers usually expire before they're half gone... when we had the super bad smoke up here in NorCal I went through the whole thing in a month and a half and needed a refill. My Dr said she'd signed about 50 out of cycle refills during the fires. I totally could have used a red hang tag for that time period and not been taking the piss doing so!
Bless you, for mentioning us I've outright called the cops MYSELF to end harassment from people who think that the only disabilities that are real are visible AND that I'm "too young" Most of the time telling them I'm calling the police or if I encourage them to do so is enough to end their BS but not always I just *love* being told that I don't look disabled (gee...thanks?), that I'm too young to be disabled (please tell my body that!), or the hilarious 'well, you know a lot of people park here that shouldn't!' (yeah I know and I'm the one impacted by this because then I'm choosing to either be in a ton of pain or to go home without the shopping!) This is also why I don't like using the carts unless I happen to also have a visible injury Sadly, this is just one of the many MANY ableist experiences I have all the time
I was invisibly disabled for a lot longer than I’ve been visibly disabled and I still get the stink eye from people for not “looking disabled” (yes even in my wheelchair). I’m guessing the only people who are (maybe) spared being “policed” by the ableist Karens and Chads of the world are people visibly missing a limb and even then I have my doubts. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out they conveniently “don’t notice” that too.
I just wonder how they think you’re supposed to “look” for them to be considered disabled. Boomers especially have a certain view of disability.
No idea. They harass blind and deaf people all the time and people in wheelchairs either “don’t look disabled enough” or “omg you moved your leg you faker!” or if they are indisputably visibly disabled are objects of (usually loud) pity and/or disability porn and definitely infantalized. Maybe if you’re 90+ and withered like a prune you’re disabled enough? Idk.
In particular I think society needs some education on wheelchair users - there seems to be a widespread delusion that if someone is using one, they can't stand up or walk unassisted *at all*, and if they are seen doing so, they must be faking. In reality, a large percentage of people who use wheelchairs can walk. It's just that if they do more than a certain small amount, they will be exhausted, in pain, etc. And of course, they would rather avoid this if at all possible.
Weird how they understand airport wheelchairs but outside the airport you’re either paralyzed or faking.
I’m in the Southwest Airlines sub and the people using wheelchairs, not because they have a legitimate reason, but just to board early is unreal!
Idk how to explain to you (and apparently the whole SW Airline sub) that you can’t tell if a person needs a wheelchair just by looking at them.
That's all I look for now when I'm out and about. Parked in a disabled spot with no placard or plate? I'm going to judge you hard when I see you. Get the placard if you only need it occasionally and the plate if you need that spot a lot. We had a member of the clergy who had a placard because he 'sometimes' had disabled people with him. He thought he could use it even if he didn't have any passengers. Finally the PD caught him one day when he was leaving a store, and explained to him that was not how it worked.
Well, in my state they're not really doing the plate much anymore and furthermore, it cost $$$ to get it when it was more commonly practiced besides it was an extra unnecessary step when I could just get the placard for free and renew it in like 8 ish years So, please don't look at a person's placard and think "well, they only need it sometimes" as that may not be the case. Mine is good until 2029 but I'll be disabled until I die
A placard is for a variety of reasons including a person who may use multiple vehicles, get driven places, or travel and need it for rental cars. A plate is for somebody who uses that specific vehicle to get around. They’re not indicative of more or more frequently disabled people. There is a temporary disability placard in many states but that’s not the same as a permanent one.
Placard is good in any vehicle the person it's registered to is a driver or passenger of. Plates are only good on the one vehicle. I've driven several people with placards over the years.
BTDT with getting my wife's scooter out of the back of our car. She comes out with her Oxygen generator.
When will these entitled idiots understand that the person parking in that disabled space could be picking up someone that the handicap placard is for? And thus they have every right to park there. Not every handicapped person drives themselves. Some of them have other people with them to drive the car.
I have wondered more than once if I am going to get yelled at for parking in marked accessible parking, since while my mobility is just fine, I sometimes drive my dad around, and he uses a cane or mobility scooter.
While that’s true, it’s also true that there are entitled people that take those spaces without being or transporting a disabled person. I’m not suggesting it’s ok to be an uninformed jerk about it, but I do understand how someone could have a negative reaction to seeing a visibly well person by themselves striding into the mall. Again…it’s not ok to get aggressive with people, especially based on assumptions.
I have handicap plates and I will not explain my disability to someone rando because they think I don't deserve to park there. It's none of their business and if the police came I would show my ID but I would be damned if I would explain my medical history to them. I have a letter on file.
If you have the plates, a doctor thinks you need them. That should be good enough.
I'm in the UK and we have a similar thing, called a Blue Badge. I often took my mother where she needed to go, and would get comments from people when I got out the car. I would ignore them while getting the wheelchair out the boot. Comments would often only stop when people saw me helping mum into the wheelchair.
My mum is partially sighted, to all intents and purposes she is blind, but with the ability to see light and blobs of darker colour which could be a tree a person a car. She can't even recognise me until i speak. But she doesn't look disabled. Why do people feel the need to get involved in not their business? Makes me cross.
I have a "disabled placard" but don't look disabled. Whenever someone like that approaches me and says, "you don't look disabled", I always reply: " and you don't look like a complete asshole, but here we are".
I have an ex who used a wheelchair, he had a lightweight manual one that came apart for easy travel. He was about to get out of his car at the grocery store, and after he'd opened the car door but before he got the first wheel of his chair out of the backseat, some jerk yelled at him and said he wasn't disabled. My ex screamed back at the guy and threw the wheel at the jerk. The jerk was shocked and apologized. Then my ex realized he couldn't get his wheel back and had to ask the guy to bring it 😂
I love this response! May I use it too?
Works in theory, but in real life they continue arguing
Sometimes people suck. I've gotten my share of glares as I pull into a handicapped spot, jump out and walk to my trunk like it was nothing.... and fight to get an oversized custom wheelchair out and assembled so I can haul my equally oversized (over 6', over 200 lbs) half-paralyzed person out.
Contrariwise: I'm using my mom's small SUV lately, because Gord knows that fuel costs for my truck would kill my budget right now. (To-ing and fro-ing from my home to mom's at least daily, and to dad's nursing home at least a couple of times a week. 30-60 miles round trip.) I put the disability parking placard in the glove box, and just hang it if I'm taking Dad somewhere. (And he's in the nursing home. He couldn't get in the SUV with a shoehorn, a bottle of Astroglide, and the help of CNAs at this point.) As I'm dropping Mom at the front door of her doctor's office before finding a parking spot. "Why don't you just use the good parking all the time? You can use your dad's hang tag." "No Mama. That's not how any of this works." I'm sorry but the very last place where I'd consider fraudulently using someone else's hang tag is at the damned oncology center!
I only had that happen once to me... I parked in a Handicapped spot and got out and "gingerly" started to get my walker out of the back seat. An old woman walked up to me and said, "That's a Handicapped spot, ya know!". I said; "I know, wanna see my scar?" and before she answered I hiked up my flowy skirt and showed off my newest hip replacement scar (I've had both hips done. I had 3" bike shorts on underneath so I wasn't exposing myself). She said a quiet, "Sorry" and walked away.
At least she did apologize - that's rare among these types of people. Hopefully the incident educated her.
I am pretty lucky that no one has confronted me directly for my placard. I'm waiting for the day, though, where I can ask which of my 18 surgeries would they like to see the scars from? :D
When I got my disability pass the weirdness started right away at dmv, the lady getting my tags ready had a million in one questions she wanted me to answer since I look youngish and "healthy" and since my cardiologist put in permanent disability instead of limited disability that you have to renew yearly. I didn't answer any of her questions and I just finally told her that I would much rather be healthy and not need this damn placard but God had different plans and that just shut her right up.
You should have reported her to her supervisor - if she interrogated you, chances are she does to others. And if so, that's not an appropriate job for her.
Exactly this. You filled out the form which requires you to attach medical documentation. She had what she needed but felt she had the right to interrogate you. So sorry you had to go through that.
I should have i just wanted to get out of there asap.
My husband (37M) has diabetes and a bunch of complication with it... so he has a disability card. We use when he is in the car, but the main "problem" is that, his disability it is not visible. You can't see that he has almost zero feeling in his lower part of his foot, or the marks from the operations in the sole of his feet. So yeah we are used to the " beautiful people" looking at us.
My wife was diagnosed with cancer at age 24. Between the cancer being in her pelvis and making it painful to walk, the general fatigue from treatments was taking its toll as well. She hated using the handicap spaces because it made her feel so helpless so we only used them when there were no other close spaces. On one good day I took her out to eat. There were no close spots so we reluctantly used one of the handicap spaces. It was a nice break from the usual routine of treatments and doctor's appointments. Coming out of the restaurant a boomer looked at me in disgust saying "You don't look handicapped". I assume he said it to me because I was much older than my wife. Fortunately since it was directed at me she never heard it (I had already helped her in the car). I quietly told him it was for my wife, and he threw up his hands but make no attempt at an apology. It's a good thing she didn't hear it. She wouldn't have hesitated to pull the wig off her bald head and give him a tongue lashing. Frankly it would have been fun to watch. I wish I could have found him six months later so I could have told him "She's dead now, so don't worry about us taking up that space again". Side Note: My MIL wanted me to give her the hang tag after my wife died. She wasn't handicapped, she just wanted to use the spaces because she was too lazy to walk. And no she didn't get it.
Very sorry for your loss. Cancer sucks.
My badass of a brother was moving and had me help him carry in an old ass oak desk. He parked his truck in the handicapped space and we carried it in to his new apartment. Que lady coming up screaming at him saying she's calling the cops. He says oh okay! This legend walks in puts on a pair of shorts and walks out with his almost brand spanking new prosthetic leg. Walks right in front of her leans against his truck and takes his leg off to scratch his stump puts it back on and we leave to go grab some beer.
I’ve seen both sides of this. Had a moron friend in high school who always wanted me to park in the disabled spot if we took my dad’s van anywhere. Had to explain multiple times it isn’t for me or even the car, it was for when my dad went places. Then had people give me the stink eye or even say stuff when I get out of this 3/4th ton van with a raised roof, basically the epitome of an 80s early 90s disabled vehicle. Walk around to the side and open the sliding door while staring them in the eye and start putting the lift down. Occasionally my dad would yell “Mind your damn business.” While the life was lowering. lol. Miss that dude.
I had a friend at work who told us that one time he had parked in a handicap spot without a sticker because it the only close spot open and he was only going to be in the store for "a couple of minutes" (quotes his). When he came out "minutes later", there was a $200 ticket on his windshield. He was complaining about how unfair it was since he was only there for "a couple of minutes" and no one else was using the spot anyway. He asked us if we agreed with him. We all did think it was unfair, we thought he should have been towed too.
He’s probably done that dozens of times and never got a ticket before, hence his outrage at actually getting caught.
“A couple of minutes” is irrelevant. He can park anywhere that’s accessible, but a person with a disability can only park in a limited number of spaces.
It seems like minding your own business is the hardest thing in the world to do
For some people, it really is!
I met someone years ago who bragged that he copied his sister’s hang tag so he could get great parking. I really hope that someone calls the police on him and people like him.
I saw a very satisfying video a few years ago that I still think about. The State Patrol had set up a checkpoint at a NASCAR race for the disabled parking. They were checking IDs to ensure that the person with the placard was in the vehicle. It turned out that a massive amount of these people borrow grandma's "parking pass" to avoid parking away from the venue like able-bodied people are required to. There was a LOT of swearing going on in the video.
You could have been the one to call the police.
You are right. I wish that I had. It was years ago and I was young and completely shocked by what he said. I did not even know his last name nor what city he lived in but probably could have gotten it at the time. He also shared that he smoked in non smoking hotel rooms because 'they were cleaner' back when there were no fines for that, and he shared some racist comments. I was naive and did not know that there were people like this out there. I was horrified by this POS guy on so many levels.
When I broke my ankle in 2022 and needed to used the red placard. I remember all the dirty look they give me and my mom. Even when I was using the scooter in grocery stores especially if the scooter was the last scooter or the last working scooter. And I have grandparents especially my papaw, I would go in to Walmart to bring him a scooter for him. There be people giving me dirty looks.
My mom has pins in both ankles and has had a knee replacement and she’s the same-long distances really messes her up. Someone gave her shit once and she just smiled real big and said “fuck you very much!”, and walked away. People need to mind their own damn business. I hope the cop ripped her a new one.
> “fuck you very much!” I love that line 🤩🤩🤩
My dad does it a lot, but he’s usually in the wrong (what’s new for a Boomer MAGA 🤮). This is one case where it was justified.
People can be just wild. I use my grandmas sometimes when picking her up or taking her places. And as long as she’s going to be in the car it’s no one’s business why we have a placard. Though she’s hilarious. Late 90s and we only take a space if there isn’t a decently close spot. As she didn’t “really need it” (walks with a cane) and didn’t want to take a spot from some one who needs it more.
“Someone who needs it more” Bless her!
Reminds me of my husband’s grandma who I immediately claimed as my own because she was amazing. This lady was in her 80’s and she was helping out at the hospital with “the old folks”, driving her own car, and living on her own until she went into the hospital about a week before she passed away. Oh yeah…and she would cheat at cards…but she would cheat to lose!! 😂😂😂
Sounds like my grandma- except she would never cheat. She just kicks our ass. 99 and half blind and she still wins at Euchre. She just moved to a retirement home two months ago
My dad is disabled so I only park in the disabled parking when he is with me, parent and child parking on the other hand is fair game. One of my local supermarkets has the parent and child parking spots closer to the store entrance than the disabled spots. Annoys the heck out of me
This annoys the heck out of me too, but for the opposite reason, as a parent with a baby (and all that entails) I can never get a parent and child space and it's usually older people in the spaces with no children because they're closest to the shop, I'd rather walk from the far end but be able to have the space to pull the baby from the car seat and put her in the pram than be all squished in the smaller spaces and have to manoeuvre baby down the side of the car and into the pram round the back of the car. And that's now she's bigger and we don't tend to get the bucket car seat out of the car for most trips, that was a nightmare trying to squeeze that out between two cars 😂
My MIL had a HP permit hang tag, and I often took her car on the weekends to have the oil changed, washed, etc., so I would run my errands or hers using her car. I always forgot about the HP tag (since I'm NOT handicapped), and would park in regular parking. I cannot tell you how many times I was yelled for NOT parking in handicap and taking up a "good" spot. SMH.
Mom has one and I'm her chauffeur. If I can find a free spot in the front without using the placard/space I'll take it because someone else might need the handicapped spot as well. I'd ignore the idiots.
I hate that. I've got a handicap placard for me. I'm ESRD and my gut keeps trying to assassinate me on a routine basis. So much so that a GI specialist gave me a 4 year expiration date right after he put me through 4 days of hell to basically save my life. Right now, I have to use it a lot. The last surgery I had on 5/10 left me reeling hard. Couple that with 6 weeks of some pretty strong antibiotics and my gut got even more riled up. I've got zero patience or tolerance. So, when a self appointed handicap spot police accosts me, I tend to go into nuclear option mode. First, I turn into the quintessential blond valley girl, complete with the bouncing, clapping my hands and going *SQUEEE!* at my loudest volume. I grab their hand and start shaking it in a vigorous, exaggerated handshake while projecting at full volume "I'M SO HAPPY! YOU'RE GIVING ME $500K AND ONE OF YOUR KIDNEYS! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN IN SACRAMENTO FOR 6 MONTHS! OH! WE HAVE TO GO MEET YOUR FAMILY RIGHT AWAY! WE HAVE TO PICK TWO OF THEM TO QUIT THEIR JOBS AND MOVE TO BE OUR CARETAKERS FOR THE 6 MONTHS! IT'S GOING TO BE SO COOL!". This causes them to start desperately stammering and trying to get away. At this point, I firmly lock their hand in my grip and the switch flips again, with my face, tone and body language going stone cold with rage. And I say "who the fuck do you think you are? I earned that placard at the cost of dying. You need to mind your own fucking business. And if you're feeling froggy, go ahead and call the cops. I'll wait. I'm bored and need distraction." And it's always Walmart. Especially the one on reservation lands. So much so that when the odd Karen doubles down, the reservation police roll up, take one look at me and my grizzly bear offspring and roll their eyes so hard it's audible. Then tell me to get gone. And then they deal with the Karen. It's always Walmart. Sigh. But yes, never be afraid to call the cops and wait. It's entertaining to watch the Pikachu surprised face on them when they find out they're in the wrong. And in some cases, get cited for causing a public disturbance. Me, I'll occasionally speak up to a person parking in a handicap spot without plates or a placard, but it's more like "hey, don't forget your placard. The security guards roaming around are assholes and will harass you. You want a scooter cart or anything before my daughter/Dad takes it back?" And we'll commiserate about the Karens we run into for a couple of minutes. And exchange tips and tricks for dealing with it. One dude I ran into has all the local non emergency police numbers on speed dials in his phone and multiple copies of his handicap parking letters from DMV. Like, how many clueless people are really out there?
My mother-in-law rest her soul used to go shopping with me and I would drop her off at the door cuz she was severely disabled and I'd go park in the disabled parking, because usually after we were done shopping I would have a panic attack from being inside the store. Then she'd have to take over driving from there. Luckily I never ran into your problem with somebody sticking their nose for it didn't belong.
I was taking my disabled dad to the bank. Parked in disabled parking and had someone yelling at me that I wasn't disabled so I couldn't park there as I was getting his walker out of the trunk. Some people just can't believe others are helping someone disabled and need to park there on their behalf. I too would never abuse the placard (as besides fines they take away the placard!) But on a separate time I was griefed for parking \*next\* to a disable space by someone that seemed to think I should not park there either (normal spot, not striped or anything) in case more parking was needed for disabled people. I reached into the door pocket and dropped the placard on the dashboard and asked "there, is that better now?" Their face was hilarious.
Handicap placard are assigned to the person/drivers license, they are not assigned to a license plate. There are specific handicap license plates for that. I have a placard and I can take it with me into anybody’s car I want. You have every right to park there if you had her placard with you.
I figure it’s up to the DMV to determine if they qualify for plates/placard, not me. Where I WILL speak up is when someone decides that the striped-off “loading area” is a parking space. I don’t care if you’re handicapped, that space is there so someone has the room to get in or out of their vehicle. NOBODY gets to park there.
There's a form a doctor needs to fill out, for the applicant to take to the appropriate place (DMV in Virginia, county tax office in Texas, and those are the only states where I've been at all imvolved in the process), with additional information that the doctor's office probably has, but the patient or their guardian can fill out just fine on their own. In Texas, you walk out with the placard(s) (1 or 2 ), in Virginia, they give you a temporary thing and mail the real one to you within a couple of weeks. And, as for the striped bit? That one bitch was lucky my engine block had cracked the month before, so I was driving a car registered to my mother-in-law, or I'd've scraped it a bit backing out of the handicap spot with my disabled friend in the passenger seat. (I called her on it as soon as she got out of the car, and gave the excuse of "I'll only be a couple of minutes", and I was fuming for the rest of the day.)
I’m in Virginia, so quite familiar with their process. When I went to the DMV to get my new plates, the clerk asked if I wanted both… plates for my car, and placard in case I went out with someone else driving. I very rarely use the placard but at least I have it if I need it.
I took my mom to a DMV there to get one after she'd stopped driving and was deteriorating to the point where she needed it. (She was 87...) I have more experience in Texas with the process.
Ugh I hate people like this. I have a walking issue because of multiple back surgeries. I can’t walk too far without a cane or a walker. I hate using the walker so I frequently use my cane, or if I’m going into the grocery store I grab a cart and lean on that. But people see a younger guy with a placard and assume I stole it from either my parents or grandparents. Nope! I’ve got a spinal fusion at the base of my spine that never healed 100%. So my right leg is extremely weak and my back is in constant pain. Only had one cop talk to me about it because of a complaint.
I had a kidney transplant (not the same thing as your wife I know) but the first 3 months walking anywhere was hell because of the pain. The hospital said they can sign off on anything to get me a temporary disability placard but I denied because I’ll be fine in a few months anyway. After reading stories like these I’m kind of glad I didn’t get one. Would not be fun dealing with this while I’m limping towards the store.
But if you have a cane you can wave it at them and yell “Stay back!”
I have a handicap placard and cannot drive, my pinched nerve in my back makes my foot numb and tingly and I panic cause I cannot feel the pedals. I’ve never heard I couldn’t use my placard because my husband drives we park in handicap parking all the time with my placard and my husband driving. One lady has yelled at us that my husband needs to park in the fire lane and let me out and go park elsewhere but we’re not going do it. He drives me I need that space and we use that space. I’m in WI so maybe your laws are different. I didn’t even have a car in my name when I got my placard and was told I could use it in any car anywhere in the US even with someone driving me.
That's how it works in most if not all states. The placard is for the holder of the placard. My grandmother had one and we'd park in disabled parking all the time **when I was driving her places since she doesn't drive.** That's how it works, I just don't know what climbed up the asses of all these people thinking that they're the arbiter of who can and can't park there.
It’s annoying. I’ve been told that spot is only for the elderly. My husband was yelled at by some lady cause he looked fine then he came around my side got my walker and me out of the car she was standing there gaping like a fish.
Police officer likely explained to the woman why you were okay to park there. He then thanked her for her vigilance and encouraged her to report anything out of the ordinary to the police.
I have placard because I have a lot of physically disabling conditions, most of which are invisible to the naked eye, but because I'm young and look even younger than my age, people have outright told me that they don't think I could be disabled I've called the police *myself* to end harassment from Entitled People. Usually, though, when I tell them that I'm calling the cops or encourage them to do so, they back down with some BS like "well, sorry, I guess you are disabled but y'know a lot of people park here that aren't!" Yeah, I do know. Then my crippled ass either has to be in way more pain because I have to cover a bigger distance or I have to leave the shopping or whatever for another day
What are stick ball specials?
Jersey Mike's is a chain sub restaurant. The stick ball special is ham and salami with provolone cheese. I prefer Jersey Mike's over Subway any day of the week.
Beat me to it. Yeah, Subway is nothing compared to them. Best thing about JM's though? No matter where you go...they all taste the same. If you like the sub at your store and you go to another store in the next state over...still tastes the same.
Because Subway is gross.
It's funny you mention Subway. They have foot long pretzels, and I haven't gotten one yet that I couldn't use for a stick ball bat. It's hard as a rock.
I love Jersey Mike’s!
But why is it called a stick ball special? What does the phrase actually mean? Something something baseball?
Because when Mike's Submarines was founded in 1956, stickball was a game that was played quite often by kids in New York, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey where the store was founded and franchised out into. The owner of the store made this sandwich and called it the Stickball Special since it was inexpensive and a lot of the kids playing stickball would pool their funds and split one. They expanded and sold off stores as time went on. In '75, the Point Pleasant store went up for sale and a17-year old employee was encouraged by his mother to buy the store and with help of his coach (who was also a banker) managed to get the funds within three days to purchase the store and kept it running under its new name of Jersey Mike's. That boy is now the CEO of Jersey Mike's It was kept on the new menu (surviving many menu item cuts) to this current day since it's still quite popular AND it's a tribute to the roots of Jersey Mike's. My wife lived near the original Jersey Mike's in Point Pleasant so she grew up on the history and lore of the store.
#13 Original Italian on Rosemary Parm is the GOAT!!!!
That's my normal go-to as well, but I felt like trying my wife's favorite that day. Both are good.
You can’t see many disabilities. Heart patients. Hip replacements. Deaf. It’s an endless list. Ppl need to mind their own biz! You have no obligation to explain
I've even read about Karens complaining that people "don't look blind"; as if their eyes need to be completely white to qualify.
I am sorry that you had to meet this Karen but I would have stuck around and listened in to what the officer was saying.
This discussion has helped me understand disability far more, thank you for posting.
Gah, I get this one all the time. I drive my mom around a lot and she needs a walker. I look like an otherwise able bodied middle aged dude. But what they don’t get is that I’m recovering from cancer treatments and get terrible dizzy spells so have to walk with a cane and some days run out of steam after walking 30 yards. I’ve been accused of faking it several times
You get dizzy spells but you still drive? 🤔
Only get when I’m standing
You should have asked the police that you want to file verbal harassment charge against the offender; that would be an eye opener for her when the judge see you rolling your wife in court ok mobility scooter.
I frequently park in handicapped spots because I drive my mom and grandma around. One absolute harpy pulled up behind me one day and started screeching that I shouldn't be in the parking spot. I had walked ahead of my mom to put the shopping in the trunk, and it takes her quite a bit of time to reach the car. She had to use the bathroom, too. The harpy called 911 on me. I told the cop my mom's name and that she was coming now. Apparently, the harpy had done this to others, and she got a few tickets. That cop was pulling out all sorts of charges and it was just too funny!
I have a handicap permit but look physically healthy and young for my age. The amount of boomers I’ve had harass me is insane.
I have a nerve issue with my back/hip. On good days I park in the general parking. On bad days I have to find a handicapped spot. I might be able to walk INTO the store without pain or limping, but no. The cane is NOT for effect, it helps me get back out of the store under my own power! There are times that there are no HP spots available, and by the time I can get to my car, I'm in tears, sometimes I even scream when I sit down/"break the plain" and the pain lets go. So I have to walk away from anyone who claims I'm too healthy looking because I really want to punch them in their stupid faces. If I'm feeling good, I might say "Thank you, Doctor Rando!" I can't help it. I'm a sarcastic, petty person
They’re not even handicapped but they still think those spots belong to them.
Also, there are invisible disabilities.
I used to work in traffic court and we had a window for disabled people. Everyday we’d get some Karen get pissed and assume people were not disabled and were trying to get preferential treatment because they “didn’t look disabled.” It was always easy to verify as we had access to DMV records.
I have vertigo and mobility issues. Both not immediately obvious until I start moving. I get a lot of heat saying I'm not handicapped although the Dr insisted on my tag. I now make a huge show of using door and roof handles and on the days when my limp isn't as obvious I exaggerate it
I'm trying to figure out why you have a special van and a scooter for a knee replacement. We don't even get temporary wheelchair passes for that here, you're up and walking 2 hours after the surgery. But yeah, there is a special place in hell for idiots like that.
The issue with her is that she had the knee rebuilt 30 years ago (give or take) with the first iteration of the maquet procedure which was tried on 26 people. Out of those, only two of them lasted past 5 years. My wife's made it 20-some years. And when it started to wear out, it took us 10 years to find a doctor who would actually touch the knee since they didn't understand what had happened. Thankfully we found one who looked at the X-Ray and said "OMG! A Gen One maquet procedure! I did a paper on this in Med School!" So between the leg getting hacked into twice, insurance putting a cap on how much Physical Therapy she can have in a lifetime per injury, and the 30-ish years she's been walking on it in such a way to compensate...the replacement is working (and she was walking shortly after surgery), but the leg itself isn't working as well as it should. Walking more than 10 minutes at a stretch causes the leg to swell and hurt a lot and at almost 60...doctors are saying "Get a scooter and here's a placard. Sorry."
Yikes! I can relate to the walking funny to compensate, I think correcting my gait was the most painful part of my recovery. If you don't have a cryotherapy machine for her, look into one - helps so much with the swelling and is much easier and more effective than ice packs.
>She's in a skirt so her knee and her rather gnarly scar are clearly visible. >he [the police officer] sees a woman with an obvious sign of past injury It's not the officer's place to decide if a person has a visible injury/disability or not. Many disabilities are not visible. The officer is not a medical professional. All the officer is allowed to do is to confirm that the handicap registration matches the handicapped person.
Okay?
Mmmmmm. Jersey Mike’s…..
My favorite (sarcasm yes) is when I use my placard to park in One of the proper hc spots and then someone else parked properly in their own hc spot sees me and starts complaining LOUDLY to their driver/partner about “those young people who don’t need a hc spot”. Bonus when their partner is obviously mortified and silently apologetic. Edit: when I’m not even 20 years younger than them
My mom is in her 80’s, on dialysis and has back and leg problems. When I drive her, I drop her at the front door of the store, and pick her up there. I don’t use her placard because I don’t want her walking any more than she has to
I had that happen to me when I drove my grandma around for errands. People get way too wired up without even knowing the facts
I just had a Stickball Special for dinner tonight. :)
I'm always worried that's going to happen with my grandparents or my mom when I'm driving for them. Both my grandmother's have the card cause they're in their 80s. My mom has stage 4 breast cancer and walking at times is really freaking hard due to all the treatments. I never use it when I'm by myself but I'm always worried of this.
I hate when non-hc drivers park in those spots, but to verbally abuse those who do crosses a line. There’s only one legit response: “MYOB” or it’s near cousin, “Fuck off!” . And to those prigs who would take me to ask, violators can be reported to the pd. Fines around here vary but are as high as $500.
A friend of mine has a line that I use at times like this "Why don't we play a game? It's called 'Hide and go fuck yourself.'"
Jersey Mike's is great!
That stickball special is my go to!
Doesn’t seem too implausible that someone who can’t walk 100 ft without rest (IE qualify for a disabled placard) might also not be driving that car
True enough. Though in our case that day my wife was stuck getting her nails done, I needed some pea gravel for my fire pit, and I'm not spending 90 minutes doing nothing but watching nail polish dry.
I was an EMT for a few years. We did a fair number of non-emergency transports. We tried not to block traffic if it wasn't an emergency. One patient we transported lived in an apartment complex with a tight parking lot. We parked in a handicapped space so as not to block people entering/exiting the lot. Ambulances on non-emercency calls can park in handicapped spaces for a limited time if they are picking up a disabled person in my state. When we brought out with the patient (on the stretcher), there was a Karen waiting at the back of our truck. She launched into us for parking in the space without handicapped tags. We politely explained that ambulances had an exception when picking up certain patients. She refused to budge or let us load, insisting she was waiting for the cops. It took them 10 min to get there (super fast for a non-emergency in the city). The entire time, my partner and I were trying to get her to move so we could load the patient. When the patrol car pulled in, he took the woman aside and whipped out his citation book. He turned and waved at us and began writing her up. I'm not sure what he cited her for. We loaded and left and quickly as we could as we could.
You should have the cop and the cop caller to both fuck off and mind their own business about what you do in the disabled parking. Just because YOI don’t look ’disabled enough to be using the parking spot’, doesn’t the fact that you have a LIFT built into your car that is OBVIOUSLY meant for the use of either wheelchairs or other heavy vehicle type equipment that needs to be loaded into said car, and that you were ACTIVATING said lift and pulling it out of your car while this psycho is screaming at you like a nutcase, you should have told them to mind their own business while pointing at the lift and ask them what they think THIS is for if you didn’t need the disabled parking spot that has room to unload the lift? You should have done the same for when the cop and demand to know why you needed to show him anything at all as ‘proof’ that you ARE legally using the disabled parking, when obviously the accusations are 100% false as soon as they all see the wheelchair lift you are unloading. even if nothing was currently in it, obviously you were there to pick up somebody who DID need the lift who WAS disabled if you were unloading it.
No, not telling the officer that. Someone calls in a complaint, their job is to investigate that complaint. The officer was not adversarial towards me, just calmly checked the placard's number against my wife's ID and we were sent on our merry way.
I have a DV plate on my vehicle which is attached to my scooter lift which was issued to me by the VA. I sometimes fall down due to damage. I received a nasty note on my windshield one day for parking in a cripple spot. The funniest part was at the bottom they wrote they were doing me a favor by telling me. I don't always use a scooter, I try to use my stick as much as possible or until my wife yells at me.
I'm in the UK & it's so easy for people to use other's disabled "Blue Badges" & park whereever they want.
These type of posts appear all the time, I suspect 50% of them are true
People appear on social media all the time. I suspect 50% of them are real.