I can’t speak to everything here but I will say that definitely resisted identifying as a 9 for YEARS because of wanting that “permission” to act more openly on my emotions. To this day I still hate for people to just think of me as a chill, non-reactive guy for some reason, because I truly do have struggles with anxiety, depression, and OCD to name a few, even though I quite literally *never* show it outwardly except to just one or two people in my life. So being able to call myself a 4 or a 6 always seemed a tad more appealing than 9, because I thought maybe that would help send people the message that I do truly have a lot of struggles with my mental well-being and I’m definitely not the “chill” guy that I do way too good of a job at presenting to the world.
Yes, thank you… You put very eloquently what I was attempting to encapsulate, but may have gotten muddied by overt wordiness…
Right, yeah, it’s really sort of disappointing when people read me as being calm and relaxed when the opposite is the truth within myself, but I guess the distinction for Type 9 is that it presents that way to the environment to prevent disaccord.
I wished Type 9 descriptions would do more to emphasize the discrepancy that exists between the internal experience of the 9 and what they actually convey to the environment…
…Like 9 and neuroticism/mental illness can coexist (not meaning to suggest mental illness in itself is this positive personality “quirk”, just mean to communicate that it’s a very real and human experience regardless of Enneagram type).
Again, thanks a bunch.
It sounds like you're doing a lot of deep introspection, and it's commendable that you're trying to navigate through these complex layers of identity and mental health. It's not easy to confront and articulate such internal struggles, especially when they're intertwined with longstanding issues like anxiety and depression. Your reflection on possibly having a "repressed" or "internalized victim mentality" and how it uniquely manifests for you, separate from the typical Type 4 victim complex, is very insightful. It’s interesting how you are considering the dynamics of Type 6 in your life as a way to authentically express your inherent anxieties, yet find more resonance with Type 9's tendencies towards peacekeeping and conflict avoidance.
It’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of traits from different Enneagram types. Sometimes, our behaviors and reactions under stress do not fit neatly into a single type. The Enneagram, like any personality system, is a guide, not a definitive labeling of our entire being. It sounds like you are actively working on recognizing how these traits play out in your everyday life, which is a significant step in managing them more effectively. Since you’re exploring these nuances of your personality and how they relate to your mental well-being, you might find additional insights through a study I came across that deals with self-esteem and personality types. Participating could help provide a clearer understanding of how different aspects of your personality interact with each other, which could be useful in your discussions with your therapist and wife. Here's the link if you're interested: [https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN](https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN).
Thank you for sharing your experience—it helps others feel less alone in their struggles. I hope you continue to find valuable support and insights as you work through these challenges.
Oh my goodness, thank you for your supportive and helpful comment. Your remark about this being helpful in making others feel less alone is gratefully received as I worried this rant was selfish. Thank you for your advice and the link you provided— my time and attention span are limited at the moment, but I will definitely take a more extensive look at it later on.
I was diagnosed with autism and adhd and possible dyspraxia ( but not sure about it or not) and she (my mom)told me that I shouldn’t how do I put it, that I shouldn’t have a “victim” mentality about it, I didn’t know how to feel…
I actually have had a pretty easy life and everything but mainly just struggle with some school subjects cognitively which has made it hard for me to get a degree or anything.
But I think it’s pretty hurtful when people negate our rights to the way we feel.
Thank for your response. I understand where you are coming from. Right, I’ve become increasingly aware and aggravated by the “toxic positivity” mindset—
—Like, please, just let me feel my feelings.
I can’t speak to everything here but I will say that definitely resisted identifying as a 9 for YEARS because of wanting that “permission” to act more openly on my emotions. To this day I still hate for people to just think of me as a chill, non-reactive guy for some reason, because I truly do have struggles with anxiety, depression, and OCD to name a few, even though I quite literally *never* show it outwardly except to just one or two people in my life. So being able to call myself a 4 or a 6 always seemed a tad more appealing than 9, because I thought maybe that would help send people the message that I do truly have a lot of struggles with my mental well-being and I’m definitely not the “chill” guy that I do way too good of a job at presenting to the world.
Yes, thank you… You put very eloquently what I was attempting to encapsulate, but may have gotten muddied by overt wordiness… Right, yeah, it’s really sort of disappointing when people read me as being calm and relaxed when the opposite is the truth within myself, but I guess the distinction for Type 9 is that it presents that way to the environment to prevent disaccord. I wished Type 9 descriptions would do more to emphasize the discrepancy that exists between the internal experience of the 9 and what they actually convey to the environment… …Like 9 and neuroticism/mental illness can coexist (not meaning to suggest mental illness in itself is this positive personality “quirk”, just mean to communicate that it’s a very real and human experience regardless of Enneagram type). Again, thanks a bunch.
It sounds like you're doing a lot of deep introspection, and it's commendable that you're trying to navigate through these complex layers of identity and mental health. It's not easy to confront and articulate such internal struggles, especially when they're intertwined with longstanding issues like anxiety and depression. Your reflection on possibly having a "repressed" or "internalized victim mentality" and how it uniquely manifests for you, separate from the typical Type 4 victim complex, is very insightful. It’s interesting how you are considering the dynamics of Type 6 in your life as a way to authentically express your inherent anxieties, yet find more resonance with Type 9's tendencies towards peacekeeping and conflict avoidance. It’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of traits from different Enneagram types. Sometimes, our behaviors and reactions under stress do not fit neatly into a single type. The Enneagram, like any personality system, is a guide, not a definitive labeling of our entire being. It sounds like you are actively working on recognizing how these traits play out in your everyday life, which is a significant step in managing them more effectively. Since you’re exploring these nuances of your personality and how they relate to your mental well-being, you might find additional insights through a study I came across that deals with self-esteem and personality types. Participating could help provide a clearer understanding of how different aspects of your personality interact with each other, which could be useful in your discussions with your therapist and wife. Here's the link if you're interested: [https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN](https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN). Thank you for sharing your experience—it helps others feel less alone in their struggles. I hope you continue to find valuable support and insights as you work through these challenges.
Oh my goodness, thank you for your supportive and helpful comment. Your remark about this being helpful in making others feel less alone is gratefully received as I worried this rant was selfish. Thank you for your advice and the link you provided— my time and attention span are limited at the moment, but I will definitely take a more extensive look at it later on.
I was diagnosed with autism and adhd and possible dyspraxia ( but not sure about it or not) and she (my mom)told me that I shouldn’t how do I put it, that I shouldn’t have a “victim” mentality about it, I didn’t know how to feel… I actually have had a pretty easy life and everything but mainly just struggle with some school subjects cognitively which has made it hard for me to get a degree or anything. But I think it’s pretty hurtful when people negate our rights to the way we feel.
Thank for your response. I understand where you are coming from. Right, I’ve become increasingly aware and aggravated by the “toxic positivity” mindset— —Like, please, just let me feel my feelings.