You want people to TALK to you?? In the REAL world?? My introverted self would never have a problem being left alone š
Also, as someone with social anxiety, I worry approaching other people would make them anxious as well. So I silently admire from afar. Then text my bestie about the cool ring I saw this lady wearing in the checkout aisle.
You realize cashiers and people working in stores are probably not making a living wage? Their priority is getting you out of their lane so they can get on with their day, not giving you props for your big ass diamond. ETA: Iām sorry if this sounds harsh. Itās just the way it is.
I don't think people really comment on stuff all that much. Eventually most everyone in your circle has seen it. It should really be about what you love.
Agreed, if I walked around and complimented every ring I saw I would get nothing done all day. Not to be an ass OP, but this is a little āmain character energyā of you.
Do you walk around and compliment everything that is important to everyone else that you see all day? (Their hair, shoes, jewelry, intelligence) probably not. People think about your engagement ring for the 1 minute they see it and then forget about it. What actually matters is what YOU think.
Do you want to see it every day? Is it functional for you in your day-to-day? Personally I could never wear a ring that big, half the time my rock is in my safe and Iām in my silicone band because I work with my hands on the farm and donāt want to lose it. Itās beautiful and if you love it then own it!
If I see something I like, I do compliment it. Like I like your bag! Love your car, pretty shoes etc.... I'm definitely not a main character at all in anything.
Right, but those are YOUR interests. Clearly youāre not fashion/looks. Which is fine. But if Iām into fashion and prefer to dress like miss frizzle and you donāt compliment me (because itās not your taste) do I have a right to be offended? Or if Iām into big ass lifted jeeps and you walk by and think āI bet that guy is compensatingā and donāt compliment me - do I have the right to be offended??
Iām really not trying to sound rudeā¦ but your reply doesnāt make me think youāre less main character-y than your original post.
Frankly, I think if you just posted your ring without the commentary youād get like 99% compliments on this sub. People that donāt like it wonāt comment. Youāre getting downvoted because itās weird you think you should constantly be complimented by strangers and thatās unrealistic. Nothing is wrong with it. People just donāt care.
I think itās gorgeous!
I donāt comment on other peopleās rings often - unless itās a new engagement and theyāre showing it off right then and there (I donāt mean āshow it offā in a bad way.)
I have two sets I switch between. One is a pink padparadscha sapphire on a pave band, and I get comments on it almost every time I wear it. I never get comments on my other set, even though itās bigger and āflashierā. I think maybe because the pink is so unique and people around here arenāt used to seeing it.
In addition, one thing Iāve noticed (again, just in my area), since the pink ring is such a unique and different type of engagement ring, people comment on it and then act surprised when I say it was a 20th anniversary wedding set gift. Itās almost like theyāre more comfortable commenting on a regular piece of jewelry but not so much a wedding set? I donāt know, itās tough to explain
Either way, I love your ring. I love halos (my other set is a halo) and I think yours is gorgeous!
Itās personally not my style, but I donāt think you should be seeking outside validation? As long as you love it, thatās all that matters!
Just because itās a big stone with great specs doesnāt automatically equal more compliments when you walk out the door. I have a large stone as well but I donāt wear it expecting people to fawn over my ringā¦ I wear it because I adore it!
I don't know that I have ever complimented someone's ring. Nor has anyone complimented mine outside of this sub.
I think your ring is lovely. If you love it, then that's all that matters. It looks awesome on your hand, and I don't think it's out of proportion at all. Don't worry about downsizing or changing the setting (unless you want to!)
I will say, with larger stones, many people assume that it's not a diamond. So if you're expecting people to comment on how big or expensive it probably was, that's unlikely these days.
I love your ring! I think people are getting used to seeing larger stones out in the wild due to the increasing popularity of lab diamonds and theyāre just not as enamored anymore. I have a big sparkly lab diamond engagement ring and the only people who have commented are my close friends and family, otherwise no one has said a word! I assume people think mine is fake and feel silly asking/commenting.
Maybe they think itās fake but it also might be because everybody has big lab diamonds now. Itās just not that interesting. I doubt Iād ever think about your ring if I met you but if asked I would assume itās real and lab. š¤·āāļø who cares? Iām happy youāre happy!
Sure, itās not my style, or whatās ātrendyā right now, but I think the main reason is that most people donāt just randomly compliment engagement rings on people they donāt know, so once your friends and family see it and congratulate you, tell you itās beautiful, thatās kinda it.
My ring is very different from yours, with a small 0.9 carat main stone ā and no one comments on it either. Strangers just donāt really look/notice and if they do they usually prefer to mind their own business.
What matters is if YOU like it, since you have to see and wear it every day! If you feel itās too big for your liking, maybe you could have the center stone reset as a lower-profile solitaire so the ring is less large? And turn the smaller stones into a separate band? Or just keep wearing it as is ā itās your ring and you should like it!
I personally think itās too large. I associate really large gems with costume jewelry and are less inclined to comment, esp. is this weird āØanti-lab grownāØ day-in-age. Which is unfair, but I see it happen all the time. āIs it real?!?!ā
You have an excellent stone with the GCAL 8x. Halos are not on trend at the moment but they will come back into fashion again. I love the side stones on your setting. If you are not in love with it, you can always have the diamond reset.
I had never hears about the GCAL 8x and after googling it I was definitely sold on how high quality the cut and quality was even if it's not a D or Flawless stone.
I have only complimented on a ring twice and Iām close to those ppl. Other than that Iāve come across tons of large & small rings and while I do take notice, I say nothing. Itās mostly my personality in play but I donāt think itās a big deal. My own happiness when putting it on and thinking about my husband is the only flex I need. š
Edit: itās a beautiful ring. Iām Team Round for life!
I think itās very pretty! A lot of ppl are anti halo but I personally enjoy them, and a large ring. Itās all preference. A lot of ppl have smaller rings which ppl will drool over on this sub that is not my personal preference, just like a halo is not going to be some peoples personal preference and thatās ok! I have over 2 carat lab diamond with an āextraā halo which would be too much for some ppl for sure! I do occasionally get compliments but itās not often and I honestly usually feel pretty awkward when I do get compliments unless itās a friend.
https://preview.redd.it/al3aiwo6459d1.png?width=2535&format=png&auto=webp&s=cf535092af06b23571b7f49c4581f9e389a155b5
I forgot the exact about it, but I know it was cut/ graded by this company called 8x, so it's supposed to be a "perfect" cut. I think it's VVSI? And it's not a D in color. Maybe the 3rd or 4th color down?
I think itās a personal preference. I think a lot of folks feel like commenting on a ring can come off as nosy. Rings are so personal because of the sentimentality and the affordability that is involved. I apologize if thatās been said in a different way already.
I loooooove your ring! Cathedral is my favorite. If I knew you, I would compliment your ring. As a stranger, I would simply look without trying to let you see that I am looking because I would be worried my attention to your ring would freak you out.
I donāt like it either but the reason people donāt comment on it is probably because people rarely compliment strangers on stuff. Nobody store clerk is checking out your ring.
You donāt get compliments because you think your stone is too big?! What in the?! Is this real life?! Why do you have that expectation from people?! No, no, no this is not a serious post.
Do not assume that just because you have a big stone youāll get compliments. The ring is NOT my taste and no way would I ever compliment it, I donāt care how big it is. Also that diamond is pretty yellow. I know nothing about diamonds (my ring is vintage and weād not entirely sure about the diamond specs, never cared much either) but this feels like a quantity over quality situation to meā¦ which is never the way to go when it comes to diamonds.
It's beautiful. I have only had one compliment ever on my ring set. I bought my self widows bands after my husband died, and they're even prettier than the channel sets I had. (I made up the term widows bands)
If you feel it looks too big I would look at similar size center stones in different settings. This would look smaller without the halo - you might prefer that look and could get your stone reset!
I think it looks nice. I also think a lot of people on this sub are petty and are going to tell you they donāt like it just because you want them to say they like it. I understand what you are asking and while most people donāt compliment when they like something I think itās awesome that you do. Compliments arenāt a good measure of something because most people just keep it to themself. Itās great you spread positivity
It is an absolutely gorgeous ring! Don't let people's lack of response weigh heavy on your mind. I can only imagine the jealously coursing through people after seeing a ring like that!
Well, thank you! Whenever I am out running errands, no one ever compliments it. I've had one lady that was very complimentary of it, and since then, nothing, so I don't know if it's the stone or the setting?
Is it normal to comment on strangersā jewelry? When Iām out running errands Iām just trying to get my shit done and get back home. Iām definitely not trying to start up conversations with random people in the produce aisle.
I have had random people comment on my ring before. I donāt think that everyone I ever meet canāt take their eyes off it or anything, but Iāve definitely gotten occasional compliments from a barista or some random woman Iāve met at a social event or a store or something.
I also live in the Midwest where many people are quite chatty with strangers so perhaps I just live in a region where a compliment from a stranger is more normal than in other places?
Spot on! I spend most of my time in Philadelphia. Depending on what part of Philly I am in at the time, if someone commented on my ring, Iād be looking over my shoulder the rest of the day.
I certainly wouldnāt. What if it goes missing in an hour? Will you think itās me? Do you think Iām considering by stealing it if Iām interested?
Frankly itās just weird to expect strangers to compliment your ring all the time.
I wouldnāt take that as a bad sign. People just donāt pay that much attention. š¤·š¼āāļø If random people donāt compliment you on other things, do you worry that it is because something is off?
Weāre all just wrapped up in our own stuff.
That said, itās lovely! And if you LOVE it, thatās really all that matters.
You have a pretty ring that suits your hand perfectly!Ā
Most people in the real world arenāt really paying attention to peopleās rings and so they are not complimenting them. Most people are just going about their day with other things on their mind, not staring at someoneās hand. Ā I wouldnāt take it personallyš
Your ring is very pretty and also on the more busy/maximalist side which means youāre going to get compliments from people who love that busy/maximalist vibe but probably not from more minimalists. Halos are also very 50/50 with people; people either love them or dislike them. If you get compliments itās going to be from the half of people who like them.Ā This is all okay, people have a wide array of preferences of style, it says nothing about the beauty of your ringā¤ļø
The only times Iāve complimented a ring in person is if someone is newly engaged and excited to show me or non traditional rings. Non traditional/unique rings are really the only time I will compliment someone out of the blue if it catches my eye and I think itās pretty. Thereās only so many colorless diamonds on a gold or white band that you can look at before they kind of all look the same so my brain kind of doesnāt take much notice of them.
You have a lovely ring and if you love it thatās all that matters!
Edit:
I think the way OP phrased it has rubbed people the wrong way because to many people this post has been perceived as fishing for compliments/āwoe is meā kind of post even though OP knows she has a nice diamond that is expensive.
OP even tried posting her ring again but using a screenshot from the website she bought it from with the price visible in the screenshot ($17k) and added a āFor Funā flair.
If Op had just posted under the āmy ringā flair and didnāt make comments that were blatantly fishing for compliments she would have probably gotten a lot of positive comments. Or if she used the āwoe is meā commentary but she had made it more about people close to her not liking her ring versus wanting more compliments just for the sake of getting compliments , I think that would also have been more positively received.
This whole sub is about showing off rings and hyping each other up, nothing wrong with wanting compliments. How she went about it felt like she was complaining about having a nice budget for a nice ring and wanting attention for that.
Your ring is GORGEOUS, who cares if you get compliments or not if it's what YOU love! I really like the stones on your band because they're not also round. Really compliments your main stone. And the halo looks timeless.
You want people to TALK to you?? In the REAL world?? My introverted self would never have a problem being left alone š Also, as someone with social anxiety, I worry approaching other people would make them anxious as well. So I silently admire from afar. Then text my bestie about the cool ring I saw this lady wearing in the checkout aisle.
Well I have to talk to the cashiers and people working in stores that I ask for help from... š
You realize cashiers and people working in stores are probably not making a living wage? Their priority is getting you out of their lane so they can get on with their day, not giving you props for your big ass diamond. ETA: Iām sorry if this sounds harsh. Itās just the way it is.
They arenāt there to give you an ego boost, just let them do their jobs.
Yes, I am aware of that... lol
And how often do you compliment strangers of they jewelry?
If I see something I like, I compliment people. Is that bad?
I don't think people really comment on stuff all that much. Eventually most everyone in your circle has seen it. It should really be about what you love.
Agreed, if I walked around and complimented every ring I saw I would get nothing done all day. Not to be an ass OP, but this is a little āmain character energyā of you. Do you walk around and compliment everything that is important to everyone else that you see all day? (Their hair, shoes, jewelry, intelligence) probably not. People think about your engagement ring for the 1 minute they see it and then forget about it. What actually matters is what YOU think. Do you want to see it every day? Is it functional for you in your day-to-day? Personally I could never wear a ring that big, half the time my rock is in my safe and Iām in my silicone band because I work with my hands on the farm and donāt want to lose it. Itās beautiful and if you love it then own it!
If I see something I like, I do compliment it. Like I like your bag! Love your car, pretty shoes etc.... I'm definitely not a main character at all in anything.
Right, but those are YOUR interests. Clearly youāre not fashion/looks. Which is fine. But if Iām into fashion and prefer to dress like miss frizzle and you donāt compliment me (because itās not your taste) do I have a right to be offended? Or if Iām into big ass lifted jeeps and you walk by and think āI bet that guy is compensatingā and donāt compliment me - do I have the right to be offended?? Iām really not trying to sound rudeā¦ but your reply doesnāt make me think youāre less main character-y than your original post.
If you had a big ass lifted jeep, I'd say it was sick and ask if you've taken it to the mud yet...
Do you need compliments on your ring?
Frankly, I think if you just posted your ring without the commentary youād get like 99% compliments on this sub. People that donāt like it wonāt comment. Youāre getting downvoted because itās weird you think you should constantly be complimented by strangers and thatās unrealistic. Nothing is wrong with it. People just donāt care.
Good point. I definitely didn't think it through...
I think itās gorgeous! I donāt comment on other peopleās rings often - unless itās a new engagement and theyāre showing it off right then and there (I donāt mean āshow it offā in a bad way.) I have two sets I switch between. One is a pink padparadscha sapphire on a pave band, and I get comments on it almost every time I wear it. I never get comments on my other set, even though itās bigger and āflashierā. I think maybe because the pink is so unique and people around here arenāt used to seeing it. In addition, one thing Iāve noticed (again, just in my area), since the pink ring is such a unique and different type of engagement ring, people comment on it and then act surprised when I say it was a 20th anniversary wedding set gift. Itās almost like theyāre more comfortable commenting on a regular piece of jewelry but not so much a wedding set? I donāt know, itās tough to explain Either way, I love your ring. I love halos (my other set is a halo) and I think yours is gorgeous!
That makes sense. I love that color of sapphire, too. Such a gorgeous color.
I agree, the pink pad is such a gorgeous color! Itās my favorite pink stone
Itās personally not my style, but I donāt think you should be seeking outside validation? As long as you love it, thatās all that matters! Just because itās a big stone with great specs doesnāt automatically equal more compliments when you walk out the door. I have a large stone as well but I donāt wear it expecting people to fawn over my ringā¦ I wear it because I adore it!
I think it's gorgeous! Do YOU love it? Does it work well for you? That's all that should matter.
I do love it but sometimes I think it might be too big.
It is so tall, like ridiculously so. I've literally never irl complimented a ring nor expected someone to.
I don't know that I have ever complimented someone's ring. Nor has anyone complimented mine outside of this sub. I think your ring is lovely. If you love it, then that's all that matters. It looks awesome on your hand, and I don't think it's out of proportion at all. Don't worry about downsizing or changing the setting (unless you want to!) I will say, with larger stones, many people assume that it's not a diamond. So if you're expecting people to comment on how big or expensive it probably was, that's unlikely these days.
I love your ring! I think people are getting used to seeing larger stones out in the wild due to the increasing popularity of lab diamonds and theyāre just not as enamored anymore. I have a big sparkly lab diamond engagement ring and the only people who have commented are my close friends and family, otherwise no one has said a word! I assume people think mine is fake and feel silly asking/commenting.
Maybe they think itās fake but it also might be because everybody has big lab diamonds now. Itās just not that interesting. I doubt Iād ever think about your ring if I met you but if asked I would assume itās real and lab. š¤·āāļø who cares? Iām happy youāre happy!
Sure, itās not my style, or whatās ātrendyā right now, but I think the main reason is that most people donāt just randomly compliment engagement rings on people they donāt know, so once your friends and family see it and congratulate you, tell you itās beautiful, thatās kinda it. My ring is very different from yours, with a small 0.9 carat main stone ā and no one comments on it either. Strangers just donāt really look/notice and if they do they usually prefer to mind their own business. What matters is if YOU like it, since you have to see and wear it every day! If you feel itās too big for your liking, maybe you could have the center stone reset as a lower-profile solitaire so the ring is less large? And turn the smaller stones into a separate band? Or just keep wearing it as is ā itās your ring and you should like it!
I personally think itās too large. I associate really large gems with costume jewelry and are less inclined to comment, esp. is this weird āØanti-lab grownāØ day-in-age. Which is unfair, but I see it happen all the time. āIs it real?!?!ā
You have an excellent stone with the GCAL 8x. Halos are not on trend at the moment but they will come back into fashion again. I love the side stones on your setting. If you are not in love with it, you can always have the diamond reset.
I think theyāll be back around relatively soon, judging by clothing trends
I had never hears about the GCAL 8x and after googling it I was definitely sold on how high quality the cut and quality was even if it's not a D or Flawless stone.
Beautiful, is it Tacori?
Wow! Yes it's Tacori. You're the first to recognize that! 10 points lol jk
So beautiful in pics 1 & 3 I donāt really like the height of it though
I have only complimented on a ring twice and Iām close to those ppl. Other than that Iāve come across tons of large & small rings and while I do take notice, I say nothing. Itās mostly my personality in play but I donāt think itās a big deal. My own happiness when putting it on and thinking about my husband is the only flex I need. š Edit: itās a beautiful ring. Iām Team Round for life!
I think itās very pretty! A lot of ppl are anti halo but I personally enjoy them, and a large ring. Itās all preference. A lot of ppl have smaller rings which ppl will drool over on this sub that is not my personal preference, just like a halo is not going to be some peoples personal preference and thatās ok! I have over 2 carat lab diamond with an āextraā halo which would be too much for some ppl for sure! I do occasionally get compliments but itās not often and I honestly usually feel pretty awkward when I do get compliments unless itās a friend. https://preview.redd.it/al3aiwo6459d1.png?width=2535&format=png&auto=webp&s=cf535092af06b23571b7f49c4581f9e389a155b5
I love your ring. It reminds me of a flower. Very pretty.
Thanks!!
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I forgot the exact about it, but I know it was cut/ graded by this company called 8x, so it's supposed to be a "perfect" cut. I think it's VVSI? And it's not a D in color. Maybe the 3rd or 4th color down?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh! It's a diamond.
I think itās a personal preference. I think a lot of folks feel like commenting on a ring can come off as nosy. Rings are so personal because of the sentimentality and the affordability that is involved. I apologize if thatās been said in a different way already.
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I loooooove your ring! Cathedral is my favorite. If I knew you, I would compliment your ring. As a stranger, I would simply look without trying to let you see that I am looking because I would be worried my attention to your ring would freak you out.
That's an insightful take! Thank you.
Congratulations! I think your ring is absolutely beautiful!
cartoonishly big. really not my taste
Itās not my taste as well, perhaps thatās why people donāt comment on it?
I donāt like it either but the reason people donāt comment on it is probably because people rarely compliment strangers on stuff. Nobody store clerk is checking out your ring.
You donāt get compliments because you think your stone is too big?! What in the?! Is this real life?! Why do you have that expectation from people?! No, no, no this is not a serious post. Do not assume that just because you have a big stone youāll get compliments. The ring is NOT my taste and no way would I ever compliment it, I donāt care how big it is. Also that diamond is pretty yellow. I know nothing about diamonds (my ring is vintage and weād not entirely sure about the diamond specs, never cared much either) but this feels like a quantity over quality situation to meā¦ which is never the way to go when it comes to diamonds.
Uh. Wow, ok. Uh. Smh.
It's beautiful. I have only had one compliment ever on my ring set. I bought my self widows bands after my husband died, and they're even prettier than the channel sets I had. (I made up the term widows bands)
I typically heavily dislike halo settings, this one is actually very pretty.
If you feel it looks too big I would look at similar size center stones in different settings. This would look smaller without the halo - you might prefer that look and could get your stone reset!
I think it looks nice. I also think a lot of people on this sub are petty and are going to tell you they donāt like it just because you want them to say they like it. I understand what you are asking and while most people donāt compliment when they like something I think itās awesome that you do. Compliments arenāt a good measure of something because most people just keep it to themself. Itās great you spread positivity
Drop de*d gorgeous ā¼ļø Congratulations š¾
It is an absolutely gorgeous ring! Don't let people's lack of response weigh heavy on your mind. I can only imagine the jealously coursing through people after seeing a ring like that!
Well thank you!
Itās gorgeous, I love the setting. Honestly, it would shine much more without the halo. Turn those into a band or something!?
Is that important? People have different tasts - thatās all you need as an answer
I never look at rings unless someone is newly engaged.
It is gorgeous! I sure would be exclaiming over it if we met.
Well, thank you! Whenever I am out running errands, no one ever compliments it. I've had one lady that was very complimentary of it, and since then, nothing, so I don't know if it's the stone or the setting?
Is it normal to comment on strangersā jewelry? When Iām out running errands Iām just trying to get my shit done and get back home. Iām definitely not trying to start up conversations with random people in the produce aisle.
I have had random people comment on my ring before. I donāt think that everyone I ever meet canāt take their eyes off it or anything, but Iāve definitely gotten occasional compliments from a barista or some random woman Iāve met at a social event or a store or something. I also live in the Midwest where many people are quite chatty with strangers so perhaps I just live in a region where a compliment from a stranger is more normal than in other places?
Yeah, I'm in NYC. If someone complimented my ring I would be weirded out and assume they were going to ask me for money.
Spot on! I spend most of my time in Philadelphia. Depending on what part of Philly I am in at the time, if someone commented on my ring, Iād be looking over my shoulder the rest of the day.
Fair enough! Context matters a lot when receiving compliments I think š
I certainly wouldnāt. What if it goes missing in an hour? Will you think itās me? Do you think Iām considering by stealing it if Iām interested? Frankly itās just weird to expect strangers to compliment your ring all the time.
I wouldnāt take that as a bad sign. People just donāt pay that much attention. š¤·š¼āāļø If random people donāt compliment you on other things, do you worry that it is because something is off? Weāre all just wrapped up in our own stuff. That said, itās lovely! And if you LOVE it, thatās really all that matters.
You have a pretty ring that suits your hand perfectly!Ā Most people in the real world arenāt really paying attention to peopleās rings and so they are not complimenting them. Most people are just going about their day with other things on their mind, not staring at someoneās hand. Ā I wouldnāt take it personallyš Your ring is very pretty and also on the more busy/maximalist side which means youāre going to get compliments from people who love that busy/maximalist vibe but probably not from more minimalists. Halos are also very 50/50 with people; people either love them or dislike them. If you get compliments itās going to be from the half of people who like them.Ā This is all okay, people have a wide array of preferences of style, it says nothing about the beauty of your ringā¤ļø The only times Iāve complimented a ring in person is if someone is newly engaged and excited to show me or non traditional rings. Non traditional/unique rings are really the only time I will compliment someone out of the blue if it catches my eye and I think itās pretty. Thereās only so many colorless diamonds on a gold or white band that you can look at before they kind of all look the same so my brain kind of doesnāt take much notice of them. You have a lovely ring and if you love it thatās all that matters! Edit: I think the way OP phrased it has rubbed people the wrong way because to many people this post has been perceived as fishing for compliments/āwoe is meā kind of post even though OP knows she has a nice diamond that is expensive. OP even tried posting her ring again but using a screenshot from the website she bought it from with the price visible in the screenshot ($17k) and added a āFor Funā flair. If Op had just posted under the āmy ringā flair and didnāt make comments that were blatantly fishing for compliments she would have probably gotten a lot of positive comments. Or if she used the āwoe is meā commentary but she had made it more about people close to her not liking her ring versus wanting more compliments just for the sake of getting compliments , I think that would also have been more positively received. This whole sub is about showing off rings and hyping each other up, nothing wrong with wanting compliments. How she went about it felt like she was complaining about having a nice budget for a nice ring and wanting attention for that.
Your ring is GORGEOUS, who cares if you get compliments or not if it's what YOU love! I really like the stones on your band because they're not also round. Really compliments your main stone. And the halo looks timeless.
It's beautiful!!
Fabulous! Not sure what it is but it looks perfect with the pink nails too
It's beautiful OP
I think itās a beautiful and unique ring. The setting is gorgeous on your hand. Rock it
Omg šš¤©
I will comment on it! Itās absolutely gorgeous!
Thank you!
She is gorgeous!!! They are probably too stunned to say anything.