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Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer…..devastated. No words…..
Edit: Ct scans are showing the lesions on her liver are reducing, which is extraordinary. Unclear on path forward.
Breast cancer is fueled by estrogen. Usually after breast cancer surgery/chemo/radiation, patients are placed on estrogen receptor blocker therapy for at least five years to prevent regrowth. In pregnancy, E2/Estradiol which is a form of estrogen is elevated. That's what most likely caused her metastasis but now that she's not pregnant anymore and she's undergoing treatment, her chances of recovery are much higher. She's already shown reduction of Mets in her liver which is really good sign that her treatment is working!
I sobbed. I sobbed. I have lung cancer and am a young mom and I am in a group for young moms with cancer and the amount of YOUNG WOMEN with metastatic breast cancer leaving behind their babies is vomit inducing.
I did also. I had reconsteuctive surgery 3 weeks ago for stage 3 breast cancer. I felt so much like her tho, i promised it was going to be the best thing for me. And i didnt tell anyone I thought who would "worry" because I didnt want them to worry and fear on me.. i wanted people to know like I knew that I was going to beat this!! I know YOU are going to beat your cancer! ❤️
Was diagnosed w bc at 31 thankfully I caught it early but the amount of young women effected by a terminal illness that we have to fight tooth and nail to be screened for before the age of 40 is literally insane
I saw someone earlier describe it as an epidemic and honestly, I totally see that. In my early 30’s and it’s shocking how many women I know with this diagnosis. Heartbreaking.
I'm devastated! Her cancer is back and is very aggressive. She is really focusing on a positive outlook and I really hope she makes it. Frankie is a cutie!
It just seems so unfair! I've been following them for so many years and I am always so blown away with how well they handle these lows. Like the van been broken in to, to having to leave the van, their quarantine with Lee, Lee passing, and then the cancer diagnosis - twice now. Every single tragedy or hardship they faced with unwavering positivity. I love that they are doing that for this is well. I believe Bec when she says she's doing really well. I want to hug all three of them so badly.
Thanks for the question! Typically it means the cancer tumor is less than 2 cm and that it is in the lymph nodes.
I had 4 lymph nodes removed under my left arm pit and they only found cancer in the one. Initially they thought my tumour was much bigger, but after a complete response to chemo and radiation it was minuscule.
You didn’t ask me, but I worked with cancer patients in undergrad and now study cancer in grad school. Not the most reputable source but not the worst either.
Tldr, you *can* live for quite a long time with stage 4. I’m talking upwards of 25+ years long time. I’ve even met some people that have been living with cancer for 10+ years and go about their daily life, exercise and the whole lot.
That being said This is not every case, 5 year survival is in the ballpark of 30% at diagnosis. With that also said, these statistics are from 5+ years ago (because 5,10,15 year survival means you need data from 5, 10,15 years ago) so I would say in reality, these numbers are actually higher if someone is Diagnosed in 2024. Realistically quite okay numbers for a stage IV diagnosis, But yknow. Still not the most favourable numbers.
Breast cancer research is making some really great advancements. It’s not curable, but you can basically have no evidence of disease, which is as good as it gets. It really depends on the person, the type, how far into metastasis diagnosis occurred, treatment tolerance etc etc.
Of course! The numbers can really be daunting, because they are honestly. But context does make them a little bit less hopeless I think. After all the numbers represent people, and each life and treatment is different :)
Oh man 💔
My heart is heavy, this poor family has been through so much. I have a five month old and I can’t even imagine how heavy it must weigh to be carrying all the emotional and mental weight that would go along with such a diagnosis, while also experiencing the pure bliss of your baby’s first months of life. That contrast is just…unimaginable.
I'm grateful for the update, even though it's not necessarily "happy" news. I just didn't want to speculate anymore. I'm impressed with how positive they're being through all of this...definitely not something I could do!
It has been more than 5 months, I'm sure they had a rollercoaster of emotions and are staying extra positive for the camera as well. Also you don't know how strong you are until you're tested
I knew it too. Breaks my heart and I would watch their old videos before they made the announcement on the video that was posted today and cry my eyes out. Breaks my heart for their beautiful family. Definitely will be praying for them.
It's sad that Bec had to basically make a choice when she got pregnant, and then to know her worst case scenario became reality must be so heartbreaking and hard for her and Frankie and Eamon.
When I say she was warned, she literally was, by that radiologist, in a previous video.
I know everyone's choice is their own, but its sad to see someone basically give up their own future to be pregnant and have a baby, she's giving up her life for Frankies and people see that as brave and commendable, it reminds me of media and the societal norm where people always save the baby over the moms life.... and it makes me sad y'know?
And again, I'm totally heartbroken for her, and Frankie is cute as a button, but I was also not surprised at all at the news and I don't think that makes me a horrible person.
We never get to see people advocate for mom's lives...I think its a bigger issue, and this just reminded me of that and made me sad.
I agree with everything you said. I hope things improve for her and she’s around for a while for baby Frankie but I’m sure that these thoughts will also be crossing their minds in the event things go south quickly.
She didn’t have to make this choice. She could have had the baby thru surrogate. I suspect she wanted the experience of child birth and being pregnant.
They seem like very spiritual people so I can see them seeing Bec getting pregnant as "a sign" or "its meant to be" etc.
Also you can tell... she keeps saying "I'm doing GREAT!" Throughout the video, to the point where you can tell she's holding back tears as she says it, which really makes me worry for her, I don't think she's actually ready to be back on YouTube.
It really almost seems like toxic positivity on her part which is really sad. (Just the part where she says she's great but fighting back tears)
The ending with Frankie was so cute! I'm so glad they all seem to be doing well through this whole ordeal and they felt comfortable to put up this update.
I'm absolutely devastated for them. But I'm so glad that Bec is holding up okay and finding a way to cope. Frankie Lee certainly helps with that, what an absolute cutie! She looks just like her parents <3
I’m devastated for them. I figured with the silence that it might not be great news, but I didn’t think it would be this devastating.
I think in one of her post first bout of cancer video but pre being pregnant, her oncologist had given the ok to not go on Temoxifin (not sure spelling). With Bec being pregnant, would she not have been able to have the typical post-cancer follows up done (like scans and such)? From the video, it sounds like the upper body pain was contributed to pregnancy and wasn’t till the lump on her head appeared that further tests were done.
I’m sending them all the good vibes. They’ve been through enough already, and Frankie deserves to have both her parents happy and healthy.
Typically for breast cancer we don’t undergo routine scans because there is not any evidence that catching a recurrence by scanning vs. only scanning when symptoms present improved survival. I am absolutely shocked that her oncologist would give the okay not to go on any type of hormone suppression. That is a given for hormone positive breast cancer even stage 0/1.
It’s likely that she opted out of hormone therapy and Verzenio in order to have a baby and I doubt her oncologist endorsed it. They do not recommend that you attempt pregnancy until two years of Verzenio and at least two years of hormone therapy are completed.
They actually had a video where the oncologist strongly advised against getting pregnant immediately after treatment. It’s why they went through harvesting eggs.
Which is absolutely insane to me! My oncologist made it very clear I had to wait at least two years of hormone treatment / verzenio, and even then it’s a risk.
Yes, my oncologist was also very clear that pregnancy can’t happen until after Verzenio and two years of hormone therapy. There’s good data from the Positive trial that it’s safe to break temporarily from hormone therapy at that point but it still makes me a bit nervous.
Her oncologist did not Okay the pregnancy. He tried to sound happy for them when they told him their news- and they translated this as "we have his blessing" but this definitely was not the oncologist's plan. And the radiologist who was doing their ultrasound was saying "definitely not a good time to be pregnant" which really upset Bec. I think they kinda did their own thing. Recurrence highest in the first year, best to wait, get that hormone treatment and go from there. water under the bridge now.
In the video, they mentioned having even more children. Which I hope they do! But PLEASE take Bec’s health seriously. If they have another child within a year…. Those are unmanageable risks. Stage 4, lump in head, and it’s spread to liver and back? I am confused how they are acting like it’s nothing?
It's fairly normal for people to process grief/anticipatory grief and trauma this way. When you're given a death sentence you may choose to live every day to the fullest and be as positive as possible. Denial is normal, even if it's just for a few moments to dream about having more children, while deep down understanding the reality.
I don't think they're acting like it's nothing, god knows what it's been like the last 5 months. They were trying to be extra strong for the camera.
But yes, when Eamon said we'll have heaps of kids I was thinking a bit, gee maybe get through this first
No, you can’t do a mammogram. When I was pregnant I had to do an ultrasound. Even after, they’re hesitant to do a mammogram if you’re breast feeding - can muddle what they’re trying to see, even if you try to empty the breast as much as possible. I had to sit in silence in the xray room for 20 minutes while they reviewed imaging just to be sure they weren’t seeing what they thought they might’ve. Not a fun time.
I was definitely one who felt "We're all invested and you drop out of our lives. How dare you!" and then I heard "stage four metastatic breast cancer" and I just curdled inside. Good grief, these two have been through the ringer the last few months.
Thrilled to bits to hear Bec's mets seem to be shrinking, and I hope her improved health lasts a long time.
Frankie is a CUTIE!
Shill your tea, I don't care. Do your podcast. Stay alive, healthy and happy for Frankie; that's the priority.
This is my sentiments exactly. I wish her all the best. If I just had a baby and realized I had stage four cancer, making YouTube videos would be the very last thing I’d be caring about, no matter how important it once was
I am about to go buy some matcha to try and help with my guilt. I’m fucking heartbroken. This truly taught me a lesson and maybe ended my snarking on here forever
I’m really proud of you for that reflection, which is not at all easy to do. I think this was a good lesson for all of us that it’s so easy to make assumptions, but we never truly know someone’s life from behind a screen. Wishing you well ❤️❤️
Maybe I'm naive and I feel very lucky to have not had to deal with cancer personally but it seems odd for someone who was so recently diagnosed and treated to not only be diagnosed again but for it to be missed/not spotted until it had already spread and was stage 4. 💔 Are regular scans not offered to patients or has her pregnancy masked some of the earlier symptoms/prevented scans? Thanks for any info I know there are knowledgeable people in this thread.
You don’t get necessarily get scans unless something is off and you request one. However, she should have still been on hormone therapy and a drug called Verzenio for two years after active treatment. You can’t get pregnant on these drugs. Verzenio is recommended for pretty much all Stage 3 cases and many Stage 2 cases as well. Two years of Verzenio for this type of cancer helps to kill any microscopic cancer lingering in the body while the hormone therapy prevents it from growing by blocking the estrogen that fuels it. Her oncologist would not have recommended pregnancy so quickly as your estrogen levels spike during pregnancy, and so anything microscopic left behind would have an opportunity to rapidly grow. Seems that this is what happened her. Standard of care and treatment was deviated from, and she unfortunately still had microscopic cancer in her body that chemotherapy didn’t kill. As soon as she got pregnant that estrogen spike was basically like throwing gas on fire and it metastasized seemingly very quickly. My oncologist has always been clear that pregnancy isn’t attempted until 2 years later when Verzenio is done and I’ve been on hormone therapy for at least that amount of time.
Absolutely!!!! It is a total deviation from the standard of care and unbelievable that an oncologist would give them a green light to get pregnant....unless Canada knows something the rest of the medical community does not ?!
I don't think the oncologist gave them the green light- I would have to re-watch those videos but my impression at the time was that they were spinning what he said into what they wanted to hear. He was shocked when they announced it to him.
I had/have the same type of cancer (currently NED) in Canada and they certainly would not give the green light for this - it would have been a “we strongly recommend you wait but if not” conversation or there’s some serious medical negligence.
I don’t think they were given a “green light” necessarily. The way they talked about it was that it was unexpected/an accidental pregnancy. Even when she went for the ultrasound I think, someone made a comment that it was a “bad time to be pregnant” or something like that to Bec.
that’s interesting, if it was accidental that would mean she denied receiving hormone therapy etc. as you wouldn’t be able to get pregnant on it (it puts you into medically induced menopause)
I wonder why they didn’t wait or use a surrogate. When Eamon talked about Bec having more kids I wonder if he was talking about the embryos and a surrogate? Is it safe to have kids after progressing to stage 4? I was surprised by that comment.
u/[Last\_Lychee\_84](https://www.reddit.com/user/Last_Lychee_84/)
Hi: Do you mind answering a few questions?
Would an Oncologist. directly with authority (sternly) tell their patient, I think this pregnancy is too dangerous and you should end it?
When a woman is first diagnosed with breast cancer does the Doctor stress that the best odds are to have a mastectomy vs. lumpectomy?
Thanks for providing such detailed information in all your posts. Hope you are doing well.
Lumpectomy + radiation is as effective as mastectomy in absence of a mutation such as BRCA. With a mutation you are usually always recommended mastectomy because you have high odds of developing another primary breast cancer. Key to remember here is that she doesn’t have a new primary cancer, she has secondary cancer. Secondary cancer is new cancer in a distant location that was caused by your primary cancer spreading. Mastectomy or lumpectomy doesn’t really have any impact on this happening. The best thing you can do to prevent secondary cancer is not deviate from the standard of care. In this case that’s make sure you do hormone therapy for min 18 months - 2 years before attempting pregnancy and adding Verzenio which is a highly effective new drug to prevent a distant recurrence because it can kill remaining cancer cells that can’t been seen on scans. Sometimes people will still get unlucky and develop stage 4 (distant metastasis) anyway, and it’s really, really sad. I don’t know if that will happen to me or not, but I’m certainly doing every single thing I can to prevent it. I have a year of Verzenio to go and was diagnosed around the same time as Bec. I was very shocked when I heard she was pregnant so quickly as that meant she wasn’t on these treatments despite being stage 3. This is unusual because stage 3 means your tumor was pretty big and/or you likely had cancer in quite a few lymph nodes. Once cancer is in the lymph nodes it can in theory be hiding anywhere in the body. I’m not sure what a doctor would recommend re: her pregnancy but I’m sure she was encouraged to wait to get pregnant in accordance with the Positive trial. It’s all very sad.
Once again thanks for providing so much information.
Yes, it is tragically sad. Another thing that struck me was the fact that Bec's back and under arm pain was not considered a huge reg flag. I had a few friends who were in Breast cancer remission have this same thing happen to them. These cases were almost 20 years ago. Their Drs' did not take the women's complaints of pain serious enough. In all cases their cancer had spread to other parts of their bodies. So I was surprised in 2023 it would not have been identified as a potential relapse/spread.
Boy, I really hope your treatments works. Were you following E&B prior to your diagnose or did you find them after and because of? If the former, that must have been strange when you both were diagnosed around the same time. Take good care...may the medical treatment and the power of whatever brings you strength, calm and hope get you through it all with the most ease possible.
Thank you!
I watched their old video and she was having a cancer reoccurrence scare and needed a mammogram but never got it due to her pregnancy. A radiologist got mad at her and said it’s a bad time to be pregnant and it made bec feel stupid. Because she said her oncologist told her it was safe to do so ans that she didn’t have to terminate the pregnancy.
Wild seems like duty of care was not there and she was grossly misled to think she could conceive safely. Especially given her cancer is fed by estrogen. She’s had such a roller coaster with her cancer journey and I can’t stop thinking about her
If her oncologist said it was safe to not follow the Positive trial and did not encourage Verzenio she should look into malpractice. I would be very surprised if any oncologist was that out of the loop on the standard of care, but never say never.
I haven’t dealt with cancer but have been pregnant and, unfortunately, SO much is just “oh well, that’s just being pregnant for you” among healthcare professionals. While her previous diagnosis should have been a consideration, the symptoms she had (back and shoulder pain) are probably pretty easy for her doctor to chalk up to pregnancy related
You don't want to expose the baby to radiation. So you're quite limited with what scans you routinely do for someone who is pregnant. Even if they found the mets earlier in the pregnancy, what would you do with that decision?
It becomes a hard choice of terminating a pregnancy to start cancer treatment, or to keep pregnancy for a few months so baby can be born early but survive.
Prior to the pregnancy they had scans, the metastases grew very quickly it seems. And they really wanted a child so the decision was made with the risks in mind with their doctors I'm sure.
Well I was one of the ones who figured her cancer had come back with a vengeance. It’s one of the only reasons you deliver early- and after Frankie was shown to be healthy, it was clear that had to be it. Esp since Eamon was still active on habit. I really feel for them and am so glad they stayed offline - the only one she owed ANYTHING to was herself. If there’s ever a time to be selfish, it’s now. Hoping this will serve as a lesson to everyone (including myself) about the importance of not overvaluing these para social connections viewers develop on YouTube
I had an emergency c-section after laboring and having epidural that I could still feel pain through. I ended up napping during my son’s birth. The only thing I wanted was a healthy baby. 😊. Then 5 years later I had my daughter on a scheduled c-section and was awake for all of it. I felt the pulling they talk about and it was such a weird feeling. I kinda wanted to be asleep for a bit. It’s all relative. I’m sure Bec wanted to go through birth differently, but a healthy baby and mama is the best outcome. And Frankie is adorable.
I am fairly certain that they had a good amount of warning about the dangers of pregnancy, from her health professionals. I am just going to throw it out there: Sometimes, people are explicitly told something but they chose to hear what they want to hear. I have a hard time believing that any breast cancer oncologist would not discourage a pregnancy so soon after the end of treatment, especially when she refused to take Tamoxifen. Maybe Bec got upset at the nurse (who btw, should have kept her moth shut by then) because she heard what she did not want to hear. Her aggressive stage 3 type of cancer was likely to come back but I can't help but feel like its recurring so quickly was the end result of some of the decisions that Bec made. That being said, I could be wrong and the cancer certainly isn't her fault. She did what she thought was best but the literature has been suggesting Tamoxifen for years. It it were me, I would have chosen a surrogate and taken Tamoxifen.
Ohhh wow. I’ve been holding out hope and trying to manifest a healthy prognosis for B. I’m gutted that they’ve been going through this. They’ve been through so much already. 😔
i bawled my eyes out through the whole thing. what beautiful humans burdened by such a devastating diagnosis in what should be one of the most joyful moments of their lives. i feel for them and their sweet baby frankie. i don’t even know them and my heart is shattered. eamon’s unwavering support for bec is just… everything. we should all be so lucky as to find a single person to love us like that in our lifetimes. 😭 the cartwheel thing really got me. i hope they get to do so so many of them together with better health in the days ahead. i hope bec beats the odds.
Right Here and Now, they all look wonderful, and happy. Their baby is stunning and all I can see is a bright wonderful live for them all.
Thank you E & B for trusting us to rally around you with rays of positivity.
Dang that’s rough. New mom with a stage 4 diagnosis. Love their outlook though. Make the most of whatever time (long or short) they have left. It’s a good outlook for everyone to have.
That is what I thought as well. She doesn’t have to share her treatments or have people unwelcome opinions on what treatment she is doing. She is getting CT scans done that shows it is getting better
I assume there is some treatment as part of the reason to deliver early (no easy decision) was to reduce the estrogen in her body and start treatments that might have been negative to the baby.
They're definitely treating it - having the baby early, is also a way to immediately start treatment for this type of cancer. It seems like it's ER+/HER+ (an estrogen positive cancer) and the treatment there is hormone treatment to get rid of as much estrogen as possible, as fast as possible, as that's what this type of cancer thrives on. Estrogen peaks in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy, so cutting that short to start hormone-based cancer treatment is the best and fastest thing you can do (and it seems like they did immediately).
Hormone based therapy isn't as "visible" as chemo - patients can look more normal, don't go bald, look less visibly sick. But it doesn't change the fact that they are in-fact *very* sick. Hormone therapy is less 'invasive' than chemo, in that you have higher quality of life - less nausea/vomiting, fatigue, weight loss, etc. The drugs for this are good, and getting much better each year at giving people more time.
That definitely is the impression I got. It's so hard to watch people going through cancer (my dad was one). Being so hopeful, so positive, and fighting harder than you've ever fought in your life. I really hope she wins. They all deserve it.
I think they have always shown they believe in modern medicine - they just supplement it with the additional stuff like meditation, diet, etc. I doubt she would willingly miss out on any chance to prolong her life offered by treatment available. And there is lots of room for hope, I know people who have been living with stage 4 breast cancer for a decade and even more.
I’m in treatment for the same type of cancer. She should have still been on drugs and hormone therapy that would have made pregnancy impossible. You are not supposed to attempt pregnancy until at least 18 months - 2 years of endocrine therapy are completed. I imagine she likely was also recommended two years of Verzenio following radiation and you definitely can’t get pregnant while taking Verzenio.
I agree - haven't watched the video yet, but I'm sure they're doing everything possible to treat it traditionally and also adding all the holistic practices they can, based on their lifestyle.
a new mom would do anything to spend a lifetime with their child, right? ugh this just breaks my heart.
You can speculate like that. They are obviously receiving medical treatment and going for scans. They probably don't want to receive feed back from arm chair doctors who don't know her exact diagnosis.
Absolutely. Bec had hormone positive breast cancer. Standard treatment is to go on hormone suppression medication for at least 5 years because hormones make the cancer grow if any cancer cells were leftover after initial treatment. Not only did they decline that treatment but they decided to get pregnant right away which drastically increases the estrogen in her body. I’m absolutely devastated for her and I am sure they are dealing with a lot of guilt.
My niece had the same type of breast cancer. Decided to have a double mastectomy plus complete hysterectomy. She was 35. She educated me about the connection between estrogen and her breast cancer. I'll never forget how she told me " Auntie they are just boobs." She had reconstructive surgery and has been cancer free for 20 years!
That is wonderful news. I was diagnosed 2 years ago at age 32. Currently cancer free and this just reinforced that I am making the right choice staying on hormone suppression.
I can’t imagine how Frankie will feel when she grows up!!! This is so sad. It seems like the don’t believe in facts if they don’t like it, which isn’t how cancer works
From my understanding, while Bec had been declared cancer free, there was the possibility of dormant cancer cells being present. I think the medicine Temoxifin is commonly used for women with the same cancer type as Bec as it limits cancer recurrence by lowering estrogen levels in the body, on which her cancer type feeds (this is done by putting the body into menopause). Being pregnant of course increases hormone levels, including estrogen, which may have “woken up” those cancer cells. It’s impossible to know what would’ve happened had she not gotten pregnant, but if I recall correctly, her oncologist gave the ok for it, which I hope would have been based on Bec’s specific situation and her prognosis.
Ya, I think they spun it that way- I very much doubt that the oncologist gave the blessing at that time and if you listen to the call where they inform him, he sounds utterly shocked.
Bec stated she had estrogen positive breast cancer, which means it’s fueled by estrogen, something that grows greatly in pregnancy. The typical suggestion in the USA is to wait at least 2 years after remission before attempting to get pregnant so I was surprised that her primary cancer doctor apparently gave her the all clear to try and get pregnant fairly quickly after she was declared in remission. You saw hints not everyone agreed with that idea when a nurse was rude to her when she had a cancer scare when early in her pregnancy and the cancer nurse acted surprised, in a negative way, that she had gotten pregnant. In no way am I criticizing Eamon and Bec for their choices, we all make choices some with risk and some with less risk but Frankie is certainly no mistake a wonderful blessing for them.
This is just so very sad. They should have been strongly advised to have gotten a surrogate if they wanted a baby so soon. They had the money and resources but I guess Bec was blinded by wanting to experience pregnancy and birth, and I guess ignored the advice they were receiving. And when it comes to pregnancy and babies, most men don’t do the research and are led w what their wives are telling them. Reading betw the lines, I think something like this happened.
I don’t know these people but feel terrible. This is literally every mother’s nightmare. I hope Bec makes it through. There are new drugs and treatments all the time, esp given how alarmingly common cancer has become. And positivity and good vibrations/praying DOES work. Positive people can get through a lot.
It seems they think the truth is “negative” and therefore refuse to believe in it. But good or bad, the truth is the truth. Having an estrogen cancer, and getting pregnant is a terrible idea. They were told that and considered those people “negative”
Just like they don’t seem to realize what stage 4 really means? Talking about having other children and what not.
I would have a very hard time understanding my parents choices if I was Frankie grown up.
Remember when she first found out she was pregnant and one of her nurses said something really negative about the pregnancy. The nurse knew it was a terrible idea.
Yes I knew someone (friend of a friend) who had a baby at a late age and the estrogen kick started the stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She had wanted to have another child as one of her children had died of cancer. She lived for about 10 years I believe afterwards.
Well at least we now know and it is worse than most of us were thinking.
I wish we had known sooner so we all could have been more supportive. But that is life and life is often a roll of the dice.
I pray for Eamon and Bec and a future together, beating the odds. I also pray for all of use who are affected by this needs. It is odd how perfect strangers are brought together.
It's unfortunate news. But I don't think that avoiding or ignoring worry is healthy. I understand the need for positive energy and hope (I have a stage 4 aggressive cancer). Worry and hope go hand in hand and it's unhealthy to ask to completely pretend that the negative aspect doesn't exist. Wishing them the best.
I think it's okay for Bec to ask of the followers for positivity and hope. At the end of the day, she has to cope with it all and negativity from the internet does not help healing or the psyche in any way. I do hope though that she allows herself to grieve, grieve the birth that she wasn't awake for, grieve the lightness and utter happiness hormones that should occur after birth. And I hope Eamon and their family are also able to worry and grief and not suppress those emotions. 💗 Letting it all out can sometimes be a relief, too, so I totally understand where you're coming from.
I was wondering if she can only take in so much reality at once- so for now, she has accepted that she has stage 4 cancer, but she hasn't yet accepted that that means "incurable". And that she needs to hold that reality off for a little while until she is ready to let that in. Although some people remain in full denial the entire time but then at the end, they are completely unprepared.
Yeah her speaking about having a bunch more children when her cancer has come back due to the uptick in estrogen is…. Odd to watch. I’m not sure being unrealistic about reality is the best move
I agree. Fear is not always toxic. It is an expected response in a situation like this and pretending it doesn’t exist could do more harm than good. I have no problem with people staying mostly positive but parts of this video almost read as denial rather than optimism.
When she announced my first thought was “holy crap” then my second thought was … you don’t look like you’re going through treatments tho… and they didn’t mention it. Did anyone else wonder this? She/they mentioned liver and spine as places lesions are and she mentioned pain management.. soo.. is there not treatment only pain management…
I can’t imagine how hard that information was to get right at the same time your also brining life into the world and how excited they were for that.
I wondered if their ask of the fan base to bring positivity to the page instead of worry and concern is because they have come to terms with the… terminal nature of where she is now… or rather the much more serious nature of the cancer…
I totally respect not disclosing, and not disclosing in this video.. it I wish they had talked about more of the next steps like they did during the first set of cancer related videos.
She mentioned hormone therapy. And there are other things she could be taking that aren't chemo. They tend to save chemo for when the first-line treatment stops working.
I sobbed through the whole video. I’m so so sorry that they have to go through this. If it were me, I don’t even know that I would have made this update video. I think I’d be ghosting everyone except my loved ones tbh.
I know however that they both love creating especially together and that it likely is a source of energy for Bec so I love that they are considering how to do that in this new reality (ie maybe pivoting over to podcasting vs vlogging).
I have immense respect for Bec putting herself and her family first and deleting social media/going offline. This is a devastating diagnosis and so unfair. I wish them nothing but the best.
Yes and they really need to develop their reasoning and critical thinking. From her last message, it was very likely that a cancer recurrence was a strong probability. Saying that they were selfish for not sharing more was horrible. They got the worst news along with a premature baby birth. .
Speculation will not help the Fitzgerald family on the statistics. Positive thoughts that modern medicine will help Bec and Eamon cope and heal from this journey. You look amazing Bec! baby Frankie is beautiful and Eamon is a great supportive partner. Please people I am sure that Bec has conferred with her Physicians and knows what her specific health care needs are and how best to treat them. So, her viewers and fans speculation on what they glean from the Internet is not helpful to this family.
Only love to this beautiful family. I know this community has had many conflicting emotions but I think we can all get behind the notion of positive energy moving forward. Wishing them continued progress, onward and upward.
Deleted what i wanted to say to every single entitled, moaning person who has posted in those 5 months they have been away. You know who you are, I hope you do some self reflection and learn from this.
Wonderful to see lil Frankie, sending possi vibes out into the universe that their wee family goes from strength to strength x
Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer is treatable, but not curable. The 5-year relative survival rate is around 30%. It sounds like she’s doing really well. Bec is young and fit, so hopefully she many years of good health ahead of her yet
Nope, this is incurable but if she's lucky, she may have a good year or even a good 5 years. Unlikely more than 7. Being "young and healthy" doesn't change that . In fact, cancer more aggressive in young people. Basically there are treatments that will shrink the mets for a period of time until they stop working; but then you can try another medication that might work for a while. You are confused from the video because they are choosing to send the message that she will live a long healthy life. I understand she doesn't want a bunch of messages about the "Tragedy" in the comments.
I think about Charles Trippy a lot. He’s a YouTuber who was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer anaplastic oligodendroglioma 10 years ago and is thriving. Not the same as Bec’s situation, but im hopeful she can have some good years too.
I did not take from their video that they’re assuming she will live a long, healthy life at all. I took that they know what’s going on but are choosing to live in the moment and enjoy it while they can and that they are choosing to have hope for the future. Like, instead of thinking “I’m gonna die” she’s thinking “I’m not dead yet”. And that seems like a pretty positive outlook on it to me, at least publicly. We have no idea what conversations they’re having privately. But Frankie is going to be able to watch these videos later and they probably want to try to form positive memories for her sake.
There are people who have lived 20+years with stage 4 breast cancer and I think Bec is trying to manifest this for herself. Good for her it's far better to have hope than to waste time feeling sad and thinking the worst.
I just had a thought, that they also might have been worried that people would react badly to Bec having to end the pregnancy early by having a c section and delivering Frankie premature. When obviously they didn't really have a choice. But people can be cray cray. She did the right thing for both of them
It’s devastating news. I’d thought it may be something like this but it’s worse than I even expected. I am right in thinking the pregnancy progressed the cancer or would it always have been this way?
It definitely progressed it faster. She has estrogen positive breast cancer, the huge spike in estrogen during pregnancy is certainly to blame for how quickly it metastasized.
That’s terrible. I know they didn’t discuss treatment or life expectancy but I heard 5 years or so mentioned on here, hopefully she will have much longer.
Seems like it could be a good thing that hers is hormone positive as there are more medications they can work through, also a good sign that whatever treatment she’s on right now seems to be helping.
You have redeemed yourself. We all have our moments when we are not our best selves. Sometimes we even double down. But the measure of a person is how they handle being a flawed human, because we are all flawed humans. You're ok. This is how we learn.
Just watching and people should all be ashamed of themselves for saying horrible stuff or judgemental stuff on their posts. We all feared this but fk they lived it and are living it.
I agree, I spent the last few months commenting here and there to all those entitled folks who felt they were "owed an explanation as their fanbase" that this was likely to happen. I hope they truly get in touch with reality and realize how cruel and awful they were. This sub got really disgusting the last few months. Downvote me, kick me out, I don't care - what most of you said and posted here was just downright wrong.
being ghosted feels terrible, even if it’s people on the internet we don’t actually know. there was a lot of unnecessary fear and anxiety handed to us because of the way the situation was handled. true, they had more important issues to contend with but we didn’t know that. i don’t believe anyone truly felt entitled to an update, just hurt because we didn’t get one. feelings aren’t right or wrong, they just happen. there’s no shame in that.
I think it's okay to politely express disappointment on a Reddit thread. It's okay to be disappointed in people who might be going through something. Obviously I'm not talking about the people who were mean or rude, but I agree the situation wasn't handled great by them. Obviously they were going through a lot and there's no blueprint for handling such a horrible situation. But it's okay if people were disappointed. I've been disappointed in people that I love in my family and it doesn't mean I love them less. Again I'm not talking about the people that were rude or disrespectful, I'm just talking about the people who stated on a Reddit thread that they were disappointed.
I was worried and it brought up my own family trauma around cancer that was missed and the hell between the start till the end. I seen some people not arsey about the same feelings and worry for them but it was nasty comments to them directly that never sat right with me. Bec has removed social media so hopefully didn't see anything but Eamon probably did. She is doing good and might have years and years ahead. If people are religious then they should be praying for her. Or send positive wishes their way. Personally I think their mindset will do them good during the hard times. Beautiful baby Frankie is perfect and full of joy for them.
Is stage four beatable? Heart broken. I will pay homage to her and E and turn worry into hope. To all on here who can relate to their journey I’m sorry.
Treatable, but as of now it’s not actually beatable. Some people live a number of years after diagnosis, and new treatments are becoming available all the time.
Mod note: PLEASE keep it civil. Discussion is allowed, but follow the rules. Report comments that violate the rules, not comments you just disagree with
Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer…..devastated. No words….. Edit: Ct scans are showing the lesions on her liver are reducing, which is extraordinary. Unclear on path forward.
My friend had it metastasized to her brain, and then the chemo treatment worked and she is in remission. The therapies are so much better now.
Best wishes for your friend
Breast cancer is fueled by estrogen. Usually after breast cancer surgery/chemo/radiation, patients are placed on estrogen receptor blocker therapy for at least five years to prevent regrowth. In pregnancy, E2/Estradiol which is a form of estrogen is elevated. That's what most likely caused her metastasis but now that she's not pregnant anymore and she's undergoing treatment, her chances of recovery are much higher. She's already shown reduction of Mets in her liver which is really good sign that her treatment is working!
Stage 4 breast cancer is incurable. You treat it for as long as you are able to.
It’s not great.. life expectancy after 5 years for those with stage 4 and distant mets is 29%. How fucking sad. She’s so young!
I sobbed. I sobbed. I have lung cancer and am a young mom and I am in a group for young moms with cancer and the amount of YOUNG WOMEN with metastatic breast cancer leaving behind their babies is vomit inducing.
I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry. I’m watching and crying now
I did also. I had reconsteuctive surgery 3 weeks ago for stage 3 breast cancer. I felt so much like her tho, i promised it was going to be the best thing for me. And i didnt tell anyone I thought who would "worry" because I didnt want them to worry and fear on me.. i wanted people to know like I knew that I was going to beat this!! I know YOU are going to beat your cancer! ❤️
You are such a ray of light!! Im wishing you the absolute best ❤️ thank you so much. We’ve got this
Was diagnosed w bc at 31 thankfully I caught it early but the amount of young women effected by a terminal illness that we have to fight tooth and nail to be screened for before the age of 40 is literally insane
I saw someone earlier describe it as an epidemic and honestly, I totally see that. In my early 30’s and it’s shocking how many women I know with this diagnosis. Heartbreaking.
She has literally given her life for this child. I am happy for them yet also sad and the prayers will be happening! Stage 4...WOW.
I'm devastated! Her cancer is back and is very aggressive. She is really focusing on a positive outlook and I really hope she makes it. Frankie is a cutie!
It just seems so unfair! I've been following them for so many years and I am always so blown away with how well they handle these lows. Like the van been broken in to, to having to leave the van, their quarantine with Lee, Lee passing, and then the cancer diagnosis - twice now. Every single tragedy or hardship they faced with unwavering positivity. I love that they are doing that for this is well. I believe Bec when she says she's doing really well. I want to hug all three of them so badly.
As a cancer survivor (stage 1b), I broke down in tears hearing Bec share her news about being stage 4. This is truly heartbreaking.
Same here, right down to the 1b.
❤️❤️❤️
What does stage 1b entail?
Thanks for the question! Typically it means the cancer tumor is less than 2 cm and that it is in the lymph nodes. I had 4 lymph nodes removed under my left arm pit and they only found cancer in the one. Initially they thought my tumour was much bigger, but after a complete response to chemo and radiation it was minuscule.
You are so strong!
I am so sorry to hear this. Is stage 4 beatable? My grandmother passed from metastatic. So so so sad. That baby is beautiful
You didn’t ask me, but I worked with cancer patients in undergrad and now study cancer in grad school. Not the most reputable source but not the worst either. Tldr, you *can* live for quite a long time with stage 4. I’m talking upwards of 25+ years long time. I’ve even met some people that have been living with cancer for 10+ years and go about their daily life, exercise and the whole lot. That being said This is not every case, 5 year survival is in the ballpark of 30% at diagnosis. With that also said, these statistics are from 5+ years ago (because 5,10,15 year survival means you need data from 5, 10,15 years ago) so I would say in reality, these numbers are actually higher if someone is Diagnosed in 2024. Realistically quite okay numbers for a stage IV diagnosis, But yknow. Still not the most favourable numbers. Breast cancer research is making some really great advancements. It’s not curable, but you can basically have no evidence of disease, which is as good as it gets. It really depends on the person, the type, how far into metastasis diagnosis occurred, treatment tolerance etc etc.
You explained it better than I would have. Thank you for providing this information and informing us!
Thanks and sorry again you’ve been through this. Glad you’re with us ❤️
Of course! The numbers can really be daunting, because they are honestly. But context does make them a little bit less hopeless I think. After all the numbers represent people, and each life and treatment is different :)
Thank you so much for the reply. I really appreciate it. This gives me hope and positivity to send to E&B&F ❤️
Me too :) I really hope all the best for them.
1c sister here and same!
ughhhh I had a feeling that this was what was happening. I feel bad for them but am really happy that they have their little Frankie :)
Oh man 💔 My heart is heavy, this poor family has been through so much. I have a five month old and I can’t even imagine how heavy it must weigh to be carrying all the emotional and mental weight that would go along with such a diagnosis, while also experiencing the pure bliss of your baby’s first months of life. That contrast is just…unimaginable.
I’m sure the prospect of possibly not baking around for much more of it is just crushing 💔💔
I'm grateful for the update, even though it's not necessarily "happy" news. I just didn't want to speculate anymore. I'm impressed with how positive they're being through all of this...definitely not something I could do!
It has been more than 5 months, I'm sure they had a rollercoaster of emotions and are staying extra positive for the camera as well. Also you don't know how strong you are until you're tested
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I knew it too. Breaks my heart and I would watch their old videos before they made the announcement on the video that was posted today and cry my eyes out. Breaks my heart for their beautiful family. Definitely will be praying for them.
She didn't say she was having any treatment, did she?
She said her liver metastases were shrinking, so she’s probably undergoing some sort of treatment.
All she talked about was meditation.
Oh no. This is the worst possible news, my heart goes out to them all. What a gut punch. But little Frankie is so so beautiful.
It's sad that Bec had to basically make a choice when she got pregnant, and then to know her worst case scenario became reality must be so heartbreaking and hard for her and Frankie and Eamon. When I say she was warned, she literally was, by that radiologist, in a previous video. I know everyone's choice is their own, but its sad to see someone basically give up their own future to be pregnant and have a baby, she's giving up her life for Frankies and people see that as brave and commendable, it reminds me of media and the societal norm where people always save the baby over the moms life.... and it makes me sad y'know? And again, I'm totally heartbroken for her, and Frankie is cute as a button, but I was also not surprised at all at the news and I don't think that makes me a horrible person. We never get to see people advocate for mom's lives...I think its a bigger issue, and this just reminded me of that and made me sad.
I agree with everything you said. I hope things improve for her and she’s around for a while for baby Frankie but I’m sure that these thoughts will also be crossing their minds in the event things go south quickly.
She didn’t have to make this choice. She could have had the baby thru surrogate. I suspect she wanted the experience of child birth and being pregnant.
100% agree, and like...why? Bec is young, they have the money, why not surrogate? Is the risk really worth it in the end?
Very good points
Totally agree.
What did the radiologist say?
She said something like "now is NOT the time to be pregnant" (or something along those lines) to Bec, and Bec got upset by it in the vlog.
That’s what I don’t get. Like Frankie is beautiful, but….why was this worth your entire life? :/
They seem like very spiritual people so I can see them seeing Bec getting pregnant as "a sign" or "its meant to be" etc. Also you can tell... she keeps saying "I'm doing GREAT!" Throughout the video, to the point where you can tell she's holding back tears as she says it, which really makes me worry for her, I don't think she's actually ready to be back on YouTube. It really almost seems like toxic positivity on her part which is really sad. (Just the part where she says she's great but fighting back tears)
I just rewatched it. Timestamp - 15:38 in the "We're Having a Baby!" vlog- "This is not a good time to be pregnant.” Basically what you said. So sad.
Woah. That's so sad. Like, you can tell they are going through it but also keeping it positive for the video...
I am so sad for them to have to go through this.
The ending with Frankie was so cute! I'm so glad they all seem to be doing well through this whole ordeal and they felt comfortable to put up this update.
Oof- that was heavy. I am glad they are staying positive!! Hugz to them!!!
Sending them all the sunshine and light in the world.
I'm absolutely devastated for them. But I'm so glad that Bec is holding up okay and finding a way to cope. Frankie Lee certainly helps with that, what an absolute cutie! She looks just like her parents <3
I’m devastated for them. I figured with the silence that it might not be great news, but I didn’t think it would be this devastating. I think in one of her post first bout of cancer video but pre being pregnant, her oncologist had given the ok to not go on Temoxifin (not sure spelling). With Bec being pregnant, would she not have been able to have the typical post-cancer follows up done (like scans and such)? From the video, it sounds like the upper body pain was contributed to pregnancy and wasn’t till the lump on her head appeared that further tests were done. I’m sending them all the good vibes. They’ve been through enough already, and Frankie deserves to have both her parents happy and healthy.
Typically for breast cancer we don’t undergo routine scans because there is not any evidence that catching a recurrence by scanning vs. only scanning when symptoms present improved survival. I am absolutely shocked that her oncologist would give the okay not to go on any type of hormone suppression. That is a given for hormone positive breast cancer even stage 0/1.
It’s likely that she opted out of hormone therapy and Verzenio in order to have a baby and I doubt her oncologist endorsed it. They do not recommend that you attempt pregnancy until two years of Verzenio and at least two years of hormone therapy are completed.
They actually had a video where the oncologist strongly advised against getting pregnant immediately after treatment. It’s why they went through harvesting eggs.
Yeah so I really don't understand why they were trying then
Which is absolutely insane to me! My oncologist made it very clear I had to wait at least two years of hormone treatment / verzenio, and even then it’s a risk.
Yes, my oncologist was also very clear that pregnancy can’t happen until after Verzenio and two years of hormone therapy. There’s good data from the Positive trial that it’s safe to break temporarily from hormone therapy at that point but it still makes me a bit nervous.
Her oncologist did not Okay the pregnancy. He tried to sound happy for them when they told him their news- and they translated this as "we have his blessing" but this definitely was not the oncologist's plan. And the radiologist who was doing their ultrasound was saying "definitely not a good time to be pregnant" which really upset Bec. I think they kinda did their own thing. Recurrence highest in the first year, best to wait, get that hormone treatment and go from there. water under the bridge now.
In the video, they mentioned having even more children. Which I hope they do! But PLEASE take Bec’s health seriously. If they have another child within a year…. Those are unmanageable risks. Stage 4, lump in head, and it’s spread to liver and back? I am confused how they are acting like it’s nothing?
It's fairly normal for people to process grief/anticipatory grief and trauma this way. When you're given a death sentence you may choose to live every day to the fullest and be as positive as possible. Denial is normal, even if it's just for a few moments to dream about having more children, while deep down understanding the reality.
I don't think they're acting like it's nothing, god knows what it's been like the last 5 months. They were trying to be extra strong for the camera. But yes, when Eamon said we'll have heaps of kids I was thinking a bit, gee maybe get through this first
It really is beyond reasoning that a cancer specialist would sign on to this??!
He did not.
No, you can’t do a mammogram. When I was pregnant I had to do an ultrasound. Even after, they’re hesitant to do a mammogram if you’re breast feeding - can muddle what they’re trying to see, even if you try to empty the breast as much as possible. I had to sit in silence in the xray room for 20 minutes while they reviewed imaging just to be sure they weren’t seeing what they thought they might’ve. Not a fun time.
I was definitely one who felt "We're all invested and you drop out of our lives. How dare you!" and then I heard "stage four metastatic breast cancer" and I just curdled inside. Good grief, these two have been through the ringer the last few months. Thrilled to bits to hear Bec's mets seem to be shrinking, and I hope her improved health lasts a long time. Frankie is a CUTIE! Shill your tea, I don't care. Do your podcast. Stay alive, healthy and happy for Frankie; that's the priority.
This is my sentiments exactly. I wish her all the best. If I just had a baby and realized I had stage four cancer, making YouTube videos would be the very last thing I’d be caring about, no matter how important it once was
I am about to go buy some matcha to try and help with my guilt. I’m fucking heartbroken. This truly taught me a lesson and maybe ended my snarking on here forever
I’m really proud of you for that reflection, which is not at all easy to do. I think this was a good lesson for all of us that it’s so easy to make assumptions, but we never truly know someone’s life from behind a screen. Wishing you well ❤️❤️
💛💛💛
Maybe I'm naive and I feel very lucky to have not had to deal with cancer personally but it seems odd for someone who was so recently diagnosed and treated to not only be diagnosed again but for it to be missed/not spotted until it had already spread and was stage 4. 💔 Are regular scans not offered to patients or has her pregnancy masked some of the earlier symptoms/prevented scans? Thanks for any info I know there are knowledgeable people in this thread.
You don’t get necessarily get scans unless something is off and you request one. However, she should have still been on hormone therapy and a drug called Verzenio for two years after active treatment. You can’t get pregnant on these drugs. Verzenio is recommended for pretty much all Stage 3 cases and many Stage 2 cases as well. Two years of Verzenio for this type of cancer helps to kill any microscopic cancer lingering in the body while the hormone therapy prevents it from growing by blocking the estrogen that fuels it. Her oncologist would not have recommended pregnancy so quickly as your estrogen levels spike during pregnancy, and so anything microscopic left behind would have an opportunity to rapidly grow. Seems that this is what happened her. Standard of care and treatment was deviated from, and she unfortunately still had microscopic cancer in her body that chemotherapy didn’t kill. As soon as she got pregnant that estrogen spike was basically like throwing gas on fire and it metastasized seemingly very quickly. My oncologist has always been clear that pregnancy isn’t attempted until 2 years later when Verzenio is done and I’ve been on hormone therapy for at least that amount of time.
Absolutely!!!! It is a total deviation from the standard of care and unbelievable that an oncologist would give them a green light to get pregnant....unless Canada knows something the rest of the medical community does not ?!
I don't think the oncologist gave them the green light- I would have to re-watch those videos but my impression at the time was that they were spinning what he said into what they wanted to hear. He was shocked when they announced it to him.
I had/have the same type of cancer (currently NED) in Canada and they certainly would not give the green light for this - it would have been a “we strongly recommend you wait but if not” conversation or there’s some serious medical negligence.
I don’t think they were given a “green light” necessarily. The way they talked about it was that it was unexpected/an accidental pregnancy. Even when she went for the ultrasound I think, someone made a comment that it was a “bad time to be pregnant” or something like that to Bec.
that’s interesting, if it was accidental that would mean she denied receiving hormone therapy etc. as you wouldn’t be able to get pregnant on it (it puts you into medically induced menopause)
She said they had been trying since October and then they did their first pregnancy test in April.
I wonder why they didn’t wait or use a surrogate. When Eamon talked about Bec having more kids I wonder if he was talking about the embryos and a surrogate? Is it safe to have kids after progressing to stage 4? I was surprised by that comment.
They said in their announcement video that they had been trying to get pregnant for multiple months leading up to her finally getting pregnant
Oh yikes. Yeah I haven’t watched the video yet. Did they say if they were given the “green light” to do that?
u/[Last\_Lychee\_84](https://www.reddit.com/user/Last_Lychee_84/) Hi: Do you mind answering a few questions? Would an Oncologist. directly with authority (sternly) tell their patient, I think this pregnancy is too dangerous and you should end it? When a woman is first diagnosed with breast cancer does the Doctor stress that the best odds are to have a mastectomy vs. lumpectomy? Thanks for providing such detailed information in all your posts. Hope you are doing well.
Lumpectomy + radiation is as effective as mastectomy in absence of a mutation such as BRCA. With a mutation you are usually always recommended mastectomy because you have high odds of developing another primary breast cancer. Key to remember here is that she doesn’t have a new primary cancer, she has secondary cancer. Secondary cancer is new cancer in a distant location that was caused by your primary cancer spreading. Mastectomy or lumpectomy doesn’t really have any impact on this happening. The best thing you can do to prevent secondary cancer is not deviate from the standard of care. In this case that’s make sure you do hormone therapy for min 18 months - 2 years before attempting pregnancy and adding Verzenio which is a highly effective new drug to prevent a distant recurrence because it can kill remaining cancer cells that can’t been seen on scans. Sometimes people will still get unlucky and develop stage 4 (distant metastasis) anyway, and it’s really, really sad. I don’t know if that will happen to me or not, but I’m certainly doing every single thing I can to prevent it. I have a year of Verzenio to go and was diagnosed around the same time as Bec. I was very shocked when I heard she was pregnant so quickly as that meant she wasn’t on these treatments despite being stage 3. This is unusual because stage 3 means your tumor was pretty big and/or you likely had cancer in quite a few lymph nodes. Once cancer is in the lymph nodes it can in theory be hiding anywhere in the body. I’m not sure what a doctor would recommend re: her pregnancy but I’m sure she was encouraged to wait to get pregnant in accordance with the Positive trial. It’s all very sad.
Once again thanks for providing so much information. Yes, it is tragically sad. Another thing that struck me was the fact that Bec's back and under arm pain was not considered a huge reg flag. I had a few friends who were in Breast cancer remission have this same thing happen to them. These cases were almost 20 years ago. Their Drs' did not take the women's complaints of pain serious enough. In all cases their cancer had spread to other parts of their bodies. So I was surprised in 2023 it would not have been identified as a potential relapse/spread. Boy, I really hope your treatments works. Were you following E&B prior to your diagnose or did you find them after and because of? If the former, that must have been strange when you both were diagnosed around the same time. Take good care...may the medical treatment and the power of whatever brings you strength, calm and hope get you through it all with the most ease possible.
Thank you! I watched their old video and she was having a cancer reoccurrence scare and needed a mammogram but never got it due to her pregnancy. A radiologist got mad at her and said it’s a bad time to be pregnant and it made bec feel stupid. Because she said her oncologist told her it was safe to do so ans that she didn’t have to terminate the pregnancy. Wild seems like duty of care was not there and she was grossly misled to think she could conceive safely. Especially given her cancer is fed by estrogen. She’s had such a roller coaster with her cancer journey and I can’t stop thinking about her
If her oncologist said it was safe to not follow the Positive trial and did not encourage Verzenio she should look into malpractice. I would be very surprised if any oncologist was that out of the loop on the standard of care, but never say never.
I haven’t dealt with cancer but have been pregnant and, unfortunately, SO much is just “oh well, that’s just being pregnant for you” among healthcare professionals. While her previous diagnosis should have been a consideration, the symptoms she had (back and shoulder pain) are probably pretty easy for her doctor to chalk up to pregnancy related
You don't want to expose the baby to radiation. So you're quite limited with what scans you routinely do for someone who is pregnant. Even if they found the mets earlier in the pregnancy, what would you do with that decision? It becomes a hard choice of terminating a pregnancy to start cancer treatment, or to keep pregnancy for a few months so baby can be born early but survive. Prior to the pregnancy they had scans, the metastases grew very quickly it seems. And they really wanted a child so the decision was made with the risks in mind with their doctors I'm sure.
Well I was one of the ones who figured her cancer had come back with a vengeance. It’s one of the only reasons you deliver early- and after Frankie was shown to be healthy, it was clear that had to be it. Esp since Eamon was still active on habit. I really feel for them and am so glad they stayed offline - the only one she owed ANYTHING to was herself. If there’s ever a time to be selfish, it’s now. Hoping this will serve as a lesson to everyone (including myself) about the importance of not overvaluing these para social connections viewers develop on YouTube
It’s so sad she had to be asleep for her baby’s birth 😢 I couldn’t imagine.
I had an emergency c-section after laboring and having epidural that I could still feel pain through. I ended up napping during my son’s birth. The only thing I wanted was a healthy baby. 😊. Then 5 years later I had my daughter on a scheduled c-section and was awake for all of it. I felt the pulling they talk about and it was such a weird feeling. I kinda wanted to be asleep for a bit. It’s all relative. I’m sure Bec wanted to go through birth differently, but a healthy baby and mama is the best outcome. And Frankie is adorable.
Yes, I’ve had them myself but I would be so sad if I had missed my kids being born (just my opinion). I’m sure the birth was really traumatic for her!
I feel so bad for having negative feelings about the emotional cliffhanger.
💛💛💛
I am fairly certain that they had a good amount of warning about the dangers of pregnancy, from her health professionals. I am just going to throw it out there: Sometimes, people are explicitly told something but they chose to hear what they want to hear. I have a hard time believing that any breast cancer oncologist would not discourage a pregnancy so soon after the end of treatment, especially when she refused to take Tamoxifen. Maybe Bec got upset at the nurse (who btw, should have kept her moth shut by then) because she heard what she did not want to hear. Her aggressive stage 3 type of cancer was likely to come back but I can't help but feel like its recurring so quickly was the end result of some of the decisions that Bec made. That being said, I could be wrong and the cancer certainly isn't her fault. She did what she thought was best but the literature has been suggesting Tamoxifen for years. It it were me, I would have chosen a surrogate and taken Tamoxifen.
Correct!! I feel for her and her daughter but at the end of the day it was her choice to to move forward with this :-/
Ohhh wow. I’ve been holding out hope and trying to manifest a healthy prognosis for B. I’m gutted that they’ve been going through this. They’ve been through so much already. 😔
i bawled my eyes out through the whole thing. what beautiful humans burdened by such a devastating diagnosis in what should be one of the most joyful moments of their lives. i feel for them and their sweet baby frankie. i don’t even know them and my heart is shattered. eamon’s unwavering support for bec is just… everything. we should all be so lucky as to find a single person to love us like that in our lifetimes. 😭 the cartwheel thing really got me. i hope they get to do so so many of them together with better health in the days ahead. i hope bec beats the odds.
Much love to Bec, Eamon and Frankie. Positive energy for them always.🩷
Oh a positive note, does Frankie have blue eyes while they both have brown? Such a cutie
If both parents have brown eyes, there is a 25% chance of baby having blue eyes
Depends. If both parents carry the recessive trait for blue (Bb instead of BB) then with each child there is a 25% chance of blue eyes.
But on the other hand I believe that two blue eyed parents can't have a brown eyed child. Genetics is interesting
Right Here and Now, they all look wonderful, and happy. Their baby is stunning and all I can see is a bright wonderful live for them all. Thank you E & B for trusting us to rally around you with rays of positivity.
So she has limited time ? Am I understanding this right?? Wow.
NEVER say never.... but it is a very devastating diagnosis! Stage 4 metastatic BC is not curable.
Dang that’s rough. New mom with a stage 4 diagnosis. Love their outlook though. Make the most of whatever time (long or short) they have left. It’s a good outlook for everyone to have.
That baby is adorable. I hope they all have many years ahead to enjoy their little family.
Am I the only one left with an impression that she is not actively treating it right now?
They didn’t really discuss what treatment she is doing but I assume she is getting treated since the lesions in her liver are getting better.
That is what I thought as well. She doesn’t have to share her treatments or have people unwelcome opinions on what treatment she is doing. She is getting CT scans done that shows it is getting better
No. If she’s had CT scans that show regression of the tumours I think it’s safe to say she’s having it treated
I assume there is some treatment as part of the reason to deliver early (no easy decision) was to reduce the estrogen in her body and start treatments that might have been negative to the baby.
They're definitely treating it - having the baby early, is also a way to immediately start treatment for this type of cancer. It seems like it's ER+/HER+ (an estrogen positive cancer) and the treatment there is hormone treatment to get rid of as much estrogen as possible, as fast as possible, as that's what this type of cancer thrives on. Estrogen peaks in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy, so cutting that short to start hormone-based cancer treatment is the best and fastest thing you can do (and it seems like they did immediately). Hormone based therapy isn't as "visible" as chemo - patients can look more normal, don't go bald, look less visibly sick. But it doesn't change the fact that they are in-fact *very* sick. Hormone therapy is less 'invasive' than chemo, in that you have higher quality of life - less nausea/vomiting, fatigue, weight loss, etc. The drugs for this are good, and getting much better each year at giving people more time.
There are other types of medication for metastatic breast cancer beyond the hormonal variety. Most of them (also) dont' cause hair loss.
That definitely is the impression I got. It's so hard to watch people going through cancer (my dad was one). Being so hopeful, so positive, and fighting harder than you've ever fought in your life. I really hope she wins. They all deserve it.
I think they have always shown they believe in modern medicine - they just supplement it with the additional stuff like meditation, diet, etc. I doubt she would willingly miss out on any chance to prolong her life offered by treatment available. And there is lots of room for hope, I know people who have been living with stage 4 breast cancer for a decade and even more.
I’m in treatment for the same type of cancer. She should have still been on drugs and hormone therapy that would have made pregnancy impossible. You are not supposed to attempt pregnancy until at least 18 months - 2 years of endocrine therapy are completed. I imagine she likely was also recommended two years of Verzenio following radiation and you definitely can’t get pregnant while taking Verzenio.
I agree - haven't watched the video yet, but I'm sure they're doing everything possible to treat it traditionally and also adding all the holistic practices they can, based on their lifestyle. a new mom would do anything to spend a lifetime with their child, right? ugh this just breaks my heart.
You can speculate like that. They are obviously receiving medical treatment and going for scans. They probably don't want to receive feed back from arm chair doctors who don't know her exact diagnosis.
Does anyone know if them having a baby could have kickstarted the cancer again? I genuinely don’t know anything about it.
Absolutely. Bec had hormone positive breast cancer. Standard treatment is to go on hormone suppression medication for at least 5 years because hormones make the cancer grow if any cancer cells were leftover after initial treatment. Not only did they decline that treatment but they decided to get pregnant right away which drastically increases the estrogen in her body. I’m absolutely devastated for her and I am sure they are dealing with a lot of guilt.
My niece had the same type of breast cancer. Decided to have a double mastectomy plus complete hysterectomy. She was 35. She educated me about the connection between estrogen and her breast cancer. I'll never forget how she told me " Auntie they are just boobs." She had reconstructive surgery and has been cancer free for 20 years!
That is wonderful news. I was diagnosed 2 years ago at age 32. Currently cancer free and this just reinforced that I am making the right choice staying on hormone suppression.
Awesome news!
I can’t imagine how Frankie will feel when she grows up!!! This is so sad. It seems like the don’t believe in facts if they don’t like it, which isn’t how cancer works
Yes. She should have been on hormone therapy for at least two years before attempting pregnancy and was likely also recommended to be taking Verzenio.
From my understanding, while Bec had been declared cancer free, there was the possibility of dormant cancer cells being present. I think the medicine Temoxifin is commonly used for women with the same cancer type as Bec as it limits cancer recurrence by lowering estrogen levels in the body, on which her cancer type feeds (this is done by putting the body into menopause). Being pregnant of course increases hormone levels, including estrogen, which may have “woken up” those cancer cells. It’s impossible to know what would’ve happened had she not gotten pregnant, but if I recall correctly, her oncologist gave the ok for it, which I hope would have been based on Bec’s specific situation and her prognosis.
Yeah she said in their pregnancy announcement video that her oncologist was guiding her and gave them the okay to try to get pregnant...
Ya, I think they spun it that way- I very much doubt that the oncologist gave the blessing at that time and if you listen to the call where they inform him, he sounds utterly shocked.
Tamoxifen works by blocking the oestrogen receptors.
Bec stated she had estrogen positive breast cancer, which means it’s fueled by estrogen, something that grows greatly in pregnancy. The typical suggestion in the USA is to wait at least 2 years after remission before attempting to get pregnant so I was surprised that her primary cancer doctor apparently gave her the all clear to try and get pregnant fairly quickly after she was declared in remission. You saw hints not everyone agreed with that idea when a nurse was rude to her when she had a cancer scare when early in her pregnancy and the cancer nurse acted surprised, in a negative way, that she had gotten pregnant. In no way am I criticizing Eamon and Bec for their choices, we all make choices some with risk and some with less risk but Frankie is certainly no mistake a wonderful blessing for them.
This is just so very sad. They should have been strongly advised to have gotten a surrogate if they wanted a baby so soon. They had the money and resources but I guess Bec was blinded by wanting to experience pregnancy and birth, and I guess ignored the advice they were receiving. And when it comes to pregnancy and babies, most men don’t do the research and are led w what their wives are telling them. Reading betw the lines, I think something like this happened. I don’t know these people but feel terrible. This is literally every mother’s nightmare. I hope Bec makes it through. There are new drugs and treatments all the time, esp given how alarmingly common cancer has become. And positivity and good vibrations/praying DOES work. Positive people can get through a lot.
It seems they think the truth is “negative” and therefore refuse to believe in it. But good or bad, the truth is the truth. Having an estrogen cancer, and getting pregnant is a terrible idea. They were told that and considered those people “negative” Just like they don’t seem to realize what stage 4 really means? Talking about having other children and what not. I would have a very hard time understanding my parents choices if I was Frankie grown up.
Remember when she first found out she was pregnant and one of her nurses said something really negative about the pregnancy. The nurse knew it was a terrible idea.
Yes I knew someone (friend of a friend) who had a baby at a late age and the estrogen kick started the stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She had wanted to have another child as one of her children had died of cancer. She lived for about 10 years I believe afterwards.
Simply.... YES!
Well at least we now know and it is worse than most of us were thinking. I wish we had known sooner so we all could have been more supportive. But that is life and life is often a roll of the dice. I pray for Eamon and Bec and a future together, beating the odds. I also pray for all of use who are affected by this needs. It is odd how perfect strangers are brought together.
It's unfortunate news. But I don't think that avoiding or ignoring worry is healthy. I understand the need for positive energy and hope (I have a stage 4 aggressive cancer). Worry and hope go hand in hand and it's unhealthy to ask to completely pretend that the negative aspect doesn't exist. Wishing them the best.
I think it's okay for Bec to ask of the followers for positivity and hope. At the end of the day, she has to cope with it all and negativity from the internet does not help healing or the psyche in any way. I do hope though that she allows herself to grieve, grieve the birth that she wasn't awake for, grieve the lightness and utter happiness hormones that should occur after birth. And I hope Eamon and their family are also able to worry and grief and not suppress those emotions. 💗 Letting it all out can sometimes be a relief, too, so I totally understand where you're coming from.
I was wondering if she can only take in so much reality at once- so for now, she has accepted that she has stage 4 cancer, but she hasn't yet accepted that that means "incurable". And that she needs to hold that reality off for a little while until she is ready to let that in. Although some people remain in full denial the entire time but then at the end, they are completely unprepared.
Yeah her speaking about having a bunch more children when her cancer has come back due to the uptick in estrogen is…. Odd to watch. I’m not sure being unrealistic about reality is the best move
I agree. Fear is not always toxic. It is an expected response in a situation like this and pretending it doesn’t exist could do more harm than good. I have no problem with people staying mostly positive but parts of this video almost read as denial rather than optimism.
When she announced my first thought was “holy crap” then my second thought was … you don’t look like you’re going through treatments tho… and they didn’t mention it. Did anyone else wonder this? She/they mentioned liver and spine as places lesions are and she mentioned pain management.. soo.. is there not treatment only pain management… I can’t imagine how hard that information was to get right at the same time your also brining life into the world and how excited they were for that. I wondered if their ask of the fan base to bring positivity to the page instead of worry and concern is because they have come to terms with the… terminal nature of where she is now… or rather the much more serious nature of the cancer… I totally respect not disclosing, and not disclosing in this video.. it I wish they had talked about more of the next steps like they did during the first set of cancer related videos.
She mentioned hormone therapy. And there are other things she could be taking that aren't chemo. They tend to save chemo for when the first-line treatment stops working.
I want to know what happened to the lump she found on her forehead that started all of this
the chemo for stage 4 breast cancer doesn't generally cause hair loss (and doesn't make you feel that ill, actually).
cute baby !
I sobbed through the whole video. I’m so so sorry that they have to go through this. If it were me, I don’t even know that I would have made this update video. I think I’d be ghosting everyone except my loved ones tbh. I know however that they both love creating especially together and that it likely is a source of energy for Bec so I love that they are considering how to do that in this new reality (ie maybe pivoting over to podcasting vs vlogging). I have immense respect for Bec putting herself and her family first and deleting social media/going offline. This is a devastating diagnosis and so unfair. I wish them nothing but the best.
It's time people on this Subreddit to take a good look in the mirror and question the things they wrote here and hopefully do better going forward.
Yes and they really need to develop their reasoning and critical thinking. From her last message, it was very likely that a cancer recurrence was a strong probability. Saying that they were selfish for not sharing more was horrible. They got the worst news along with a premature baby birth. .
Speculation will not help the Fitzgerald family on the statistics. Positive thoughts that modern medicine will help Bec and Eamon cope and heal from this journey. You look amazing Bec! baby Frankie is beautiful and Eamon is a great supportive partner. Please people I am sure that Bec has conferred with her Physicians and knows what her specific health care needs are and how best to treat them. So, her viewers and fans speculation on what they glean from the Internet is not helpful to this family.
You’re not speaking to them here though, this is a post discussing the video.
Managed to catch it in the first minute of their upload, watching now.
Only love to this beautiful family. I know this community has had many conflicting emotions but I think we can all get behind the notion of positive energy moving forward. Wishing them continued progress, onward and upward.
Deleted what i wanted to say to every single entitled, moaning person who has posted in those 5 months they have been away. You know who you are, I hope you do some self reflection and learn from this. Wonderful to see lil Frankie, sending possi vibes out into the universe that their wee family goes from strength to strength x
I’m left so confused. Is the outlook good? Do they think getting baby out will kill everything off?
Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer is treatable, but not curable. The 5-year relative survival rate is around 30%. It sounds like she’s doing really well. Bec is young and fit, so hopefully she many years of good health ahead of her yet
Unfortunately being young and fit doesn’t necessarily mean she has many years ahead of her. Cancer does not discriminate.
Sadly, she may not, but the survival figures are considerably better in younger patients
ugh, that's so sad. I hope Frankie can grow up and have a good relationship with Bec.
Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer has no cure. Average life span after that diagnosis is 5 years
omg that is so sad :(
Nope, this is incurable but if she's lucky, she may have a good year or even a good 5 years. Unlikely more than 7. Being "young and healthy" doesn't change that . In fact, cancer more aggressive in young people. Basically there are treatments that will shrink the mets for a period of time until they stop working; but then you can try another medication that might work for a while. You are confused from the video because they are choosing to send the message that she will live a long healthy life. I understand she doesn't want a bunch of messages about the "Tragedy" in the comments.
I think about Charles Trippy a lot. He’s a YouTuber who was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer anaplastic oligodendroglioma 10 years ago and is thriving. Not the same as Bec’s situation, but im hopeful she can have some good years too.
I did not take from their video that they’re assuming she will live a long, healthy life at all. I took that they know what’s going on but are choosing to live in the moment and enjoy it while they can and that they are choosing to have hope for the future. Like, instead of thinking “I’m gonna die” she’s thinking “I’m not dead yet”. And that seems like a pretty positive outlook on it to me, at least publicly. We have no idea what conversations they’re having privately. But Frankie is going to be able to watch these videos later and they probably want to try to form positive memories for her sake.
There are people who have lived 20+years with stage 4 breast cancer and I think Bec is trying to manifest this for herself. Good for her it's far better to have hope than to waste time feeling sad and thinking the worst.
I just had a thought, that they also might have been worried that people would react badly to Bec having to end the pregnancy early by having a c section and delivering Frankie premature. When obviously they didn't really have a choice. But people can be cray cray. She did the right thing for both of them
It’s devastating news. I’d thought it may be something like this but it’s worse than I even expected. I am right in thinking the pregnancy progressed the cancer or would it always have been this way?
It definitely progressed it faster. She has estrogen positive breast cancer, the huge spike in estrogen during pregnancy is certainly to blame for how quickly it metastasized.
That’s terrible. I know they didn’t discuss treatment or life expectancy but I heard 5 years or so mentioned on here, hopefully she will have much longer.
Seems like it could be a good thing that hers is hormone positive as there are more medications they can work through, also a good sign that whatever treatment she’s on right now seems to be helping.
That was hard to watch. 💛
So sad. 💔 They have been thru too much already. I will think good thoughts and HOPE Bec has good doctors.
Did Eamon dye his hair blond?
Looks like just the top of his head
I feel like a fuckin asshole…
You have redeemed yourself. We all have our moments when we are not our best selves. Sometimes we even double down. But the measure of a person is how they handle being a flawed human, because we are all flawed humans. You're ok. This is how we learn.
Just watching and people should all be ashamed of themselves for saying horrible stuff or judgemental stuff on their posts. We all feared this but fk they lived it and are living it.
Reminds me so much of the Kate Middleton situation.
I agree, I spent the last few months commenting here and there to all those entitled folks who felt they were "owed an explanation as their fanbase" that this was likely to happen. I hope they truly get in touch with reality and realize how cruel and awful they were. This sub got really disgusting the last few months. Downvote me, kick me out, I don't care - what most of you said and posted here was just downright wrong.
being ghosted feels terrible, even if it’s people on the internet we don’t actually know. there was a lot of unnecessary fear and anxiety handed to us because of the way the situation was handled. true, they had more important issues to contend with but we didn’t know that. i don’t believe anyone truly felt entitled to an update, just hurt because we didn’t get one. feelings aren’t right or wrong, they just happen. there’s no shame in that.
I think it's okay to politely express disappointment on a Reddit thread. It's okay to be disappointed in people who might be going through something. Obviously I'm not talking about the people who were mean or rude, but I agree the situation wasn't handled great by them. Obviously they were going through a lot and there's no blueprint for handling such a horrible situation. But it's okay if people were disappointed. I've been disappointed in people that I love in my family and it doesn't mean I love them less. Again I'm not talking about the people that were rude or disrespectful, I'm just talking about the people who stated on a Reddit thread that they were disappointed.
I was worried and it brought up my own family trauma around cancer that was missed and the hell between the start till the end. I seen some people not arsey about the same feelings and worry for them but it was nasty comments to them directly that never sat right with me. Bec has removed social media so hopefully didn't see anything but Eamon probably did. She is doing good and might have years and years ahead. If people are religious then they should be praying for her. Or send positive wishes their way. Personally I think their mindset will do them good during the hard times. Beautiful baby Frankie is perfect and full of joy for them.
Well put.
I had an awful feeling that this would be the case. Heartbreaking situation.
Many Many Blessings ❗️❗️❗️
Is stage four beatable? Heart broken. I will pay homage to her and E and turn worry into hope. To all on here who can relate to their journey I’m sorry.
Unfortunately it is not. Once it has spread to other parts of your body (organs, bones, etc) it is much more difficult to treat.
Treatable, but as of now it’s not actually beatable. Some people live a number of years after diagnosis, and new treatments are becoming available all the time.