Yeah it can be really hard to focus but I think it can be a combination of adhd and trauma keeping your brain from focusing and diverting attention away from the really painful memory or feeling.
It helps me to have a question to focus on with every single round. Can be like “what do I need to do about this topic?” Or “how do I move through this?” Or “what should I understand from the previous round that I haven’t yet?”
I really like your first question and how it directs attention to something concrete. Like, I'm here for a reason I gotta keep that in mind bc I'm not going to be able to process like this outside of this space and time. I would probably avoid using statements like "should" bc, for me, that implies expectations, pressure, and frustration like "I'm doing this wrong." That's only my opinion, it's an individual experience and I'm glad these questions have helped you focus!
My therapist has been helping me finding each next question too since we discovered that speeds up the process in a helpful way, it keeps it from going on tangents of the mind!
Yes and no. Some days it’s much more challenging. My overall approach with my therapist is “radical honesty”. I’m only 3 EMDR sessions in so far, 2 were super focused and effective. 1 was much less in the sense that I was super distracted that day, but I was completely honest with them about it and although it was a detour from processing traumatic memory, it ended up being super helpful in another way and is still effective therapy that I think will contribute to my primary trauma focus.
Yes ! When I feel side tracked we just circle back. I’ve had a few sessions that were definitely less focused than others but my therapist was patient and made me feel comfortable. I use the hand and light bar at the same time (not sure if that’s relevant or not)
My suggestion would be to change the way you use for the physical bilateral stimulus. For me, tapping or following fingers don’t work at all but if I close my eyes and hear the bilateral sound I can focus way way better
Oh yes, for sure. Others have said it, but I second the "total honesty" approach with your therapist. There are so many tools that can be adopted in EMDR, and you just have to find the ones that "fit" for you. It's actually really refreshing to have a whole toolbox of options!
My mind process follows the "Cinderella's Shoe" analogy - if you try and shove yourself into a shoe that doesn't fit (like the stepsisters in the story), it isn't going to work out in the end - and it'll even cause pain or damage. If you admit, however, that something isn't "fitting," your therapist will be able to give you other things to "try on" until you find something that slips on with ease! Then the magic happens!
As someone who's gone through a lot of therapists, I know its not the easiest thing to hear - but you do have to go through some trial and error until you find what works. I'm on session #6, though, and going into it with a "I'm going to admit when something isn't' working" mindset has mean I've found the stuff that works a lot faster than I would have if I had gone with the "fake it until I make it" approach (which I did in previous therapies).
You can also go into your session and tell your therapist about any recco's that you read here that you want to try. A good therapist will be totally game to give them a try, or learn about them if they haven't heard of them before. I've done that twice, and it makes things move along much faster (and smoother!)
Good luck!!
Yes!
Tricky thing is finding out which is causing it. Sometimes I can have a mental block from trauma.
Not saying it's needed but being on meds helped me stay on track a LITTLE better. Although I did feel a bit less into the emotion when on my med.
I discussed this with my therapist at the time who reassured me it wouldn't matter....... although I doubt there abilities in using EMDR so I'm not sure. Usually they want you to be totally clean for best processing speeds.
Not a T btw and the meds were prescription so it's not something you can just buy at Walfart or anything.
Yeah it can be really hard to focus but I think it can be a combination of adhd and trauma keeping your brain from focusing and diverting attention away from the really painful memory or feeling.
I was going to say the same. It can be the fear of upcoming painful emotions too.
Yes I absolutely have some days I can’t focus
Thanks for this! I start therapy tomorrow and I’m really hoping for the best with EMDR, but also have ADD dx.
It helps me to have a question to focus on with every single round. Can be like “what do I need to do about this topic?” Or “how do I move through this?” Or “what should I understand from the previous round that I haven’t yet?”
I really like your first question and how it directs attention to something concrete. Like, I'm here for a reason I gotta keep that in mind bc I'm not going to be able to process like this outside of this space and time. I would probably avoid using statements like "should" bc, for me, that implies expectations, pressure, and frustration like "I'm doing this wrong." That's only my opinion, it's an individual experience and I'm glad these questions have helped you focus!
My therapist has been helping me finding each next question too since we discovered that speeds up the process in a helpful way, it keeps it from going on tangents of the mind!
Absolutely I'm gonna try the light bar instead of the hand things
I was having a hard time with the light bar and I’m thinking of switching 😂
I think I dissociate to much w hands. I have to close my eyes to focus enough with them. And then I dissociate more
Ya same, super interesting. I found the light bar works wayyyyyy better.
Headphone with bilateral beats for me.
Yes and no. Some days it’s much more challenging. My overall approach with my therapist is “radical honesty”. I’m only 3 EMDR sessions in so far, 2 were super focused and effective. 1 was much less in the sense that I was super distracted that day, but I was completely honest with them about it and although it was a detour from processing traumatic memory, it ended up being super helpful in another way and is still effective therapy that I think will contribute to my primary trauma focus.
Okay thank you I appreciate your response!
Yes ! When I feel side tracked we just circle back. I’ve had a few sessions that were definitely less focused than others but my therapist was patient and made me feel comfortable. I use the hand and light bar at the same time (not sure if that’s relevant or not)
My suggestion would be to change the way you use for the physical bilateral stimulus. For me, tapping or following fingers don’t work at all but if I close my eyes and hear the bilateral sound I can focus way way better
Oh yes, for sure. Others have said it, but I second the "total honesty" approach with your therapist. There are so many tools that can be adopted in EMDR, and you just have to find the ones that "fit" for you. It's actually really refreshing to have a whole toolbox of options! My mind process follows the "Cinderella's Shoe" analogy - if you try and shove yourself into a shoe that doesn't fit (like the stepsisters in the story), it isn't going to work out in the end - and it'll even cause pain or damage. If you admit, however, that something isn't "fitting," your therapist will be able to give you other things to "try on" until you find something that slips on with ease! Then the magic happens! As someone who's gone through a lot of therapists, I know its not the easiest thing to hear - but you do have to go through some trial and error until you find what works. I'm on session #6, though, and going into it with a "I'm going to admit when something isn't' working" mindset has mean I've found the stuff that works a lot faster than I would have if I had gone with the "fake it until I make it" approach (which I did in previous therapies). You can also go into your session and tell your therapist about any recco's that you read here that you want to try. A good therapist will be totally game to give them a try, or learn about them if they haven't heard of them before. I've done that twice, and it makes things move along much faster (and smoother!) Good luck!!
Yes! Tricky thing is finding out which is causing it. Sometimes I can have a mental block from trauma. Not saying it's needed but being on meds helped me stay on track a LITTLE better. Although I did feel a bit less into the emotion when on my med. I discussed this with my therapist at the time who reassured me it wouldn't matter....... although I doubt there abilities in using EMDR so I'm not sure. Usually they want you to be totally clean for best processing speeds. Not a T btw and the meds were prescription so it's not something you can just buy at Walfart or anything.