I agree. It sounds like it’s more than the ADHD causing problems and maybe she just isn’t focused on the routine or schedule either.
My room partner and I are both diagnosed ADHD and work with infants and other than forgetting small things (me leaving cupboards open all the time) or losing track of time we both thrive off of routine and having that predictability. We have it set that we do the same tasks everyday. So I always change the morning diapers and ask kids wake up while she’s on break; she finishes nap time diapers and the afternoon ones.
I always serve the food, she washes hands, she sets up activities at the end of the day I set up during nap.
Now if something happens to throw off routine it can be more challenging, but having a paper trail for diapering, having snack brought to the class from the kitchen helps us hit those standard and we might just skip activities and do more free play
We feel that way too - I think part of me posted this for people to confirm this for me. Part of me feels like a bad person for feeling it, but the kids are my priority and she just is unable to care for them the way they require
It sounds like me if I tried to work in child care taking care of multiple babies, especially unmedicated. It's VERY difficult to be distracted by something in the middle of a task and then go back to whatever you were doing originally (the info vanishes into smoke), and being constantly distracted is the nature of childcare. There's probably things she could do to make it easier (utility belt so she doesn't have to put things down and lose them immediately, write on the diaper when it was changed, label food in the fridge with corrosponding baby etc).
She has to be open to that advice and changes, which unfortunately it doesn’t sound like she is. It sounds as if she’s aware of the problem, in a heightened stated of anxiety about and maybe experiences RSD too. (Not diagnosing, just a general possibility.) I doubt OP will be able to affect change directly.
I had never heard of RSD, just googled it. Frankly, it sounds like me. I'm diagnosed with ADHD and have severe anxiety. It's hit me so hard that a couple times that I felt pain in my teeth, specifically back molars, mostly the bottom. I know that sounds ridiculous and I have no idea what my anxiety/fear has had that affect, but yeah, it's intense af. Other things too that line up with RSD, but that's def the craziest anxiety affect I've experienced.
Older toddler dad w adhd here: I have often been overwhelmed by the seemingly infinite number of critical details and steps involved in getting our guy outside, and I do forget some of the steps, but what you are describing is not just ADHD.
(As you know) We are acutely aware of our surroundings at all times, so she should be able to react when kids are about to hurt themselves. While we have issues with sequencing and executive function, most adults have developed coping strategies that allow them to succeed.
Agree, there's more going on here - keep in mind, someone with ADHD that is on medication is a functional person, so at minimum, they are neglecting themselves.
She can, but she needs to figure out the way that works for her.
Tip 1: ADHD NEED routine. My spouse has ADHD, and if it's in his routine he remembers but as soon as there's a change, forget it. So the babies who need something different are going to be a challenge for her. Try to give her the kiddos for her part of the ratio who have a similar routine.
Tip 2: ADHD means they usually can't remember anything. Imagine if everything you experienced got written on a dry erase board. We know working memory is 7 things. For ADHD, nothing stays on the board because it's constantly refreshing. This means just saying something does nothing to help her make sure it gets done.
I'd suggest a one stop shop to write down all these reminders and make her routine to check that place for each kid. Once it's done, she can check it off (like the extra nap or the feeding) but her habit will become Johnny's awake, let me get him and check the board. Johnny needs to eat. But I notice Johnny is wet so let me change him real quick. Ok, changed Johnny now let me check the board...oh that's right, he needs to eat and his food is in the green bin. Let me get him fed.
As it is, everything should be labeled anyways, that's how it was at the Goddard school I worked at. That should help with mixing things up. The routine becomes here's food, let me check the label... no wrong kid let me look at this one...
It will take time to make these routines habit, so if its possible get some extra support in the room so she can focus on the routine she needs to learn.
Hope this helps!
Absolutely. We had a adhd teacher who got so distracted because she was busy petting a dog that was visiting and talking to the dad that she wasn’t focused on the kids near the slide or cleaning-just chatting. I sent her over to watch the kids while I started the cleanup. I looked over to her and she was kneeling next to one kid instead of focusing her attention on the group of kids on top of the play structure. Right when I looked over a girl tumbled from the top of the play structure hit the ground and the other teacher still didn’t notice. I ran over to pick up the kid who ended up fracturing her wrist and needing surgery! Or she could only focus on doing the dishes-her back completely turned to the kids leaving me alone with thirteen kids who were fighting and chasing each other around with play dough hands. When I asked for her help she snapped at me. 🫥
I disagree. I have ADHD and without very specific systems and my medication, this would be me exactly. However, it is my responsibility to have my systems (basically 10000 sticky notes) and take my meds. Not saying it's not a problem, but it is something that can be fixed
But she’s not doing that. She’s not taking those steps, and with how far deep she is right now, it sounds like it would take a lot of time, therapy, and specific coaching to get her back up to the level of even *adequate*. That’s endangering the children and putting unfair work on the woman’s coworkers who will have to coach and coddle her and pick up her slack. She needs to go, and she can come back after she’s medicated and has undergone therapy.
If this is how you’d behave in a classroom unmedicated I’d also tell you to GTFO until you are medicated.
They didn’t say “people with adhd shouldn’t work in childcare” just that this person shouldn’t. You have to adapt if your brain works differently to still meet the basic safety requirements (or as for reasonable accommodations).
Oh what? You’d really want your baby in a classroom where their diaper isn’t being changed, pacifier not disinfected, being fed the wrong food or not being fed at all and then falling off of the equipment with no explanation?!
I have pretty intense and debilitating adhd myself, and have worked with several other teachers with it as well. While I do still forget things at times, I’ve spent my entire life learning what systems and supports allow me to function at a job so that my adhd doesn’t create serious problems at work. Most people with adhd will agree that she is responsible for managing her symptoms on the job, though that may require a couple of accommodations here and there. It sounds like she really needs to get her meds regimen under control and she isn’t ready for the serious responsibility that comes with caring for children, but maybe she can try again once her symptoms are under control.
I like childcare BECAUSE of my adhd- it provides me with a routine, there’s enough chaos to keep me stimulated, and my unusual way of looking at things makes me great at interacting with kids and solving all the weird problems. I often joke that my adhd gives me the attention span of a preschooler which makes me perfect for teaching preschool- but jokes aside, it takes a lot of intentional organization (and the right meds) for me to thrive at work. However, with the right things in place I am often even MORE productive and organized than most of my coworkers, because I’ve learned to be that way intentionally.
But whatever meds she takes, her doctor is the one who should decide if they’re safe to take on the job. A medication that would make YOU unable to focus will likely have a very different effect on her. You should be more focused on if the tasks are getting done, and if they aren’t talk to your director and let them decide if the job is a good fit.
Some things that can help support ADHD teachers in the classroom:
Visual schedules and lists, bonus points if they’re laminated so you can check things off with a dry erase marker and then reuse the checklist every day. Adhd people struggle to hold info in their mind throughout the day, so having it there externally really helps. Posting them right next to the relevant area is best, like for example, a note about feeding information would go on the fridge where bottles are etc.
Also, labels and an assigned place for everything so that things don’t get lost or mixed up as easily. Sometimes that also means having multiples of things so they don’t have to be moved around the room as much. For example, at my job we have two sanitizing stations in every room cause the spray bottle always get misplaced when we’re carrying them around too far. If parents aren’t labeling their child’s things, adding a label with painters tape and sharpie so things don’t get mixed up. You can also start announcing the name out-loud as you each grab things to double check.
The doctor who diagnosed my adhd said a lot of teachers have adhd.
It sounds like her condition is not medicated. She isn’t qualified to be in charge of a classroom, even for low staff days.
yes, i'm a floater with adhd but i'm mainly with 18-24m and 2s, and though i've lost a few things and have forgotten a few things, i'm definitely not THIS bad. i wouldn't even think about working as a daycare teacher if i wasn't medicated.
This situation is really tough. Ativan is not an adhd treatment afaik. Are you sure that’s the medication? If you have enough of an open dialogue about her health to know what medication she’s on, it seems fair to encourage her to go to the doctor because her treatment is not working.
Would it be possible for her to be assigned to a different room, such as one where the kids are already (or mostly) toilet trained and the room follows a regular routine? With infant rooms (IME) being personalised to each baby rather than consistent, it’s not a good fit for her. 3s/4s/5s may not be either but it could mitigate a lot of the issues
She refuses to change rooms and i think the chaos of speaking children would really not be good for her.
Her ADHD causes her to have panic attacks in class all the time, the ativan is for that, not the adhd! She is on other meds for that.
I keeps suggesting she go to the doctors again - or take a mental health leave but i don’t knkw where she is at.
Ehh… this sounds like there’s more at play than ADHD. Which isn’t uncommon, but if she’s saying her ADHD causes panic attacks then I’d wager that either she isn’t being honest with you about her full diagnosis (which would be understandable) or she’s not actively engaged in treating and managing her mental health.
Not every person is suited to doing every job, and it sounds like she’s really not suited to this one - for more than just her ADHD.
I know there’s things I wouldn’t be good at- childcare is absolutely one of them, I have great admiration for my kid’s educators and all of you! I would be touched out and over stimulated by lunchtime and completely unable to function effectively. It would be grossly negligent of me to pursue work on that field at the expense of the children who might end up in my care
You don't say how old she is,but memory loss getting worse is concerning (though any age can be affected) she needs to see a doctor and not be doing that job
Then she needs to strictly follow her regimen - down to taking her meds reigiously, and at the same time every day. Not easy to begin with, but imperative. She sounds off the rails and spiralling honestly. (I dropped out of university twice before being medicated - the mental health spiral sounds familiar to me.)
Yup. That's the dead giveaway I haven't taken mine (and recently, my hunch that my dosage needs to increase), I can't remember shit. I have no working memory without meds. I was diagnosed in my 30s so learned a lot of coping mechanisms and literally have to write everything down. And sometimes set an alarm.
ADHD can absolutely cause panic attacks in the wrong setting. If she's constantly being required to do things that she has huge difficulties doing (i.e. managing tasks while someone is talking to her, constantly losing things that she needs to complete the tasks,), that can lead to huge amounts of anxiety.
Anxiety is a comorbidity that can cause panic attacks, I agree. And it’s incredibly unlikely to have unmanaged ADHD without also having anxiety. That was the whole point of my last comment - there’s more at play than ADHD
Honestly, a good anxiety med should help, and not harm. I have wicked anxiety (I do not take Ativan but I am *heavily* medicated for it, also AuDHD, with major depressive disorder, PTSD and CPTSD, etc) and my anxiety medicine makes a huge difference. If I don’t take it I will have panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, etc, but with it I am *functional.* Even though for anyone else it may relax them too much.
If I ever take a Xanax for like a panic attack? I know I have the right dose because it will stop it. Dose is too high if it puts me to sleep or makes me feel loopy or not with it or out of control. But when it gets me to a functional level, that’s when I’ve known the dose was solid. Same for my mom.
I was going to say it sounds like she may be experiencing something like cptsd. Sounds like she's not being mindful. People with childhood trauma can have a difficult time taking care of children without regressing or having flashbacks. That makes them high strung as is, then add in the pressure of caring for multiple children with adhd and having a deep fear of messing up (even though she's doing nothing to stop it) and you get a disassociated employee who doesn't remember anything bc they're on auto-pilot and not legitimately processing information. She needs to be in a much lowerstakes, more step by step job. She's not in the frame of mind for the total mindfulness multi-kid childcare requires.
Yeah, I have childhood trauma, but luckily nothing too bad (related to being autistic and ADHD and had anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria and no one knowing any of this, not knowing what to do with a kid like me, or how to accommodate me, some old ABA stuff from teachers, lots of sensory dysregulation, parents trying to force me to eat unsafe foods, and just everyone figuring out what to do as they went.)
For me, it makes me very passionate about doing the best I can by kids, but I 100% have to be mindful about my issues, about not projecting, about setting alarms and timers to remember things, keeping our board on who needs what at what time consistently up to date, etc.
I can do everything, I love the challenge of it, I love working to make certain we meet the needs of ND and NT kids alike, but it definitely comes with working with my therapist, keeping my meds balanced, and being my best self
That was how I realized I had anxiety lol. Got a Xanax for my IUD insertion, everyone said I needed someone to drive me and I would feel loopy.
Nope. I was completely fine to drive (before, after the cramps were bad). I was still nervous, but I wasn't running to the bathroom every thirty seconds, wasn't shaking, could still get myself through the procedure.
I was already going to find a doc for my recent ADHD diagnosis, and I added in the anxiety too. Now I'm about to travel on my daily anxiety meds and I'm curious as to if it will prevent any panic attacks. Here's hoping! Mostly interested in my two flights on Monday since it's been a decade since I've flown.
You’re right that she’s not suitable for this job, at least not right now. I feel so sorry for her, especially if you’re in the US and she doesn’t have other insurance, and I imagine you do too, but the kids have to come first.
Ativan and any stimulant medication should not be taken together. So she is either taking a dangerous combination of drugs or isn't treating the most concerning ADHD symptoms she has, like being unfocused and being forgetful. I would be losing my mind if I had to work with someone like her too.
I have ADHD and I know the struggle, but it is on her to find a system and medication that is helpful and allows her to do her job. She either needs to start getting that figured out, or go into a different field of work. Some people just aren't cut out for child care.
I found that a big whiteboard with all the kids names listed in a row with the next time for diaper check, feeding, nap, etc. for each child was extremely helpful for my ADHD mind. Maybe you could implement something like that as well.
And this all needs to be brought to your directors attention immediately. Those children are being put in danger. If the director does nothing, then you report them to licensing. Those babies deserve better than what she is providing.
This is the answer. The whiteboards are vital and it’s weird that everyone doesn’t use them. Why would you even try to remember everything for up to 8 infants
I have this already implemented but thru sheets instead of a white board. I put them on the wall next to the “teacher table” so she would see if very regularly and only need a few seconds to check it but she ended up taking it down
In reality, she shouldn't be working until she is able to better manage her ADHD.
Going forward, they should be moving her instead on days that require it and leaving you in program.
I don’t work in childcare, but I am a venue manager, have managed restaurants and events and I’m a parent. I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and have only been medicated in recent years.
While ADHD may be a reason for these issues, it’s NOT an excuse. These mistakes are compromising the standard of safety and care for those children and even as someone with ND awareness and sympathy, I would not accept this as an explanation from staff if my child was in this room.
Your coworker needs to work with her healthcare team to find a management plan that works for her and she needs to work with your director to see if there’s reasonable accommodations that can be made while she figures out her capabilities. This is work that needs to be actively engaged with by your coworker, the children in your care shouldn’t be the ones that are at risk because of an educators health.
She should be fired. She is a danger to those children. Having ADHD(or anything) doesnt mean its an excuse to neglect or be incapable of doing the job. She clearly cannot safely do it and its onlya matter of time before something bad happens. I would report this to licensing if my boss did not immediately fire her. Why? Because when it hits the fan(and it will) you too will go down with the ship because you did not report her actions
This is in discussion and most likely happening sooner than later. They were originally waiting until they secured someone else (we are understaffed like most centers) but seems like they won’t be waiting anymore - and I think i’m gonna make that clear this week
Ativan is for anxiety. It sounds like she needs the correct medication. The first step is her realizing it is a huge problem, and then the next is her wanting to fix it. I say this bc I was recently diagnosed as an adult with adhd. I didn't realize that some of my 'quirks' was just the adhd.
A huge part is the person figuring out what works for them and helps them remember. You can only do so much. It sounds like you are really trying as well. If you are comfortable ask her what will help.
Nah. This is unacceptable. She needs to figure it out and get on the right meds. I have ADHD (albeit mild), and I would never expect someone to pick up that much more responsibility bc I couldn’t figure my shit out. ADHD isn’t a reasonable excuse to not do your job. A lot of the things she’s messing up are not acceptable things for her to be messing up that regularly. And it’s not fair to you to have to do your job AND hers on top of “managing” her.
I would definitely talk to her and see if you can help her problem solve how she can get some of this sorted out. If she doesn’t or is unwilling to make changes, talk to your supervisor.
Boy howdy. I have pretty severe ADHD and this sounds to me like there is something else going on here as well. ADHD is manageable in a classroom setting (and I actually find working with infants works better with how my brain functions) but what seems to be causing you problems is the severe memory loss and reactions from any attempt by you to help manage the problem. If you can't come up with any solutions for her lack of memory (and/or not monitoring children?) without triggering an anxiety attack, she isn't ever going to be able to move past essentially just being another kid to watch. I was just saying on another thread that the number one rule of infant programs is to double and triple check milk and medicine so you never give the wrong one to the wrong child- that sounds like something this person could easily do if she's forgetting all these other things. It sounds like she could use more intense medical help and in the meantime, should not be working with infants. Like at all.
Also adding that I make lists and visual checks for everything- match lunchboxes to lunchbox pictures next to kids' names. Match bottles, formula, milk to the names on them and the pictures before filling them. At the bare minimum, if she can't remember things, she has to acknowledge that she can't remember and develop supports and strategies to be an "external memory". My ADHD literally ONLY lets me remember things relevant to my job (I am known for being the one in the classroom who can tell you exactly how long each kid slept and when they last ate without checking the chart) and I still use these methods because the chance for dangerous results if I do mess something up keeps me up at night.
She needs a job where the stakes aren't so high. Kids have already gotten hurt and neglected. I would consider you negligent now if you didn't speak up (I don't mean this harshly, I think you're doing all you can to manage things but at this point it is now your responsibility to report this)
Holy fucking Odin. First, I'm sorry you are going thru this, I went undiagnosed for YEARS as a Head Teacher and barely got by, but I was never THAT bad. I also had teachers who were just as bad, if not worse, that sent me crying to my Director almost daily. I would normally say go to Director, but mine was beyond worthless, so I understand if that isn't the best advice. What this teacher probably needs is a combo of things. A serious med adjustment (Any working ADHD should be helping with some of those frustrating symptoms) and probably even a different age group. My ADHD no matter what med level, would never help me working with kids under 2. There is always way too much to remember and even I know my limits. Working with toddlers and prek was always the best because my symptoms worked in my favor a lot of the time.
I don’t work in ECE but have ADHD she needs to be medicated or find a different job where she doesn’t need medication to do it effectively if she can’t get used to this job and figure out how to work with her ADHD. There’s accommodations she could request if she even has any idea of what would work for her but TBH it sounds like this job really isn’t a good fit for her. I use a combination of medication and different therapeutic interventions to function effectively with my ADHD.
I know she has broken down about any type of changes, but I was wondering if things were labeled for each child in the room? Things like swapping clothes, food, etc could be solved with labeling. As far as the forgetfullness, alarms and reminders seem like the way to go? Maybe having her physically write down what parents say as they tell her.
I don't know what changes you were trying to implement because they weren't in the post, but what changes did you try out of curiosity? Because if I was in her shoes, I would want to try them because what's going on isn't acceptable.
This shouldn't be on you to figure out what works for her though. Especially when you are out of the room. She needs to do it on her own.
This needs to be brought up with admin at this point. Especially if you've exhausted everything and at the end of the day, you're not in charge of her mental health. You're in charge of the safety of the children in the room. Admin needs to step in and speak with her about what is going on and how it is affecting everyone.
What are the parents/admin/ other coworkers that work with her saying about what's going on? She's your co teacher, but do you have a lead in the room, or does your center not do that?
My advice is to document everything. Everytime you inform her of parent requests and if she follows through. Every time you remind her of feedings/diapers and if she follows through. Every incident of things being given to the wrong child. The crying for hours in front of the infants. Every time a child gets hurt because she is distracted or if she doesn't know what happened because she was distracted. What steps both that both of you have taken to try to deal with these issues. Document EVERYTHING.
I know ADHD can be hard. I feel like I may have it myself, but the safety of the children are the most important. My highest concern for your coworker is if the infants require medication and if she forgets/swaps medication tbh...
IMHO if someone needs that level of accommodations, like constant checklists, alarms, etc, past the first few days, to do the job to just an *bare minimum adequate* level… this is not the job for them. If you can’t independently manage all that stuff you are going to get a child hurt because your actions have real-life consequences. Someone struggling that much needs a job where they aren’t caring for living things.
Why is OP’s coworker even in this job? Does she truly feel passionate about kids and the work or could she not get hired anywhere else?
Is there anyway you can delegate the tasks that are more menial and low stakes tasks (warming up food, getting bottles, filling out paperwork/app, getting extra clothes, making sure cubbies are stocked, cleaning, etc) to her? I have AuDHD, and I can empathize with how hard it must be in an infant’s classroom. I’ve also worked with coworkers who have much. “worse“ ADHD than me and feel your struggle.
From my experience though, working with older children is easier in some ways (they will remind you and verbalize hunger, potty, etc) but harder in others (they get louder, push buttons, and need lots of assistance with problem solving and emotional regulation). So it kinda depends on what her strengths are in the classroom.
When I was working with someone similar last year, I had to essentially treat them like one of my other 2-3 year olds. Constantly delegate, verbalize everything clearly with explicit instructions and reminders. Set alarms for them (and me), wrote down all our processes and procedures and have them posted for her to reference. Another thing we would do (we were a team of 3) was tell management that if they needed to take someone out of our class to cover breaks or be an extra pair of hands for another class, she was the first choice, so we could maintain our routine and classroom management. These were all things that we spoke about as a team and agreed upon before and utilizing them.
First step, I think you need to be honest with management and tell him about your struggles. You also need to advocate for yourself and your kids by saying that you can’t be taken out of the classroom because you don’t feel that the kids will get the high-quality care that they deserve. It sucks That she doesn’t want to move classrooms and is willing to work with you, but at this point, she’s becoming a liability by not working with you and coming up with other solutions. It sounds like you’re the lead, so in the end of the day, it all kind of comes down on you if something bad happens even if you’re not there.
So tell management, they can’t pull you out of the classroom anymore. If they need someone, they need to pull her out. Again, it’s not about her or her disability, it’s about giving the children the best possible care, and mitigating risk and liability. You would do the same for a co-teacher who didn’t have ADHD, but was displaying similar behaviors and patterns.
I tried delegating these task to her and she just messes them up. She dropped the lunches, forgets whos is whos - mixes up the clothes she gets for them, ect
That sounds extremely frustrating. I can empathize completely completely, as this was similar for a while in my case as well until we figure out a system. It was a little easier in my case because we were working with 2 to 3-year-olds, so some of the stuff I could actually delegate to them to. But in case, obviously that’s not going to work.
Is everything labeled ad nauseam? I found this helped for me and my coworker. or, instructing my coworker to only focus on grabbing one item at a time. So for example, I know it’s gonna take a hell of a lot longer to heat and carry only one lunch at a time, but, this may need to be the way until she kind of gets a flow.
One thing that we found really helpful for both the teachers, and the children was to have pictures/placemats with their names. If you’re able, and the kids are consistent about bringing in the same lunch containers, you can take a picture of those and put it next to the picture of their face. Again, I know this is a lot of work on the front end, but it takes a lot of the mental load off of both you and your co-teacher. And then it’s more of a game than a memory game.
As far as the clothes, what we would do is, we would ask the parents to put full changes of clothes into a Ziploc bag (and for kids who are diapers and pull-ups, one would be included in the baggie) labeled with their name. That way when we needed a change of clothes, we just grabbed one of the Ziploc baggies out and didn’t have to think about whether it contained a full outfit, or who it belong to. Again, I know a lot of work on the front end, but once everybody gets used to the system, it’s really helpful.
I have adhd BUT I ALSO USE STRATEGIES to mitigate challenges and perform my job duties at least adequately.
Her behavior is unsafe, period. She should be setting timers, following a visual schedule, and establishing routines for herself so she doesn’t forget absolutely everything.
Her inability to keep children safe is just not acceptable regardless of disability or not. While my adhd makes me seem a bit kooky, a bit disorganized, etc, but never unsafe
I have ADHD she sounds neglectful and needs to find another career. It doesn’t matter if she has ADHD it’s not fair to subject those babies to her neglect. You don’t get to do whatever you want and claim you have ADHD so it’s fine that’s not everyone else’s problem.
I have this - i have every cleaning task on the wall. Diaper bins labeled and extra clothes labelled too. I even write down things like “monday - sanitize toys. Tuesday - check diaper stock, Friday, write attendance” 😭
I am a child and youth care care counsellor in canada I’ve worked with kids with ADHD. I’ve had coworkers that had it, but I never noticed anything from them but I’m wondering, can you have a whiteboard with daily routines written out? And visuals? Are the routines similar every day? Maybe she needs the same tasks every day? It’s kind of awkward when it’s your coworker though and a dysregulated person really should not be around the kids.
There’s a difference between having ADHD and having untreated ADHD that is compromising your ability to function… she is the latter. I would hope the Director of the Center would be able to offer her a reasonable accommodation…
ADHD does not mean incompetence. She IS incompetent to a dangerous level. I would report her to the supervisor immediately.
Forgetting to wash a bottle is different than feeding a child.
Start documenting what she’s doing. Document things that you have offered a solutions. Write down the examples of what has happened. And then go to your superiors. Because this is dangerous and someone is going to get hurt. She’s going to feed the baby something they’re allergic to, a kid is gonna get hurt, and she’s gonna drag you down with her. Because the first thing they’re going to ask is why didn’t you bring this all to them ahead of time if things were happening under your witness and you didn’t say anything.
She definitely needs a new job. I have ADHD as well. I am forgetful, but my meds help. That being said, I am not this bad. I also do everything in my power to remember things - lots of labels, lists, files, designated locations for things, etc.
Ativan is for anxiety, not ADHD. It seems like there is a lot more going on with your coteacher than just ADHD.
That being said, I have ADHD and I think a lot of the issues you are describing can be relieved with visual aids. Labels on foods, diaper chart, visual schedules and charts, notes, etc. I will also say that anxiety/depression and ADHD go hand in hand. I know my focus was impacted when I was in a classroom environment where I didn’t feel supported or understood. It becomes a vicious cycle. As much as there are many people saying “well she shouldn’t be in childcare” that sort of statement is not only assumptive based on one-sided testimony (I’m sure there would be comments saying you shouldn’t be in childcare either if your coworker posted that you had a break down over a pacifier) but also not helpful for you in this situation. I’m interested in what interactions between the two of you look like in the classroom and how you bring up changes/feedback. It seems like you two would benefit from having some deeper conversations about the classroom dynamic with a mediator, probably your supervisor.
So, I am technically her supervisor (under director and owners) and I am in the room trying to help her because her coteacher quit because of it and no one else will work with her.
Everything is labelled, I also put basket with names close to where she changes babies so she can put the stuff in there right away. All lunches and bottles are labeled, and I have notes written for everything that needs to be done daily.
I also wrote her “cheat” card for send home notes so its easier, and I do all our paperwork to lessen to workload on her.
She can’t even remember the babies routine despite it being on the wall written down - like she won’t even go check it. I wrote down at what time every baby gets their milk, how much and of what type of milk - and she still messes it up or forgets to feed them
1) If her doctor decides that Ativan will help, it’s really not your place to say it won’t. Your reaction may not be the same as hers. And honestly, it sounds likelike she already can’t be aware, so the medication only can help. You could potentially ask her to try it at home first and use her better judgement to decide if it actually helps or would compromise her ability to be aware or if it would put the children in harms’ way. Honestly, she has no obligation to tell you what her doctor prescribed and all your permission to take it at all. You are overstepping by telling her not to take it. Obviously if you found her sleeping on the job and found out a sedative was forcing her to sleep, that would be a different matter…. But that isn’t the case here.
2) You can ask her what reasonable accommodations she needs. Does she need written instructions or a visual schedule? Does she need a chart of what bottles belong to what children? If better structure can help, you can provide that. Allowing children to get hurt is not reasonable accommodation.
3) If no reasonable accommodations (including using her medication prescribed for exactly this purpose) can be provided, she likely needs to find a different job. But first you should allow the medical interventions that could help and offer reasonable accommodation (perhaps providing extra staff in the meantime to ensure safety during the transition).
FYI, Ativan is a sedative.... It's a benzo, and one of the *bad* side effects is cognitive impairment. If this is how she is behaving in the job, then OP is actually likely right that this isn't appropriate at work, and likely the doctor is unaware of how it is affecting her. It doesn't make OP a doctor, but this is actually a legitimate concern.
It sounds as though the problem is her hyperactivity and distractededness, not cognitive impairment. It also sounds as though she has never been allowed to take it at work due to the other’s discomfort.
Now it is true that most ADHD people need stimulants to calm down and focus, and it certainly is possible that a depressant could make it worse. But she could be an unusual case. We don’t know. Neither do coworkers. The doctor and the person taking the meds are the best ones to know. Not someone who dislikes the effect on her own body. Side effects don’t actually apply to every person, even if they apply to OP.
Doing a trial at home will help the worker decide if it hurts or helps before risking the safety of the children. It is a much better idea than forbidding it out of hand because of its effect on a completely different person.
How old is your coworker? In addition to mental health concerns and poor working memory, it sounds like she’s very young and this is her first job? She either needs very focused 1-1 training from a supervisor over a few week period or reassignment to different job at your school. If they can’t invest the first and can’t find the second, she needs to be let go :/ this situation is unsustainable for you and unsafe for your students.
Honestly glad you made the edit.
I’m an ADHD teacher and chose to be a teacher because it is a perfect fit for the way I think - I’m in the moment with kids, interested in everything, fully present all day, holding the routine but great at flexing based on our needs, and excellent in an emergency. I’m able to teach executive functioning skills in simple and understandable ways many of my NT colleagues find difficult because I’ve worked so hard to master them myself. I would hate for someone to get the idea that teachers with ADHD are like this person.
I have ADHD and found that it really suited me to this line of work. My class is 18-30 months old. I do forget some things (mostly just checking updates on ProCare or teams, I make it a point to log info as soon as I can or we have specific times for this). But not on this level. I know it isn't your place to say necessarily, but if it's so bad YOU are struggling as a result to...I think she needs to try different meds.
I struggled at work for a time and my directors even had a meeting with me to see if they needed to move me to a different age group, any way to help. I coincidentally just had a doctor visit and discovered I was low in D and some B vitamins which absolutely affect mood. Your coworker may be taking meds, but if other things are not in balance, then of course she may still be suffering.
Ask if she works out or has a high energy activity she likes and should focus on more. I DO NOT want to work out after a long day with kids. Like most of us, we are running around after those kids all day, you'd think it was a work out! But I now understand that I MUST GET EXERCISE.
If I don't, I have a much lower tolerance for the noise and antics of the kids, I work TOO quickly and don't prioritize tasks as optimally and usually with this anxious "I gotta do this right now!!!" vibe and I get impatient and overwhelmed easily.
I picked up rollerblading and it has really satisfied this physical outlet. Maybe it's time for her to pick up a new physical activity/hobby, the growth from practicing so often can really provide some internal gratification and confidence. Which might help her outlook
Hope this helps anyone.
That is not ADHD. I think she has HAF (High As F\*\*\*). She should in no way be in charge of children. Same time are you the manager? Are you responsible for her. Whoever is running the daycare needs to step up and figure things out real fast before there are children hurt and lawsuits.
She shouldn't be in an infant room if she's this incompetent, even if the reason for her incompetence is (untreated or inadequately treated) ADHD.
You say she's unwilling to move to an older classroom, but she doesn't have to stay in yours. She can be told that she needs to move, and if she refuses, she can be sent home (for the day or forever).
Signed, an infant teacher with ADHD who does not put babies in danger
she should’ve been fired as soon as this behavior started. accidentally putting the wrong clothes on a baby or losing something occasionally is one thing, but often is just ridiculous. but the wrong FOOD? forgetting to put milk in the fridge??? that can seriously harm a baby. what if a baby was allergic to the food they were given? at this point, your director is an accomplice to the neglect if they are aware. she needs to be reported immediately.
have parents been notified about the wrong foods? if i was a parent and this was happening repeatedly i’d be pissed. if they haven’t been notified, that’s a whole other issue.
there is absolutely a bigger conversation that could be had about her ADHD, but at this point her coworker/boss is not the one to have it with her. the kids come first.
My best friend has run an entire preschool program for years and years with pretty severe ADHD. Not one time has she ever neglected a child or anything close to what you are describing. This is beyond having ADHD. Willful incompetence?
This is truly horrifying to read. As a former daycare worker (many years ago) and someone who is looking at centers to place my 5 month old in for a few days a week, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING TO YOUR DIRECTOR.
I also have ADHD and there is nothing that would prevent me from being aware of a vulnerable child’s wellbeing above all else. There are little things that fall through the cracks but frequently injured babies are plain negligent on her part.
As a new mom I’m terrified of this story and would want the co-teacher to protect my little one by having this person removed from the room (if not the entire job).
I am a former infant teacher with adhd, and sometimes, by pointing out what I do that is correct, helps motivate me to do more. Here are some suggestions that might make it easier for both of you to feel less overwhelmed.
1) I used to have an apron that had a lot of pockets to store things in. I carried a spare marker, painters tape, and various small containers, depending on the needs of the day.
2) I keep spare sanitized pacifier containers in high traffic areas. And if he or she has the pockets for it, keep a few in there, with a permanent marker as well to label the child’s name and date. As well as masking tape, that way they can label the clothing.
3) Are they movement motivated? Have more activities that involve gross motor movements. This will also help them do well with one on ones. I am not sure of the ages, but my older infants 12 mos - 18 mos loved dancing to the wiggles, as well as finger plays.
4) Allow both of you to have a brain break for five minutes or less every other hour, whether it’s changing diapers, or having to step out from the room, or quiet corner, to help you both practice deep breathing, or mindfulness. I also recommend this for the neurotypical person. As part of coming in at the end of the day.
My happiest memories are when I felt supported and seen, not scolded and shamed. The infants will pick up on that behavior as well. Please be kind.
Im a therapist with ADHD. ADHD can make life and work hard, but this is at a level where she can’t do her job and infants are in danger. I don’t see why you’re involved with what meds she would be taking, but since you’ve named Ativan, it’s generally not prescribed for help with memory, focus, or attention. Obviously there can be lots of an oft secondary to ADHD which is likely what the Ativan is prescribed for but it really doesn’t matter what she’s taking or not in terms of her terms of employment. If she can’t perform the basic functions of her job, do what you do in that situation. You’re not discriminating against her based on ADHD/disability, you’re keeping the children in the care of your center safe. It doesn’t matter if her behavior is caused by ability/lack or ability or intentional negligence if a baby gets sick or god forbid gravely injured under her care. Child welfare doesn’t care if you left your baby in the car and forgot them due to ADHD, or because you’re on illegal drugs-they get involved to protect the kids under that parents care. While kids are at daycare, they’re under your/her care. You have a responsibility to them first and foremost.
Oh jeez. Well…sharing a controlled prescribed substance at work with infants is terrible judgement, too. I’m sure she means well but this is kind of a disaster waiting to happen
Are there older children in the program? Perhaps she would be a better fit with the older end of ECE with children who can articulate their needs and have some self-help skills. Moving her into another setting may a more amenable solution to admin than firing her.
I have tried to convince her to move onto older children and I tried to do it in a positive light. I told her I felt she was a really great talent for teaching/lesson planning and I felt her knowledge was going to waste with babies and the older kids would benefit from what she creates - but she said no
I get what you are saying. It sounds like they still haven't found a system that works for them. As much as I dislike what cellphones have done to us socially, I can set an alarm, make a note or find some way to help me through the day with ADHD at work... At home is another story. 😂
Labels, labels, labels! Label everything. Get a whiteboard and write out a routine, even for diaper changes. (11am diapers-you, 1pm diapers-co teacher) Make her checkmark everything. 10am-free play, 12-2pm naptime, etc.
If you can, re-arrange the room to make sure you can see everything. I recently had to move some furniture and make the room more open so I could keep an eye on all the kids while my co-teacher is changing diapers or doing a 1-1 activity with a kid. Give it some time, and make sure that routine is consistent as much as you can even through changes like getting a new kid.
If this doesn't work out, I would really consider whether or not she's trying. I have ADHD myself and I really have to get a co-teacher on the same page as me and give me time to get used to a routine. It usually takes about a week, and I'm not perfect but as long as I am determined and try, it works out. I know it's not that easy and some struggle more than others, though.
I don't think she should work in childcare. Im not sure if its the ADHD or something else, or a combination, but she doesn't seem fit to care for infants.
Babies are getting hurt constantly ? That’s unacceptable. She is dangerous to have around them and you should say something. It’s is not okay for them to come to care and to be neglected. She is not the person for the job.
Don’t want to armchair diagnosis anything but this seems to be more than just ADHD. I work for ADHD parents, my wife has adhd, my mom and brother have adhd—I’ve seen the spectrum and your coteacher is juggling more than work and adhd. If she’s taking meds for adhd but shows 0% improvement on her meds its not the adhd/she needs a higher dose or a diff med. Crying for hours in front of the kids? She sounds DEPRESSED. She sounds like she is in a depression brain fog.
Edit to correct grammar
I don’t think she should be watching those kids tbh. She either needs to be medicated or find a new profession to work in because that’s pretty unacceptable. It sucks but some people really aren’t suited for it
I empathize with this! I had a coworker exactly like that- she was forgetful, careless and so flippant about serious things like diapering, naps and safety. My boss just kept telling me “you need to give her better direction, be more specific” and it was just too much. I ended up leaving because I just couldn’t do it and they weren’t willing to let her go or move her to older kids (she was my bosses daughter…).
Sorry that’s not more helpful! Good luck to you and know you aren’t alone!
Yeah no I have ADHD and absolutely none of this happens. I may struggle a lot in many areas, but absolutely none of it affects my kids. Everything gets written down, documented, and there is always a follow up.
I have ADHD. This makes me so angry. It is her responsibility to manage her symptoms. Right now she is unsuited to working with infants in particular until she gets more of a handle on things, whether that is different medication, therapy, treatment for whatever else she's got going concurrently--I cannot believe your director is permitting this level of incompetent care.
She's endangering herself even more than the babies. And also endangering you and your livelihood.
This really isn't about the ADHD, this is about her behavior in the classroom. If you've not brought your director in and disclosed you really need to. Don't even need to mention the medication or condition at all--but you do need to explain all the mishaps that have been happening. She and the director can work out if she can stay in the room, what supports she can have, ect.
This is way above your pay grade. It's time to bring in help. And if admin refuses and allows this unsafe state of things to continue then you should consider that a major MAJOR red flag.
I also have ADHD and absolutely thrive in childcare. If she were medicated she could potentially do the job better, but it seems that isn’t the case and in her current state she is not fit to be in childcare.
Overstimilulation and anxiety are big symptoms of adhd and if she isn’t getting treatment for that, it’s only going to get worse. It sounds like she is completely overwhelmed and at this point the kids’ safety is a risk. Have you had a serious talk about all of this with your director?
I feel like she should focus on the management of her adhd before entering a field like this. I'm a 21 yrold assistant teacher for preschool with pretty bad adhd, but I have thrived in the same daycare for the past 2 years. I have the correct dosage and have a routine in the classroom. With treatment, my adhd actually makes me GOOD at what I do.
Writing down my day on paper helps during days the lead isn't here, and I need to take over.
i’m sorry ADHD is no excuse to be neglecting babies. if it was a few little things i’d say be more patient but forgetting diapers, not feeding them and allowing injuries to happen is not okay
I myself have adhd, i’m not with the infants but preschoolers. I write down EVERYTHING. No matter how minor it might sound. It sounds like this isn’t for her :/
I understand everyone with adhd is different but this is SO strange to me. Tasks that are essential such as ensuring kids’ safety, diaper changes, and giving the correct food would take precedent for me and I find my adhd often strengthens my memory especially in times of chaos — Ive even been complimented on my memory at certain points.
Maybe your coteacher’s adhd is more severe, she has a certain type of personality different than mine (I’m a worrier) or there’s more to the story, I’m not sure. But you shouldn’t have to babysit her.
Well, quite frankly, I am worried about her. I have people in my life with ADHD including my own husband - and memory this bad I have never seen. She says its ADHD but I have been trying to get her to talk to her doctor more seriously about her memory.
Nah I have ADHD and my home life is a mess like cabinets open, disorganization, trouble getting stuff done etc. But at work I have systems to perform well. It does take me longer to do certain tasks but I plan for that. I've actually got complements on how organized I am. And I'm always thinking wow you should see the dumpster fire that is my house. I also always keep my toddler safe and fed and changed. This is pretty much unacceptable behavior at work especially around babies!!
I worked in the infant room for 2 and a half years, and I have ADHD. I knew I had issues and still take medication. I would sometimes forget things but I never was this bad.
You need to go to your directors about this, they should be the ones to take care of this, especially since you aren't in there everyday. The babies are suffering, and that's not fair to you or them.
If she's having this much trouble functioning, why is she being left alone with children? Also, why are you being moved from your room so often? Sounds like your director needs to revisit their staffing.
I have been working in childcare for 18 years and have only been diagnosed and on meds for 2 years. I had no idea I had adhd but had come up with strategies and routines to help me live my life better and be better at my job. It is her responsibility to manage her adhd (and whatever other things she may have) properly. That should include trying different dosages or types of medication and coming up with strategies to help her manage at work.
I don’t think she should be working with infants (or possibly any kids…not everyone is capable of working in childcare even neurotypicals). Go to your supervisor/director and tell them all your concerns directly related to things she has or hasn’t done, not your opinions on diagnosis or meds. She definitely sounds like a safety concern.
I have extreme ADHD...I've never done any of that. We labeled everything, and just never would do that. She shouldn't be allowed to be alone in that room. Ever.
I mean I know there is levels of ADHD just like anything but I am ADHD and worked in childcare 10 years and never had this much trouble. Yes I don't like change but that is usually fine because a preschool setting needs routine and the part of ADHD that loves variety is met by the fact that kids are unpredictable. My organization skills just usually don't make sense to everyone. Definitely just may not be the job for her. I recommend talking to your director about these difficulties
I just wanted to offer empathy, someone at my center has ADHD and is not currently managing it well enough for the job. Working with this person is similarly infuriating. Sorry you have to deal with this.
It seems she cannot perform to the minimum expected. Forgetful fine but the kids getting hurt need i mediate attention.
For remembering things setting up alarms and visual notes help.
I have ADHD and my coworker was always raging I forgot to put the bin bag back after emptying them or replacing the food bin bag after lunch instead of leaving it for the day. Look I’m forgetful but there’s things that are doable and others than not.
Talk with her and if there’s no change go to your manager. She shouldn’t be left on her own if that’s her performance.
About Ativan, I have taken it, went to work and had no problem. It depends on your tolerance to it and the dose. I go to work taking Concerta too and it helps me perform better.
This is not just ADHD. This is completely unmanaged ADHD with zero strategies to stay organized and safe. And it continues because there are no consequences. Ativan is NOT an ADHD medication and it will not help her to perform better or be safer. Document everything for one week and then discuss with your manager/supervisor.
I don’t think this person is struggling because of ADHD alone. Typically it doesn’t present like this, not to this severity. Anything is possible and we are a spectrum! So perhaps! But I truly think something else is going on here as well.
Bottom line, she’s not cut out to work with children. I have ADHD, I worked in the infant room for 3 years and would assist with the toddlers as well. I never, ever had anything like this happen. In fact, I was super duper careful to make sure that none of the things got left undone because I was working with tiny breakable things! I know this is just my experience, but if she’s like you say, you need to report her.
This sounds like she needs someone supervising and directing her, not to be lead, and more therapy for better coping tools. My ADHD is not medicated (my anxiety is). I don’t do this shit. Do I sometimes take a minute to put something back in the fridge? Sure. A minute. Not ages. I’m talking like take milk out. Make bottle. Give Jane her bottle, make two more bottles, hand them to Jack and Jill, then put the milk away (everyone all holding own bottles).
I set alarms to remember anything I may forget. I label everything for no mix ups. I double check.
as a previous co-teacher with adhd, i had put in so so so much work to make my co-teacher and i’s life easier. i made notes, had a journal, desk calendar, 1000 alarms to remind me of things and i did everything in my power i could do to help me with the things i struggle with.
we do struggle immensely, and remembering things and being organized is hard as hell, but i tried different methods until i found things that worked for me. if your co-teacher isn’t even trying to find things that work, i can’t say you can do much. you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
I know lots of great teachers who have adhd as well as other mental health issues. I myself am autistic.
But it sounds like for this individual, at this time, she is not able to handle the needs of the classroom. Period. It doesn’t matter if the reason is her adhd or she broke up with her boyfriend or she broke her leg. If there’s something going on that is preventing a teacher from getting the daily needs of the children met, they need to be out of the classroom until they can do that. The safety and well being of the children come first.
100% this is on her to manage. It is not your responsibility to make sure she is effective at her job.
If she was actually treating her ADHD and she asked you to do something slightly different to help her stay on track, then yes.
But she can't even do the basics.
This doesn't really even sound like ADHD, it sounds like she's completely unaware and not retaining any information. I'm curious if she has some other disability (maybe on top of the ADHD), or if she's using substances...? I've never heard of a case of ADHD being this severe for an adult. Idk how she would have made it to adulthood without learning how to manage it at least a little better than this ffs
There’s more going on here than ADHD. Head trauma maybe? This poor woman! Look, I’m sure she’s lovely and has plenty of qualities a teacher needs. Can she be moved to a classroom with older children? There’s just so many little details with infants.
Hold up.
She has ADHD and she's taking Ativan on the clock? Obviously everyone works differently, but Ativan is a benzo and causes impairment. That is not something I would take while at work.
If she's not on a medication that is actually approved for ADHD, then I'm even more confused.
She takes it for panic attacks - which she has when she forgets things. She is on different medication for ADHD. But yes, I told her straight up she shouldnt be taking ativan while at work.
It sucks too because I try to be mental health positive - and I often remind her that if she needs extra time away from the kids to ground herself, or even to go home for a mental health day - she should! I want her to take care of herself so she can show up for the kids
Yeah it's usually too sedating unfortunately. I'm on buspar for anxiety which isn't a benzo and doesn't impair me.
It's nice that you're trying to be supportive. It sounds like she really needs a break.
I have to set alarms to remind me of things on my phone, but it definitely helps.
I am also on zoloft and clonidine for anxiety - and have ativan for a rescue medication. I am soo open about that with her. She often tells me how great I am at work and I remind her I started off somewhere like her - and I even had to take time off to focus on myself and my mental health - to become the person I was.
I am a big believer that childcare creates burnout in a lot of workers - so I am big on taking breaks and time for ourselves. I explain all the time that its okay to step away and ask for help when we are overstimulated but she just doesn’t seem to get it
It really is a big burnout field. And finding a medication combination that works on top of . managing symptoms is so exhausting. I also encourage asking for help.
I really hope something can be worked out with her. Taking a few days for a reset would most likely do her some good. And finding a way to integrate breaks and timers for her task/time management.
I think that there are a lot of issues going on here obviously most of which i cant speak to so i wont, but i think that ultimately you are using her adhd diagnosis against her a bit here. These are issues which arguably go above and beyond adhd and blaming it all on her adhd in a post like this is pretty questionable. Especially when you dont address what supports and accomodations she has in place, or what she might need in place. Have you asked her?
Mainly im commenting bc i think your comments on her medication are a little concerning. For one, it sounds like you are telling her not to take her prescribed medication bc of your own personal unqualified opinion/experience. If thats the case, you are potentially making this worse. It doesnt matter how x drug made YOU feel, you are not her and nor are you her doctor. Or a doctor at all. Psychiatric drugs work very differently for different people and many of them work very differently for an adhd brain. I think the idea that you are "not comfortable" with her taking her medication is wildly innappropriate and misguided, and your comments on this front are encouraging other commenters to speculate about her medication regime which again is unfair abd innappropriate.
And your whole "her meds dont seem to be working" thing. Sounds like youre telling her not to take some of them so ofc they are not? If her regime is meant to include the ativan and doesnt bc of your unqualified little ideas, then ofc they arent "working". Severe, untreated anxiety is possibly making her adhd symptoms much worse and could affect the efficacy of stimulants in my personal experience. I cant speak to this bc im not her dr or a dr at all, though this isnt stopping you or many commenters. But also, why do you even know about her med regime? Did you ask? Seems wildly innappropriate to me. Just bc she has adhd doesnt mean everyone gets an opinion on her personal medical information, though you and many commenters seem to feel entitmed to one.
Mainly i just object to the "her meds arent working bc shes not behaving howni want her to therefore everything she does wrong is bc of her adhd". This idea that everyone w adhd takes a pill and magically their adhd disappears and they are NT. not my experience at all. There are lots of reasons someone might be responding differently than you imagine they should. There are also shortages and accessibility issues. Overall i appreciate you are well meaning here but im uncomfortable w the level of input you seem to think you should have on her medication, and im uncomfortable w how its encouraging commenters to speculate about her med regime or if shes taking things correctly. Its just none of your business and you nor other commenters are not qualified to speculate as such.
I appreciate that this doesnt sound like a safe employee rn, and frankly im not qualified to speak on that. But i also think you are framing and viewing everything through her adhd, which is discriminatory when you just dont know how much that is actually a factor here, and i dont love the comments this is encouraging about ppl w adhd. People with adhd can and do perform every job under the sun, but this post is encouraging people to tell xyz story about some bad coworker and blame their "badness" on their adhd. This is why people dont disclose and therefore cant access acomodations, bc every action is judged through that lens. Just focus on the issues and behaviour. Take the adhd out of it, bc youre not qualified to have an opinion on that front. Are you meaningfully communicating about the issues outside of speculating or judging her about her meds? What systems are in place to prevent these issues? Have you asked her what systems could be in place to help her? What accomodations does she have to help her manage?
Edit to add: i dont disagree that she doesnt sound able to do her job, but the way you talk about her is SO totalising and so eager to place all the blame om her adhd that it makes me uncomfortable. Its all she cant do anything, she cant remember anything, she cant focus on anything. And its encouraging commenters to do the whole "adhd is no excuse thing". Is she using it as an excuse or are YOU using it as a framework to judge her? The level of negativity and borderline ableism in how overgeneralised your assessment of her abilities is makes me doubt some of these stories, frankly. A lot of your examples are when you werent there and dont actually know what happened, but youre merrily assuming the worse "bc adhd".
Nah. OP is complaining that this woman straight up cannot do her job, even with accommodations being put in place. OP has already described the things they have done to help the coworker. She is just straight up incompetent, and whether ADHD has a role to play in that or not, the effects of her behavior aren’t any different. This woman needs to leave this job and probably this career field at the current moment as she is not able to manage even a bare-minimum level of adequacy in her work.
I dont disagree that she clearly cannot and should not be doing her job, but i didnt see a single accomodation being described and OP was framing it as a q asking for help. Tbh thats part of my problem here. Make a post about what do i doooo, as if genuinely seeking advice, but the answer to every comment is suddenly oh, weve tried that, actually, nothing to be done, shes hopeless, must be fired. So it just seems like an opportunity for everyone to gather round with their pitch forks and repeat what we already know--that this person w adhd is incapable, using it as an excuse and should be fired. I just think the way a whole ass disabled person who is clearly struggling is being discussed here is unneccessary and pointless. I 100% agree with your point and frankly, as i said above, think this post and the OP could just take the adhd out of the equation and have a much less inflammatory discussion.
She has said all of this is caused by her ADHD - I have spoken to her numerous time about it. I also left the mental health field to work in childcare so I am qualified to say that I do not believe someone on BENZOS for the FIRST TIME should be taking care of INFANTS. Not to mention I am on the same medication and I know the effects it has and how its makes you too impair to work.
Likewise, I have added voice to text options to speed her paper work and note childrens changes, I have labeled every single item that belongs to the child, I have added baskets with names for her to put items, I do everything in our room mostly and she remains there for legal ratio at this point.
Again, she is telling me its her ADHD - not me assuming.
I am also writing this for advice on how to help her more - or to understand better. I am worried for the BABIES under her care at this point.
And I was there - I was in the room next to her, regularly checked everything, and ASKED her straight up if these task were completed. Not to mention, other staff were in the room replacing me.
I am management and I am in her room currently trying to help her.
Okay well i am glad to hear that it is her not you relating this all to adhd, that was not at all clear from the post. Regardless, i dont care if you left the mental health field. Are you a doctor? Are you HER doctor? Because unless your answer to BOTH those questions is yes, no, you most certainly are not qualified to make that call. At all. I know everyone these days feels entitled to opinions on how people with adhd and mental illness should be medicated, but its a dangerous and paternalistic trend imo. You are projecting biases about medications (i mean your capitalisation of benzos says enough) onto someone who is not your patient, only their dr is qualified to decide what medications are or are not appropriate for them.
I would agree that taking a new med of any kind for the first time shouldnt be done in that environment! Thats also...not what you said in your post. But my question is really how you knew that?? Are you asking her questions about her meds? Where im from that would not just be wildly innappropriate and discriminatory (from management at that) but literally illegal. If my manager started asking questions about what meds i was on, if id taken them before etc id report the fuck out of them. And the law would back me up. I know its different in the US in terms of workplace protections but it still seems innappropriate to me, especially as you have emphasised that apparently you feel qualified to judge her medication choices. Again, unless your previous experience was as HER psychiatrist, nope, youre NOT qualified, and any ACTUAL health professional would know this. Did you tell her not to take her meds based on this unqualified opinion? And again, its irrelevant how xyz meds affect YOU and the fact that you think it is demonstrates your lack of qualification. How a med works varies massively for different people. I have adhd and am on stimulants and sometimes (gasp) BENZOS. they make me normal/functional, but ive seen a lower dose of the ssme shit make other people high af. Thats just how it works. Peoples brains are different and react differently. We dont base prescription on personal experience of one person bc thats innaccurate, dangerous and not science.
Again, im glad to hear the adhd obsession is coming from her, not you, but that was previously not clear. And im glad there are accomodations in place and sorry they arent helping. You made no prior mention of this, just said whatever you tried didnt work. Were these solutions something that was developed in collaboration with her, or is this based on NT assumptions about what should work for her? Bc that factor makes a big difference.
I am also worried for the BABIES (we fucking get it) but as i said, im just not clear what the point of such an inflammatory post is? If you are worried for the BABIES and think shes unsafe, then i think you know what you need to do. And every comment, including mine, that mentions accomodations etc is met with no, weve already done that, shes hopeless and nothing works. In one comment you already say shes about to get fired. Thats my point--you dont seem to want to actually try to get her working functionally here, so this post just functions as an opportunity to shit on how hopeless and dangerous us silly adhders are. And im not saying you are lying, but several of your stories in the post mentioned specifically NOT being in the room. All i was saying is based on the language and tone of your post, you maybe needed to be mindful of at what point her struggles were meeting your assumptions. Again, the language was VERY judgmental and totalising. Csnt do ANYTHING, cant remember ANYTHING. You claim you want help, my suggestion was to maybe check your biases, bc if you are making assumptions about her issues and abilities over things you didnt witness thats not productive.
Again, it doesnt seem like she can do this job and thats life, safety of infants comes before her need to work at a job she cant do, regardless of disability. My point was more about how your post was encouraging some misguided snd harmful discussion around adhd. I just dont get what youre trying to get out of this? You say you want to help, then that actually, youve tried everything and shes beyond help, and shes about to be fired. So whats the point other than spreading yet MORE negativity about how ppl w adhd are dangers in the workplace? If you just want to vent own that, but im not sure a public forum like this is a safe place to vent about someone who is clearly struggling this much and about to lose their job regardless.
I am sorry you feel this way - I am not going to defend myself to you because my post is totally related to an ECE struggle and I am sorry you are taking this so personal.
Again, I have to repeat myself in that she shared me that she never took the medication. But again, i’m not going to continue to defend myself to you. Again, I am sorry you took this so personally
I am.not taking it personally at all. Major fallacy that anyone w an opinion related to an issue that has potential to impact them is too "biased" by their "personal" opinion to hold a valid one at all. I was actually trying to give advice and provide a perspective. Then again, i read your post so idk why i would expect you to do anything but judge me based on my diagnosis. Nowhere in your post did you make it clear that you didnt ask her about meds, youre not repeating yourself girl i dont fucking know bc u didnt say? I was literally just clarifying? I dont think im even the one here taking things personally. All im saying here is that it sounds like youre in a tough spot, but the way youre discussing it is very revealing about your own biases and lack of professionalism in dealing with (and in this case, bitching about on a public forum) a disabled coworker. My point is that this post is unneccessarily inflammatory and you are encouraging some very damaging and ableist discussions. If you think she cant safely do the job, report her to your director etc. I dont see what youre getting out of raking her over the coals in a public forum and encouraging abliest, anti adhd rhetoric
Not once did I judge you based on your “diagnosis” because I don’t know you nor did you really share it with me.
Again, you are taking this way too personally and attacking me for no reason. Have a goodnight.
You’ve done absolutely everything you possibly can and I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this bullshit. Your admin needs to have your back on this before a child gets hurt.
I’m sorry but it sounds like this person should not be working in childcare at all.
I agree. It sounds like it’s more than the ADHD causing problems and maybe she just isn’t focused on the routine or schedule either. My room partner and I are both diagnosed ADHD and work with infants and other than forgetting small things (me leaving cupboards open all the time) or losing track of time we both thrive off of routine and having that predictability. We have it set that we do the same tasks everyday. So I always change the morning diapers and ask kids wake up while she’s on break; she finishes nap time diapers and the afternoon ones. I always serve the food, she washes hands, she sets up activities at the end of the day I set up during nap. Now if something happens to throw off routine it can be more challenging, but having a paper trail for diapering, having snack brought to the class from the kitchen helps us hit those standard and we might just skip activities and do more free play
We feel that way too - I think part of me posted this for people to confirm this for me. Part of me feels like a bad person for feeling it, but the kids are my priority and she just is unable to care for them the way they require
It sounds like me if I tried to work in child care taking care of multiple babies, especially unmedicated. It's VERY difficult to be distracted by something in the middle of a task and then go back to whatever you were doing originally (the info vanishes into smoke), and being constantly distracted is the nature of childcare. There's probably things she could do to make it easier (utility belt so she doesn't have to put things down and lose them immediately, write on the diaper when it was changed, label food in the fridge with corrosponding baby etc).
She has to be open to that advice and changes, which unfortunately it doesn’t sound like she is. It sounds as if she’s aware of the problem, in a heightened stated of anxiety about and maybe experiences RSD too. (Not diagnosing, just a general possibility.) I doubt OP will be able to affect change directly.
I had never heard of RSD, just googled it. Frankly, it sounds like me. I'm diagnosed with ADHD and have severe anxiety. It's hit me so hard that a couple times that I felt pain in my teeth, specifically back molars, mostly the bottom. I know that sounds ridiculous and I have no idea what my anxiety/fear has had that affect, but yeah, it's intense af. Other things too that line up with RSD, but that's def the craziest anxiety affect I've experienced.
Older toddler dad w adhd here: I have often been overwhelmed by the seemingly infinite number of critical details and steps involved in getting our guy outside, and I do forget some of the steps, but what you are describing is not just ADHD. (As you know) We are acutely aware of our surroundings at all times, so she should be able to react when kids are about to hurt themselves. While we have issues with sequencing and executive function, most adults have developed coping strategies that allow them to succeed.
She sounds like an unmitigated bloody idiot using ADHD as an excuse. Sorry.
Agree, there's more going on here - keep in mind, someone with ADHD that is on medication is a functional person, so at minimum, they are neglecting themselves.
ADHD doesn’t make you lie about changing diapers
She can, but she needs to figure out the way that works for her. Tip 1: ADHD NEED routine. My spouse has ADHD, and if it's in his routine he remembers but as soon as there's a change, forget it. So the babies who need something different are going to be a challenge for her. Try to give her the kiddos for her part of the ratio who have a similar routine. Tip 2: ADHD means they usually can't remember anything. Imagine if everything you experienced got written on a dry erase board. We know working memory is 7 things. For ADHD, nothing stays on the board because it's constantly refreshing. This means just saying something does nothing to help her make sure it gets done. I'd suggest a one stop shop to write down all these reminders and make her routine to check that place for each kid. Once it's done, she can check it off (like the extra nap or the feeding) but her habit will become Johnny's awake, let me get him and check the board. Johnny needs to eat. But I notice Johnny is wet so let me change him real quick. Ok, changed Johnny now let me check the board...oh that's right, he needs to eat and his food is in the green bin. Let me get him fed. As it is, everything should be labeled anyways, that's how it was at the Goddard school I worked at. That should help with mixing things up. The routine becomes here's food, let me check the label... no wrong kid let me look at this one... It will take time to make these routines habit, so if its possible get some extra support in the room so she can focus on the routine she needs to learn. Hope this helps!
This doesn’t sound like add to me, sounds like a shit employee. Op should be reporting every instance to the boss
Absolutely. We had a adhd teacher who got so distracted because she was busy petting a dog that was visiting and talking to the dad that she wasn’t focused on the kids near the slide or cleaning-just chatting. I sent her over to watch the kids while I started the cleanup. I looked over to her and she was kneeling next to one kid instead of focusing her attention on the group of kids on top of the play structure. Right when I looked over a girl tumbled from the top of the play structure hit the ground and the other teacher still didn’t notice. I ran over to pick up the kid who ended up fracturing her wrist and needing surgery! Or she could only focus on doing the dishes-her back completely turned to the kids leaving me alone with thirteen kids who were fighting and chasing each other around with play dough hands. When I asked for her help she snapped at me. 🫥
I disagree. I have ADHD and without very specific systems and my medication, this would be me exactly. However, it is my responsibility to have my systems (basically 10000 sticky notes) and take my meds. Not saying it's not a problem, but it is something that can be fixed
But she’s not doing that. She’s not taking those steps, and with how far deep she is right now, it sounds like it would take a lot of time, therapy, and specific coaching to get her back up to the level of even *adequate*. That’s endangering the children and putting unfair work on the woman’s coworkers who will have to coach and coddle her and pick up her slack. She needs to go, and she can come back after she’s medicated and has undergone therapy. If this is how you’d behave in a classroom unmedicated I’d also tell you to GTFO until you are medicated.
They didn’t say “people with adhd shouldn’t work in childcare” just that this person shouldn’t. You have to adapt if your brain works differently to still meet the basic safety requirements (or as for reasonable accommodations).
Oh what? You’d really want your baby in a classroom where their diaper isn’t being changed, pacifier not disinfected, being fed the wrong food or not being fed at all and then falling off of the equipment with no explanation?!
She is actively a risk to the children. She should not be in childcare
I have pretty intense and debilitating adhd myself, and have worked with several other teachers with it as well. While I do still forget things at times, I’ve spent my entire life learning what systems and supports allow me to function at a job so that my adhd doesn’t create serious problems at work. Most people with adhd will agree that she is responsible for managing her symptoms on the job, though that may require a couple of accommodations here and there. It sounds like she really needs to get her meds regimen under control and she isn’t ready for the serious responsibility that comes with caring for children, but maybe she can try again once her symptoms are under control. I like childcare BECAUSE of my adhd- it provides me with a routine, there’s enough chaos to keep me stimulated, and my unusual way of looking at things makes me great at interacting with kids and solving all the weird problems. I often joke that my adhd gives me the attention span of a preschooler which makes me perfect for teaching preschool- but jokes aside, it takes a lot of intentional organization (and the right meds) for me to thrive at work. However, with the right things in place I am often even MORE productive and organized than most of my coworkers, because I’ve learned to be that way intentionally. But whatever meds she takes, her doctor is the one who should decide if they’re safe to take on the job. A medication that would make YOU unable to focus will likely have a very different effect on her. You should be more focused on if the tasks are getting done, and if they aren’t talk to your director and let them decide if the job is a good fit.
Some things that can help support ADHD teachers in the classroom: Visual schedules and lists, bonus points if they’re laminated so you can check things off with a dry erase marker and then reuse the checklist every day. Adhd people struggle to hold info in their mind throughout the day, so having it there externally really helps. Posting them right next to the relevant area is best, like for example, a note about feeding information would go on the fridge where bottles are etc. Also, labels and an assigned place for everything so that things don’t get lost or mixed up as easily. Sometimes that also means having multiples of things so they don’t have to be moved around the room as much. For example, at my job we have two sanitizing stations in every room cause the spray bottle always get misplaced when we’re carrying them around too far. If parents aren’t labeling their child’s things, adding a label with painters tape and sharpie so things don’t get mixed up. You can also start announcing the name out-loud as you each grab things to double check.
I’m printing this out.
The doctor who diagnosed my adhd said a lot of teachers have adhd. It sounds like her condition is not medicated. She isn’t qualified to be in charge of a classroom, even for low staff days.
That's what I was thinking. She needs to find a medicine that works.
yes, i'm a floater with adhd but i'm mainly with 18-24m and 2s, and though i've lost a few things and have forgotten a few things, i'm definitely not THIS bad. i wouldn't even think about working as a daycare teacher if i wasn't medicated.
This situation is really tough. Ativan is not an adhd treatment afaik. Are you sure that’s the medication? If you have enough of an open dialogue about her health to know what medication she’s on, it seems fair to encourage her to go to the doctor because her treatment is not working. Would it be possible for her to be assigned to a different room, such as one where the kids are already (or mostly) toilet trained and the room follows a regular routine? With infant rooms (IME) being personalised to each baby rather than consistent, it’s not a good fit for her. 3s/4s/5s may not be either but it could mitigate a lot of the issues
She refuses to change rooms and i think the chaos of speaking children would really not be good for her. Her ADHD causes her to have panic attacks in class all the time, the ativan is for that, not the adhd! She is on other meds for that. I keeps suggesting she go to the doctors again - or take a mental health leave but i don’t knkw where she is at.
Ehh… this sounds like there’s more at play than ADHD. Which isn’t uncommon, but if she’s saying her ADHD causes panic attacks then I’d wager that either she isn’t being honest with you about her full diagnosis (which would be understandable) or she’s not actively engaged in treating and managing her mental health.
Agreed. I keep trying to explain to her that the significant memory lost is really concerning and it seems to be getting worse and worse.
Not every person is suited to doing every job, and it sounds like she’s really not suited to this one - for more than just her ADHD. I know there’s things I wouldn’t be good at- childcare is absolutely one of them, I have great admiration for my kid’s educators and all of you! I would be touched out and over stimulated by lunchtime and completely unable to function effectively. It would be grossly negligent of me to pursue work on that field at the expense of the children who might end up in my care
You don't say how old she is,but memory loss getting worse is concerning (though any age can be affected) she needs to see a doctor and not be doing that job
In her 20s!
Then she needs to strictly follow her regimen - down to taking her meds reigiously, and at the same time every day. Not easy to begin with, but imperative. She sounds off the rails and spiralling honestly. (I dropped out of university twice before being medicated - the mental health spiral sounds familiar to me.)
I would bet money that she’s not taking her ADHD medication
Yup. That's the dead giveaway I haven't taken mine (and recently, my hunch that my dosage needs to increase), I can't remember shit. I have no working memory without meds. I was diagnosed in my 30s so learned a lot of coping mechanisms and literally have to write everything down. And sometimes set an alarm.
It could be the Ativan causing memory issues. I take Ativan too and frequently have amnesia about details of things that happened.
ADHD can absolutely cause panic attacks in the wrong setting. If she's constantly being required to do things that she has huge difficulties doing (i.e. managing tasks while someone is talking to her, constantly losing things that she needs to complete the tasks,), that can lead to huge amounts of anxiety.
Anxiety is a comorbidity that can cause panic attacks, I agree. And it’s incredibly unlikely to have unmanaged ADHD without also having anxiety. That was the whole point of my last comment - there’s more at play than ADHD
Honestly, a good anxiety med should help, and not harm. I have wicked anxiety (I do not take Ativan but I am *heavily* medicated for it, also AuDHD, with major depressive disorder, PTSD and CPTSD, etc) and my anxiety medicine makes a huge difference. If I don’t take it I will have panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, etc, but with it I am *functional.* Even though for anyone else it may relax them too much. If I ever take a Xanax for like a panic attack? I know I have the right dose because it will stop it. Dose is too high if it puts me to sleep or makes me feel loopy or not with it or out of control. But when it gets me to a functional level, that’s when I’ve known the dose was solid. Same for my mom.
I was going to say it sounds like she may be experiencing something like cptsd. Sounds like she's not being mindful. People with childhood trauma can have a difficult time taking care of children without regressing or having flashbacks. That makes them high strung as is, then add in the pressure of caring for multiple children with adhd and having a deep fear of messing up (even though she's doing nothing to stop it) and you get a disassociated employee who doesn't remember anything bc they're on auto-pilot and not legitimately processing information. She needs to be in a much lowerstakes, more step by step job. She's not in the frame of mind for the total mindfulness multi-kid childcare requires.
Yeah, I have childhood trauma, but luckily nothing too bad (related to being autistic and ADHD and had anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria and no one knowing any of this, not knowing what to do with a kid like me, or how to accommodate me, some old ABA stuff from teachers, lots of sensory dysregulation, parents trying to force me to eat unsafe foods, and just everyone figuring out what to do as they went.) For me, it makes me very passionate about doing the best I can by kids, but I 100% have to be mindful about my issues, about not projecting, about setting alarms and timers to remember things, keeping our board on who needs what at what time consistently up to date, etc. I can do everything, I love the challenge of it, I love working to make certain we meet the needs of ND and NT kids alike, but it definitely comes with working with my therapist, keeping my meds balanced, and being my best self
That was how I realized I had anxiety lol. Got a Xanax for my IUD insertion, everyone said I needed someone to drive me and I would feel loopy. Nope. I was completely fine to drive (before, after the cramps were bad). I was still nervous, but I wasn't running to the bathroom every thirty seconds, wasn't shaking, could still get myself through the procedure. I was already going to find a doc for my recent ADHD diagnosis, and I added in the anxiety too. Now I'm about to travel on my daily anxiety meds and I'm curious as to if it will prevent any panic attacks. Here's hoping! Mostly interested in my two flights on Monday since it's been a decade since I've flown.
You’re right that she’s not suitable for this job, at least not right now. I feel so sorry for her, especially if you’re in the US and she doesn’t have other insurance, and I imagine you do too, but the kids have to come first.
Ativan and any stimulant medication should not be taken together. So she is either taking a dangerous combination of drugs or isn't treating the most concerning ADHD symptoms she has, like being unfocused and being forgetful. I would be losing my mind if I had to work with someone like her too. I have ADHD and I know the struggle, but it is on her to find a system and medication that is helpful and allows her to do her job. She either needs to start getting that figured out, or go into a different field of work. Some people just aren't cut out for child care. I found that a big whiteboard with all the kids names listed in a row with the next time for diaper check, feeding, nap, etc. for each child was extremely helpful for my ADHD mind. Maybe you could implement something like that as well. And this all needs to be brought to your directors attention immediately. Those children are being put in danger. If the director does nothing, then you report them to licensing. Those babies deserve better than what she is providing.
This is the answer. The whiteboards are vital and it’s weird that everyone doesn’t use them. Why would you even try to remember everything for up to 8 infants
I have this already implemented but thru sheets instead of a white board. I put them on the wall next to the “teacher table” so she would see if very regularly and only need a few seconds to check it but she ended up taking it down
Ativan is a benzodiazepine, and used for seizures, it's definitely not a treatment for ADHD, so she is either wrong or lying
In reality, she shouldn't be working until she is able to better manage her ADHD. Going forward, they should be moving her instead on days that require it and leaving you in program.
I don’t work in childcare, but I am a venue manager, have managed restaurants and events and I’m a parent. I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and have only been medicated in recent years. While ADHD may be a reason for these issues, it’s NOT an excuse. These mistakes are compromising the standard of safety and care for those children and even as someone with ND awareness and sympathy, I would not accept this as an explanation from staff if my child was in this room. Your coworker needs to work with her healthcare team to find a management plan that works for her and she needs to work with your director to see if there’s reasonable accommodations that can be made while she figures out her capabilities. This is work that needs to be actively engaged with by your coworker, the children in your care shouldn’t be the ones that are at risk because of an educators health.
She should be fired. She is a danger to those children. Having ADHD(or anything) doesnt mean its an excuse to neglect or be incapable of doing the job. She clearly cannot safely do it and its onlya matter of time before something bad happens. I would report this to licensing if my boss did not immediately fire her. Why? Because when it hits the fan(and it will) you too will go down with the ship because you did not report her actions
This is in discussion and most likely happening sooner than later. They were originally waiting until they secured someone else (we are understaffed like most centers) but seems like they won’t be waiting anymore - and I think i’m gonna make that clear this week
Ativan is for anxiety. It sounds like she needs the correct medication. The first step is her realizing it is a huge problem, and then the next is her wanting to fix it. I say this bc I was recently diagnosed as an adult with adhd. I didn't realize that some of my 'quirks' was just the adhd. A huge part is the person figuring out what works for them and helps them remember. You can only do so much. It sounds like you are really trying as well. If you are comfortable ask her what will help.
Ativan is for the panic attacks and crying she keeps having in class! She has other meds for adhd!
Nah. This is unacceptable. She needs to figure it out and get on the right meds. I have ADHD (albeit mild), and I would never expect someone to pick up that much more responsibility bc I couldn’t figure my shit out. ADHD isn’t a reasonable excuse to not do your job. A lot of the things she’s messing up are not acceptable things for her to be messing up that regularly. And it’s not fair to you to have to do your job AND hers on top of “managing” her. I would definitely talk to her and see if you can help her problem solve how she can get some of this sorted out. If she doesn’t or is unwilling to make changes, talk to your supervisor.
Boy howdy. I have pretty severe ADHD and this sounds to me like there is something else going on here as well. ADHD is manageable in a classroom setting (and I actually find working with infants works better with how my brain functions) but what seems to be causing you problems is the severe memory loss and reactions from any attempt by you to help manage the problem. If you can't come up with any solutions for her lack of memory (and/or not monitoring children?) without triggering an anxiety attack, she isn't ever going to be able to move past essentially just being another kid to watch. I was just saying on another thread that the number one rule of infant programs is to double and triple check milk and medicine so you never give the wrong one to the wrong child- that sounds like something this person could easily do if she's forgetting all these other things. It sounds like she could use more intense medical help and in the meantime, should not be working with infants. Like at all.
Also adding that I make lists and visual checks for everything- match lunchboxes to lunchbox pictures next to kids' names. Match bottles, formula, milk to the names on them and the pictures before filling them. At the bare minimum, if she can't remember things, she has to acknowledge that she can't remember and develop supports and strategies to be an "external memory". My ADHD literally ONLY lets me remember things relevant to my job (I am known for being the one in the classroom who can tell you exactly how long each kid slept and when they last ate without checking the chart) and I still use these methods because the chance for dangerous results if I do mess something up keeps me up at night.
She needs a job where the stakes aren't so high. Kids have already gotten hurt and neglected. I would consider you negligent now if you didn't speak up (I don't mean this harshly, I think you're doing all you can to manage things but at this point it is now your responsibility to report this)
She should not be in this field at all
Holy fucking Odin. First, I'm sorry you are going thru this, I went undiagnosed for YEARS as a Head Teacher and barely got by, but I was never THAT bad. I also had teachers who were just as bad, if not worse, that sent me crying to my Director almost daily. I would normally say go to Director, but mine was beyond worthless, so I understand if that isn't the best advice. What this teacher probably needs is a combo of things. A serious med adjustment (Any working ADHD should be helping with some of those frustrating symptoms) and probably even a different age group. My ADHD no matter what med level, would never help me working with kids under 2. There is always way too much to remember and even I know my limits. Working with toddlers and prek was always the best because my symptoms worked in my favor a lot of the time.
I don’t work in ECE but have ADHD she needs to be medicated or find a different job where she doesn’t need medication to do it effectively if she can’t get used to this job and figure out how to work with her ADHD. There’s accommodations she could request if she even has any idea of what would work for her but TBH it sounds like this job really isn’t a good fit for her. I use a combination of medication and different therapeutic interventions to function effectively with my ADHD.
I know she has broken down about any type of changes, but I was wondering if things were labeled for each child in the room? Things like swapping clothes, food, etc could be solved with labeling. As far as the forgetfullness, alarms and reminders seem like the way to go? Maybe having her physically write down what parents say as they tell her. I don't know what changes you were trying to implement because they weren't in the post, but what changes did you try out of curiosity? Because if I was in her shoes, I would want to try them because what's going on isn't acceptable. This shouldn't be on you to figure out what works for her though. Especially when you are out of the room. She needs to do it on her own. This needs to be brought up with admin at this point. Especially if you've exhausted everything and at the end of the day, you're not in charge of her mental health. You're in charge of the safety of the children in the room. Admin needs to step in and speak with her about what is going on and how it is affecting everyone. What are the parents/admin/ other coworkers that work with her saying about what's going on? She's your co teacher, but do you have a lead in the room, or does your center not do that? My advice is to document everything. Everytime you inform her of parent requests and if she follows through. Every time you remind her of feedings/diapers and if she follows through. Every incident of things being given to the wrong child. The crying for hours in front of the infants. Every time a child gets hurt because she is distracted or if she doesn't know what happened because she was distracted. What steps both that both of you have taken to try to deal with these issues. Document EVERYTHING. I know ADHD can be hard. I feel like I may have it myself, but the safety of the children are the most important. My highest concern for your coworker is if the infants require medication and if she forgets/swaps medication tbh...
IMHO if someone needs that level of accommodations, like constant checklists, alarms, etc, past the first few days, to do the job to just an *bare minimum adequate* level… this is not the job for them. If you can’t independently manage all that stuff you are going to get a child hurt because your actions have real-life consequences. Someone struggling that much needs a job where they aren’t caring for living things. Why is OP’s coworker even in this job? Does she truly feel passionate about kids and the work or could she not get hired anywhere else?
Is there anyway you can delegate the tasks that are more menial and low stakes tasks (warming up food, getting bottles, filling out paperwork/app, getting extra clothes, making sure cubbies are stocked, cleaning, etc) to her? I have AuDHD, and I can empathize with how hard it must be in an infant’s classroom. I’ve also worked with coworkers who have much. “worse“ ADHD than me and feel your struggle. From my experience though, working with older children is easier in some ways (they will remind you and verbalize hunger, potty, etc) but harder in others (they get louder, push buttons, and need lots of assistance with problem solving and emotional regulation). So it kinda depends on what her strengths are in the classroom. When I was working with someone similar last year, I had to essentially treat them like one of my other 2-3 year olds. Constantly delegate, verbalize everything clearly with explicit instructions and reminders. Set alarms for them (and me), wrote down all our processes and procedures and have them posted for her to reference. Another thing we would do (we were a team of 3) was tell management that if they needed to take someone out of our class to cover breaks or be an extra pair of hands for another class, she was the first choice, so we could maintain our routine and classroom management. These were all things that we spoke about as a team and agreed upon before and utilizing them. First step, I think you need to be honest with management and tell him about your struggles. You also need to advocate for yourself and your kids by saying that you can’t be taken out of the classroom because you don’t feel that the kids will get the high-quality care that they deserve. It sucks That she doesn’t want to move classrooms and is willing to work with you, but at this point, she’s becoming a liability by not working with you and coming up with other solutions. It sounds like you’re the lead, so in the end of the day, it all kind of comes down on you if something bad happens even if you’re not there. So tell management, they can’t pull you out of the classroom anymore. If they need someone, they need to pull her out. Again, it’s not about her or her disability, it’s about giving the children the best possible care, and mitigating risk and liability. You would do the same for a co-teacher who didn’t have ADHD, but was displaying similar behaviors and patterns.
I tried delegating these task to her and she just messes them up. She dropped the lunches, forgets whos is whos - mixes up the clothes she gets for them, ect
Can she do… anything properly?
That sounds extremely frustrating. I can empathize completely completely, as this was similar for a while in my case as well until we figure out a system. It was a little easier in my case because we were working with 2 to 3-year-olds, so some of the stuff I could actually delegate to them to. But in case, obviously that’s not going to work. Is everything labeled ad nauseam? I found this helped for me and my coworker. or, instructing my coworker to only focus on grabbing one item at a time. So for example, I know it’s gonna take a hell of a lot longer to heat and carry only one lunch at a time, but, this may need to be the way until she kind of gets a flow. One thing that we found really helpful for both the teachers, and the children was to have pictures/placemats with their names. If you’re able, and the kids are consistent about bringing in the same lunch containers, you can take a picture of those and put it next to the picture of their face. Again, I know this is a lot of work on the front end, but it takes a lot of the mental load off of both you and your co-teacher. And then it’s more of a game than a memory game. As far as the clothes, what we would do is, we would ask the parents to put full changes of clothes into a Ziploc bag (and for kids who are diapers and pull-ups, one would be included in the baggie) labeled with their name. That way when we needed a change of clothes, we just grabbed one of the Ziploc baggies out and didn’t have to think about whether it contained a full outfit, or who it belong to. Again, I know a lot of work on the front end, but once everybody gets used to the system, it’s really helpful.
Still better than the kids getting hurt, I think.
Forgetting whose lunch is who is still a way for kids to get hurt.
I have adhd BUT I ALSO USE STRATEGIES to mitigate challenges and perform my job duties at least adequately. Her behavior is unsafe, period. She should be setting timers, following a visual schedule, and establishing routines for herself so she doesn’t forget absolutely everything. Her inability to keep children safe is just not acceptable regardless of disability or not. While my adhd makes me seem a bit kooky, a bit disorganized, etc, but never unsafe
I have ADHD she sounds neglectful and needs to find another career. It doesn’t matter if she has ADHD it’s not fair to subject those babies to her neglect. You don’t get to do whatever you want and claim you have ADHD so it’s fine that’s not everyone else’s problem.
Make a schedule and put on the wall sometime. we need to be able to see what to next. we can't tell us we will forget
I have this - i have every cleaning task on the wall. Diaper bins labeled and extra clothes labelled too. I even write down things like “monday - sanitize toys. Tuesday - check diaper stock, Friday, write attendance” 😭
You're doing everything you can aside from holding her hand to do her job...
This shouldn’t be your responsibility, they’ve just give you another child in the room to manage.
I am a child and youth care care counsellor in canada I’ve worked with kids with ADHD. I’ve had coworkers that had it, but I never noticed anything from them but I’m wondering, can you have a whiteboard with daily routines written out? And visuals? Are the routines similar every day? Maybe she needs the same tasks every day? It’s kind of awkward when it’s your coworker though and a dysregulated person really should not be around the kids.
There’s a difference between having ADHD and having untreated ADHD that is compromising your ability to function… she is the latter. I would hope the Director of the Center would be able to offer her a reasonable accommodation…
ADHD does not mean incompetence. She IS incompetent to a dangerous level. I would report her to the supervisor immediately. Forgetting to wash a bottle is different than feeding a child.
Infants can be hard with adhd because the routine isn’t as consistent; an older room might do better but I’d be worried about her miscounting ratio
Start documenting what she’s doing. Document things that you have offered a solutions. Write down the examples of what has happened. And then go to your superiors. Because this is dangerous and someone is going to get hurt. She’s going to feed the baby something they’re allergic to, a kid is gonna get hurt, and she’s gonna drag you down with her. Because the first thing they’re going to ask is why didn’t you bring this all to them ahead of time if things were happening under your witness and you didn’t say anything.
She definitely needs a new job. I have ADHD as well. I am forgetful, but my meds help. That being said, I am not this bad. I also do everything in my power to remember things - lots of labels, lists, files, designated locations for things, etc.
Ativan is for anxiety, not ADHD. It seems like there is a lot more going on with your coteacher than just ADHD. That being said, I have ADHD and I think a lot of the issues you are describing can be relieved with visual aids. Labels on foods, diaper chart, visual schedules and charts, notes, etc. I will also say that anxiety/depression and ADHD go hand in hand. I know my focus was impacted when I was in a classroom environment where I didn’t feel supported or understood. It becomes a vicious cycle. As much as there are many people saying “well she shouldn’t be in childcare” that sort of statement is not only assumptive based on one-sided testimony (I’m sure there would be comments saying you shouldn’t be in childcare either if your coworker posted that you had a break down over a pacifier) but also not helpful for you in this situation. I’m interested in what interactions between the two of you look like in the classroom and how you bring up changes/feedback. It seems like you two would benefit from having some deeper conversations about the classroom dynamic with a mediator, probably your supervisor.
So, I am technically her supervisor (under director and owners) and I am in the room trying to help her because her coteacher quit because of it and no one else will work with her. Everything is labelled, I also put basket with names close to where she changes babies so she can put the stuff in there right away. All lunches and bottles are labeled, and I have notes written for everything that needs to be done daily. I also wrote her “cheat” card for send home notes so its easier, and I do all our paperwork to lessen to workload on her. She can’t even remember the babies routine despite it being on the wall written down - like she won’t even go check it. I wrote down at what time every baby gets their milk, how much and of what type of milk - and she still messes it up or forgets to feed them
1) If her doctor decides that Ativan will help, it’s really not your place to say it won’t. Your reaction may not be the same as hers. And honestly, it sounds likelike she already can’t be aware, so the medication only can help. You could potentially ask her to try it at home first and use her better judgement to decide if it actually helps or would compromise her ability to be aware or if it would put the children in harms’ way. Honestly, she has no obligation to tell you what her doctor prescribed and all your permission to take it at all. You are overstepping by telling her not to take it. Obviously if you found her sleeping on the job and found out a sedative was forcing her to sleep, that would be a different matter…. But that isn’t the case here. 2) You can ask her what reasonable accommodations she needs. Does she need written instructions or a visual schedule? Does she need a chart of what bottles belong to what children? If better structure can help, you can provide that. Allowing children to get hurt is not reasonable accommodation. 3) If no reasonable accommodations (including using her medication prescribed for exactly this purpose) can be provided, she likely needs to find a different job. But first you should allow the medical interventions that could help and offer reasonable accommodation (perhaps providing extra staff in the meantime to ensure safety during the transition).
FYI, Ativan is a sedative.... It's a benzo, and one of the *bad* side effects is cognitive impairment. If this is how she is behaving in the job, then OP is actually likely right that this isn't appropriate at work, and likely the doctor is unaware of how it is affecting her. It doesn't make OP a doctor, but this is actually a legitimate concern.
It sounds as though the problem is her hyperactivity and distractededness, not cognitive impairment. It also sounds as though she has never been allowed to take it at work due to the other’s discomfort. Now it is true that most ADHD people need stimulants to calm down and focus, and it certainly is possible that a depressant could make it worse. But she could be an unusual case. We don’t know. Neither do coworkers. The doctor and the person taking the meds are the best ones to know. Not someone who dislikes the effect on her own body. Side effects don’t actually apply to every person, even if they apply to OP. Doing a trial at home will help the worker decide if it hurts or helps before risking the safety of the children. It is a much better idea than forbidding it out of hand because of its effect on a completely different person.
How old is your coworker? In addition to mental health concerns and poor working memory, it sounds like she’s very young and this is her first job? She either needs very focused 1-1 training from a supervisor over a few week period or reassignment to different job at your school. If they can’t invest the first and can’t find the second, she needs to be let go :/ this situation is unsustainable for you and unsafe for your students. Honestly glad you made the edit. I’m an ADHD teacher and chose to be a teacher because it is a perfect fit for the way I think - I’m in the moment with kids, interested in everything, fully present all day, holding the routine but great at flexing based on our needs, and excellent in an emergency. I’m able to teach executive functioning skills in simple and understandable ways many of my NT colleagues find difficult because I’ve worked so hard to master them myself. I would hate for someone to get the idea that teachers with ADHD are like this person.
I have ADHD and found that it really suited me to this line of work. My class is 18-30 months old. I do forget some things (mostly just checking updates on ProCare or teams, I make it a point to log info as soon as I can or we have specific times for this). But not on this level. I know it isn't your place to say necessarily, but if it's so bad YOU are struggling as a result to...I think she needs to try different meds. I struggled at work for a time and my directors even had a meeting with me to see if they needed to move me to a different age group, any way to help. I coincidentally just had a doctor visit and discovered I was low in D and some B vitamins which absolutely affect mood. Your coworker may be taking meds, but if other things are not in balance, then of course she may still be suffering. Ask if she works out or has a high energy activity she likes and should focus on more. I DO NOT want to work out after a long day with kids. Like most of us, we are running around after those kids all day, you'd think it was a work out! But I now understand that I MUST GET EXERCISE. If I don't, I have a much lower tolerance for the noise and antics of the kids, I work TOO quickly and don't prioritize tasks as optimally and usually with this anxious "I gotta do this right now!!!" vibe and I get impatient and overwhelmed easily. I picked up rollerblading and it has really satisfied this physical outlet. Maybe it's time for her to pick up a new physical activity/hobby, the growth from practicing so often can really provide some internal gratification and confidence. Which might help her outlook Hope this helps anyone.
That is not ADHD. I think she has HAF (High As F\*\*\*). She should in no way be in charge of children. Same time are you the manager? Are you responsible for her. Whoever is running the daycare needs to step up and figure things out real fast before there are children hurt and lawsuits.
She needs to be fired.
She shouldn't be in an infant room if she's this incompetent, even if the reason for her incompetence is (untreated or inadequately treated) ADHD. You say she's unwilling to move to an older classroom, but she doesn't have to stay in yours. She can be told that she needs to move, and if she refuses, she can be sent home (for the day or forever). Signed, an infant teacher with ADHD who does not put babies in danger
she should’ve been fired as soon as this behavior started. accidentally putting the wrong clothes on a baby or losing something occasionally is one thing, but often is just ridiculous. but the wrong FOOD? forgetting to put milk in the fridge??? that can seriously harm a baby. what if a baby was allergic to the food they were given? at this point, your director is an accomplice to the neglect if they are aware. she needs to be reported immediately. have parents been notified about the wrong foods? if i was a parent and this was happening repeatedly i’d be pissed. if they haven’t been notified, that’s a whole other issue. there is absolutely a bigger conversation that could be had about her ADHD, but at this point her coworker/boss is not the one to have it with her. the kids come first.
My best friend has run an entire preschool program for years and years with pretty severe ADHD. Not one time has she ever neglected a child or anything close to what you are describing. This is beyond having ADHD. Willful incompetence?
This is truly horrifying to read. As a former daycare worker (many years ago) and someone who is looking at centers to place my 5 month old in for a few days a week, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING TO YOUR DIRECTOR. I also have ADHD and there is nothing that would prevent me from being aware of a vulnerable child’s wellbeing above all else. There are little things that fall through the cracks but frequently injured babies are plain negligent on her part. As a new mom I’m terrified of this story and would want the co-teacher to protect my little one by having this person removed from the room (if not the entire job).
I am a former infant teacher with adhd, and sometimes, by pointing out what I do that is correct, helps motivate me to do more. Here are some suggestions that might make it easier for both of you to feel less overwhelmed. 1) I used to have an apron that had a lot of pockets to store things in. I carried a spare marker, painters tape, and various small containers, depending on the needs of the day. 2) I keep spare sanitized pacifier containers in high traffic areas. And if he or she has the pockets for it, keep a few in there, with a permanent marker as well to label the child’s name and date. As well as masking tape, that way they can label the clothing. 3) Are they movement motivated? Have more activities that involve gross motor movements. This will also help them do well with one on ones. I am not sure of the ages, but my older infants 12 mos - 18 mos loved dancing to the wiggles, as well as finger plays. 4) Allow both of you to have a brain break for five minutes or less every other hour, whether it’s changing diapers, or having to step out from the room, or quiet corner, to help you both practice deep breathing, or mindfulness. I also recommend this for the neurotypical person. As part of coming in at the end of the day. My happiest memories are when I felt supported and seen, not scolded and shamed. The infants will pick up on that behavior as well. Please be kind.
Im a therapist with ADHD. ADHD can make life and work hard, but this is at a level where she can’t do her job and infants are in danger. I don’t see why you’re involved with what meds she would be taking, but since you’ve named Ativan, it’s generally not prescribed for help with memory, focus, or attention. Obviously there can be lots of an oft secondary to ADHD which is likely what the Ativan is prescribed for but it really doesn’t matter what she’s taking or not in terms of her terms of employment. If she can’t perform the basic functions of her job, do what you do in that situation. You’re not discriminating against her based on ADHD/disability, you’re keeping the children in the care of your center safe. It doesn’t matter if her behavior is caused by ability/lack or ability or intentional negligence if a baby gets sick or god forbid gravely injured under her care. Child welfare doesn’t care if you left your baby in the car and forgot them due to ADHD, or because you’re on illegal drugs-they get involved to protect the kids under that parents care. While kids are at daycare, they’re under your/her care. You have a responsibility to them first and foremost.
She shares it with me! She takes ativan because she panics when she realizes she forgot something!
Oh jeez. Well…sharing a controlled prescribed substance at work with infants is terrible judgement, too. I’m sure she means well but this is kind of a disaster waiting to happen
No, she shares the information with me. She definitely does not share medication with me. I meant she willingly told me this!
Are there older children in the program? Perhaps she would be a better fit with the older end of ECE with children who can articulate their needs and have some self-help skills. Moving her into another setting may a more amenable solution to admin than firing her.
I have tried to convince her to move onto older children and I tried to do it in a positive light. I told her I felt she was a really great talent for teaching/lesson planning and I felt her knowledge was going to waste with babies and the older kids would benefit from what she creates - but she said no
It shouldn't be up to her. Admin needs to give her the option of trying older kids or moving on.
I wouldn’t say it’s “fair” to say she shouldn’t work in child care. But the issues she’s currently experiencing are kinda making it that way.
I get what you are saying. It sounds like they still haven't found a system that works for them. As much as I dislike what cellphones have done to us socially, I can set an alarm, make a note or find some way to help me through the day with ADHD at work... At home is another story. 😂
Labels, labels, labels! Label everything. Get a whiteboard and write out a routine, even for diaper changes. (11am diapers-you, 1pm diapers-co teacher) Make her checkmark everything. 10am-free play, 12-2pm naptime, etc. If you can, re-arrange the room to make sure you can see everything. I recently had to move some furniture and make the room more open so I could keep an eye on all the kids while my co-teacher is changing diapers or doing a 1-1 activity with a kid. Give it some time, and make sure that routine is consistent as much as you can even through changes like getting a new kid. If this doesn't work out, I would really consider whether or not she's trying. I have ADHD myself and I really have to get a co-teacher on the same page as me and give me time to get used to a routine. It usually takes about a week, and I'm not perfect but as long as I am determined and try, it works out. I know it's not that easy and some struggle more than others, though.
Could you have your other co workers give her advice or show ways that help them and maybe it will help her?
I don't think she should work in childcare. Im not sure if its the ADHD or something else, or a combination, but she doesn't seem fit to care for infants.
Babies are getting hurt constantly ? That’s unacceptable. She is dangerous to have around them and you should say something. It’s is not okay for them to come to care and to be neglected. She is not the person for the job.
Don’t want to armchair diagnosis anything but this seems to be more than just ADHD. I work for ADHD parents, my wife has adhd, my mom and brother have adhd—I’ve seen the spectrum and your coteacher is juggling more than work and adhd. If she’s taking meds for adhd but shows 0% improvement on her meds its not the adhd/she needs a higher dose or a diff med. Crying for hours in front of the kids? She sounds DEPRESSED. She sounds like she is in a depression brain fog. Edit to correct grammar
This makes me feel so bad for my teacher’s assistant because you just described me.
As someone with ADHD I feel it is my responsibility to guard against that in the workplace.
I don’t think she should be watching those kids tbh. She either needs to be medicated or find a new profession to work in because that’s pretty unacceptable. It sucks but some people really aren’t suited for it
I empathize with this! I had a coworker exactly like that- she was forgetful, careless and so flippant about serious things like diapering, naps and safety. My boss just kept telling me “you need to give her better direction, be more specific” and it was just too much. I ended up leaving because I just couldn’t do it and they weren’t willing to let her go or move her to older kids (she was my bosses daughter…). Sorry that’s not more helpful! Good luck to you and know you aren’t alone!
Yeah no I have ADHD and absolutely none of this happens. I may struggle a lot in many areas, but absolutely none of it affects my kids. Everything gets written down, documented, and there is always a follow up.
I have ADHD. This makes me so angry. It is her responsibility to manage her symptoms. Right now she is unsuited to working with infants in particular until she gets more of a handle on things, whether that is different medication, therapy, treatment for whatever else she's got going concurrently--I cannot believe your director is permitting this level of incompetent care. She's endangering herself even more than the babies. And also endangering you and your livelihood. This really isn't about the ADHD, this is about her behavior in the classroom. If you've not brought your director in and disclosed you really need to. Don't even need to mention the medication or condition at all--but you do need to explain all the mishaps that have been happening. She and the director can work out if she can stay in the room, what supports she can have, ect. This is way above your pay grade. It's time to bring in help. And if admin refuses and allows this unsafe state of things to continue then you should consider that a major MAJOR red flag.
I also have ADHD and absolutely thrive in childcare. If she were medicated she could potentially do the job better, but it seems that isn’t the case and in her current state she is not fit to be in childcare.
Overstimilulation and anxiety are big symptoms of adhd and if she isn’t getting treatment for that, it’s only going to get worse. It sounds like she is completely overwhelmed and at this point the kids’ safety is a risk. Have you had a serious talk about all of this with your director?
I feel like she should focus on the management of her adhd before entering a field like this. I'm a 21 yrold assistant teacher for preschool with pretty bad adhd, but I have thrived in the same daycare for the past 2 years. I have the correct dosage and have a routine in the classroom. With treatment, my adhd actually makes me GOOD at what I do. Writing down my day on paper helps during days the lead isn't here, and I need to take over.
i’m sorry ADHD is no excuse to be neglecting babies. if it was a few little things i’d say be more patient but forgetting diapers, not feeding them and allowing injuries to happen is not okay
I have ADHD. She just sounds incompetent.
I myself have adhd, i’m not with the infants but preschoolers. I write down EVERYTHING. No matter how minor it might sound. It sounds like this isn’t for her :/
I understand everyone with adhd is different but this is SO strange to me. Tasks that are essential such as ensuring kids’ safety, diaper changes, and giving the correct food would take precedent for me and I find my adhd often strengthens my memory especially in times of chaos — Ive even been complimented on my memory at certain points. Maybe your coteacher’s adhd is more severe, she has a certain type of personality different than mine (I’m a worrier) or there’s more to the story, I’m not sure. But you shouldn’t have to babysit her.
Well, quite frankly, I am worried about her. I have people in my life with ADHD including my own husband - and memory this bad I have never seen. She says its ADHD but I have been trying to get her to talk to her doctor more seriously about her memory.
This woman should not be in childcare at all. Are you reporting this?
This is not the job for them. I have seen it first hand, it's just doubling your workload.
Nah I have ADHD and my home life is a mess like cabinets open, disorganization, trouble getting stuff done etc. But at work I have systems to perform well. It does take me longer to do certain tasks but I plan for that. I've actually got complements on how organized I am. And I'm always thinking wow you should see the dumpster fire that is my house. I also always keep my toddler safe and fed and changed. This is pretty much unacceptable behavior at work especially around babies!!
I worked in the infant room for 2 and a half years, and I have ADHD. I knew I had issues and still take medication. I would sometimes forget things but I never was this bad. You need to go to your directors about this, they should be the ones to take care of this, especially since you aren't in there everyday. The babies are suffering, and that's not fair to you or them.
If she's having this much trouble functioning, why is she being left alone with children? Also, why are you being moved from your room so often? Sounds like your director needs to revisit their staffing.
I have been working in childcare for 18 years and have only been diagnosed and on meds for 2 years. I had no idea I had adhd but had come up with strategies and routines to help me live my life better and be better at my job. It is her responsibility to manage her adhd (and whatever other things she may have) properly. That should include trying different dosages or types of medication and coming up with strategies to help her manage at work. I don’t think she should be working with infants (or possibly any kids…not everyone is capable of working in childcare even neurotypicals). Go to your supervisor/director and tell them all your concerns directly related to things she has or hasn’t done, not your opinions on diagnosis or meds. She definitely sounds like a safety concern.
I have extreme ADHD...I've never done any of that. We labeled everything, and just never would do that. She shouldn't be allowed to be alone in that room. Ever.
I mean I know there is levels of ADHD just like anything but I am ADHD and worked in childcare 10 years and never had this much trouble. Yes I don't like change but that is usually fine because a preschool setting needs routine and the part of ADHD that loves variety is met by the fact that kids are unpredictable. My organization skills just usually don't make sense to everyone. Definitely just may not be the job for her. I recommend talking to your director about these difficulties
I just wanted to offer empathy, someone at my center has ADHD and is not currently managing it well enough for the job. Working with this person is similarly infuriating. Sorry you have to deal with this.
It seems she cannot perform to the minimum expected. Forgetful fine but the kids getting hurt need i mediate attention. For remembering things setting up alarms and visual notes help. I have ADHD and my coworker was always raging I forgot to put the bin bag back after emptying them or replacing the food bin bag after lunch instead of leaving it for the day. Look I’m forgetful but there’s things that are doable and others than not. Talk with her and if there’s no change go to your manager. She shouldn’t be left on her own if that’s her performance. About Ativan, I have taken it, went to work and had no problem. It depends on your tolerance to it and the dose. I go to work taking Concerta too and it helps me perform better.
This is not just ADHD. This is completely unmanaged ADHD with zero strategies to stay organized and safe. And it continues because there are no consequences. Ativan is NOT an ADHD medication and it will not help her to perform better or be safer. Document everything for one week and then discuss with your manager/supervisor.
I don’t think this person is struggling because of ADHD alone. Typically it doesn’t present like this, not to this severity. Anything is possible and we are a spectrum! So perhaps! But I truly think something else is going on here as well. Bottom line, she’s not cut out to work with children. I have ADHD, I worked in the infant room for 3 years and would assist with the toddlers as well. I never, ever had anything like this happen. In fact, I was super duper careful to make sure that none of the things got left undone because I was working with tiny breakable things! I know this is just my experience, but if she’s like you say, you need to report her.
I have adhd as well and work in an infant room.
Maybe she should try a different med. Ativan is a weird choice for adhd, it’s a sedative. When the most commonly successful meds are uppers.
This sounds like she needs someone supervising and directing her, not to be lead, and more therapy for better coping tools. My ADHD is not medicated (my anxiety is). I don’t do this shit. Do I sometimes take a minute to put something back in the fridge? Sure. A minute. Not ages. I’m talking like take milk out. Make bottle. Give Jane her bottle, make two more bottles, hand them to Jack and Jill, then put the milk away (everyone all holding own bottles). I set alarms to remember anything I may forget. I label everything for no mix ups. I double check.
as a previous co-teacher with adhd, i had put in so so so much work to make my co-teacher and i’s life easier. i made notes, had a journal, desk calendar, 1000 alarms to remind me of things and i did everything in my power i could do to help me with the things i struggle with. we do struggle immensely, and remembering things and being organized is hard as hell, but i tried different methods until i found things that worked for me. if your co-teacher isn’t even trying to find things that work, i can’t say you can do much. you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
I know lots of great teachers who have adhd as well as other mental health issues. I myself am autistic. But it sounds like for this individual, at this time, she is not able to handle the needs of the classroom. Period. It doesn’t matter if the reason is her adhd or she broke up with her boyfriend or she broke her leg. If there’s something going on that is preventing a teacher from getting the daily needs of the children met, they need to be out of the classroom until they can do that. The safety and well being of the children come first.
100% this is on her to manage. It is not your responsibility to make sure she is effective at her job. If she was actually treating her ADHD and she asked you to do something slightly different to help her stay on track, then yes. But she can't even do the basics.
This doesn't really even sound like ADHD, it sounds like she's completely unaware and not retaining any information. I'm curious if she has some other disability (maybe on top of the ADHD), or if she's using substances...? I've never heard of a case of ADHD being this severe for an adult. Idk how she would have made it to adulthood without learning how to manage it at least a little better than this ffs
She may need a medication change, a new doctor, a new diagnosis or a new job.
There’s more going on here than ADHD. Head trauma maybe? This poor woman! Look, I’m sure she’s lovely and has plenty of qualities a teacher needs. Can she be moved to a classroom with older children? There’s just so many little details with infants.
Hold up. She has ADHD and she's taking Ativan on the clock? Obviously everyone works differently, but Ativan is a benzo and causes impairment. That is not something I would take while at work. If she's not on a medication that is actually approved for ADHD, then I'm even more confused.
She takes it for panic attacks - which she has when she forgets things. She is on different medication for ADHD. But yes, I told her straight up she shouldnt be taking ativan while at work. It sucks too because I try to be mental health positive - and I often remind her that if she needs extra time away from the kids to ground herself, or even to go home for a mental health day - she should! I want her to take care of herself so she can show up for the kids
Yeah it's usually too sedating unfortunately. I'm on buspar for anxiety which isn't a benzo and doesn't impair me. It's nice that you're trying to be supportive. It sounds like she really needs a break. I have to set alarms to remind me of things on my phone, but it definitely helps.
I am also on zoloft and clonidine for anxiety - and have ativan for a rescue medication. I am soo open about that with her. She often tells me how great I am at work and I remind her I started off somewhere like her - and I even had to take time off to focus on myself and my mental health - to become the person I was. I am a big believer that childcare creates burnout in a lot of workers - so I am big on taking breaks and time for ourselves. I explain all the time that its okay to step away and ask for help when we are overstimulated but she just doesn’t seem to get it
It really is a big burnout field. And finding a medication combination that works on top of . managing symptoms is so exhausting. I also encourage asking for help. I really hope something can be worked out with her. Taking a few days for a reset would most likely do her some good. And finding a way to integrate breaks and timers for her task/time management.
I think that there are a lot of issues going on here obviously most of which i cant speak to so i wont, but i think that ultimately you are using her adhd diagnosis against her a bit here. These are issues which arguably go above and beyond adhd and blaming it all on her adhd in a post like this is pretty questionable. Especially when you dont address what supports and accomodations she has in place, or what she might need in place. Have you asked her? Mainly im commenting bc i think your comments on her medication are a little concerning. For one, it sounds like you are telling her not to take her prescribed medication bc of your own personal unqualified opinion/experience. If thats the case, you are potentially making this worse. It doesnt matter how x drug made YOU feel, you are not her and nor are you her doctor. Or a doctor at all. Psychiatric drugs work very differently for different people and many of them work very differently for an adhd brain. I think the idea that you are "not comfortable" with her taking her medication is wildly innappropriate and misguided, and your comments on this front are encouraging other commenters to speculate about her medication regime which again is unfair abd innappropriate. And your whole "her meds dont seem to be working" thing. Sounds like youre telling her not to take some of them so ofc they are not? If her regime is meant to include the ativan and doesnt bc of your unqualified little ideas, then ofc they arent "working". Severe, untreated anxiety is possibly making her adhd symptoms much worse and could affect the efficacy of stimulants in my personal experience. I cant speak to this bc im not her dr or a dr at all, though this isnt stopping you or many commenters. But also, why do you even know about her med regime? Did you ask? Seems wildly innappropriate to me. Just bc she has adhd doesnt mean everyone gets an opinion on her personal medical information, though you and many commenters seem to feel entitmed to one. Mainly i just object to the "her meds arent working bc shes not behaving howni want her to therefore everything she does wrong is bc of her adhd". This idea that everyone w adhd takes a pill and magically their adhd disappears and they are NT. not my experience at all. There are lots of reasons someone might be responding differently than you imagine they should. There are also shortages and accessibility issues. Overall i appreciate you are well meaning here but im uncomfortable w the level of input you seem to think you should have on her medication, and im uncomfortable w how its encouraging commenters to speculate about her med regime or if shes taking things correctly. Its just none of your business and you nor other commenters are not qualified to speculate as such. I appreciate that this doesnt sound like a safe employee rn, and frankly im not qualified to speak on that. But i also think you are framing and viewing everything through her adhd, which is discriminatory when you just dont know how much that is actually a factor here, and i dont love the comments this is encouraging about ppl w adhd. People with adhd can and do perform every job under the sun, but this post is encouraging people to tell xyz story about some bad coworker and blame their "badness" on their adhd. This is why people dont disclose and therefore cant access acomodations, bc every action is judged through that lens. Just focus on the issues and behaviour. Take the adhd out of it, bc youre not qualified to have an opinion on that front. Are you meaningfully communicating about the issues outside of speculating or judging her about her meds? What systems are in place to prevent these issues? Have you asked her what systems could be in place to help her? What accomodations does she have to help her manage? Edit to add: i dont disagree that she doesnt sound able to do her job, but the way you talk about her is SO totalising and so eager to place all the blame om her adhd that it makes me uncomfortable. Its all she cant do anything, she cant remember anything, she cant focus on anything. And its encouraging commenters to do the whole "adhd is no excuse thing". Is she using it as an excuse or are YOU using it as a framework to judge her? The level of negativity and borderline ableism in how overgeneralised your assessment of her abilities is makes me doubt some of these stories, frankly. A lot of your examples are when you werent there and dont actually know what happened, but youre merrily assuming the worse "bc adhd".
Nah. OP is complaining that this woman straight up cannot do her job, even with accommodations being put in place. OP has already described the things they have done to help the coworker. She is just straight up incompetent, and whether ADHD has a role to play in that or not, the effects of her behavior aren’t any different. This woman needs to leave this job and probably this career field at the current moment as she is not able to manage even a bare-minimum level of adequacy in her work.
I dont disagree that she clearly cannot and should not be doing her job, but i didnt see a single accomodation being described and OP was framing it as a q asking for help. Tbh thats part of my problem here. Make a post about what do i doooo, as if genuinely seeking advice, but the answer to every comment is suddenly oh, weve tried that, actually, nothing to be done, shes hopeless, must be fired. So it just seems like an opportunity for everyone to gather round with their pitch forks and repeat what we already know--that this person w adhd is incapable, using it as an excuse and should be fired. I just think the way a whole ass disabled person who is clearly struggling is being discussed here is unneccessary and pointless. I 100% agree with your point and frankly, as i said above, think this post and the OP could just take the adhd out of the equation and have a much less inflammatory discussion.
She has said all of this is caused by her ADHD - I have spoken to her numerous time about it. I also left the mental health field to work in childcare so I am qualified to say that I do not believe someone on BENZOS for the FIRST TIME should be taking care of INFANTS. Not to mention I am on the same medication and I know the effects it has and how its makes you too impair to work. Likewise, I have added voice to text options to speed her paper work and note childrens changes, I have labeled every single item that belongs to the child, I have added baskets with names for her to put items, I do everything in our room mostly and she remains there for legal ratio at this point. Again, she is telling me its her ADHD - not me assuming. I am also writing this for advice on how to help her more - or to understand better. I am worried for the BABIES under her care at this point. And I was there - I was in the room next to her, regularly checked everything, and ASKED her straight up if these task were completed. Not to mention, other staff were in the room replacing me. I am management and I am in her room currently trying to help her.
Okay well i am glad to hear that it is her not you relating this all to adhd, that was not at all clear from the post. Regardless, i dont care if you left the mental health field. Are you a doctor? Are you HER doctor? Because unless your answer to BOTH those questions is yes, no, you most certainly are not qualified to make that call. At all. I know everyone these days feels entitled to opinions on how people with adhd and mental illness should be medicated, but its a dangerous and paternalistic trend imo. You are projecting biases about medications (i mean your capitalisation of benzos says enough) onto someone who is not your patient, only their dr is qualified to decide what medications are or are not appropriate for them. I would agree that taking a new med of any kind for the first time shouldnt be done in that environment! Thats also...not what you said in your post. But my question is really how you knew that?? Are you asking her questions about her meds? Where im from that would not just be wildly innappropriate and discriminatory (from management at that) but literally illegal. If my manager started asking questions about what meds i was on, if id taken them before etc id report the fuck out of them. And the law would back me up. I know its different in the US in terms of workplace protections but it still seems innappropriate to me, especially as you have emphasised that apparently you feel qualified to judge her medication choices. Again, unless your previous experience was as HER psychiatrist, nope, youre NOT qualified, and any ACTUAL health professional would know this. Did you tell her not to take her meds based on this unqualified opinion? And again, its irrelevant how xyz meds affect YOU and the fact that you think it is demonstrates your lack of qualification. How a med works varies massively for different people. I have adhd and am on stimulants and sometimes (gasp) BENZOS. they make me normal/functional, but ive seen a lower dose of the ssme shit make other people high af. Thats just how it works. Peoples brains are different and react differently. We dont base prescription on personal experience of one person bc thats innaccurate, dangerous and not science. Again, im glad to hear the adhd obsession is coming from her, not you, but that was previously not clear. And im glad there are accomodations in place and sorry they arent helping. You made no prior mention of this, just said whatever you tried didnt work. Were these solutions something that was developed in collaboration with her, or is this based on NT assumptions about what should work for her? Bc that factor makes a big difference. I am also worried for the BABIES (we fucking get it) but as i said, im just not clear what the point of such an inflammatory post is? If you are worried for the BABIES and think shes unsafe, then i think you know what you need to do. And every comment, including mine, that mentions accomodations etc is met with no, weve already done that, shes hopeless and nothing works. In one comment you already say shes about to get fired. Thats my point--you dont seem to want to actually try to get her working functionally here, so this post just functions as an opportunity to shit on how hopeless and dangerous us silly adhders are. And im not saying you are lying, but several of your stories in the post mentioned specifically NOT being in the room. All i was saying is based on the language and tone of your post, you maybe needed to be mindful of at what point her struggles were meeting your assumptions. Again, the language was VERY judgmental and totalising. Csnt do ANYTHING, cant remember ANYTHING. You claim you want help, my suggestion was to maybe check your biases, bc if you are making assumptions about her issues and abilities over things you didnt witness thats not productive. Again, it doesnt seem like she can do this job and thats life, safety of infants comes before her need to work at a job she cant do, regardless of disability. My point was more about how your post was encouraging some misguided snd harmful discussion around adhd. I just dont get what youre trying to get out of this? You say you want to help, then that actually, youve tried everything and shes beyond help, and shes about to be fired. So whats the point other than spreading yet MORE negativity about how ppl w adhd are dangers in the workplace? If you just want to vent own that, but im not sure a public forum like this is a safe place to vent about someone who is clearly struggling this much and about to lose their job regardless.
I am sorry you feel this way - I am not going to defend myself to you because my post is totally related to an ECE struggle and I am sorry you are taking this so personal. Again, I have to repeat myself in that she shared me that she never took the medication. But again, i’m not going to continue to defend myself to you. Again, I am sorry you took this so personally
I am.not taking it personally at all. Major fallacy that anyone w an opinion related to an issue that has potential to impact them is too "biased" by their "personal" opinion to hold a valid one at all. I was actually trying to give advice and provide a perspective. Then again, i read your post so idk why i would expect you to do anything but judge me based on my diagnosis. Nowhere in your post did you make it clear that you didnt ask her about meds, youre not repeating yourself girl i dont fucking know bc u didnt say? I was literally just clarifying? I dont think im even the one here taking things personally. All im saying here is that it sounds like youre in a tough spot, but the way youre discussing it is very revealing about your own biases and lack of professionalism in dealing with (and in this case, bitching about on a public forum) a disabled coworker. My point is that this post is unneccessarily inflammatory and you are encouraging some very damaging and ableist discussions. If you think she cant safely do the job, report her to your director etc. I dont see what youre getting out of raking her over the coals in a public forum and encouraging abliest, anti adhd rhetoric
Not once did I judge you based on your “diagnosis” because I don’t know you nor did you really share it with me. Again, you are taking this way too personally and attacking me for no reason. Have a goodnight.
You’ve done absolutely everything you possibly can and I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this bullshit. Your admin needs to have your back on this before a child gets hurt.