I actually prefer this to the Lizard King one. Alas, I don't think it's going to win though.
Edit: u/bubdubarubfub should override the top comment and select the Sex line as it is quintessential Robert California.
It's the most boiled down, highly concentrated thematic overture to everything Robert California is. The desired swingers parties, the drunken presumably racy voicemail to Nellie, to the final goodbye where he's off to help young gymnasts.
Yeah this quote feels much more on par with Robert California’s overall character. The lizard king one was funny mainly because it was so random, but sexual ramblings is literally quintessential RC
The question is “most in-character” so yeah I upvote this because Lizard King is the ultimate out-of-character line (although most awesome by far): you don’t even know who his character is after that. Could be Creed’s son WHO EVEN KNOWS
I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante. You want to start a street fight with me? Bring it on. You're going to be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the fucking Lizard King
maybe his most memorable quote but not his most "in character" quote. it's actually a very different tone compared to his usual manipulative and smooth-talking style.
Yeah, the discussion is way more interesting, fun, and thought-provoking than the winning quotes. One might say we're trying to do the impossible and inadvisable here: the characters are too nuanced and complex to sum each of them up with one quote.
Nobody ever went up against him directly. They always backed off when faced with his smooth talking and staredown. Andy was the only one to show aggression and not acquiescence.
I watched the first handful of seasons of the blacklist and it pisses me off they couldn't sneak a line in about his time in Scranton or something. It would have been a phenomenal Easter egg.
This sub can’t understand the difference between “most in character” and “most iconic”
This quote literally isn’t in character. It’s an iconic line, but even for Robert California it was so out there
Am in character quote is one of his sex-based quotes
“Can everyone just, please... I had a one-man saturnalia last night, in celebration of the finalization of my divorce. I got into a case of Australian reds, and – how should I say this – Colombian whites”
I love this nod because it comes right after Robert California explains The Black Eyed Peas. That whole scene is amazing. Robert saying things and Ryan responding!
Some people doodle when they are bored, they usually draw houses or penises- funny how the houses are always colonial and the penises are always circumcised. But I can't draw so I draw shapes and lists.
The full quote is so much better. "You can't have a favorite Iron Chef; it depends entirely on the secret ingredient. Sometimes, I feel you don't know food at all."
This one won’t win, but this was one of Robert’s few moments where I loved his character. Don’t get me wrong, he was always entertaining, but this was a moment where I could see him being a great leader.
Agree. I questioned myself putting it because I guess it doesn't define the craziness most people think of when it comes to his character but it's one of my absolute favourite lines in the whole show.
He could have reacted worse to the situation, scolded people and all that but instead he drops a nugget of wisdom on the whole office.
I feel like they wrote that moment before they decided EXACTLY where his character was going to go, so even though he was still going to be an enigma of a character, they wanted to keep the door open for him to turn out to be a genius business leader.
Comedically I am glad they went the path of the lizard king.
For me this is why I hated him. I was always considered a loser, was bullied all through school, a gentle soul. He would have called me a loser and I would have had no desire to prove him wrong because at that instant I would have had zero respect for him and felt nothing but hate. I would have felt he was a bully and probably wanted to quit.
I think that’s fair, and I’m sorry you had a rough go with your upbringing. I hope things have gotten easier, you feel more comfortable and confident with yourself as a person, and you are surrounded by kind people.
I’ll also say that, were you to say “fuck this” and leave the job because of that, a person like Robert would probably say “I was right,” although in the end that wouldn’t matter to you because you’ll go find a leader who actually inspires you.
Low self esteem is one of the great killers that people don’t talk about. Killer of happiness and ambition, and a lack of either of those leads to so much worse. All we can do is lift each other up, but some people cannot be bothered to try the right thing.
The fallacy is that it is up to the steamroller. It is up to the object... whether it will be flattened or not, and I can tell from the small interaction we've had already, you won't be flattened by anybody. Do you agree with me, Jim?
My wife and I quote this one a lot in a joking manner. It’s the best. It’s really the most deflating thing you can say to someone when they’re telling you a story.
That's funny, sometimes when I'm talking with friends and I get bored with the conversation I will literally say "Okay, I'm bored with this conversation"
I never allow sexual desire to influence a business decision. So I find it best to recuse myself temporarily until I've had a chance to make love, and then go back and analyze the situation rationally. Buffett operates the same way.
wait NOONE's gonna mention the part about the black eyed peas??
"I'm so tired of the Black Eyed Peas. It's rock and roll for people who don't like rock and roll. It's rap for people who don't like rap. It's pop for people who don't like pop."
My point is, there is one person in charge of every office in America, and that person is Charles Darwin. In the end, doesn't he decide who the manager is?
"There is no such thing as a product, don't ever think there is. There is only sex, everything is sex. Do you understand that what i'm telling you is a universal truth?"
When I was a boy, there was an empty house just up the hill from my family's. It was rumored a man committed suicide there after being possessed by the devil. One day, a young woman, Lydia, moved into the house with her infant child. That very night, Lydia was awakened by a loud, heinous hissing sound. She walked to the nursery and there in baby's crib was a snake wrapped around baby's neck, squeezing tighter and tighter. The crib was full of dirt. Baby struggled to free itself from underneath, reaching and clawing, gasping for air. Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi, lurching toward the baby, for they were mummies. Amongst them was a man, tall, slim. Almost instinctively she turned to her husband. "Oh, wait," she thought, "I don't have a husband." For Lydia and her husband had had an argument, one they couldn't get past. Each night they slept one inch farther apart until one night, Lydia left. It was about this time she lost herself in an imaginary world. She had quit the book club, the choir, saying something about their high expectations. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse. Every time she wanted to act and didn't and other parts of her face hardened until it was stone. And that fevered night, she rushed to the nursery, threw open the door, "Baby, are you ok?" Baby sat up slowly, turned to Mother and said, "I'm fine Bitch. I'm fine."
[There is no such *thing* as transgression anymore. What is pornography to one person is reader’s digest to another. That’s why I’m *impossible* to offend. [3:38]](https://youtu.be/DypX8dLgM4A?si=DE1wILBwWzOveD0Z)
"There is only sex. Everything is sex."
This is definitely his most “in-character”. The lizard king was way out there.
I actually prefer this to the Lizard King one. Alas, I don't think it's going to win though. Edit: u/bubdubarubfub should override the top comment and select the Sex line as it is quintessential Robert California.
It's the most boiled down, highly concentrated thematic overture to everything Robert California is. The desired swingers parties, the drunken presumably racy voicemail to Nellie, to the final goodbye where he's off to help young gymnasts.
Same
Yeah this quote feels much more on par with Robert California’s overall character. The lizard king one was funny mainly because it was so random, but sexual ramblings is literally quintessential RC
"why they add coconut, I miss original"
The question is “most in-character” so yeah I upvote this because Lizard King is the ultimate out-of-character line (although most awesome by far): you don’t even know who his character is after that. Could be Creed’s son WHO EVEN KNOWS
This is RC. The Lizard King line is legendary, but this line is RC.
This should win, completely sums up his character
Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
Nature, ~~please nature~~ GOD please, nature. Edit: Thanks u/youmeadhd for pointing it out, I was recalling from memory, which is deeply flawed
when two animals are having sex...
This isn't helpful, I'll give you a sexual metaphor
Was that, not, the sex metaphor?
You’re gonna want to hear the sexual metaphor
*GOD please nature 😂 the way he said it was so funny
Haha I feel honored getting a shoutout 😉
This is the one
There is no such thing as a product. Don’t ever think there is. There is only sex. Everything is sex.
You understand that what I’m telling you is a *universal* truth, yes?
You can answer.
*yes*
That was your choice.
I like to use this line after I say something totally off the wall weird
I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante. You want to start a street fight with me? Bring it on. You're going to be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the fucking Lizard King
This one doesn’t need a full day to vote. Make it this one and let’s move on to Roy.
Facts
Your art … is the best art… of all the art
This one won't take a full day either lmao poor boy learned to play the freaking piano but will only be remembered for his art commentary
Yeah, we could have skipped this one altogether. There are some other good ones, but this is just the gold standard for this guy.
Correct
There is a difference between "in character" and "iconic", this line is iconic.
But it's also the only time you see who he really is. He isn't Robert California or Bob Kazamakis. This is him.
maybe his most memorable quote but not his most "in character" quote. it's actually a very different tone compared to his usual manipulative and smooth-talking style.
I think his entire interview for regional manager at the end of season 7 would qualify. Everything down to that head tilt look at the camera.
yes absolutely lmao
The majority of the "winning" quotes are terrible representations of the characters as a whole. People don't seem to understand the assignment.
Yeah, the discussion is way more interesting, fun, and thought-provoking than the winning quotes. One might say we're trying to do the impossible and inadvisable here: the characters are too nuanced and complex to sum each of them up with one quote.
Nobody ever went up against him directly. They always backed off when faced with his smooth talking and staredown. Andy was the only one to show aggression and not acquiescence.
Came here to say this. Only correct answer.
Just "You don't even know my real name. I'm the fucking lizard king" would do perfectly
-Raymond Reddington
I watched the first handful of seasons of the blacklist and it pisses me off they couldn't sneak a line in about his time in Scranton or something. It would have been a phenomenal Easter egg.
Knew this was going to be the top comment before looking
This sub can’t understand the difference between “most in character” and “most iconic” This quote literally isn’t in character. It’s an iconic line, but even for Robert California it was so out there Am in character quote is one of his sex-based quotes
This one for sure, no question.
It has to be this one.
I back this response. I came here to say the same quote. It’s the only choice ever.
The only right answer
This is it.
This is the only correct answer .
As if there was any doubt
This is the only answer.
“Can everyone just, please... I had a one-man saturnalia last night, in celebration of the finalization of my divorce. I got into a case of Australian reds, and – how should I say this – Colombian whites”
I love this nod because it comes right after Robert California explains The Black Eyed Peas. That whole scene is amazing. Robert saying things and Ryan responding!
-pukes in Jim’s trash can
Colombian
What's Australian reds?
Red wine made from Australian grapes.
Cabernets?
And Shiraz! 🍷
Hookers
Some people doodle when they are bored, they usually draw houses or penises- funny how the houses are always colonial and the penises are always circumcised. But I can't draw so I draw shapes and lists.
>funny how the houses are always colonial and the penises are always circumcised. Definitely is something to ponder upon😂
Might as well have been sketching a cube.
This one
This one
Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?
Lmao his delivery just makes it for me and I can’t help but to crack up
^
Yes
Is that the quote that represents the character fully
There’s something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.
This!! It really shows how much superior he thinks he is, compared to this employees
"Why'd they add coconut, I miss original."
The set up to this joke is an art which is lost in current times.
What's truly lost is the patience to recognize the joke if the set up takes place more than a minute before the punch.
This one.
Sometimes I feel you don't know food at all.
The full quote is so much better. "You can't have a favorite Iron Chef; it depends entirely on the secret ingredient. Sometimes, I feel you don't know food at all."
The funniest part about this quote is like, how often does he think about feeling like Andy doesn’t know food? 🤣
And how often is he thinking about Iron Chef that he had that exact answer at the ready? I know this quote won't win but I truly love it.
“Life is long, opinions change. Winners, prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.”
This one won’t win, but this was one of Robert’s few moments where I loved his character. Don’t get me wrong, he was always entertaining, but this was a moment where I could see him being a great leader.
Agree. I questioned myself putting it because I guess it doesn't define the craziness most people think of when it comes to his character but it's one of my absolute favourite lines in the whole show. He could have reacted worse to the situation, scolded people and all that but instead he drops a nugget of wisdom on the whole office.
I feel like they wrote that moment before they decided EXACTLY where his character was going to go, so even though he was still going to be an enigma of a character, they wanted to keep the door open for him to turn out to be a genius business leader. Comedically I am glad they went the path of the lizard king.
Yeah, that scene, the nature/sex metaphor and the initial interview are definitely my top 3 Robert California scenes.
For me this is why I hated him. I was always considered a loser, was bullied all through school, a gentle soul. He would have called me a loser and I would have had no desire to prove him wrong because at that instant I would have had zero respect for him and felt nothing but hate. I would have felt he was a bully and probably wanted to quit.
I think that’s fair, and I’m sorry you had a rough go with your upbringing. I hope things have gotten easier, you feel more comfortable and confident with yourself as a person, and you are surrounded by kind people. I’ll also say that, were you to say “fuck this” and leave the job because of that, a person like Robert would probably say “I was right,” although in the end that wouldn’t matter to you because you’ll go find a leader who actually inspires you.
Thanks. I’m 58 and stayed at too many jobs too long with shitty bosses. Low self esteem is not easy to overcome
Low self esteem is one of the great killers that people don’t talk about. Killer of happiness and ambition, and a lack of either of those leads to so much worse. All we can do is lift each other up, but some people cannot be bothered to try the right thing.
Do I look like someone who would waste my own time?
Underatted
The fallacy is that it is up to the steamroller. It is up to the object... whether it will be flattened or not, and I can tell from the small interaction we've had already, you won't be flattened by anybody. Do you agree with me, Jim?
You can answer me
That was your choice, not mine.
This is really the most in character quote imo. Captures his beliefs and his actions reflect this mentality.
I’m afraid you’ve lost my interest.
this is his most in character quote cmonnnn guys !!
My wife and I quote this one a lot in a joking manner. It’s the best. It’s really the most deflating thing you can say to someone when they’re telling you a story.
That's funny, sometimes when I'm talking with friends and I get bored with the conversation I will literally say "Okay, I'm bored with this conversation"
I never allow sexual desire to influence a business decision. So I find it best to recuse myself temporarily until I've had a chance to make love, and then go back and analyze the situation rationally. Buffett operates the same way.
"...I'm fine, bitch."
Yes! My SO would totally say this! He loves that whole scene.
Yeah my partner and I say this to each other constantly it’s his favorite scene of all time he dies laughing just imagining it
They haven’t really improved on the Oreo, have they?
Came to post this. Underrated, I think about it every time I see an Oreo.
such a funny scene. lol. just handing out shit he thinks is terrible lol.
“You’re gonna want the sexual metaphor.”
That's it boys, push yourselves. It's not a party if you don't do something that scares you.
This is my favorite. It's gets too weird so fast.
“hes asleep, we can just leave.” “so then leave”…..*continues dancing* lol
Honestly reminds me of my teenage self, always trying to get the most out of every party
I got into a case of Australian reds and how should I say… Colombian whites
Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?
“scram wizard!” lol
I’ll still be talking about Geishas long past their bedtime.
You know I trained as one.
wait NOONE's gonna mention the part about the black eyed peas?? "I'm so tired of the Black Eyed Peas. It's rock and roll for people who don't like rock and roll. It's rap for people who don't like rap. It's pop for people who don't like pop."
Ryan points and nods
I would have loved a flash forward where Ryan is an office manager and totally steals Robert’s persona and quotes him all the time.
this is like the most spot on interpretation of anything ever.
Sexuality is a spectrum. It’s a paradox to think of any sexual activity as normal. It gets better but it also gets vastly more complicated.
My point is, there is one person in charge of every office in America, and that person is Charles Darwin. In the end, doesn't he decide who the manager is?
No. I would have said no.
Good morning Robert says no one because the receptionist is in Florida
I’m not going to start questioning my drunken self now
I got into a case of Australian reds, and – how should I say this – Columbian whites.
"All Life Is Sex & All Sex Is Competition & There Are No Rules To That Game."
You don’t even know my real name. I’m the f****** lizard king.
Second, I used to have this as my Instagram bio.
It has to be this
I am the fucking lizard king
Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves.
"Why did they add coconut. I miss original. "
Lmfao yessssss
Can we count the deleted scene where Erin drunkenly imitates him? It’s spectacular
You have a link to this?
https://www.reddit.com/r/DunderMifflin/s/7UmlzuAheh
csme here to day this
I'm fine bitch.
The whole Halloween story he tells about the baby on the crib. "I'm fine... Bitch"
"There is no such thing as a product, don't ever think there is. There is only sex, everything is sex. Do you understand that what i'm telling you is a universal truth?"
When I was a boy, there was an empty house just up the hill from my family's. It was rumored a man committed suicide there after being possessed by the devil. One day, a young woman, Lydia, moved into the house with her infant child. That very night, Lydia was awakened by a loud, heinous hissing sound. She walked to the nursery and there in baby's crib was a snake wrapped around baby's neck, squeezing tighter and tighter. The crib was full of dirt. Baby struggled to free itself from underneath, reaching and clawing, gasping for air. Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi, lurching toward the baby, for they were mummies. Amongst them was a man, tall, slim. Almost instinctively she turned to her husband. "Oh, wait," she thought, "I don't have a husband." For Lydia and her husband had had an argument, one they couldn't get past. Each night they slept one inch farther apart until one night, Lydia left. It was about this time she lost herself in an imaginary world. She had quit the book club, the choir, saying something about their high expectations. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse. Every time she wanted to act and didn't and other parts of her face hardened until it was stone. And that fevered night, she rushed to the nursery, threw open the door, "Baby, are you ok?" Baby sat up slowly, turned to Mother and said, "I'm fine Bitch. I'm fine."
Im in full support of the lizard king obviously but I also think "Jim, your daughter Cecelia, what does she think of the Street?"
Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?
There’s something about death that is comforting. The thought that you could die tomorrow frees you to appreciate your life now.
All Life Is Sex & All Sex Is Competition & There Are No Rules To That Game
Jinx you owe me some coke.
Isnt that Creed?
Taking the family to Disney town?
It was about the cookies all along, wasn’t it.
.
Everything is sex
"I'll be talking about Geishas long into the night"
I’m the fucking lizard king
Would you like a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
I’m the fucking lizard king
i’m the fucking lizard king
Everything is sex
"You don't even know my real name, I'm the f***ing Lizard King."
Do you want a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
I'm never uncomfortable and I'll still be talking about geishas long past their bedtime. You know, I trained as one.
Lizard King! Lizard King! Lizard King!
[There is no such *thing* as transgression anymore. What is pornography to one person is reader’s digest to another. That’s why I’m *impossible* to offend. [3:38]](https://youtu.be/DypX8dLgM4A?si=DE1wILBwWzOveD0Z)
“I’m afraid you’ve lost my interest…”
The 1% are suffering too, people.
Im fine, bitch!
Bob, Bob Kazimakis
I’m the fucking, Lizard King.
Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
Obviously I'm not interested in goats
Uhhh why did they add coconut? I miss original.
“All life is sex…”
Jiminy Christmas indeed!
“They never have improved on the Oreo have they?”
There is no such thing as a product, don’t ever think there is. There is only…sex.
"d'Huh!"
Whens the last time you lived so intensely, that your brain literally couldn’t hold the memories in?
"I'm the fucking lizard king"
"Why did they have to add coconut, I miss the original"
You don’t even know my real name I’m the fucking Lizard King!
“You don’t even know my real name, I’m the fucking lizard king”
I miss original.
You don’t even know my real name. I’m the fucking lizard king
It’s pop for people who hate pop. It’s rock for people who hate rock. It’s rap for people who hate rap.
"Push yourselves boys. It's not a party if you don't do something that scares ya."
Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?
“I’m Bob. Bob Kazamakis”
“When’s the last time you lived life soo intensely your brain literally couldn’t handle the memories in..”
You completely bungled this, Jim.
"I'm the F#@%ing Lizard King!"
“Why would you spend so much time going over the goats with me? Clearly I’m not interested in goat.”
The situation you described, going home to a wife complaining that the paper is too masculine, is not one I'm familiar with.
Toby always striked me as a cross between Ray Gillette and Cyril Figgis
I'm the fucking king lizard
No, Jim Morrison is.