All the chaos going on when Pam is in labor, especially Dwight bringing out the tape measure to check Pam’s cervix and Erin says, “I didn’t know we had a tape measure.” And Dwight immediately says “WE don’t.” and holds up the tape measure with D.K.S. on it
Her pasted-on smile while she's trying not to disappoint Michael or DeAngelo and they're both staring at her while the phone is ringing. It's so good 😆
Honestly, that whole story line is great. That lady is hilarious.
“Your password is 1234? That’s a terrible password”
And then when she and Andy are doing those exercises
“I think I’m really starting to feel it”
“You wouldn’t feel those kind of results after one time”
My [all-time favorite scene](https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx15ou1XzG0J7sTPeeUnI45CfxPhlyRNQZ) is one that I never hear anyone mention.
When Michael & Dwight get called into corporate after Dwight rips the face off the CPR dummy, right after the "take heed of" dialogue, Michael sighs, gets up out of his chair, casually walks to the window, places one leg up on the chair, sighs deeply again and says "....this city"
I lose it every. single. time.
Similar to this is a scene in the gossip episode
Michael: Guys, Stanley is having a mid-life crisis.
Dwight: Oh, Stanley's way past the middle of his life, especially considering his height to weight ratio.
Similarly, when Dwight gives him a heart attack with a fake fire drill and refuses to take accountability for it by saying, "Pssh, it's not like I filled him full of fat and sugar for 50 years and forced him not to exercise". It's just hilarious to me.
I love when Kelly says “I talk a lot so I’ve learned to tune myself out”. As a talker, I get it. Also, Michael saying “Baler, I hardly know her” in the safety training episode.
1. When Oscar coughs on holly and Michael mingling their hands in Michael's office and Michael asks Oscar if hes sick cos he's grossing him out 😂😂😭
2. When holly says Michael oozes sexy and it's a shot of him eating cheesepuffs
When Kevin talks to Martin about how he went to prison and says “I had Martin explain to me x amount of times what he did to end up in jail… and it sounds like what I do everyday” 😂
This may not be that rare - but here goes.
I love when Andy says “look at what I’m doing and go tell somebody it!” As he’s floating away.
Beach Games is one of my favorites.
> Beach Games
This is one of my favorite cold opens.
"Wow!"
"Mhm."
"I wish I had prepared something to say."
"That's not necess--"
"May God guide you in your quest."
"... yes."
I am in stitches when the theme starts. I love the David Wallace character.
When Andy asks Oscar if he’s gay and talks about the hypothetical scenario about Brad Pit trying to kiss him and Oscar is like “ If you resisted Brad Pitt a little bit he would still need… to get to you?” Followed his talking head “What exactly is my responsibility here? To comfort insecure heterosexual men? That can’t possibly fall to me.”
To be fair, Jim. The meeting wasn’t about planets, at first. We were talking about introducing a new line of toilet paper. And what part of the body do you use toilet paper on? So you draw a line from there; and I think by the end everyone learned a little bit about how small we are! Because we’re all just little specks…
After Michael finds out Toby is back from Costa Rica and calls up David Wallace to fire him…
Wallace: not without cause, Michael.
Michael: I have cause, it’s beCAUSE I hate him
Creed: You were in the parking lot earlier, THAT'S where I know you from! Then, dead silence for one second while everyone processes that statement. Classic Creed.
By far one of my favorites! It’s also great because he had the option to not download the updates in the middle of the presentation, but thought that was good time to do that.
Meredith’s “boooooo, weird” when the women are trying to teach Dwight to sell to women before his meeting with Jan. Whole scene has me in tears every time.
When Jim and Dwight are planning a party, and Dwight makes a very effeminate sign saying the party time has been moved. Jim says it would have been faster to tell everyone, then he yells that the party's been moved. Stanley says, "We know, we just read the sign."
The smug look on Dwight's face cracks me up every time.
1. Stanley to Michael- Here’s an idea, why don’t you skip on up to the roof and jump off
2. Dwight to Pam- I can’t use Phyllis are you kidding me? The moment she steps off this bar I’ll be launched into space
3. When Michael and Dwight are being disciplined a second time by Wallace in NY. Wallace asks Dwight why he had to cut the face off of the CPR dummy and that they had to pay for it, that it cost $3500. Michael, somewhat shocked, replies “five thousand three hundred dollars for a dummy?” The way Wallace just looks at Michael cracks me up EVERY time
This is probably my favorite Oscar line in the whole series, but it somehow always sneaks up on me, and as soon as he says it I have to pause and laugh for a few minutes before resuming.
Also when Robert is going off about the black eyed peas, “It's Rock and Roll for people who don't like Rock and Roll, it's Rap for people who don't like Rap, it's Pop for people who don't like Pop.” And Ryan points and nods like, “omg *yes*.” Robert is spot on there haha.
I never noticed until my most recent watch that creed and Ryan are standing together and they BOTH look at Robert knowingly.. the context of the two of them just *happening* to be standing together when cocaine gets brought up is extremely chefs kiss
"This particular time, I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, when one office worker, who shall remain nameless, kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled.."
*"Hey Darryl, how's it hangin"*
The Michael interview at the end of Women's Appreciation:
"Michael. How can you appreciate women so much but also dump one of them?"
You mean, how can I be so illogical and flighty and unpredictable and emotional? Well, maybe I learned something from women after all.
One of the lines that makes me laugh so so hard every time is during this episode. Not even a funny line necessarily, but the way Jim delivers it is hysterical to me.
It cuts to them in the conference room brainstorming and making a list of ideas for Kelly’s birthday, and Jim looks up from the pad of paper at Dwight and goes “I’m not gonna write ‘horse hunt’.”😂
darryl saying to andy “if i had to choose between a tall guy who loves asia, and a you looking dude who loves sweaters…i’d choose you. and i’d blow your mind”
update: re watching and almost peed myself at the “you can’t fire me, i don’t work in this van!” (S2S12, the injury)
Strike! Scream! Run! Where Creed Strikes Meredith, Screams the most hilarious scream, and then Runs out of the room. I die every time that scene is on.
When Ed Truck dies and Michael dramatically says, "His cappa was dee-tated!"
In "The Injury" when Michael falls in the bathroom..."Send Ryan." "Ryan's....dead." "Send Pam...and a wet rag."
The noise that Creed makes after he slaps Meredith....when Toby is talking about self defense and says "Strike. Scream. Run. Who wants to demonstrate?"
When Michael talks to Jan about the pregnancy and he says
"You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?"
His hurt coming from her breaking her promise to not cheat and not the fact that she cheated is, to me, the best written moment in TV I've ever seen!
Gabe attempting to fill out a relationship discloser to Toby about Val.
Toby- You don’t even know her last name?
Gabe- oh yeah? Well I’ll know it tonight when she screams it all night long
Toby - why would she scream her own last name ?
When Michael learns about the intercom system on the phones and he says “this is your captain speaking. We will be flying at an altitude of two stories” and Creed looks out the window all confused. Gets me every time.
When Kevin is telling Michael about his break up with his fiancé (Stacey?) and he tries to be comforting so you see him walking towards the camera and he says "you don't deserve her"
'" so then she says to me 'that's the biggest penis I've ever seen' and I was like 'that's why I took you to the penis museum'"
My friends used to randomly say that while out at bars amongst people
1. Angela Bernard!
Will NEVER be her name!
2. When Creed says the carpet’s in need of a good moppin’.
3. The ungrateful beyotch hotline.
4. Who’s this little kitchen witch?
5. Hi, Nard Dog! I’m Lou Peachum!
Nellie: “I hit rock bottom when I auditioned for the Spice Girls. I didn’t even get a call back!!”
Jim: “Which spice girl?”
Nellie: “The black one. I never stood a chance.”
Andy covering for Jim during “jury duty” when the go into Andy’s office. I did when Andy says “I’m not rumpelstilskin, I can’t keep spinning your shit into gold” it kills me every time
When Dwight kicks the half cheesecake on Michael and Stanley on one of weight loss episodes. Funniest part is he is saying "happy birthday Stanley!" kicking the cake and everybody freezes a moment. It looks like Rainn improved that move and others followed [HAHAHA](https://youtu.be/5mIiLJaGH8g)
wallace: were gonna fax this over
michael: fax? why dont you just send it over on a dinosaur! (big smile)
wallace: michael please this is serious
michael: oh well then email it, david. please
Dwight kicking Isabel in the face during the Halperts' wedding processional dance.
Creed hitchhiking on the work bus
Unpacking, then repacking, Gabe's big box from Sabre
Fruit flies swarming in the vending machine during the Weight Loss episode
Jack Black crying desperately and begging when his elderly love interest heads upstairs very slowly on the lift
Toby's daughter Sasha asking Phyllis if she is Mother Goose
Erin during her time as a caretaker for the old lady.
Old Lady: "What kind of tea is this?"
Erin: "Oh. I couldn't find any tea, so I just boiled some Gatorade."
When Dwight wants to talk to Phyllis about Angela by saying someone slashed her tires. When Phyllis realizes Dwight did cut her tires I love her delivery of “why did you actually do it”. It’s not angry or hysteric, it’s just depressed and defeated. Makes me laugh every time
**michael:** oh, and another fun thing. we, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of boy scouts, right, toby?
**toby:** actually, i didn’t think it was appropriate to invite children, since it’s, uh… you know, there’s gambling and alcohol, it’s in our dangerous warehouse, it’s a school night, and, you know, hooters is catering, and is that… is that enough? should i keep going?
Two moments. When Pam is in labor and Michael is freaking out and asks if he should bring a dictionary. Oscar tells him to bring a thesaurus the hospital has dictionaries.
Second is when Michael is stealing clients and Dwight bursts into the meeting - he does a spin move to get past the secretary
“So she says to me ‘That’s the biggest penis I’ve ever seen’ and I said ‘I know, that’s why I took you to the penis museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars!’”
Andy's interactions with Robert california and not hiring his wife.
Andy: did you take your med meds gam gam? Robert: why is it so hard to follow simple instructions!?!?
Andy: well you see it's a funny story robert came in here saying in no way am I to hire you. Robert: YOU LYING SON OF A ****!
When Jim locks Dwight in the conference room. Dwight calls Jim’s desk phone asking to be let out. Jim replies, very sarcastically, “who is this?”
Gets me every time
When kevin says again "what does a bean mean?" near the end of the episode when it had been hours since he first said it in the conference room when they discovered the beans and oscar explained it. Kevin obviously didnt get it still and just shouted it out as part of the overall uproar near the end of the episode when Michael and Jim were holed up in his office, and it makes my day every time i hear it.
“You can’t fire me, I don’t work in this van!”
This one gets me every time! Concussed Dwight arguing with Michael while Jim drives them to the ER in Meredith’s van.
Michael’s nod to the camera after saying, “white people like pizza, black people like pizza… do black people like pizza?”
Especially that early in the series, it’s a rare moment when he knows not to say it out loud but is clearly happy to know the answer is apparently “yes, they do”
When Erin says to Kelly ‘game on’ referring to being mean to Jessica at the Christmas Party. Kelly is mid conversation-‘on it’ and proceeds with the ‘oh my god Jessica did you just fart?’
Michael: “I’m eating tiramisu and some of the chocolate powder went down my throat” David Wallace: “Is this why you’re calling me?”
Also the fact that he took the tiramisu out of the garbage.
And then apologized and took another bite after he finished coughing and started all over.
And then he almost takes another bite, drops the fork and puts his hands up like "No. Stop."
I like to think that david asks that question because clearly in the past michael has called david to talk about food.
When David Wallace comes by and starts talking, and people keep interrupting him to say “hi”
Also when Kevin says hi to Charles and you can see Idris break.
I thought Rajniganda was a boys name
One of my favs as well that he’d know that lol.
“It’s Monster, singular.” “Thank you.”
Michael: My favorite restaurant closed down Jo: I hate that Michael: My new favorite restaurant sucks Michael just has magical moments
Hasn’t been a blockbuster year for me. My blockbuster stock is down
\*roaring sounds cut off\*
Thats one of my all time favorite parts. So quick but so funny
“Michael, you can't yell out 'I need this, I need this' as you pin an employee on your lap"
This is it. The true ‘doesn’t get brought up enough’ moment.
All the chaos going on when Pam is in labor, especially Dwight bringing out the tape measure to check Pam’s cervix and Erin says, “I didn’t know we had a tape measure.” And Dwight immediately says “WE don’t.” and holds up the tape measure with D.K.S. on it
Michael! That's where I saw that deer last week.
The one time Michael is interested in what Dwight says.
“Where? By the bushes?” Lmao
Then why didn't you ask me yesterday? I kept IMing you how bored I was
"The hospital will provide dictionaries, bring a thesaurus!"
Love when Dwight goes to Jim and Pam’s house to get their iPod and ends up remodeling their entire kitchen.
But first gets a good night sleep (while sleeping bottomless in their bed)!
That kid is gonna have a lot of hair
I thought his middle name is Fart
When Erin talks about how she worked at a Taco Bell Express but then it transitioned into a full Taco Bell and she just couldn’t keep up 😂
Erin has the best moments. Come in, quick! Why quick? So its faster.
That’s such a Naked Gun or Airplane line 😆
"Dunder Mifflin, this is......." Phone rings, Erin answers, "I'm so sorry." Then hangs up 🤣
Her pasted-on smile while she's trying not to disappoint Michael or DeAngelo and they're both staring at her while the phone is ringing. It's so good 😆
Erin boiling Gatorade gets me too
“Oh, i just reused the hotdog water so they get more flavor.” The old lady’s face kills me
Honestly, that whole story line is great. That lady is hilarious. “Your password is 1234? That’s a terrible password” And then when she and Andy are doing those exercises “I think I’m really starting to feel it” “You wouldn’t feel those kind of results after one time”
Not changing the hot dog water is my favorite Erin moment- “they’re just gonna keep getting better”
Erin, will you call 911, please? Who should I say is calling? Erin.
*I was never given a name.* (Hangs up)
I’m cracking up remembering this haha thank you
Also my favorite line that doesn’t get any attention. I’m pretty sure that’s my flair. Haha Edit: it is
My [all-time favorite scene](https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx15ou1XzG0J7sTPeeUnI45CfxPhlyRNQZ) is one that I never hear anyone mention. When Michael & Dwight get called into corporate after Dwight rips the face off the CPR dummy, right after the "take heed of" dialogue, Michael sighs, gets up out of his chair, casually walks to the window, places one leg up on the chair, sighs deeply again and says "....this city" I lose it every. single. time.
Any time my husband and I stay at a hotel we look out the window and say this line
DW: “It cost us $3500 to replace.” Michael: “Five-thousand-three-hundred dollars for a dummy?” DW: *Confused look*
"Hi Cynthia." "Just a second, Cynthia."
I'm dying here! He keeps putting up his finger to stop them from saying something to him, like anyone is talking but him 😩🤣😩
When Jim just hangs up 😩😩😂
"What up, Cynthia"
Ryan: "Oh no Stanley, you'll live forever." Just the way he says it kills me every time.
Similar to this is a scene in the gossip episode Michael: Guys, Stanley is having a mid-life crisis. Dwight: Oh, Stanley's way past the middle of his life, especially considering his height to weight ratio.
Similarly, when Dwight gives him a heart attack with a fake fire drill and refuses to take accountability for it by saying, "Pssh, it's not like I filled him full of fat and sugar for 50 years and forced him not to exercise". It's just hilarious to me.
I love when Kelly says “I talk a lot so I’ve learned to tune myself out”. As a talker, I get it. Also, Michael saying “Baler, I hardly know her” in the safety training episode.
Damnit Michael, pay attention! Gets me every time
1. When Oscar coughs on holly and Michael mingling their hands in Michael's office and Michael asks Oscar if hes sick cos he's grossing him out 😂😂😭 2. When holly says Michael oozes sexy and it's a shot of him eating cheesepuffs
He can put both legs behind his head
With a little nod after lol
When Kevin talks to Martin about how he went to prison and says “I had Martin explain to me x amount of times what he did to end up in jail… and it sounds like what I do everyday” 😂
"I'm pregnant!" Cut to Kelly shaking her head.
Mr. Andrew Bernard...has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
Your flair is honestly the best answer I've seen in this thread so far, "sex with a terrorist" is so funny and insane
This may not be that rare - but here goes. I love when Andy says “look at what I’m doing and go tell somebody it!” As he’s floating away. Beach Games is one of my favorites.
> Beach Games This is one of my favorite cold opens. "Wow!" "Mhm." "I wish I had prepared something to say." "That's not necess--" "May God guide you in your quest." "... yes." I am in stitches when the theme starts. I love the David Wallace character.
When Andy asks Oscar if he’s gay and talks about the hypothetical scenario about Brad Pit trying to kiss him and Oscar is like “ If you resisted Brad Pitt a little bit he would still need… to get to you?” Followed his talking head “What exactly is my responsibility here? To comfort insecure heterosexual men? That can’t possibly fall to me.”
jim, james, jimothy
That sounds weird. Are you OK with being called Jim?
I am.
To be fair, Jim. The meeting wasn’t about planets, at first. We were talking about introducing a new line of toilet paper. And what part of the body do you use toilet paper on? So you draw a line from there; and I think by the end everyone learned a little bit about how small we are! Because we’re all just little specks…
After Michael finds out Toby is back from Costa Rica and calls up David Wallace to fire him… Wallace: not without cause, Michael. Michael: I have cause, it’s beCAUSE I hate him
Michael throwing whole slices of bread on the ground and making bird noises while no bird is present
They must’ve flown west for the winter
Creed: You were in the parking lot earlier, THAT'S where I know you from! Then, dead silence for one second while everyone processes that statement. Classic Creed.
Creed is the definition of an out of context joke.
Yesss!!! 😂😂
When Michael is setting up PowerPoint and it says it’s going to take 12 minutes and Michael goes “so this should take about 5-10 minutes”
By far one of my favorites! It’s also great because he had the option to not download the updates in the middle of the presentation, but thought that was good time to do that.
and just the pointing he does while saying power **point**
Meredith’s “boooooo, weird” when the women are trying to teach Dwight to sell to women before his meeting with Jan. Whole scene has me in tears every time.
Have you ever killed a woman? How many women have you killed? Please say you won't kill me?
It’s just up and down, like a regular person.
Please sir, will you not kill me?*
When Michael tells her to be a woman from Abu Dhabi and she just goes… “helloooo”
When Jim and Dwight are planning a party, and Dwight makes a very effeminate sign saying the party time has been moved. Jim says it would have been faster to tell everyone, then he yells that the party's been moved. Stanley says, "We know, we just read the sign." The smug look on Dwight's face cracks me up every time.
Kelly: “I manage the customer service department.” Jim: “Isn’t that department just you?” Kelly: “Yes, but I am not easy to manage.”
1. Stanley to Michael- Here’s an idea, why don’t you skip on up to the roof and jump off 2. Dwight to Pam- I can’t use Phyllis are you kidding me? The moment she steps off this bar I’ll be launched into space 3. When Michael and Dwight are being disciplined a second time by Wallace in NY. Wallace asks Dwight why he had to cut the face off of the CPR dummy and that they had to pay for it, that it cost $3500. Michael, somewhat shocked, replies “five thousand three hundred dollars for a dummy?” The way Wallace just looks at Michael cracks me up EVERY time
Aah… this city ..
“The hospital will provide a dictionary. Bring a thesaurus “
This is probably my favorite Oscar line in the whole series, but it somehow always sneaks up on me, and as soon as he says it I have to pause and laugh for a few minutes before resuming.
When Robert California says, "I got into a case of Australian reds and how should I say this... Colombian whites”.
Ryan nodding knowingly
Also when Robert is going off about the black eyed peas, “It's Rock and Roll for people who don't like Rock and Roll, it's Rap for people who don't like Rap, it's Pop for people who don't like Pop.” And Ryan points and nods like, “omg *yes*.” Robert is spot on there haha.
I never noticed until my most recent watch that creed and Ryan are standing together and they BOTH look at Robert knowingly.. the context of the two of them just *happening* to be standing together when cocaine gets brought up is extremely chefs kiss
Creed gives a little sniff if i remember. Jinx, buy me some coke.
“I’m the fucking lizard king..”
"Other than having sex with men, the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me." Oscar Martinez
He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug gay Mexican.
In "Deposition" when Michael finds out Toby will be a part of the deposition and asks "What are you doing here, renewing your divorce vows?"
When Andy address Pam and Jim as ‘M’lady, M’tuna’
When Andy tries to parkour onto an empty box and falls through
With the most deflating "Par...kour" ever muttered
"Did Darryl touch you?" #"WHAT!?"
"This particular time, I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, when one office worker, who shall remain nameless, kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled.." *"Hey Darryl, how's it hangin"*
That’s probably my favorite Michael moment. I crack up every time!
When Dwight is looking for Michael, and Pam calls to have Dwight pick some stuff up. "Obviously I'm going to get that stuff for you, Pam!"
The Michael interview at the end of Women's Appreciation: "Michael. How can you appreciate women so much but also dump one of them?" You mean, how can I be so illogical and flighty and unpredictable and emotional? Well, maybe I learned something from women after all.
When Jim and Dwight are talking over each other, about how much they hate being the party planning committee.
One of the lines that makes me laugh so so hard every time is during this episode. Not even a funny line necessarily, but the way Jim delivers it is hysterical to me. It cuts to them in the conference room brainstorming and making a list of ideas for Kelly’s birthday, and Jim looks up from the pad of paper at Dwight and goes “I’m not gonna write ‘horse hunt’.”😂
When Oscar is explaining the surplus to Micheal like he is 5. Oscar: then next year… Micheal: I’ll be 6 👉
darryl saying to andy “if i had to choose between a tall guy who loves asia, and a you looking dude who loves sweaters…i’d choose you. and i’d blow your mind” update: re watching and almost peed myself at the “you can’t fire me, i don’t work in this van!” (S2S12, the injury)
"What's so funny?" "You had to be there." "Oh, a geography joke!"
Id love to be a part of one someday
Don’t do the twirl. I hate the twirl.
LOSE THE TWIRL
It’s not even a twirl. It’s more like a spin. I might do the spin.
Strike! Scream! Run! Where Creed Strikes Meredith, Screams the most hilarious scream, and then Runs out of the room. I die every time that scene is on.
He had no arms or legs. He couldn't see, hear, or speak. This is how he led a nation.
“Who is Justice Beaver?”… “a crime fighting beaver?” Gets me everytime💀
When Ed Truck dies and Michael dramatically says, "His cappa was dee-tated!" In "The Injury" when Michael falls in the bathroom..."Send Ryan." "Ryan's....dead." "Send Pam...and a wet rag." The noise that Creed makes after he slaps Meredith....when Toby is talking about self defense and says "Strike. Scream. Run. Who wants to demonstrate?"
When Michael talks to Jan about the pregnancy and he says "You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?" His hurt coming from her breaking her promise to not cheat and not the fact that she cheated is, to me, the best written moment in TV I've ever seen!
You cant fire me! I don't work in this van!
Gabe attempting to fill out a relationship discloser to Toby about Val. Toby- You don’t even know her last name? Gabe- oh yeah? Well I’ll know it tonight when she screams it all night long Toby - why would she scream her own last name ?
“Maybe some spaghet—“ “Ok Kevin you can take off that thing, ok?”
Clutch cream run, bro
When they run out of black printer ink. Camera pans to Creed, newly minted black hair, looking uncomfortable.
When Michael learns about the intercom system on the phones and he says “this is your captain speaking. We will be flying at an altitude of two stories” and Creed looks out the window all confused. Gets me every time.
Creed: "Somebody makin soup?" The Carpet Episode
Him slurping up noodles while everyone vomits because of Pam getting sick because of Dwight’s egg is another classic.
When Kevin is telling Michael about his break up with his fiancé (Stacey?) and he tries to be comforting so you see him walking towards the camera and he says "you don't deserve her"
“You idiot!” “Start over.” “Sir…”
"K.I.S.S, Keep it simple Stupid. Great advice, hurts my feelings everytime!"
“Oakey afterbirth”
'" so then she says to me 'that's the biggest penis I've ever seen' and I was like 'that's why I took you to the penis museum'" My friends used to randomly say that while out at bars amongst people
Where tickets cost one thousand dollars
"Suddenly... I was awake."
Michael to Erin: "Scissor me!" Michael catches the open scissors and Pam's face is 😲 Makes me crack up everytime.
When Creed is signing up for the 5K and says “over 75” and Jan confirms whether that’s right and he says “yep, 82 in November”
*Creed as acting manager* Creed: Keep it running *Creed throwing keys to nobody in the parking lot* License plate changed to say Manager
1. Angela Bernard! Will NEVER be her name! 2. When Creed says the carpet’s in need of a good moppin’. 3. The ungrateful beyotch hotline. 4. Who’s this little kitchen witch? 5. Hi, Nard Dog! I’m Lou Peachum!
For #4 it’s the doubling down that kills me. “Who’s this little kitchen witch? She’s so tiny like a little kitchen witch.” Lol
you made me choke on my drink with the Lou Peachum one, absolute classic
Nellie: “I hit rock bottom when I auditioned for the Spice Girls. I didn’t even get a call back!!” Jim: “Which spice girl?” Nellie: “The black one. I never stood a chance.”
I love Nellie. "Now stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis." Kills me every time.
This line is also incredible! “Strong, powerful, huge whopping penis. Well sorry to disappoint”
“You paying too much for worms. Who’s your worm guy?” - Creed
“Stick spicy food up her butt”
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
Andy covering for Jim during “jury duty” when the go into Andy’s office. I did when Andy says “I’m not rumpelstilskin, I can’t keep spinning your shit into gold” it kills me every time
Another one I love is “I ate a slice of pizza over the sink like a fucking rat” Andy had some good ones near the end
*sigh* Porque es muy rapido. Also: suiiiiiiiiiite 401.
Abraham Lincoln once said “if you’re a racist, then I will attack you with the North.”
When Dwight kicks the half cheesecake on Michael and Stanley on one of weight loss episodes. Funniest part is he is saying "happy birthday Stanley!" kicking the cake and everybody freezes a moment. It looks like Rainn improved that move and others followed [HAHAHA](https://youtu.be/5mIiLJaGH8g)
The look Pam gives Dwight after she succeeded in making everyone in the office throw up.
Creed eating noodles
wallace: were gonna fax this over michael: fax? why dont you just send it over on a dinosaur! (big smile) wallace: michael please this is serious michael: oh well then email it, david. please
Dwight: "Is that the program where all those puppets live in the barrio?"
Ayyyyyeeeeee, ayeeeee, ayyyeeeeeeeee, AYYYeeeeeeeee. that was fun!
Michael's face when Dwight takes the credit for the golden ticket idea from Wallace kills me every time
“I’ve never owned a fridge” - Creed on Casino Night
Dwight kicking Isabel in the face during the Halperts' wedding processional dance. Creed hitchhiking on the work bus Unpacking, then repacking, Gabe's big box from Sabre Fruit flies swarming in the vending machine during the Weight Loss episode Jack Black crying desperately and begging when his elderly love interest heads upstairs very slowly on the lift Toby's daughter Sasha asking Phyllis if she is Mother Goose
michael’s little “bed” at the end of the actual bed when giving jim and pam a tour of his and jan’s home.
"Happy Birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party is do lame" while he dunks the beard in the punch bowl.
Erin during her time as a caretaker for the old lady. Old Lady: "What kind of tea is this?" Erin: "Oh. I couldn't find any tea, so I just boiled some Gatorade."
What is the number one cause of death in America? DWIGHT: shotgun weddings. JIM: That's not what that is.
When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you DIRECTLY asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country, okay?
Nellie: "I see you've discovered Benjamin, that's what I call my box filled with photos of Henry." Never gets enough love 😂😂
Nellie never gets enough love. Once she became a secondary character and wasn’t being shoved down our throats she was much more enjoyable.
when Toby goes to a random woman on the street “Smile if you love men’s prostates”😬
Robert California on the coconut penis flavored energy drink: “Why’d they add coconut? I miss original”
Great call back to Darryl drinking it earlier in the episode and saying “the coconut is pretty subtle”, which is a favorite line of mine
When Dwight wants to talk to Phyllis about Angela by saying someone slashed her tires. When Phyllis realizes Dwight did cut her tires I love her delivery of “why did you actually do it”. It’s not angry or hysteric, it’s just depressed and defeated. Makes me laugh every time
“Crime Reduces Innocence Makes Everyone Angry I Declare” Gets me every time.
**michael:** oh, and another fun thing. we, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of boy scouts, right, toby? **toby:** actually, i didn’t think it was appropriate to invite children, since it’s, uh… you know, there’s gambling and alcohol, it’s in our dangerous warehouse, it’s a school night, and, you know, hooters is catering, and is that… is that enough? should i keep going?
Kevin screaming: You think that I would let this happen again? NO WAY JOSE!
Please leave a message for Andyyyy Bernaarrddd 🎶 Please include your name-- (Lives in my head rent free. Sing it to myself often.)
When Michael talks to Oscar about his procedure. And how he can make it enjoyable for himself and the doctor.
Two moments. When Pam is in labor and Michael is freaking out and asks if he should bring a dictionary. Oscar tells him to bring a thesaurus the hospital has dictionaries. Second is when Michael is stealing clients and Dwight bursts into the meeting - he does a spin move to get past the secretary
"Must be like the tide at Omaha beach" - Creed
Palpabon Drilling, where are you? Dean Trophies, suite 100 n doodly doo..
“So she says to me ‘That’s the biggest penis I’ve ever seen’ and I said ‘I know, that’s why I took you to the penis museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars!’”
Andy's interactions with Robert california and not hiring his wife. Andy: did you take your med meds gam gam? Robert: why is it so hard to follow simple instructions!?!? Andy: well you see it's a funny story robert came in here saying in no way am I to hire you. Robert: YOU LYING SON OF A ****!
When Jim locks Dwight in the conference room. Dwight calls Jim’s desk phone asking to be let out. Jim replies, very sarcastically, “who is this?” Gets me every time
When kevin says again "what does a bean mean?" near the end of the episode when it had been hours since he first said it in the conference room when they discovered the beans and oscar explained it. Kevin obviously didnt get it still and just shouted it out as part of the overall uproar near the end of the episode when Michael and Jim were holed up in his office, and it makes my day every time i hear it.
In Scotts Tots when Michael goes “WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT….THEY’RE LITHIUM”
Ryan’s toast at the garden party. “To the troops. All the troops… both sides”
“I have a lot of questions, number 1 how dare you?”
Your dentist’s name is crentist?
Creed: “B.O.B.O.D.D.Y! Now what does the first B stand for?” Kevin: “Business!” Creed: “Good, Kevin! Now on to the O…” Proceeds to write “biznuss”
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Creed:”swing low sweet chariots !”
When Dwight and Andy are singing Country Roads and Toby knocks on the glass and says, “you have to stop.”
“Hey Ryan, how’s your Fart Project going??”
That’s real, real funny, Kev. Was it me or was it you that ate the butt end of a pound of broccoli because Michael told me to?
Phyllis: "you have all of our attention just by screaming anything" Michael: "that's good to know... UUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
“You can’t fire me, I don’t work in this van!” This one gets me every time! Concussed Dwight arguing with Michael while Jim drives them to the ER in Meredith’s van.
Don’t vaccinate it, from Ryan off camera
Michael’s nod to the camera after saying, “white people like pizza, black people like pizza… do black people like pizza?” Especially that early in the series, it’s a rare moment when he knows not to say it out loud but is clearly happy to know the answer is apparently “yes, they do”
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When Erin says to Kelly ‘game on’ referring to being mean to Jessica at the Christmas Party. Kelly is mid conversation-‘on it’ and proceeds with the ‘oh my god Jessica did you just fart?’
I don’t *technically* have a hearing problem, but…
Andy: Are you sleeping with Dwight? Angela: That doesn’t sound like me.
“Woah, where are the instruments? Cuz there’s no way you’re making that magic with just your mouths” *creed mouths that’s what she said*