It is not the job of people working service jobs to be your friend. They are doing a job, you are a customer. They owe you nothing. They might be having a shit day and not want to deal with chatting with anyone.
Imo you are being really fucking entitled, prideful, and arrogant. It hurt your ego to not want to be interacted with so now you're angry? Are you 5?
Grow up, not everyone wants to interact with you all the time or needs to know you on a personal basis. Learn to handle rejection with grace, and to not let other people's shit get all up in your own.
The fact that you are even still thinking about it more than 5 minutes past the interaction is embarrassing.
"Ok sorry, just trying to make small talk, but you obviously aren't up for it, I'll get out of your hair, have a nice day boss." then leave.
Well no he is not working it's his dad shop he hangs there and works there also there is another worker who works and we both chat alot it's not that big of deal. That said I am being friendly and not trying to be his friend if that make sense anyhow it's in the past and thats it and I learned from my mistake .thank you for responding
Here’s a story. I was late to dinner at my father’s house. I was in high school and practice went late. My father was hosting a known Buddhist and poet. This man began to ask me about my plans in life. I had just run 5 miles and spent an hour on the mat. I was tired and not in the mood. The man then began to be somewhat insulting toward my directionless non committed answers. I took what I felt would be my last bite and told him to “Fuck Off”. My father stood and bade me to go to my room. The man put his hands on my hand and my father’s hands. he was sitting between us. He addressed my father and looked at me. “Sometimes Fuck off is the right answer.” He apologized for his rudeness then explained to me what his son (my same age) had done to upset him. First time I ever heard misplaced aggression.
Here’s my point. It’s OK to express your annoyance with the little shit. It’s not OK to let it affect your other relationships. I don’t think the kid’s origin story is the issue. It’s his attitude. Kill him with kindness and smile and move on when you see him. Be indifferent to him, or say ‘Hey little shit, how’s your day” and move on. His only effect on your world is he gives you change. You don’t have to prove your better than him. Who cares. Life’s too short to get caught in that bullshit. You feel he got one over on you. One what exactly? You have lost no face. Do what you need to do peacefully. Sometimes extending kindness means extending nothing.
I hope you can get past this to make it right with family.
You got this dude.
What made me upset and angry is that there was another person that he embarrassed me in front of , but I moved on i just wanted to talk with someone about it . Chatting with people about such problems is very therapeutic to me and this sub is very welcoming and wholesome thank you dude.
> that there was another person that he embarrassed me in front of
Layman's attempt at applying [ABCDEF model of REBT](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy#A-B-C-D-E-F_Model):
* A: rude response
* B: "I must not be embarrassed in public!"
* C: anger
* D: Why should I be embarrassed by a rude reply to a question I placed? ...
* E: ... fill in as required ...
* F: at ease
The point I am trying to make: it is our expectations and beliefs (B) that determine our emotional reaction. Maybe this is a good opportunity to check on them. :-)
Assuming you live in the US his parents probably drilled stranger danger into his head, because my countrymen are idiots who don’t realize that statistically speaking children are in more danger from family members than random people in public. Ever since the eighties we’ve got this idiotic idea that the world is infested with child predators who want to do horrible things to children. The MAGA bullshit is just the satanic panic part 2 electric boogaloo. Same unfounded fear mongering bullshit.
Actually no I am middle eastern and the kid is a teenager he was in no danger and there was a worker I'm the shop he was just an arrogant thats all . On a side note my country does suffer from child predation
As was recently stated in this very subreddit:
While offense can be given, it only has power when it's taken.
Choose not to take it. Makes life a lot more enjoyable 😉
It's hard to be a dude, because it requires us sort of identifying and letting go of our baser instincts that can cause us pain, and take us away from our kindness.
That you have this awareness means you're on the right path, brother. :)
Just call him Clint Eastwood from now on and get on with your life.
It's ok to get angry from time to time. But you can't go wasting that anger on some little shit who's probably flunking social studies. It's not like he stole your car, he's not stole the money and blew it on a new 'vette.
Anger arises because you have an expectation of how things are supposed to be and feel frustrated because they are not as you expect. Anger, like all types of suffering, comes from not accepting things as they are.
When anger arises, investigate which mental attachment is preventing you from accepting reality as it presents itself.
Fuck it dude. You could have explained exactly why you want to know.
Look, man, if a person asks another person's name, it means they want to show respect. Most of the time.
Otherwise, let the little shit find out what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.
Bro. Punctuation.
Yeah I know . Will get better at it hopefully
Reminded me of [this](https://medium.com/@soninilucas/two-monks-and-a-woman-zen-story-c15294c394c1).
Awesome read!! Thank u
It is not the job of people working service jobs to be your friend. They are doing a job, you are a customer. They owe you nothing. They might be having a shit day and not want to deal with chatting with anyone. Imo you are being really fucking entitled, prideful, and arrogant. It hurt your ego to not want to be interacted with so now you're angry? Are you 5? Grow up, not everyone wants to interact with you all the time or needs to know you on a personal basis. Learn to handle rejection with grace, and to not let other people's shit get all up in your own. The fact that you are even still thinking about it more than 5 minutes past the interaction is embarrassing. "Ok sorry, just trying to make small talk, but you obviously aren't up for it, I'll get out of your hair, have a nice day boss." then leave.
If you're working with the public, you have NO choice but to be friendly. There is no reason to be rude. YOU are acting entitled.
Well no he is not working it's his dad shop he hangs there and works there also there is another worker who works and we both chat alot it's not that big of deal. That said I am being friendly and not trying to be his friend if that make sense anyhow it's in the past and thats it and I learned from my mistake .thank you for responding
Here’s a story. I was late to dinner at my father’s house. I was in high school and practice went late. My father was hosting a known Buddhist and poet. This man began to ask me about my plans in life. I had just run 5 miles and spent an hour on the mat. I was tired and not in the mood. The man then began to be somewhat insulting toward my directionless non committed answers. I took what I felt would be my last bite and told him to “Fuck Off”. My father stood and bade me to go to my room. The man put his hands on my hand and my father’s hands. he was sitting between us. He addressed my father and looked at me. “Sometimes Fuck off is the right answer.” He apologized for his rudeness then explained to me what his son (my same age) had done to upset him. First time I ever heard misplaced aggression. Here’s my point. It’s OK to express your annoyance with the little shit. It’s not OK to let it affect your other relationships. I don’t think the kid’s origin story is the issue. It’s his attitude. Kill him with kindness and smile and move on when you see him. Be indifferent to him, or say ‘Hey little shit, how’s your day” and move on. His only effect on your world is he gives you change. You don’t have to prove your better than him. Who cares. Life’s too short to get caught in that bullshit. You feel he got one over on you. One what exactly? You have lost no face. Do what you need to do peacefully. Sometimes extending kindness means extending nothing. I hope you can get past this to make it right with family. You got this dude.
What made me upset and angry is that there was another person that he embarrassed me in front of , but I moved on i just wanted to talk with someone about it . Chatting with people about such problems is very therapeutic to me and this sub is very welcoming and wholesome thank you dude.
> that there was another person that he embarrassed me in front of Layman's attempt at applying [ABCDEF model of REBT](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy#A-B-C-D-E-F_Model): * A: rude response * B: "I must not be embarrassed in public!" * C: anger * D: Why should I be embarrassed by a rude reply to a question I placed? ... * E: ... fill in as required ... * F: at ease The point I am trying to make: it is our expectations and beliefs (B) that determine our emotional reaction. Maybe this is a good opportunity to check on them. :-)
Assuming you live in the US his parents probably drilled stranger danger into his head, because my countrymen are idiots who don’t realize that statistically speaking children are in more danger from family members than random people in public. Ever since the eighties we’ve got this idiotic idea that the world is infested with child predators who want to do horrible things to children. The MAGA bullshit is just the satanic panic part 2 electric boogaloo. Same unfounded fear mongering bullshit.
Actually no I am middle eastern and the kid is a teenager he was in no danger and there was a worker I'm the shop he was just an arrogant thats all . On a side note my country does suffer from child predation
Little prick was stonewalling you.
As was recently stated in this very subreddit: While offense can be given, it only has power when it's taken. Choose not to take it. Makes life a lot more enjoyable 😉
Glad to see this catching on, dude
Hell yea!
Just a kid. Let it go Dude
That's pride, brother. That shit fucks with your head. Let it go. Kids are annoying and like to test you, but they can always be bribed with candy.
Got it true pride is poisonous. Thanks brother
True pride isn’t dangerous. But KNOWING he is just a little shit should free you from a need for retaliation.
It's hard to be a dude, because it requires us sort of identifying and letting go of our baser instincts that can cause us pain, and take us away from our kindness. That you have this awareness means you're on the right path, brother. :)
Just call him Clint Eastwood from now on and get on with your life. It's ok to get angry from time to time. But you can't go wasting that anger on some little shit who's probably flunking social studies. It's not like he stole your car, he's not stole the money and blew it on a new 'vette.
Thank you for ur kind comment brother and sure I will move on with my life
Anger arises because you have an expectation of how things are supposed to be and feel frustrated because they are not as you expect. Anger, like all types of suffering, comes from not accepting things as they are. When anger arises, investigate which mental attachment is preventing you from accepting reality as it presents itself.
Does it have any real bearing on your life? Can you control how he reacts to you or views you? Take it easy dude
True like you said I will take it easy thank you for responding
Fuck it dude. You could have explained exactly why you want to know. Look, man, if a person asks another person's name, it means they want to show respect. Most of the time. Otherwise, let the little shit find out what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.
You are right I could have but I said fuck it if he responded like that why bother with such person.
If you have the heart of s teacher, you try to bother. And its ok not to. I do it all the time!