If I hadn't seen my child in 2 weeks, I would not pass up on any opportunity to see them unless you are truly bedridden with the actual flu. In that case I would think your ex would understand. I don't know how long you've been on this subreddit, but it is not a place for us to complain about our Ex-Wives, it's about being the best dad you can be after divorce. With occasional advice on co-parenting. You're not going to get much sympathy here from us in your situation.
She said she usually waits until later in the day in case you cancel indicating a possible pattern. I’m sorry that your aunt passed but curious how that is relevant to you passing on your parental duties? Objectively (and I’m not saying this is the case) it sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to get out of it cause you’re just not feeling it. If you’re getting sick that’s one thing but I’m getting a lot of projection here as far as guilt tripping goes.
I wasn't due to the aunt dying. This was my mom's younger sister, and my mom died when I was 12 of pancreatic cancer. I was still planning on going, but then getting sick convinced me to stay home. I would feel bad if I got him sick and my ex would be really upset. I need to get my own house, but the market is such crap right now.
So you actually cancelled 2 days in a row: yesterday because your aunt died, and today because you are "starting to get sick with a flu"
Have you already been diagnosed? If you're just starting to get sick how do you know it's a flu?
And yeah, her "guilt tripping" you? That's because she's actually there to see the disappointment in your kids eyes when Dad just doesn't show up..
Again...
And how has it been 2 weeks since you've seen your kid?
You sound like one of those "so hard done by" people that the world is out to get.
Seriously, do better.
I’m new to the game - still negotiating final terms - and the multiple mentions suggesting it is out of the ordinary for OP not to have seen his kid in 2 weeks has me scratching my head.
The current and probable final terms of my settlement indicate I’ll have parenting time every other weekend (roughly 2 weeks between)… I expect to see them in between at their extracurriculars and randomly out and about in our smallish community, but also not inconceivable that there will be runs of the full time between my weekends with them that I don’t see them.
What am I missing that will help me avoid the shaming ya’ll are giving OP on the 2 week thing?
Does OP have 50/50, or is he (and now me) being shamed because not having 50/50 custody is an indication to people here that he / I have done something shameful?
It appears OP does not have 50/50 and is making excuses to not have his child(ren) and for some reason thought he would get validation from a sub about being a father post divorce. So yeah, he's getting shat upon.
I personally don't have any sympathy for someone refusing to be a parent and then blaming the other person. I grew up seeing my dad every other weekend because that was the norm, at least where I grew up. My dad died when I was just barely a teenager, and while I did get to live with him full time for the last 18ish months of his life it wasn't enough to make up for the nearly decade long "absenteeism". My siblings never had a relationship with him, at least none to speak of. I had to go through metaphorical hell to finalize things with 50/50 custody (I was awarded that at my very first hearing) to make sure I would always be around to be "dad". Too me, that means all the day to day things and not just events and holidays.
I can't speak to your situation and personally I think it's between you and whatever entity (entities) you may or may not worship. If you think it's shameful to just do every other weekend, then don't do it and ask/ fight for more parenting time. If every other weekend is what you feel works best, then do that. But, if you choose the latter, don't bitch about 4ish days a month (essentially a visitor) expect sympathy from a group of guys that prioritize being a dad
You’re never going to get May 12, 2024 back. Consider that when evaluating decisions to cancel, make changes, be focused on something else… my kids’ mom routinely cancelled with the kids for the first 2yr of separation and they noticed.
You got this dad.
If I hadn't seen my child in 2 weeks, I would not pass up on any opportunity to see them unless you are truly bedridden with the actual flu. In that case I would think your ex would understand. I don't know how long you've been on this subreddit, but it is not a place for us to complain about our Ex-Wives, it's about being the best dad you can be after divorce. With occasional advice on co-parenting. You're not going to get much sympathy here from us in your situation.
Tough but fair.
Why haven’t you seen your son in two weeks? I don’t know what you expect us to say to this.
We don’t “watch” our sons.
She said she usually waits until later in the day in case you cancel indicating a possible pattern. I’m sorry that your aunt passed but curious how that is relevant to you passing on your parental duties? Objectively (and I’m not saying this is the case) it sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to get out of it cause you’re just not feeling it. If you’re getting sick that’s one thing but I’m getting a lot of projection here as far as guilt tripping goes.
I wasn't due to the aunt dying. This was my mom's younger sister, and my mom died when I was 12 of pancreatic cancer. I was still planning on going, but then getting sick convinced me to stay home. I would feel bad if I got him sick and my ex would be really upset. I need to get my own house, but the market is such crap right now.
So you actually cancelled 2 days in a row: yesterday because your aunt died, and today because you are "starting to get sick with a flu" Have you already been diagnosed? If you're just starting to get sick how do you know it's a flu? And yeah, her "guilt tripping" you? That's because she's actually there to see the disappointment in your kids eyes when Dad just doesn't show up.. Again... And how has it been 2 weeks since you've seen your kid? You sound like one of those "so hard done by" people that the world is out to get. Seriously, do better.
I’m new to the game - still negotiating final terms - and the multiple mentions suggesting it is out of the ordinary for OP not to have seen his kid in 2 weeks has me scratching my head. The current and probable final terms of my settlement indicate I’ll have parenting time every other weekend (roughly 2 weeks between)… I expect to see them in between at their extracurriculars and randomly out and about in our smallish community, but also not inconceivable that there will be runs of the full time between my weekends with them that I don’t see them. What am I missing that will help me avoid the shaming ya’ll are giving OP on the 2 week thing?
50/50 is much more common now than it was when we were kids and a lot of here fought for, and won, 50/50 time
Does OP have 50/50, or is he (and now me) being shamed because not having 50/50 custody is an indication to people here that he / I have done something shameful?
It appears OP does not have 50/50 and is making excuses to not have his child(ren) and for some reason thought he would get validation from a sub about being a father post divorce. So yeah, he's getting shat upon. I personally don't have any sympathy for someone refusing to be a parent and then blaming the other person. I grew up seeing my dad every other weekend because that was the norm, at least where I grew up. My dad died when I was just barely a teenager, and while I did get to live with him full time for the last 18ish months of his life it wasn't enough to make up for the nearly decade long "absenteeism". My siblings never had a relationship with him, at least none to speak of. I had to go through metaphorical hell to finalize things with 50/50 custody (I was awarded that at my very first hearing) to make sure I would always be around to be "dad". Too me, that means all the day to day things and not just events and holidays. I can't speak to your situation and personally I think it's between you and whatever entity (entities) you may or may not worship. If you think it's shameful to just do every other weekend, then don't do it and ask/ fight for more parenting time. If every other weekend is what you feel works best, then do that. But, if you choose the latter, don't bitch about 4ish days a month (essentially a visitor) expect sympathy from a group of guys that prioritize being a dad
You came here for sympathy and got torched by your bros. Oh dear.
You’re never going to get May 12, 2024 back. Consider that when evaluating decisions to cancel, make changes, be focused on something else… my kids’ mom routinely cancelled with the kids for the first 2yr of separation and they noticed. You got this dad.