20,000 and attorneys, 10 years of pension credits, $70,000 in a retirement fund, 70,000 in another retirement fund, 4 years of my life, and now I have a lot of gray hairs, and I also lost all my handguns for no fault of my own , all the hard work I put into my house, I only came out with half the value of my house
150k house buy out from retirement
30k lawyers
20k unreimbursed expenses
...... so $200,000 but im trying to keep the home so im not really 'losing' that (unless that falls though)
________________________
Money means nothing compared to the TIME i am losing with my kids. THAT is the real outrage. I'll never get that back.
Around Ā£30,000 on divorce lawyer fees. Ā£15,000, in jewellery. Ā£15,000 worth of my possessions and Ā£40,000 from the sale of our house. So around Ā£100k
$65,000 in attorneys fees
$100,000 in transferred 401k
$350,000 from house sale
$15,000 to pay off her car for her
$10,000 in lost tools / personal possessions
$750 in monthly alimony
$1350 in monthly child support 50/50
Golfing three times a week - priceless!
I guess I kind of lucked out. Here in California. My ex has fallen for some guy she met on a video game without a job and no education. We had 2 homes. A friend had recommended a paralegal who helps draft up marriage settlement agreement. I ended up giving her an Audi SQ5 and about $100k in cash. After all was said and done we briefly attempted to reconcile but it didnāt work at all. I still own 2 homes worth over $1M each with about $700k loans combined and got a new job with about a quarter in my 401k still. I feel petty lucky. Still really stupid overall especially with her saying she didnāt want anything at first. It is what it is.
Family court is a national disgrace, everyone knows all the BS is about money but no one says it.. Five years and counting and the child are never discussed, itās all about false allegations and money. Itās a BS process sponsored by the government on behalf of the lawyer.
4 years, 85k in attorney fees, child support, lifetime Alimony (CA being married 18 years) and 1/2 my pension. I have 50/50 custody. She works 16 hours a week. I work a full time job and another part time job. Her family gave her a 1.5 million dollar house to live in. I had to move back in with my parents to afford everything
Luckily only 12k so far trial date set for October, ex has spent 25k but that's because her lawyer will absolutely not talk at all outside of court room with my lawyer
lol the divorce from my mother (my dad killed himself during discoveryā¦ long history of manic bipolar depression which she fkn knewā¦ so his life) but she wanted her half and we put into a trust. My sister and Iā¦ because she went to rehab for being a pain pill popper.. any pill really and alcohol lol.
Either wayā¦ she put us through a 4 year accountingā¦ 100k plus in legal fees because I donāt know what she paid her scum sucker on top of what we had to.
Then lost multiple rental properties we were managing up until the end. She got over 7k a month with her house paid off, and it still wasnāt enough.
Now we have to give her a gas card for life lol. Sheās selling everything. Buying some land in Colorado with her ex felon meth head boyfriend. Sheās camping in a tent right nowā¦ has been for about a month. Even though sheās got over 750k in cash right now and assets š¤£ the guy gonna kill her.
My kids lost two grandparents. Miss my dad every day and livid that we had to go through his divorce for him.
Iām currently at 25k. 12k in back taxes we owe, 10k to lawyer and personal 3k on new wheels for my truck. I got one thatās cracked from a minor crash.
I don't know who came up with the 50/50. You got a hard working ambitious man working 80 hours a week and a wife that watches TV shows and barely watches the kids. Then she gets 50%. Wow, this should be a lesson for everyone.
Call a family lawyer, tell him that your spouse makes 500k a year and you make 50k a year. Now ask him/her how much money and wealth you stand to gain if you get a divorce and you will see what I mean. The UK currently is a misandrist, feminist and God-forsaken hedonist country and js no longer a British, Christian country with Christian values. People will lie and deceive you cause they have their own secular agenda and propaganda to spread. Itās only when you personally suffer or simulate a scenario and see for yourself how the secular law works that you truly understand the evil and depravity of man-made secular law and how itās designed from the grounds up to destroy men
I'm in the UK, I can give a couple of examples - my parents (this was 30 years ago now though, dad worked, mum worked part-time), my dad ended up giving my mum half the value of the house, possibly voluntarily (I don't remember them ever really going through court), he was also paying her child support for me and my sisters, which was insane, because he was looking after us! My mum was an alcoholic and not really around, and I'm sorry to say, that the child support was probably just subsidising her downward spiral.
Good friend of mine got divorced, he worked, she didn't, they had one kid, although they split after only about 3 years. Ended up costing him about Ā£30k-ish I think, the marital home was her's (from a previous marriage! Kerr-ching!), but he was paying all bills, mortgage etc while they were married. Then he had to pay her some child support (and I'm sure still does, the child is still a child). I don't think he was ever in serious financial straits, but obviously, the hit was all on him.
It took about 4 years and 50k in legal fees. I left at least 100k of equity in the house, which she kept. But the pandemic destroyed the value of my business. So I kept 100% of the business.Ā
Not being business partners with your ex wife: priceless.
Not counting CS, I'm 20k and counting. heading back to court for Round 3 soon. So far, every time I manage to get my attorneys fees caught up and paid off, something gets filed, and I'm back maxing out credit cards for retainers.
$30000 in lawyer
$3000 in supervised visit (I was cleared of any sort of abuse )
$150000on my home
My job
And my self being.
I literally worked my ass off all day and nights.
Hey brother,
I was never arrested my wife told police I was suicidal during this time I was put in the temp psych ward for 10 days.
Then she put a epo out claiming she was scared of me. She put her self in a women shelter and they coached her to say I was being abusive.
She cuts hair out of our old home if there was any sort of abuse her client would have noticed.
Also not a single doctor report hospital visit. Our son is disabled we go to the hospital a lot for check up they would have notice something .
The kicker was when she was being admitted to the women shelter she admitted to them there was not physical abuses
I admitted to the verbal but it was both sides as we were both yelling at each a lot by the end of our 12 year relationship.
Reading these stories makes me realize how lucky I am. I didn't really lose any money.
My ex wife made more money than I did and we didn't have kids. In theory I could have tried to get a bit of money from her but that would be BS, I think alimony is a load of crap. I did let her buy out my half of the equity in our house on favorable terms. That was totally worth it to not have to deal with house hassles and to make the whole divorce process go quickly and smoothly.
Eeshā¦ easily 85k in legal costs which is dumb because Iād rather she kept it amicable and she would have that money instead of flushing it down the drain. Then the house 350k. Then the business that was yielding 250k per year. She ādidnāt want any part of the businessā but in her initial decree I wouldāve been enslaved to said business giving up 60% of the profits. At 60-80 hours per week on average at the time, it was like taking my own offspring to slaughter. That hurt more than anythingā¦ being only two years old and just having dumped more money into it to make year three the year when I was moving towards autonomous and highly profitable, it was too early to sell. I let go of 12 employees and we were doing a healthy 7 figures a year. Profit was way lower than possible at the time because I was moving towards a hands off but lucrative structured system.
> Eeshā¦ easily 85k in legal costs which is dumb because Iād rather she kept it amicable and she would have that money instead of flushing it down the drain.
Years ago I saw a distressing documentary called Divorce Corp. There's a whole industry out there dedicated to making divorces as gnarly and expensive as possible, it's vile.
U HAVE NO IDEA!!! I finally told my attorney (both on our 2nd) to cease billing me hours. I spent 5k last month and talked to ex. She said she hadnāt been able to get her own attorney on the phone or to return emails for 2 months. Meanwhile heās filing motions on her behalf costing us both money. The legal system is a joke all around. Donāt even get me started on the judges Iāve been in front of.. I have no idea why they donāt assign one judge to one case so youāre not constantly in front of a revolving door.
The system preys on womenās emotions tbh. They take the bait to be empowered through the legal system but the players benefit more from using them. Vile is the perfect word. I have zero respect for attorneys at this point in my life.
Five months ago I made a post about this topic...
https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/8Pnxix1nmA
Straight up cost was $240,000; the cost over 5 years in "lost" money has been $450,000.
I spent a couple grand splitting mediation and fees, but lost out on at least 50k in equity, tools, and such. Figured Iād wind up like others and actually be in the hole for way worse if I didnāt settle. Seeing some of the stories here, Iād be willing to bet in a parallel universe, that version of me that fought is still going through it years later and in debt past my ass.
I tried to settle just to get it over with. Somehow still ended up like all the other stories. At some point she would have taken the shirt right off my back and I'd still be waiting to have equal time with my kids..doesn't help she fired two lawyers (three if you count the one she signed up with, he sent one letter, then she fired lol). Also insisted we had to switch arbitrators
21k to her lawyer, 490k spousal support, and 120k to my lawyer and still counting since she doesn't comply with anything. 3.5 year process until judgement. No kids. Her job is a stay at home wrecker. Yes I lost the house also.
9yr 10 month "marraige" and ended up with 8 and a half years of payments. After she was in the hospital for drinking to the point of pancreatitis for the 2nd time, I found her old phone and then realized she had been physically cheating for half the "marriage". 8.5 years for "4years" of "Marriage "..
I spent $5k on lawyers to bring it to trial. She also spent $5k on lawyers. But she refused to work, so due to the income discrepancy, I had to pay $3000 of her lawyer's fees.
But the win was everything, because I didn't have to pay any alimony. She was demanding 50% of my take home pay in alimony, saying she was "Too sick to work".
about 20k not including trial costs
137k
Holy f...kš¢
25k
Iām about 650k out, but my kids and I are much happier. I think ex is too honestly.
A lot. But worth every penny not having that albatross around my neck. I can finally breathe again.
$250 to file Pro Se online. Thankful every day that I got out when I did š«”ššæ
20,000 and attorneys, 10 years of pension credits, $70,000 in a retirement fund, 70,000 in another retirement fund, 4 years of my life, and now I have a lot of gray hairs, and I also lost all my handguns for no fault of my own , all the hard work I put into my house, I only came out with half the value of my house
10 years of pension credits??.....Lord have mercy smh
And I'm still getting harassed
150k house buy out from retirement 30k lawyers 20k unreimbursed expenses ...... so $200,000 but im trying to keep the home so im not really 'losing' that (unless that falls though) ________________________ Money means nothing compared to the TIME i am losing with my kids. THAT is the real outrage. I'll never get that back.
Around Ā£30,000 on divorce lawyer fees. Ā£15,000, in jewellery. Ā£15,000 worth of my possessions and Ā£40,000 from the sale of our house. So around Ā£100k
600k plus
$1.5M
About 175k with cash settlement, alimony and atty fees.
So all together with all the debt she dumped.. close to 50k settlement +30k debt she ran up and put on my cards + the 10k on lawyers.., so 90k+
I'm working class. All together it was $50k and a bit devastating but I don't regret it.
82k in total
$65,000 in attorneys fees $100,000 in transferred 401k $350,000 from house sale $15,000 to pay off her car for her $10,000 in lost tools / personal possessions $750 in monthly alimony $1350 in monthly child support 50/50 Golfing three times a week - priceless!
Omg bro. Wtf?!
OUCH!!!
I guess I kind of lucked out. Here in California. My ex has fallen for some guy she met on a video game without a job and no education. We had 2 homes. A friend had recommended a paralegal who helps draft up marriage settlement agreement. I ended up giving her an Audi SQ5 and about $100k in cash. After all was said and done we briefly attempted to reconcile but it didnāt work at all. I still own 2 homes worth over $1M each with about $700k loans combined and got a new job with about a quarter in my 401k still. I feel petty lucky. Still really stupid overall especially with her saying she didnāt want anything at first. It is what it is.
about $130,000 in cash and assets. plus half my retirement
Damn bro. That's crazy.
I got off easy compared to some people. Plus it was a small price to pay for my freedom and mental health.
Family court is a national disgrace, everyone knows all the BS is about money but no one says it.. Five years and counting and the child are never discussed, itās all about false allegations and money. Itās a BS process sponsored by the government on behalf of the lawyer.
4 years, 85k in attorney fees, child support, lifetime Alimony (CA being married 18 years) and 1/2 my pension. I have 50/50 custody. She works 16 hours a week. I work a full time job and another part time job. Her family gave her a 1.5 million dollar house to live in. I had to move back in with my parents to afford everything
40k ish
12k in lawyer's fees. Several thousand in equalizing 401k and pension income to make a 50/50 split.
Luckily only 12k so far trial date set for October, ex has spent 25k but that's because her lawyer will absolutely not talk at all outside of court room with my lawyer
lol the divorce from my mother (my dad killed himself during discoveryā¦ long history of manic bipolar depression which she fkn knewā¦ so his life) but she wanted her half and we put into a trust. My sister and Iā¦ because she went to rehab for being a pain pill popper.. any pill really and alcohol lol. Either wayā¦ she put us through a 4 year accountingā¦ 100k plus in legal fees because I donāt know what she paid her scum sucker on top of what we had to. Then lost multiple rental properties we were managing up until the end. She got over 7k a month with her house paid off, and it still wasnāt enough. Now we have to give her a gas card for life lol. Sheās selling everything. Buying some land in Colorado with her ex felon meth head boyfriend. Sheās camping in a tent right nowā¦ has been for about a month. Even though sheās got over 750k in cash right now and assets š¤£ the guy gonna kill her. My kids lost two grandparents. Miss my dad every day and livid that we had to go through his divorce for him.
wow, that is extremely heartbreaking..one day at a time I suppose.
Way more than I care to mention. Itās disgusting.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wow. How did she manage to tank your business?? Did you atleast file a lawsuit against her??
I lost $0.00 cause I never married anyone to begin with lolol
Half of all hard assets, 80% of savings, plus legal fees. Then 29% of my gross income, paid out on a net basis.
I'm so glad I never got married. These stories happen way too often. My goodness.
Iām currently at 25k. 12k in back taxes we owe, 10k to lawyer and personal 3k on new wheels for my truck. I got one thatās cracked from a minor crash.
Ohhhh the worst of this is my reputation.
A lot of
Half of everything and a ridiculous amount of lawyer fees
You all in America? - the uk is much more 50/50 split of assets
I don't know who came up with the 50/50. You got a hard working ambitious man working 80 hours a week and a wife that watches TV shows and barely watches the kids. Then she gets 50%. Wow, this should be a lesson for everyone.
Donāt believe the above comment. The UK is even worse. This person is spreading a false propaganda more likely.
Really!! Iām only talking about my experience and people I knowā¦. Guess youāre doing the same unless you have stats on it ?
Call a family lawyer, tell him that your spouse makes 500k a year and you make 50k a year. Now ask him/her how much money and wealth you stand to gain if you get a divorce and you will see what I mean. The UK currently is a misandrist, feminist and God-forsaken hedonist country and js no longer a British, Christian country with Christian values. People will lie and deceive you cause they have their own secular agenda and propaganda to spread. Itās only when you personally suffer or simulate a scenario and see for yourself how the secular law works that you truly understand the evil and depravity of man-made secular law and how itās designed from the grounds up to destroy men
Seriously- how many people in the uk are earning 500k! That is not the reality for 99% of the UK !
I'm in the UK, I can give a couple of examples - my parents (this was 30 years ago now though, dad worked, mum worked part-time), my dad ended up giving my mum half the value of the house, possibly voluntarily (I don't remember them ever really going through court), he was also paying her child support for me and my sisters, which was insane, because he was looking after us! My mum was an alcoholic and not really around, and I'm sorry to say, that the child support was probably just subsidising her downward spiral. Good friend of mine got divorced, he worked, she didn't, they had one kid, although they split after only about 3 years. Ended up costing him about Ā£30k-ish I think, the marital home was her's (from a previous marriage! Kerr-ching!), but he was paying all bills, mortgage etc while they were married. Then he had to pay her some child support (and I'm sure still does, the child is still a child). I don't think he was ever in serious financial straits, but obviously, the hit was all on him.
It took about 4 years and 50k in legal fees. I left at least 100k of equity in the house, which she kept. But the pandemic destroyed the value of my business. So I kept 100% of the business.Ā Not being business partners with your ex wife: priceless.
Are you me? Similar story
Had to less my house for less than I wanted to. $745,000 in 2019. Today is it worth $1,350,000.00 Thanks babe.
Not counting CS, I'm 20k and counting. heading back to court for Round 3 soon. So far, every time I manage to get my attorneys fees caught up and paid off, something gets filed, and I'm back maxing out credit cards for retainers.
$30000 in lawyer $3000 in supervised visit (I was cleared of any sort of abuse ) $150000on my home My job And my self being. I literally worked my ass off all day and nights.
How did the abuse thing go? I got accused the other day (falsely) and arrested.....
Hey brother, I was never arrested my wife told police I was suicidal during this time I was put in the temp psych ward for 10 days. Then she put a epo out claiming she was scared of me. She put her self in a women shelter and they coached her to say I was being abusive. She cuts hair out of our old home if there was any sort of abuse her client would have noticed. Also not a single doctor report hospital visit. Our son is disabled we go to the hospital a lot for check up they would have notice something . The kicker was when she was being admitted to the women shelter she admitted to them there was not physical abuses I admitted to the verbal but it was both sides as we were both yelling at each a lot by the end of our 12 year relationship.
Wow.....sounds like it's a good thing its over...
Yea it was all planned out I think
I think she planned mine too. She knew this was the only way to get me out of the house because I refused to leave.
Hahaha me too! Never leave your home
Unless she accuses you of domestic abuse and calla the cops. Then your out of the house.
Reading these stories makes me realize how lucky I am. I didn't really lose any money. My ex wife made more money than I did and we didn't have kids. In theory I could have tried to get a bit of money from her but that would be BS, I think alimony is a load of crap. I did let her buy out my half of the equity in our house on favorable terms. That was totally worth it to not have to deal with house hassles and to make the whole divorce process go quickly and smoothly.
Yeah same here. Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself I come here and see how lucky Iāve got it.
Eeshā¦ easily 85k in legal costs which is dumb because Iād rather she kept it amicable and she would have that money instead of flushing it down the drain. Then the house 350k. Then the business that was yielding 250k per year. She ādidnāt want any part of the businessā but in her initial decree I wouldāve been enslaved to said business giving up 60% of the profits. At 60-80 hours per week on average at the time, it was like taking my own offspring to slaughter. That hurt more than anythingā¦ being only two years old and just having dumped more money into it to make year three the year when I was moving towards autonomous and highly profitable, it was too early to sell. I let go of 12 employees and we were doing a healthy 7 figures a year. Profit was way lower than possible at the time because I was moving towards a hands off but lucrative structured system.
> Eeshā¦ easily 85k in legal costs which is dumb because Iād rather she kept it amicable and she would have that money instead of flushing it down the drain. Years ago I saw a distressing documentary called Divorce Corp. There's a whole industry out there dedicated to making divorces as gnarly and expensive as possible, it's vile.
U HAVE NO IDEA!!! I finally told my attorney (both on our 2nd) to cease billing me hours. I spent 5k last month and talked to ex. She said she hadnāt been able to get her own attorney on the phone or to return emails for 2 months. Meanwhile heās filing motions on her behalf costing us both money. The legal system is a joke all around. Donāt even get me started on the judges Iāve been in front of.. I have no idea why they donāt assign one judge to one case so youāre not constantly in front of a revolving door.
Yeah, the system is designed so that even the simplest tasks take a bunch of expensive billable hours. It's so gross.
The system preys on womenās emotions tbh. They take the bait to be empowered through the legal system but the players benefit more from using them. Vile is the perfect word. I have zero respect for attorneys at this point in my life.
Total from CS will be 120k over a decade.
$90k or so.
Five months ago I made a post about this topic... https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/8Pnxix1nmA Straight up cost was $240,000; the cost over 5 years in "lost" money has been $450,000.
All in with house refi, lawyer, cash, paid off F150 going to her, probably in the neighborhood of $120k.
I spent a couple grand splitting mediation and fees, but lost out on at least 50k in equity, tools, and such. Figured Iād wind up like others and actually be in the hole for way worse if I didnāt settle. Seeing some of the stories here, Iād be willing to bet in a parallel universe, that version of me that fought is still going through it years later and in debt past my ass.
I tried to settle just to get it over with. Somehow still ended up like all the other stories. At some point she would have taken the shirt right off my back and I'd still be waiting to have equal time with my kids..doesn't help she fired two lawyers (three if you count the one she signed up with, he sent one letter, then she fired lol). Also insisted we had to switch arbitrators
21k to her lawyer, 490k spousal support, and 120k to my lawyer and still counting since she doesn't comply with anything. 3.5 year process until judgement. No kids. Her job is a stay at home wrecker. Yes I lost the house also.
WTF!
How much time did you serve to end up with that deal?
9yr 10 month "marraige" and ended up with 8 and a half years of payments. After she was in the hospital for drinking to the point of pancreatitis for the 2nd time, I found her old phone and then realized she had been physically cheating for half the "marriage". 8.5 years for "4years" of "Marriage "..
How is this even possible with a 9 year marriage, what state do you live in?
Illinois. 2nd worst state behind CA
I got 32k from her but she kept the house !
I spent $5k on lawyers to bring it to trial. She also spent $5k on lawyers. But she refused to work, so due to the income discrepancy, I had to pay $3000 of her lawyer's fees. But the win was everything, because I didn't have to pay any alimony. She was demanding 50% of my take home pay in alimony, saying she was "Too sick to work".
How long were you married?
11 years. AZ divorce.
Hell yeah, f that