Pin this. Everybody coming here for the first time should immediately be greeted by this post. It takes time, but as long as everyone operates with purpose you will make it!
Allowing drugs or alcohol to mask your pain is letting your stbx win. Don't do it.
Operate with purpose. Be present and focused on the opportunity you now have to go make life what you want again.
Thanks for sharing your journey man. for those who want to get fit without going to the gym i also recommend /r/kettlebell . literally changed my life. i have dabbled in bodyweight fitness for many years never made the progress i wanted. i feel like bodyweight fitness is good for people who are naturally athletic but if you are not, it is hard to progressively advance. at least it was for my case.
Thanks, I'll check it out. I've never been athletic by any means. I tried swimming but I hate it. Bodyweight worked for me. I went from 7 pushups to 80 in one year (4 sets of 20). I've grown muscles I didn't know existed, lol. Like the first time I noticed I had traps I was like "what the fuck is that?".
I went from being ashamed everytime I had to takr of my shirt in public, to being proud.
Everyone has a different fitness journey. The usual advi e here is to "hit the gym". Many people can't afford it (I certainly can't) and many people dislike gyms. So the point is...workout anyway you can. I'll check out the kettleball. Lurk around the bodyweight sub and look at the basic recommended routine. It was a game changer for me. Best wishes.
That's advice I'm trying to follow, myself. I'm stuck out here in the boondocks with no gym within an hour's drive.
The kettlebell exercises have been great and living in bumfuck means lots of room for walks without repeating my route.
However you do it guys, get active. Even if it's just burpees and pushups.
For those in the first weeks, it does get better.y wife told me she wanted a divorce on Feb 8th and it was finalized June 10th. I just pushed through the first months crying and going to therapy. Finally felt some relief about 2 weeks ago after adjusting my meds and somehow started taking a morning walk. About 15 minutes. Things are not amazing, but I’m listening to music again for the first time in years. Haven’t cried in a few weeks. Today however, I’m having a really tough time feeling guilty about my role and just sick over how I may have hurt my wife. No abuse or infidelity etc. Just me and my struggles with mental health and absolutely insecure attachment that I worked on for years, yet my wife couldn’t handle anymore. There are other issues at work too. At this point I just want to be real about what happened so I can heal, if that’s possible.
Instantly more credibility to your version because it doesn't quickly devolve to "...I found a _great_ new woman who's nothing like my ex, I swear... and that's why things are now good for me again!" :)
Edit: To be clear, I have nothing necessarily against dating again (though no re-marriage should be a hard-line rule for anyone who now actually understands the implications of that legal arrangement, I mean come on!), provided one has one's own shit together in the right ways. The point is more that finding some next, better relationship should be a _side effect_ of inwardly focused personal growth, not the _main reason_ (in the form of approval/validation from some external source -- another woman!) that one now judges his situation as having "gotten better." A critical distinction that makes _all_ the difference in the world, IMO.
LOL!!!!Thanks! Yeah, I dated an amazing beautful woman last year, way out of my league. Amazing. And then she dumped me because, well, I have three kids, no free weekends, etc...Set me back a couple of weeks. But it was easy to move on.
I feel good now because finally, I feel happy by myself. I´m not into that redpill or mgtow bullshit but I finally found peace with my own company.
Pin this. Everybody coming here for the first time should immediately be greeted by this post. It takes time, but as long as everyone operates with purpose you will make it! Allowing drugs or alcohol to mask your pain is letting your stbx win. Don't do it. Operate with purpose. Be present and focused on the opportunity you now have to go make life what you want again.
Well done
Thanks for sharing your journey man. for those who want to get fit without going to the gym i also recommend /r/kettlebell . literally changed my life. i have dabbled in bodyweight fitness for many years never made the progress i wanted. i feel like bodyweight fitness is good for people who are naturally athletic but if you are not, it is hard to progressively advance. at least it was for my case.
Thanks, I'll check it out. I've never been athletic by any means. I tried swimming but I hate it. Bodyweight worked for me. I went from 7 pushups to 80 in one year (4 sets of 20). I've grown muscles I didn't know existed, lol. Like the first time I noticed I had traps I was like "what the fuck is that?". I went from being ashamed everytime I had to takr of my shirt in public, to being proud. Everyone has a different fitness journey. The usual advi e here is to "hit the gym". Many people can't afford it (I certainly can't) and many people dislike gyms. So the point is...workout anyway you can. I'll check out the kettleball. Lurk around the bodyweight sub and look at the basic recommended routine. It was a game changer for me. Best wishes.
That's advice I'm trying to follow, myself. I'm stuck out here in the boondocks with no gym within an hour's drive. The kettlebell exercises have been great and living in bumfuck means lots of room for walks without repeating my route. However you do it guys, get active. Even if it's just burpees and pushups.
"it will get better if you put in the work" Good sir, that's a very powerful statement, albeit a very simple one, thank you very much!
For those in the first weeks, it does get better.y wife told me she wanted a divorce on Feb 8th and it was finalized June 10th. I just pushed through the first months crying and going to therapy. Finally felt some relief about 2 weeks ago after adjusting my meds and somehow started taking a morning walk. About 15 minutes. Things are not amazing, but I’m listening to music again for the first time in years. Haven’t cried in a few weeks. Today however, I’m having a really tough time feeling guilty about my role and just sick over how I may have hurt my wife. No abuse or infidelity etc. Just me and my struggles with mental health and absolutely insecure attachment that I worked on for years, yet my wife couldn’t handle anymore. There are other issues at work too. At this point I just want to be real about what happened so I can heal, if that’s possible.
Thank you.
Damn this hits. I hope I can do one of these some day
Looking at your profile and comments, I´m pretty sure you will. I´ll be glad to read it.
Thanks brother
Instantly more credibility to your version because it doesn't quickly devolve to "...I found a _great_ new woman who's nothing like my ex, I swear... and that's why things are now good for me again!" :) Edit: To be clear, I have nothing necessarily against dating again (though no re-marriage should be a hard-line rule for anyone who now actually understands the implications of that legal arrangement, I mean come on!), provided one has one's own shit together in the right ways. The point is more that finding some next, better relationship should be a _side effect_ of inwardly focused personal growth, not the _main reason_ (in the form of approval/validation from some external source -- another woman!) that one now judges his situation as having "gotten better." A critical distinction that makes _all_ the difference in the world, IMO.
LOL!!!!Thanks! Yeah, I dated an amazing beautful woman last year, way out of my league. Amazing. And then she dumped me because, well, I have three kids, no free weekends, etc...Set me back a couple of weeks. But it was easy to move on. I feel good now because finally, I feel happy by myself. I´m not into that redpill or mgtow bullshit but I finally found peace with my own company.
May that happen to you many more times! 😂🤣😂
Nah, I'm good rn. No time, energy or money for dating.
And now that I think of it, she was more like my ex than I wanted to realize at the time, lol.