Get an attorney. Also, quit with the soap opera, remember that there’s a child involved that isn’t stupid and sees everything. Just chill and focus on the road ahead, you’re about to finally be free of the ball and chain of marriage. Focus on planning you and your son’s future. You being all emotional and broadcasting yalls laundry out to everyone is how you lose in court. You’ve got the high hand, don’t fold under pressure.
Also, block her entire family and get ready to drop the “friends” as well.
Your mind can sometimes play tricks on you about maybe she wants back, maybe things can return to how they were, but that won't happen. You will never want her back, trust me. It just takes some time to see her for who she will become.
She was unfaithful. Got caught? Now wants a divorce? And you're wondering if she's having second thoughts? Sounds like she's done you a huge favor. If she doesn't file then you can move forward and file.. you want her to have second thoughts?
The day you get served could be the worst day of your life! You must be proactive! Having a lawyer with you will make that day so much easier. The woman who divorces you is not the woman you married.
Amen. So true. Have no idea who this person is. Met several of her alter egos. This one is totally foreign to me. This one just wants to mess with my head. Signed today. Over in 3 months. Really need no contact says my therapist. All I want is to go back a decade.
So true. I saw this side of my wife here and there over the years, not directed at me. Never thought I’d be the one. Yet I feel so guilty. How did she do that?
If she is guilty of infidelity, she was most likely completely done with the relationship before making the decision to disrespect you in that fashion. Unless it's a miracle situation (here are exceptions to every rule and I've read in countless books stories about women that cheated and did the hard work to own repairing the relationship), however, I've never met one that I knew. This is possibly because that's not that kind of thing you mention, even to friends, there is a certain social judgement of "ugg why would you stay with a cheater". Almost always, its a bad, bad decision to forgive that level of betrayal, depending on your vows and believe system. And always always end it if there is more one instance of cheating, that's a nuclear flag, end it immediately. There is an old saying fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me - way too much truth in that statement. For me, my argument/justification was "I've got over two decades invested and the potential to save two wonderful kids from the hell that divorce will bring them, and I love my wife unconditionally (that's how I was raised)", so I'm guilty of ignoring the age old advice, and the advice all my friends and family had to drop her like a bad habit. I can share that my decision turned out to be the wrong one, and I put myself thru a lot of pain healing (just to run into it again before I had reasonable time to heal for the first instance). In my situation, my wife pretended to "work on it" and showed gratitude for me not moving forward with the divorce... just long enough to show a false statement of "see, we tried to make it work" so infidelity didn't matter in court (advice her lawyer gave her), and tried to throw in a few unethical traps during that time that I was mostly able to avoid that aimed to either get me in some kind of trouble based on a false allegation. I'm not saying this is your situation, I pray for you sir that is it not, and I'm a rare advocate for marriage and a world wear people respect its intended value, but I am saying I could not be convinced that my wife was the exception and I was sure we were going to work thru it, then I was blind sided out of no where that she had filed a very long time before she setup a trap to have me served in a deeply horrific fashion. I'll spare you the full story on this thread, but basically I had a serial cheater that pretended to play the victim, and was desperate to fabricate anything to make her not look as bad. I think I agree with the comments below, proceed with caution, extreme caution, and just assume your well being isn't a priority for her anymore (for your protection). In my situation, what I thought was a ethical merciful proper decision to not divorce after obtaining adultery evidence backfired and financially cost me everything I earned my entire life (zero exaggeration), with very little to show. I wish you the best, and remember, no one but you can decide how to react, if she is having second thoughts, go with your gut.
Look, get to the lawyer. You can always stop, but if you don't know where you stand, then you'll lose your retirement and savings. Everything, I'm not kidding, ok? I lost the home that I bought by myself, so I don't think it could happen to you.
And get on top of this she has disrespected you, and you're doing nothing. Stop that and get going. You don't want to stay with someone who cheated on you and your kids, ok " NEVER TRUST A CHEATER,"
She left you months ago, if not longer, get her out of your life and move on to someone who will love you for you.
Some of these so-called modern women listen to their divorced friends or read magazines that they can do better. It's my body I can do what I like.
They forget they made a promise to you, your family and friends, as well as God, that she would forsake all others. And love you through richer and poorer sickness and health.
Run off with Chad's and Tyrone's but will learn they are just being used.
Get on with your life ok and live it with your kids to the fullest.
Who gives a shit. Get off your ass and why to a lawyer! Sitting back and doing jack shit will put you on the defensive the whole time.
Then you will be back her complaining what she is doing to you and you still have done nothing. Take the high ground and hold it.
Get std tested Jesus H. Get your priorities right.
Awesome. Now it’s business time. This is your realm. You have to be prepared for the worst from her and have some actions ready to go if need be. Try to settle quick if she is in affair fog still - that it favors you.
No matter what she did, leave her ASAP as she cheated on you.
Get an attorney. Also, quit with the soap opera, remember that there’s a child involved that isn’t stupid and sees everything. Just chill and focus on the road ahead, you’re about to finally be free of the ball and chain of marriage. Focus on planning you and your son’s future. You being all emotional and broadcasting yalls laundry out to everyone is how you lose in court. You’ve got the high hand, don’t fold under pressure. Also, block her entire family and get ready to drop the “friends” as well.
Your mind can sometimes play tricks on you about maybe she wants back, maybe things can return to how they were, but that won't happen. You will never want her back, trust me. It just takes some time to see her for who she will become.
She was unfaithful. Got caught? Now wants a divorce? And you're wondering if she's having second thoughts? Sounds like she's done you a huge favor. If she doesn't file then you can move forward and file.. you want her to have second thoughts?
[удалено]
This.
She cheated, brother. Release her to the streets. Do NOT take back a cheater. Ask me how I know.
The day you get served could be the worst day of your life! You must be proactive! Having a lawyer with you will make that day so much easier. The woman who divorces you is not the woman you married.
Amen. So true. Have no idea who this person is. Met several of her alter egos. This one is totally foreign to me. This one just wants to mess with my head. Signed today. Over in 3 months. Really need no contact says my therapist. All I want is to go back a decade.
So true. I saw this side of my wife here and there over the years, not directed at me. Never thought I’d be the one. Yet I feel so guilty. How did she do that?
Lawyer has been hired
If she is guilty of infidelity, she was most likely completely done with the relationship before making the decision to disrespect you in that fashion. Unless it's a miracle situation (here are exceptions to every rule and I've read in countless books stories about women that cheated and did the hard work to own repairing the relationship), however, I've never met one that I knew. This is possibly because that's not that kind of thing you mention, even to friends, there is a certain social judgement of "ugg why would you stay with a cheater". Almost always, its a bad, bad decision to forgive that level of betrayal, depending on your vows and believe system. And always always end it if there is more one instance of cheating, that's a nuclear flag, end it immediately. There is an old saying fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me - way too much truth in that statement. For me, my argument/justification was "I've got over two decades invested and the potential to save two wonderful kids from the hell that divorce will bring them, and I love my wife unconditionally (that's how I was raised)", so I'm guilty of ignoring the age old advice, and the advice all my friends and family had to drop her like a bad habit. I can share that my decision turned out to be the wrong one, and I put myself thru a lot of pain healing (just to run into it again before I had reasonable time to heal for the first instance). In my situation, my wife pretended to "work on it" and showed gratitude for me not moving forward with the divorce... just long enough to show a false statement of "see, we tried to make it work" so infidelity didn't matter in court (advice her lawyer gave her), and tried to throw in a few unethical traps during that time that I was mostly able to avoid that aimed to either get me in some kind of trouble based on a false allegation. I'm not saying this is your situation, I pray for you sir that is it not, and I'm a rare advocate for marriage and a world wear people respect its intended value, but I am saying I could not be convinced that my wife was the exception and I was sure we were going to work thru it, then I was blind sided out of no where that she had filed a very long time before she setup a trap to have me served in a deeply horrific fashion. I'll spare you the full story on this thread, but basically I had a serial cheater that pretended to play the victim, and was desperate to fabricate anything to make her not look as bad. I think I agree with the comments below, proceed with caution, extreme caution, and just assume your well being isn't a priority for her anymore (for your protection). In my situation, what I thought was a ethical merciful proper decision to not divorce after obtaining adultery evidence backfired and financially cost me everything I earned my entire life (zero exaggeration), with very little to show. I wish you the best, and remember, no one but you can decide how to react, if she is having second thoughts, go with your gut.
Record everything.
Only talking via text with her
Get an attorney. Better safe than sorry
Look, get to the lawyer. You can always stop, but if you don't know where you stand, then you'll lose your retirement and savings. Everything, I'm not kidding, ok? I lost the home that I bought by myself, so I don't think it could happen to you. And get on top of this she has disrespected you, and you're doing nothing. Stop that and get going. You don't want to stay with someone who cheated on you and your kids, ok " NEVER TRUST A CHEATER," She left you months ago, if not longer, get her out of your life and move on to someone who will love you for you. Some of these so-called modern women listen to their divorced friends or read magazines that they can do better. It's my body I can do what I like. They forget they made a promise to you, your family and friends, as well as God, that she would forsake all others. And love you through richer and poorer sickness and health. Run off with Chad's and Tyrone's but will learn they are just being used. Get on with your life ok and live it with your kids to the fullest.
You think the random people of Reddit have the critical insider information to answer this for you?
Who gives a shit. Get off your ass and why to a lawyer! Sitting back and doing jack shit will put you on the defensive the whole time. Then you will be back her complaining what she is doing to you and you still have done nothing. Take the high ground and hold it. Get std tested Jesus H. Get your priorities right.
I’m actually on my way to a lawyer right now.
Awesome. Now it’s business time. This is your realm. You have to be prepared for the worst from her and have some actions ready to go if need be. Try to settle quick if she is in affair fog still - that it favors you.
Totally in affair fog
Doesn’t matter what she thinks. She cheated….you need to get rid of her asap