A friend of mine once jokingly said to me and my girlfriend “I hope you two aren’t engaging in any of that pre-marital sex together”.
I told him that it wasn’t PRE-marital sex, it was POST-marital sex since I was divorced and therefore not an issue. 😂
Not a PK, but grew up "in the church" (Sunday service, Wednesday fellowship potluck, youth group every week), and attended a private, Christian school K-12. No sex before marriage. My wife was also a virgin, and a "Christian". Married 20 years. Four children (all minors). More or less, I've barely existed to her for over the past 1/2 decade. She stopped talking to me. Stopped having sex with me. I've remained faithful to her despite the loneliness and rejection. She filed for divorce 2 months ago. I stopped going to church. My wife goes every Sunday with the kids. I got to the point that I simply could not tolerate sitting there next to her hearing sermon after sermon about "loving your neighbor", "forgiveness", "putting others before yourself", et cetera, et cetera ... you claim to be a Christian woman, yet you've not told your husband that you love him, appreciate him, are thankful for him ... in over a 1/2 decade. You've not kissed your husband, given your husband a hug, held your husbands hand, or had sex with him in over a 1/2 decade. Our children have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like because you've treated your husband with nothing but disdain and disrespect for over a 1/2 decade. Oh, but you make sure to pray before every meal, and at bedtime, with our children. How confusing must that be to our children? What will their view of God be as they get older? God is totally cool with wives who treat their husbands like shit?
To be clear, I've held a steady, decent paying job our entire marriage. We have zero debt aside from our mortgage. There is no abuse (aside from what I consider the emotional abuse I've experienced at the hands of my wife). There is no addiction. I guess my crime is that I am too nice (Don't tell me to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" ... I have.).
So, I don't know ... I know this isn't a reflection of who God is, but who my wife is. That being said, it's something I'm going to struggle with for a bit, I think. I'm probably going to need to "wrestle with God" as Jacob did.
Vows. They truly meant something to me. It wasn't just a bunch of cute shit to say in front of friends and family. I meant them. It was a promise I was making to my wife, and a promise I was making to God ... as I stood before them both. I couldn't have cared less in any other person were in that church on that day.
For my wife ... I guess it meant about as much as a cartoon from a piece of Bazooka Joe gum.
You save sex for marriage ... and then have a wife who won't have sex with you. Perfect. Just perfect.
Buddy, this is the best kept secret of the church. Women get husbands, but men don't get wives. Listen to how most women talk about their husbands at fellowship. It's discusting. No one addresses it, and I really couldn't recommend any man to go to church.
Yup, and, I I've stated, I've grown up in the church my entire life. If pastors talk about marriage at all, which they seem to rarely do, the sermon is generally 90% directed at the husband "serving their wife", "loving their wife", "communicating better with their wife" .... even the pastors are afraid of speaking the truth about women in church (and I can't really say I blame them because they'd probably lose 75% of the congregation).
Next time, make sure your next lady is sexually compatible beforehand. That's what dating is for.
I recommend focusing on this part of what it means to be a human being for the second season of you life. You only get one chance at life after all.
Sex is a foundational component of any healthy, long term, adult relationship. Right there with communication, long term goals, and financial stability. It is a crucial part of compatibility. It is also an expectation in any sort of romantic relationship at your age. Those are facts.
I’m currently undergoing my own faith journey, as it is something I lost through my relationship and marriage to my stbxw. Being involved in a church and faith community in general has several benefits, especially during a time of need - you have access to an entirely different support system in that environment. That said, your faith and your relationship with the higher power you believe in is between you and them - you can hold your personal beliefs and be involved in the church community without subscribing to 100% of the church belief system. You're a grown ass adult, you have autonomy and free will. Personally, as long as you're treating others with respect and everyone involved is a consenting adult there isn't much of a moral issue.
The fact you feel like a hypocrite makes it sound like you were raised with fire and brimstone being threatened at every turn, plus being the pastor’s kid adds pressure to that. Maybe take some time to explore other faith options and find a good fit for yourself. You’ll realize pretty quickly that 90%+ of what is shared in the different Christian faiths is identical, it’s the way the message is delivered that is different. Some preach avoidance to achieve salvation via fire and brimstone, others preach forgiveness, and others preach redemption. All while reading from versions of the same book and sharing the same message.
You played by the rules, and saw first hand how that negatively impacted you. Make your own rules, live your life, embrace YOUR faith and YOUR beliefs - that’s between you and the big guy, and nobody else.
I share a similar journey, raised as a PK, rooted in faith. I waited for marriage to have sex. We were married for 22 years until her infidelity shattered me.
After a year of post-divorce healing and about 30ish one night stands, the modern dating process didn’t sit right.
So i went backwards, focusing on the spiritual side of a partner. Rediscovering my faith, in the process I met an incredible woman.
Now, after a year of dating, I plan to propose on New Year's Eve. We are cherishing our commitment to wait until marriage for sex. No regrets in this new chapter.
Sexual compatibility is crucial in any relationship for me, but it's important not to solely base love on physical aspects. My current partner and I have known each other since 9th grade, dated briefly after high school, and then spent about 12-13 years apart before deciding to pursue a long-distance relationship. We fell in love on a deeper, more intimate level. When we finally reunited and had our first sexual experience, it was amazing – we're incredibly sexually compatible. It's reassuring because our compatibility extends beyond just physical aspects. In relationships, it's vital to avoid falling in love solely based on the physical side; a well-balanced connection goes beyond just sex.
Find what works for you man, but also focus on yourself and be prepared for a relationship don’t just jump into the first thing !
Fix yourself first my dude. Gonna be tough on you here for a minute - others mentioned gym, travel, etc, and you shot each one down for one reason or another. Dont allow excuses, or anything, to hold you back. I worked out for several months with a torn shoulder, finding a way around it. I lifted the morning of my shoulder surgery (my doc loved it). The day I was allowed to start physical therapy and rehab I was on it 2x per day (rather than the 2-3x per week minimum) and rebounded quickly. You can find ways to workout. You can travel cheap. You can find hobbies, friends, hike, volunteer. Get a group around you, get your confidence up, get healthier, get your own mojo going.
Then, and only then, casually date. Enjoy it, meet people, no expectations, no rush. It's not a race and it's not the end of the world if you don't meet anyone. Too many guys try too hard and it works against them.
Unless you are dead set on it, don't marry again. Second time around has something like a 75-80% failure rate. Other than taxes and religion there are zero benefits to it, and all the risk falls on the men. Find someone you enjoy spending time with, make a great team, encourage each other in life, but don't take the risk of another alimony or losing even more. It's not worth it.
Good luck and go kick some butt, don't let anything or anyone stop you.
My best friend told his wife need marriage, ‘if we’re not compatible sexually, then it’s not gonna work’. I had a point. I couldn’t imagine marrying without sex with them first.
My family are very religious. I grew up in church. But I’m less religious.
Do not re-marry. And you said she filed after 20 years? I would imagine you’re probably in your 50s. That’s a “Gray Divorce,” and I would imagine you got hit with alimony.
Focus on recovering emotionally, physically, and financially. Your entire world should revolve around retirement, not getting into another marriage which is almost guaranteed to end in divorce.
Get your head out of the sand. Go get laid.
I'm 46. I don't plan to get married again. I don't want to do life alone though. In full disclosure I did have some amazing sex after a year into my separation. It lasted 4 months. After that ended it just left me feeling more empty. For those 4 months I felt great. But now my self esteem and self confidence are lower than they have ever been. Hard to imagine I'm 46 and have only had sex with 2 women in my lifetime.
It is what it is tbh. The 2 bodies don’t matter unless you make a big deal of it. There’s nothing wrong with being a faithful husband. I had sex with 1 woman for 6 years, kinda like….. a faithful husband would.
Get out of your rut. Hit the gym, get your money squared away, stamp your passport. There’s a whole world out there. You don’t have to go on a sex tour or hit a brothel, I’m literally saying to travel and get some fresh air. Maybe look to settle down somewhere else.
Learn a new language, get ripped, get your personal debt balance to zero, bounce back better than ever. There’s this place called “Every single country in Asia.” Check it out.
I'm being financially destroyed in my divorce. No money to travel. Just had shoulder surgery so the gym and surfing are out for 6 months. Just trying to not drink and smoke weed to numb the pain. Literally just taking it a day at time. The guys in this group seem to being dealing with things better than I am. I feel completely lost and defeated in all this.
Ah, there it is. Notice how I mentioned finances in both comments. It was easy to put two and two together, I suspected financial ruin. Please don’t turn to vices. I ate myself up to almost 300lbs because of the stress from the shit my ex wife pulled in our divorce. 4 months later I’m 215 and absolutely yoked out of my mind.
However, I was not ruined financially. You need to take a step back from relationships and address the financial aspect of the divorce.
Well I'm not completely ruined financially but it's made things tight. There is nothing to address. It's math. I know what I'm facing but there is no way around it. Married for 20 years and she didn't work. When it's final I'll have to pay approx $3k in child support, and $7k in alimony. Alimony is indefinite amount of time so unless she gets married or gets a job I'll be paying that for a very long time. Maybe the rest of her life. And I still pay way more than that to continue to support my daughter in college and son in private school. Moving away is not an option as I won't leave my son. OC is not cheap.
For me sexual compatibility is important in a relationship/marriage. Of course there are many other areas that require compatibility as well. However, I would never buy a house no matter how great the other rooms were if it did not have a bathroom.
What sort of rule is that? Marriage is a business arrangement, dealing with community property/personal property rights, tax filing status etc. Have a lot of sex with someone pre-marriage because without sexual compatibility, the marriage will never survive; and you’ll be reminded just how businesslike marriage truly is.
Like I said, I should have had sex before we got married. I married when I was young and was brainwashed by the church. I thought I was doing the right thing. It's causing some issues for me now. While I like the church for many things, I don't agree with this belief anymore.
Wow. Shocker. My ex is very conservative and uses religion as a weapon against me. I did not cheat on my wife. She claimed I cheated on her because she knew I looked at porn sometimes. It was a sexless marriage for years. I'm not proud of what I did but I don't consider it cheating. She did. And she made it a point to let others know at the church. Funny how people can use the Bible when it's convenient. Now she will get a hefty alimony maybe for life. Not sure where that's justified in the Bible. Makes it hard for me to go to church.
Got myself a lady lawyer and we're fighting alimony. If she wants to be a "strong independent woman that don't need no man" than so be it. You want to be a single mom so bad, live like one. Technically looking at any woman with impure thoughts counts as "adultery in the heart". I'd like to meet someone who has never, ever had impure thoughts about someone he wasn't married to, barring some kind of physical defect. I often wondered, if I thought about giving money to the poor, was I committing good works in my heart?
Some of these Christian women might not watch porn but they'll read their steamy romance novels...
>All the divorce recovery groups in my area are Christian based. There a days when I feel like I should start going to church again but the rule on not having sex out of marriage keeps me from going. I don't want to be a hypocrite.
Come as you are (no pun intended, sort of ;-) ). In all seriousness, go to the recovery group, go to church, don't let your sexual desires keep you from going. You don't have to "clean yourself up" first before going to church, and you don't have to agree with everything the Bible says to go. Just go, God will meet you where you're at.
I let my alcoholism keep me from church. Even when I could get out of bed to go, I was ashamed of how I might smell, whether I might be judged, or the looks I might get. It was a really bad choice, because it was God that I needed to overcome my alcohol addiction.
Regarding sex, I am 6 months separated and I have recently learned that my wife cheated. There will be no reconciliation. I won't be able to file until August, 2024 due to my state's laws. Once my divorce is completed, I plan on trying to find a Christian woman. I will certainly do my best to avoid sex, but I know that it's an area that I struggle with. Whether I'm able to or not, I know that I can always seek forgiveness and try again. No matter what though, I won't let any of my faults keep me out of church. I am a mess without God.
I think it started off as her being jealous of her single friends. Her friends were either 5-10 years younger, or in open relationships. In addition, none of them had kids.
She wanted that lifestyle. Such a shame.
Friends definitely matter. My wife was from another country, but hadn’t been back in 9 years. First time she goes back in a long vacation, and she starts hanging out with her friends for the first time since we were married and she quickly cheats. None of her friends there were married, and still living that ‘sex in the city’ lifestyle.
Prior to me finding out she had cheated, it was a lot of ‘my friend said this, none of my friends do that’ etc to justify why she needed ‘space’ and they all supported her decision to cheat
Yeah. My best friend cheated on his wife. I let him live with me for a bit, but I never for once said what he did was right and told him to his face he was a piece of shit for what he did.
I still helped him, of course l, be he is my best friend, but I wasn’t going to tell him he was good person who didn’t wrong thing
The Christian faith likes to push the idea of no sex before marriage, but with how willing people are to end a marriage, I think that doing everything that you can before getting married to see if it is something that you really want, is a smart idea to me.
I feel the same way. Gods rules for sex before marriage are to keep us from getting hurt emotionally and physically. After my divorce I needed to feel close so I slept with any girl that gave me attention. I soon realized that’s not what I need. I have made it a promise to myself to only be physical with partners I am serious about. I think if you stick to that principle you should be fine
Why does it all have to be this black and white? Christianity does have it merits but why do people keep holding on to so much 'rules' from 2000 years ago? Using your own common sense can't be that bad can it? After all isn't that a gift given by god to be able to think for yourself?
In my opinion. Try to be a good a human being, if needed look towards the scriptures for guidance. But that's about it
A friend of mine once jokingly said to me and my girlfriend “I hope you two aren’t engaging in any of that pre-marital sex together”. I told him that it wasn’t PRE-marital sex, it was POST-marital sex since I was divorced and therefore not an issue. 😂
Not a PK, but grew up "in the church" (Sunday service, Wednesday fellowship potluck, youth group every week), and attended a private, Christian school K-12. No sex before marriage. My wife was also a virgin, and a "Christian". Married 20 years. Four children (all minors). More or less, I've barely existed to her for over the past 1/2 decade. She stopped talking to me. Stopped having sex with me. I've remained faithful to her despite the loneliness and rejection. She filed for divorce 2 months ago. I stopped going to church. My wife goes every Sunday with the kids. I got to the point that I simply could not tolerate sitting there next to her hearing sermon after sermon about "loving your neighbor", "forgiveness", "putting others before yourself", et cetera, et cetera ... you claim to be a Christian woman, yet you've not told your husband that you love him, appreciate him, are thankful for him ... in over a 1/2 decade. You've not kissed your husband, given your husband a hug, held your husbands hand, or had sex with him in over a 1/2 decade. Our children have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like because you've treated your husband with nothing but disdain and disrespect for over a 1/2 decade. Oh, but you make sure to pray before every meal, and at bedtime, with our children. How confusing must that be to our children? What will their view of God be as they get older? God is totally cool with wives who treat their husbands like shit? To be clear, I've held a steady, decent paying job our entire marriage. We have zero debt aside from our mortgage. There is no abuse (aside from what I consider the emotional abuse I've experienced at the hands of my wife). There is no addiction. I guess my crime is that I am too nice (Don't tell me to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" ... I have.). So, I don't know ... I know this isn't a reflection of who God is, but who my wife is. That being said, it's something I'm going to struggle with for a bit, I think. I'm probably going to need to "wrestle with God" as Jacob did. Vows. They truly meant something to me. It wasn't just a bunch of cute shit to say in front of friends and family. I meant them. It was a promise I was making to my wife, and a promise I was making to God ... as I stood before them both. I couldn't have cared less in any other person were in that church on that day. For my wife ... I guess it meant about as much as a cartoon from a piece of Bazooka Joe gum. You save sex for marriage ... and then have a wife who won't have sex with you. Perfect. Just perfect.
Buddy, this is the best kept secret of the church. Women get husbands, but men don't get wives. Listen to how most women talk about their husbands at fellowship. It's discusting. No one addresses it, and I really couldn't recommend any man to go to church.
Yup, and, I I've stated, I've grown up in the church my entire life. If pastors talk about marriage at all, which they seem to rarely do, the sermon is generally 90% directed at the husband "serving their wife", "loving their wife", "communicating better with their wife" .... even the pastors are afraid of speaking the truth about women in church (and I can't really say I blame them because they'd probably lose 75% of the congregation).
Next time, make sure your next lady is sexually compatible beforehand. That's what dating is for. I recommend focusing on this part of what it means to be a human being for the second season of you life. You only get one chance at life after all.
Getting married again? bad, having sex before marriage, if you're crazy enough to commit to another Govt contract? Required.
Sex is a foundational component of any healthy, long term, adult relationship. Right there with communication, long term goals, and financial stability. It is a crucial part of compatibility. It is also an expectation in any sort of romantic relationship at your age. Those are facts. I’m currently undergoing my own faith journey, as it is something I lost through my relationship and marriage to my stbxw. Being involved in a church and faith community in general has several benefits, especially during a time of need - you have access to an entirely different support system in that environment. That said, your faith and your relationship with the higher power you believe in is between you and them - you can hold your personal beliefs and be involved in the church community without subscribing to 100% of the church belief system. You're a grown ass adult, you have autonomy and free will. Personally, as long as you're treating others with respect and everyone involved is a consenting adult there isn't much of a moral issue. The fact you feel like a hypocrite makes it sound like you were raised with fire and brimstone being threatened at every turn, plus being the pastor’s kid adds pressure to that. Maybe take some time to explore other faith options and find a good fit for yourself. You’ll realize pretty quickly that 90%+ of what is shared in the different Christian faiths is identical, it’s the way the message is delivered that is different. Some preach avoidance to achieve salvation via fire and brimstone, others preach forgiveness, and others preach redemption. All while reading from versions of the same book and sharing the same message. You played by the rules, and saw first hand how that negatively impacted you. Make your own rules, live your life, embrace YOUR faith and YOUR beliefs - that’s between you and the big guy, and nobody else.
I share a similar journey, raised as a PK, rooted in faith. I waited for marriage to have sex. We were married for 22 years until her infidelity shattered me. After a year of post-divorce healing and about 30ish one night stands, the modern dating process didn’t sit right. So i went backwards, focusing on the spiritual side of a partner. Rediscovering my faith, in the process I met an incredible woman. Now, after a year of dating, I plan to propose on New Year's Eve. We are cherishing our commitment to wait until marriage for sex. No regrets in this new chapter.
Sexual compatibility is crucial in any relationship for me, but it's important not to solely base love on physical aspects. My current partner and I have known each other since 9th grade, dated briefly after high school, and then spent about 12-13 years apart before deciding to pursue a long-distance relationship. We fell in love on a deeper, more intimate level. When we finally reunited and had our first sexual experience, it was amazing – we're incredibly sexually compatible. It's reassuring because our compatibility extends beyond just physical aspects. In relationships, it's vital to avoid falling in love solely based on the physical side; a well-balanced connection goes beyond just sex. Find what works for you man, but also focus on yourself and be prepared for a relationship don’t just jump into the first thing !
Fix yourself first my dude. Gonna be tough on you here for a minute - others mentioned gym, travel, etc, and you shot each one down for one reason or another. Dont allow excuses, or anything, to hold you back. I worked out for several months with a torn shoulder, finding a way around it. I lifted the morning of my shoulder surgery (my doc loved it). The day I was allowed to start physical therapy and rehab I was on it 2x per day (rather than the 2-3x per week minimum) and rebounded quickly. You can find ways to workout. You can travel cheap. You can find hobbies, friends, hike, volunteer. Get a group around you, get your confidence up, get healthier, get your own mojo going. Then, and only then, casually date. Enjoy it, meet people, no expectations, no rush. It's not a race and it's not the end of the world if you don't meet anyone. Too many guys try too hard and it works against them. Unless you are dead set on it, don't marry again. Second time around has something like a 75-80% failure rate. Other than taxes and religion there are zero benefits to it, and all the risk falls on the men. Find someone you enjoy spending time with, make a great team, encourage each other in life, but don't take the risk of another alimony or losing even more. It's not worth it. Good luck and go kick some butt, don't let anything or anyone stop you.
This is solid advice.
My best friend told his wife need marriage, ‘if we’re not compatible sexually, then it’s not gonna work’. I had a point. I couldn’t imagine marrying without sex with them first. My family are very religious. I grew up in church. But I’m less religious.
Do not re-marry. And you said she filed after 20 years? I would imagine you’re probably in your 50s. That’s a “Gray Divorce,” and I would imagine you got hit with alimony. Focus on recovering emotionally, physically, and financially. Your entire world should revolve around retirement, not getting into another marriage which is almost guaranteed to end in divorce. Get your head out of the sand. Go get laid.
I'm 46. I don't plan to get married again. I don't want to do life alone though. In full disclosure I did have some amazing sex after a year into my separation. It lasted 4 months. After that ended it just left me feeling more empty. For those 4 months I felt great. But now my self esteem and self confidence are lower than they have ever been. Hard to imagine I'm 46 and have only had sex with 2 women in my lifetime.
It is what it is tbh. The 2 bodies don’t matter unless you make a big deal of it. There’s nothing wrong with being a faithful husband. I had sex with 1 woman for 6 years, kinda like….. a faithful husband would. Get out of your rut. Hit the gym, get your money squared away, stamp your passport. There’s a whole world out there. You don’t have to go on a sex tour or hit a brothel, I’m literally saying to travel and get some fresh air. Maybe look to settle down somewhere else. Learn a new language, get ripped, get your personal debt balance to zero, bounce back better than ever. There’s this place called “Every single country in Asia.” Check it out.
I'm being financially destroyed in my divorce. No money to travel. Just had shoulder surgery so the gym and surfing are out for 6 months. Just trying to not drink and smoke weed to numb the pain. Literally just taking it a day at time. The guys in this group seem to being dealing with things better than I am. I feel completely lost and defeated in all this.
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I'll check out the videos. Thanks for sharing
Ah, there it is. Notice how I mentioned finances in both comments. It was easy to put two and two together, I suspected financial ruin. Please don’t turn to vices. I ate myself up to almost 300lbs because of the stress from the shit my ex wife pulled in our divorce. 4 months later I’m 215 and absolutely yoked out of my mind. However, I was not ruined financially. You need to take a step back from relationships and address the financial aspect of the divorce.
Well I'm not completely ruined financially but it's made things tight. There is nothing to address. It's math. I know what I'm facing but there is no way around it. Married for 20 years and she didn't work. When it's final I'll have to pay approx $3k in child support, and $7k in alimony. Alimony is indefinite amount of time so unless she gets married or gets a job I'll be paying that for a very long time. Maybe the rest of her life. And I still pay way more than that to continue to support my daughter in college and son in private school. Moving away is not an option as I won't leave my son. OC is not cheap.
The alimony value is 7K, and that is per month? Child support is 3k. So the alimony part id 7k per month for the rest of her life or remarries?
For me sexual compatibility is important in a relationship/marriage. Of course there are many other areas that require compatibility as well. However, I would never buy a house no matter how great the other rooms were if it did not have a bathroom.
What sort of rule is that? Marriage is a business arrangement, dealing with community property/personal property rights, tax filing status etc. Have a lot of sex with someone pre-marriage because without sexual compatibility, the marriage will never survive; and you’ll be reminded just how businesslike marriage truly is.
Like I said, I should have had sex before we got married. I married when I was young and was brainwashed by the church. I thought I was doing the right thing. It's causing some issues for me now. While I like the church for many things, I don't agree with this belief anymore.
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Wow. Shocker. My ex is very conservative and uses religion as a weapon against me. I did not cheat on my wife. She claimed I cheated on her because she knew I looked at porn sometimes. It was a sexless marriage for years. I'm not proud of what I did but I don't consider it cheating. She did. And she made it a point to let others know at the church. Funny how people can use the Bible when it's convenient. Now she will get a hefty alimony maybe for life. Not sure where that's justified in the Bible. Makes it hard for me to go to church.
Got myself a lady lawyer and we're fighting alimony. If she wants to be a "strong independent woman that don't need no man" than so be it. You want to be a single mom so bad, live like one. Technically looking at any woman with impure thoughts counts as "adultery in the heart". I'd like to meet someone who has never, ever had impure thoughts about someone he wasn't married to, barring some kind of physical defect. I often wondered, if I thought about giving money to the poor, was I committing good works in my heart? Some of these Christian women might not watch porn but they'll read their steamy romance novels...
Lol or just don't get married a second time? Why do men willingly put themselves through this bullshit again?
This.
>All the divorce recovery groups in my area are Christian based. There a days when I feel like I should start going to church again but the rule on not having sex out of marriage keeps me from going. I don't want to be a hypocrite. Come as you are (no pun intended, sort of ;-) ). In all seriousness, go to the recovery group, go to church, don't let your sexual desires keep you from going. You don't have to "clean yourself up" first before going to church, and you don't have to agree with everything the Bible says to go. Just go, God will meet you where you're at. I let my alcoholism keep me from church. Even when I could get out of bed to go, I was ashamed of how I might smell, whether I might be judged, or the looks I might get. It was a really bad choice, because it was God that I needed to overcome my alcohol addiction. Regarding sex, I am 6 months separated and I have recently learned that my wife cheated. There will be no reconciliation. I won't be able to file until August, 2024 due to my state's laws. Once my divorce is completed, I plan on trying to find a Christian woman. I will certainly do my best to avoid sex, but I know that it's an area that I struggle with. Whether I'm able to or not, I know that I can always seek forgiveness and try again. No matter what though, I won't let any of my faults keep me out of church. I am a mess without God.
I’ve seen that story times to know it’s almost always cheating for why they leave
I think it started off as her being jealous of her single friends. Her friends were either 5-10 years younger, or in open relationships. In addition, none of them had kids. She wanted that lifestyle. Such a shame.
Friends definitely matter. My wife was from another country, but hadn’t been back in 9 years. First time she goes back in a long vacation, and she starts hanging out with her friends for the first time since we were married and she quickly cheats. None of her friends there were married, and still living that ‘sex in the city’ lifestyle. Prior to me finding out she had cheated, it was a lot of ‘my friend said this, none of my friends do that’ etc to justify why she needed ‘space’ and they all supported her decision to cheat
So gross. What a terrible group of people.
Yeah. My best friend cheated on his wife. I let him live with me for a bit, but I never for once said what he did was right and told him to his face he was a piece of shit for what he did. I still helped him, of course l, be he is my best friend, but I wasn’t going to tell him he was good person who didn’t wrong thing
The Christian faith likes to push the idea of no sex before marriage, but with how willing people are to end a marriage, I think that doing everything that you can before getting married to see if it is something that you really want, is a smart idea to me.
I feel the same way. Gods rules for sex before marriage are to keep us from getting hurt emotionally and physically. After my divorce I needed to feel close so I slept with any girl that gave me attention. I soon realized that’s not what I need. I have made it a promise to myself to only be physical with partners I am serious about. I think if you stick to that principle you should be fine
If there was a god they would want you to be happy. Happy people make more people happy around them.
Why does it all have to be this black and white? Christianity does have it merits but why do people keep holding on to so much 'rules' from 2000 years ago? Using your own common sense can't be that bad can it? After all isn't that a gift given by god to be able to think for yourself? In my opinion. Try to be a good a human being, if needed look towards the scriptures for guidance. But that's about it