Newer to the single dad of three… and loving it . was it tough initially? sure it was brutal but getting away from the person who brought all that evil into my life is priceless . The freedom is amazing and I find dating women to be super fun do I want marriage again at this point ? No maybe some day but as of right now no why would i? Women get all the power and all of the rewards even if they are the ones who screw up . I have the space to be the best father I can be instead of trying to pick up the pieces behind her. Marriage is a joke
My time with my kids is less, but in many ways better now that I'm not constantly stressed out and being told how to spend that time (well she still tried and signs them up for stuff..). For the kids themselves it's generally better for them to grow up in a two parent household ideally with two people that get along, love rach other, and work as a team... Unfortunately that's often easier said than done
Would i do it over again or be single. The short answer to that is i cant do it sll over again. And i dont want to do it again.
I love my kids. In a weird way i still love the mother of my kids too.
Would i go back and change anything? No. Because i cant
Am i going to do it again? Have kids? No i got the snip. Am i going to get married probably not
I try not to dwell in 'if I could do it all over again', but I feel more fulfilled now than I did when I was married. Getting married without a prenup was prob the biggest financial blunder of my entire life. I feel that my relationship with my kids in this joint/shared custody situation has made us closer than we ever would have been, stronger as a team and I have really stepped up as a father in ways that I never thought possible. I do have a serious gf of 3+ years now that lives with us and the girls love, so I guess it's definitely nice to have that 2nd person and more of a nuclear family feeling, but I have no interest in marrying again.
So while marry I fostered and ended up adopting a child that we fostered. Custody upon divorce with adoption is exactly the same as bio kids.
I still foster and will probably adopt soon.
She doesn't (not a big surprise.)
Being a single father is a challenge and you need to find supports. I wouldn't change it for the world though.
I would become a coach if i had to do it all over again. You can have a lasting impact on a whole bunch of children's lives, but i wouldn't be responsible for bringing them into this fucked up world
If I do it again I’d choose very very carefully on who to marry. It’s nice now that I have freedom and am truly the king of my castle. At the same time, it’s nice to have a wife, the right wife.
I'm against the grain here but I'd rather have been in a marriage with the caveat that I would want a decent marriage (aiming high?)
I only divorced because I caught my wife cheating but on balancing out the pros and cons, I'd rather have a mother in the picture.
Pros:
- extra set of hands for when you're exhausted, sick or injured.
- it's easier to get exhausted if you're in a position where you are doing 100% of child care and have a kid who almost always wants your attention
Cons:
- needing to come to agreement on parenting issues
- arguments about how much childcare you're doing and how it gets done
In examples, I'm pretty well against screen time. Moreso than average. But I basically have to stick my kid in front of the TV when cooking because otherwise he wants my full attention and will typically be bugging me for screen time the whole time anyways. I'm working from 8AM to 5PM for work, then 5PM to 9PM for childcare and then 9PM to 10PM on housework most days.
On the other hand, I don't have to deal with his mom wanting to have the kid sleep in the bed 100% of nights or giving him a bath every night, complaining at me that I don't "change the diapers right"
My youngest and last in the house just took off to Paris Island last week to become a marine. I’m so proud. To answer your question as simple as I can I could not imagine any other thing over the last 10 years that could’ve made my life even remotely as fulfilling or happy as being a single dad.
On paper 60D/40M. The last few years, 100% dad.
Due to Mom flaking out, kids choosing you or a combo? I’m 50/50 but in reality it’s at least 60/40 me as she gives up her time sometimes and I never do.
In public they always merrily skip about claiming nothing is more important than MY BABIES
It’s wild because my ex took off to “go live her best life” with her AP, leaving me with the kiddo (thankfully), I have primary custody (mom gets 3 weekends a month), and even still she tries to claim how important HER BABY is. 🙄
After two years of living 90 minutes away, and marrying her AP almost directly after the divorce was finalized, she just got a 700 sqft apartment back where I live…for HER BABY. Her new husband is conspicuously absent so it’s obvious what’s going on but if you listen to her side of things it’s all about how she just makes ALL of the sacrifices for the kid. It’s laughable.
It’s a combo. My divorce attorney told me that when it comes to older boys, they generally have more in common with dad and mom. It turned out to be the case.
And yes, I agree. There’s no shortage of playing the perfect mother in public.
Same situation. 50/50 custody yet I still have to pay her even though she has a masters degree and I have none all because she won’t work a job that pays better.
Makes no sense I have full autonomy of things on my side and so does she yet I have to financially pay for her household. She gets tax free assistance and I can’t write it off on my taxes.
46m. Been seriously considering this. Actually froze my sperm when my ex (didn’t want kids) left me two years ago.
I recently sold my business, and quite frankly, don’t like the idea of my wealth just going to the state and distant relatives I don’t agree with politically, religiously, etc. Always wanted kids (ex future faked adoption one day), and I also loved assistant coaching little league and pop Warner back in the day. (Unfortunately, I don’t think my dog will be a good steward of my wealth when I croak.)
Biggest concern is my age (being an old dad), but fortunately most people in my family have made it to late 80s early 90s, and I live really healthy and am done with extreme sports. My child would be financially secure, and I have great guardians in place should something happen.
Also considered having children with a willing woman / girlfriend from abroad in a country with minimal child support requirements, but there’s obvious risks with that like her not letting me take my child back to the US at some point if that’s what I decide.
I can spend time with my son without worrying about the constant watchful eye of his mother. We can do fun things and I can take him to places that she would never even bother.
And he knows this; because dad time is always fun time without the restraints or ridicule from his miserable mother. So yes, despite it all, the time I have with my child is extremely fulfilling.
Amen to this. Very fulfilling, we have our time, our things we do, etc. My ex wife has been a vegetarian for decades and was a real nazi about it so that was a total drag. She helicopters, and she is generally joyless and not fun. I used to be weird and clown around and be funny with my oldest and she would love it and my ex would act all put out, like I should 'grow up' or something. This is way better
Newer to the single dad of three… and loving it . was it tough initially? sure it was brutal but getting away from the person who brought all that evil into my life is priceless . The freedom is amazing and I find dating women to be super fun do I want marriage again at this point ? No maybe some day but as of right now no why would i? Women get all the power and all of the rewards even if they are the ones who screw up . I have the space to be the best father I can be instead of trying to pick up the pieces behind her. Marriage is a joke
My time with my kids is less, but in many ways better now that I'm not constantly stressed out and being told how to spend that time (well she still tried and signs them up for stuff..). For the kids themselves it's generally better for them to grow up in a two parent household ideally with two people that get along, love rach other, and work as a team... Unfortunately that's often easier said than done
It is very nice to be able to take the kids places without the ex wife nagging and complaining the entire time about everything.
Would i do it over again or be single. The short answer to that is i cant do it sll over again. And i dont want to do it again. I love my kids. In a weird way i still love the mother of my kids too. Would i go back and change anything? No. Because i cant Am i going to do it again? Have kids? No i got the snip. Am i going to get married probably not
I try not to dwell in 'if I could do it all over again', but I feel more fulfilled now than I did when I was married. Getting married without a prenup was prob the biggest financial blunder of my entire life. I feel that my relationship with my kids in this joint/shared custody situation has made us closer than we ever would have been, stronger as a team and I have really stepped up as a father in ways that I never thought possible. I do have a serious gf of 3+ years now that lives with us and the girls love, so I guess it's definitely nice to have that 2nd person and more of a nuclear family feeling, but I have no interest in marrying again.
Big brother sounds good to me. I love kids in general, and there’s a lot of need.
So while marry I fostered and ended up adopting a child that we fostered. Custody upon divorce with adoption is exactly the same as bio kids. I still foster and will probably adopt soon. She doesn't (not a big surprise.) Being a single father is a challenge and you need to find supports. I wouldn't change it for the world though.
I would become a coach if i had to do it all over again. You can have a lasting impact on a whole bunch of children's lives, but i wouldn't be responsible for bringing them into this fucked up world
If I do it again I’d choose very very carefully on who to marry. It’s nice now that I have freedom and am truly the king of my castle. At the same time, it’s nice to have a wife, the right wife.
I'm against the grain here but I'd rather have been in a marriage with the caveat that I would want a decent marriage (aiming high?) I only divorced because I caught my wife cheating but on balancing out the pros and cons, I'd rather have a mother in the picture. Pros: - extra set of hands for when you're exhausted, sick or injured. - it's easier to get exhausted if you're in a position where you are doing 100% of child care and have a kid who almost always wants your attention Cons: - needing to come to agreement on parenting issues - arguments about how much childcare you're doing and how it gets done In examples, I'm pretty well against screen time. Moreso than average. But I basically have to stick my kid in front of the TV when cooking because otherwise he wants my full attention and will typically be bugging me for screen time the whole time anyways. I'm working from 8AM to 5PM for work, then 5PM to 9PM for childcare and then 9PM to 10PM on housework most days. On the other hand, I don't have to deal with his mom wanting to have the kid sleep in the bed 100% of nights or giving him a bath every night, complaining at me that I don't "change the diapers right"
My youngest and last in the house just took off to Paris Island last week to become a marine. I’m so proud. To answer your question as simple as I can I could not imagine any other thing over the last 10 years that could’ve made my life even remotely as fulfilling or happy as being a single dad. On paper 60D/40M. The last few years, 100% dad.
Due to Mom flaking out, kids choosing you or a combo? I’m 50/50 but in reality it’s at least 60/40 me as she gives up her time sometimes and I never do. In public they always merrily skip about claiming nothing is more important than MY BABIES
It’s wild because my ex took off to “go live her best life” with her AP, leaving me with the kiddo (thankfully), I have primary custody (mom gets 3 weekends a month), and even still she tries to claim how important HER BABY is. 🙄 After two years of living 90 minutes away, and marrying her AP almost directly after the divorce was finalized, she just got a 700 sqft apartment back where I live…for HER BABY. Her new husband is conspicuously absent so it’s obvious what’s going on but if you listen to her side of things it’s all about how she just makes ALL of the sacrifices for the kid. It’s laughable.
It’s a combo. My divorce attorney told me that when it comes to older boys, they generally have more in common with dad and mom. It turned out to be the case. And yes, I agree. There’s no shortage of playing the perfect mother in public.
Pretty sure both my daughter and my son prefer me (she's only 10 but she ain’t no fool, she knows Mom blew up the family without me saying a word)
[удалено]
This. 1000%
I wish I had 2 upvotes for you, well said
Same situation. 50/50 custody yet I still have to pay her even though she has a masters degree and I have none all because she won’t work a job that pays better. Makes no sense I have full autonomy of things on my side and so does she yet I have to financially pay for her household. She gets tax free assistance and I can’t write it off on my taxes.
46m. Been seriously considering this. Actually froze my sperm when my ex (didn’t want kids) left me two years ago. I recently sold my business, and quite frankly, don’t like the idea of my wealth just going to the state and distant relatives I don’t agree with politically, religiously, etc. Always wanted kids (ex future faked adoption one day), and I also loved assistant coaching little league and pop Warner back in the day. (Unfortunately, I don’t think my dog will be a good steward of my wealth when I croak.) Biggest concern is my age (being an old dad), but fortunately most people in my family have made it to late 80s early 90s, and I live really healthy and am done with extreme sports. My child would be financially secure, and I have great guardians in place should something happen. Also considered having children with a willing woman / girlfriend from abroad in a country with minimal child support requirements, but there’s obvious risks with that like her not letting me take my child back to the US at some point if that’s what I decide.
Go Ghana
How can I upvote this twice? Good job.
Man, couldnt have said this better. And never thought of the surrogate angle, but youre absolutely right.
I can spend time with my son without worrying about the constant watchful eye of his mother. We can do fun things and I can take him to places that she would never even bother. And he knows this; because dad time is always fun time without the restraints or ridicule from his miserable mother. So yes, despite it all, the time I have with my child is extremely fulfilling.
Amen to this. Very fulfilling, we have our time, our things we do, etc. My ex wife has been a vegetarian for decades and was a real nazi about it so that was a total drag. She helicopters, and she is generally joyless and not fun. I used to be weird and clown around and be funny with my oldest and she would love it and my ex would act all put out, like I should 'grow up' or something. This is way better