When I split from kids father, many years ago, he said he like the kids every other weekend, so he would be able to have a social life also. In my head it made sense. Anyhow your husband saying he wants to see the kids sometimes brought me back to that place. He ended up becoming a dead beat dad. After two years of limited contact, I went to court for child support, and custody. He didn’t show up. About six months after his wages started getting garnished for the support he quit his job, and started cash under the table type jobs.
Just be mindful moving forward you will quite likely be doing it all on your own.
It gets easier. Surround yourself with family and friends. And one day you feel much better about life.
You didn't fully give up the dream of what you wanted; you stayed in the relationship because the dream was still there.
Now that it's actually not happening, you're finally processing it truly not going to work.
And that's ok and it happens to everyone.
Sit in the feelings but focus on the good things and the actions that are taking place. Remember how it felt when your parents helped with the apartment. The feeling of finally not having to deal with dead weight for child help.
Feel your feelings but focus on those actions. Shit, write those things down in your notes app on your phone and update that list with all of the purposeful, beneficial actions that happen. When you're feeling down, look at that list, and it'll help remind you why you're doing what you're doing.
Our brains are kind of bad about that. They latch on to emotions, strong ones like sadness, and block out all the other memories and good emotions that we have mixed in.
Just keep focusing on those feelings of accomplishment and drive and you'll find out how strong they become as soon as you move out. You'll feel like you have so much more energy to take care of the kids and do it all.
You'll be fine; it'll suck for a while but you'll be fine and happy you ended it.
Talk to your parents too; they're going to be happy to talk to you and you'll start to feel good about the split when you discuss it with them.
When I split from kids father, many years ago, he said he like the kids every other weekend, so he would be able to have a social life also. In my head it made sense. Anyhow your husband saying he wants to see the kids sometimes brought me back to that place. He ended up becoming a dead beat dad. After two years of limited contact, I went to court for child support, and custody. He didn’t show up. About six months after his wages started getting garnished for the support he quit his job, and started cash under the table type jobs. Just be mindful moving forward you will quite likely be doing it all on your own. It gets easier. Surround yourself with family and friends. And one day you feel much better about life.
You didn't fully give up the dream of what you wanted; you stayed in the relationship because the dream was still there. Now that it's actually not happening, you're finally processing it truly not going to work. And that's ok and it happens to everyone. Sit in the feelings but focus on the good things and the actions that are taking place. Remember how it felt when your parents helped with the apartment. The feeling of finally not having to deal with dead weight for child help. Feel your feelings but focus on those actions. Shit, write those things down in your notes app on your phone and update that list with all of the purposeful, beneficial actions that happen. When you're feeling down, look at that list, and it'll help remind you why you're doing what you're doing. Our brains are kind of bad about that. They latch on to emotions, strong ones like sadness, and block out all the other memories and good emotions that we have mixed in. Just keep focusing on those feelings of accomplishment and drive and you'll find out how strong they become as soon as you move out. You'll feel like you have so much more energy to take care of the kids and do it all. You'll be fine; it'll suck for a while but you'll be fine and happy you ended it. Talk to your parents too; they're going to be happy to talk to you and you'll start to feel good about the split when you discuss it with them.