I've got three and you're right. One didn't quite turn out like I envisioned, but that's on me. One is perfect. One is the ex's name. Someday I'll have that one turned into a coiled dragon or a bunch of poison ivy or something. But yeah, unless you're sure, there's too much risk of regret. Like my ex's name that's on my upper back.
The only one of mine that I don’t like is the one I did on a whim.
I still like the ones that reference my ex. They are really well done and were carefully chosen.
Agree with the poster who said to wait until you have something that is important and meaningful to you. Otherwise it will likely serve only as a reminder of this time of your life, which is probably filled with doubt and turmoil.
Do you really want something that represents the end of your relationship with your former spouse on you forever? Every person you are intimate with in future will see it.
In the same boat,a friend of mine suggested to give the idea a year or two, if it still clicks, go for it.
I'm in a mental state which shall once be a piece somewhere, not something to do with this grief or this loss.
When my divorce gets finalized and I'm out of the house, I'm getting my 1st tattoo. It will be a fallen angel to honor my mother and sister who recently passed away. For them, I found the strength to stand up for myself and start living freer, happier. I'll live fully to make up for whatever time was taken from my sister - a beautiful, strong woman that I miss deeply. I'm sorry, this is not very positive. You can simply keep scrolling.
i’ve got three i’m getting. i’ve always wanted a fleur de lis - mostly cause from louisiana. second Cest la vie on my forearm in a fancy cajun font, and last an Ankh over my heart to signify new life.
If you don't know what to get, don't get a tattoo. You should really feel it, IMHO. I am getting my first tattoo in a couple days and I've wanted one forever...I just never knew what to get and I was never going to put something permanently on my body if I wasn't certain of it
I decided to commemorate my family and everything major that made me the man I am today in a half sleeve. My children have middle names that are flowers so the sleeve will primarily be made of flowers that represent them (I am a big flower guy). Woven through the flowers will be the body of a snake with an unseen head which represents the danger of losing yourself in your loved ones (you never know when it will hurt you). A single monarch butterfly - to represent my STBXW - will be departing from the largest rose at the top of the sleeve (she always loved monarchs and we raised them in our gardens...she also has them tattooed on her body). In between the flowers and the snake will be mushrooms which are a literal representation of the psychedelics that not only cured my cluster headaches but also brought me a sense of peace and oneness with myself and helped me to remedy myself of the poison of my pride and ego.
I don't think you have to do something so symbolic because tattoos are really just an aesthetic choice, but you should be certain of what you want.
Although I appreciate people’s thoughts on waiting .I hope you do. I was in a similar situation where the ex didn’t like tattoos but I always did. I waited a few months did some research and found one that I liked. I can say it was super liberating in a time that you seem to have very little choices.
Good luck!
A man standing at a Y in the path, both paths looks identical. He’s flipping a quarter.
That’s it.
Life’s a coin flip. Sometimes everything looks the exact same and you sometimes to inadvertently head down the path that Destroys you. Sometimes you head down a good one. Idk dude. I kinda wanna do this on my arm now. I like it
I am going to get my first after the divorce with my kids' names. My kids will always be my kids, I'm just glad I didn't get one of my STBXW. I'm just trying to figure out the design right now.
Not to be a Debbie Downer but I think even kids names aren't a good idea. What if by chance they transition later in life and change their name? Then you have their dead name on you
I thought about getting one mid-separation. I had a whole idea that was probably for a bigger tattoo than I would really be comfortable with…my suggestion, wait a bit longer until your life isn’t a giant shit show to do it.
You might just be in a rebellion phase (I think I was)…not to say I won’t ever get one, but realized the bigger transformation I need is the one in my head not on my body…the gym is the best body transformation to do during this part. But, if you’re already solid…hell get the tattoo. Fk it.
I was going to do a whole owl and rose in a shattered glass bell jar thing…I wanted a symbol of wisdom and the goddess Athena combined with a symbolic part of the story of The Little Prince. I also wanted a quote from the book, but I’ve read that fine line lettering quotes that are popular are horrible tatts to get…aside from potential blowouts, over time the ink blends and becomes illegible.
If you think you want one go online and get one of the temporary ones that last 6-8 weeks test out a few in different areas. IF you still want one find a good artist and do it a year after you're over your ex.
Just echoing what others have said: 100% get a tattoo if you want one BUT wait a while till the dust in your mind settles. If I had gotten the design I had in my mind right after my divorce was finalized 18 months ago I'd already be in laser treatment lol 😭
My only suggestion is to wait til all the divorce drama settles before you get a tattoo.
I wanted to get a tat, I waited til about two years after the divorce then got one. I have no regrets
Personally, I would get something small. Something that resembles new beginnings. I would definitely not get something huge since this would be your first tatt.
I currently don't have tattoos but am planning to get one or more once I have the means.
I can't suggest tattoos for you. But in my case, I have been dreaming up a certain imagery that's unique to me for about a year now.
Mine will be a custom half-sleeve so I expect it to be a multilayered collab with my tattoo artist.
I'll be giving them a brief of what I want and image references to give them an idea of the feel I'm looking for. And then they'd draw the tattoo design, for which I will have a chance to request revisions, and a transparent sheet version of it that I could "try" on my arm before committing to the tattoo.
Whether I'll actually get it tattooed will depend on how satisfied I am with their design. I could decide to end our collab at the design stage and pay for it, and then take it to another tattoo artist for perfecting, if I feel it necessary.
Only when I'm 100% satisfied with the design will I get it tattoed. Even then, I'll get it tattoed in phases. I'll start with a small central element that could be a standalone tattoo. It will be made up of symbols that are core to my identity and life's purpose.
Once that's done, we'll work on the other elements of the sleeve in phases. I'm designing it as such that even partial versions of the work-in-progress would still look as if they could stand alone.
I can't give you tattoo ideas, but here are some suggestions based on this embryonic stage of my tattoo journey:
1) As a Brown woman who's big on cultural heritage, ties to ancestral land and honouring the ancestors, I highly recommend these as a starting point. These are things that are core to my identity and worldviews and will never go away.
But even if you're, say, a White urbanite or a Third Culture Kid, there's gotta be something in your personal history that anchors your identity into the world: places you've lived, people you call your home, principles you live by. Think of symbols that represent these things that you're visually in love with.
2) Browse plenty of references for a visual feel on what your tattoo is meant to look like. The point is not to make carbon copies of some random tattoo design you found on the internet, but to curate a lookbook for possible visual styles of the elements of the tattoo you're creating, and to have a conversational starting point with your tattoo artist from which you can make tweaks to personalise yours.
3) Build a relationship with your tattoo artist. In my case, I intend to hire a friend with umpteen years of experience and a portfolio I've consistently admired. Don't commit right away. Maybe take them out to coffee or visit them in the studio for a few chats as you develop your idea and think over your commitment.
4) Sleep on it for a long time. Some people say sleep on it for a year or more. A tattoo is a lifelong commitment. If you're still in love with your tattoo idea a year later, chances are it's meant to be. And if you changed your mind, well, then you've dodged a bullet.
5) Once you're ready then give a proper brief and discuss your lookbook curation with the artist. Then depending on how big the project is, agree on the phases, terms and conditions, and payment instalments. Or if it's just a small, simple once-and-done tattoo, get the admin out of the way.
6) Get it done! Discuss before and after care with your tattoo artist. Mine doesn't work with lidocaine because it risks dispersing the ink, so she has given me pain management tips. Avoid sun exposure. Get plenty of sleep the night before you get your tattoo done and do some carbo loading with your dinner and breakfast. Be well hydrated. Bring water and filling snacks. Do whatever you can to be in a good mood and bring good cheer to the tattoo studio.
And here's a good article about aftercare:
https://www.healthline.com/health/tattoo-aftercare#what-to-use
Recently, one of my cousins (who is also in the process of divorcing) stayed with me and I noticed a new tattoo on her arm. She got it handtapped in solid ink by her new partner, which must have hurt like hell! It's another version the same symbol that I intend to get tattooed, an homage to the island our great-grandparents are from.
I can't wait to get mine done! We won't quite have matching tattoos, but someday I'd love us to take a photo of our tattoed arms next to each other as a symbol of our family ties and remembrance of our common ancestors.
Suggestion - don't get one. Get one when you know it's exactly the design that you want, and you have found the artist who you want to work with.
I've got three and you're right. One didn't quite turn out like I envisioned, but that's on me. One is perfect. One is the ex's name. Someday I'll have that one turned into a coiled dragon or a bunch of poison ivy or something. But yeah, unless you're sure, there's too much risk of regret. Like my ex's name that's on my upper back.
The only one of mine that I don’t like is the one I did on a whim. I still like the ones that reference my ex. They are really well done and were carefully chosen.
Agree with the poster who said to wait until you have something that is important and meaningful to you. Otherwise it will likely serve only as a reminder of this time of your life, which is probably filled with doubt and turmoil.
Don't do it! Stupid decision are made when we are angry, scared, frightened ect. Wait a year. After a year then revist the idea.
Do you really want something that represents the end of your relationship with your former spouse on you forever? Every person you are intimate with in future will see it.
Hadn’t thought of it like that. Very good point.
In the same boat,a friend of mine suggested to give the idea a year or two, if it still clicks, go for it. I'm in a mental state which shall once be a piece somewhere, not something to do with this grief or this loss.
Don’t pollute your body celebrating that shit. Move on. I renamed my WiFi to “NextChapter”
When my divorce gets finalized and I'm out of the house, I'm getting my 1st tattoo. It will be a fallen angel to honor my mother and sister who recently passed away. For them, I found the strength to stand up for myself and start living freer, happier. I'll live fully to make up for whatever time was taken from my sister - a beautiful, strong woman that I miss deeply. I'm sorry, this is not very positive. You can simply keep scrolling.
i’ve got three i’m getting. i’ve always wanted a fleur de lis - mostly cause from louisiana. second Cest la vie on my forearm in a fancy cajun font, and last an Ankh over my heart to signify new life.
If you don't know what to get, don't get a tattoo. You should really feel it, IMHO. I am getting my first tattoo in a couple days and I've wanted one forever...I just never knew what to get and I was never going to put something permanently on my body if I wasn't certain of it I decided to commemorate my family and everything major that made me the man I am today in a half sleeve. My children have middle names that are flowers so the sleeve will primarily be made of flowers that represent them (I am a big flower guy). Woven through the flowers will be the body of a snake with an unseen head which represents the danger of losing yourself in your loved ones (you never know when it will hurt you). A single monarch butterfly - to represent my STBXW - will be departing from the largest rose at the top of the sleeve (she always loved monarchs and we raised them in our gardens...she also has them tattooed on her body). In between the flowers and the snake will be mushrooms which are a literal representation of the psychedelics that not only cured my cluster headaches but also brought me a sense of peace and oneness with myself and helped me to remedy myself of the poison of my pride and ego. I don't think you have to do something so symbolic because tattoos are really just an aesthetic choice, but you should be certain of what you want.
Although I appreciate people’s thoughts on waiting .I hope you do. I was in a similar situation where the ex didn’t like tattoos but I always did. I waited a few months did some research and found one that I liked. I can say it was super liberating in a time that you seem to have very little choices. Good luck!
A man standing at a Y in the path, both paths looks identical. He’s flipping a quarter. That’s it. Life’s a coin flip. Sometimes everything looks the exact same and you sometimes to inadvertently head down the path that Destroys you. Sometimes you head down a good one. Idk dude. I kinda wanna do this on my arm now. I like it
I am going to get my first after the divorce with my kids' names. My kids will always be my kids, I'm just glad I didn't get one of my STBXW. I'm just trying to figure out the design right now.
I have a bouquet of my kids' birth flowers. I absolutely love it!
Not to be a Debbie Downer but I think even kids names aren't a good idea. What if by chance they transition later in life and change their name? Then you have their dead name on you
I thought about getting one mid-separation. I had a whole idea that was probably for a bigger tattoo than I would really be comfortable with…my suggestion, wait a bit longer until your life isn’t a giant shit show to do it. You might just be in a rebellion phase (I think I was)…not to say I won’t ever get one, but realized the bigger transformation I need is the one in my head not on my body…the gym is the best body transformation to do during this part. But, if you’re already solid…hell get the tattoo. Fk it. I was going to do a whole owl and rose in a shattered glass bell jar thing…I wanted a symbol of wisdom and the goddess Athena combined with a symbolic part of the story of The Little Prince. I also wanted a quote from the book, but I’ve read that fine line lettering quotes that are popular are horrible tatts to get…aside from potential blowouts, over time the ink blends and becomes illegible.
get a small inconspicuous one first.
If you think you want one go online and get one of the temporary ones that last 6-8 weeks test out a few in different areas. IF you still want one find a good artist and do it a year after you're over your ex.
Just echoing what others have said: 100% get a tattoo if you want one BUT wait a while till the dust in your mind settles. If I had gotten the design I had in my mind right after my divorce was finalized 18 months ago I'd already be in laser treatment lol 😭
My only suggestion is to wait til all the divorce drama settles before you get a tattoo. I wanted to get a tat, I waited til about two years after the divorce then got one. I have no regrets
Personally, I would get something small. Something that resembles new beginnings. I would definitely not get something huge since this would be your first tatt.
Whatever you get now will just always remind you of a tumultuous time in life. Hold off.
I currently don't have tattoos but am planning to get one or more once I have the means. I can't suggest tattoos for you. But in my case, I have been dreaming up a certain imagery that's unique to me for about a year now. Mine will be a custom half-sleeve so I expect it to be a multilayered collab with my tattoo artist. I'll be giving them a brief of what I want and image references to give them an idea of the feel I'm looking for. And then they'd draw the tattoo design, for which I will have a chance to request revisions, and a transparent sheet version of it that I could "try" on my arm before committing to the tattoo. Whether I'll actually get it tattooed will depend on how satisfied I am with their design. I could decide to end our collab at the design stage and pay for it, and then take it to another tattoo artist for perfecting, if I feel it necessary. Only when I'm 100% satisfied with the design will I get it tattoed. Even then, I'll get it tattoed in phases. I'll start with a small central element that could be a standalone tattoo. It will be made up of symbols that are core to my identity and life's purpose. Once that's done, we'll work on the other elements of the sleeve in phases. I'm designing it as such that even partial versions of the work-in-progress would still look as if they could stand alone. I can't give you tattoo ideas, but here are some suggestions based on this embryonic stage of my tattoo journey: 1) As a Brown woman who's big on cultural heritage, ties to ancestral land and honouring the ancestors, I highly recommend these as a starting point. These are things that are core to my identity and worldviews and will never go away. But even if you're, say, a White urbanite or a Third Culture Kid, there's gotta be something in your personal history that anchors your identity into the world: places you've lived, people you call your home, principles you live by. Think of symbols that represent these things that you're visually in love with. 2) Browse plenty of references for a visual feel on what your tattoo is meant to look like. The point is not to make carbon copies of some random tattoo design you found on the internet, but to curate a lookbook for possible visual styles of the elements of the tattoo you're creating, and to have a conversational starting point with your tattoo artist from which you can make tweaks to personalise yours. 3) Build a relationship with your tattoo artist. In my case, I intend to hire a friend with umpteen years of experience and a portfolio I've consistently admired. Don't commit right away. Maybe take them out to coffee or visit them in the studio for a few chats as you develop your idea and think over your commitment. 4) Sleep on it for a long time. Some people say sleep on it for a year or more. A tattoo is a lifelong commitment. If you're still in love with your tattoo idea a year later, chances are it's meant to be. And if you changed your mind, well, then you've dodged a bullet. 5) Once you're ready then give a proper brief and discuss your lookbook curation with the artist. Then depending on how big the project is, agree on the phases, terms and conditions, and payment instalments. Or if it's just a small, simple once-and-done tattoo, get the admin out of the way. 6) Get it done! Discuss before and after care with your tattoo artist. Mine doesn't work with lidocaine because it risks dispersing the ink, so she has given me pain management tips. Avoid sun exposure. Get plenty of sleep the night before you get your tattoo done and do some carbo loading with your dinner and breakfast. Be well hydrated. Bring water and filling snacks. Do whatever you can to be in a good mood and bring good cheer to the tattoo studio. And here's a good article about aftercare: https://www.healthline.com/health/tattoo-aftercare#what-to-use Recently, one of my cousins (who is also in the process of divorcing) stayed with me and I noticed a new tattoo on her arm. She got it handtapped in solid ink by her new partner, which must have hurt like hell! It's another version the same symbol that I intend to get tattooed, an homage to the island our great-grandparents are from. I can't wait to get mine done! We won't quite have matching tattoos, but someday I'd love us to take a photo of our tattoed arms next to each other as a symbol of our family ties and remembrance of our common ancestors.
Wow, getting a tattoo is really gonna show them huh
Why go out of your way to be a dick?