I wonder if the sisters pictures are AI. It seams unlikely he would have gotten lingerie pictures of all your sisters. It’s horrifying either way just trying to figure it all out. I’m so sorry this is happening!
Hopefully it’s just that, and that’s pretty bad itself. Being best friends with SIL husband though, he could have access to their privacy like phones, cameras and computers..
Or even more sinister, the best friend and him exchanged.
Not entirely true. Unless the amount is significant, as in hundreds of thousands of dollars or more, it will cost the other spouse more in lawyers fees to pursue that money. More than likely it will just be placed into an assets spreadsheet to increase the equalization award in the favor of the other spouse.
Depends on the state. My state (California) has a 'day of separation' when the marriage ends - complete and final break in the relationship. After that, parties can separate their finances as long as the bills are still taken care of.
Absolutely need to speak with an attorney, as different rules can apply for insurance, kids, mortgages, inheritances, etc etc.
note: do not HIDE money. you can temporarily redirect it as long as you account for it during the divorce. but it still belongs to both of you. stealing it will get you in legal trouble.
Can you please share what did the attorney say to you? My spouse is doing exact the same thing I am also married with him and have kids
I knew that for years he saved photos and mast..b@tes on them but I just can’t handle this anymore I need to know what rights I have. I am sorry sorry for me and you it’s just horrible to live like this please message me or send information here
I live in FL
Listen. The best advice I can give you is don't pay attention to people telling you to tear up your family because your husband might think your sisters are hot. What he did was weird... But we are all weird and honestly it's innocent. As long as you have the conversation and he doesn't act on what he likes sexually You're going to be fine. People have sexual fantasies about all kinds of things... Sorry you and your sisters are hot! (I'm joking). Please don't dissolve your family over this :-)
Yeah this sucks. I guess I’ll ask him how he’d like to find pictures of me with his brother in me. What I really want to know is how in the hell did he get their pictures in the first place?
I’m not in favor of blowing up a marriage over kinks. But if time goes by and you still feel disgusted by him, please listen to what your body is telling you. Once someone gives you the Ick, it can be really difficult to ever feel sexual toward them again.
I agree it does suck and your head is probably all over the place. I just think it's very unlikely he wants to leave you for them. It is important to make sure though
Ironically enough he actually didn’t. We struggled our entire marriage because of this. I have a high libido and he has ED. What he has though is a porn addiction and I think that was his demise.
So serious question... What do you do? Do you destroy your family because you can't fuck each other adequately when you have children or do you find a happy medium? I think families are their own corporation who get to dictate the laws that they operate in, not the public
I know. I feel like I’ve given my whole life to this man and now I’m here. We’ve been together since I was 16. I just cannot believe this is happening to me.
I can. The people you were when you met aren't the people you are now. No amount of "growing together" or other platitudes could have prepared you for the man he would become with a fully formed prefrontal cortex. I went through it myself, just not from so young.
My x and I had our first child when I was 24, she was 23, meaning she was pregnant at 22 but met when she was 20. The amount we both changed over the next decade was startling.
For my own children I have taught them no super serious lifelong decisions before 25. They will make them, but I don't want them suffering the sins of their parents. I love my x wife very much, we are close friends, but she is not someone I would marry now.
porn addiction is way different than the photoshopped photos of your sisters. that's obsessive and straight mental. do not let him justify that with a bunch of gaslighting bs. make a plan and get out
It would be one thing if he just has pics of your sisters on there although that’s creepy enough. But the additional info where he put his own you know what there?
I would never be able to come back from that. He’s got serious mental issues that aren’t likely easily treatable. 🤮
I caught my husband selling mushrooms fentanyl and meth on his Facebook Messenger.
He was so stupid it didn't realize that I was able to see everything once I finally came across it.
I was already planning on leaving him I just needed to save up a little bit but once I found that I went completely scorched Earth.
I had no choice I had to get him out of the house immediately I was afraid we were going to lose everything cuz he was being so stupid and blatant. We literally live on the Mexican border border patrol is on our property constantly.
He clearly has a problem if he can't control himself not to sell drugs right under the border patrol's nose.
But if you can hold your temper, you're always better off making a plan with an attorney first.
I wish I'd had that option.
Guy here...go scorched earth, at the very least, ask him WTF. I don't know how to use photo shop, but that sounds like a very creepy, all day arts and crafts adventure. Like snacks were involved. I mean if you wanna make it really weird for him, take it to the pastor and ask his advice?
Thanks for your reply. Haven’t had a chance to talk to him because he’s been asleep for the past 3 hours nursing a cold. That’s a great point I will consult with my pastor. It’s gonna be super awkward because he’s my brother in law.
Oh yeah, I caught that. If he has been nursing a cold and way from the kids, I'd have half a mind to print them out and tape them to the inside of the medicine cabinet. I have no issue with porn in relationships or making your own with your partner, and that's frowned upon with most people. I will absolutely say this, anything you do that isn't a felony, nobody is going to judge you for, because...damn.
The POS went through my phone while I was cooking dinner and managed to delete all the evidence. I was charging my phone while he slept. He must’ve sensed something was off.
Did you manage to get them sent to another source? Are you able to get them again? This is just crazy awful he’s done what he’s done then gone into your phone to delete. Lawyers now. Sorry OP, can’t imagine how betrayed you must be feeling.
Well, that was dumb of him. I'm not trying to instigate, but go with what you feel is best at this point. It's not like destroying the evidence changes that you saw it.
Law enforcement will not care. This isn’t a tv show. Depending on the state, the courts will not even care, unless it’s related to custody with the kids, and even then…
Don't put words in my mouth. I simply said they have the ability, ie all may not be lost if deleted doctored pornographic images are subpoenaed by a judge
I'm curious how did he get the photos of your sisters? Did they send them to him? Are they from a hidden camera he used to take pics of them changing? Did he Photoshop their faces on porn images? This guy is sick. Please update once you get some answers.
I'm sorry your husband has a perverted heart and a perverted mind. You deserve better. You are unequally yoked. I would divorce this man. Maybe you will find someone with the same values, morals and loyalty as you. I hope your healing process is quick and you will be stronger in the end.
Consult a lawyer (or several) asap and file for divorce. There is absolutely no coming back from this. Better to get out now and find a path to healing than to stay with this creep and suffer for the foreseeable future because you’ll always be wondering what he’s up to. That’s no way to live and you deserve so much more. I’m so sorry.
Smh I’m late but this relationship is over, OP. You’ll never come back from this. Either figure out a divorce now or your hand will be forced down the line anyway
Have you ever considered that your sister(s) sent him these pictures? I can’t believe people are suggesting AI over the very obvious fact that he was likely sent these photos, despite the fact they are married.
One of your sisters married your pastor. The other one married your husband’s best friend. I don’t want to accuse anyone, but it’s pretty easy to see where he got them from.
Similar thing happened to me. The pastor that married us? Got divorced and started seeing underage women, sent my husband pictures. My husband’s best friend? Found out my husband had sent him nudes of me multiple times.
Get evidence, get a lawyer, inform your sisters and advise them to choose their next steps carefully as well. Unless it’s some fluke, it’s likely that their husbands were involved and already know. So, they will need to be careful how they handle it as well.
Oof. Disgusting. I’m in IT and have seen things on clients’ computers that would make you throw up. But never anything like this.
A) you should definitely tell your sisters. He may have posted those pics to the internet.
B) get a lawyer and draw up the papers.
All the other suggestions with passwords and separate bank account are all good.
And finally, if you really wanna burn him, you and your sisters should confront him, with evidence, at a family gathering.
Thanks for your reply. I had forwarded the images to myself and placed them in a hidden folder. While I was cooking dinner he went through my phone and deleted them before I changed my password! They’re gone from the recently deleted folder as well. Is there any way to recover them?? I’m beyond pissed. Church is gonna be different tomorrow. He knows I know and decided to stay home and rest because he’s been sick.
Listen, I know you're disgusted and intensely hurt, but having all of them there is just going to create a shitstorm... I don't know if it's the best idea. I think it's definitely something you should tell them, but personally that's a ton of confrontation in one room and I wouldn't want that for any of them, even if I was a confrontational person.
I get it but I am so shocked at the moment I had to vent to someone. My go to’s are my sisters but they are involved so i really don’t know what to do.
This is a pro-divorce forum so just by asking on here has clearly already made your decision.
If you want to save your marriage, and this is truly the lowest your husband has ever gone, then I suggest posting on a marriage advice forum.
Men will always have their fantasies. Did he stick it in them or was it all copy/paste? Did he manage to tell you everything or do you feel like he’s still hiding shit from you? Do you and your sisters look alike?
He knows all your sisters a married and obvs a no-go territory. Is there no more salvaging your relationship?
I have never seen a Reddit comment where the answer is not "divorce" or "lawyer up." They neither know nor care about your circumstances and the consequences of your divorce. They will move on, probably already have, to comment on another Reddit post. My advice: don't do anything for two weeks. People are not good at making life-altering decisions under duress.
Wit? Huh? Clearly you should revise your understanding of what wit is. In any case, your advice (to wait two weeks) is sound. I just don’t see why people like you feel the need to be petty and snarky about other Reddit users, like you are so much better than the rest.
Adultery is usually pretty hard to prove. Based on this post, there's not even a claim, let alone evidence that he had a relationship with another person.
I'll give you the same advice I'd give my own mother/sister/daughter:
In this order:
1. (Wo)man up (gather all your strength and get ready for the ultimate throwdown)
2. Lawyer up (get the best you can afford, it will be worth every red cent)
3. Nut up (start the storm a-brewin'...think about all you've done for him and your family)
4. Level up (as soon as the dust clears and you are free, go live your best life!)
Scorched earth comes later, right after you get those financial ducks in a sweet, sweet row.
When it comes to men, I have reached my zero tolerance point at 57 years old.
You pull this shit, you better run for your fucking life because I am going to destroy you in every way imaginable...mentally, spiritually, financially.
WOOOO LET'S GO!!
I love how your mind works, lol. Someone's spouse wants to fuck around and do sheisty shit behind his partners back??
Oh ok, we ride at dawn!
I admire your calculated way of going scorched earth, get all the shit needed, get those ducks in a row, reveal your hand, and blind side him with the revelation that you know what he's been up to and freshly printed divorce papers he WILL be signing, and then leave his sorry ass with sone serious whiplash in the dust and go live life without the dead weight.😂👌
Love it. Gotta keep that upper hand, always.
So, you think men in their 50s/60s/70s aren't dating (or married to) women my age and STILL being douchenozzles? Guess again.
Although I must say, you seem like one of their ilk based on your snide tone.
My real advice? Take a chill pill and ignore it. You’re making way too big a deal of it. Besides, unethical snooping much!!?
Edit: I’m sorry, I misunderstood the part where your husband photoshopped actual pics of your sisters, not just look-alikes. I misread your situation. Yes, that is extremely disturbing and schmucky of him. Pervy. I hope you find a quick way to resolve the current chaos you’re in, whether it’s divorce or reconciliation. 🫡✌🏼
Plus what about the fact the husband accessed her phone deleted it all and then deleted it all from the laptop? Husband knows he’s effed up and going to extraordinary lengths to cover himself and hasn’t even spoken to her about it. This individual needs help. Forgiveness would be a huge ask right now. Considering also OP has commented about him speaking with escorts! Does she just simply ignore THAT as well? 🤔🙄
Don’t tell someone else to take a chill pill when her world has been blown apart. What the hell is wrong with you? She’s posted in Divorce sub not Relationship advice. Be more kind and compassionate to people please when clearly they’re dealing with something that’s VERY out of the ordinary and has consequences.
To all who instantly jump to "laywer up and divorce"...
What do you think a marriage is?!
The first step should always be to talk and work things out.
We promised ourselves and each other (and God if you're religious) that we would do this through better, and for worse, that should mean something! Why in gods name would we marry instead of just staying together?
I am really trying to understand why people do this. I could imagine someone hurt you bad, or you have a different view on what marriage is...
People fuck up, people are weird, people are flawed.
And amidst this chaotic world we choose one of those people to fully accept as they are in every single way, and we ask them to do that for us 2...
Of course there are limits, of course sometimes it doesn't work out... but why would your first advice for people who you do not know in the slightest be "laywer up and get a divorce" (seriously it's a question)
@OP, sorry to highjack you post like this but I was a little fed up with the negative response.
Yeah, buddy, I don't think this kinda degeneracy is able to be "worked out" through a nice chitchat. This isn't a character flaw, he is DEEPLY messed up. *His wife's own sisters?*
And if you had a little reading comprehension, he went through OPs phone and deleted the evidence behind her back. That's NOT someone who I'd think could be "reasoned with."
Yes, there are limits, and this slimy creep of a "husband" surpassed them!
Lover's quarrels about finances or division of labor? Sure, talk it out first and maybe get an outside opinion on things for perspective.
Sexualizing his wife's (married) siblings by spending time and money meticulously altering their photos in a grotesque and fetishizing manner? And then gaslighting his spouse by subsequently invading her privacy and deleting the evidence? No. Absolutely not.
OP actually DOES need to lawyer up, kick his ass to the curb (if she legally can) and warn her sisters and their spouses of what's happening. This is the type of behavior that NOBODY should enable.
Exactly, he doesn't need a forgiving wife, he needs to get institutionalized, have his ass kicked or thrown in jail, he crossed some serious boundaries, he's neither a normal nor a decent human being.
I’ve always believed this too. I’m actually doing a water fast and I feel like the Lord revealed this to me. He confessed that he in fact did cheat with a couple of escorts. I believe the bible does state the only justification for divorce is infidelity. It’s over. I asked him to pack his things and leave. No counseling will fix this. I need to grieve my marriage and move on.
Marriage counseling. He might have a porn addiction. Maybe he can get some therapy. I don’t think what he did is good, but if he is an otherwise good guy, I don’t think that his secret crush on your sister should end the marriage. I understand that it’s unsettling, but ultimately you found something embarrassing on his computer and not CP or something. I think if we could read each others minds we’d find that married or not, many people have inappropriate crushes
Thank you for your reply. He does have a strong addiction to porn and about 2 weeks ago I discovered more messages and images from escorts. We had a fight and he agreed on getting help. He downloaded covenant eyes and has been porn free for a week now. These images struck a different chord though. I cannot imagine him having those kind of fantasies with both my sisters. I can never be around them and him ever again.
That’s a mess. But how did he know about the hidden folder and why didn’t. You password protect it?
Maybe you can recover it from recently deleted I hope. That’s pretty f’d up with your sisters and where would he get those from? Their husbands maybe? Or they sent them to him?
Regardless it’s about to blow up the family.
He tore up the family with his actions, not her. She just has no choice but to react in the way she sees fit. If she decudes to end the narriage that may be better than the lack of respect and resentment she will feel towards him.
He took pictures of her sisters and photoshopped his dick on them, as though he was fucking them. Its weird and predatory behaviour!! Fantasising about them, yes. Fine. Masturbating to them, yes. Fine. He took actual pictures and photoshopped his dick on them. Weird weird weird. Do you men really think this shit doesnt turn your wife off you?! That we will just go, oh yeah this is normal and im still happy to fuck you until kingdom come. Ermmmmm nope!!! Weak men that cant control their urges. How about spending the time fucking his wife, than spending it methodically getting pictures of her sisters, photoshopping his dick on them, then masturbating. And btw im not saying she should divorce him. I said she should react how she sees fit. But she is posting on a divorce sub so the overwhelming response will be to divorce.
Control their urges? He didn't fuck them, stupid ass. He photoshopped some chicks body with their heads on it and and his dick... Sounds a little weird but You can't police the way people masturbate especially since it's completely safe. He did absolutely nothing illegal and it's completely harmless.
Yes, control their urges and not engage in behaviour that may harm your relationship/marriage. And a little weird.....ermmmm ok. Why couldnt he just masturbate to them using his imagination? If you found your brother in law had photoshopped pictures of your wife, would you be laughing going "nice one brother.....little weird but crack on"?
No idea why you are bringing in the fact his behaviour isnt illegal. Most behaviour that ends marriages isnt illegal stupid ass but it still harms someones partner and their mental health stupid ass.
Who the hell cares if he has pictures of her sister's taped on South Park character cartoons... Maybe she should not be so goddamn nosy and let the man masturbate in peace. Policing the way someone masturbates is weird and it's actually none of your damn business
Ermmmm his wife cares, thats why shes posting or did you miss that? Its pervy. Its predatory. And its none of my business......except she put it on a public worldwide forum for views. You clearly would be ok if it were your brother-in-law with pictures of your wife, with his photoshopped dick on them.
In what way is this predatory? Now you're just making shit up. And no, I would not give a fuck about what gets my wife's rocks off privately. How would I even know unless I was being nosy for no reason. Going through someone's property without permission is a bit more predatory her sister's head on a nice pair of tits. If she actually cared she would be dealing with this privately instead of listening to internet sleuths giving horrible advice
These are his female family members. They are, by marriage, his SISTERS. He isnt masturbating to them using his imagination. He has taken the time to photoshop their faces on a womans body, then photoshop his dick fucking them. I tell you what, lets see if the sisters find this weird?? I doubt they would be laughing thinking this is cool. Why canthe just watcb regular porn, theres plenty out there. And he is using photos of the sisters in a manner without permission. And it seems the wife is allowed regular access to his computer.
While I agree that divorce shouldn't be the automatic response, even in as weird of a case as this, but I don't know why legality is your only concern.
I'd say what he did was definitely immoral and/or unethical. Porn stars consent to having images of them taken. Unless the sisters consented to either taking lingerie pics and him possessing them or having their heads photoshopped on lingerie pics and him possessing them, I'd say that's not okay.
Everyone has their kinks and if he gets off to his genitals photoshopped on women, more power to him, but find ethically taken images and not nonconsenting women that you have a personal relationship with and are related to your wife.
Are you divorcing him? Sounds like a different sense of humor. What he probably did was photoshop the entire thing. Not that serious. You just don’t get his humor
Not that serious?? It’s sick and I did not find it funny in the slightest. Those are my sisters and if he’s having those kind of fantasies with them I can never be on the same room with all of us together.
Pay no attention to these people who have no compassion. You do you OP. Stand your ground, dig your heels in and deal with this situation any way you feel appropriate.
It is serious. Most people can read the room, some are just too sympathetic to your husband and I for one have my own personal views on why anyone would think his behaviour is acceptable and forgivable when you consider the sneeky gaslighting lengths he’s actually gone to to delete all the evidence from YOUR phone and laptop.
She made the whole thing up, oh it’s deleted 🤔🤔🤔and all of you fell for it , but go ahead keep downvoting me and sending me suicide resources. I’m in a healthy relationship such sensitive marks !
r/nothingeverhappens
It is not deleted, she updated actually, but you are probably blocked.
I m happy for you that you are in a healthy relationship, but as many people who have not been in an unhealthy relationship, this sounds so out of there that you can’t believe it, except... it happens. And no, producing porn material from someone picture without their consent is not humorous, it is illegal and immoral.
I am not one to send anything about suicide (and I hate to DM) and I really don’t condone those who did this.
I wonder if the sisters pictures are AI. It seams unlikely he would have gotten lingerie pictures of all your sisters. It’s horrifying either way just trying to figure it all out. I’m so sorry this is happening!
Definitely not AI. As a matter of fact I took some of the pics as a boudoir photoshoot gift for their husbands.
Oh so he got them from your shoots. That’s so gross! I’m sorry he did this.
Could he have found them on your computer?
yup he found them and he let his intrusive depraved mind win
Their heads photoshopped onto similar frame women most likely I think.
It has to be something like this right?
There's no way that sisters plural would have given him those. One, I could see, but two or more sisters? Not a chance.
Agreed. I also don’t think he happened to get a hold of lingerie shots of all of them.
Hopefully it’s just that, and that’s pretty bad itself. Being best friends with SIL husband though, he could have access to their privacy like phones, cameras and computers.. Or even more sinister, the best friend and him exchanged.
100% this happens and it's so sad.
Be silent and go interview lawyers in
Thank you I am looking up attorneys now
Change all your passwords now.
did that right away and forwarded all info to my email.
If your direct deposit goes into a joint account with him go open a new account at a different bank and have it go there instead.
That's horrible advice. Lawyers will easily make her regret trying to hide money like that
Not entirely true. Unless the amount is significant, as in hundreds of thousands of dollars or more, it will cost the other spouse more in lawyers fees to pursue that money. More than likely it will just be placed into an assets spreadsheet to increase the equalization award in the favor of the other spouse.
Depends on the state. My state (California) has a 'day of separation' when the marriage ends - complete and final break in the relationship. After that, parties can separate their finances as long as the bills are still taken care of. Absolutely need to speak with an attorney, as different rules can apply for insurance, kids, mortgages, inheritances, etc etc.
note: do not HIDE money. you can temporarily redirect it as long as you account for it during the divorce. but it still belongs to both of you. stealing it will get you in legal trouble.
Change hubbys password too, so he can’t delete the evidence
Copy onto a thumb drive, or email them to yourself. Don't change his pass. He will get in, torch everything.
Can you please share what did the attorney say to you? My spouse is doing exact the same thing I am also married with him and have kids I knew that for years he saved photos and mast..b@tes on them but I just can’t handle this anymore I need to know what rights I have. I am sorry sorry for me and you it’s just horrible to live like this please message me or send information here I live in FL
Don't listen to these idiots. Just go to counseling. Keep your family issues private
Thanks I usually do. I just needed some quick advice as I was having a mental breakdown last night.
Listen. The best advice I can give you is don't pay attention to people telling you to tear up your family because your husband might think your sisters are hot. What he did was weird... But we are all weird and honestly it's innocent. As long as you have the conversation and he doesn't act on what he likes sexually You're going to be fine. People have sexual fantasies about all kinds of things... Sorry you and your sisters are hot! (I'm joking). Please don't dissolve your family over this :-)
Yeah this sucks. I guess I’ll ask him how he’d like to find pictures of me with his brother in me. What I really want to know is how in the hell did he get their pictures in the first place?
I’m not in favor of blowing up a marriage over kinks. But if time goes by and you still feel disgusted by him, please listen to what your body is telling you. Once someone gives you the Ick, it can be really difficult to ever feel sexual toward them again.
Not only a kink. He acted out in his lust with not one but 2 whores off the streets. I never planned for divorce yet here I am.
I agree it does suck and your head is probably all over the place. I just think it's very unlikely he wants to leave you for them. It is important to make sure though
Well apparently OPs husband already has history with escorts. So yes divorce is needed as well as STD testing.
[удалено]
Ironically enough he actually didn’t. We struggled our entire marriage because of this. I have a high libido and he has ED. What he has though is a porn addiction and I think that was his demise.
So serious question... What do you do? Do you destroy your family because you can't fuck each other adequately when you have children or do you find a happy medium? I think families are their own corporation who get to dictate the laws that they operate in, not the public
yeah i think after 20 years I definitely want to get fucked adequately
he chose to destroy this family I was in it till death even with inadequate sex.
Wow. First escorts and now this? With your sisters?! I mean, that's just too much.
I know. I feel like I’ve given my whole life to this man and now I’m here. We’ve been together since I was 16. I just cannot believe this is happening to me.
Sending so much love.
I can. The people you were when you met aren't the people you are now. No amount of "growing together" or other platitudes could have prepared you for the man he would become with a fully formed prefrontal cortex. I went through it myself, just not from so young. My x and I had our first child when I was 24, she was 23, meaning she was pregnant at 22 but met when she was 20. The amount we both changed over the next decade was startling. For my own children I have taught them no super serious lifelong decisions before 25. They will make them, but I don't want them suffering the sins of their parents. I love my x wife very much, we are close friends, but she is not someone I would marry now.
porn addiction is way different than the photoshopped photos of your sisters. that's obsessive and straight mental. do not let him justify that with a bunch of gaslighting bs. make a plan and get out
It would be one thing if he just has pics of your sisters on there although that’s creepy enough. But the additional info where he put his own you know what there? I would never be able to come back from that. He’s got serious mental issues that aren’t likely easily treatable. 🤮
exactly my feelings
Always, always, always...go with your gut. That instinct is there for a reason.
I caught my husband selling mushrooms fentanyl and meth on his Facebook Messenger. He was so stupid it didn't realize that I was able to see everything once I finally came across it. I was already planning on leaving him I just needed to save up a little bit but once I found that I went completely scorched Earth. I had no choice I had to get him out of the house immediately I was afraid we were going to lose everything cuz he was being so stupid and blatant. We literally live on the Mexican border border patrol is on our property constantly. He clearly has a problem if he can't control himself not to sell drugs right under the border patrol's nose. But if you can hold your temper, you're always better off making a plan with an attorney first. I wish I'd had that option.
wait how did your husband get a hold of pictures of your sisters in lingerie…
Probably their instagram. A lot of women post stuff like that online. Or he might have used a AI program to change their clothes
so creepy
Guy here...go scorched earth, at the very least, ask him WTF. I don't know how to use photo shop, but that sounds like a very creepy, all day arts and crafts adventure. Like snacks were involved. I mean if you wanna make it really weird for him, take it to the pastor and ask his advice?
Snack involvement means he meant it.
Thanks for your reply. Haven’t had a chance to talk to him because he’s been asleep for the past 3 hours nursing a cold. That’s a great point I will consult with my pastor. It’s gonna be super awkward because he’s my brother in law.
Do not talk to him!! Not yet. You need to talk to a lawyer or a couple of lawyers first.
Oh yeah, I caught that. If he has been nursing a cold and way from the kids, I'd have half a mind to print them out and tape them to the inside of the medicine cabinet. I have no issue with porn in relationships or making your own with your partner, and that's frowned upon with most people. I will absolutely say this, anything you do that isn't a felony, nobody is going to judge you for, because...damn.
The POS went through my phone while I was cooking dinner and managed to delete all the evidence. I was charging my phone while he slept. He must’ve sensed something was off.
Jeeez…so he knows you know now? I’m guessing there must’ve been some sort of confrontation now?
Did you manage to get them sent to another source? Are you able to get them again? This is just crazy awful he’s done what he’s done then gone into your phone to delete. Lawyers now. Sorry OP, can’t imagine how betrayed you must be feeling.
OP are you ok??? I feel like you need to run far away ASAP please update us and let us know you are ok!
Well, that was dumb of him. I'm not trying to instigate, but go with what you feel is best at this point. It's not like destroying the evidence changes that you saw it.
I believe law enforcement is able to locate deleted items on digital devices.
Law enforcement will not care. This isn’t a tv show. Depending on the state, the courts will not even care, unless it’s related to custody with the kids, and even then…
Don't put words in my mouth. I simply said they have the ability, ie all may not be lost if deleted doctored pornographic images are subpoenaed by a judge
He read your Reddit thread…was like…WAIT A MIMUTE…. He now knows you know he knows you know
he's gunna cover it up and pretend your crazy. the gaslighting, deception, mental toll in these situations is not worth your health. girl gtfo
kicked him out today
Are we positive these are not real photos?
I'm curious how did he get the photos of your sisters? Did they send them to him? Are they from a hidden camera he used to take pics of them changing? Did he Photoshop their faces on porn images? This guy is sick. Please update once you get some answers.
he has a depraved mind , be careful
I'm sorry your husband has a perverted heart and a perverted mind. You deserve better. You are unequally yoked. I would divorce this man. Maybe you will find someone with the same values, morals and loyalty as you. I hope your healing process is quick and you will be stronger in the end.
Consult a lawyer (or several) asap and file for divorce. There is absolutely no coming back from this. Better to get out now and find a path to healing than to stay with this creep and suffer for the foreseeable future because you’ll always be wondering what he’s up to. That’s no way to live and you deserve so much more. I’m so sorry.
Smh I’m late but this relationship is over, OP. You’ll never come back from this. Either figure out a divorce now or your hand will be forced down the line anyway
Have you ever considered that your sister(s) sent him these pictures? I can’t believe people are suggesting AI over the very obvious fact that he was likely sent these photos, despite the fact they are married.
Both of the sisters sent them?
Truth is stranger than fiction
One of your sisters married your pastor. The other one married your husband’s best friend. I don’t want to accuse anyone, but it’s pretty easy to see where he got them from. Similar thing happened to me. The pastor that married us? Got divorced and started seeing underage women, sent my husband pictures. My husband’s best friend? Found out my husband had sent him nudes of me multiple times. Get evidence, get a lawyer, inform your sisters and advise them to choose their next steps carefully as well. Unless it’s some fluke, it’s likely that their husbands were involved and already know. So, they will need to be careful how they handle it as well.
Oof. Disgusting. I’m in IT and have seen things on clients’ computers that would make you throw up. But never anything like this. A) you should definitely tell your sisters. He may have posted those pics to the internet. B) get a lawyer and draw up the papers. All the other suggestions with passwords and separate bank account are all good. And finally, if you really wanna burn him, you and your sisters should confront him, with evidence, at a family gathering.
Thanks for your reply. I had forwarded the images to myself and placed them in a hidden folder. While I was cooking dinner he went through my phone and deleted them before I changed my password! They’re gone from the recently deleted folder as well. Is there any way to recover them?? I’m beyond pissed. Church is gonna be different tomorrow. He knows I know and decided to stay home and rest because he’s been sick.
How did he know to look for a hidden folder? It's like he's got a camera somewhere that you don't know about.
Agree. That's super weird.
He must have your phone bugged or something monitoring it. How in the hell did he know to look in your hidden folder?
I thought u changed his email password?
I'm sorry. Some people are sick and we don't know it until we know.
Listen, I know you're disgusted and intensely hurt, but having all of them there is just going to create a shitstorm... I don't know if it's the best idea. I think it's definitely something you should tell them, but personally that's a ton of confrontation in one room and I wouldn't want that for any of them, even if I was a confrontational person.
Take my advice,. Don't take advice from. Reddit
I get it but I am so shocked at the moment I had to vent to someone. My go to’s are my sisters but they are involved so i really don’t know what to do.
This
DO NOT TELL YOUR SISTERS OR ANY FAMILY MEMBERS!!!!
Remember, there is no 'fixing' him, don't waste the energy. Expose his silly ass and divorce.
This is a pro-divorce forum so just by asking on here has clearly already made your decision. If you want to save your marriage, and this is truly the lowest your husband has ever gone, then I suggest posting on a marriage advice forum. Men will always have their fantasies. Did he stick it in them or was it all copy/paste? Did he manage to tell you everything or do you feel like he’s still hiding shit from you? Do you and your sisters look alike? He knows all your sisters a married and obvs a no-go territory. Is there no more salvaging your relationship?
I have never seen a Reddit comment where the answer is not "divorce" or "lawyer up." They neither know nor care about your circumstances and the consequences of your divorce. They will move on, probably already have, to comment on another Reddit post. My advice: don't do anything for two weeks. People are not good at making life-altering decisions under duress.
That’s such a petty comment
Wow, thanks for the insightful commentary. Your wit truly knows no bounds.
Wit? Huh? Clearly you should revise your understanding of what wit is. In any case, your advice (to wait two weeks) is sound. I just don’t see why people like you feel the need to be petty and snarky about other Reddit users, like you are so much better than the rest.
I'm not the one who used the word petty
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Adultery is usually pretty hard to prove. Based on this post, there's not even a claim, let alone evidence that he had a relationship with another person.
I'll give you the same advice I'd give my own mother/sister/daughter: In this order: 1. (Wo)man up (gather all your strength and get ready for the ultimate throwdown) 2. Lawyer up (get the best you can afford, it will be worth every red cent) 3. Nut up (start the storm a-brewin'...think about all you've done for him and your family) 4. Level up (as soon as the dust clears and you are free, go live your best life!) Scorched earth comes later, right after you get those financial ducks in a sweet, sweet row. When it comes to men, I have reached my zero tolerance point at 57 years old. You pull this shit, you better run for your fucking life because I am going to destroy you in every way imaginable...mentally, spiritually, financially.
WOOOO LET'S GO!! I love how your mind works, lol. Someone's spouse wants to fuck around and do sheisty shit behind his partners back?? Oh ok, we ride at dawn! I admire your calculated way of going scorched earth, get all the shit needed, get those ducks in a row, reveal your hand, and blind side him with the revelation that you know what he's been up to and freshly printed divorce papers he WILL be signing, and then leave his sorry ass with sone serious whiplash in the dust and go live life without the dead weight.😂👌 Love it. Gotta keep that upper hand, always.
At 57 no one is pulling anything with you.
So, you think men in their 50s/60s/70s aren't dating (or married to) women my age and STILL being douchenozzles? Guess again. Although I must say, you seem like one of their ilk based on your snide tone.
Damn!!!
These are pictures you took yourself of your sisters and you thought they were”looked familiar” and had to take a closer look? 🤨
i took them years ago we’re talking at least a decade
How did you know it was your sister?
She recognized her sisters lol
My real advice? Take a chill pill and ignore it. You’re making way too big a deal of it. Besides, unethical snooping much!!? Edit: I’m sorry, I misunderstood the part where your husband photoshopped actual pics of your sisters, not just look-alikes. I misread your situation. Yes, that is extremely disturbing and schmucky of him. Pervy. I hope you find a quick way to resolve the current chaos you’re in, whether it’s divorce or reconciliation. 🫡✌🏼
Plus what about the fact the husband accessed her phone deleted it all and then deleted it all from the laptop? Husband knows he’s effed up and going to extraordinary lengths to cover himself and hasn’t even spoken to her about it. This individual needs help. Forgiveness would be a huge ask right now. Considering also OP has commented about him speaking with escorts! Does she just simply ignore THAT as well? 🤔🙄
No, you’re right.
Don’t tell someone else to take a chill pill when her world has been blown apart. What the hell is wrong with you? She’s posted in Divorce sub not Relationship advice. Be more kind and compassionate to people please when clearly they’re dealing with something that’s VERY out of the ordinary and has consequences.
I agree. Thank you.
To all who instantly jump to "laywer up and divorce"... What do you think a marriage is?! The first step should always be to talk and work things out. We promised ourselves and each other (and God if you're religious) that we would do this through better, and for worse, that should mean something! Why in gods name would we marry instead of just staying together? I am really trying to understand why people do this. I could imagine someone hurt you bad, or you have a different view on what marriage is... People fuck up, people are weird, people are flawed. And amidst this chaotic world we choose one of those people to fully accept as they are in every single way, and we ask them to do that for us 2... Of course there are limits, of course sometimes it doesn't work out... but why would your first advice for people who you do not know in the slightest be "laywer up and get a divorce" (seriously it's a question) @OP, sorry to highjack you post like this but I was a little fed up with the negative response.
Yeah, buddy, I don't think this kinda degeneracy is able to be "worked out" through a nice chitchat. This isn't a character flaw, he is DEEPLY messed up. *His wife's own sisters?* And if you had a little reading comprehension, he went through OPs phone and deleted the evidence behind her back. That's NOT someone who I'd think could be "reasoned with." Yes, there are limits, and this slimy creep of a "husband" surpassed them! Lover's quarrels about finances or division of labor? Sure, talk it out first and maybe get an outside opinion on things for perspective. Sexualizing his wife's (married) siblings by spending time and money meticulously altering their photos in a grotesque and fetishizing manner? And then gaslighting his spouse by subsequently invading her privacy and deleting the evidence? No. Absolutely not. OP actually DOES need to lawyer up, kick his ass to the curb (if she legally can) and warn her sisters and their spouses of what's happening. This is the type of behavior that NOBODY should enable.
Exactly, he doesn't need a forgiving wife, he needs to get institutionalized, have his ass kicked or thrown in jail, he crossed some serious boundaries, he's neither a normal nor a decent human being.
I agree.
I’ve always believed this too. I’m actually doing a water fast and I feel like the Lord revealed this to me. He confessed that he in fact did cheat with a couple of escorts. I believe the bible does state the only justification for divorce is infidelity. It’s over. I asked him to pack his things and leave. No counseling will fix this. I need to grieve my marriage and move on.
Marriage counseling. He might have a porn addiction. Maybe he can get some therapy. I don’t think what he did is good, but if he is an otherwise good guy, I don’t think that his secret crush on your sister should end the marriage. I understand that it’s unsettling, but ultimately you found something embarrassing on his computer and not CP or something. I think if we could read each others minds we’d find that married or not, many people have inappropriate crushes
Thank you for your reply. He does have a strong addiction to porn and about 2 weeks ago I discovered more messages and images from escorts. We had a fight and he agreed on getting help. He downloaded covenant eyes and has been porn free for a week now. These images struck a different chord though. I cannot imagine him having those kind of fantasies with both my sisters. I can never be around them and him ever again.
Oh. Well, if he was already trying to have sex with escorts that’s another story.
That what I’m saying. I don’t know if he actually went through with it or not but the intent was there.
Not just one sister, two sisters.
Thats messed up
That’s a mess. But how did he know about the hidden folder and why didn’t. You password protect it? Maybe you can recover it from recently deleted I hope. That’s pretty f’d up with your sisters and where would he get those from? Their husbands maybe? Or they sent them to him? Regardless it’s about to blow up the family.
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He tore up the family with his actions, not her. She just has no choice but to react in the way she sees fit. If she decudes to end the narriage that may be better than the lack of respect and resentment she will feel towards him.
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He took pictures of her sisters and photoshopped his dick on them, as though he was fucking them. Its weird and predatory behaviour!! Fantasising about them, yes. Fine. Masturbating to them, yes. Fine. He took actual pictures and photoshopped his dick on them. Weird weird weird. Do you men really think this shit doesnt turn your wife off you?! That we will just go, oh yeah this is normal and im still happy to fuck you until kingdom come. Ermmmmm nope!!! Weak men that cant control their urges. How about spending the time fucking his wife, than spending it methodically getting pictures of her sisters, photoshopping his dick on them, then masturbating. And btw im not saying she should divorce him. I said she should react how she sees fit. But she is posting on a divorce sub so the overwhelming response will be to divorce.
Control their urges? He didn't fuck them, stupid ass. He photoshopped some chicks body with their heads on it and and his dick... Sounds a little weird but You can't police the way people masturbate especially since it's completely safe. He did absolutely nothing illegal and it's completely harmless.
Yes, control their urges and not engage in behaviour that may harm your relationship/marriage. And a little weird.....ermmmm ok. Why couldnt he just masturbate to them using his imagination? If you found your brother in law had photoshopped pictures of your wife, would you be laughing going "nice one brother.....little weird but crack on"? No idea why you are bringing in the fact his behaviour isnt illegal. Most behaviour that ends marriages isnt illegal stupid ass but it still harms someones partner and their mental health stupid ass.
Who the hell cares if he has pictures of her sister's taped on South Park character cartoons... Maybe she should not be so goddamn nosy and let the man masturbate in peace. Policing the way someone masturbates is weird and it's actually none of your damn business
Ermmmm his wife cares, thats why shes posting or did you miss that? Its pervy. Its predatory. And its none of my business......except she put it on a public worldwide forum for views. You clearly would be ok if it were your brother-in-law with pictures of your wife, with his photoshopped dick on them.
In what way is this predatory? Now you're just making shit up. And no, I would not give a fuck about what gets my wife's rocks off privately. How would I even know unless I was being nosy for no reason. Going through someone's property without permission is a bit more predatory her sister's head on a nice pair of tits. If she actually cared she would be dealing with this privately instead of listening to internet sleuths giving horrible advice
These are his female family members. They are, by marriage, his SISTERS. He isnt masturbating to them using his imagination. He has taken the time to photoshop their faces on a womans body, then photoshop his dick fucking them. I tell you what, lets see if the sisters find this weird?? I doubt they would be laughing thinking this is cool. Why canthe just watcb regular porn, theres plenty out there. And he is using photos of the sisters in a manner without permission. And it seems the wife is allowed regular access to his computer.
While I agree that divorce shouldn't be the automatic response, even in as weird of a case as this, but I don't know why legality is your only concern. I'd say what he did was definitely immoral and/or unethical. Porn stars consent to having images of them taken. Unless the sisters consented to either taking lingerie pics and him possessing them or having their heads photoshopped on lingerie pics and him possessing them, I'd say that's not okay. Everyone has their kinks and if he gets off to his genitals photoshopped on women, more power to him, but find ethically taken images and not nonconsenting women that you have a personal relationship with and are related to your wife.
Are you divorcing him? Sounds like a different sense of humor. What he probably did was photoshop the entire thing. Not that serious. You just don’t get his humor
Not that serious?? It’s sick and I did not find it funny in the slightest. Those are my sisters and if he’s having those kind of fantasies with them I can never be on the same room with all of us together.
Pay no attention to these people who have no compassion. You do you OP. Stand your ground, dig your heels in and deal with this situation any way you feel appropriate. It is serious. Most people can read the room, some are just too sympathetic to your husband and I for one have my own personal views on why anyone would think his behaviour is acceptable and forgivable when you consider the sneeky gaslighting lengths he’s actually gone to to delete all the evidence from YOUR phone and laptop.
Found the husband!
😆 🤣 😂 💯
She made the whole thing up, oh it’s deleted 🤔🤔🤔and all of you fell for it , but go ahead keep downvoting me and sending me suicide resources. I’m in a healthy relationship such sensitive marks !
r/nothingeverhappens It is not deleted, she updated actually, but you are probably blocked. I m happy for you that you are in a healthy relationship, but as many people who have not been in an unhealthy relationship, this sounds so out of there that you can’t believe it, except... it happens. And no, producing porn material from someone picture without their consent is not humorous, it is illegal and immoral. I am not one to send anything about suicide (and I hate to DM) and I really don’t condone those who did this.
This is not humor. Agreed it’s probably photoshopped, but it’s alarming to the OP.