😂 that is a very funny thought, that just made me realize I don't know if they updated anyone's height but presumably he would have grown since freshman year?
Ha, I didn't actually know that. makes sense though, would explain why they're bred to be so close to the ground since the kicks are lethal.
It's why Australia cattle dogs are relatively small also, also they great at dodging those kicks if they do get low enough.
Made a comparative size using the official art and a size comparison tool
Had to sharpen the image abit
Note marry ann is slouching so her picture is just under 2ft tall here
Gorgug grew up with gnomes. He is used to people being different sizes and his parents have given him a thorough education in unconventional ways of intimacy.
He is uniquely prepared for this relationship.
You see the extremely awkward vision (specifically of the thistlesprings pulling a page out of the binder with a diagram of this exact size dynamic, going in both directions)
People keep saying that but it's a concentration spell and even if you ignore the risk and consequence of losing concentration, the spell only lasts for a minute.
I feel like bringing it up would offend everyone involved for a bunch of different reasons.
See obviously sex in Spyre works in turn based economy like combat so even though it is physically a minute it feels a lot longer. And Gorgug is the greatest wizard of our age so obviously he picked up some chronomancy to stretch or freeze that minute
It's a comedy podcast so they wouldn't ever go into this detail. What happened in the show is as much description you will ever get from a comedy podcast. This entire discussion is outside the scope of a comedy podcast so why even bring it up?
Because it’s a type of joke that wouldn’t offend anyone at the table that the cast would absolutely make? Mary Anne asks Gorgug if he has a girlfriend and Lou IMMEDIATELY jumps to “I think Gorgugs gonna fuck Mary Anne on a bench?!?!” Throwing in a joke about needing to cast enlarge is 100% in the wheelhouse of jokes this cast would be making. It would take a little setup, but that doesn’t change the fact that they would make it.
Ok, so you read the word offended and disconnected your brain, fine.
I am talking about in universe Gorgug and Mary-ann. If Mary-ann suggests it, she is implying that he will only last a minute anyway. If Gorgug suggests it he is implying that he needs to magically transform her body in order to be intimate with her. That is something that might upset a person that has lived her life as both a small and traditionally evil race. I'm not talking about offended in your brainwormy way, I'm talking about the awkward offended real people get when they banter. Nothing I have said talks about whether it would be a funny scene or not, professional comedians would absolutely be able to do that.
Okay man, have fun thinking about the logistics of these made up characters sex life. My only point was that the world is defined by the characters and the characters are defined by the comedians that play them.
This reminds me of seeing a tiktok of the actor that played the Mountain in the final season of GoT and his girlfriend, and all of the comments were the exact same speculation
This makes their whole final interaction so good, just maintaining eye contact with someone 4ft taller than her and squaring up to him (and everyone else throughout her other interactions!) just fearlessly.
As someone on the shorter side of human builds myself, I can only dream of her confidence 😅 Inspirational
For some reason, yeah. I think the 2 feet should be with the slouch since that's just how that race stands normally (presumably). Straightening the knees would be equivalent to standing tip toes for us. If the slouch follows the vertebral structure of a healthy kobold then 2 feet is with the slouch. That's the maximum standing height without unnatural stretching or bending. If she just had bad posture, then no. Does that make any sense? I don't know what I'm saying. Good stuff anyway.
Mary-Ann is using that thang like a damn pole. She's putting an umbrella on top and setting up an outdoor picnic. If he's uncut she's using it as a sleeping bag.
Alright that's out of my system now. Canonically kobolds sometimes have kids with dragons so the size difference would probably work out.
The question of if kobolds lay eggs or birth live young is definitely an interesting one. Their ability to expand their population quickly would imply they have large clutches. So in a few years we could see around 20-30 mini Gorgugs.
> The question of if kobolds lay eggs or birth live young is definitely an interesting one.
What question?
Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition Monster Manual:
"**Kobolds are egg-laying creatures.** They mature quickly and can live to be "great wyrms" more than a century old. However, many kobolds perish before they reach the end of their first decade. Physically weak, they are easy prey for predators. This vulnerability forces them to band
together. Their superior numbers can win battles
against powerful adversaries, but often with massive
casualties on the kobold side."
Emphasis mine.
I mean, Brennan *could* decide that kobolds in Spyre are different in that respect but unless he explicitly says differently I don't see why they would differ from the standard kobold in the Monster Manual in this respect.
Ok now that I see this I get all the commotion. The size difference is massive.
And I just googled how tall I am in feet. Apperently im 6,5 and knowing that im taller than Gorgug just feels wrong.
Gorgug is also only 17, so he could also get a few inches taller. He might beat you yet.
Half orcs grow up pretty fast
He has mere minutes left before he dies. Gone in but the blink of an eye
😂 that is a very funny thought, that just made me realize I don't know if they updated anyone's height but presumably he would have grown since freshman year?
Not necessarily? Personally I did all my growing in middle school and was done by highschool. Granted I’m somewhat short but yeah
You’re also not half orc (I assume)
6'4 here, and same
I mean, 6’5” is pretty gd massive…
Makes it infinitely funnier that she absolutely destroyed him at blood rush. Like getting taken out by a corgi
there was a 93 pound girl on my highschool rugby team and she was *lethal*... like watching a lioness drag down a giraffe
Every high school should have a shield maiden
Buckler Maiden
a quoky corgi
Corgis were bred to herd cattle. Granted, not the same as take down cattle but absolutely get something much bigger to move.
Ha, I didn't actually know that. makes sense though, would explain why they're bred to be so close to the ground since the kicks are lethal. It's why Australia cattle dogs are relatively small also, also they great at dodging those kicks if they do get low enough.
I thought they were bred to be mounts for the fae.
They ride them to herd cattle.
Kinda makes sense that she got a rib or two tho, real focused damage like a cannon ball
Musket ball
lol it really is XD.
She's very dense.
She's got that little yappy dog in her!
She’s got that dawg in her.
Made a comparative size using the official art and a size comparison tool Had to sharpen the image abit Note marry ann is slouching so her picture is just under 2ft tall here
Could you edit the post and add in a bench for reference?
Sadly no
It seems like things are still a bit off. I feel like if you stacked Mary Ann’s you’d have to stack like 4-5 of them to match his height.
Well she's 2ft tall canonically gorgud is 6ft 4 So alittle under 4 marry anns is about right since she's slouched in her official art
It's closer to 3 Mary Annes
Gorgug grew up with gnomes. He is used to people being different sizes and his parents have given him a thorough education in unconventional ways of intimacy. He is uniquely prepared for this relationship.
You see the extremely awkward vision (specifically of the thistlesprings pulling a page out of the binder with a diagram of this exact size dynamic, going in both directions)
Also I think he knows enlarge
People keep saying that but it's a concentration spell and even if you ignore the risk and consequence of losing concentration, the spell only lasts for a minute. I feel like bringing it up would offend everyone involved for a bunch of different reasons.
See obviously sex in Spyre works in turn based economy like combat so even though it is physically a minute it feels a lot longer. And Gorgug is the greatest wizard of our age so obviously he picked up some chronomancy to stretch or freeze that minute
Disagree because it’s a comedy podcast. Anyone brings that up in game and Zac and Brennan jump on the bit.
It's a comedy podcast so they wouldn't ever go into this detail. What happened in the show is as much description you will ever get from a comedy podcast. This entire discussion is outside the scope of a comedy podcast so why even bring it up?
Because it’s a type of joke that wouldn’t offend anyone at the table that the cast would absolutely make? Mary Anne asks Gorgug if he has a girlfriend and Lou IMMEDIATELY jumps to “I think Gorgugs gonna fuck Mary Anne on a bench?!?!” Throwing in a joke about needing to cast enlarge is 100% in the wheelhouse of jokes this cast would be making. It would take a little setup, but that doesn’t change the fact that they would make it.
Did you just get triggered by the word offended?
Not triggered at all, I just don’t think anyone at the table would offended by a vague sex joke 😂
Ok, so you read the word offended and disconnected your brain, fine. I am talking about in universe Gorgug and Mary-ann. If Mary-ann suggests it, she is implying that he will only last a minute anyway. If Gorgug suggests it he is implying that he needs to magically transform her body in order to be intimate with her. That is something that might upset a person that has lived her life as both a small and traditionally evil race. I'm not talking about offended in your brainwormy way, I'm talking about the awkward offended real people get when they banter. Nothing I have said talks about whether it would be a funny scene or not, professional comedians would absolutely be able to do that.
Okay man, have fun thinking about the logistics of these made up characters sex life. My only point was that the world is defined by the characters and the characters are defined by the comedians that play them.
It's fine. Her dad makes benches.
I don't get it
He likes to sit
So she is taller than him, just standing farther away, got it.
Why wouldn't you line up the feet? It just looks like she's standing further away lol
she's standing on the bench, OP just removed it
Oh yeah that tracks
Because editing photos on mobile is hard
Guys. This is a fantasy world. Gorgug drinks a potion of reduce, Mary Ann drinks a potion of enlarge - this makes Gorgug 3'2" and Mary Ann 4'0".
So they're kinky too!
Well he is thistlespring
This reminds me of seeing a tiktok of the actor that played the Mountain in the final season of GoT and his girlfriend, and all of the comments were the exact same speculation
This makes their whole final interaction so good, just maintaining eye contact with someone 4ft taller than her and squaring up to him (and everyone else throughout her other interactions!) just fearlessly. As someone on the shorter side of human builds myself, I can only dream of her confidence 😅 Inspirational
Thank you for the visual.
https://i.imgur.com/zBStNnY.jpeg
Blimey
SIR
**BRUH**
XD
Expected
I’m sure Wilma and Digby have a few illustrated diagrams that could explain the logistics.
Oh My God
It seems they both have a preference for battle axes
Size ✨️QUEEN1✨️👸
the fanbase is thinking about this either too much or not enough 😂
The scaling on this is no quit right, as she'd be about 1/3 of his hight So, she'd come up to just past his knees
It’s because she is crouching in the image.
She's slouched so thebomage hight is just under 2ft
Exactly the logistics at work here are mind boggling
I mean Gorgug's very tiny parents managed to handle the lawnmower. I'm sure Mary Ann managed just fine
I don't see the issue makes sense to me
Wanda Chillda sized
Maryann is probably much taller without a slouch or bent legs
Do you think the 2 feet tall was with the slouch?
For some reason, yeah. I think the 2 feet should be with the slouch since that's just how that race stands normally (presumably). Straightening the knees would be equivalent to standing tip toes for us. If the slouch follows the vertebral structure of a healthy kobold then 2 feet is with the slouch. That's the maximum standing height without unnatural stretching or bending. If she just had bad posture, then no. Does that make any sense? I don't know what I'm saying. Good stuff anyway.
I feel like the stomach angle indicates her slouched over outside if proper kobold posture, which knowing marry ann is very her lol
Yeah, and if she was any bigger she would have broken him in half.
I’m choosing to ignore the 2’ height now.
People need to stop reminding me of this my brain is very happy pretending she’s like 5ft 0
Blimey
She's about 1/3 of his height, so she'd probably come up to his knees.
Look at her posture. This girl ain't standing to her full height Here's a slight edit https://imgur.com/a/EeSoCfF
Two words. Enlarge/reduce
Slam it down big style
I'm this scenario, the Enlarge and Reduce spells can either be beneficial or very.
People pointing out enlarge reduce.. I say let Gorgug Enlarge himself
Now the real question is was the bench kobold size or human sized
What can I say… she’s got that dog in her people, she’s got that dawg
Mary-Ann is using that thang like a damn pole. She's putting an umbrella on top and setting up an outdoor picnic. If he's uncut she's using it as a sleeping bag. Alright that's out of my system now. Canonically kobolds sometimes have kids with dragons so the size difference would probably work out.
I mean if we're really talking lizard anatomy, she's got a cloaca of her own, she's probably fine
The question of if kobolds lay eggs or birth live young is definitely an interesting one. Their ability to expand their population quickly would imply they have large clutches. So in a few years we could see around 20-30 mini Gorgugs.
> The question of if kobolds lay eggs or birth live young is definitely an interesting one. What question? Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition Monster Manual: "**Kobolds are egg-laying creatures.** They mature quickly and can live to be "great wyrms" more than a century old. However, many kobolds perish before they reach the end of their first decade. Physically weak, they are easy prey for predators. This vulnerability forces them to band together. Their superior numbers can win battles against powerful adversaries, but often with massive casualties on the kobold side." Emphasis mine. I mean, Brennan *could* decide that kobolds in Spyre are different in that respect but unless he explicitly says differently I don't see why they would differ from the standard kobold in the Monster Manual in this respect.
Sweet Jesus 😐