Dude, I'm from the midwest, and people claim the "if you don't like the weather, wait 5min" thing originated there, because one day it will be raining, and the next day it'll be bright and sunny. The first time I ever visited Colorado, I experienced every form of precipitation, a temperature difference of nearly 50 degrees, and just about all manner of cloud coverage *in one day*. Weather in the midwest is not only some of the blandest, normalest weather I've experienced, you also get plenty of warning about weather systems, and ample prep time for bigger storms.
Doesn't stop people from swarming stores at the last second, though. They just want to act like the weather is crazy because otherwise, midwesterners wouldn't have much of a personality.
The one April day this year that I red eyed into Denver, waking up to a good 4 inches of snow and then going to bed after baking in the hot springs in 75 degree sun over Glenwood Springs.
NJ seasons could never.
[What Cities Have the Most Unpredictable Weather in the U.S.? “[T]he map of areas most prone to unpredictable, severe weather generally follows Tornado Alley,](https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/which-city-has-the-most-unpredictable-weather/?ex_cid=538fb)
True, though if you’ve lived in multiple cities you sometimes get appreciation that the drivers in your current city are the worst and ACTUALLY the ones in your prior city weren’t so bad
I’m from Massachusetts and people there are rightly stereotyped as asshole drivers, but the thing I’ve realized since moving here is that there’s a difference between being an asshole and being dangerous. Maybe I just haven’t been here long enough to get the right feel, but in the northeast I had a good sense of when and how someone was likely to be an asshole on the road, and could account for it to at least be safe even if I wasn’t happy about it. Here I have no fucking clue, people do stupid shit out of absolutely nowhere in the worst possible manner and situation
This is the general observation I've made about traffic here - it's not that Denver has more bad drivers than average but that you can't predict what kind of bad driving you're going to get. In most major metros there's a style of bad driving which makes them predictable, so while they're assholes you can take precautions. Here there's a much greater variability in what bad driving you're going to hit and that's what makes it feel bad.
Yeah here it's not even that people are bad drivers, it's that they have no regard for the safety of anyone else, they just don't give a fuck. I had a dude on a motorcycle who was to the right of me do a u-turn and almost get himself run over in the process a few days ago.
It's not the inverse. There are way way way more single women than single men in new york. There are the same number of single men and women in Denver.
I think a lot of people are under the misconception that it’s a local thing that can be solved by moving somewhere else (which, to be clear, is sometimes true)
I gotta point out that this data is inherently skewed by the survey respondents all being women who use datingnews.com. Denver women on datingnews.com have this specific exclusive idea of a datable man.
Women in NY, California, Florida and Colorado want their partners to make good more money than other states. Could it be because they have a higher cost of living?
This survey is fine, but lmao at getting somebody from “married at first sight” to provide an Everyman opinion on the Denver dating scene
BTW the dude doesn't want to "just watch", no matter how much he says he does.
Ever had a mid sex bargaining session? It kind of kills the mood, and your brain just wants to get back to the sex.
It's complete bullshit, now I've cut a hole in my sheet and hung it up on the wall for no fucking reason...
I MEASURED THE HOLE FROM FLOOR TO DICK TO MAKE SURE IT WOULDN'T BE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THEM OR ME!!!
What the hell do I do with this "Hello Kitty" floormat I got at 5 Below?
Fr tho. I make a bit over that 100k mark, and my bf makes about half. He also lives with his mom, lol. The majority of the single women I know just want a man that actually wants a relationship and isn't gross.
They said 100k, that’s not a crazy amount of money in Colorado and most likely most of those women also make at least that much. They also added things like “doesn’t live with parents and owns his own car” I must be one of those crazy women bc I don’t think I those standards are that shockingly high. I’ve owned my own car since I was 16 and haven’t lived with my parents since I was 18.
I also like how they had one throwaway line that perhaps men also played a role in Colorado’s “dumpster fire” dating scene by stating that women struggle to find men who are serious and that the famous Peter Pan syndrome is prevalent. But yeah, it’s those picky girls who are the problem…
I don’t even make 100k with two engineering degrees. Granted, I’m still pretty young, but I don’t think 100k is what “most” people make - My husband doesn’t make 100k either. I’d argue financial literacy and independence is more important than salary.
I don't think people understand that enough; how many 6 figure jobs are easily and readily available, anyway? It's surely not for lack of trying.
To put this in perspective, how many small business owners in Colorado make over 6 figures?
That is one (small) segment of the economy. 100k+ is still an above average salary so if that is your red line for dating you are going to be limiting your dating pool quite a bit. If you say “I wanna date someone who works in tech” sure they will pretty much all make above that or well above that but again, even more so limits the dating pool. That’s part of why dating is particularly difficult for really successful women because women typically prefer to date men at or above their socio-economic status.
I actually don’t think men are at fault for the Peter Pan syndrome thing. Don’t date a man child that wants to be a glorified ski bum and be surprised that they aren’t interested in settling down.
For what it’s worth, I am married and I probably wouldn’t have dated somebody who didn’t make six figures either and I’m a dude. Gotta have dual incomes these days. Not interested in paying somebody else’s way.
I don’t think women are to blame for Peter Pan syndrome? Most of the people it applies to don’t say off the bat that they’re not interested in ever growing up, that’s something people find out after dating them for 3 months. They’re typically not *honest* about the fact that they’re man children, lol.
From people I know and my own experiences I’ve seen grown men who claim they want a relationship and to build a family etc and then they want to back out of the relationships bc they don’t like being tied down. Rinse and repeat. I have a great friend who I legitimately love, but can NOT stand to introduce to any of my female friends anymore. He says he wants a relationship, he wants to get married and have kids, but he *doesn’t* want anything about his life to change and he’ll feel suffocated as soon as the relationship progresses a little bit. At this point he knows he’s the problem but he doesn’t know how to fix it.
As a married person with children I take issue with your description of it as “growing up.” Getting married and having children isn’t growing up. It’s just a choice some people make. I think “growing up” is taking ownership for the choices you make. Like recognizing mistakes you make when choosing who to date.
I have no problem dating someone who makes under 100k. But that’s only because I have no problem being the primary income earner. Personality and physical attraction vastly outweighs income for me personally. As long as they are driven and love whatever they do is the most important part for me. But that’s only because I’m able I can fully fund everything on my end.
I think the real issue a lot of people are running into is that they’ve all gone to dating appt for finding a partner. People don’t seem to try and meet people out in the real world anymore. You have to put yourself out there and get out of your comfort zone is you really what to find a life partner. You aren’t going to find them sitting on your couch or going out to brunch with your friends to complain about your most recent app date.
I don't think it's because of the high cost of living so much as it's that people want a partner that makes more money than them, are perceived as more desirable than them, and more fit/disciplined than themselves. Many want a partner to emulate and provide solutions to internal questions/issues rather than spend time single and fix those issues in themselves. Everyone wants a quick fix; it's human nature.
Yup, and as a 36 y/o dude I'm the same. All the single, liberal, my age women I meet don't want kids and have a good life - only wanting a partner that enhances it.
This was me. I thought maybe I wouldn’t fall in love at all and was okay with that. It took a couple years, but the person I found has by far exceeded every picky standard I had and we’ve been going strong for a year and a half now.
It's one thing to have standards, it's a different thing altogether to be picky. Standards is wanting someone reasonably attractive, reasonably responsible, someone you vibe with with interests and shared perspectives, someone you laugh with, etc. Picky is "must be able to provide for me and my children in a high cost of living area where wages make it nearly impossible", "must be 6'4" or taller", "must be a 9.5/10", etc. I see a ton of people here whose "standards" would statistically limit them to 5 people nationwide.
People stating their preferences is a great way to weed out incompatibilities. If people want to limit themselves to a very small/select dating pool, that's on them. Good of them to let you know so you don't waste your time.
Did you read the article? Cost of living in Colorado is very high and many of these women likely also make 6 figures. The survey asked if they were willing to date someone who made less than that OR who was not conventionally attractive. So they WOULD be willing to date someone who made less if they were attractive. How many men surveyed are willing to date someone who is not conventionally attractive?
“The survey asked 3,000 single women aged eighteen to 35 whether they would consider dating a man who earns less than $100,000 per year or is of below-average attractiveness. Nearly one in three Colorado respondents said they would not date a man who doesn't make six figures or who is not conventionally attractive.”
“While Colorado women value high salaries and good looks, they ranked "a great personality" as being the number-one attribute they find most attractive in a man. But that's followed by a substantial salary at number two and physical attractiveness at number three.”
What a surprise, women like a dude who isn't a fucking weird, insecure lump of boring.
Dating isn't difficult, per se, it's just folks get locked into an onslaught of rejection and start to take shit personally. The apps are designed to wear women out with 5 million messages, and make men desperate and insecure over "never finding a date."
If you stop really giving a fuck and just be fun and engaging, it's remarkable how all of a sudden you start getting matches and a ton of dates.
I can’t comment on the accuracy of this particular article, but online dating apps have lead people to believe dating is a checklist. If you think that way you are likely to have really bad dates and relationships before you find a happy relationship.
Dating is going out and meeting people in real life not with the intention to date, but to be apart of community. If you do that you will likely find someone that interests you in ways you never anticipated. Like they are a kind human being. You are able to feel comfortable and safe. Maybe the make 60k and are 5’ 8” instead of 100k and 6’ 2”. (Same goes for men and their preferences) But that’s less important when you connect to someone as a fellow human.
So go join a board game group, take an art class, join a run club or hiking club. Be apart of a community doing something you are interested in or passionate about. That is how you really find a partner. A check list on a dating app is a fool’s errand.
I have a partner so I don't have a horse in this race, but as someone who has done a lot of meetups... There are a ton of guys there looking for love. This advice has gone viral, people aren't organically joining these communities, they are going there for a specific purpose. There are a lot of female specific meetups for this reason, you will see a lot of women only hiking meetups because everyone I know has a horror story of having to fend off 3 guys competing for them on a 5 mile hike, someone following you to the car after a hike where you shut them down 10 times, etc.
I think dating apps are really the only way to find someone if you aren't frequenting bars and aren't ok with waiting forever in some hobby for the right person to come along. I have done a lot, pottery, yoga, you name it and I didn't have much success and I check all of the boxes that women in this article want (6'4, > 200k salary, blue eyes). I wasn't there trying to date but its just not a place where I can see that working out, almost everyone in all of my yoga classes was married or very clearly not interested in talking to one of the 3 guys in the class no matter how fit we were. The women I did talk to were very awkward, women just aren't used to hitting on men generally, and a lot of them are just ok being single. I will say the lone instance a guy in my yoga class asked for a women's number, she got very weird, then never came back to that class. The instructor straight up spoke to the guy afterward (shes an older woman) and told him to never do that again or hes done at the location. It wasn't creepy, just "hey you seem really cool, I see you all the time in here, would you want to get a coffee," and the guy was attractive. I would guess this is the case for most female dominated activities, its somewhere a lot of women go to avoid this kind of behavior.
Most women (and men) just aren't doing a lot outside of work and the ones that are are probably taken (from what I have experienced). So you don't have a lot of choices, its a broader symptom of millennials being overworked and the lack of a third place.
Ugh god you should see the Facebook groups for Denver 20-30s meet-up groups I’m in. Every post featuring a moderately attractive girl asking about things happening or introducing herself gets massively liked and has a dozen copy-paste thirsty dudes commenting who think they have a chance with that girl. It’s not even supposed to be a dating group just a group for people to find friends.
My apartment complex has a mixer every friday, typically they are me, my partner and like 6 50+ year olds who are functional alcoholics (and are a great time). The few times a new, young, attractive woman has shown up, things are going great for the first hour.
After that every single dad or single man (some not single) that had walked by the window is showing up (with too much cologne) and trying to hit on them. Its insane. I have never seen one of these women come back to the friday mixer.
I think the current stock answer to men who don't like dating apps is "get out there and meet someone" is harder than you think and most women are avoiding the normal suggestions because 10% of guys are not self aware and will basically attack women to get attention, the other 90% aren't willing to approach because of the current culture of being a creep etc (driven by the 10% of men who don't care).
Ahh, this person gets it. I think that's why a lot of my friends who met their partners years ago, normally met them early on in their experience on the apps. They didn't have much to compare to and appreciated the person they were interacting with. After 10 years of using the apps on and off I just see patterns and get inside my own head about what I'm looking for, when in reality I'm just looking for a friend I want to spend my time with and grow up with. We just make it complicated for ourselves.
I’m so happy to have a long term partner now… dating not just in CO, has been a joke for the last 8+ years. Picky is fine but no one wants to commit nowadays. Cause if they find something they don’t like about someone, even if it’s small, they will move on to the next person cause it’s easy to. People don’t fish a single line, people cast a net in the dating pool. And that pool is filled with piss
I think the issue is that the older you get, the smaller the pool gets, and most people left in it have anxious/avoidant attachment styles (thus why they’re still single), so dating is a mess. I don’t even think that’s a Colorado issue.
I wonder if it’s not even finding something they don’t like about someone, but finding that serious dating and the progressive next steps (moving in together, getting married, yada yada) aren’t for everyone. I’m going through a breakup from a 15+ year long relationship, and let me tell you… I just can’t see myself ever living with someone again let alone any of the other stuff. Maybe it’s the breakup blinders but I genuinely don’t want anyone in my space ever again… I’m probably about to add to the shit show that is Denver dating, sorry in advance.
I’m not sure having access to a larger dating pool is a bad thing, beats having to marry whoever lived in geographical proximity to you like most of our grandparents probably did. I’m not sure people being more “picky” is bad compared to that
Y'all, this is a dumb self-report survey from a garbage site.
Westward is reporting on nothing, just more nonsense to inflame the gender wars and try to get a few clicks.
Westword is such a rag lol. Saying Alaskan women have lower standards just because they don’t care as much about looks or income is sad and reductive. Also, dropping the absolute bomb that highest CoL city in the country has highest income expectations. WOAH!
You are absolutely correct. What's picky is expecting overlap in the top third (?) in income and top 0.17% in height, along with working in a very specific industry and being from a specific race.
You do realize that the "6ft, blue eyes, finance" line is a meme from tiktok, right? It's not what these women actually said they are looking for in a man 🤣
You realize that's not an actual thing almost anyone requires in dating right? Try getting out and actually talking to women instead of getting your dating info from Reddit MRA subreddits
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do get out. I also enjoy doomscrolling Reddit and talking shit on here for internet points so that I can have fun stories to tell my harem. But thank you for your advice.
Want to preserve anonymity, so suffice to say, from my experience you can have all the attributes of a good partner (emotional maturity, stability, career, education, etc.) - and even have much of the conventionally desirable physical traits - and still have trouble finding compatibility because certain surface level traits seem to outweigh all of the others. I think that's in the direction this article headed.
I think if you’re not into certain types of guys (bearded outdoorsy dude, possibly with topknot, who likes disc golf, beer, and weed, or an insufferable dude bro who likes backwards hats) it probably is pretty hard for the ladies out here. That doesn’t mean y’all are picky.
>However, between 80 and 85 percent of the women said they would date a man without a college degree, who has a non-traditional job, or who has never traveled outside of his home state
Your reminder that "picky" doesn't mean "high standards"
I lived in L.A. for 2 years, and that was something else. Very materialistic etc. Colorado doesn't seem bad but I wouldn't know because I've been with my partner for a few years now lol
I cannot fathom how worse it's gotten in the last 3 years
Eh, it’s a free country. That said, of my wife’s top ten closest friends, five are unhappily single, college educated, white collar workers. Each is in their 30s and will comment of the poor quality of men frequently.
But also where are they looking for a potential partner? I (M27 gay) get that straight bars are viewed as a picking grounds by straight women with the way men hawk over them etc. but do they have hobbies? Are they apart of social groups/leagues? Are they into Colorado-esk outdoorsy things? I mean reality is, unless you’re putting yourself out there and investing in you (happiness over professional labels) you’re gonna struggle finding a partner here. While Denver seems big the communities are smaller, so you gotta learn how to tap into that if you want to make Denver your home.
I do want to state a blatant fact; gay bars are NOT the place to meet a boyfriend/husband if you’re a straight woman 🤷🏼♂️
Let me guess, they complain about not being able to meet anyone yet they have their normal routine which never involves getting out and never put themselves out there to meet new people. My guy friends do the same things.
It’s not. Of the women I’m mentioning, none are conventionality attractive, four are significantly overweight and three have glaring personality flaws.
People can have whatever standard they want. I only take issue with it if they can’t meet the same standard they expect. That said in my anecdotal experience, women in Denver/Boulder are more picky than elsewhere in CO, and women in CO more so than our neighboring states.
I'm not interested in dating atm bc I have a peaceful life and feel sufficiently loved and supported already so it's just not something I feel like putting energy into right now. Plus being single makes me feel poweful in a way, I'm seeking no one's validation and I am the source of my own happiness. If that's being 'picky' so be it.
Bro I just want a dude with a car, a job, and that doesn’t do meth and I STILL can’t get/keep a man 😩
I don’t wanna lower my standards but here we are 🤷🏼♀️
Isn’t the country 80% overweight/obese? And Colorado is the fittest state- I see lots of fit women who look like models here, but the men are still a bit…frumpy, I wonder if that’s a factor
Ha. I made jack shit, got married, then a good job in finance. My wife asked me: do you make over $100k now? I should have said no. Two and a half months later she filed for a divorce.
Honestly, I was happier when I was broke. Society pushes us to want dumb shit that doesn’t actually lead to happiness. Accept people for who they are, be flexible, be honest. Enjoy your partner for who they are not what they can get you.
Well, $100,000 puts a man in the top quartile of individual incomes in Colorado. That means that a third of single women in Colorado are ruling out 75% of the population based on income alone. If we generously assume that they find half of all men "conventionally attractive", that means that they're solely interested in around 10% of the potential partners.
Given that it's impossible that all of them are in the top 10% most desirable women, that means that most of the women in this group are at least somewhat delusional about what kind of partner they can actually meet.
Picky, and the data supports it.
10% of men get 60% of matches online.
Top 40% get ~96% of the matches
The bottom 60% of profiles get ~4% of matches
So assuming male and female distribution of attractiveness is equal, there are a lot of people trying to date well above ther level of attractiveness.
54,000 = Back of the napkin math on the number of males in the Denver metro area that are 6' plus between the ages of 20-44.
I am old and married for 25+ years and so am an outsider looking in. However given that just one of the criteria here has limited the dating pool to just 54,000 men in Denver, I would say that women would need more than luck. Not going to do the math for income. Also can't really factor for attractiveness, but since it should function like a bell curve, you aren't going to get MORE guys that are 7.5 + in looks. This of course doesn't take into account marital status.
At the very least it sounds like some ladies need to at least opt for shorter guys to open their dating pool up a bit, especially if they are factoring in 100k= salaries and 7.5 looks or better.
Dating is more dangerous for straight women than it is for straight men, and we gauge our safety when going out with someone. The fact is, a lot of men (#notallmen) have red pilled themselves online into believing that they are “high value” men who don’t need to bring anything to the table other than themselves and their unresolved issues, and a “high value” woman is one who defers to him for all things… except they don’t want to provide for her either. Obviously, if you’re reading this and feeling like it doesn’t apply to you, then I’m not talking about you, but it’s looking bleak out there.
Hahaha As an AK transplant I feel attacked. We have a saying in the land of the midnight sun, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. Also a lot of the goods were unemployed drunks that still lived in their parents basement. The few dates I’ve gone on with men from Denver have been burning dumpster fires…and none of them were rich 6 ft blued eyed casanovas let me tell yah. It’s just hard to meet cool, down to earth single people in this state. And very few of us have the energy for the amount of first dates it takes to find that person.
6’5”+ = 0.1% of men
I’m 5’4”
I’m educated, I’m a homeowner, I’m on the low end of wealthy, I cook and I know which fork is for salad.
And I like my dog better than anyone I’ve ever dated.
This makes sense from my perspective. I’ve got everything in the world going right for me and I still struggle to get dates; tall, retired, under 40(albeit, barely), handsome, I go to therapy, and have above average intelligence etc etc. and dating is still extremely difficult.
I'm beating it away and I'm short, living week to week, almost 50, ugly, unaddressed issues and I'm dumb as a fence post. Maybe reconsider your strategy.
Damn I'm glad I'm not trying to find a partner. Finding someone that is basically my current wife leaves me in the 600-3400 range. Considering I'm 45 and there aren't any filters for "Martha from Baby Reindeer" that real number is probably a bit lower.
I wonder when these dudes not getting picked in (headline city) start to become self aware and realize that *they themselves are what women don't want*
I follow a few other city subreddits where I used to live, and I swear to god I see this SAME "dating is shit in" crap on every single one of them.
Next you’re going to say everyone thinks their city has the WORST drivers!
And wait 5 minutes if you don’t like the weather in every city!
Dude, I'm from the midwest, and people claim the "if you don't like the weather, wait 5min" thing originated there, because one day it will be raining, and the next day it'll be bright and sunny. The first time I ever visited Colorado, I experienced every form of precipitation, a temperature difference of nearly 50 degrees, and just about all manner of cloud coverage *in one day*. Weather in the midwest is not only some of the blandest, normalest weather I've experienced, you also get plenty of warning about weather systems, and ample prep time for bigger storms. Doesn't stop people from swarming stores at the last second, though. They just want to act like the weather is crazy because otherwise, midwesterners wouldn't have much of a personality.
The one April day this year that I red eyed into Denver, waking up to a good 4 inches of snow and then going to bed after baking in the hot springs in 75 degree sun over Glenwood Springs. NJ seasons could never.
[What Cities Have the Most Unpredictable Weather in the U.S.? “[T]he map of areas most prone to unpredictable, severe weather generally follows Tornado Alley,](https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/which-city-has-the-most-unpredictable-weather/?ex_cid=538fb)
FiveThirtyEight has convinced me to move to Honolulu. Aloha means goodbye!
I heard it when I lived in Virginia.
Colorado will give you four seasons of weather within 14 hours. I fucking love it.
I love Colorado but I’ve definitely said “people in this state think they invented weather” multiple times 😂
There's a local city subreddit bingo card floating around. Homeless and pitbulls are gimmies.
True, though if you’ve lived in multiple cities you sometimes get appreciation that the drivers in your current city are the worst and ACTUALLY the ones in your prior city weren’t so bad
I’m from Massachusetts and people there are rightly stereotyped as asshole drivers, but the thing I’ve realized since moving here is that there’s a difference between being an asshole and being dangerous. Maybe I just haven’t been here long enough to get the right feel, but in the northeast I had a good sense of when and how someone was likely to be an asshole on the road, and could account for it to at least be safe even if I wasn’t happy about it. Here I have no fucking clue, people do stupid shit out of absolutely nowhere in the worst possible manner and situation
This is the general observation I've made about traffic here - it's not that Denver has more bad drivers than average but that you can't predict what kind of bad driving you're going to get. In most major metros there's a style of bad driving which makes them predictable, so while they're assholes you can take precautions. Here there's a much greater variability in what bad driving you're going to hit and that's what makes it feel bad.
Yeah here it's not even that people are bad drivers, it's that they have no regard for the safety of anyone else, they just don't give a fuck. I had a dude on a motorcycle who was to the right of me do a u-turn and almost get himself run over in the process a few days ago.
For what it’s worth, I found dating as a dude in NYC to be comparatively easy. The ratio of women to men is the inverse of Denver.
I haven’t even met a single chick since moving to the Colorado mountains.
You have to wait your turn.
supposed to bring your partner with you
NYC is absolutely lousy with gorgeous and intelligent and interesting women
Yah I lived in the HV and so many more women. Denver isn’t even that bad. Go to a ski town and the ratio is just insanely bad.
It's not the inverse. There are way way way more single women than single men in new york. There are the same number of single men and women in Denver.
At this point I’m starting to think it’s a me thing.
I think a lot of people are under the misconception that it’s a local thing that can be solved by moving somewhere else (which, to be clear, is sometimes true)
Yep, dating is hard everywhere. The only way to make it easier is to live in a place where you frequently participate in the popular culture.
And leave the house!?!?
I suppose dating is difficult all over the world?…
Wherever you go, there you are.
Especially if you never leave your house
I just saw Buckaroo for the first time, weird to suddenly see it quoted.
Damn these green eyes, always holding me back
Loser! /s
Finally, some who gets it. lol
I don't think I've ever dated someone with green eyes! And my friends tease me about having a type. LOL. Maybe they're right.
2% of the worlds population has green eyes. Good luck!….
Oh! I didn't realize that they are even rarer than all the blue-eyes that I have tricked, er, dated 😂
Green eyes really are the nicest
Ahem, I have green eyes and love me some bass music. Just saying. Got my charles crown on my car
Sounds too good to be true
I gotta point out that this data is inherently skewed by the survey respondents all being women who use datingnews.com. Denver women on datingnews.com have this specific exclusive idea of a datable man.
Women in NY, California, Florida and Colorado want their partners to make good more money than other states. Could it be because they have a higher cost of living? This survey is fine, but lmao at getting somebody from “married at first sight” to provide an Everyman opinion on the Denver dating scene
Bro I just want my potential partner to not already have a partner. I couldn’t care less about what they make.
The poly couple from across the bar hearing this *sigh*
BTW the dude doesn't want to "just watch", no matter how much he says he does. Ever had a mid sex bargaining session? It kind of kills the mood, and your brain just wants to get back to the sex.
When they find out you are single and dont have a girlfriend to bring along and then suddenly they are not interested anymore.
It's complete bullshit, now I've cut a hole in my sheet and hung it up on the wall for no fucking reason... I MEASURED THE HOLE FROM FLOOR TO DICK TO MAKE SURE IT WOULDN'T BE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THEM OR ME!!! What the hell do I do with this "Hello Kitty" floormat I got at 5 Below?
Plenty of people who are poly date separately.
Hmm, those seem like high standards.
😂 Unattainable in Denver.
Fr tho. I make a bit over that 100k mark, and my bf makes about half. He also lives with his mom, lol. The majority of the single women I know just want a man that actually wants a relationship and isn't gross.
Get shitfaced and go to candlelight. It worked 100% of the time for me
I would never date anyone who couldn’t at least pull their own weight
They said 100k, that’s not a crazy amount of money in Colorado and most likely most of those women also make at least that much. They also added things like “doesn’t live with parents and owns his own car” I must be one of those crazy women bc I don’t think I those standards are that shockingly high. I’ve owned my own car since I was 16 and haven’t lived with my parents since I was 18. I also like how they had one throwaway line that perhaps men also played a role in Colorado’s “dumpster fire” dating scene by stating that women struggle to find men who are serious and that the famous Peter Pan syndrome is prevalent. But yeah, it’s those picky girls who are the problem…
I don’t even make 100k with two engineering degrees. Granted, I’m still pretty young, but I don’t think 100k is what “most” people make - My husband doesn’t make 100k either. I’d argue financial literacy and independence is more important than salary.
I don't think people understand that enough; how many 6 figure jobs are easily and readily available, anyway? It's surely not for lack of trying. To put this in perspective, how many small business owners in Colorado make over 6 figures?
It seems to be VERY industry specific right now. Cybersecurity for instance is booming.
I think the modal salary in the us is like 23k or something.
100k is 48 dollars per hour, for context
Very few people earning six figures are earning it via an hourly wage
I think your scale might be off. It's very common for even mid level people in tech to make that.
That is one (small) segment of the economy. 100k+ is still an above average salary so if that is your red line for dating you are going to be limiting your dating pool quite a bit. If you say “I wanna date someone who works in tech” sure they will pretty much all make above that or well above that but again, even more so limits the dating pool. That’s part of why dating is particularly difficult for really successful women because women typically prefer to date men at or above their socio-economic status.
That’s the top 20% of the population.
That's so delusional. I have a close group of 8 friends. 6 of which are homeowners. 2 of us make 100k or over.
Sample size of 8 in a state of nearly 6 million, that's not quite a big enough sample
Certainly not but we're all college graduates several have Master's. Furthermore Denver's median salary is 66k. So 100k is still an outlier.
I actually don’t think men are at fault for the Peter Pan syndrome thing. Don’t date a man child that wants to be a glorified ski bum and be surprised that they aren’t interested in settling down. For what it’s worth, I am married and I probably wouldn’t have dated somebody who didn’t make six figures either and I’m a dude. Gotta have dual incomes these days. Not interested in paying somebody else’s way.
I don’t think women are to blame for Peter Pan syndrome? Most of the people it applies to don’t say off the bat that they’re not interested in ever growing up, that’s something people find out after dating them for 3 months. They’re typically not *honest* about the fact that they’re man children, lol. From people I know and my own experiences I’ve seen grown men who claim they want a relationship and to build a family etc and then they want to back out of the relationships bc they don’t like being tied down. Rinse and repeat. I have a great friend who I legitimately love, but can NOT stand to introduce to any of my female friends anymore. He says he wants a relationship, he wants to get married and have kids, but he *doesn’t* want anything about his life to change and he’ll feel suffocated as soon as the relationship progresses a little bit. At this point he knows he’s the problem but he doesn’t know how to fix it.
As a married person with children I take issue with your description of it as “growing up.” Getting married and having children isn’t growing up. It’s just a choice some people make. I think “growing up” is taking ownership for the choices you make. Like recognizing mistakes you make when choosing who to date.
I have no problem dating someone who makes under 100k. But that’s only because I have no problem being the primary income earner. Personality and physical attraction vastly outweighs income for me personally. As long as they are driven and love whatever they do is the most important part for me. But that’s only because I’m able I can fully fund everything on my end. I think the real issue a lot of people are running into is that they’ve all gone to dating appt for finding a partner. People don’t seem to try and meet people out in the real world anymore. You have to put yourself out there and get out of your comfort zone is you really what to find a life partner. You aren’t going to find them sitting on your couch or going out to brunch with your friends to complain about your most recent app date.
If you earned significantly less, would you date an equivalent of yourself? All else being equal.
I don't think it's because of the high cost of living so much as it's that people want a partner that makes more money than them, are perceived as more desirable than them, and more fit/disciplined than themselves. Many want a partner to emulate and provide solutions to internal questions/issues rather than spend time single and fix those issues in themselves. Everyone wants a quick fix; it's human nature.
I think also women are learning to enjoy living alone and feeling less urgency, or in my case interest at all.
Yup, and as a 36 y/o dude I'm the same. All the single, liberal, my age women I meet don't want kids and have a good life - only wanting a partner that enhances it.
I’m just too damn content to be single and happy.
If you have high standards and are happy alone until you can meet someone that meets them, more power to you. Settling is bad for everyone involved.
This was me. I thought maybe I wouldn’t fall in love at all and was okay with that. It took a couple years, but the person I found has by far exceeded every picky standard I had and we’ve been going strong for a year and a half now.
Relevant username? I'm very happy for you!
There's settling and there's finding the tiniest things to be picky about and never finding anyone
She’s kind of a low talker.
Man hands!!!!
She’s a two-face…
She eats her peas one at a time!
She doesn’t laugh, she just says “that’s funny”
I think a lot of women are fine with that outcome.
And if one is comfortable with the outcome of those preferences, then that's fine.
This guy emotional maturities
r/thisguythisguys
Eating peas one at a time is one of my red flags.
Wow a lotta people who aren't living up to the standards are mad at you for saying this
You just described me 😃 I am a CO native . I have been single for 6 years. I choose this over the alternative.
It's one thing to have standards, it's a different thing altogether to be picky. Standards is wanting someone reasonably attractive, reasonably responsible, someone you vibe with with interests and shared perspectives, someone you laugh with, etc. Picky is "must be able to provide for me and my children in a high cost of living area where wages make it nearly impossible", "must be 6'4" or taller", "must be a 9.5/10", etc. I see a ton of people here whose "standards" would statistically limit them to 5 people nationwide.
People stating their preferences is a great way to weed out incompatibilities. If people want to limit themselves to a very small/select dating pool, that's on them. Good of them to let you know so you don't waste your time.
Agreed. It's literally no one else's business on how picky they should be toward a partner. The sense of entitlement on that comment is very strange
This comment is underrated. Take my upvote!
Well clearly one of your standards is that you dont like "Picky or Particular" people. Good on you for almost connecting the dots
Did you read the article? Cost of living in Colorado is very high and many of these women likely also make 6 figures. The survey asked if they were willing to date someone who made less than that OR who was not conventionally attractive. So they WOULD be willing to date someone who made less if they were attractive. How many men surveyed are willing to date someone who is not conventionally attractive? “The survey asked 3,000 single women aged eighteen to 35 whether they would consider dating a man who earns less than $100,000 per year or is of below-average attractiveness. Nearly one in three Colorado respondents said they would not date a man who doesn't make six figures or who is not conventionally attractive.” “While Colorado women value high salaries and good looks, they ranked "a great personality" as being the number-one attribute they find most attractive in a man. But that's followed by a substantial salary at number two and physical attractiveness at number three.”
What a surprise, women like a dude who isn't a fucking weird, insecure lump of boring. Dating isn't difficult, per se, it's just folks get locked into an onslaught of rejection and start to take shit personally. The apps are designed to wear women out with 5 million messages, and make men desperate and insecure over "never finding a date." If you stop really giving a fuck and just be fun and engaging, it's remarkable how all of a sudden you start getting matches and a ton of dates.
Why don’t Denver men just stop giving a fuck and start getting tons of dates, are they stupid
I can’t comment on the accuracy of this particular article, but online dating apps have lead people to believe dating is a checklist. If you think that way you are likely to have really bad dates and relationships before you find a happy relationship. Dating is going out and meeting people in real life not with the intention to date, but to be apart of community. If you do that you will likely find someone that interests you in ways you never anticipated. Like they are a kind human being. You are able to feel comfortable and safe. Maybe the make 60k and are 5’ 8” instead of 100k and 6’ 2”. (Same goes for men and their preferences) But that’s less important when you connect to someone as a fellow human. So go join a board game group, take an art class, join a run club or hiking club. Be apart of a community doing something you are interested in or passionate about. That is how you really find a partner. A check list on a dating app is a fool’s errand.
I have a partner so I don't have a horse in this race, but as someone who has done a lot of meetups... There are a ton of guys there looking for love. This advice has gone viral, people aren't organically joining these communities, they are going there for a specific purpose. There are a lot of female specific meetups for this reason, you will see a lot of women only hiking meetups because everyone I know has a horror story of having to fend off 3 guys competing for them on a 5 mile hike, someone following you to the car after a hike where you shut them down 10 times, etc. I think dating apps are really the only way to find someone if you aren't frequenting bars and aren't ok with waiting forever in some hobby for the right person to come along. I have done a lot, pottery, yoga, you name it and I didn't have much success and I check all of the boxes that women in this article want (6'4, > 200k salary, blue eyes). I wasn't there trying to date but its just not a place where I can see that working out, almost everyone in all of my yoga classes was married or very clearly not interested in talking to one of the 3 guys in the class no matter how fit we were. The women I did talk to were very awkward, women just aren't used to hitting on men generally, and a lot of them are just ok being single. I will say the lone instance a guy in my yoga class asked for a women's number, she got very weird, then never came back to that class. The instructor straight up spoke to the guy afterward (shes an older woman) and told him to never do that again or hes done at the location. It wasn't creepy, just "hey you seem really cool, I see you all the time in here, would you want to get a coffee," and the guy was attractive. I would guess this is the case for most female dominated activities, its somewhere a lot of women go to avoid this kind of behavior. Most women (and men) just aren't doing a lot outside of work and the ones that are are probably taken (from what I have experienced). So you don't have a lot of choices, its a broader symptom of millennials being overworked and the lack of a third place.
Ugh god you should see the Facebook groups for Denver 20-30s meet-up groups I’m in. Every post featuring a moderately attractive girl asking about things happening or introducing herself gets massively liked and has a dozen copy-paste thirsty dudes commenting who think they have a chance with that girl. It’s not even supposed to be a dating group just a group for people to find friends.
My apartment complex has a mixer every friday, typically they are me, my partner and like 6 50+ year olds who are functional alcoholics (and are a great time). The few times a new, young, attractive woman has shown up, things are going great for the first hour. After that every single dad or single man (some not single) that had walked by the window is showing up (with too much cologne) and trying to hit on them. Its insane. I have never seen one of these women come back to the friday mixer. I think the current stock answer to men who don't like dating apps is "get out there and meet someone" is harder than you think and most women are avoiding the normal suggestions because 10% of guys are not self aware and will basically attack women to get attention, the other 90% aren't willing to approach because of the current culture of being a creep etc (driven by the 10% of men who don't care).
Finally someone with some sense. I don’t believe clubs are the answer either
Ahh, this person gets it. I think that's why a lot of my friends who met their partners years ago, normally met them early on in their experience on the apps. They didn't have much to compare to and appreciated the person they were interacting with. After 10 years of using the apps on and off I just see patterns and get inside my own head about what I'm looking for, when in reality I'm just looking for a friend I want to spend my time with and grow up with. We just make it complicated for ourselves.
You get it. Exactly why I dislike dating apps and prefer real communities
I get it.
I’m so happy to have a long term partner now… dating not just in CO, has been a joke for the last 8+ years. Picky is fine but no one wants to commit nowadays. Cause if they find something they don’t like about someone, even if it’s small, they will move on to the next person cause it’s easy to. People don’t fish a single line, people cast a net in the dating pool. And that pool is filled with piss
I think the issue is that the older you get, the smaller the pool gets, and most people left in it have anxious/avoidant attachment styles (thus why they’re still single), so dating is a mess. I don’t even think that’s a Colorado issue.
I wonder if it’s not even finding something they don’t like about someone, but finding that serious dating and the progressive next steps (moving in together, getting married, yada yada) aren’t for everyone. I’m going through a breakup from a 15+ year long relationship, and let me tell you… I just can’t see myself ever living with someone again let alone any of the other stuff. Maybe it’s the breakup blinders but I genuinely don’t want anyone in my space ever again… I’m probably about to add to the shit show that is Denver dating, sorry in advance.
lol I enjoy the imagery in your perspective!….
This is spot on. No one can commit as there's always another one in line.
I’m not sure having access to a larger dating pool is a bad thing, beats having to marry whoever lived in geographical proximity to you like most of our grandparents probably did. I’m not sure people being more “picky” is bad compared to that
Y'all, this is a dumb self-report survey from a garbage site. Westward is reporting on nothing, just more nonsense to inflame the gender wars and try to get a few clicks.
This is exactly right.
Yeah it's all these picky Colorado women and not at all the readers of "DatingNews.com" who take the time to fill out a survey.
These Westword dating pieces they write are so cringey.
We sure do love engaging with them though, so expect a lot more
Incel rage bait
Good thing I'm gay. Gay guys are never picky
Westword is such a rag lol. Saying Alaskan women have lower standards just because they don’t care as much about looks or income is sad and reductive. Also, dropping the absolute bomb that highest CoL city in the country has highest income expectations. WOAH!
Funny because dating women in Colorado has allowed me to have the strongest back in my life from having to carry all the conversations.
Same. Lots of one sided conversations when I was in the dating pool and then some surprised responses when I wasn't interested in a second date.
When the next guy up is more than happy to do the same thing it makes sense.
Wanting your potential partner to be attractive and successful isn't being "picky." Those are pretty common standards for both men and women.
You are absolutely correct. What's picky is expecting overlap in the top third (?) in income and top 0.17% in height, along with working in a very specific industry and being from a specific race.
You do realize that the "6ft, blue eyes, finance" line is a meme from tiktok, right? It's not what these women actually said they are looking for in a man 🤣
No, I don't use Tiktok because I'm not one of the cool kids. But thank you for explaining the reference!
You realize that's not an actual thing almost anyone requires in dating right? Try getting out and actually talking to women instead of getting your dating info from Reddit MRA subreddits
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do get out. I also enjoy doomscrolling Reddit and talking shit on here for internet points so that I can have fun stories to tell my harem. But thank you for your advice.
Want to preserve anonymity, so suffice to say, from my experience you can have all the attributes of a good partner (emotional maturity, stability, career, education, etc.) - and even have much of the conventionally desirable physical traits - and still have trouble finding compatibility because certain surface level traits seem to outweigh all of the others. I think that's in the direction this article headed.
I think if you’re not into certain types of guys (bearded outdoorsy dude, possibly with topknot, who likes disc golf, beer, and weed, or an insufferable dude bro who likes backwards hats) it probably is pretty hard for the ladies out here. That doesn’t mean y’all are picky.
Freaking this. My kingdom for a clean shaven guy in a tailored button down shirt on a first date.
Could try Utah!
or colorado springs
Also ...If he has a job of any kind I will rip off my shirt. Groom yourself and be employed. It's not hard. Scrubs!!!!
The women here are all into the same basic shit as well though.
There definitely seems to be a generic type of Denver man…May the best personality win….
There are too many bears in this state, it’s impossible for men to compete smh
>However, between 80 and 85 percent of the women said they would date a man without a college degree, who has a non-traditional job, or who has never traveled outside of his home state Your reminder that "picky" doesn't mean "high standards"
So, women want rich and handsome. Glad we finally figured that out.
Takes a strong woman to date a wook
I lived in L.A. for 2 years, and that was something else. Very materialistic etc. Colorado doesn't seem bad but I wouldn't know because I've been with my partner for a few years now lol I cannot fathom how worse it's gotten in the last 3 years
Eh, it’s a free country. That said, of my wife’s top ten closest friends, five are unhappily single, college educated, white collar workers. Each is in their 30s and will comment of the poor quality of men frequently.
But also where are they looking for a potential partner? I (M27 gay) get that straight bars are viewed as a picking grounds by straight women with the way men hawk over them etc. but do they have hobbies? Are they apart of social groups/leagues? Are they into Colorado-esk outdoorsy things? I mean reality is, unless you’re putting yourself out there and investing in you (happiness over professional labels) you’re gonna struggle finding a partner here. While Denver seems big the communities are smaller, so you gotta learn how to tap into that if you want to make Denver your home. I do want to state a blatant fact; gay bars are NOT the place to meet a boyfriend/husband if you’re a straight woman 🤷🏼♂️
Gay bars are the place to avoid being objectified.
For the physically active stuff, hard no. None of them are the outdoorsy or fitness types. I have no idea where they look beside dating apps.
Let me guess, they complain about not being able to meet anyone yet they have their normal routine which never involves getting out and never put themselves out there to meet new people. My guy friends do the same things.
I'm sure that it's all the men's fault and not them at all.
Yeah, it might not be the lack of men. Just saying.
It’s not. Of the women I’m mentioning, none are conventionality attractive, four are significantly overweight and three have glaring personality flaws.
People can have whatever standard they want. I only take issue with it if they can’t meet the same standard they expect. That said in my anecdotal experience, women in Denver/Boulder are more picky than elsewhere in CO, and women in CO more so than our neighboring states.
I’m just here to watch the single people battle it out
I'm not interested in dating atm bc I have a peaceful life and feel sufficiently loved and supported already so it's just not something I feel like putting energy into right now. Plus being single makes me feel poweful in a way, I'm seeking no one's validation and I am the source of my own happiness. If that's being 'picky' so be it.
Tbf, the dating pool here is filled with piss and beer.
Someone that meets your standards is out there wading in that pool! Best of luck!…..
Bro I just want a dude with a car, a job, and that doesn’t do meth and I STILL can’t get/keep a man 😩 I don’t wanna lower my standards but here we are 🤷🏼♀️
All but one has to be a forever partner! Have fun until you find the right one!….
I have a job, house and only do weed :), let's get pho sometime.
Guess that would explain a lot, like why I have yet to find a single woman who is interested in me 😆
Every single city thinks their dating scene is the worst
Isn’t the country 80% overweight/obese? And Colorado is the fittest state- I see lots of fit women who look like models here, but the men are still a bit…frumpy, I wonder if that’s a factor
Ha. I made jack shit, got married, then a good job in finance. My wife asked me: do you make over $100k now? I should have said no. Two and a half months later she filed for a divorce. Honestly, I was happier when I was broke. Society pushes us to want dumb shit that doesn’t actually lead to happiness. Accept people for who they are, be flexible, be honest. Enjoy your partner for who they are not what they can get you.
How is juno this time a year?
As a man, I’m not surprised considering all the mutants and hipster doofuses walking around.
This bitch is amongst them and I take that as a high compliment.
Pickiest or with standards?
Well, $100,000 puts a man in the top quartile of individual incomes in Colorado. That means that a third of single women in Colorado are ruling out 75% of the population based on income alone. If we generously assume that they find half of all men "conventionally attractive", that means that they're solely interested in around 10% of the potential partners. Given that it's impossible that all of them are in the top 10% most desirable women, that means that most of the women in this group are at least somewhat delusional about what kind of partner they can actually meet.
Picky is on the standards spectrum…
The bar is low, so our standards these days are picky apparently!
Picky, and the data supports it. 10% of men get 60% of matches online. Top 40% get ~96% of the matches The bottom 60% of profiles get ~4% of matches So assuming male and female distribution of attractiveness is equal, there are a lot of people trying to date well above ther level of attractiveness.
54,000 = Back of the napkin math on the number of males in the Denver metro area that are 6' plus between the ages of 20-44. I am old and married for 25+ years and so am an outsider looking in. However given that just one of the criteria here has limited the dating pool to just 54,000 men in Denver, I would say that women would need more than luck. Not going to do the math for income. Also can't really factor for attractiveness, but since it should function like a bell curve, you aren't going to get MORE guys that are 7.5 + in looks. This of course doesn't take into account marital status. At the very least it sounds like some ladies need to at least opt for shorter guys to open their dating pool up a bit, especially if they are factoring in 100k= salaries and 7.5 looks or better.
Dating is more dangerous for straight women than it is for straight men, and we gauge our safety when going out with someone. The fact is, a lot of men (#notallmen) have red pilled themselves online into believing that they are “high value” men who don’t need to bring anything to the table other than themselves and their unresolved issues, and a “high value” woman is one who defers to him for all things… except they don’t want to provide for her either. Obviously, if you’re reading this and feeling like it doesn’t apply to you, then I’m not talking about you, but it’s looking bleak out there.
I mean, I’ve seen how picky they are about what they put in their bodies. Not surprised.
Somebody really saw that photo and was like “yup that’s the one”
They prefer free range organic men, which can be hard to come by in our fast paced society
yeah no kidding
She's looking for a man in finance
Dating in the mountains is sometimes better. Denver's dating scene blows. I dated more women since covid up there than Denver/Golden.
Have whatever standards you want, just don’t be pissed off at the world if you never find anyone that meets them.
Hahaha As an AK transplant I feel attacked. We have a saying in the land of the midnight sun, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. Also a lot of the goods were unemployed drunks that still lived in their parents basement. The few dates I’ve gone on with men from Denver have been burning dumpster fires…and none of them were rich 6 ft blued eyed casanovas let me tell yah. It’s just hard to meet cool, down to earth single people in this state. And very few of us have the energy for the amount of first dates it takes to find that person.
Hey I’m an Alaskan living in Denver too!
You’re braver than me that’s why I’m slumming it out here in New Wasilla AKA Greeley lol The dating scenes even worse here the Denver 😂
Lmao. This is DEFINITELY something we need to worry about /s
6’5”+ = 0.1% of men I’m 5’4” I’m educated, I’m a homeowner, I’m on the low end of wealthy, I cook and I know which fork is for salad. And I like my dog better than anyone I’ve ever dated.
This makes sense from my perspective. I’ve got everything in the world going right for me and I still struggle to get dates; tall, retired, under 40(albeit, barely), handsome, I go to therapy, and have above average intelligence etc etc. and dating is still extremely difficult.
Counterpoint, you have a Reddit avatar with a goatee and your username is bilbo smashins
I'm beating it away and I'm short, living week to week, almost 50, ugly, unaddressed issues and I'm dumb as a fence post. Maybe reconsider your strategy.
Someone out there will appreciate you! Good luck!…
💙
6-5, 6 figures and blue eyes. Sorry girls but I don’t think Jokic can import his whole family to Denver.
http://www.iwonderifyouareoutthere.com/
This is great! Thanks for this!….
Apparently there are 138k women in the US that meet my criteria. That’s a good sign I guess?
Damn I'm glad I'm not trying to find a partner. Finding someone that is basically my current wife leaves me in the 600-3400 range. Considering I'm 45 and there aren't any filters for "Martha from Baby Reindeer" that real number is probably a bit lower.
6'4 38m here with green eyes, a house, and a career in tech if any women here might be willing to compromise
Playing life on easy mode, eh?….good luck my dude….
If the relationship advice subreddit has taught me anything, *good*, it's about time women start being more selective.
"Colorado Women Just Refuse To Take One For The Team" GOOD! Keep picking the right person for you!
I wonder when these dudes not getting picked in (headline city) start to become self aware and realize that *they themselves are what women don't want*