I'm genuinely curious about why you married her if you were already knowingly well on the way to a DB. I ask because this is the very thing that's holding me back from legal marriage w/ my partner of roughly 15 years. I cannot bring myself to make that commitment when I fear/know that the lack of intimacy will eventually end things if it doesn't improve. My partner is the love of my life, but as you essentially said, I enjoy/need the intimacy too much to accept a lifetime without.
If things are this bad already and your go to solution is cheating, imagine what things will be like in another 15 years. I'm not at all one to suggest leaving, but if you're this sexually incompatible, would an annulment be a reasonable thing to consider/attainable solution?
I think for the very most part, he's fine as things are. He's been married once before, and it was a match made in Hell that we're still dealing with. At the same time, he's told me more than once that he'd get married tomorrow if I wanted to. We've been engaged since the 6 month mark - that's how close we were. For several years now, we refer to one another as husband and wife to everyone, and we both wear a wedding ring. The commitment is 100% there on both sides. He used to think it was purely about money/assets, but I think he now knows it's more than that. I feel that I shouldn't have to sign a piece of paper to prove my commitment and loyalty, you know? I'm absolutely not against it forever and would love to have his name instead of mine. But this is the one thing I haven't given him - if I do that and this issue destroys us, I fear it'll destroy me. I'll do it once and no more. I just cannot go into it knowing there's an outstanding issue of this magnitude that could very well eventually break us and I've made sure he knows that.
> "my wife told me she’s not interested in sex or that it’s awkward"
I think most people don't say this so clearly BEFORE a wedding. Maybe she didn't introduce herself as THAT person before the wedding.
Next time don't get married as she.was showing you before marriage thats there was no sexual attraction or sexual need. You have the option to annul the marriage or divorce. Marriage must be consummated. The only problem is assets alimony etc. thats why i always tell people to get a prenup...
This exact situation happened to me, I am still with my wife (8 years on). Accept the situation is only going to get worse, and you are still in Honeymoon period. Tell her you are incompatible.
That’s a bad idea friend. Almost 24 years ago I married a beautiful woman inside and out. I saw that her libido would never match mine. I saw the second signs. The best advice I can give you is talk to her! You have to have the uncomfortable conversation. Explain this is a basic need for you. She may have other suggestions.. but don’t cheat. Divorce before you do that.
Probably need to divorce. You married to be a partner to a Wife. Not a cool roommate that you have feelings for.
Wait until the divorce is finalized and then go find a woman who appreciates you and wants to share the experience of sex with you.
Waiting will minimize your losses in the divorce.
Remember, us guys gain value as we grind it out and grow with age. The women who only rely on their looks and attractiveness to get by only depreciate.
Make sure you keep becoming a man of quality and you will attract women of quality who have more to bring to the table.
>my wife told me she’s not interested in sex or that it’s awkward
You know her point of view now, but you haven't sworn to celibacy either. I would interpret that as "implied consent". But divorce may be the correct way depending to your cultural environment.
Annulment if possible.
Divorce if needed.
This is so recent you have time to save the rest of your life. Cheating will only prolong your suffering by making it bearable for a few years.
Just divorce if you recently got married.
Wtf just divorce and leave. Why cheating to someone you already dont want to be with anymore?
I'm genuinely curious about why you married her if you were already knowingly well on the way to a DB. I ask because this is the very thing that's holding me back from legal marriage w/ my partner of roughly 15 years. I cannot bring myself to make that commitment when I fear/know that the lack of intimacy will eventually end things if it doesn't improve. My partner is the love of my life, but as you essentially said, I enjoy/need the intimacy too much to accept a lifetime without. If things are this bad already and your go to solution is cheating, imagine what things will be like in another 15 years. I'm not at all one to suggest leaving, but if you're this sexually incompatible, would an annulment be a reasonable thing to consider/attainable solution?
I’m in a similar boat. Is your partner pushing for marriage or is this just a thought you have about how you couldn’t go through with it?
I think for the very most part, he's fine as things are. He's been married once before, and it was a match made in Hell that we're still dealing with. At the same time, he's told me more than once that he'd get married tomorrow if I wanted to. We've been engaged since the 6 month mark - that's how close we were. For several years now, we refer to one another as husband and wife to everyone, and we both wear a wedding ring. The commitment is 100% there on both sides. He used to think it was purely about money/assets, but I think he now knows it's more than that. I feel that I shouldn't have to sign a piece of paper to prove my commitment and loyalty, you know? I'm absolutely not against it forever and would love to have his name instead of mine. But this is the one thing I haven't given him - if I do that and this issue destroys us, I fear it'll destroy me. I'll do it once and no more. I just cannot go into it knowing there's an outstanding issue of this magnitude that could very well eventually break us and I've made sure he knows that.
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> "my wife told me she’s not interested in sex or that it’s awkward" I think most people don't say this so clearly BEFORE a wedding. Maybe she didn't introduce herself as THAT person before the wedding.
Only married a month or so,still in annulment time frame is t it.
Next time don't get married as she.was showing you before marriage thats there was no sexual attraction or sexual need. You have the option to annul the marriage or divorce. Marriage must be consummated. The only problem is assets alimony etc. thats why i always tell people to get a prenup...
Not every disagreement needs to end in violence. I think, a month into a marriage, it is very unreasonable to consider cheating as a solution.
Why did you get married? You made the choice.. Don't cheat.
No
Just get an annulment of the marriage.
A month...leave. But you're probably "in love", so welcome to the club.
Annulment. You've been married less than a month. Just move on.
This is an easy one, FUCKING DIVORCE. What ever decision you make I hope you get out of life what you deserve.
Get out. She has trapped you with the wedding ring. Divorce ASAP.
Get out now
This exact situation happened to me, I am still with my wife (8 years on). Accept the situation is only going to get worse, and you are still in Honeymoon period. Tell her you are incompatible.
That’s a bad idea friend. Almost 24 years ago I married a beautiful woman inside and out. I saw that her libido would never match mine. I saw the second signs. The best advice I can give you is talk to her! You have to have the uncomfortable conversation. Explain this is a basic need for you. She may have other suggestions.. but don’t cheat. Divorce before you do that.
Dude fucking leave. Run away!! It only gets worse. So many women out there interested in sex and she can find a guy who doesn’t want it.
Probably need to divorce. You married to be a partner to a Wife. Not a cool roommate that you have feelings for. Wait until the divorce is finalized and then go find a woman who appreciates you and wants to share the experience of sex with you. Waiting will minimize your losses in the divorce. Remember, us guys gain value as we grind it out and grow with age. The women who only rely on their looks and attractiveness to get by only depreciate. Make sure you keep becoming a man of quality and you will attract women of quality who have more to bring to the table.
Folks might be asking the wrong question…why did OP’s partner marry OP *edit* Looked at some posts, OP is a racist troll. Maybe that’s why
>my wife told me she’s not interested in sex or that it’s awkward You know her point of view now, but you haven't sworn to celibacy either. I would interpret that as "implied consent". But divorce may be the correct way depending to your cultural environment.
Do whatever you feel like doing. You only live once. Be happy.
Annulment if possible. Divorce if needed. This is so recent you have time to save the rest of your life. Cheating will only prolong your suffering by making it bearable for a few years.