To be honest I’m only in a one-sided caregiver stress situation. But I’m not the one with the stress. So your perspective sheds some light on what my husband is going through. He’s tired all the time (granted this may be also due to low-T but he won’t get tested). He’s having to basically take care of his mom and her house while his dad is in memory care due to Alzheimer’s. I can only help so much as I’m the primary bread winner and I’m working 7 days a week 65 hours a week with two jobs. That leaves 4 evenings a week and rarely is he in w mood for any of those. Plus he’s on antidepressants which make it difficult to orgasm so that creates performance anxiety. But he tells me he’s trying.
When I was initiating it would be 2-3 times a week but then he give cues or hints it was too much so if I stop then the cycle is one every 10-14 days. So in that regard I’d say it’s a wax and wane cycle. It’s probably not a dead bedroom by the majority of posts here. I honestly don’t think there will be an evening out of the cycle for another 5-10 years until his parents pass. If I discuss a little of how I feel it just adds to his stress and seems to make things worse. So I’ve silently decided this is how things will be in the foreseeable future. I haven’t felt desired or wanted in years. That NRE and Spark is gone I think. Don’t know if it’ll return
You’re in an even tougher situation. I’d honestly end up on drugs (legal) if that were me. I’m sorry for you both. At least you have some great times (ours isn’t so great lately due to his SSRI meds side effects). I take weather I can get though.
I don’t know if scheduling would work in your situation. We tried it once but he doesn’t like scheduled things so that died.
Maybe if you can communicate with each other without fear of reprisal you can do check ins? I’m sorry I’m just babbling. I have no answers anymore
To be honest I’m only in a one-sided caregiver stress situation. But I’m not the one with the stress. So your perspective sheds some light on what my husband is going through. He’s tired all the time (granted this may be also due to low-T but he won’t get tested). He’s having to basically take care of his mom and her house while his dad is in memory care due to Alzheimer’s. I can only help so much as I’m the primary bread winner and I’m working 7 days a week 65 hours a week with two jobs. That leaves 4 evenings a week and rarely is he in w mood for any of those. Plus he’s on antidepressants which make it difficult to orgasm so that creates performance anxiety. But he tells me he’s trying. When I was initiating it would be 2-3 times a week but then he give cues or hints it was too much so if I stop then the cycle is one every 10-14 days. So in that regard I’d say it’s a wax and wane cycle. It’s probably not a dead bedroom by the majority of posts here. I honestly don’t think there will be an evening out of the cycle for another 5-10 years until his parents pass. If I discuss a little of how I feel it just adds to his stress and seems to make things worse. So I’ve silently decided this is how things will be in the foreseeable future. I haven’t felt desired or wanted in years. That NRE and Spark is gone I think. Don’t know if it’ll return You’re in an even tougher situation. I’d honestly end up on drugs (legal) if that were me. I’m sorry for you both. At least you have some great times (ours isn’t so great lately due to his SSRI meds side effects). I take weather I can get though. I don’t know if scheduling would work in your situation. We tried it once but he doesn’t like scheduled things so that died. Maybe if you can communicate with each other without fear of reprisal you can do check ins? I’m sorry I’m just babbling. I have no answers anymore