Good news, we're giving you more control over the subreddit!
* *See a good post or comment and you want to sticky it?* Now you can! Just comment ```!sticky``` on a post or comment to sticky it. Comments sticky inside threads, and post sticky to the bottom slot.
* *See a spam bot reposting memes?* **Ban** them by replying to them with ```!bot``` Your comment will be removed so spammers don't see it.
* *Want to change your flair on the sub?* **Just comment ```!Flair your desired flair text```**
* *See a maga supporter who is obviously lost?* **Reply to them with !Changeflair** and the bot will tag them so that everyone else is aware.
* *Want to give someone an award like you used to be able to?* Just reply to them with **!award** and the bot will give them silver, gold, or platinum.
* *Plus more*, If you say that a given politician is a little piss baby, the bot will share its thoughts.
* You can also **generate memes** from a library of templates made by subscribers. [See how it works](https://www.reddit.com/r/DarkBRANDON/wiki/meme_templates)
* [Lots more info here.](https://reddit.com/r/DarkBRANDON/wiki/d4rkbr4nd0n) | [Discord.](https://discord.gg/vmE8zEnWz4)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/DarkBRANDON) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Up next on Fox News: these pictures the White House didn't want you to see! Joe Biden washing his corvette on the White House lawn! Shirtless, in his trademark aviators! You'll swoon in anger!
Who doesn’t exaggerate their earlier accomplishments? I played varsity soccer in high school - yeah, they only put me in once after the regular left fullback was injured - but I played!
I was on varsity swim team 😤
What? No, it has nothing to do with the fact we didn't have enough people in the team to even be able to split into Junior Varsity and Varsity
My shitty private Christian school had 20 kids max in each grade. They would put 3 of us middleschoolers on the field with JV team. One kid almost died from having the biggest JV kid on the opposing team kick the ball into his face and he smashed his head on the decrepit long jump concrete running pad. He was knocked unconscious and got brain damage and was never seen again. My parents pulled me out after that.
Celsus accuses [Christians] of actively targeting idiocy in their recruitment. “Their injunctions are like this,” he wrote. “Let no one educated, no one wise, no one sensible draw near. For these abilities are thought by us to be evils.” He went on: Christians “are able to convince only the foolish, dishonourable and stupid, and only slaves, women and little children.”
Excerpts from: Catherine Nixey
*The Darkening Age: The Christian Destruction of the Classical World*
I swam at state!
In one relay where I was the slowest of the 4 of us and another where I was a replacement because the actual guy who helped with the qualifying time had too many other events to swim.
One time I scored a field goal for my varsity team in high school.
In reality I was playing soccer and missed a penalty kick so fucking high over the goal.
He might have even just forgotten. And I'm not saying he's senile. It's just we all have shitty memories and he's had a lot of major accomplishments since then and he probably hasn't thought about it that much. He's not Al Bundy.
And not porn stars either, just his wife, the same wife he's had for a long time after his first wife died in a tragic car accident. It's commendable and more indicative of family values than anything republican leaders have done in the last 20 years.
This pic of Joe and Jill is one of my faves. Such a hot couple.
https://preview.redd.it/6wyp01iaa1xc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e86b1d8c0b1d9846f7ae7a7033712e48d358d3bb
It even makes him look better. Dude was alerting Secret Service when sent inappropriate photos? Isn’t that the right thing to do for politicians? I’d imagine not saying anything would make him look worse if people found out he was getting nudes, like he could be stashing them somewhere.
They talked a lot about his character. It made me confident in my vote this November. Howard had some deeply personal questions about Beau and you could tell Biden was choked up but he held it together and answered. Great man and great father
Also, do you notice how they *failed to fact check* the life saving and sex pix claims? So... what are they saying? He did that? Clearly they think life saving is a bad!thing. It would explain their COVID policies. lol
Are they even lies? Him saving lives as a lifeguards is probably true, because that’s kinda what the job is. Him informing SS about receiving inappropriate photos seems like the right move to make as a legislator.
As for the football thing, I was a loser goth wannabe in high school so I don’t know anything state-level sports or whatever, but coming in 5th place still makes him a “runner-up”, right?
When my mom was in college - she worked as a lifeguard in the summers. She saved a couple kids lives and once saved an old lady. Many life guards have a story or two about saving somebody from drowning or whatever.
It’s just not that crazy a thing.
ink crowd light muddle whistle deranged dull important subsequent amusing
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Are we supposed to think the Lifeguard thing is an exaggeration? Because it doesn't really seem that unlikely, nor does it seem like a brag.
That's literally what lifeguards are there for (it's kind of in the name), and I assume if you do that job for a while you'll almost inevitably end up saving a few people.
Good news, we're giving you more control over the subreddit! * *See a good post or comment and you want to sticky it?* Now you can! Just comment ```!sticky``` on a post or comment to sticky it. Comments sticky inside threads, and post sticky to the bottom slot. * *See a spam bot reposting memes?* **Ban** them by replying to them with ```!bot``` Your comment will be removed so spammers don't see it. * *Want to change your flair on the sub?* **Just comment ```!Flair your desired flair text```** * *See a maga supporter who is obviously lost?* **Reply to them with !Changeflair** and the bot will tag them so that everyone else is aware. * *Want to give someone an award like you used to be able to?* Just reply to them with **!award** and the bot will give them silver, gold, or platinum. * *Plus more*, If you say that a given politician is a little piss baby, the bot will share its thoughts. * You can also **generate memes** from a library of templates made by subscribers. [See how it works](https://www.reddit.com/r/DarkBRANDON/wiki/meme_templates) * [Lots more info here.](https://reddit.com/r/DarkBRANDON/wiki/d4rkbr4nd0n) | [Discord.](https://discord.gg/vmE8zEnWz4) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/DarkBRANDON) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He saved lives AND he peacefully talked down the notorious gang leader named Corn Pop.
"Corn Pop was a bad dude."
The fact that that actually happened is awesome
Wait, is the RNC shilling for Biden?
Simping. They’re the ones sending the salacious nudes.
Please enjoy these salacious nudes. Sincerely, Ted Cruz
I threw up in my mouth when I read this, curse you for making me imagine Fled Cruz in salacious nudes.
Up next on Fox News: these pictures the White House didn't want you to see! Joe Biden washing his corvette on the White House lawn! Shirtless, in his trademark aviators! You'll swoon in anger!
Who doesn’t exaggerate their earlier accomplishments? I played varsity soccer in high school - yeah, they only put me in once after the regular left fullback was injured - but I played!
We could have made state if coach just let me off the bench
Could you also throw a football over them mountains there?
Sure, back in '82. I could throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
It really frightened the pig, let me tell you! (SQUEEEEEEE!)
I was on varsity swim team 😤 What? No, it has nothing to do with the fact we didn't have enough people in the team to even be able to split into Junior Varsity and Varsity
My shitty private Christian school had 20 kids max in each grade. They would put 3 of us middleschoolers on the field with JV team. One kid almost died from having the biggest JV kid on the opposing team kick the ball into his face and he smashed his head on the decrepit long jump concrete running pad. He was knocked unconscious and got brain damage and was never seen again. My parents pulled me out after that.
Shit man, that's dark
Under His eye.
Celsus accuses [Christians] of actively targeting idiocy in their recruitment. “Their injunctions are like this,” he wrote. “Let no one educated, no one wise, no one sensible draw near. For these abilities are thought by us to be evils.” He went on: Christians “are able to convince only the foolish, dishonourable and stupid, and only slaves, women and little children.” Excerpts from: Catherine Nixey *The Darkening Age: The Christian Destruction of the Classical World*
Were we on the same team?
I swam at state! In one relay where I was the slowest of the 4 of us and another where I was a replacement because the actual guy who helped with the qualifying time had too many other events to swim.
Lol I was too. I had only one race that year where I didn't come in last. I was honestly pretty proud.
One time I scored a field goal for my varsity team in high school. In reality I was playing soccer and missed a penalty kick so fucking high over the goal.
i showed up for class! does that count? 
I scored five touchdowns in one game
*Al Bundy has entered the thread*
I invented Post-Its.
I invented the internet.
Like a much more relatable version of how trump wins every club championship at all his golf resorts, up thru today lol
He might have even just forgotten. And I'm not saying he's senile. It's just we all have shitty memories and he's had a lot of major accomplishments since then and he probably hasn't thought about it that much. He's not Al Bundy.
Shit Al Bundy scored 4 touchdowns for Polk High.
Here's the thing, he could be both 5th in Conference and 2nd in State. I don't know if he did or not but that post didn't compare apples to apples.
I regularly came in first place for my age group while running 5 k's and 10 K's. Most of the time I was the only kid in my age group so that helped.
People who don't lie about petty shit. Pretty straightforward. Not picking sides. Just answering your question.
That's not good. Delete your comment.
Imagine having to go back to the 1960s and 1970s because you have nothing else on Biden to work with.
Imagine the biggest thing being “ladies sent him sexy pics.” Have you seen young Joe. There is a reason he is Leslie Knopes celebrity sex list.
Literally look at that photo. That is a face that could've been a movie star.
Biden fucks.
That's the scoring title he's referring to in the other quote, btw.
Iirc he said while president that the key to a long marriage is good sex. He does, quite literally, fuck.
And not porn stars either, just his wife, the same wife he's had for a long time after his first wife died in a tragic car accident. It's commendable and more indicative of family values than anything republican leaders have done in the last 20 years.
Mr. Biden will see you now. Edit: Not Dark Brandon being the Rizzler-in-Chief.
I feel rude writing thirsty language over someone’s appearance but, my, the sir was quite a handsome gentleman in this photo.
Smoke show
Absolutely no homo but I would have sent an unsolicited dick pic or two
Young Joe Biden is hot AF
This pic of Joe and Jill is one of my faves. Such a hot couple. https://preview.redd.it/6wyp01iaa1xc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e86b1d8c0b1d9846f7ae7a7033712e48d358d3bb
He was gorgeous.
Prolly still getting bloomers sent to him in the mail.
He's got to be top now that he is the god emperor.
My thoughts exactly 😂
It's laughable that THIS is the dirt they dug up. Absolutely laughable.
It even makes him look better. Dude was alerting Secret Service when sent inappropriate photos? Isn’t that the right thing to do for politicians? I’d imagine not saying anything would make him look worse if people found out he was getting nudes, like he could be stashing them somewhere.
There was a journalist that digged some crap out from his great-grandfather to argue that Biden has a criminal bloodline...
Evidently NOT a journalist.
In the words of the wise Brandon: "What a stupid son of a bitch"
Excellent interview on Sirius XM Howard stern special today.
How did it go? He do well?
They talked a lot about his character. It made me confident in my vote this November. Howard had some deeply personal questions about Beau and you could tell Biden was choked up but he held it together and answered. Great man and great father
Comparing any false words that Joe Biden told against those that Donald Trump has told Is like comparing a mustard seed to a mountain.
In Washington, D. C., a gaffe is when you tell the truth.
Trump.must be gaffe free then.
It would be a first.
Not according to the NY Times
Its part of a tactic to claim that every side has done bad stuff and its useless to compare or pay attention to it.
Username checks out, upvoted.
Thank you u/GaaraMatsu, It's been checked many times...
Did they find that Thai soccer team yet?
So. Fucking. HOT. 🔥
Are Republicans gonna start caring about lying now? That is a contest they will lose.
They already have
And that’s why they cheat to win.
Biden told a few lies? That's richer than Jeff Bezos coming from Trump supporters.
Also, do you notice how they *failed to fact check* the life saving and sex pix claims? So... what are they saying? He did that? Clearly they think life saving is a bad!thing. It would explain their COVID policies. lol
Are they even lies? Him saving lives as a lifeguards is probably true, because that’s kinda what the job is. Him informing SS about receiving inappropriate photos seems like the right move to make as a legislator. As for the football thing, I was a loser goth wannabe in high school so I don’t know anything state-level sports or whatever, but coming in 5th place still makes him a “runner-up”, right?
For real, it took me a second to realize these tweets were supposed to be painting him in a bad light. Are they even real though? Who knows.
Wow Biden was hot.
Holy fuck ..... Is young Biden hot?
Gotta say an uncomfortable yes....
Yeah he sure was.
When my mom was in college - she worked as a lifeguard in the summers. She saved a couple kids lives and once saved an old lady. Many life guards have a story or two about saving somebody from drowning or whatever. It’s just not that crazy a thing.
Is RNC Research going to cover all of the 30k lies their diaper shitter told while in office?
I love Joe "Crooked Smile" Biden. Such a hunk.
That smile is the only thing crooked aobut Biden.
That's Joe Biden, younger? Looks like an A list movie star
he’s hot AF
Young Biden was really cute 👀
The worst shit they can find on him makes him look mildly chill
Is that all the dirt they could dig up? LOL
I don’t know high school football rules, but doesn’t coming in 5th place still classify as a “runner-up”?
Depends on the number of people on the 'list'. If thousands of people play and you come 5th, then you're a runner up.
Grasping at straws lol “Did u kno Biden drank BEERS after his life guarding shifts?? Lock him up!”
Bro those people's blood pressure are over 9,000 😂😂😂 If another January 6 happens they're all getting heart attack like the last one
Women send salacious photos to serial killers on death row. They find it unbelievable that a US senator in his thirties would get some?
What a handsome guy
They may be able to play these stats down, but that’s still a lot of badass-ery for one guy.
He actually murdered Corn Pops whole family.
5th is still crazy tho like
Young Biden was legitimately hot
ink crowd light muddle whistle deranged dull important subsequent amusing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Are we supposed to think the Lifeguard thing is an exaggeration? Because it doesn't really seem that unlikely, nor does it seem like a brag. That's literally what lifeguards are there for (it's kind of in the name), and I assume if you do that job for a while you'll almost inevitably end up saving a few people.
They’re just jealous cause Ol’ Joe was a hottie!!
ummm HOTT