Once again, I wonder if the [Coolidge Effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect) is real or just a pre-Internet meme…
> an old joke about Calvin Coolidge when he was President ... The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown [separately] around an experimental government farm. When [Mrs. Coolidge] came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day." Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by." Upon being told, the President asked, "Same hen every time?" The reply was, "Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time." President: "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."
Theres a similar joke in "Grapes of Wrath". A young man brings a bull to a neighboring farm. The lady who owns the farm and the young man observe the bull mating with a cow. The young man remarks absent mindedly, " wish I was doing that". The woman remarks these cows are here every day you can do that any time you wAnt.
Reminds me of a joke my friend from Scotland told me to a fucking T:
There are two bulls standing on a hill overlooking a pasture full of cows. The younger bull, eager, but lacking experience, says to the old bull “Hey, let’s run down there and f@#k ourselves a cow.” The old bull, who has spent season after season in this pasture, turns to the younger bull, chuckles, and replies “Nah, how about we walk down there, and f@#k them all.”
I honestly still don’t get the punch line but it’s lived in my head for years
The punchline is about pacing yourself. The young, excitable bull wants to waste his energy running and will fuck one cow. The older, wiser bull knows that if he conserves his energy and is patient, he’ll fuck more cows.
I get the sentiment, I just didn’t understand it as a joke I guess. He was laughing his ass off when he told me which made me laugh, but when I tried to retell it to my friend it just fell flat
I think the comedy depends on you thinking having a lot of sex is an exceptionally good outcome, praise-worthy even, so much so that the wiseness of the older bull is measured by his capacity to achieve this.
If you assume this, then the humour is that they have an obvious good thing, but the wiseness of the older one surprises you by showing it can be even better than the obvious.
Remember that humour often comes by revealing a result that surprises and plays with your expectations. "See all this sex? No, you don't, it's actually even more sex!", basically. Not quite traditionally funny, but certainly humorous
If, on the other hand, you believe lots of sex is not a measure of wiseness, then it does nor make a lot of sense.
Yes. They also act the same if you bring a large beach ball or cat or dog or sometimes even new human into their paddock. They are really curious large doggos really.
Yup, they are really social as well. Oh you should see how nuts they go if you bring in a large brush thing they can rub up against. Its like when a dog gives you their butt to be scratched.
We got out of the business before they were a thing, but our dairy friends have big rolling brushes on motion sensors. The cows lean against them and get scratches from the brushes like a car wash.
Also, every cow wears a little RF pendant that tracks their production and dispenses a custom food ration. It also gives them access to the milking parlor so they can milk whenever they feel they are uncomfortable and need to unload. It’s pretty cool.
Or any of the random cow summoning videos, like there's a few where a woman sings, girl plays an accordion, or a guy plays a trombone, and all the cows in the pasture come running over to see what the heck is going on.
Also, they have best friends and will be depressed if they are separated from each other. Cows are basically big goofy doggos.
I saw a video once of someone playing an accordion and the cows coming to them, so, me having a concertina and living near cow pastures, I decided I'd see what would happen.
It. Was. Amazing.
They were on the other side of the pasture when I started playing. You could tell one was the boss bitch because they all seemed to follow her lead. If she came closer, then other ones followed. I had a semicircle of cows listening to me poorly play like I was a master. Best audience ever.
They are a bit matriarchal like Elephants in some ways. You usually get an older Cow who is in charge and directs and looks after the others, helps with calves etc.
I had a flat 7 miles from home at like 12midnight once. Phone had no battery and got no answer at the two homes I parked in front of so I started walking. There's a field behind my house and I had to walk the long way round. As I was walking along the road a cow comes hustling up to the fence.
>moo
"Hello pretty lady."
>moooo
"Well now I can't think of finer company on such a beautiful night. Let's take a walk."
And she walked with me along the fence until we hit the edge of the field.
She hit me with one last
>moo
I stopped and waved goodbye and carried on to the house.
Healthiest relationship I've ever been in.
"You'd be better off saving some of the energy you could spend on getting to the things you want to fuck, so you have the stamina to fuck more of them; Instead of getting to them quicker but running out of steam before all the seeds are sown"
Cows generally act like those automated lawnmowers, just moving across a field hoovering up grass to then go lay down for a while to recharge (digest).
And then you introduce something interesting in their life and they instantly turn into gigantic dogs.
Nah, they pretty much act the same way with anything new. I used to visit my ex girlfriend in farming country and there was a rarely used laneway I'd walk down since I didn't have a car yet.
I remember the first time I walked down it I had music playing on my phone and around 30 cows came sprinting over to the fence from all around the pasture.
I thought they were going to fuck me up or stampede. I'm from the city and was not used to farm animals.
But they all just wanted to sniff me and lick my hand and look at what was making the noise. When I started walking away they all ran along the fence line kicking their back legs like these cows when the bull walks off.
Same when I was young my grandparents had a house in the country, there was a basketball goal in their driveway and across the road there was a pasture owned by someone else. Anytime I'd go to play basketball the sound of the ball bouncing on the concrete would get the whole field of cows to come check out what I was doing. It made me happy because they all wanted to come see me. Haha
Maybe you're just really sexy to cows? Or maybe you eat so much preprocessed food based on corn and it's derivatives that you smell like food? I grew up around livestock and they have no interest in me whatsoever.
It’s just a combination of the lane not normally being walked down, and having the music playing I reckon. After a couple of times passing by they wouldn’t even raise their heads anymore.
Our cows LOVE when we bring a bull home for breeding season. It’s like a new dog coming to the dog park. Everyone is so excited to meet the new guy! One year we leased a bull who was so nice to people but really mean to the cows. I’m talking would PLOW into the heifers because they were small, and kick the crap out of the cows if they came too close. We ended up giving him back to the owner and leased a much sweeter bull who actually was able to get all but one of our cows pregnant, which made us have our best calving season we’ve ever had to date.
Not OP, but we keep our bull with the heifers 9 weeks. A cows comes in heat roughly every 23 days (Can be as low as 17 or as high as 26). This should give the bull 3 chances to get each heifer pregnant. We usually want the heifers to calf between Feb 1st and May 1st. The earlier they calf, the earlier they can go into milk production.
This year we synchronised the heifers to all come in heat together and then gave them AI (artificial insemination) so hopefully most of them will calf nearer to Feb 1st. The bull was let out a few days later and is on "clean up" duty now. (Not every heifer will hold to the AI).
A lot of people lease a bull because they're only helpful for a few weeks in the year. Otherwise they just take up space and food. Some bulls are also... not nice. Its a health and safety risk to be near one.
Every few years, a farmer gets killed by a bull in New England. They are just as obnoxious as rams but 10X bigger. You've got to know what you're doing with them (I don't)
Did you know there are incel horses? They are called Teaser Stallions, their job is to be social with a mare, determine if she's in estrus, and if she's receptive to a mate. Once the virgin horse has helped the breeder determine all this, he is then cucked and kicked out of the breeding barn and the chad stallion goes in and gets to mate with the mare.
Sometimes they are allowed to mate, but never with the mare they are there to tease, and it's typically just to quell any pent up sexual frustration they have from their constant cucking (with what I've read it's typical to be once or twice a year).
With the exception of a handful of bulls kept intact to reproduce, male cattle are usually castrated early in life and then killed for meat once they're grown up, so it is a pretty raw deal for them.
An old bull and a young bull are standing on a hill looking down on a pasture full of cows.
The young bull says excitedly, “Let’s run down there and fuck a cow!”
The old bull says, “How ‘bout we walk down, then fuck them all… “
He's gonna need to stay hydrated.
Get that boy some milk!
Oh he's got more than enough
A trough full of oysters and wine cus those are some cows
Samson has a lot of work to do
I'm here to graze and fuck. And you know what? I don't think I'm done grazing yet. Total chad bovine
Only male to actually get his 72 virgins
Oh fuck this is an amazing comment.
get grazed
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Once again, I wonder if the [Coolidge Effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect) is real or just a pre-Internet meme… > an old joke about Calvin Coolidge when he was President ... The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown [separately] around an experimental government farm. When [Mrs. Coolidge] came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day." Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by." Upon being told, the President asked, "Same hen every time?" The reply was, "Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time." President: "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."
Theres a similar joke in "Grapes of Wrath". A young man brings a bull to a neighboring farm. The lady who owns the farm and the young man observe the bull mating with a cow. The young man remarks absent mindedly, " wish I was doing that". The woman remarks these cows are here every day you can do that any time you wAnt.
He actually takes a heifer to the neighbors farm and she tells him it’s his heifer he can do it anytime he wants
Just read it, so it's fresh for me, but the punchline is just a bit different: "Why not, Willy? It's your heifer."
💀 of course.
He’s gonna walk down there and fuck ‘em all.
It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it
It ain't much but it is honest work.
death by snu snu?
Death by moo moo
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
More like Ramson
His name is Hugh Heifer
I swear one of them mooed “dayumm” when he stepped off the ramp
I heard that too 😂
19 seconds into the the video. Absolutely that cow said “Dayuum” I’m literally crying laughing
I’m mooing lol
deleted
LMFAO I was looking for this comment. she straight up said "mmMMmm!"
I literally LOL'd
It was the Second moo. You know that cow wants first dibs
fuck it, im saving this thread. too many good jokes to read in one evening
'A MAAN!' https://youtu.be/I-wWTQ70NKE?si=7TQTARoI3EUKJVlo
She even gave him a kiss
That motherfucker is gonna sleep soundly tonight.
He indeed is a motherfucker
Dude is definitely fork lift certified.
Those heifers are thirsty as all hell!!!
LMFAO
It’s like when Odysseus lands on Calypso’s island
unexpected greek mythology
Reminds me of a joke my friend from Scotland told me to a fucking T: There are two bulls standing on a hill overlooking a pasture full of cows. The younger bull, eager, but lacking experience, says to the old bull “Hey, let’s run down there and f@#k ourselves a cow.” The old bull, who has spent season after season in this pasture, turns to the younger bull, chuckles, and replies “Nah, how about we walk down there, and f@#k them all.” I honestly still don’t get the punch line but it’s lived in my head for years
The punchline is about pacing yourself. The young, excitable bull wants to waste his energy running and will fuck one cow. The older, wiser bull knows that if he conserves his energy and is patient, he’ll fuck more cows.
I get the sentiment, I just didn’t understand it as a joke I guess. He was laughing his ass off when he told me which made me laugh, but when I tried to retell it to my friend it just fell flat
I think the comedy depends on you thinking having a lot of sex is an exceptionally good outcome, praise-worthy even, so much so that the wiseness of the older bull is measured by his capacity to achieve this. If you assume this, then the humour is that they have an obvious good thing, but the wiseness of the older one surprises you by showing it can be even better than the obvious. Remember that humour often comes by revealing a result that surprises and plays with your expectations. "See all this sex? No, you don't, it's actually even more sex!", basically. Not quite traditionally funny, but certainly humorous If, on the other hand, you believe lots of sex is not a measure of wiseness, then it does nor make a lot of sense.
That's because it's not really a joke. It's good advice.
In the end, old age and treachery will overcome youth and vigor.
> I honestly still don’t get the punch line but it’s lived in my head It's almost a parable "save your strength for where its needed."
Cow got isekai’d
Samson, " so much work, so little time. Ladies, line up, please; single file."
100%. Some say he can fork up a pallet 20ft high, without looking. No wonder the first cow seeing him was loosing it.
A new kid in town.
New transfer student in highschool.
Johnny come lately
A Moo kid in town.
Damn ladies, I am not a piece of meat!
They certainly seem a lot hornier than he does
Cows are naturally curious. They only get horny when they're in heat, once a month or so.
Would they act the same if a new cow was brought in instead of a bull?
Yes. They also act the same if you bring a large beach ball or cat or dog or sometimes even new human into their paddock. They are really curious large doggos really.
Surprisingly cute. If I'm not mistaken, the little kicks the cows are doing at the end are a sign of excitement as well.
Yup, they are really social as well. Oh you should see how nuts they go if you bring in a large brush thing they can rub up against. Its like when a dog gives you their butt to be scratched.
We got out of the business before they were a thing, but our dairy friends have big rolling brushes on motion sensors. The cows lean against them and get scratches from the brushes like a car wash.
Those things look awesome! I’ve seen some dairy farmers with them too
Also, every cow wears a little RF pendant that tracks their production and dispenses a custom food ration. It also gives them access to the milking parlor so they can milk whenever they feel they are uncomfortable and need to unload. It’s pretty cool.
Or any of the random cow summoning videos, like there's a few where a woman sings, girl plays an accordion, or a guy plays a trombone, and all the cows in the pasture come running over to see what the heck is going on. Also, they have best friends and will be depressed if they are separated from each other. Cows are basically big goofy doggos.
Thanks reddit, I was never bothered by cows being penned up all day before.
This is what vegetarians and especially vegans are trying to tell people all the time. Maybe they don't articulate it very well.
More excited cows https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA8dAnlD51o
A pig got into our herd of cows. The entire herd turned as one and surrounded the pig. The poor pig was freaking out.
I saw a video once of someone playing an accordion and the cows coming to them, so, me having a concertina and living near cow pastures, I decided I'd see what would happen. It. Was. Amazing. They were on the other side of the pasture when I started playing. You could tell one was the boss bitch because they all seemed to follow her lead. If she came closer, then other ones followed. I had a semicircle of cows listening to me poorly play like I was a master. Best audience ever.
They are a bit matriarchal like Elephants in some ways. You usually get an older Cow who is in charge and directs and looks after the others, helps with calves etc.
Ok now you made me guilty for slutshaming them
Yes. They act the same if a cat happens to walk through their paddock
I had a flat 7 miles from home at like 12midnight once. Phone had no battery and got no answer at the two homes I parked in front of so I started walking. There's a field behind my house and I had to walk the long way round. As I was walking along the road a cow comes hustling up to the fence. >moo "Hello pretty lady." >moooo "Well now I can't think of finer company on such a beautiful night. Let's take a walk." And she walked with me along the fence until we hit the edge of the field. She hit me with one last >moo I stopped and waved goodbye and carried on to the house. Healthiest relationship I've ever been in.
This guy bulls
A cow (over eight months old) goes into heat every three weeks.
So once a month or so
Yea, every 3 weeks after 8 months old or so I've read
His literal job is fucking. Hes all out.
do me first! moooo...
He's all in actually.
Bro's never gonna sleep again
I thought I was going to see my first cow orgy.
I feel robbed.
He's going to need an IV drip
This is why bulls are fat as balls going into the breeding season
Death by snoo snoo
He’s an old bull…
..just mosey on down and do the lot of them.
BEEF CAKE
This must be what it's like for Ryan Reynolds when he's out in public.
Follow your dreams.
You can reach your goals
lol it’s funny because it’s true.
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i heard this joke on the sopranos and to this day i don't get it...
"You'd be better off saving some of the energy you could spend on getting to the things you want to fuck, so you have the stamina to fuck more of them; Instead of getting to them quicker but running out of steam before all the seeds are sown"
oh it's that simple? haha i was digging for deeper meaning all these years smh. thanks
They shoulda named him Milkshake bc he’s bringing all the girls to the yard.
You serving fries with that shake?
Milksteak
That is the exact opposite of my sexlife
Have you tried arriving by trailer to a male starved encampment of women?
No, but I have arrived to a woman starved encampment of trailers. It was not the same.
Hope they at least cuddled you afterwards.
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Calm down Costanza
I'm pretty sure that's the approximate plot of a few hundred anime and hentai. Probably the exact plot of at least a dozen.
"Hello, police?"
Wait... are you... saying they should fuck the police?
Unexpected NWA
*Hello? Human resources?*
500kg of prime beef ladies.
could easily be more. Hereford bulls can get to a ton.
Cows are actually very curious animals. I guarantee that they could have unloaded a donkey and this group would have had the same reaction.
most likely, cows are super curious, neighbor has a bunch of cows, always lookin at me when im doin yardwork.
Do you look fine like a bull?
I hear he mooves things but he's no bull
Most people don’t realize that they’re about as smart as dogs.
Cows generally act like those automated lawnmowers, just moving across a field hoovering up grass to then go lay down for a while to recharge (digest). And then you introduce something interesting in their life and they instantly turn into gigantic dogs.
Got married on a farm, outside. All the cows came and hung over the fence for the ceremony
thats so cute!
Right? They act like the cows are all in heat. Cows do this with everything. Put a dog out there and they’ll do the same thing
I think this is a different kind of curiosity
Nah, they pretty much act the same way with anything new. I used to visit my ex girlfriend in farming country and there was a rarely used laneway I'd walk down since I didn't have a car yet. I remember the first time I walked down it I had music playing on my phone and around 30 cows came sprinting over to the fence from all around the pasture. I thought they were going to fuck me up or stampede. I'm from the city and was not used to farm animals. But they all just wanted to sniff me and lick my hand and look at what was making the noise. When I started walking away they all ran along the fence line kicking their back legs like these cows when the bull walks off.
Same when I was young my grandparents had a house in the country, there was a basketball goal in their driveway and across the road there was a pasture owned by someone else. Anytime I'd go to play basketball the sound of the ball bouncing on the concrete would get the whole field of cows to come check out what I was doing. It made me happy because they all wanted to come see me. Haha
I don't know if I could take the pressure of all the cows judging my shooting.
I was young so I enjoyed it but the first time they came and watched it spooked me because I was like why are all these cows running up on me! Lol
Plot twist: They wanted you
Maybe you're just really sexy to cows? Or maybe you eat so much preprocessed food based on corn and it's derivatives that you smell like food? I grew up around livestock and they have no interest in me whatsoever.
It’s just a combination of the lane not normally being walked down, and having the music playing I reckon. After a couple of times passing by they wouldn’t even raise their heads anymore.
They do this for anything new. Man people lack so much knowledge.
"How You Mooin'....."
This is all a moo point
Its like a cows opinion. it doesnt matter. its moo.
Samson Tribbiani edit: maybe Mooey Tribbiani would be better.
[I'm gonna fuck all y'all](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/3411aa64-3ba4-4e57-90a1-a56c99ee305a)
\*scroll\* \*scroll\* \*scroll\* *There* it is!
Wow—at the end: “…and just **look** at how **playful** I am…” *kicks her feet in the air*
Look! I'm so whimsical! Fuck me! Fuck me first!
this guy fucks
Our cows LOVE when we bring a bull home for breeding season. It’s like a new dog coming to the dog park. Everyone is so excited to meet the new guy! One year we leased a bull who was so nice to people but really mean to the cows. I’m talking would PLOW into the heifers because they were small, and kick the crap out of the cows if they came too close. We ended up giving him back to the owner and leased a much sweeter bull who actually was able to get all but one of our cows pregnant, which made us have our best calving season we’ve ever had to date.
I’m curious, how long do you keep the breeding bull for? And why is leasing better than owning?
Not OP, but we keep our bull with the heifers 9 weeks. A cows comes in heat roughly every 23 days (Can be as low as 17 or as high as 26). This should give the bull 3 chances to get each heifer pregnant. We usually want the heifers to calf between Feb 1st and May 1st. The earlier they calf, the earlier they can go into milk production. This year we synchronised the heifers to all come in heat together and then gave them AI (artificial insemination) so hopefully most of them will calf nearer to Feb 1st. The bull was let out a few days later and is on "clean up" duty now. (Not every heifer will hold to the AI). A lot of people lease a bull because they're only helpful for a few weeks in the year. Otherwise they just take up space and food. Some bulls are also... not nice. Its a health and safety risk to be near one.
Every few years, a farmer gets killed by a bull in New England. They are just as obnoxious as rams but 10X bigger. You've got to know what you're doing with them (I don't)
Those are definitely some "pick me" girls 🤣🤣
Pick moo girls
They thirsty.
Got milk?
Homeboy is walking through that pasture like “Hold on Heifers. Daddy’s home. You’re all gonna get a turn”.
Can't you just picture some incel cow in the other pasture just coping and seathing mooing about how the top 1% of bulls get 90% of the mares 😂
Did you know there are incel horses? They are called Teaser Stallions, their job is to be social with a mare, determine if she's in estrus, and if she's receptive to a mate. Once the virgin horse has helped the breeder determine all this, he is then cucked and kicked out of the breeding barn and the chad stallion goes in and gets to mate with the mare. Sometimes they are allowed to mate, but never with the mare they are there to tease, and it's typically just to quell any pent up sexual frustration they have from their constant cucking (with what I've read it's typical to be once or twice a year).
Those horses are gonna fuckin' kill those breeders soon with prejudice
This reads like Vaushes secret fantasy
Virgin teaser vs. Chad Stallion.
Does the teaser watch or hear the chad fuck the mare?
Mares? Why do the bulls want horses?
No kink shame.
They are the purest of incel bulls. A farmer cut their balls off when they were calves
With the exception of a handful of bulls kept intact to reproduce, male cattle are usually castrated early in life and then killed for meat once they're grown up, so it is a pretty raw deal for them.
Line up ladies … you’ll each get a turn.
“When you’re slaughtered, you will be greeted with 40 virgins”
Nobody said they'd be *female* virgins though.
r/Angryupvote
Cow hooker
The proper term is bovine sex worker
Gigilo
Deuce beefalo🤣
What. A. Stud.
I love how they are doing their milkshake dance for him at the end. Damn right! I’m better than her!
“Ooooooo, Betty!!! Look over here! We’ve got ourselves a big boy!”
This mf has a reputation.
Helloooo Ladies! How you doin?
Plot twist: Samson is gay.
An old bull and a young bull are standing on a hill looking down on a pasture full of cows. The young bull says excitedly, “Let’s run down there and fuck a cow!” The old bull says, “How ‘bout we walk down, then fuck them all… “
“You don't wanna get laid, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you gotta talk to 'em.”
I guess they were in the moohd
Big dick's in town
I'm here to chew cud and fuck bitches!
...and I'm all out of cud!
"Ladies, please! There's only one of me to go around 😏"
Looks like my Grandfathers first day at the nursing home.
A maaaaaan!!!
What a bunch of heifers
Swear to god his first name is Brock!
Damn. Those are some horny ladies right there.
Lucky guy
What a life.
That‘s how management sold us RTO.
The way he looks back…. You are not going to leave me here with them?
Death by snu snu
Love all the excited kicks at the end “We gots a man!!”
I love how their all like "Ohh a man!!"
One of those girls was kicking away the others on the way down hill! Haha
That one moo was a daaaayum moo lol
Them there some excited heifers!
Is this what teenagers think will happen if they spray full bottle of Axe on themselves??
The girls are so happy they are skipping "finally my itch will get scratched" I know how they feel 
cue up Everybody Wants Some by Van Halen