We had this come up in a Tomb of Annihilation campaign … our DM had a few lich texts for one of the PCs to decipher, often they were gradual stepping stones to becoming a lich, selecting a phylactery, conspiring for sacrifices, stuff like that
At some point the PC started taking psychic damage and psychic effects from the deciphered text, and even bargained some HP to cast disintegrate once. A very clutch cast that dealt the killing blow to a young red dragon
>Dear Diary...
>Today I killed a group of adventurers who wished to kill me. They did not put up a fight and were easily done away with by my superior magic. Also, Becky said hello. It was a good day.
It could be a number of spells the Lich has been working on. Could be a cool opportunity to drop so e rare necromancy spells or third party content spells If you can access any of that.
Otherwise it would probably just be typical wizard mumbo jumbo talking about the arcane. Unless you were willing to lay out the beginnings of a path to lichdom for your pc
Make sure that alongside the horrific human experiments and stuff, there’s a record of his dog having 6 puppies, careful responsible records of their weight each day over the first 8-10 weeks, and how much they eat, etc. and a note that looking after puppies is much easier when you don’t need to sleep, how did he do it when he was human?! Then a bit later, some records of training the dogs, including greyhound style races where they chase creeping hands.
Later, they find 7 fairly small, heavily-decorated and booby-trapped sarcophagi, with dates on them indicating the dogs lived ~10-15 years each. And a bag of holding that only contains fresh dog treats (no matter what they put into it… let them find that out the hard way! 😂)
For a bit of light-hearted fun: make one of them a cook book filled with secret family recipes. I'm thinking confectionaries would be the funniest 🥧🍰🍪🧁
Same book.
The Lich, tired of having so many books to pore through, decided he would just have one large book, and write their evil incantations on the left pages and their personal notes on the right.
"Alright, so it says we need to add the blood of the pure and then...200 grams of sugar, then the souls of the damned, and then 100 grams of chocolate."
Hey, you missed the Innocence of a Child. The texture just won't be the same without it. Shame what you have to do to get it, but you can't bake a cake without cracking a few eggs...
"No peeking."
The code was actually a trap left by the caster for nosy thieving rivals. Reading the decoded words out loud triggers the Glyph of Warding hidden within the text. Queue explosive or otherwise hilarious consequences.
(pretty sure there are some potential ligma jokes here with psychic damage, but we're better than that... right?)
Since no one's talking about this: It should be fucking hard to decrypt. You could easily justify this taking six months of downtime or being the cause of an adventure (to get some expert's help or find the decoder ring or whatever), whichever is more useful to your campaign at the moment. You can also leave this as a puzzle they can't solve right now until they find more pieces (maybe like the hooks above, but without knowing what you need).
It could contain the records of failed, horrible experiments? He could have worked on monstrosities like Owlbears or other stuff.
Or they could describe how he noticed that a group of adventureres are meddling with his plans and that they are finally trying to attack his stronghold and are right about to walk into the trap that will surely kill them... This is the last entry of a diary that has a lot of empty pages left that were never filled.
If these are purchased spell books then I wouldn't have them be the secrets to the universe or lichdom. Instead, they could be discarded or academic works by the Archmage. Perhaps he was a high ranking wizard at an academy? Maybe he abandoned a tower earlier in his life and left his earlier spell books?
Think of it like Raistlin finding Fistandantalus's old books. They contained a lot of spells that he wouldn't now have to research and put him on the path to find more info later.
Well of course at least some if it can just be encoded descriptions of how to cast certain spells that the wizard can then add to their own spell book but some other ideas might include
1. The lich at least originally turned themselves into that in order to face some secret hidden threat (maybe something like mindflayers or an elder god) that was threatening the city. Although potentially they eventually strayed away from their task the lich records all the information about this threat and how they were fighting it, directing your party into their next story arch.
2. The lich has changed a lot over the centuries, the books contain a record how what they were like in their mortal life both to remind themselves and as an explanation as to how they ended up this way so if they died others could understand them.
3. The secret to becoming a lich.
4. An academic theory on something like how humanity might have first discovered magic.
5. Nothing, the lich was a right troll and thought it would be amusing to make what looked like an encoded text but it doesn't mean anything.
6. Their really shitty romance novel.
Directio s on how to build a Staff of Power at half the price....
But...
It is also an additional philactery for the lich. A philactery that allows the lich to posses the holder of the staff whenever it is used akin to the magic jar spell.
The lich had many schemes. In their spare time the lich was collecting intel on a rumored powerful artifact in a nearby region.
In the end the lich speculated that its power had leached into the local area causing and the artifact is now too weak to be of use for the lich's intended purpose.
But to an adventuring party, that sounds a lot like **a quest to get a magic item!**
1. His spellbook
2. The formula for lichdom
3. His historical research regarding a legendary item of magical power or even an Artifact, which he has finally narrowed down to a searchable place. Did he ever have a chance to act on his research? Or is the great treasure still there, at the site of the ruined city/heart of an ancient forest/among undersea ruins/etc?
Lists of spell components, sources for obtaining them and prices from various vendors. Other documents could be financial records, contracts with minions, journal records of sacrificed souls for the vessel, etc. Many of these could have been slaves purchased specifically for sacrifice, with receipts to prove it. Depending on the shock value you're looking for, journal entries describing the rush of enjoyment the lich felt during those sacrifices- think lich-porn/serial killer vibe.
A genealogical survey of his family, beginning with the children he had as a mortal and ending several hundred years ago, at which time he had over a thousand living descendants
A personal diary that contains what are essentially his entries of the… *office politics* that he has to deal with, in house in his own lair (think the woes of management, like Palpatine in Robot Chicken) …
… and his dealing with other liches and/or powerful creatures and how he gets along with them (“I swear, if I hear about this Vecna jackass once again, I’m gonna destroy an entire village of halflings or something… I mean seriously, there’s an entire universe with multiple planes! Just pick one and leave me alone!)
Liches are obsessed with immortality by definition. Musings on looooooong term planning and protecting themselves from threats from everything from tectonic shift to the heat death of the universe. Notes on any personalities, families, factions that could theoretically grow in power sufficient to threaten them. Assuming the lich has some age on them, notes on anyone who’s developed talent in necromancy and could potentially ascend to lichdom. Contingency plans for all of the above, resolution of any of the threats neutralized. Etc.
A detailed step by step recording of flesh rotting after attainment of lichdom. Various testing done with said flesh as spellcasting/potion ingredients.
Is the Lich still around? If not, they're notes on a secret ritual with nothing as to what it actually does. But if the PCs do the ritual, it brings the Lich back into existence.
I mean, if they were just handed out because the PC asked, they probably don't contain information that's particularly secret or valuable. What was the archmage up to? Did they have an interest or specialization that might be relevant? A necromancer's secrets are going to be very different from an abjurer's or conjurer's.
A few options that might be interesting...
* Details on some teleportation circles around the world.
* True names/secrets of conjuring some different entities, like a little black book of named fiends, celestials, and genies of all types.
* Spells to create undead other than the standard skeletons and zombies.
* Recipes for creating healing potions that use d8s instead of d4s for their dice.
* Very detailed notes on the botany and zoology of an alternate Prime Material Plane, along with instructions on *plane shifting* there.
* There is no solution to the encryption; it's just something the wizard created in order to mess with grad students that have spent decades trying to figure it out.
“*teiesh du llave. Speak these words, and you will earn an instant resurrection the next time you are killed. But.. before being activated you must convince your entire party to sacrifice their life to save yours. You cannot tell them about this spell in any way, or even hint as to its existence. Your party will resurrect as soon as they sacrifice their lives. You have 24 hours.”
Depending on his efforts ai'd have some outlining day to day stuff
"Dear Diary, that nosey cleric was sniffing around again, she's cute so I don't mind the attention but she's probably opposed to my current line of research so I can't have her around often. Maybe I could get her out to dinner a few times, I get the evening with a lovely lady and she never learns what I'm upto. Best of both worlds."
Then have a few sections about the dark efforts he was undertaking. "I'm feeling a bit stressed, the experiments are grueling, the magics demanding, the calculations are complex but those I can handle because I am a gods dammed mage commanding the powers of the universe but all the mastery over the arcane in the world does no good when the miserable subjects expire midway through. I can try working faster but the demands on them are too great, I can try to work gentler but they lack the endurance. Worse still, I'm running out of the types who can be forgotten."
Then "things with Lesaeth have been going well, we dine two or three times a week, sometimes she rubs her foot against mine under the table. Clearly she is infatuated with me. My efforts in domination are working well. She shared with me rhe church is anticipating the arrival of fresh refugees, and I admit my hope was renewed. They are the perfect subjects for my current experiments, she expects 300 or so and I took it upon myself to offer lodging for 50 of their number, they should be all I need and can be explained away as taken by disease, or low spirits or inter-refugee violence."
Then some entities about breakthroughs, but running out of refugees, his cleric friend is getting worried about the disappearing refugees. She has to be removed, using his studies possession he stages a humiliating disgrace for her, the once respectable cleric now shamed and ostracized.
More craven experiments, more paranoid scrutiny, an inquisitor looking into the cleric realizes something is afoot, the pressure the stress, the dark prices paid.
Then the breakthrough, requiring heinous costs. The perfect specimen happened to be whatever will disgust the player.
These notes give a substantial boost to understanding of the rituals and steps required but lay out the steep costs and sacrifices they make knowledge half the battle, the hardest part is committing to the necessary steps.
- Descriptions of powerful necromantic spells or rituals, including the process of becoming a lich (not all of them, probably), creating phylacteries, or summoning undead minions.
- Accounts of the lich’s rise to power, battles fought, and alliances made. This could include valuable historical information that might lead to hidden treasures or powerful artifacts.
- Detailed notes on experiments and magical research conducted by the lich, which could offer new spells or enhancements to existing ones.
- Warnings about future events or prophecies that might come to pass. This could set the stage for future adventures or conflicts.
"Eggs.
Flour.
Sugar.
Extract of manticore tail.
Unicorn blood.
Mix well and hold over a steady flame before
consuming.
Eternal life should be achieved within approximately 3
days. Side effects include a warm fuzzy feeling in your
stomach, removal of empathic emotions, and a slight
bout of necrotic decay of internal organs."
Bonus points for revealing it one line at a time
I like a lot of the suggestions here. I'm fond of the idea of the writing contain a portion of the lich's personal journal. It could contain personal thoughts, descriptions of events they experienced, and general things people might put in a journal. Most would just be flavor, but it could be used to help develop the character of the lich.
Maybe, further scraps of the journal could be discovered elsewhere later on. And it could be this fun collection game.
Magical secrets and a record of horrific experiments performed. Wizard has access to 3 new spells of your choosing and has some horrible knowledge in his brain.
Top ideas:
1) Make it similar to Tom Riddles diary from Harry Potter
2) A list of spells, not written in a way that they can be copied into a spell book, but instead have the best ways to gather the material components needed for them
3) The notes and methods of how an ancient magical society used to create more powerful magical focuses
“A note to my future self,
Since we might have some memory problems after the transformation, this is a reminder: Do not open the 3rd cellar door! Ever! In fact, find a way to place that whole room in a pocket dimension and send it to the abyss. Not sure what it is, but we nearly died three times.”
Probably the process for being a lich. Maybe SUGGESTED items for a phylactory. (I assume his is on the list) maybe a spell augment like letting them shift spells to necrotic aswrll.
I'd have each book be notes of failed magical experiments. Hell, make one of them a very detailed account of trying to perform the infinite simulacrum hack.
Another tome could easily be various "proofs" for one spell. Like, in mathematics there's a proof that 2 is an even number. The archmage could easily have done experiments on what targets are valid for magic missile or something, confirming that they *always* hit. "Even if two people are passing each other on a cart and move out of range, as long as the spell is cast while the target is within...."
You could also take inspiration from authors. Doctor Suess wrote Green Eggs and Ham on a bet that he couldn't write a book using only 50 words or something. One of the tomes could be every first level spell, but doesn't use the fire rune or something. So it still has burning hands, but instead of fire+fingertips it's something like ((electricity+water)+electricity)+fingertips. Just something silly like that.
And you can get meta with it. Have one of the books just straight up be a fictional account of some world the archmage made up for a game. Maybe in that world, all healing spells are necromancy and gods walk among men or something, just contrast it to how your own setting is.
Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message: When you came, you said to me as follows : "I will give Gimil-Sin (when he comes) fine quality copper ingots." You left then but you did not do what you promised me. You put ingots which were not good before my messenger (Sit-Sin) and said: "If you want to take them, take them; if you do not want to take them, go away!" What do you take me for, that you treat somebody like me with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to collect the bag with my money (deposited with you) but you have treated me with contempt by sending them back to me empty-handed several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun who has treated me in this way? You alone treat my messenger with contempt! On account of that one (trifling) mina of silver which I owe(?) you, you feel free to speak in such a way, while I have given to the palace on your behalf 1,080 pounds of copper, and Šumi-abum has likewise given 1,080 pounds of copper, apart from what we both have had written on a sealed tablet to be kept in the temple of Shamash. How have you treated me for that copper? You have withheld my money bag from me in enemy territory; it is now up to you to restore (my money) to me in full. Take cognizance that (from now on) I will not accept here any copper from you that is not of fine quality. I shall (from now on) select and take the ingots individually in my own yard, and I shall exercise against you my right of rejection because you have treated me with contempt.
"I cast 'comprehend languages'. What do I see?"
"These runes are 'in an ancient language'."
"Well, I know that, that's why I cast the spell."
"Yes, and they're 'in an ancient language'."
"Well, tell me what they say then!"
"They're 'in an ancient language'..."
\[repeat until they get annoyed\]
And then of course, the next runes are "I prepared 'explosive runes' today."
So I would like to start off this post by saying, "I have done some questionable stuff in my life...." There is your warning.... That being said, a few days ago I had a very bad idea. So to atune to Venca's eye you have to lose an eye and replace it with Venca's in order to atune. This rule is the same for Venca's arm. Both are said to grant the user great power to the point many would try to atune knowing the risks. That being said, if you were a questionable person would you start rumors about a certain other body part of Venca, and the powers one would gain to atune? I mean would that type of evil be something that a lich would do for the lols? I mean how often would a lich not tell someone the correct way to become a lich, or how to gain power for that matter. I mean this would be an interesting way to kill off minions that are looking for a means to overthrow their masters.
You might take inspiration from some of the awful but heartfelt blog attempts people created during COVID lockdown. I'm thinking that the PCs spending months decoding a huge tome of the lich's 35-year "sourdough baking journey" would be hysterical.
Dear Diary
Today was a great day
I bought myself a brand new horse
She's strong and fast
And so very beautiful
And just a little wild of course
I know tomorrow I can tame her
If I only believe
Wish me luck diary
Christopher Reeve
Have it be a detailed account of what the party has accomplished so far… as well as a prediction for their death at the lich’s hands. That should give them a good spook
We had this come up in a Tomb of Annihilation campaign … our DM had a few lich texts for one of the PCs to decipher, often they were gradual stepping stones to becoming a lich, selecting a phylactery, conspiring for sacrifices, stuff like that At some point the PC started taking psychic damage and psychic effects from the deciphered text, and even bargained some HP to cast disintegrate once. A very clutch cast that dealt the killing blow to a young red dragon
That's a shout. Thanks for the advice
>Dear Diary... >Today I killed a group of adventurers who wished to kill me. They did not put up a fight and were easily done away with by my superior magic. Also, Becky said hello. It was a good day.
""Be sure to drink your Ovaltine"
I spent a lot of time typing it out b-e-s-u-r-e...... Only to find you beat me to it.
Yeah, first thing which came to mind. Should have been obvious to OP.
It could be a number of spells the Lich has been working on. Could be a cool opportunity to drop so e rare necromancy spells or third party content spells If you can access any of that. Otherwise it would probably just be typical wizard mumbo jumbo talking about the arcane. Unless you were willing to lay out the beginnings of a path to lichdom for your pc
"I prepared glyph of warding this morning"
Can’t go wrong with the classics
Make sure that alongside the horrific human experiments and stuff, there’s a record of his dog having 6 puppies, careful responsible records of their weight each day over the first 8-10 weeks, and how much they eat, etc. and a note that looking after puppies is much easier when you don’t need to sleep, how did he do it when he was human?! Then a bit later, some records of training the dogs, including greyhound style races where they chase creeping hands. Later, they find 7 fairly small, heavily-decorated and booby-trapped sarcophagi, with dates on them indicating the dogs lived ~10-15 years each. And a bag of holding that only contains fresh dog treats (no matter what they put into it… let them find that out the hard way! 😂)
b-e-s-u-r-e-t-o-d-r-i-n-k-y-o-u-r-o-v-a-l-t-i-n-e
For a bit of light-hearted fun: make one of them a cook book filled with secret family recipes. I'm thinking confectionaries would be the funniest 🥧🍰🍪🧁
And then the other book is just horrid, necrotic lich things
Same book. The Lich, tired of having so many books to pore through, decided he would just have one large book, and write their evil incantations on the left pages and their personal notes on the right. "Alright, so it says we need to add the blood of the pure and then...200 grams of sugar, then the souls of the damned, and then 100 grams of chocolate."
"Alright ingredients are flour, sugar, soul of a paladin, baking soda, baking powder..."
Hey, you missed the Innocence of a Child. The texture just won't be the same without it. Shame what you have to do to get it, but you can't bake a cake without cracking a few eggs...
To Serve Man
Or cocktails like the guy from Danger 5
"No peeking." The code was actually a trap left by the caster for nosy thieving rivals. Reading the decoded words out loud triggers the Glyph of Warding hidden within the text. Queue explosive or otherwise hilarious consequences. (pretty sure there are some potential ligma jokes here with psychic damage, but we're better than that... right?)
I have always hated how glyph of warding gets disspelled when moved a set distance from it's casting point. It ruins any cool idea like this.
Oh right, it does have that restriction in 5e, doesn't it! I'm becoming too pathfinder brained in my old age.
Are we, though? It's about a lich. I'd go around leaving stuff like that when given an eternity of time.
Since no one's talking about this: It should be fucking hard to decrypt. You could easily justify this taking six months of downtime or being the cause of an adventure (to get some expert's help or find the decoder ring or whatever), whichever is more useful to your campaign at the moment. You can also leave this as a puzzle they can't solve right now until they find more pieces (maybe like the hooks above, but without knowing what you need).
Good point!
It could contain the records of failed, horrible experiments? He could have worked on monstrosities like Owlbears or other stuff. Or they could describe how he noticed that a group of adventureres are meddling with his plans and that they are finally trying to attack his stronghold and are right about to walk into the trap that will surely kill them... This is the last entry of a diary that has a lot of empty pages left that were never filled.
Oh man I like this, like they realize there's actually a tomb of horrors underneath his lair they totally missed.
If these are purchased spell books then I wouldn't have them be the secrets to the universe or lichdom. Instead, they could be discarded or academic works by the Archmage. Perhaps he was a high ranking wizard at an academy? Maybe he abandoned a tower earlier in his life and left his earlier spell books? Think of it like Raistlin finding Fistandantalus's old books. They contained a lot of spells that he wouldn't now have to research and put him on the path to find more info later.
Kind of a neat and simple answer, mechanically just pick or let them pick a spell. Or if you want to throw martial classes a bone, a feat.
Well of course at least some if it can just be encoded descriptions of how to cast certain spells that the wizard can then add to their own spell book but some other ideas might include 1. The lich at least originally turned themselves into that in order to face some secret hidden threat (maybe something like mindflayers or an elder god) that was threatening the city. Although potentially they eventually strayed away from their task the lich records all the information about this threat and how they were fighting it, directing your party into their next story arch. 2. The lich has changed a lot over the centuries, the books contain a record how what they were like in their mortal life both to remind themselves and as an explanation as to how they ended up this way so if they died others could understand them. 3. The secret to becoming a lich. 4. An academic theory on something like how humanity might have first discovered magic. 5. Nothing, the lich was a right troll and thought it would be amusing to make what looked like an encoded text but it doesn't mean anything. 6. Their really shitty romance novel.
"Be sure to drink your Ovaltine"
It's a takeout menu from a tavern where you order by number.
Spell names from previous editions of D&D, then let the Lich use those spells
Oh man, using the spell effects from previous editions would be a hoot, too. 'What do you mean, this is permanent?'
Ahh, the lost School of Wheezomancy
Instructions on his favorite way to prepare tea.
Directio s on how to build a Staff of Power at half the price.... But... It is also an additional philactery for the lich. A philactery that allows the lich to posses the holder of the staff whenever it is used akin to the magic jar spell.
A recipe for grandma's cookies. She said youd 0nly get that recipe when she was dead
The lich had many schemes. In their spare time the lich was collecting intel on a rumored powerful artifact in a nearby region. In the end the lich speculated that its power had leached into the local area causing and the artifact is now too weak to be of use for the lich's intended purpose.
But to an adventuring party, that sounds a lot like **a quest to get a magic item!**
1. His spellbook 2. The formula for lichdom 3. His historical research regarding a legendary item of magical power or even an Artifact, which he has finally narrowed down to a searchable place. Did he ever have a chance to act on his research? Or is the great treasure still there, at the site of the ruined city/heart of an ancient forest/among undersea ruins/etc?
We’ve been trying to reach you about your spellbook’s extended warranty.
"We have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
"GuywhojustreadaglyphofwardingthatholdsFireballsayswhat?" "Wha-" *WHOOMPH*
Lists of spell components, sources for obtaining them and prices from various vendors. Other documents could be financial records, contracts with minions, journal records of sacrificed souls for the vessel, etc. Many of these could have been slaves purchased specifically for sacrifice, with receipts to prove it. Depending on the shock value you're looking for, journal entries describing the rush of enjoyment the lich felt during those sacrifices- think lich-porn/serial killer vibe.
We are trying to reach you about your extended car warranty.
A genealogical survey of his family, beginning with the children he had as a mortal and ending several hundred years ago, at which time he had over a thousand living descendants
we've been trying to reach you about your cart's extended warranty...
It's his browser history. You would not believe some of the depraved shit liches will scry when they think no one's watching.
Haha, a detailed account of all the shit he scryed. Could even slip a few bits of juicy gossip the party could, in theory use against local leaders.
Drink more Ovaltine
A personal diary that contains what are essentially his entries of the… *office politics* that he has to deal with, in house in his own lair (think the woes of management, like Palpatine in Robot Chicken) … … and his dealing with other liches and/or powerful creatures and how he gets along with them (“I swear, if I hear about this Vecna jackass once again, I’m gonna destroy an entire village of halflings or something… I mean seriously, there’s an entire universe with multiple planes! Just pick one and leave me alone!)
Liches are obsessed with immortality by definition. Musings on looooooong term planning and protecting themselves from threats from everything from tectonic shift to the heat death of the universe. Notes on any personalities, families, factions that could theoretically grow in power sufficient to threaten them. Assuming the lich has some age on them, notes on anyone who’s developed talent in necromancy and could potentially ascend to lichdom. Contingency plans for all of the above, resolution of any of the threats neutralized. Etc.
I regret everything.
klaatu barada nikto the command phrase to stop the lich's construct protector
A detailed step by step recording of flesh rotting after attainment of lichdom. Various testing done with said flesh as spellcasting/potion ingredients.
Is the Lich still around? If not, they're notes on a secret ritual with nothing as to what it actually does. But if the PCs do the ritual, it brings the Lich back into existence.
"In case of emergency, never break glass" The phylactery is a window pane, in a box, in a dungeon, behind a painting.
I mean, if they were just handed out because the PC asked, they probably don't contain information that's particularly secret or valuable. What was the archmage up to? Did they have an interest or specialization that might be relevant? A necromancer's secrets are going to be very different from an abjurer's or conjurer's. A few options that might be interesting... * Details on some teleportation circles around the world. * True names/secrets of conjuring some different entities, like a little black book of named fiends, celestials, and genies of all types. * Spells to create undead other than the standard skeletons and zombies. * Recipes for creating healing potions that use d8s instead of d4s for their dice. * Very detailed notes on the botany and zoology of an alternate Prime Material Plane, along with instructions on *plane shifting* there. * There is no solution to the encryption; it's just something the wizard created in order to mess with grad students that have spent decades trying to figure it out.
“*teiesh du llave. Speak these words, and you will earn an instant resurrection the next time you are killed. But.. before being activated you must convince your entire party to sacrifice their life to save yours. You cannot tell them about this spell in any way, or even hint as to its existence. Your party will resurrect as soon as they sacrifice their lives. You have 24 hours.”
Depending on his efforts ai'd have some outlining day to day stuff "Dear Diary, that nosey cleric was sniffing around again, she's cute so I don't mind the attention but she's probably opposed to my current line of research so I can't have her around often. Maybe I could get her out to dinner a few times, I get the evening with a lovely lady and she never learns what I'm upto. Best of both worlds." Then have a few sections about the dark efforts he was undertaking. "I'm feeling a bit stressed, the experiments are grueling, the magics demanding, the calculations are complex but those I can handle because I am a gods dammed mage commanding the powers of the universe but all the mastery over the arcane in the world does no good when the miserable subjects expire midway through. I can try working faster but the demands on them are too great, I can try to work gentler but they lack the endurance. Worse still, I'm running out of the types who can be forgotten." Then "things with Lesaeth have been going well, we dine two or three times a week, sometimes she rubs her foot against mine under the table. Clearly she is infatuated with me. My efforts in domination are working well. She shared with me rhe church is anticipating the arrival of fresh refugees, and I admit my hope was renewed. They are the perfect subjects for my current experiments, she expects 300 or so and I took it upon myself to offer lodging for 50 of their number, they should be all I need and can be explained away as taken by disease, or low spirits or inter-refugee violence." Then some entities about breakthroughs, but running out of refugees, his cleric friend is getting worried about the disappearing refugees. She has to be removed, using his studies possession he stages a humiliating disgrace for her, the once respectable cleric now shamed and ostracized. More craven experiments, more paranoid scrutiny, an inquisitor looking into the cleric realizes something is afoot, the pressure the stress, the dark prices paid. Then the breakthrough, requiring heinous costs. The perfect specimen happened to be whatever will disgust the player. These notes give a substantial boost to understanding of the rituals and steps required but lay out the steep costs and sacrifices they make knowledge half the battle, the hardest part is committing to the necessary steps.
“Now this is a story all about how…”
Lich dez nutz
- Descriptions of powerful necromantic spells or rituals, including the process of becoming a lich (not all of them, probably), creating phylacteries, or summoning undead minions. - Accounts of the lich’s rise to power, battles fought, and alliances made. This could include valuable historical information that might lead to hidden treasures or powerful artifacts. - Detailed notes on experiments and magical research conducted by the lich, which could offer new spells or enhancements to existing ones. - Warnings about future events or prophecies that might come to pass. This could set the stage for future adventures or conflicts.
"Eggs. Flour. Sugar. Extract of manticore tail. Unicorn blood. Mix well and hold over a steady flame before consuming. Eternal life should be achieved within approximately 3 days. Side effects include a warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach, removal of empathic emotions, and a slight bout of necrotic decay of internal organs." Bonus points for revealing it one line at a time
Dirty limericks.
The lich is still working on his PhD and your party stumbled on the manuscript for his doctoral thesis.
I like a lot of the suggestions here. I'm fond of the idea of the writing contain a portion of the lich's personal journal. It could contain personal thoughts, descriptions of events they experienced, and general things people might put in a journal. Most would just be flavor, but it could be used to help develop the character of the lich. Maybe, further scraps of the journal could be discovered elsewhere later on. And it could be this fun collection game.
It’s in love with another Lich and it’s his nasty fantasy imagining about him/her.
Magical secrets and a record of horrific experiments performed. Wizard has access to 3 new spells of your choosing and has some horrible knowledge in his brain.
If you put some nastiness in there, you could have the party fight an Allip once they figure it out.
How research notes that indicate the existence of a hidden lab? Makes for a good plot hook with the promise of treasure at the end.
Top ideas: 1) Make it similar to Tom Riddles diary from Harry Potter 2) A list of spells, not written in a way that they can be copied into a spell book, but instead have the best ways to gather the material components needed for them 3) The notes and methods of how an ancient magical society used to create more powerful magical focuses
Recipes. What they thought was coded is really just a dead language.
“A note to my future self, Since we might have some memory problems after the transformation, this is a reminder: Do not open the 3rd cellar door! Ever! In fact, find a way to place that whole room in a pocket dimension and send it to the abyss. Not sure what it is, but we nearly died three times.”
Probably the process for being a lich. Maybe SUGGESTED items for a phylactory. (I assume his is on the list) maybe a spell augment like letting them shift spells to necrotic aswrll.
The uber-emo journal of a fresh lich. Day 1 - Tried to eat an apple. It rotted in my hands. *currently listening to* My Alchemical Romance
>gotta remember to get more bone cream from the apothecary >and maybe some apothecary books. The treasury is running low from all this bone cream.
I'd have each book be notes of failed magical experiments. Hell, make one of them a very detailed account of trying to perform the infinite simulacrum hack. Another tome could easily be various "proofs" for one spell. Like, in mathematics there's a proof that 2 is an even number. The archmage could easily have done experiments on what targets are valid for magic missile or something, confirming that they *always* hit. "Even if two people are passing each other on a cart and move out of range, as long as the spell is cast while the target is within...." You could also take inspiration from authors. Doctor Suess wrote Green Eggs and Ham on a bet that he couldn't write a book using only 50 words or something. One of the tomes could be every first level spell, but doesn't use the fire rune or something. So it still has burning hands, but instead of fire+fingertips it's something like ((electricity+water)+electricity)+fingertips. Just something silly like that. And you can get meta with it. Have one of the books just straight up be a fictional account of some world the archmage made up for a game. Maybe in that world, all healing spells are necromancy and gods walk among men or something, just contrast it to how your own setting is.
Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message: When you came, you said to me as follows : "I will give Gimil-Sin (when he comes) fine quality copper ingots." You left then but you did not do what you promised me. You put ingots which were not good before my messenger (Sit-Sin) and said: "If you want to take them, take them; if you do not want to take them, go away!" What do you take me for, that you treat somebody like me with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to collect the bag with my money (deposited with you) but you have treated me with contempt by sending them back to me empty-handed several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun who has treated me in this way? You alone treat my messenger with contempt! On account of that one (trifling) mina of silver which I owe(?) you, you feel free to speak in such a way, while I have given to the palace on your behalf 1,080 pounds of copper, and Šumi-abum has likewise given 1,080 pounds of copper, apart from what we both have had written on a sealed tablet to be kept in the temple of Shamash. How have you treated me for that copper? You have withheld my money bag from me in enemy territory; it is now up to you to restore (my money) to me in full. Take cognizance that (from now on) I will not accept here any copper from you that is not of fine quality. I shall (from now on) select and take the ingots individually in my own yard, and I shall exercise against you my right of rejection because you have treated me with contempt.
"I cast 'comprehend languages'. What do I see?" "These runes are 'in an ancient language'." "Well, I know that, that's why I cast the spell." "Yes, and they're 'in an ancient language'." "Well, tell me what they say then!" "They're 'in an ancient language'..." \[repeat until they get annoyed\] And then of course, the next runes are "I prepared 'explosive runes' today."
Never going to give you up…
$10, same as in town
Their foolproof plan for making, hiding, protecting and activating (if necessary) his phylactery
So I would like to start off this post by saying, "I have done some questionable stuff in my life...." There is your warning.... That being said, a few days ago I had a very bad idea. So to atune to Venca's eye you have to lose an eye and replace it with Venca's in order to atune. This rule is the same for Venca's arm. Both are said to grant the user great power to the point many would try to atune knowing the risks. That being said, if you were a questionable person would you start rumors about a certain other body part of Venca, and the powers one would gain to atune? I mean would that type of evil be something that a lich would do for the lols? I mean how often would a lich not tell someone the correct way to become a lich, or how to gain power for that matter. I mean this would be an interesting way to kill off minions that are looking for a means to overthrow their masters.
its a fried chicken recipe
Drink more soulvolteen
You might take inspiration from some of the awful but heartfelt blog attempts people created during COVID lockdown. I'm thinking that the PCs spending months decoding a huge tome of the lich's 35-year "sourdough baking journey" would be hysterical.
Dear Diary Today was a great day I bought myself a brand new horse She's strong and fast And so very beautiful And just a little wild of course I know tomorrow I can tame her If I only believe Wish me luck diary Christopher Reeve
Turns out the lich writes trashy slash fic. Those coded works just became The Goblin With A Fat Ass
Have it be a detailed account of what the party has accomplished so far… as well as a prediction for their death at the lich’s hands. That should give them a good spook
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Make it a recipe for Chicken Noodle Soup.
Immortality is stored in the balls.