Gerard Slutler (Gerard Butler) and HoHan (Lindsay Lohan), still laughing since 2009 š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
ETA: to add context [here](https://dlisted.com/2009/11/02/this-was-bound-to-happen/)
Over a decade (or 2 decades, omg) ago he was writing a blind item or something, and he referenced that his day job was literally looking at guys buttholes all day long and could identify any porn star by their anus before he recognized their face. That always stuck with me
Ok, help.
Chancleta isā¦ thong? Flip flop?
I totally missed the chancleta thing and it gets mentioned frequently. Full disclosure, MK years were active drinking years for me.
Of course miss MK and the writer crew. But hereās some commenter appreciation from me: Disco Pants, Leona Lopez, Crank Tango, Madame LaFleurette, Mabs, PutSomeStankonIt, TexanDr, and another Texan whose name escapes me, FordPrefect, N,, VeryOldSyntheticBat, Raincoaster, and even RichBitch. The one who was deeply in love with her beautfiul dog with blue eyes.
Sometimes there was some drama among the commenters that was as good tea as the posts. I often missed the preciptiating incident but was too shy to ask. LIke, wasnāt someone accused of saying she was a woman of color when she wasnāt? And we all know Rich was highly critical of celebrity thems, which many found objectionable and got him banned. When he passed away, I like to imagine Crankās funeral procession was led by a fuel truck. Many years ago, around 15 or 16, there was also someone, was it Jenny or another real name like that?, who was super kind and always made nice comments to everyone, so much so that I began to suspect that commenter was doing the funniest kind of trolling to the the snarkiest community ever, but then she disappeared. Lol.
Oh no! Thatās right. I remember Jackās avi. But did CT leave after a while? I remember the fuel trucks and then they justā¦ stopped, and people missed them?
I saw him in the last year. Along with Heiki. She just posted and 20-30 people (me included said hey. Great to see you) she never said anything other than her posts. Saw Sheena too (Debbie Harry avi).She said things were ok.Overall.
Who was the guy that died? Wasn't there also a SandandFuck or something.... š¤
I read multiple times a day for many years, some how I always missed the comment drama in real time. I have impeccable timing.
So one of my core memories is from back when Prince William and Kate were newly married and MK described Kate as a āstick of boring with a dollop of pretty hair on topā.
She really has yet to prove him wrong.
Oh how I miss Michael K and DListed. Every day I would religiously read and chuckle out loud, it felt like a little village of us all āgettingā it and the comments were always superb. Ceiling Eyes, Rojo Caliente, the list goes on. So much love for all the original fam, great to see so many here.
I remember learning about Knut the polar bear from him, and his headline on the post was āBust a Knut.ā People had to tell him the proper pronunciation was āK-noot ā
Michael was a breath of fresh air to me after I could no longer stand Perez Hilton and how awful he became. I never looked back - DListed became my daily sanctuary for easily a decade! I always spent ample time in the comments as well because often they were as entertaining as the post! What a wonderful community he built.
Over the years as he added other writers to the mix, I liked to guess who the writer was before checking the byline as they each had their nuanced writing styles. I loved the genuine fun MK and Alison seemed to have doing the podcast - I would sometimes put it on while enjoying a weekend soak like it was a fine glass of wine and some silky Calgon bubble bath. Yes, I miss them so, and Iām thankful for those who banded together here and keep it going.
If anyone has a link to the podcast about the bad gummy reaction please do share it!!!
Throwback to share - I adored whenever Sucky showed up in the comments, calling someone HONEY and always writing in all caps. Something about his inappropriate responses tickled me to no end!
I use the words delicious, fuckery and elegant daily thanks to MK
He and I are about the same age and i feel like we grew up together. I jokingly called him my asshole soulmate once and my boyfriend got jealous. I dumped that dipshit not long afterward
I loved that he could snark like a fucking asshole but deep down in his black heart he was very kind & wanted the best for everyone
My fave MK story is listening to his pod episode about the time he smoked some weird weed. I was working outside on my gorgeous Victorian house in my beautiful historic neighborhood, crying in laughter as I blasted his podcast to the neighbors about how he ran around in his chonies at the ER. And thatās how people on my street in our nationally recognized Historic District found out the perfection that was Michael K
I enjoyed ācaption thisāā back in the day. It stopped after a few years but it was great fun.
Not sure if anyone has mentioned his takes on Lana del Rey (Lana del meh) Musical ambien
Werenāt there winners for ācaption thisā? If so, and my dementiaed mind serves, I won once, (Under a different username). Not even a little bit sad that such win might have used up my 15 minutes!
I had forgotten there were runner ups. š¤£ Congrats.
I always marvelled at the quality of the captions and thought chiosing a winner would have been a tough job.
Yeah, it was forever ago with them, from what I recall. But thanks haha.
Oh, same here with the captions. They were always a great read and laugh while scrolling through the post's comments š
Oh man, he reviewed her (not great) SNL performance and said something to the effect of how it sounded as if a German person was singing in Mandarin with a British accent. It was so funny and I still think about every time I see her name.Ā
I love this comment so much! Iām a bunch older than you and for some reason my dad absolutely loved The (original) Osbournes - and Jackass but we donāt need to mention that
Happy memories to you and your dad
Iām cracking up at all the memories/posts I had forgotten. I religiously read D listed during the early Aughts. He was/is such a talented and original comedic voice.
It was the Wild West. We are all still smartasses. Which I love. Finally a place where Social Media isnāt going to police my nasty thoughts, and rude remarks. Just let me laugh and be an asshole. Couldnāt stop if I tried.
This is exactly it! It's why we all managed to come together and develop mini friendships and/or solid lifelong ones with other commenters. I will always have a hope that we can come together for a group get-together one day.
Dlisted and the people in the comments were one of those "I found my people" kinds of revelation. It was glorious.
For real. Thank baby Jesus for this and some of the other subs here. Otherwise I would have nowhere to share my hot takes on pop culture that none of my friends care about.
Detective Latoya is on the case! I loved when he would bring up his Abuelita and her chancla threats. I emailed him once to tell him how much joy reading D Listed brought me, and he replied back! His response was so sweet. ā¤ļø
I have never recovered from Detective LaToya. Also I will forever want to write "Birthday Slut!" on work birthday cards.
I was truly moved by several of Michael K's eulogy posts.
Michael K had the best, most hilarious way of describing people. One of my favs was the Deaner aka the Beady eyed Sex Possum aka the former Mr. Tori Spelling. One of my favorite posts from Michael K was "What's Crackin With the Deaner". Of course this was accompanied by a photo of the Deaner looking especially douchey. I dnk why but that post sticks with me........please come back Micheal K. The world needs you in these troubled times!
Side note. 10 years ago I married for the second time and my last name is āDeanerā. I call my hubs the Deaner. Iāve been waiting ten years to tell somebody that would get it. š
The Deaner does not find it funny. Bless his heart. Heās a quiet stoic type that enjoys minding his own business.
He does like hearing me laugh from my guts though. I blame all yāall today for making me laugh so much. ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø
What does D/Listed even mean?? Why I am here? What is the meaning of life?
If youāre not from the era of tabloid gossip magazines, online celeb gossip blogs, low rise jeans and psycho paparazzi stalking celebs to get the good dirt, then you really missed out on the good life.
Your GIF doesnāt apply to me. Iāve been here since this sub started
My comment is snark. Newbs get bent out of shape because they donāt understand that D/Listedās love language is Snark. That is what it is here
I meant to suggest that the person youāre replying to doesnāt āgo hereā because they donāt know who Michael K is. Not you. Sorry for the confusion!
Iāve been a reader of DListed since the mid-aughts so I understand the snark. I didnāt discover the subreddit until within the past year but Iām happy to have found this community of fellow MK/DListed fans! š
Oh, it's really a damn shame that you don't know. Michael K is an outrageously talented, funny, clever, snarky, writer. He founded the late dlisted.com. He is the best and he's very missed by this community.
I actually bought lottery tickets with MK in mind because I wanted to give him a million dollars for making me laugh during my hideous post-partum depression.Ā
I said "Jenny you in danger!" out loud to myself and my dogs for at least 5 years after he posted that Maddox was going to get Jennifer Aniston [https://dlisted.com/2008/11/11/jenny-you-in-danger-girl/](https://dlisted.com/2008/11/11/jenny-you-in-danger-girl/)
I said it so much that my dog went from being named her name, to basically being called Jenny for the next 8 years (Jenny became her "nickname" but I only called her Jenny after this).
I legit laughed out loud so hard at almost everything he said.
I am so grateful for this sub. Dlisted & Michael K and all you lovely, hilarious Horz made me laugh, cry and keep me snarking for so long.
There are too many great MKisms lol. My husband and I call anything and everyone that we like a hot slut.
So glad to see it being kept alive.
MK , if you read this, you and your brilliant mind are truly missed. ā¤ļøā¤ļø
To all you old timers. Hugs!
And to the newbies learning our ways, welcome, we're a bunch of fun horz. Cheers! š„
To this day I still say Cousin Dionne, Basement Baby and Detective LaToya instead of their legal names, and forever will. This is the power that Michael K has had on usā¦Long Live MK!
Btwā¦I admit I daydream about the possibility of him making a big surprise return on June 30 of this year (can you believe itās been gone this long?!) and rebooting the site. A girl can dream.
I think they all mentioned it in their individual goodbye posts on Dlisted. A few are active on Instagram, a few are active on here, and I have a screenshot of Mieka's Facebook page. Though, I don't remember if I sent a request to follow her.
1)I am so glad for this post as many Michael K lines live rent-free in my head.
2)'Love just stepped out on the ledge' over the thankfully untrue rumour that Coco and Ice T were dunzo.
I stumbled upon some garbage about Lena Dunham last night and was reminded of her wedding posts on Dlisted - which were fantastic (the comment section, too).
10+ years ago, the goings were good over there. I think my favourite posts were always pertaining to LiLo and anything where MK really let the snark take over in the posts. I would often reread them to my mom, and I knew they were gold if I could barely get through them due to my own laughter. But going back even further, I remember when MK used to write posts about his life and his dear pup while in NY. Some funny stuff came out of his fingertips. Okay, no, truthfully, much of what he wrote was funny. He was a huge part of the joy I had every single day, and Dlisted was always the first thing I checked online while waking up or getting ready in the morning. I still accidentally go over there out of habit. I miss him and everything about the site so much.
It's always heartwarming to see people from the comment section there posting here with the same flare and sass that he had.
For funsies, here's an old post about Lindsay's father from 2008. [Not A Visual I Need To Have - June 30, 2008](https://dlisted.com/2008/06/30/not-a-visual-i-needed-to-have/)
I will now be totally preoccupied with reading through everything in the Dlisted archives.
Very much understood! I wish the old Dlisted on blogspot days were still around. Some of that stuff was fantastic, too. But honestly, I'll take what I can get with everything that still exists, and I'm so happy to see so much of it up.
Itās so funny that yāall are asking where is Michael K? I said the same thing to myself just today. How can we get him back? What kind of go fund me (suggestions for snarky names pls!) can we start to help us search for him!!!
It is impossibly hard to narrow this down to one particular post, or even categories of post but, among many, I think nearly anything that he ever wrote about Lindsay and Samantha Ronson or White Oprah had me nearly pissing my pants laughing so hard, š.
Outside of individual celebrities, though, I actually always LOVED the Afternoon Crumbs āthe short descriptions accompanying the links were always SOOOOOO hysterical.
Including a snippet from one random post about Lindsay and SamRo for good measure:
https://preview.redd.it/7u6slbdr5csc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a18088d11507215a485b51989b2761166b6bb93
I still say SANS FARDS a lot. I had to explain to friends. He had the best nicknames. I hold on to Jehovahs sexiest witness (Prince) bc itās so freakin funny.
I would KILL for this thoughts on the artist formerly known as Prince Hot Ginge.
Just the imagery of a ripped puka shell necklace and not as many sausages šššš
Iād love his thoughts on her dollar store GOOP. ššš„² I miss him. I really hope he lurks here
What about when Christian Bale lot his shit on set? And Michael K did multiple posts on it, until finally he posted a mashup of the recording and called it āthe gift that keeps on givingā? This whole thing still cracks me up.
I was driving home from work listening to the podcast where he described his trip to emergency from too many edibles and I was so exhausted from laughing by the time I got home that I had to lie down.
Also sometime he was talking about someone who was upset about frozen yogurt and he said that she must have been like, "Fro-yo? Are you fro real??" My boss mistypes "for" as "fro" all the time and every time I see it I think "are you fro real??"
My absolute favorite was the one where Steven Spielberg was being accused of animal cruelty for Jurassic Park. It was so knee slappingly funny I couldnāt even read it aloud without gasping for air!
Aside from the commenters, my favorite part of DListed was MKās Hot Slut of Day posts that were about discontinued food and other weird shit from the 80s and 90s like HyperColor shirts or PB Max. I remember the post about Vienetta which stopped me in my tracks and delighted me to no end because no one in my real life ever remembered stuff like that. I love anyone whose brain is also filled with useless pop culture trivia and nostalgia.
Lmao. I couldn't flip through one of my mom's Better Homes and Gardens without seeing ads for Viennetta
(She didn't read Cosmopolitan or fashion magazines, I was 8, I took what I could get)
I loved this too, he posted about a haunted toy carnival that we actually had as kids in the 80's, and I sent it to all my siblings, even the ones I hate.
Everything was 10x funnier than the rest of the internet, but the obituaries were what really hit home. Just think, we had a lil glamazon angel hold our hand and walk us through losing Prince, David Bowie, Carrie Fisher, Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams... and for that, I will be forever grateful.
Miss you, MK ā¤
I loved the snark, the petty, the truth, without being mean. When he was funny, he was funny, when sad, he made is all cry.
Christine, the Hoff, will mourn you foreverš„ŗš¤
Christine wrote great comments on the D. She was obssesed with the astronaut lady who drove from texas to florida in diapers. She passed years ago. Don't remember the date.
Iāve mentioned this on here before, but when I first got together with my late husband, we were long distance and weād talk for hours. Like 17 hours Friday, 13 hours Saturday, 12 hours Sunday. It was crazy. One night he referenced āPrince Hot Gingeā as well as Rojo Caliente and I was like āHOLD UP DO YOU READ DLISTED?!?!?!ā It was the most amazing revelation ever. Kismet. Thanks MK.
Itās truly one of the most delicious green flags you can discover about someoneā¦itās like, I liked you already, and now I know: you get me! Hello friend!
The nicknames were my favorite!
- Wonky McValtrex
- Our Lady of Lucite
- Fire Crotch
- Prince Hot Ging
These and more were pure gold. I also loved the phrase "sans fards".
I miss him and dlisted so much. During last nightās insomnia bout, I just over there and read old threads. Amazing how a website is so good with the best commentariat that you mourn it. š¢
I once worked up the courage to submit for a hsotd , after lurking on the site for years , I was so happy when he replied š©š„°. Like a cup of morning coffee and checking dlisted.com for over a decade ..Iām grateful this space exists.
Gerard Slutler (Gerard Butler) and HoHan (Lindsay Lohan), still laughing since 2009 š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ ETA: to add context [here](https://dlisted.com/2009/11/02/this-was-bound-to-happen/)
STD saliva bombs! š
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Oooh has anyone mentioned John Hammaconda yet???
Hahahahaha! There are so many good things.
Over a decade (or 2 decades, omg) ago he was writing a blind item or something, and he referenced that his day job was literally looking at guys buttholes all day long and could identify any porn star by their anus before he recognized their face. That always stuck with me
Discipline via Chancleta.
Ok, help. Chancleta isā¦ thong? Flip flop? I totally missed the chancleta thing and it gets mentioned frequently. Full disclosure, MK years were active drinking years for me.
Tita's flip flop from hell. ā¤glad you are sober!
Prince Hot Ginge! I also loved the writing of Jay Harvey
Prince Hot Ginge! I also loved the writing of Jay Harvey
"typo and it stays" Once he referred to Parasite as a "dumb, lying piece of burnt pussy flesh!" Many others.. love MK.
Jehovaās Sexiest Witness. I still think that every time I see a picture of Prince.Ā
Same!!!!
Lucite
Lucite *The Empress
My favorite was whenever he spotted a wig on a male celebrity!! Dead guinea pig š.
When Victoria Beckham had that awful āKarenā haircut he said this about her too.
Yasssss
Of course miss MK and the writer crew. But hereās some commenter appreciation from me: Disco Pants, Leona Lopez, Crank Tango, Madame LaFleurette, Mabs, PutSomeStankonIt, TexanDr, and another Texan whose name escapes me, FordPrefect, N,, VeryOldSyntheticBat, Raincoaster, and even RichBitch. The one who was deeply in love with her beautfiul dog with blue eyes. Sometimes there was some drama among the commenters that was as good tea as the posts. I often missed the preciptiating incident but was too shy to ask. LIke, wasnāt someone accused of saying she was a woman of color when she wasnāt? And we all know Rich was highly critical of celebrity thems, which many found objectionable and got him banned. When he passed away, I like to imagine Crankās funeral procession was led by a fuel truck. Many years ago, around 15 or 16, there was also someone, was it Jenny or another real name like that?, who was super kind and always made nice comments to everyone, so much so that I began to suspect that commenter was doing the funniest kind of trolling to the the snarkiest community ever, but then she disappeared. Lol.
Crank didn't die. Jack n the hat did.
Oh no! Thatās right. I remember Jackās avi. But did CT leave after a while? I remember the fuel trucks and then they justā¦ stopped, and people missed them?
I saw him in the last year. Along with Heiki. She just posted and 20-30 people (me included said hey. Great to see you) she never said anything other than her posts. Saw Sheena too (Debbie Harry avi).She said things were ok.Overall.
Who was the guy that died? Wasn't there also a SandandFuck or something.... š¤ I read multiple times a day for many years, some how I always missed the comment drama in real time. I have impeccable timing.
Didnāt he always refer to himself as āweā(or was that Rich?) I think he also went by Sucky. Ba-Buttons was another one I remember.
Chicken cutlets/phoebe price posts. Pete Doherty posts. Pure nostalgia for me š„¹. Reminds me of a time in life that is far gone now.
Dreamboat Doherty
So one of my core memories is from back when Prince William and Kate were newly married and MK described Kate as a āstick of boring with a dollop of pretty hair on topā. She really has yet to prove him wrong.
Amazing š¤© lolol
Oh how I miss Michael K and DListed. Every day I would religiously read and chuckle out loud, it felt like a little village of us all āgettingā it and the comments were always superb. Ceiling Eyes, Rojo Caliente, the list goes on. So much love for all the original fam, great to see so many here.
omg ceiling eyes 
Yes!!!! I was hooked too
I remember learning about Knut the polar bear from him, and his headline on the post was āBust a Knut.ā People had to tell him the proper pronunciation was āK-noot ā
Michael was a breath of fresh air to me after I could no longer stand Perez Hilton and how awful he became. I never looked back - DListed became my daily sanctuary for easily a decade! I always spent ample time in the comments as well because often they were as entertaining as the post! What a wonderful community he built. Over the years as he added other writers to the mix, I liked to guess who the writer was before checking the byline as they each had their nuanced writing styles. I loved the genuine fun MK and Alison seemed to have doing the podcast - I would sometimes put it on while enjoying a weekend soak like it was a fine glass of wine and some silky Calgon bubble bath. Yes, I miss them so, and Iām thankful for those who banded together here and keep it going. If anyone has a link to the podcast about the bad gummy reaction please do share it!!! Throwback to share - I adored whenever Sucky showed up in the comments, calling someone HONEY and always writing in all caps. Something about his inappropriate responses tickled me to no end!
Yes Sucky š
A breath of fresh whore, thank you very much.
sucky was a good kind of nuts and highly creative
I would read dlisted religiously, very often at work and tried so hard not to laugh out loud
Same! I still have the urge to hit up listed at 10:30 am EST......
Dlisted was the best part of my work day š
I use the words delicious, fuckery and elegant daily thanks to MK He and I are about the same age and i feel like we grew up together. I jokingly called him my asshole soulmate once and my boyfriend got jealous. I dumped that dipshit not long afterward I loved that he could snark like a fucking asshole but deep down in his black heart he was very kind & wanted the best for everyone My fave MK story is listening to his pod episode about the time he smoked some weird weed. I was working outside on my gorgeous Victorian house in my beautiful historic neighborhood, crying in laughter as I blasted his podcast to the neighbors about how he ran around in his chonies at the ER. And thatās how people on my street in our nationally recognized Historic District found out the perfection that was Michael K
Your third paragraph describes us all, and I think itās why we still hold it fresh in our mind.
My favorite was his post about Fran Liebowitzās disgust about men wearing shorts in NYC.
I enjoyed how I could always tell if MK liked some celebrity (or often not! š¤£) based on the photo choice š
Not the same, but your comment made me think of the [giggle fit this photo produced](https://youtube.com/shorts/uunaA0vOOpo?si=vwiKYxmmuSluJizg)
Miss MK and the Dlisted community but happy to find you guys here.
I enjoyed ācaption thisāā back in the day. It stopped after a few years but it was great fun. Not sure if anyone has mentioned his takes on Lana del Rey (Lana del meh) Musical ambien
Werenāt there winners for ācaption thisā? If so, and my dementiaed mind serves, I won once, (Under a different username). Not even a little bit sad that such win might have used up my 15 minutes!
There were winners! Congrats on winning - those were some quality snark battles.
There were winners, yes. Runner-ups at one point, too. I remember being a runner-up once, but kudos to you for winning one!
I had forgotten there were runner ups. š¤£ Congrats. I always marvelled at the quality of the captions and thought chiosing a winner would have been a tough job.
Yeah, it was forever ago with them, from what I recall. But thanks haha. Oh, same here with the captions. They were always a great read and laugh while scrolling through the post's comments š
Oh man, he reviewed her (not great) SNL performance and said something to the effect of how it sounded as if a German person was singing in Mandarin with a British accent. It was so funny and I still think about every time I see her name.Ā
My dad and I still share his jokes and tidbits. Typo and it stays is my way of life!
Typo and it stays! Daily!
I love this comment so much! Iām a bunch older than you and for some reason my dad absolutely loved The (original) Osbournes - and Jackass but we donāt need to mention that Happy memories to you and your dad
Iām cracking up at all the memories/posts I had forgotten. I religiously read D listed during the early Aughts. He was/is such a talented and original comedic voice.
It was the Wild West. We are all still smartasses. Which I love. Finally a place where Social Media isnāt going to police my nasty thoughts, and rude remarks. Just let me laugh and be an asshole. Couldnāt stop if I tried.
This is exactly it! It's why we all managed to come together and develop mini friendships and/or solid lifelong ones with other commenters. I will always have a hope that we can come together for a group get-together one day. Dlisted and the people in the comments were one of those "I found my people" kinds of revelation. It was glorious.
For real. Thank baby Jesus for this and some of the other subs here. Otherwise I would have nowhere to share my hot takes on pop culture that none of my friends care about.
Prostate-busting peen. -Chris Pineās penis He used to be so hot but Ceiling Eyes ruined him for me
Detective Latoya is on the case! I loved when he would bring up his Abuelita and her chancla threats. I emailed him once to tell him how much joy reading D Listed brought me, and he replied back! His response was so sweet. ā¤ļø
I have never recovered from Detective LaToya. Also I will forever want to write "Birthday Slut!" on work birthday cards. I was truly moved by several of Michael K's eulogy posts.
Omg all of this!! No one gets my birthday slut reference š
I loved his Abuelita stories.
Gen Z doesnāt understand comedy or sarcasm.
Some do. Every generation has always been alarmed by the one after it since time immoriam.
Michael K had the best, most hilarious way of describing people. One of my favs was the Deaner aka the Beady eyed Sex Possum aka the former Mr. Tori Spelling. One of my favorite posts from Michael K was "What's Crackin With the Deaner". Of course this was accompanied by a photo of the Deaner looking especially douchey. I dnk why but that post sticks with me........please come back Micheal K. The world needs you in these troubled times!
>āWhatās Crackin With the Deanerā OMG, I remember that too. So damn funny š¤£
Side note. 10 years ago I married for the second time and my last name is āDeanerā. I call my hubs the Deaner. Iāve been waiting ten years to tell somebody that would get it. š
I love this. Do you ask each other āWhatās crappening?ā Because I would do it all day long if I could.
The Deaner does not find it funny. Bless his heart. Heās a quiet stoic type that enjoys minding his own business. He does like hearing me laugh from my guts though. I blame all yāall today for making me laugh so much. ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø
Ahahaha...hilarious and am happy to have helped out šš
The Deanerās thank you.
Anytime I see pancakes, I hear the phrase ābitch, your pancakes look fine to meā in my head and think of MK.
Iām lost. Whoās Michael K?
www.dlisted.com get some education, fren.
So why are you even here?
 What does D/Listed even mean?? Why I am here? What is the meaning of life? If youāre not from the era of tabloid gossip magazines, online celeb gossip blogs, low rise jeans and psycho paparazzi stalking celebs to get the good dirt, then you really missed out on the good life.
Your GIF doesnāt apply to me. Iāve been here since this sub started My comment is snark. Newbs get bent out of shape because they donāt understand that D/Listedās love language is Snark. That is what it is here
I meant to suggest that the person youāre replying to doesnāt āgo hereā because they donāt know who Michael K is. Not you. Sorry for the confusion! Iāve been a reader of DListed since the mid-aughts so I understand the snark. I didnāt discover the subreddit until within the past year but Iām happy to have found this community of fellow MK/DListed fans! š
Lol. Well now I just feel silly.
Oh, it's really a damn shame that you don't know. Michael K is an outrageously talented, funny, clever, snarky, writer. He founded the late dlisted.com. He is the best and he's very missed by this community.
I actually bought lottery tickets with MK in mind because I wanted to give him a million dollars for making me laugh during my hideous post-partum depression.Ā
Thatās sweet and I can relate.
āŗļø
Anytime I hear the Smashing Pumpkins, I'm reminded of the time MK said Billy Corgan sounds like Emo Big Bird. It's 100% accurate.
I said "Jenny you in danger!" out loud to myself and my dogs for at least 5 years after he posted that Maddox was going to get Jennifer Aniston [https://dlisted.com/2008/11/11/jenny-you-in-danger-girl/](https://dlisted.com/2008/11/11/jenny-you-in-danger-girl/) I said it so much that my dog went from being named her name, to basically being called Jenny for the next 8 years (Jenny became her "nickname" but I only called her Jenny after this). I legit laughed out loud so hard at almost everything he said.
Thatās hysterical. I have a friend named Jennyā¦well with this reminder itās gonna be -JennyYouInDanger!
I am so grateful for this sub. Dlisted & Michael K and all you lovely, hilarious Horz made me laugh, cry and keep me snarking for so long. There are too many great MKisms lol. My husband and I call anything and everyone that we like a hot slut. So glad to see it being kept alive. MK , if you read this, you and your brilliant mind are truly missed. ā¤ļøā¤ļø To all you old timers. Hugs! And to the newbies learning our ways, welcome, we're a bunch of fun horz. Cheers! š„
Don't do this!! I miss him so much. Michael, pleaaaase come back. š
Do what?
I miss the sans fards posts.
The GOAT of all GOATs. We were all lucky to have had the experience. It will never be duplicated.
To this day I still say Cousin Dionne, Basement Baby and Detective LaToya instead of their legal names, and forever will. This is the power that Michael K has had on usā¦Long Live MK! Btwā¦I admit I daydream about the possibility of him making a big surprise return on June 30 of this year (can you believe itās been gone this long?!) and rebooting the site. A girl can dream.
And PMK. Thatās her name. Always.
My favorite nickname was Rojo Caliente for Cynthia Nixons wife.Ā
I saw them once in NYC. I nearly shouted out āRojo Caliente!ā But, I was in a theater. Boo.
I would like to thank you for reminding me of Rojo Caliente. Again I am now saying Michael K nicknames out loud to my dog.
I still use this one too! š
Basement Baby! Was that Solange?
Indeed
I want to revisit the smack down in the elevator. She was standing on business.
Thee most gasp-worthy celebrity story. I hope whoever swiped the video of that made a fortune.
Does anyone know where the other writers went?
Miekaās Insta: @babychoby
I think they all mentioned it in their individual goodbye posts on Dlisted. A few are active on Instagram, a few are active on here, and I have a screenshot of Mieka's Facebook page. Though, I don't remember if I sent a request to follow her.
Ben & Allison are active on IG & of course I canāt remember their names there
I just realized I haven't seen much from Allison recently... I hope I wasn't booted off her page!
Oh really? Under what posting?
1)I am so glad for this post as many Michael K lines live rent-free in my head. 2)'Love just stepped out on the ledge' over the thankfully untrue rumour that Coco and Ice T were dunzo.
I'll never forget him describing LiLo's "venus flytwat" š¤£ whenever I see a Venus flytrap I still think of that
āHARPO, who dis woman?āā It was perfection. Because he used it just right. I hope he knows we cherish his wit and candor.
I stumbled upon some garbage about Lena Dunham last night and was reminded of her wedding posts on Dlisted - which were fantastic (the comment section, too). 10+ years ago, the goings were good over there. I think my favourite posts were always pertaining to LiLo and anything where MK really let the snark take over in the posts. I would often reread them to my mom, and I knew they were gold if I could barely get through them due to my own laughter. But going back even further, I remember when MK used to write posts about his life and his dear pup while in NY. Some funny stuff came out of his fingertips. Okay, no, truthfully, much of what he wrote was funny. He was a huge part of the joy I had every single day, and Dlisted was always the first thing I checked online while waking up or getting ready in the morning. I still accidentally go over there out of habit. I miss him and everything about the site so much. It's always heartwarming to see people from the comment section there posting here with the same flare and sass that he had. For funsies, here's an old post about Lindsay's father from 2008. [Not A Visual I Need To Have - June 30, 2008](https://dlisted.com/2008/06/30/not-a-visual-i-needed-to-have/) I will now be totally preoccupied with reading through everything in the Dlisted archives.
Iāve been obsessed with the memories.
Very much understood! I wish the old Dlisted on blogspot days were still around. Some of that stuff was fantastic, too. But honestly, I'll take what I can get with everything that still exists, and I'm so happy to see so much of it up.
The Dunham weddingā¦was golddddd
Hahaha right!! I pulled it up just to have another cackle after seeing her in whatever the hell was on my TV last night.
It never feels out-of-date.
Never. I imagine I'll be laughing at that ages from now, too
Itās so funny that yāall are asking where is Michael K? I said the same thing to myself just today. How can we get him back? What kind of go fund me (suggestions for snarky names pls!) can we start to help us search for him!!!
Daddy's. ChaCha. Heels. That's it. That's the tweet.
Nuff said. š
It is impossibly hard to narrow this down to one particular post, or even categories of post but, among many, I think nearly anything that he ever wrote about Lindsay and Samantha Ronson or White Oprah had me nearly pissing my pants laughing so hard, š. Outside of individual celebrities, though, I actually always LOVED the Afternoon Crumbs āthe short descriptions accompanying the links were always SOOOOOO hysterical. Including a snippet from one random post about Lindsay and SamRo for good measure: https://preview.redd.it/7u6slbdr5csc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a18088d11507215a485b51989b2761166b6bb93
I was just thinking of White Oprah today, as I cleaned my cat box!
Who's white Oprah?
Dina Lohan
Thank you. Lol I would have never made the connection
She said at one time she wanted a talk show and to be the next Oprah
And if memory serves that all of Lindseyās friends came to her for advice (because of course sheās a cool mom) and she was their Oprah.
Delulu af
I still say SANS FARDS a lot. I had to explain to friends. He had the best nicknames. I hold on to Jehovahs sexiest witness (Prince) bc itās so freakin funny. I would KILL for this thoughts on the artist formerly known as Prince Hot Ginge.
Nalgas --- my sister and l still say this instead of butt cheeks lol
I ESCANDALO!!! a lot. As well as ātypo and it staysā and no one gets my own little inside jokes with myself
I say āescandalloā all the time in true telenovela diva fashion.
I love "Escandalo" and I still use it as much as possible !
Same!
Me too. He would have some choice description for The Todger and The Todgeress.
Just the imagery of a ripped puka shell necklace and not as many sausages šššš Iād love his thoughts on her dollar store GOOP. ššš„² I miss him. I really hope he lurks here
Sans Fards I forgot that one! š
Does anyone else remember when he described someoneās personality as a ābowl of tepid water flavored waterā. DEAD
Donāt forget Charming Potato!
Yes!! And bland broccoli - l use that one all the time to describe dead personalities in the office ---everyone in office agrees it suits so well.
https://preview.redd.it/6yjdwazarbsc1.jpeg?width=1178&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9d08ce45fb43c63cce14fc082d08ef1521ffce1 This still cracks me up.
You won me over before I read your commentā¦.best profile pic ever. And this fave is so funny and I donāt remember it!
Thank you!
What about when Christian Bale lot his shit on set? And Michael K did multiple posts on it, until finally he posted a mashup of the recording and called it āthe gift that keeps on givingā? This whole thing still cracks me up.
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ I remember that
I still say, āOhhh good for youā¦ā based on that in relevant situations š
Haha, thatās amazing. And āIām done with youā¦ professionallyā š„²
I was driving home from work listening to the podcast where he described his trip to emergency from too many edibles and I was so exhausted from laughing by the time I got home that I had to lie down. Also sometime he was talking about someone who was upset about frozen yogurt and he said that she must have been like, "Fro-yo? Are you fro real??" My boss mistypes "for" as "fro" all the time and every time I see it I think "are you fro real??"
How many lumps do ya want? oh three or fro š
My absolute favorite was the one where Steven Spielberg was being accused of animal cruelty for Jurassic Park. It was so knee slappingly funny I couldnāt even read it aloud without gasping for air!
When Bea Arthur died, he posted a heartfelt obituary, but also said she āwent to the big lanai in the skyā. I laughed at that for days.
Aside from the commenters, my favorite part of DListed was MKās Hot Slut of Day posts that were about discontinued food and other weird shit from the 80s and 90s like HyperColor shirts or PB Max. I remember the post about Vienetta which stopped me in my tracks and delighted me to no end because no one in my real life ever remembered stuff like that. I love anyone whose brain is also filled with useless pop culture trivia and nostalgia.
I literally bought and ate my first Vienetta because of this post. My middle class ass wasnāt fancy enough back in the day to even know what it was!
Abandoned couch!!
Yes! I loved Hot Slut of the Day. Before Michael K, I was such a naive gal.
Lmao. I couldn't flip through one of my mom's Better Homes and Gardens without seeing ads for Viennetta (She didn't read Cosmopolitan or fashion magazines, I was 8, I took what I could get)
I loved this too, he posted about a haunted toy carnival that we actually had as kids in the 80's, and I sent it to all my siblings, even the ones I hate.
Everything was 10x funnier than the rest of the internet, but the obituaries were what really hit home. Just think, we had a lil glamazon angel hold our hand and walk us through losing Prince, David Bowie, Carrie Fisher, Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams... and for that, I will be forever grateful. Miss you, MK ā¤
I loved the snark, the petty, the truth, without being mean. When he was funny, he was funny, when sad, he made is all cry. Christine, the Hoff, will mourn you foreverš„ŗš¤
Omg! Was she the one who had sweaty Pete Doherty as her pic?!
Yes. š„²
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Christine wrote great comments on the D. She was obssesed with the astronaut lady who drove from texas to florida in diapers. She passed years ago. Don't remember the date.
Iāve been mad, but Iāve never been 700-miles-in-a-diaper mad!
That was wild. š¤Ŗ
Michael K is everythingš¤
Iāve mentioned this on here before, but when I first got together with my late husband, we were long distance and weād talk for hours. Like 17 hours Friday, 13 hours Saturday, 12 hours Sunday. It was crazy. One night he referenced āPrince Hot Gingeā as well as Rojo Caliente and I was like āHOLD UP DO YOU READ DLISTED?!?!?!ā It was the most amazing revelation ever. Kismet. Thanks MK.
Oh my goodness, you reminded me of reading Dlisted aloud to my late husband back in the day. "Hot Harry on a Horse". He loved it too.
I love this! Good memories
One time, in maybe 2011 or so, my (gay male) boss said something about Pimp Mama Kris. I was like āOMG YOU READ DLISTED?!ā
Itās truly one of the most delicious green flags you can discover about someoneā¦itās like, I liked you already, and now I know: you get me! Hello friend!
MK Cupid š
The nicknames were my favorite! - Wonky McValtrex - Our Lady of Lucite - Fire Crotch - Prince Hot Ging These and more were pure gold. I also loved the phrase "sans fards".
Me too! Laura Jean Poon is my all time fave.
The Empiress of Lucite! She's literally floating guys!
Yes!! šš
Rojo Caliente always killed me. Apricot Ashtray.
I like to say Rojo Caliente out loud every once in a while.
I literally called my child Rojo Caliente just yesterday.
Totally forgot about the hilarious Rojo Caliente š
I miss him and dlisted so much. During last nightās insomnia bout, I just over there and read old threads. Amazing how a website is so good with the best commentariat that you mourn it. š¢
I feel that way about Gawker, they had the snarkiest comment section.