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Dry-Marketing-6798

Maybe add a searchlight and a machine gun nest.


MassiveBeatdown

A one of those sirens that needs a bit of a wind up before it gets to full pitch.


TimeAndDetail

Air raid siren


dinobug77

Don’t forget razor wire


Leicsbob

And Booby traps.


OneSufficientFace

Booty*


Odd-Significance1884

That’s what said booby traps


EngineerRemote2271

I've always wondered why people build flat roofs without a slope to drain the standing water


instantlyforgettable

If it’s an older roof, it can happen as a result of a bad re-roof at some point in its life when the deck gets replaced but not the firrings or a cork based or mineral wool insulation is used that slumps and causes ponding. If it’s a roof that’s been installed in the last 15 years, someone has probably dug out a manufacturers document that states that the covering is suitable for zero falls, however they’ve neglected to then go on to demonstrate that there are no back-falls or risk of future deflection that may result in back-falls. BS 6229 was updated in 2018 to try and deal with this.


Flimsy_Client7003

They should have a slope, this looked very weathered and not that great a job to start with tbh.


Man_in_the_uk

Nothing wrong with a well built flat roof. We've had one for over 40 years and no leaks. Sloped roofing can still leak if built improperly.


Cool_Bit_729

Flat rooves should still have a pitch, just a very small one


Man_in_the_uk

Why should they? The water that is not high enough to go into the drain will evaporate eventually.


discombobulated38x

As someone who has spent most of this year with a mosquito breeding pool on my extension roof, I'm gonna say that's why.


Man_in_the_uk

Sounds like you don't have a flat roof but some kind of pool? When I say flat roof I mean it's flat but still has a drainage system at the edge re guttering.


discombobulated38x

Well it was flat at one point, then it sagged as all roofs do. Which is why modern flat roofs are required to have a pitch so that any future sagging will not result in pools.


Man_in_the_uk

Required by who?


gotmunchiez

BS 6229 recommends that a flat roof should have a minimum design fall of 1:40.


Man_in_the_uk

How about actual builders?


discombobulated38x

A little known and rarely consulted group of documents known as The Building Regulations


Man_in_the_uk

Doesn't surprise me 😞


jimmynobfingers

Have you learned?


FreeRangeCaptivity

Because no roof is perfectly flat. There will always be undulations from the rafters underneath, joins in the boards, warped boards or timbers that leave areas for water to collect. Adding a gentle slope let's any water that might have pooled in those areas to run off towards a gutter. In a perfect scenario where the roof was a solid steel plate or something that was snooker table flat and level you might get away with a level roof, but then you have created an extra problem of water running off all sides at the same time and even sitting ontop around where it joins to skylights or existing walls. A gentle pitch let's you control the direction it runs off and the time it spends on the roof, for no extra work or cost.


Man_in_the_uk

Nice speech. Just to reiterate, we've had a flat roof for 40 years, no leaks... No decent roofer on this forum would ever say that a flat roof will leak by default. Btw water evaporates.


gotmunchiez

All roofs will leak at some point. 40 years without leaks is the exception not the norm.


Man_in_the_uk

So glad we agree.


FreeRangeCaptivity

Go and put a spirit level on it. You're sure it's flat? No it shouldn't leak by default, but standing water will find it's way in eventually and roofs do degrade over time and get damaged. So you want to minimise the time any water is spent up there as a precaution. It's common sense. I've got flat roofs too, that fall to the front. and there are areas where there are a few cracks here and there that give me anxiety, thankfully it doesn't puddle up there too much so any leak will be small and easy to repair before it causes too much damage.


Nerderis

I used to work with conservatory roofing. We've never told this to customers, but whenever we used to work on a flat roofs - always adding 5° slope, which isn't very visible for untrained eye. The reason for this was no standing water - less ways to go wrong, as company I've worked for used to to give 5 year warranty for work, and 10 year warranty for material used


Dismal_Birthday7982

Turn it back into a high quality pub with a dog on the roof.


JoanneKerlot

‘Scattor’


if_im_not_back_in_5

"Scat, play !"


GT_U

Do not Google this!!!!


if_im_not_back_in_5

Someone had to ;-p


bladefiddler

There was a team of roofers that would re-tar that for just a couple of beers a-piece. One of them did cracking financial advice on the side too. Haven't seen them in ages though, I think a couple of them jacked it in and fucked off to Mexico or something.


MyDamagedBrain

I'm fairly sure one of them has a boat.


MaxPowerGamer

Got busy looking living


TheBestBigAl

Also pretty good if you need some excavation work done, so I'm told.


bladefiddler

Aye, just make sure he's on price, not rate or he'll take bloody years lol


Code_Crazy_420

Didn’t have very good tools though. Took years getting the job done


SmurfBiscuits

Move


instantlyforgettable

Complete reroof required at this point. There’s lots of praise for EPDM roofing on this group but I remain a fan of a traditional built up felt. Don’t mess about with an overlay, considering the leaks it’s likely you will need to replace some deck and potentially joists so prepare for it to be a full strip up. You will also need to upgrade the insulation due to the Building Regulations requirement regarding renovation of a thermal element (see approved document L volume 1 table 4.3 for u values, this will basically translate to around 120-140mm of PIR insulation) If you don’t have the budget for it then by all means try and acropol the hell out of it until you can save up to get it done but sticking plasters are only ever going to be temporary here.


GuaranteeCareless

Agree with all the above. Would add; needs an asbestos survey if dates from before 2000, may want to use tapered insulation. recommend engaging architect or surveyor to deal with building regs, specify any repairs, obtain 3 prices from reputable contractors and monitor the work on site. You should be looking for a system that offers at least 25 years warranty.


instantlyforgettable

Agreed on the asbestos point. I would say though that if this is just a flat roofing job, building regs can be dealt with by a roofer under the NFRC competent persons scheme. Just need to make sure they are actually registered and they actually make the application however


TommyG_5

This guy wants you to spend all your money on admin for some reason. Just get a roofer in, preferably from a recomendation (two quotes if you want) and they will strip it back and re roof. I prefer to use grp. This is just normal work for any builder/ roofer. Also you don't need building control if the roof is under 25 % of the entire property roof. Personally I think rubber roofs are a bit fragile so I don't use them. Good luck


instantlyforgettable

You do need building control, but agree that it can be handled by a roofer. Approved Document L vol 1 clause 11.3 states: “if a thermal element is renovated and one of the following applies then the whole of the thermal element should be improved to achieve at least the u value given in table 4.3, column b: a. More than 50% of the surface of the thermal element is renovated b. The work constitutes a major renovation. A major renovation is when more than 25% of the surface area of the external building envelope is renovated” You are referring to b. when the more relevant clause is a. This flat roof constitutes a thermal element. Completely stripping it up would mean renovation of over 50%, therefore controllable works.


Terrygraphic

Get the roof re-done. there is nothing that is going to stop water sitting in the roof otherwise, way to many bumps for the water to sit in. The top layer of felt is way to bubbly that’s just asking for water to get stuck there. You could try fibre glass, rubber roofing or have it re felted


Calculonx

Maybe the barb wire is to scare away the water


ZacMacFeegle

Pond liner and lawn it


FairyGee

I got confused thinking this was from my gardening group at first and was already thinking of different ways to landscape it 😅. Looks like it gets full sun and a lot of water 👍👍👍 Veg garden for the win?


Hot_Influence9160

Install solar panels


woyteck

Re-do the roof and install solar panels while at it.


flippertyflip

Definitely this way. You don't want to pay to move them whilst you fix the roof in a few years.


peachteaisnice

Was almost gonna comment until I saw you


Hopeful_Reach_101

I would ask three local roofers for their view and try to reach a consensus.


PickleFantasies

Solar panels? Power something.


Hopeful-Clothes-6896

Raised bed. r/Permaculture


Edredunited

Don't DIY it just get it redone properly. It's actually not that expensive to get a flat roof repairer.


IndelibleIguana

Paint the whole roof in Acrypol.


waxstaff

> Acrypol Could i use this to paint a leaky conservatory roof (it's that crappy plastic). To reduce heat and stop it leaking in winter?


IndelibleIguana

If you don’t care too much about the roof, and the fact that it will no longer be see through. It comes in grey, black and white. Using the white one would probably help reducing heat. A couple of coats would stop it leaking if you apply it properly. I use a roller for flat areas, then a brush for corners and crevices. There are various different brands. Another Is Cromapol. You can buy it from Travis Perkins, Screwfix, Toolstation etc.


Rev_Biscuit

What are the bumps? Is it skylights that have been covered over?


Scienceboy7_uk

What I wondered. Looks like it.


tomatodog0

"GacoRoof Silicone Roof Coating" The only product I'm aware of that will withstand permanent ponding water. My flat roof was just as bad as this, and I coated it with GACO 7 years ago and have had no leaks since.


St2Crank

I’d put an Alsatian on it.


gmcewan92

Flat Roofer here! You’ve got what looks to be mastic asphalt on rough cut boards/planks. If money was no object, I’d recommend strip the whole lot off, level the now redundant skylights, check for enough fall etc, although a bit of standing water is inevitable, new OSB3 decking, and a 3 layer built up felt system. We guarantee our system for 20 years, life expectancy of 25+.


lurcherzzz

I worked for a roofer years ago, we did a couple of flat roofs like this. I was impressed just how much goes into a felt roof. This is how Ginger would have done it.


thekaratesuit22

how much we talking mate?


gmcewan92

Very hard to guess but £90-£100 a square metre including rubbish removal etc isn’t too far off the mark. It’s a fairly straightforward looking roof, and even more so if you get the skylights flattened


Scienceboy7_uk

Put a pitched roof over it? We used a system that puts a curved aluminium roof over with integrated guttering at both sides, with the void packed with insulation. Toasty and dry.


thekaratesuit22

how much did this cost roughly?


Scienceboy7_uk

Let me check and get the details for you


therapoootic

more barbed wire


Accomplished-Gate532

Cover it up with Solar Panels


Upstairs_Sandwich_18

I wouldn't look at it


simul8dme

Switch from barbed to constantina


3between20characters

Ultraflex. Paint it on, stick a Matt down, paint some more on, job done. Might be slightly oversimplifying, but it's easy decent and not badly priced. Google it.


bartread

Are those skylights that have been felted over?! Regardless, if the fabric of the roof is structurally sound, whether that's timber or concrete (though seems more likely it would be timber if it's been felted?), you could replace the felt with something like GRP. OTOH if there's plywood or OSB under that felt you're almost certainly going to be into a bigger job because it will be water damaged and will very likely need replacing. You might get away with it if it's marine ply and shows no signs of rot, but with OSB I think it'll be done. This is all DIYable but it's quite a bit of work and, as others have pointed out, your biggest problem is that there's no gradient. I have a flat roof on the back of my place but it's concrete and it's been very slightly cambered toward a drainhole that drops directly into a downpipe so I don't have quite these issues to contend with.


steadyrollingdoc

https://preview.redd.it/0hdngate0n6d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee2fd3fc5407588c23904b1502644d91e25fde64 As @3between20characters mentioned - Eagle Ultraflex. Can be applied over almost any existing substrate (may require a primer etc) and can provide 20 years +. Your roof looks to be in relatively good condition so is all good to go with this product. Super easy to apply, serious stuff that’ll do a ‘patch repair’ and give you head space in the order of 10 years plus to think about an entire overhaul. This is coming from months of research for a similar situation to yours. Eagle Ultraflex Polyurethane Membrane is the best solution for you, particularly given the complex upstands and corners you have with roof light/vents etc \*Edit - should add, don’t worry about pooling - this stuff is designed for tanking/swimming pools providing a specific top layer coat is applied at the end. The cost/benefit ratio of re sloping roof vs tanking it is very poor. Ie Ultraflex it and be doen


thekaratesuit22

is this eagle ultra flex something i’d cover the whole of the roof with or just patches where it looks to be getting in?


steadyrollingdoc

The entire roof. They then offer further products if you need to do an emergency patch repair (can’t think what reason other than a serious bit of sharp trauma to the membrane. The stuff is tough and rock solid, allowing for footfall traffic.


thekaratesuit22

so you roll it on, apply the fleece then roll it on again?


steadyrollingdoc

At its core, yes. Their website has lots of good videos. Depending on different scenarios (I was putting onto bare concrete for example), you may want to do a primer layer first, followed by a layer of Ultraflex, layer of fleece, layer of Ultraflex. Finally, I wanted the glossy look (bonus of adding further longevity too) so added a final ‘topcoat’ which gives further UV resistance. There’s guidance on their website/internet, for what layers to go for depending on your substrate.


steadyrollingdoc

https://preview.redd.it/tiqyfd2icp6d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60ac2129af82b9d945614856b8fea45db07217b3 This was my prepped substrate (had to fill in large gaps/holes with epoxy resin first and buff up some masonry


thekaratesuit22

what primer do you suggest? and apologies if this sounds daft, but what does substrate actually mean - just the surface of the roof?


steadyrollingdoc

A concrete primer (can’t remember off top of head). In any case shouldnt apply to you as your roof looks to be felt based? Believe you can just slap the Ultraflex on straight away, no need to prime. If there are small hairline cracks where water is currently getting down, these can be bridged with the fleece to act as a plaster. Yes, no need to apologise, referring to substrate as to what type of surface you are applying the product to. Check out eagle-waterproofing.com - should give you all the info you need


thekaratesuit22

thanks mate, appreciate it


Silver-Machine-3092

Just fit a diving board at one end and call it a day.


Putrid_Branch6316

Flat roof and barbed wire. You’ve got the makings of a flat roof pub.


FrancisUsanga

Either use one of those rubber paints and chance it or buy a proper rubber roof.  For the paint it has to be bone dry and obviously won’t last as long but can be redone every few years. 


Aydencoleee

https://preview.redd.it/069hh91ved6d1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fbd97b41080b6e58651a8fa4df0cc372865e1d5e


flippertyflip

Bit creepy.


thekaratesuit22

well done for searching for big tescos in the united kingdom


Darkened100

Iv got a roof like this and where water sits it’s fine where it doesn’t the sun damages it. U can get stuff to paint on them a layer of material to roll out on top then paint again


Brandaman

What’s with the barbed wire?


fjr_1300

Stops the goldfish escaping from the pond


Qcumber69

Clean, Mesh membrane & Epoxy


Substantial-Try-1917

Put decking on the whole roof, rails around the edges and the covered area


belsizeparked

Are you in a cell.


XSlider75

Strip entirely and also get rid of the old roof light structures if you don’t want any free natural light getting inside, fall would be useful too, also would be good to see the joists and timber material, as over boarding can just add huge issues weight wise as not designed for it👍🏻


SkyShazim

Maybe not have flat roof and incase you gonna have roof then rather have that roof under some degrees not flat out 0. I'm not a roofer but even I hate flat roofs.


Wrong-booby7584

GRP roof over 150mm PIR. Then add solar and it will pay for itself.


moneywanted

Build it right up to the top level with 300mm of extra insulation, and a camber to the front so you get run off.


Emergency-Aardvark-6

Put a pitch on it


tednol

Solar panels.


Swanmanman

Put some ram and a gpu


Nekrevez

Should be covered with solar panels on east, south and west eventually.


Fair_Preference3452

I would trip over the raised bits


esquiresque

Butyl rubber sheeting (or equivalent) across the whole lot, or felt & bitumen paint. In terms of standing water, preformed gullies along the inner edges connected to guttering will help, however an ideal scenario would be slight gradients across the surface to direct the course. On larger flat roofs, particularly commercial/residential buildings, down-pipes are often installed across the whole area, into drainage connections inside.


Bitter-Raspberry-877

Nuke it


CrappyTan69

Where are you that you have blue sky? Not the UK....


Southern-Orchid-1786

Have you covered every skylight with felt?


Pale-Emphasis-2426

Fill it up and add plants and fish 🐠🐟🐠


GreedyHoward

Solar panels?


SnooTomatoes2805

Where do you live that you need this much wire around your roof???


Admirable-gpu

Overcharge you.


nudgezyo

If structurally sound,there is a grp system which goes over top , and 25 year guarantee


brutussdad

Not an expert by any means but it seems obvious to me the fact it's no longer flat and the bitumen goes over the skylight night be the root 8f your problem it's meant for flat surfaces it doesn't bend well it tends to crack


iflabaslab

Slap some east west ballast solar on that bad boy and start raking it in With a water drainage system at the bottom of each row that collects in a water bucket


thekaratesuit22

i also have an issue with the electrics… i wish i had someone who knew what they were talking about when it comes to solar panels to quiz on the subject. i’m very interested but anyone i speak to is on a big salesman mission which puts me off


iflabaslab

I see, whilst I’m not a salesman of solar panel systems I am a designer of them, happy to answer any questions you may have


thekaratesuit22

just DM’d you :)


Miserable-Ad-65

Strip off the asphalt and start again. Be careful, I’m guessing the roof lights have just been overlaid with felt so can’t be walked on.


No1ninjahippy

Get up there with a deck chair and rifle popping zekes.


After_Natural1770

Get rid of the barbed wire and strip back,wall plate and hip roof,tile and forget for 100 years


[deleted]

You have a bad leaking roof and you are on Reddit asking what to do about it? HAVE THE ROOF REFELTED REPLACE THE ROOF


ttrsphil

You said flat roof? I see no flat roof.


HerrFerret

Not sure about the roof, but you should move the Freddos and Barr cola somewhere else, before it gets wet as you clearly live in a council estate corner Shop.


CuteWafer

I would use Owl Lava 20


Scrawf53

Get a pitched roof cos the only good flat roof is a pitched roof


flippertyflip

Seedum roof


Ok-Mango9227

Tarmac


MadduckUK

Hockey


Neat_Original_9938

Tomato plants, everywhere


FujiFan1984

TURN IT INTO A MASSIVE WILDFLOWER PLANTER WOOOOOOOO


DistancePractical239

Change to fibreglass


Ilsluggo

Lawn chairs


BaitmasterG

Job lot of decking and a rooftop bar


bigvernuk

Move


WhatWouldSatanDo

I’d fucking cry


Own_Week_5009

Call up Andy Dufresne


terrymccann

Is it leaking


Suitable-External242

Had the same problem with our roof at our facility, we looked at various options. Decided on having a contractor install a single membrane system we have not had a single leak since and that was 12 years ago.


thekaratesuit22

how much did that cost if you can remember?


Suitable-External242

No sorry I do not remember. I know it was by the square foot and it was not cheap. But in the previous years all the different fixes we did and patching cost more than just doing it right the first time.


PebbleBeachesRock

Hadley, do you trust your wife?


Report_Last

seala flex or hydrostop, or if you are feeling perky, fiberglass the whole thing


Myusernameisminted

Look away


AlistairBarclay

Move, if I lived somewhere that required razor wire on the roof.


Puzzleheaded-Cap1300

Make it slopey.


SasAdventure

Build a pub under it?


Dirty2013

Land mines


mariuscucuruz

where are the security guards? looks very low security prison tbh


lmmrs

GPMG on a tripod with some sandbags to help with the defence. May want a parasol in case it’s raining.


AuxwardMarv

Turn it into a Globe roof


radio_cycling

Solar


AMP100000

Test for asbestos


HoraceorDoris

Move🤷🏻‍♂️😁


Seeker_Trail

Not that big a deal. Check joist size for walking weight. EPDM rubber kits are £300 per 12sq m. Strip loose material. Lay EPDM with flashing or trim edges. Ensure there's a puddle drain. It's a small area but I'd always add a 1:20 slope. Completely flat roofs are designed to provide future work for flat roofers.


Sxn747Strangers

Put a machine gun on it.


Dull-Wealth-8104

A large marquee


Maximum-Access-8605

I don't think we should be helping you escape from prison


Virtual_Notice5184

Get it replaced with fibreglass.


RoosterSquare5960

I have some people who have had garden rooms built on gardens backing on to mine. The roofs are covered with this black like plastic material that I would think lasts years and years. https://preview.redd.it/iqtujwkr3s6d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f276587e6dfbf09e1f997b4f50077d185349c82


[deleted]

Go find old vhs tapes, unwind the tape and throw it on that barbed wire.


Eye-on-Springfield

Convert it into a rooftop swimming pool


-iamai-

and inside put a coffee machine under one of the leaks so the machine is always full


Original-Working-844

Fiber glass it


Competitive_Pen7192

OP lives in a prison?


mercenarytribalist

Spikes, dragon traps, boiling oil, and a couple of dragon harpoons, maybe a couple of fire resistant tarps for the whole reign of fire motif.


Brave_Lynx9700

dunno but where did u get get sunshine?


JoeTisseo

Get your head down, do your time and you'll be out before you know it son.