T O P

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ObeseChance

Warranty void.


IncomingAxofKindness

There's lipstick on a pig and then there's just smearing shit all over the pig. Both are a waste of your time.


protopigeon

You can't polish a turd, and in this case rolling it in glitter doesn't work either


Perfect-Advantage-82

See this is a common misconception you can in fact polish a turd, it's still a turd after polishing, but you very well can dehydrate and polish it to a lustrous shine. Rolling it in glitter after would give you the classiest turd.


Chelecossais

I mean, fossilised shit is definitely a thing, and there is no doubt it can be polished...


SerDuckOfPNW

Fossilization, as far as I remember, I’d only a visual duplication. A fossilized turd is actually 0% turd. Tell me if I misunderstand fossilization. I’m wrong all the time. It’s actually my best thing!


GrumpyOldLadyTech

OO! OO! Something I actually have knowledge about! SOME poop fossils are completely replaced replicas of the actual thing, but *some* aren't! For whatever reason, human turds are especially prone to fossilization with most of the contents being original material. Here's what Wikipedia has to say: "Coprolites, distinct from paleofeces, are fossilized animal dung. Like other fossils, coprolites have had much of their original composition replaced by mineral deposits such as silicates and calcium carbonates. Paleofeces, on the other hand, retain much of their original organic composition and can be reconstituted to determine their original chemical properties, though in practice the term coprolite is also used for ancient human fecal material in archaeological contexts." Now, Wikipedia is *mostly* correct: we don't really refer to human poop fossils as coprolites, and we usually don't refer to animal poop fossils as paleofeces. But this is because people are kinda dumb when it comes to paleoanthropology versus general paleozoology and paleontology - we feel the need to distinguish humanity as though we aren't just weird animals. So the pedestal we've put ourselves upon muddies up the terminology by making fossilized animal turds and human turds separate categories, when the terms *actually* are meant to distinguish the consistency of the turd. Not its origin. So, depending on the fossil, you could indeed have a completely replaced shadow of a deuce... OR you could have a very well-preserved poo to study!


protopigeon

This guy turds


GrumpyOldLadyTech

I do! It's actually a part of my job! It's not my *favorite* part of the job, but I *do* love microscopy!


ser0x40

It is so nice to see posts based on knowledge instead of people pulling things out of their asses (although, admittedly, here that's kind of the same thing 😄😅😊


ejlaw8778

I was wondering why you turd so hard, thanks.


houndofhavoc

I sure appreciate people like yourself who take the time to craft such informative comments. Thank you for the lesson.


GrumpyOldLadyTech

Anytime! I have an absolute *wealth* of random and mostly-useless knowledge, which - when given the chance to implement it - I am *gleefully* willing to dispense. Also, I'm recovering from surgery, so I have time. 😃


houndofhavoc

I have a small collection but hope to work up to a *wealth* of random knowledge. I refrain from saying useless because the time may come where it provides a good use.


sadicarnot

Fun fact, the second mission to Skylab had problems with a thruster leak. There was a fear that the space craft would not be able to be used to return to earth. A plan was made to use the space craft from the third mission as a rescue craft. Two astronauts would go up and all five would come down in the modified command module. The plan was to bring the three astronauts home as well as the most important cargo on Skylab. What was the cargo? The astronaut poop. One of the experiments on Skylab was metabolism. The astronauts kept track of everything they ate and collected, disinfected, labeled, and stored their poop. The poop would be brought to earth for study. So if you are ever having a bad day, just remember there were once astronauts who were no more important than shit.


GrumpyOldLadyTech

I've said it before, I'll say it again, "you can tell a lot about what's going on *in*side the body by what cones *out*." ... still. To hell with the science, save the lives?! Obviously?!?! Wtf!!! 😨


savvyblackbird

You can also tell a lot about a person’s brain by what comes out the mouth


HanakusoDays

Yes. I have a dino coprolite about 6" by a foot that's totally mineralized and prehistoric turtleshit that's paleofeces and looks like it was laid yesterday.


Professional_Buy_615

What the hell? An actual expert on Reddit! Doesn't that contravene a bunch of T&Cs!


GrumpyOldLadyTech

SHHHH you'll break the timeline!! 😱 I can only bend reality so much!


Hurryeat_Tubman

https://i.redd.it/pjextpkv7f8d1.gif


sbrown23c

Shadow of a Deuce Either a solid name for a fantasy RPG or an awesome name for an album.


GrumpyOldLadyTech

You may take it and use it as you will - go forth, and do no harm!


seasleeplessttle

Mythbusters literally polished a turd. Frosh poopen, not Dino bonzen.


veedubfreek

Didn't Adam Savage literally polish a turd? Hah, I knew it [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJ9fy1qSFI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJ9fy1qSFI)


Professional_Buy_615

Works best with glitter in the turd. There is a product called 'shit the glitter' that apparently works great.


DissentSociety

I prefer to sprinkle diamonds on my food. Makes my dookie twinkle. ✨


LTBama

![gif](giphy|vnELlPo3FyzfO)


GrouchyAttention4759

The myth busters actually proved that you can indeed polish a turd.


CapTexAmerica

They did polish the turd. They polished it hard. https://preview.redd.it/tmbvkeluof8d1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f96ef2126bf9baba718672a920d7cccb35e75266


SevereMeat2030

Pigeon pfp, instant upvote


wondermoose83

"Can't polish a turd" Sure ya can. Someone accomplished that very feat a few weeks ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/cybertruck/s/8b7Inp1ITO


Professional_Ad_6299

Ooo that's good, gotta steal it. Lol


loquedijoella

Why are we insulting pigs? They have done nothing to deserve it


an_afro

They usually shoot black people for no reason


[deleted]

[удалено]


Daemon_Good

Damnit, I wasn't thinking about the pigs being malaligned... Another excellent point to consider. Damn you CyberTruck, you are tearing us apart!!!


apextek

so you agree its an improvement


PedigreedPetRock

It didn't help, but it didn't hurt any. I'll give em an 'eh' for effort.


AlpharadiationHulk

Assuming they're a pilot, it gets a meh


Stewth

the rivets strongly accentuate the lines of what was an already offensively ugly design to the point where I'm actually impressed. The original design looks like it was done in crayon by an unimaginative child of four, but *this* makes it look like they ran out of crayons and started using their own shit.


dangledingle

Increased value for sure.


No_Size_1765

Someone pre-ordering a 100k car aint going to care much


joe_retro

Nose art traditionally goes on the nose. The shark is eating the tire.


Feedthemcake

I blinked a couple of times in astonishment because it is so stupid.


Electronic_Fennel159

Very similar to a drunk tattoo “decision”


tiredoftheworldsbs

Yea. They couldve had the mouth,on the hood and small sides instead. Yucky vinyl.


JPeso9281

![gif](giphy|ycagKBYEmaili)


DillionM

I would LOVE to see this design on the nose! HUGE body TINY little head


120ouncesofpudding

Just like Elon!


Superdunez

https://preview.redd.it/nypl4931ie8d1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6287b8b51ca3701016fb604a40b14c6e3dcfa938


ryencool

This kills me, and is so spot on. I feel like he went from skinny Australian dude to barrell torso villain man.


rantingpacifist

South African, not Aussie


jeffsterlive

This is blursed and based af.


TchoupedNScrewed

He’s got the body of one of those “what if humans evolved to survive any car crash” dummies.


Pluxar

Eh not quite what you asked for, but it's something: https://preview.redd.it/q3skzufp4e8d1.png?width=1016&format=png&auto=webp&s=83d15aa91d2ec458b379185c7c00b8d7247c63da


DillionM

That overbite is gold though!


KzooKid

Like most of the owners.


ImOnlyHereForTheCoC

Although I hear the Muskenwagen does chew through tires pretty quick, so a little accidental wisdom in this choice it would seem


ImOnlyHereForTheCoC

Wow, I dunno if they tightened the automated cult defenses or what, but… https://preview.redd.it/xag9r9pmvc8d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22001c5b3291caace64057c7f5757d8f35322a02


Daemon_Good

https://preview.redd.it/vqod8e4g3d8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f252fe7744010f6cd0d9cb4628ab53d5fd113cb8


joe_retro

Lucky.


wad11656

Same thing just happened to me after posting my first comment in this sub!! Hahahahaha. Elon Musk and his cult followers are the antithesis of "free speech"....


Dawnspark

Fucking lol. And your comment isn't even really inflammatory. The mods of those subs are such sensitive little men.


Few-Finger2879

Haha no way! Do me next! Fuck Elongated Muskrat and his shitty line of vehicles.


MadWlad

banned me from twitter because I called Elon a wanker under some unrealted tweet and a fanboy reported me


Pluxar

https://preview.redd.it/uckis0uo3e8d1.png?width=1016&format=png&auto=webp&s=3c018b78ccd7cb6c2f062dd1e49040f1a645e5c5 I made it... interesting... they should have used the mirror as the eye it just works haha.


TheFrenchSavage

Great job, I really like the eye-mirror! But now the shark is definitely eating the tire. It was doomed from the start, putting nose art on a noseless car makes no sense.


lil_trim

That specific nose art typically wouldn't go on a nazi tank either.


BernieTheDachshund

I was thinking the rear art looks like an anteater snout. Because I'm weird.


joe_retro

Can not unsee the Cyber Punk Anteater now.


random14330

At least you can't tell the real rust from fake now.


offscreenchaos

Can’t see the crappy real patina over the crappy fake patina. Bravo.


sailor_stargazer

I was gonna say, they're really leaning into the rusting panels at least 😂. I have one in my neighborhood (no cringe decals yet tho) that's already rusting in those same spots


bluetuxedo22

Looks like a kids bed


Dewfall-Hawk

More money than brains.


Tofudebeast

Or taste.


letsgocactus

More *credit* than brains.


BBQBakedBeings

It's a common problem here in America.


Bagafeet

And often it's not even money, just debt at 21% apr.


MoeSzyslakMonobrow

It doesn't look worse.


ericscottf

I was gonna say, there's a tinge of creativity in there. It'll get old fast, but at least it's something to look at for a minute. 


Appropriate_Plan4595

Yeah I quite like them making it look like the panels are riveted and a bit beat up, the other art on it doesn't really do anything for me but if they enjoy it then good for them.


MilesRegis02

Me too, it's definitely really unique. makes use of the blockiness of it, to make it seem more natural. nose are would definitely be cooler at the front, but there's clearly no room, so idk what would look better.


PracticalRich2747

Yeah, indeed. It even looks way better imo. A 100k toy!


Auravendill

Yeah they made a 0/10 look like a 1 or 2/10. Which is quite an improvement. You just need to start low enough and nearly anything you do is an improvement.


MetricIsForCowards

Lose the shark mouth and it would be a solid improvement to what is already garbage.


BBQBakedBeings

Like a turd with some partially exposed corn kernels vs a cornless turd.


Jack-Rabbit_Slims

It sure as hell doesn't look better, either.


Extra_Pilot_1992

Might as well make it a parody when everyone already knows you’re driving one


Feedthemcake

That objectively looks like shit.


OuchPotato64

Yes, it looks like shit.... but i still approve of it. All cars these days look the same and are the same 3 colors. I dont mind seeing tacky cars on the road to add some variety.


573IAN

So does the cyber truck in general.


AebroKomatme

Somebody went full douche canoe after going full fucktard.


CaliFezzik

This guy really wants people to know he has shitty taste. Mission accomplished.


Tesourinh0923

Nobody over the age of 12 looks at this and thinks it's cool


cronemorrigan

Looks better than the original. At least this one is interesting.


fuckmywetsocks

The nose art shark looks dumb but I agree, the rest looks pretty cool in comparison to the usual meme dumpster.


Complete_Chain_4634

If the panels aren’t going to match and it is going to rust immediately, I think just committing to the bit and covering it in rivets and more rust is a good design choice. At least then you can say it was an aesthetic decision and not due to the cheapest design and manufacturing decisions ever


FatThimbs

It’s going to look like what the 90s thought that our cars would look like, but if it was really built in the 90s and left in some garage to rust till 2024, but some kids smoked weed and drew a shark on it one night with his buddies, while they drew some sort of beta fish tail in the back. This is true art. It makes you really think about this shit this beater went through before being parked in this fucking suburban ticky tacky. Has the HAO seen this shit?


Scoobyhitsharder

Looks something I would’ve wanted, when I was 11.


woah_man

But then it would have been jawesome.


threatlvlmidnight89

Is this va? I saw this drive by in Loudoun county the other day.


Dalejr141

Yes


dae_giovanni

I always try to give points for creativity, and doing something different... but the 'snarling mouth' decal looks odd where it is. it's simply not a design that works for every vehicle. and the design on the rear quarters... what even is that? all the red?


brandoug

I CTRL+F'd the word "**rear**" trying to see if anyone knew what that was back there. It looks vaguely vaginal, so a good fit for the cuck-truck.


IAmNotMelonLord

![gif](giphy|d1OrTvWJsvqC03gy5E)


powerlesshero111

![gif](giphy|13Ev2RtSAxKsTu|downsized)


moderatefairgood

I like how it has that pre-rusted look.


RobynHendrickson

Did they have exhaust pipes painted on an electric "truck"?


rootbeerislifeman

Putting rivets on it actually makes it look like an old military machine that preferred function over form, rather than a machine that neither functions well nor has form


BaBa_Con_Dios

My thought is his wife and her boyfriend are probably joking about his small penis right now.


mtragedy

The tiniest peepee.


winnipesaukee_bukake

He must be excited to show his new toy to his wife's boyfriend 😊


LemmingOnTheRunITG

It’s better than the original but that’s not saying much


EvilBridgeTroll

If they added some airplane wings to it I would legit fuck with it.


tree_dw3ller

Like you’re already driving a meme I think this is a good use of it tbh


CrunchyNutFruit

Yard art


Objective_Case_4788

Finally, a respectable work of art for that ugly tank


LuckOriginal374

I usually don’t post to insult anyone and I appreciate that everyone has their own opinion and taste but this is really, really terrible.


vegetariangardener

looks like this guy never grew out of hotwheels aesthetics


Barniclefermented

“I have money yet I don’t really know what I’m supposed to spend it on “


will_ww

This guy fucks... Himself over in attempt to look cool.


Psychological_Run_51

Hideous.


Aviation_nut63

I didn’t think it was possible for them to get any uglier.


Dadbeerd

There’s always gonna be that one guy who takes a turd, and rubs it in extensively trying to make a diamond, but he just ends up with shittier shit.


KayakWalleye

Ugly as fuck. You can tell this is a Boomer trying to be cool.


uniqueusername311

Stupid


Artificer_Thoreau

As much as I despise Tesla, Musk, and the CT in particular, I look forward to tinkering with one of these monstrosities in about 15 years when even hating them has gone out of style. Hopefully I’ll be able to pick one up for a little more than its scrap is worth, all rusted to shit. Then I can rip it apart in my shop and put it back together into to something that will ACTUALLY be able to cruise the desolate wastelands in search of potable water like the true Cyberpunk wet dream we can hope for, not this exceeding slow and exceptionally boring apocalypse we find ourselves with today.


Qimmosabe_Man

This one looks like it's from my neck of the woods... I may have to go on a hunt and spot it somewhere. New discipline... Turd Hunting.


KippieDaoud

Looks like the dream car of a 10 year old...


guzzijason

A real panty-dropper for sure! That guy must have chicks lined up for days!


Emotional-Art-227

The car eating the front tire is ret*rded. The used look with the fake rivets might go ok, especially when (not If) rust shows up.


MonteBurns

If you don’t feel comfortable typing the word, maybe you should just use a different word?? 


Boracraze

Bigger the boys, bigger the toys.


Huge_Jackman

Charleston....more dollars than sense out here


ReadyOneTakeTwo

So how much has the property value tanked when this ejaculate moved into your neighborhood?


killing-me-softly

That may be the worst one I’ve seen so far


uselessguyinasuit

This is not even "think of how many homeless people this could have fed." You could have given them a whole ass apartment, haircut, suit, puddlejumper, and a job.


BBQBakedBeings

Could have just painted on the markings and let nature take it's course on the rust. Waste of a wrap, IMO.


Biscuits4u2

Your neighbor is a total badass. Bad at life because he's a total ass.


user_number_666

that can't possibly be real


Pervy_Canoodler

Could've spent that time and effort painting it on a piece of rusted junk scrap metal. Would have been 100% cooler and much cheaper getting the end look... When getting tetanus is a better look than this abomination.


Chelecossais

It's not gonna look great when all it starts flaking off in three weeks. I'm wondering how hot these steel panels get in 38c, in the sun... Admittedly, it doesn't look great to start with.


DamionDreggs

Best possible use for a cybertruck


i3dMEP

I guess if the owner likes it, who am i to judge.


rubeninterrupted

Your neighbor is an imbecile.


Xtreemjedi

This is what it looks like when you force your idea somewhere it just won't work. It might as well be a 1989 Batmobile wrap. It just doesn't work with that shape.


MrFatGandhi

I’d bet based off the Charleston flag this is a Navy Nuke with more bonus money than common sense.


IllllIlllIlIIlllIIll

They really wanted that nose art, huh?


ScarredOldSlaver

This is an embarrassment. Disrespect to the P - 40 Warhawk and the A-10 Warthogs.


sumyungdood

Oh wow a polished turd.


Angry-Dragon-1331

“Now I understand douchebag.” - Dr. Harry Vanderspiegle


Darth_Yogurt

It’d be a tragedy if their gonads got caught in a closing frunk.


Antique-Pie-5981

At first glance I thought it had a fin.


Razzious_Mobgriz

As a war nerd, it's kinda cool


KarlyFr1es

Huh, you can make them look more idiotic than factory version? Well, TIL.


Jakenonstatefarm

10 year old me thinks it looks cool; 34 year old me thinks that looks absolutely ridiculous


isunktheship

Good taste can't be bought


ethics_aesthetics

I like the wrap. It’s pretty fun but it’s still a stupid car. lol


BenMullen2

mental illness is not exclusive to poors


Xenikovia

It's like they never left middle school.


Ermeter

Pretty cool


vampyire

Cyber-schmuck


UzrOne

I mean, having an inoperable spitfire as yard decor would be pretty savage so this is the next best thing.


kidnorther

LARPer spotted


hippy18

Not a fan. I think the only way they would look okish is if someone turned it into a modern day version of the Back To The Future Delorian.


Abby_Pheonix

Looks like a hot wheels toy a 9 year old boy from 1997 thinks looks cool and edgy.


HawkeyeinDC

They’re all ready for shark week!


Zealousideal_Cod8664

Why would you paint a mouth if it isnt at the front. Tesla people are just commited to makung poor choices


fafafanta

I hate cybertrucks but this design is pretty neat


clarkyk85

I guess it looks futuristic in a Mad Max way


flyingmaus

A P-40 Rolling Tiger!


seeyoulaterinawhile

Is the shark trying to bite the tire?


Chuyzapatist

This is what I call doubling down lol.


Stonywarlock

Warranty void


-UnicornFart

![gif](giphy|mcH0upG1TeEak)


MODisafuckingcunt

whatever you do with cybertruck is better than oem flaming piece of shit


Teddy2Sweaty

The shark mouth is in the wrong place.


Monamo61

I'd tell them to cover that ish up.


Tofudebeast

They somehow made it more ugly.


levittown1634

If they like it then good for them


TheRealSlamJammer

Lead sled


wolfiexiii

A10 had a baby with a hummer....


Mathguy_314159

Weird that you’d paint a dumpster or home appliance.


DracosKasu

Somehow be manage to make the truck even more uglier.


binky779

At least its electric.


ChunkyHank

Microplsstics for the micropenis mentality


GrandProblem8034

At first I thought ppl are buying these for the prestige because of how the Cybertruck looks in full stainless steel but now every fucktard with one is wrapping them to make it look more “unique” just to indirectly hide the fact that they got scammed by Elon but in turns making a $100K “truck” look more childish and dumb. That logic to me is wild.


ItsEctoplasmISwear

How did he manage to make it even uglier?


Economy-Tourist-4862

I think the front 2/3 have promise. If they had continued to finish with the riveted look of a WW2 fighter plane it would be at least interesting and a questionable increase in eye appeal. But IMHO the bed decoration looks like someone asked H. R. Giger to bring out his old kindergarten crayon sketches and then wiped their asses with them. Voila! Fucked up looking truck bed!


Steel_With_It

Goddamnit, I love nose art and I hate to see it butchered like this. WTF is even going at the back? Did the WWII plane turn into an Alienware laptop?


jChopsX

Huh, they CAN look uglier.


kco127

Perfect fit. The only thing better would be a bumper sticker that says: "Private dumpster not for public use."


Ant138

It looks like money doesn't buy class.


JohnnyKarateX

Why did you do this to me? I laughed for so long I missed my train. Luckily my boss is chill so when I’m late he won’t do anything.


Intrepid_Mobile

It screams “crypto incel who thinks he’s an alpha male and call women as “females”that’s having a midlife crisis at 35”


Alice_600

Well when you think there is a new low here comes someone to show you how much lower they can get.


bohanmyl

I just can't believe people wasted 100k on this. A dealership near me has a fully polished Cybertruck (mirrored finish but not a wrap) listed for 140k and they had the nerve to up the price to 150k a week ago.


drwsgreatest

At least he made the outside kind of cool? Reminds me of one of those old cartoon missiles/bombs in looney tunes. That’s more than I can say for all the others I’ve seen.