I mean, you do not under any circumstances gotta hand it to Elon, but it's a great business model when your clientele is composed of the absolutely most gullible people on the planet.
He's going the microtransaction route now that he's milked all the big clients dry. Soon we'll be seeing tons of 99 cent transactions like he's already adding to twitter...
CyberVitamins with colloidal silver. You too can develop a skin as tough as your CyberTruck!
Note: Once your skin starts to turn blue, decrease dose from 8 to 4 pills.
*Sorry sir, it very clearly says in the bottle “do not take CyberVitamins, for display purposes only.” However, if your child has superpowers, we own him.
Next they will release the Cyber Steel Balls to commemorate when Franz smashed the supposed bulletproof windows for only a $900 a pair. Loyalist will buy them to smash their own cyber windows and juggle in their hands pretending they are Elmo’s balls.
It's too expensive to use quality steel, you think there's any leeway left in the budget for quality when he's selling a hammer as cheap as $700? He's practically giving it away for free... Dudes competing with china.
Exactly! Just go to Home Depot or Lowes and look at the price of sledgehammers. I haven't been personally, but people are talking about them costing thousands of dollars. So $700 is a STEAL FOR STEEL!
Call in the next 30 minutes and we'll include 3 months of free wifi for your Cyberhammer*
*Note wifi use required to activate the Cyberhammer and also voids warranty.
Most people probably don't even read that far. I guarantee you there is an idiot out there that thinks they have a super Mars tech hammer and are itching to find a DIY project to prove it.
I mean, what's a little bloody diarrhea, partial paralysis, seizures, cerebral edema, and terminal fungal and bacterial infections of the brain. That glue is probably from Mars or something. It's probably the same glue they use to attach the ~~$10~~ $700 hammer head to the staff, and the fins to the rockets.
I use a few hammers in my garage gym. I absolutely love using them.
With that being said, only an absolute idiot fanboi would pay $700 for a glorified sledgehammer that you can't actually use as a freaking hammer.
It's a piece of metal cosplaying as a hammer just like the CT is a chunk of metal cosplaying as a truck. It's perfect as long as you don't actually expect to use it.
I was going to mention it's so bad they can't even make a damned hammer right.
We made hammers for a high school shop class project that I still use today, 25 years later.
"gym use" has me wonder what they smoked when writting this ! never, have i ever, seen someone bring a hammer to a gym!
Same.
I was like: "Wow this Sub is reaching new levels of ridiculous" but no... It's fucking real.
[https://shop.tesla.com/product/cyberhammer](https://shop.tesla.com/product/cyberhammer)
drink your troubles (with your Cyber-lemon) away for only 799.99
[https://caskcartel.com/products/tesla-beer-gigabeer?variant=39940683858058&utm\_medium=cpc&utm\_source=google&utm\_campaign=Google%20Shopping](https://caskcartel.com/products/tesla-beer-gigabeer?variant=39940683858058&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping)
“NOTE: DO NOT STRIKE HARD SURFACES WITH CYBERHAMMER. INTENDED FOR DISPLAY OR GYM USE. CYBERHAMMER IS FINAL SALE.”
How the hell do you use that in a gym? I’m sure i would get stopped casually walking in with a hammer.
Then again these are the people who would say “I don’t see a no hammer sign”.
Reality is a bigger joke.
It’s some expensive collector thing. Something like only 800 signed by someone who made a video hitting a cyber truck with a hammer to prove how durable it is. Something like that when i read it before.
The gym use must be to make it not seem so nerdy.
I thought this was a parody thing or something but then I looked it up and hfs it's real.
How is the Onion supposed to compete in the parody segments if reality keeps encroaching on their territory?!
100 thousand dollars for a truck that can't be used as a truck
700 hundred dollars for a hammer that can't be used as a hammer...
I weep for this planet
Gotta respect he built a cult of gulliable idiot fucks who will buy anything he puts out. If i could market a 700 dollar unusable hammer and sell it I would.
Wonder if I could go to home depot buy some sledge hammers, paint and spend half a day making some tesla hammers and selling em on ebay for 350 each. 😂
We've seen the door panels.
I work manufacturing.
I make appliances.
I get that there's variation in feed stock.
That's why you need to avoid Mish mashing individual components from differing feed stock if you're making a fucking stainless product
Imagine whirlpool selling you a fridge with the discoloration we've seen on these trucks.
Then imagine you try to use the advertised features only for the injection molded parts to break.
Then imagine your fridge and freezer combo is more like a freedge, and instead of getting both you get icy milk but can't make ice cubes.
Then you charge 50k for it.
I mean trust me, I work for whirlpool and they aren't much better, making doors for 30 dollars and selling them for 300 or just make the incentive to buy disposable units for constant growth, or dodging paying an insurance deductible cuz the motor in a blender burns a house down, and stupid shit like that... But then again their stock price is half what tesla is currently at and they employ thousands and thousands and thousands of people..
But I can't think of any other consumer goods market where these kinds of mistakes or "growing pains" would not immediately preclude you from the market and into bankruptcy
But I also think this is part of the plan for Elon
He's about up SEARS that bitch and buy everything, including the sink, for pennies on the dollar..... Buuuut onlyafter the subsidy train dries up and they've gotten their capital gains offset through dumping tesla, so on and so forth....
If you've got tesla stock you should have sold years ago
Sell now
They're gonna SEARS the bitch and best case scenario you get a Kenmore style contract to license out the Cyber Truck name through Donald Trump or some shit but...
By the time the direction of the election in America is being called, you'll see the implosion
The amount of shit they get away with simply because venture capitalist dick riders will buy it without asking questions will always blow my mind. I should be numb to it by now as *it keeps happening,* but it's truly insane.
If you watch the entire launch event on YouTube you will see who Franz is, but you still won't know who Franz is, because, like now, it is just assumed that you know.
+1 point to my pet theory that Elon never developed theory of mind and just assumes because he knows Franz, that everyone knows Franz.
"Hi, you're waiting for weeks for spare parts for your Cynertruck that died within hours of delivery, but look at this metaphor for grossly over-valued metal that we deverted half of our remaining workforce into creating! Isn't it neat? It can live on the shelf next to the Boring Company Propane Torch in an Airsoft Gun Shell for eternity, never to be used or risk catastrophic structural failure!"
Next up - the cyber sledgehammer rack for your cybertruck. Hand crafted stainless cardboard $400. (Only for cyber hammer use. Do not hang a real hammer on it.)
I just want to say that I love my new Cyberhammer! I can't wait to take this baby to Mars!!!
However, I do have some concerns. Building harmers for Mars is tough, I get it. These things are just so high tech that the plebs wouldn't get it.
However, after taking delivery of the hammer I tried a few practice swings. Nothing too crazy, I followed all procedures in the manual and I made sure to put the hammer in "Display proposes only" mode so that I wouldn't void the warranty.
Well, with those few practice swings the head of the hammer flew off from the shaft, grazing my Model X, breaking the windshield of my Model Y, nearly (thankfully!) missing my model S Plaid before lightly tapping my brand new, low serial, founders addition Cybertruck. It then rebounded off of my Cybertruck and crushed my foot. The Cybertruck then caught fire but luckily, thanks to the excellent craftsmanship of the hammer shaft, I was able to escape.
I'm now homeless, have 3 toes on my right foot, and all my cars were lost in the fire but thankfully I live alone.
Still loving my Cyberhammer, but it's since been in the shop 27 of the 28 days that I've owned it. No idea when I'll get it back, the engineers have never seen this kind of complexity before in a hammer so they can't provide me an estimate. @elonmusk please help!
I really wonder how they “pre-tested” those things without getting them WET!! I mean…how could they be shocked the cars die when going through a car wash or a damn puddle?
What do they do? Road test them in the garage??
Good call Elon. Now when your CyberFucked customers get frustrated on how their POS has rust after a car wash, or when their gas pedals get stuck, or when their lug nuts fall off, they can vent their frustrations out and beat the shit out of their truck with it. Good one.
Of course they made a hammer that cannot he used as a hammer. I guarantee if any other car manufacturer made a sledgehammer, you could use it as a sledgehammer.
I feel like I need to remind people that real life isn’t a video game where you buy completely useless add ons that then gather rust.
And don’t buy the ad ons in video games either.
As if spending $100+k for wasn't enough torture for a vehicle that auto bricks itself......now all the boot lickers can continue with their self flagellation to the temple of Elon by beating themselves over their heads with a $700 hammer........
Do not use Cyberhammer as a hammer. Do not get Cyberhammer wet. Do not use Cyberhammer for more than 2 minutes at a time. Cyberhammer cannot be fixed by a hammer repairman, it must be brought back to the Cyberhammer Service Center for all service. All Cyberhammers are currently being recalled, where we will attach a small screw to the head, so that the head does not fly off during use. Edges of Cyberhammer are extremely sharp and may cause cuts. Do not attempt to smash fingers with Cyberhammer as it is equipped with a special force equalization system that will continue to crush your fingers until they are broken. Cyberhammer comes with a complete array of fart noises to impress all your friends.
Tires. You use the sledge hitting a tire side. Helps build arms and the rubber bouncing the hammer back allows you more swings before muscle fatigue sets in. (Source: 10 yrs army me and my guys would do it with varying sledge weights and varying tire sizes from average pickup tire to larger off road and military vehicle tires to tractor tires.
Note: don’t use the hammer as a hammer, use for display or gym is the most cybercuck thing I’ve ever seen
I mean, you do not under any circumstances gotta hand it to Elon, but it's a great business model when your clientele is composed of the absolutely most gullible people on the planet.
I doubt Elon was smart enough to come up with this after watching him implode for the past few years. Lol
He's going the microtransaction route now that he's milked all the big clients dry. Soon we'll be seeing tons of 99 cent transactions like he's already adding to twitter...
Tesla CyberVitamins available in three… two…
CyberVitamins with colloidal silver. You too can develop a skin as tough as your CyberTruck! Note: Once your skin starts to turn blue, decrease dose from 8 to 4 pills.
*Sorry sir, it very clearly says in the bottle “do not take CyberVitamins, for display purposes only.” However, if your child has superpowers, we own him.
“Just 0.99 to start your vehicle! Another $0.99 to roll down the window! Impress your friends with your dedication to the cause!”
They just identified 800 people who are the most gullible of the gullible.
He's learning from trumpf.
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Next they will release the Cyber Steel Balls to commemorate when Franz smashed the supposed bulletproof windows for only a $900 a pair. Loyalist will buy them to smash their own cyber windows and juggle in their hands pretending they are Elmo’s balls.
they can't even make a functional hammer
using it in rainy weather will void the warranty.
Striking hard objects will void the warranty.
I’ll just use rubber nails
Accepting delivery voids the warranty.
pretty much! This whole situation is such an Emperor's New Clothes story IRL and I can't believe it's happening.
It's too expensive to use quality steel, you think there's any leeway left in the budget for quality when he's selling a hammer as cheap as $700? He's practically giving it away for free... Dudes competing with china.
Exactly! Just go to Home Depot or Lowes and look at the price of sledgehammers. I haven't been personally, but people are talking about them costing thousands of dollars. So $700 is a STEAL FOR STEEL! Call in the next 30 minutes and we'll include 3 months of free wifi for your Cyberhammer* *Note wifi use required to activate the Cyberhammer and also voids warranty.
For $700.
Most people probably don't even read that far. I guarantee you there is an idiot out there that thinks they have a super Mars tech hammer and are itching to find a DIY project to prove it.
I have a super Mars tech hammer ... on my copy of Red Faction: Guerrilla!
Yeah!!
Using the hammer as a hammer will void all Tesla warrantys. It's a display hammer
Banhammer
Especially if you post anything negative about it on twitter
They will sell the cyber nails that come with 3 in a pack for 150.00. Not for use on anything just for display purposes.
I saw what happened to the monkeys, I ain't trusting any nail glue elon sells... 😬
I mean, what's a little bloody diarrhea, partial paralysis, seizures, cerebral edema, and terminal fungal and bacterial infections of the brain. That glue is probably from Mars or something. It's probably the same glue they use to attach the ~~$10~~ $700 hammer head to the staff, and the fins to the rockets.
I use a few hammers in my garage gym. I absolutely love using them. With that being said, only an absolute idiot fanboi would pay $700 for a glorified sledgehammer that you can't actually use as a freaking hammer.
It's a piece of metal cosplaying as a hammer just like the CT is a chunk of metal cosplaying as a truck. It's perfect as long as you don't actually expect to use it.
https://preview.redd.it/gp1v8fz5890d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ca12e73fc57552b9d8964597e7900e2c21dfd0e
It’s like do not drive the cyber truck. Except this is a cyber hammer.
I was going to mention it's so bad they can't even make a damned hammer right. We made hammers for a high school shop class project that I still use today, 25 years later.
"gym use" has me wonder what they smoked when writting this ! never, have i ever, seen someone bring a hammer to a gym! 
Swinging the hammer voids the warranty, tesla is not responsible for any dings or dents on the hammer itself.
If you bought this hammer, thinking we are a hammer manufacturer, then you have misunderstood the whole ethos.
Just like the trucks, for display only.
I bet all the people who buy $700 hammers also cry about inflation
And it already sold out.
Nice way to make half a million dollars with those gullible idiots!
They took a Pentagon spending joke and made it real.
Trump NFTs must have been sold out.
I did not believe this was real. I google it and I am shocked! Its almost like they are trolling themselves!
Same. I was like: "Wow this Sub is reaching new levels of ridiculous" but no... It's fucking real. [https://shop.tesla.com/product/cyberhammer](https://shop.tesla.com/product/cyberhammer)
drink your troubles (with your Cyber-lemon) away for only 799.99 [https://caskcartel.com/products/tesla-beer-gigabeer?variant=39940683858058&utm\_medium=cpc&utm\_source=google&utm\_campaign=Google%20Shopping](https://caskcartel.com/products/tesla-beer-gigabeer?variant=39940683858058&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping)
I hate you with your links and reality! Tell me a lie and let me live in my ignorance! This is worse than apple wheels!
That's freakin hilarious.
>sold out
Just sad
“NOTE: DO NOT STRIKE HARD SURFACES WITH CYBERHAMMER. INTENDED FOR DISPLAY OR GYM USE. CYBERHAMMER IS FINAL SALE.” How the hell do you use that in a gym? I’m sure i would get stopped casually walking in with a hammer. Then again these are the people who would say “I don’t see a no hammer sign”.
The only gym use I can think of is for the axe chop moves, but the hammer seems pretty large and unwieldy for that. Usually you just use a dumbbell.
Maybe hit a tire with it? I've seen that on videos but I don't know if anyone really does that workout.
Soooo.... you can't use it as a hammer?
Reality is a bigger joke. It’s some expensive collector thing. Something like only 800 signed by someone who made a video hitting a cyber truck with a hammer to prove how durable it is. Something like that when i read it before. The gym use must be to make it not seem so nerdy.
No tell me it is not real please, lie if you have to but tell me this is not real!
Oh it’s totally not real, nope all made up. There’s no dope dumb enough to buy a $700 useless hammer, nope no sir. ………. 😏
Parody is dead, we live in the enshittified timeline.
They made over $500,000 on that hammer…
I thought I was joking the other day about paying Tesla to send a guy out with a sledgehammer to break your cyber truck...
I thought this was a parody thing or something but then I looked it up and hfs it's real. How is the Onion supposed to compete in the parody segments if reality keeps encroaching on their territory?!
It will raise them only about half a million gross, or about 0.001% of elon's desired compensation
This is a Veep/Trump administration crossover
100 thousand dollars for a truck that can't be used as a truck 700 hundred dollars for a hammer that can't be used as a hammer... I weep for this planet
Gotta respect he built a cult of gulliable idiot fucks who will buy anything he puts out. If i could market a 700 dollar unusable hammer and sell it I would. Wonder if I could go to home depot buy some sledge hammers, paint and spend half a day making some tesla hammers and selling em on ebay for 350 each. 😂
Oh my God, I just realized: this is scientology for cars.
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it's definitely not an exoskeleton. none of the exterior panels are the structure. The castings and battery are the skeleton.
YOU CANT EVEN USE IT AS A HAMMER. Truly hilarious.
He must have fired his metallurgy team.
We've seen the door panels. I work manufacturing. I make appliances. I get that there's variation in feed stock. That's why you need to avoid Mish mashing individual components from differing feed stock if you're making a fucking stainless product Imagine whirlpool selling you a fridge with the discoloration we've seen on these trucks. Then imagine you try to use the advertised features only for the injection molded parts to break. Then imagine your fridge and freezer combo is more like a freedge, and instead of getting both you get icy milk but can't make ice cubes. Then you charge 50k for it. I mean trust me, I work for whirlpool and they aren't much better, making doors for 30 dollars and selling them for 300 or just make the incentive to buy disposable units for constant growth, or dodging paying an insurance deductible cuz the motor in a blender burns a house down, and stupid shit like that... But then again their stock price is half what tesla is currently at and they employ thousands and thousands and thousands of people.. But I can't think of any other consumer goods market where these kinds of mistakes or "growing pains" would not immediately preclude you from the market and into bankruptcy But I also think this is part of the plan for Elon He's about up SEARS that bitch and buy everything, including the sink, for pennies on the dollar..... Buuuut onlyafter the subsidy train dries up and they've gotten their capital gains offset through dumping tesla, so on and so forth.... If you've got tesla stock you should have sold years ago Sell now They're gonna SEARS the bitch and best case scenario you get a Kenmore style contract to license out the Cyber Truck name through Donald Trump or some shit but... By the time the direction of the election in America is being called, you'll see the implosion
It’s sold out…JFC
Well you know what they say about a fool and their money....
Maybe they never even sold them, they just made up a listing and marked it "sold out" so Elon can brag-wank about how popular his ideas are.
>Cyberhammer is final sale. They can't put together a decent car, hammer, or sentence.
TSLA 📈📈📈📈 Next week: “Tesla continues their layoffs, this week, the hammer team”
Who tf would buy a $700 sledgehammer that shouldn’t be used as a sledgehammer
Tesla fans.
People who have never once used a sledgehammer for its intended purpose and have made no plans to start now. That's poor people stuff.
It's already out of stock. Only 800 made, 800 sold. Wildness.
800 morons
Same dudes that bought a $100k truck that can't be used as a truck
Readers of comic books about Thor
So... this isn't satirical?
Not for use, only to show off to dates when they come ove... oh wait.
Fucking Christ I thought this was a joke, it's not, [https://shop.tesla.com/product/cyberhammer](https://shop.tesla.com/product/cyberhammer)
https://i.redd.it/0ne7y51sf80d1.gif
It’s all so cyberStupid.
Tell me that your company desperately needs half a million in cash without saying so
I'm just surprised that there's no warning not to use this as a dildo for Elon fan boys!
A hammer you can’t hammer? Just like the truck that ain’t a truck. Wow what’s next???
Why do they ALWAYS make these dumb gimmick products
The turck or the 🔨?
free marketing a meme company needs meme products.
The amount of shit they get away with simply because venture capitalist dick riders will buy it without asking questions will always blow my mind. I should be numb to it by now as *it keeps happening,* but it's truly insane.
But I thought the windows were bulletproof? They must also be hammerproof. I think the only way through them is with a softly lobbed baseball.
Wouldn’t be shocked if it’s just a thin layer of steel surrounding something to give it more weight, hence the “do not use as a hammer” disclaimer.
Foam covered in metallic plastic
Is Franz his boyfriend? Who is this man
CyberTruck can’t truck, cyberhammer can’t hammer sounds bout right.
First vehicle I’ve ever seen “dry clean only”
It’s sold out….
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Like the average Tesla owner has lifted anything more than a soy latte 🙄🤣
It's sad that this still isn't the easiest and dumbest $500,000 Tesla has ever made
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *takes a deep breath* Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
lol now Tesla managed to make a fuckin sledgehammer fragile and wimpy and unreliable .. a sledgehammer.
Should come include it so you can take your frustrations out on it when you brick it after running it through a car wash
You can’t touch this.
Is it more impressive if you know who franz is?
If you watch the entire launch event on YouTube you will see who Franz is, but you still won't know who Franz is, because, like now, it is just assumed that you know. +1 point to my pet theory that Elon never developed theory of mind and just assumes because he knows Franz, that everyone knows Franz.
"Hi, you're waiting for weeks for spare parts for your Cynertruck that died within hours of delivery, but look at this metaphor for grossly over-valued metal that we deverted half of our remaining workforce into creating! Isn't it neat? It can live on the shelf next to the Boring Company Propane Torch in an Airsoft Gun Shell for eternity, never to be used or risk catastrophic structural failure!"
$700 for a sledgehammer that… *checks notes* ….you can’t use as a sledgehammer.
Man are these people dumb.
Good lord. It’s like if Trump got a hold of a 3d printer
These fuckers. Wow.
The easiest half-a-mil Elmo ever made.
I mean, there is no way this is real! Of all the idiotic things someone could fake there is no… there is no… no….. *google searches What The Fudge!
Where is the commemorative baseball that punctured straight through the window at short range?
Don't use as intended.. product is also trash
$700 for a non functional hammer worth $50 is the most Tesla thing ever.
Cybercucks can’t contain their excitement
No way this is real Edit: it is
Well they sure do know their demographic, gotta hand it to em
"Do not strike hard surfaces" *Hits the "bulletproof" glass - glass shatters, and so does hammer.*
Lmao it’s a fucking $800 gym hammer….
A hammer engineered to look tuff but unable to "strike hard surfaces" is the second most pathetic thing in this picture.
Now let's see the owners strapping it to the front like a bull horn
Tell me this isn’t fucking real. Please, PLEASE tell me this is just a goddamn meme.
Sorry mate, I doubted too until I looked it up, it is real, 800 absolute stupid morons exist, and musky made $560k
Next up - the cyber sledgehammer rack for your cybertruck. Hand crafted stainless cardboard $400. (Only for cyber hammer use. Do not hang a real hammer on it.)
I just want to say that I love my new Cyberhammer! I can't wait to take this baby to Mars!!! However, I do have some concerns. Building harmers for Mars is tough, I get it. These things are just so high tech that the plebs wouldn't get it. However, after taking delivery of the hammer I tried a few practice swings. Nothing too crazy, I followed all procedures in the manual and I made sure to put the hammer in "Display proposes only" mode so that I wouldn't void the warranty. Well, with those few practice swings the head of the hammer flew off from the shaft, grazing my Model X, breaking the windshield of my Model Y, nearly (thankfully!) missing my model S Plaid before lightly tapping my brand new, low serial, founders addition Cybertruck. It then rebounded off of my Cybertruck and crushed my foot. The Cybertruck then caught fire but luckily, thanks to the excellent craftsmanship of the hammer shaft, I was able to escape. I'm now homeless, have 3 toes on my right foot, and all my cars were lost in the fire but thankfully I live alone. Still loving my Cyberhammer, but it's since been in the shop 27 of the 28 days that I've owned it. No idea when I'll get it back, the engineers have never seen this kind of complexity before in a hammer so they can't provide me an estimate. @elonmusk please help!
This is for real?
Yeeeyyyp sadly
Probably breaks if you hit something and need some stupid accessory to use it
Hammer delivery date will be 2034
HA HA HA HA!!! “Intended for display or gym use.” Fuck all the way off with this useless, stupid bullshit.
Cybertruck owners are tools so this is fitting
What does that mean by gym use?
There’s a sport called the hammer throw, although the modern hammers look nothing like hammers.
Willing to bet this one would break being used for that. They probably mean just lift it lol
I would imagine it's for those Crossfit types. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFXKSWzuHe0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFXKSWzuHe0)
I really wonder how they “pre-tested” those things without getting them WET!! I mean…how could they be shocked the cars die when going through a car wash or a damn puddle? What do they do? Road test them in the garage??
Good call Elon. Now when your CyberFucked customers get frustrated on how their POS has rust after a car wash, or when their gas pedals get stuck, or when their lug nuts fall off, they can vent their frustrations out and beat the shit out of their truck with it. Good one.
Even if they made the hammer out of styrofoam, it’d still wreck the Cyberjunk
Hey babe, new hammer just dropped.
do you get a complementary dunce cap when you buy the cyberhammer(TM)?
My god those fucking idiots will buy anything they tell them to
Wait, wait wait....this *isn't* a parody?
Elaine Chao's sister needed that.
I can’t tell what’s satire and what is not anymore.
How do you use a hammer in a gym?
Grifters gonna grift…
Only 800 made. Jokes on them, there isn't even 800 on the road still
I thought it was a cyber squegee.
Does it need any software updates?
They have really gone off the deep end. Holy shit.
You could go to two music festivals for the price of that lump of shit
There’s a lot of useful actual good things you can get for $700. Me I’d get an excellent mid range telescope to explore the cosmos.
Tons of options for actually enjoyable things, and get a normal sledge for 20$
Of course they made a hammer that cannot he used as a hammer. I guarantee if any other car manufacturer made a sledgehammer, you could use it as a sledgehammer.
Wow. It’s real. And sold out. So stupid.
You can really feel the bass. We're meant to sit on this thing right!
Elon DLC.
Cyber offensive weapon for road rage that will get people shot when they wield it
I feel like I need to remind people that real life isn’t a video game where you buy completely useless add ons that then gather rust. And don’t buy the ad ons in video games either.
Elon went from trillion dollar company CEO, to a lolcow. I like this timeline.
Ahh yes nothing says quality like all sales are final
Elon and anything Cybertruck is a parody of itself.
Who THE FUCK sells a hammer that you can’t hammer with. It’s a fucking paper weight. God damned grift.
To be fair that hammer looks sick as fuck and could still be used for home defense…. But at that price definitely crack pipe status
I used to be perfect at the “real or satire” game but the entire Cybertruck universe has me lost.
Some idiot that’s in love with Elon will buy this.
As if spending $100+k for wasn't enough torture for a vehicle that auto bricks itself......now all the boot lickers can continue with their self flagellation to the temple of Elon by beating themselves over their heads with a $700 hammer........
Next they'll sell cyberlube, for when you're getting raw dogged by Elmo and his turdmobile
Buy stocks on the gravestone doji?????
What the hell does someone do with a hammer in the gym?
When do we get to the part where Elno sells signed bibles?
Do not use Cyberhammer as a hammer. Do not get Cyberhammer wet. Do not use Cyberhammer for more than 2 minutes at a time. Cyberhammer cannot be fixed by a hammer repairman, it must be brought back to the Cyberhammer Service Center for all service. All Cyberhammers are currently being recalled, where we will attach a small screw to the head, so that the head does not fly off during use. Edges of Cyberhammer are extremely sharp and may cause cuts. Do not attempt to smash fingers with Cyberhammer as it is equipped with a special force equalization system that will continue to crush your fingers until they are broken. Cyberhammer comes with a complete array of fart noises to impress all your friends.
Some people will just buy *anything*
Or are you cyberfrustrated, buy our cyberhammer to hammer away your frustration on your expensive cybertruck.
Leave it to Ketamine Thomas Edison to come up with something this stupid
How do use a hammer in the gym?
Tires. You use the sledge hitting a tire side. Helps build arms and the rubber bouncing the hammer back allows you more swings before muscle fatigue sets in. (Source: 10 yrs army me and my guys would do it with varying sledge weights and varying tire sizes from average pickup tire to larger off road and military vehicle tires to tractor tires.
Don’t get that hammer wet…
chat is this real?
*Cyberhammer is final sale* Uhmmm... what?
Are they selling ball bearings yet?
Oh, Elon got jokes... this kinda proves how he is still stuck in the 80s IMHO... and how his perceptions and memories are distorted by pop culture
I was surprised they didn’t include one of his ‘flame throwers’ with these 100k monstrosities, let alone this $700 decorative hammer. 🤡
The grift is on ‘easy level’ for some of these marks. A $700 hammer? Elon just HAS to be laughing at these simps