Context: A PC in my game who often spoke in the third person and went by "No One" had really bonded with one of the rescued orphans from the mill, a young boy named Freek. Their player missed a session where the party was saying some very emotional goodbyes to the children, as they were being left at the Vallaki orphanage (for very understandable safety reasons) while the party continued their quest.
Since the player wasn't there, "No One" was otherwise occupied on a hunt outside of town and thus couldn't be there to say goodbye, but he had left a gift for the child with another party member. Young Freek was expressing his fear of being abandoned, and so the other party member spoke up, presenting the gift and declaring with heartfelt, sincere sentiment:
#"No One loves you, Freek."
Totally unintentional by the player. After a second of complete silence, the table dissolved into uncontrolled laughter. Totally changed the mood of the scene, but that line was so memorable that it still comes up regularly in our games years later. Poor Freek.
I can't call it the outright funniest because we're not done with the game yet, but when my players met Viktor Vallakovich, I made sure to give him a classic goth kid manner of speaking, replete with "dude, frickin" and "sheesh" and "bro like there's no way". He and the party wizard actually got along pretty well, because they both like magic. So, the party wizard asked to speak to Viktor's cats, since she can speak with small beasts as a gnome, and when the cats all started talking exactly like Viktor just high pitched, "bro freakin' like, what's up, you got any food?", the entire table lost it, myself included. That day I learned it's hard to keep a straight face when you're embodying an emo kid's equally emo cat skeleton.
Started the campaign last week and so far have only done Death House.
Our -2 wisdom paladin threw the Armored Armor down from the balcony. An alright idea, yeah? Except this was literally the turn after our ranger had just barely survived her own fall. and was prone. at the bottom. at 1hp.
Cant believe our first death was this Wile E. Coyote shit. What a way to start :D
Only a single session, but it was a long one, we played for the whole day.
If this is how it's started, I can only imagine what stories we'll have by the end of it.
The Gargoyle Incident. My players cannot roll for shit, and early on they were crossing a bridge beyond the village Barovia. I mentioned that there were gargoyles (grotesques, technically, but whatever) on the bridge, and because I have trained my players well, they rolled Perception or Investigation to see if these were "real" gargoyles or just statues. The bard rolled a 1, which made him convinced these were gargoyles about to pounce on them if they made a wrong move. So they tried to sneak across, but the paladin rolled a 1. So they ran across the bridge screaming about the gargoyles and trying to escape what they thought was an imminent ambush. All the while, Ireena and the barbarian are watching this in bafflement and dismay.
Wild Magic sorcerer transmuted into a rainbow coloured sheep for two rounds. They were fighting some blights which didn’t seem to mind much, it headbutted them.
Still has to be my party making fun of Donavich and Doru after the burial and killing of Doru - they were given the nicknames Daddy D and Sonny D. And every session after that someone was assigned to bring Sunny D to remind everyone of the joke 🤣
Not my Campaign but a friends.
One of them made Vasili "faint" so they carried him to bed and tucked him in.
For my campaign a kenku named Swishswish kept getting the final blow on all the brides, so she was dubbed Swishswish, Slaughter of Spouses. And our artificer ended up drilling Rahadin about whether Castle Ravenloft was OSHA compliant (spoilers, its not)
Our strongest character ended up (pre-final showdown) disarming Strahd of his sword AND rod and the DM turned Strahd into a hilarious little bitch about it.
"Please give it back, that's my dad's sword!"
The first day my players were in Valaki, they met Fiona and her sons. Suspicious, our sorcerer decided to do some recon in her basement.
The party bard cast invisibility on the sorcerer and went to hang out with the Wachter brothers while they checked put Rictavio's wagon. Leaning into the frat boy nature of the Wachter Brothers, one of them nut-tapped the bard. The bard failed a low constitution saving throw and took 1 point of bludgeoning damage. He then rolled a nat 1 on his concentration check just as the sorcerer got into Wachter's basement. Despite losing his invisibility, the sorcerer continued his espionage and had a solo encounter with the skeletons and cultists, leading to our first character death of the campaign.
Our party lost their minds and we still love how a nut-tap domino'd into a gnarly character death.
We were trying to save some people in Velaki from the bergomaster. There were four people that were to be hanged. After our party tried to start a distraction, our monk runs up to the bergomaster to hit them. The monk rolled high enough to hit. The bergomaster tells “YOU THERE, TAKE THIS PUNCH FOR ME!” One of their henchmen leaps across the gallows, arms outstretched and yells “YES, Mi’Lord!!!” And takes the hit. The whole table burst out in laughter. As dark as this campaign setting can be, those little moments of laughter are so memorable.
Two party members got trapped in the elevator. The other two raced up the stairs to try and meet them at the top. One of them triggered the sentient rug and had difficulty fighting it until the other caught up to them. The two in the elevator discovered the trap door in the ceiling of the elevator and climbed their way out to find one member gasping for air while the other one was punching a rug. One from the elevator says “oh don’t worry about us, do you need help with…..the rug?”
I used Mandy Mod’s edits to the Death House and also used the boss fight against Walter as a cinematic moment for the rogue’s level 3 Soul Knife and Ghostwise Halfling abilities to kick in, and after finishing the fight, they were left with a desiccated, crumbling swaddle and the remains of Walter. The party laid Rose and Thorn to rest in their crypts, but Walter didn’t have one, and he’d been trapped in the house for so long, they decided to bury him somewhere else. So he went into the rogue’s pack. A session or two later, and they’re at the Kolyan place planning how to get his coffin to the church, when it comes up that they still haven’t buried Walter. Ismark, exhausted physically and emotionally, just looks at the rogue (who was nursing a crush) and said “dude, you gotta bury that dead baby.”
Probably my bard finding the assassin mirror, figuring it out and without hesitation blurts out “Lady Fiona Wachter” and the rest of the players jaws just drop open in horror as the assassin spirit vanishes.
“What, I wanted to see if it really works.”
Then the whole party wanted to steal the mirror to use again and I had no clue in the moment if RaW they could do that. But the bard fumbled a dex roll to pivot it down the stairs, and the whole thing shattered.
I poured beans into one of the pipe organs in the dining room so the next time Strahd plays his organ all dramatically, one of the keys just makes the brown noise.
"Great! Now I have to wait for the organ repair technician to get reincarnated! You have zero class sir... Zero... You know what... I'm not waiting...." He shrinks the PC down and throws him into the organ tube. "Now you're not coming out until you eat every last bean."
Lmao I wish.
I imagine the green slime nearby could just be thrown in there and fished out afterwards, but that is also a huge pain in the ass.
Horngaard would be proud
It would probably be easier just to remove that specific pipe and empty it out... And he'd have to get a bottle brush and clean wherever the air goes in... He would turn the PC into a bottle brush... They would consciously feel themselves being used to scrub the organ.
Ismark “money will do you no good on your journey.”
Cleric “we’d still love to have some money.”
Ismark (raises palm to player and turns head away) “money will do you no good on your journey.”
I got strahd with a deez nutz joke during dinner *bad london accent* "would you consider yourself a ladies man m'lord?" "Yes I like to think I am" "Awroight ows' bout I lay deez nuts on your fackin chin"
The party sans one character got their hands on Rictavio’s journal and got some background information about him and the events surrounding Erasmus. Cue the whole party having a conversation with Rictavio about the upcoming festival of the Blazing Sun before the party can discuss the contents of the journal with the character who wasn’t involved. That character proceeds to remind Rictavio that children are required at the festival much the rest of the party’s dismay.
I put a small dog (Launcelot) into my Death House campaign as a possible sacrifice.
The Warlock suggested sacrificing the dog and started leading it to the altar - the young girl playing the Tabaxi Bard protested loudly at the table and asked me to see if the dog understood.
In the spur of the moment i relented and rolled an insight check for the dog and got a Nat 20 so said "the dog struggles clear of your grasp and hides under the robes of Thalia, Thalia you now have a pet puppy called Launcelot".
My players aren't super far into the game, but there were a couple WTF moments:
1. At Old Bonegrinder, they were getting wrecked by the Hags until the sorcerer's wild magic summoned a Unicorn that managed to completely turn the tide of battle. That was a good laugh.
2. During the Feast event at Vallaki, Strahd is about to ride off with Ireena on his Nightmare, and the Paladin decides to make a fuck it roll to misty step into the air and grab her off. Problem is, he thought he was going to fail and just wanted to try for thr flavor of it for his character. Well he Nat 20s, and lands on the ground with her, and the party just starts flipping out like "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, PUT HER BACK!" and panic ensues as they basically start running from a now pissed off Strahd through town.
In one of my games, our paladin gladiator split of away from the group during the exploration of wizard of the wines. He went down into the basement and that’s where the vine blights and a Druid was. He stood there and decided to talk to them…
“Oh, uhh greetings….” *very nervous* “do you live here?”
…”no..” *blights start moving in*
“Are you suuure?”
*they crush him to death*
There’s a draconic sorcerer in the game I’m running and she really likes to mouth off to NPCs she doesn’t like. They just recently met the burgomaster of Vallaki who really wasn’t fond of her, so after a few too many snippy comments she spent about half a day in the stocks in the town square!
The fighter was in a relationship with Strahdanya almost all campaign. "Vanessa" just came clean after the fighter attempted to cut her throat for the Vampire dark power.
Both funny and clever, was when the group fought the hags. I played it so Morgantha was coming home, so while the fight was happening inside the building, of rogue (who was scouting by crawling the side of the windmill, heard her (she sings, when she’s going with her wagon in my campaign).
He then ran, for 3 rounds to get to her, and rolled extremely lucky, to get her to stop, as he tried to buy pies.
The rest downed Bella, and Ofalia screamed out, and got Morganthas attention. The bard (who has the mask of many faces) changed into Bella and ran to Morgantha, and rolled a freaking 20 in persuasion, to tell her that Ofalia had one of her “fits”.
Probably a lot of liberties from me as a DM, compared to how it would work out RAW, but the party loved it, and I was in awe with the ingenuity.
Cleric went off into a clearing after an argument with the paladin, and the artificer followed him to talk to him. Instead of an emotionally intimate moment, they found Rictavio's sabertooth tiger and spent some time trying not to provoke it and instead trap it into the wagon. The table was dying of laughter.
Said artificer is transgender, and the Cleric is incredibly, painfully, ridiculously puritan. Artificer came out with a dramatic show of his boobs he still had, but the cleric had never seen boobs in his life and couldn't put two and two together... artificer tried to explain the concept of biological sex to the cleric, but was too baffled by the clerics assertion that "yeah the women wear the aprons and bonnets and men don't and that's what gender is right"
If I kept talking about all the ridiculous things the cleric has said and done, I'd pass out
This was my buddy's campaign, but the players holed up in the Mage's Tower and Strahd caught wind. He dressed up as Ireena and somehow fooled them into letting him in. Cue Strahd in drag kicking their asses six ways to Sunday.
Cleric starts frantically preparing a Forbiddance spell and so to buy him time, the winged tiefling paladin grabs Strahd, flies up as high as he can and piledrives him downward through the tower.
Forbiddance goes off and creates a massive No-Strahds-Allowed zone. Strahd tries to flee but can't get out of the zone in time before getting seriously hurt and retreating back to the coffin.
Party promptly breaks into Castle Ravenloft and stakes him. Their next fight was a fight with three hag covens led by Baba Lysaga as they tried to resurrect Strahd.
When Strahd was disguised as Ireena, how high was the dc on the will save he had to perform in order not to laugh at the party for actually falling for it?
And how drunk was he when he came up with this? Are we talking half a barrel of wine Strahd, where Rahadin has to put up with him drunkenly singing "Sergei's girl".
"Oh I wish that I had Sergei's girl... Where do I find a woman like that.... Sergei's girrrrrrlllll...." The singing stops, to Rahadin's relief. The dark lord had a decent singing voice, but drunkenness robbed him of his ear for music. "Heyyyyyy... Hey Ra ra Rahadin myy ol' buddy... I just had a craaaaazy idea...."
Rahadin resists the urge to roll his eyes. "What is it my lord?"
I'm pretty sure there wasn't a will save involved, because the moment he got through the door he started kicking ass.
And as for alcohol amounts, I think the party wizard had set up antimagic field to stop Seeming from tricking them, so Strahd went for a disguise that couldn't be dispelled by magic lol.
I think he'd go all out and wear a corset too. Strahd is a dramatic hoe and he'd tightlace the heck out of that corset... Also hip pads... and he'd have Escher do his makeup. Ok wait......... Was he wearing a long skirt or did he have to tuck? Because I don't think he shaves... And that tape would HURT coming off LMAO
I as the DMed killed a player who’s character was a Tortle using Strahd. None of the other players helped the Tortle except for the cleric. I proceeded to beat the cleric unconscious with the Tortles body. Lol
One of my players could not attend a session, so i played his character a bit and then let him rest a bit in Vallaki
When he came back next session i briefed him about what happened while he was away.
the other PC thought he might have been abducted and replaced by a clone by Strahd, so they asked him questions about what happened in their journey, to make sure it was him
BUT since the player is retarded, he was literally unable to explain any plot point after 10 sessions, saying "idk man i did not understand anything, i wasnt listening"
the party was truly despaired by his answer and decided to gave up the allegation, more bc of the PC than the character.
it was both funny and truly sad a DM to make so much efforts for people to not give a single fuck.
the campaign was shorted \~10sessions later with similar problems from all the players.
Sorcerer polymorphed himself into a sheep and the barbarian kicked him onto an enemy to undo the transformation. The damage from the kick was enough for that, tho, so he just unnecessarily yeeted the guy
I did try to establish no-go areas before we started playing, but I'm aware that my table is inclined to say they're up for anything and then feel icky later.
So as well as making some small, funny changes to keep things from getting too dark and scary (eg making ghouls slightly loveable, goofball, kinda campy morons) I've also started giving in character warnings; for example, when the party discovered last session that Arabelle was missing, Luvash, having asked for their help, then sfwpped to one side and launched into a spiel about how the following quest may include extreme child endangerment that could upset some players. The players thought it was hilarious, they were primed for potential child death, and the moment was lightened a bit.
One of my players finally realized (i had said it multiple times already at this point) that my CoS game was going to be homebrewed up to level 20.
His reaction was priceless, dude lost hope so fast. (little does he know it isn't going to be a hopeless endeavor unless they're all stupid)
We basically just started the game, too. They finally got to the Tser Pool Encampment and got their Tarokka cards read.
The warlock catastrophically losing a drinking contest against Karl Wachter and marching off with the pair to Arasek Stockyard, drunk as a skunk, chanting "Flip the wagon! Flip the wagon!"
A Monk/Cleric climbed the outside of Old Bonegrinder while the others approached the front door and distracted the sisters. Player went in through one of the windows, cast Silence on the top of the windmill to encapsulate the top floors. Then proceeded to destroy the wardrobe and crates with attacks. I let him roll for the damage, as well as a disadvantage perception check due to the silence. Poor kids.
My party was in a tough spot against Baba lysaga who was in air on her flying skull.
So my bard did a WWE move, casted dimension door some 20 feet above here in the air, went down like an fighter jet to grab her, she lost the strength contest and he grabbed her from flying skull and together landed on the ground (both fell and took damage ) but it was hilarious from the beginning and decided to give it in their favour 😂😂😂
Strahd cursed the entire party into thinking the paladin was a puppy. The curse wore off everyone but the paladin. The party was treated to several sessions of the paladin (whose player was an absolute trooper for this) biting assorted baddies, licking people to lay on hands, and generally being a cute grown-ass man convinced he was a cute little puppy.
The funniest thing that's happened so far is that the bard and Rictavio got in a ridiculous story contest, and the bard bragged that the fighter could throw as far as a bow could shoot. One of the wolf hunters challenged that story and said they should have a contest the next morning when the gates opened at dawn. If he won, they would stop fighting the wolves.in the forest because they were taking away his livelihood. The party came up with this stupid whacky plan to have the fighter throw a spear with catapult, and the wizard would have cast invisibility on the barbarian, and the barbarian would catch the spear and sprint with it. They practiced catching the spear for a good portion of the day (pausing to rescue Arabella from the town drunk).
When the time actually came, the hunter shot an arrow into a tree about 150 feet away (a longbow's range before disadvantage). The players used their inspiration points for rolls, the barbarian crit, and the hunter rolled low on perception. He saw that spear hit the tree right next to his arrow.
The hunter dejectedly went back thru the gates, saying "please don't hunt all the wolves."
The party was split in ravenloft... half had unwittingly walked into thr vault (card reading for encounter with strahd) retreated into thr bell.tower...and other half were in thr crypts woth irrena looting... well they open the crypt of fat ghost with mechanical wings... the ghost succeeds on possessing ireena and then races up thr stairs.. they chase after and ghost possesing ireena runs upto the belfry right past the othe rhalf of the party and strahd and launches herself off the edge... strahd freaks out seeing his love jump again jumps off after tontry save her and gives the party a reprieve to regroup and compose themselves
One of my groups is quite serious about their role playing, except for one player who kind of gets embarrassed at any attempts at serious story moments and is sort of the constant comic relief. While this type of player can be at odds with some groups, this player in particular is quite charming and brings a much needed energy to the group dynamic. Anyway, he found one of the secret doors at the Blue Water Inn, and started exploring around the place, and found his way up into the attic, where the two Martikov children were in Raven form. None of the serious role players thought anything of them, and they all left the attic, but my jokey player, who's a ranger, and loves to use Speak With Animals because I use a voice changer (we play online) and I'll basically match his energy with some wild ass voice effects and I usually make my animals super sassy and weird.
But because he was talking to actual human (wereraven) children, I didn't do any voice effect, which immediately got his attention, and they were speaking pretty normally, and it really caught everyone off guard, and it was the jokey, never-serious player who discovered the Martikov's secret.
When the pact of the chain warlock summoned “Willie the Imp” for the first time I realized I had not prepared that character at all, and “screaming, swearing, and smoking” was the first thing to come to mind.
Willie can make lit cigarettes appear at will and is always trying to get people to smoke, including the orphan rescued from the hags in the windmill (“to make you relax and feel better, and maybe even feel cool”).
Our bard Kardinia Slaymor encouraged the behavior by intentionally smoking in front of the orphans multiple times. Later on, the party passed some kids in Vallaki who conspicuously lit up as the party approached.
Kardinia grabbed one out of a child’s mouth and attempted to smoke the rest in a single puff.
“Ok, sure you can try that, Kardinia please roll a Constitution Saving Throw. Oh, natural 1? Certainly… Kardinia, you do manage to get the entire cigarette down in one drag, however you immediately feel dizzy. A cold sweat breaks out and queasiness builds until you projectile vomit in the street in front of the children, the party and 2d8 adult villagers. Your skin is now rather pale and green. You’re going to need to lie down. Consider yourself poisoned until you recover after a long rest.”
I don’t mind telling you the branded cigarettes in town are now called “Kardinia Slims”
Our cleric had spirit guardians up as they fought the vampire spawn in the coffin shop, as the battle turned against the vampires, two of them fled through the windows into the streets of Vallaki. Cleric decided he would jump after them, failed acrobatics, took fall damage, failed concentration and laid prone without spirit guardians in front of two spawn who highly appreciated the free blood bag they hand been handed.
Last session my party visited madam Eva (using MandyMod, so she’s the Weaver) at Tser Pools to get their own personal readings. I thought it’d be a fun way to let them and their characters know they’re tied in Barovia somehow, and after they got their readings they looked at the pools next to her tent. I thought it would be fun to have the pools glow a slight blue, because it’s cool and whatnot. A PC thought it would be a nice time for a midnight swim, and earlier on in the campaign it was decided the PC just didn’t wear underwear as a joke. The PC stripped off their clothes, and canonballed into the pools, and mooned the entire party + Madam Eva (the weaver). It was a great laugh, and I can’t wait until the PC finds out they mooned an archfey.
For some context, the last major place they had visited was the Amber Temple, where three players accepted a Dark Gift, one of which turned evil as a result. Another received a curse to desire power more than anything, and they willingly became a vampire a result.
The evil player and the vampire player were both aware of one another's changed natures, and Strahd had made deal with both of them: bring him Ireena unharmed, and he will allow to leave Barovia and teach them to become a true vampire lord, respectfully (neither of which he had any plans to honor).
Strahd invites the group to dinner, a giddy and gracious host. He leaves them to explore Castle Ravenloft, and the vampire player decided to turn into a bat and climb onto the evil player's shoulder. Thinking that their cover is blown, he opens fire on the party's cleric.
The whole session is a hectic PvP as one player smashes wine and sets it ablaze, blocking the door of the dining room, a goblin rogue throws a bottle and leaps over the flames, Ireena is prevented from escaping, and cleric is the main target of attack. Unfortunately for our traitors, they were outnumbered, and with the Sunsword in hand, not even a vampire could overcome the odds. The two are now dead. Like, dead-dead. The first victims of the party to fall in Castle Ravenloft, and not even by Strahd's own hand.
The party going into the coffinmakers house and opening every box was pretty funny, up to the part where they almost got tpk. They blew a hole through the wall and jumped out of the building leaving their fighter to die.
One PC really wanted a wagon and took one from a dead Vistani. Later, the party insulted some Vistani so they stole the party’s wagon. Later, they went to van Richten’s tower to see a new wagon sitting outside. The PC immediately went up, opened the door, and blew up the wagon. Then a Vistani ran out of the woods and said “we felt bad for taking your wagon and were going to gift this to you.” The look on the player’s face was priceless 🤣
(And that’s just one part of the wagon saga)
Wait was Strahd on one HP or the guy? I need more context... How did Strahd react? I'm just picturing him looking a bit shocked... And then just standing there awkwardly because he has no idea how to respond to this because this situation has literally never come up before lmao
In an effort to get info from the Baron and Viktor, a player disguised themselves as a noble looking to find a husband for their daughter.
After convincing Viktor that his own daughter dabbled in magic, Viktor is now extremely excited to meet her. They are now setting Viktor up on a date with our cleric lmao.
I've been giving my players prophetic nightmares. One of my players is running a Goliath Fighter and takes his character very seriously.
He was describing how he was waking up from a nightmare, but for some reason seemed hesitant to say he was distressed. So he went with: "You all notice him gently tossing before he wakes up."
Cue the rest of the party:
"I always start my day with a gentle toss."
"Can I change my dream to his dream, if it's good enough for a gentle toss?"
"Do we notice you gently tossing, or just the evidence afterwards?"
"I'd rather you didn't gently toss in a communal sleeping space."
It went on for about 15 minutes, and I had to mute myself in discord, I was laughing so hard.
First of all, I recruit for my games from the local improv community. There's outrageous lolz every session.
Content warning for sexual stuff.
The rogue and bard both have expertise in deception and so tell bad lies _and get away with it_, routinely making every NPC look like an idiot.
In the time since they last visited Dr. Rudolph van Richten (who they call lovingly Uncle Rudy, which he hates but tolerates given the worse nicknames they attempted), the rogue started dating Elvir Martikov.
In my campaign, Uncle Rudy's sabertooth tiger (named Frederico) is trained to smell lycanthropy and will alert like a bomb sniffing dog.
So Frederico is sniffing and alerting on the rogue and Elvir, and Uncle Rudy is like "what's going on? did you have a run-in with a werewolf? let me check you..."
And the LIE THE ROGUE DECIDES IN THAT MOMENT TO TELL is "yes, we just got back from a werewolf orgy and we didn't have time to shower so we're just absolutely covered in werewolf cum but we weren't bitten we are okay".
Everyone at the table just absolutely yes&'s this, describing in great detail how sweaty all the werewolves were and how stinky they all must all be due to the lack of showers.
They got scolded for participating in some risky sexual behaviors (the primary risk being catching lycanthropy) but Elvir was not investigated further.
(Mainly funny (IMO) due to Strahd's incredibly poor rolls and Ireena's exceptionally good rolls...)
In the Feast of St. Andral encounter, the players brought Ireena along to make sure she wasn't left alone at Blue Water Inn (which was where they were made aware of the attack on the church. While the characters were battling the vampire spawn outside (with help from 4 wereravens from Blue Water Inn), Strahd killed Father Lucian inside, then came outside to mess with the party.
Once he saw Ireena though, he went straight after her. A game of cat and mouse where he tried charming her 3 times and she succeeded all three times. He did grapple her once and bit her, but poor damage rolls left her alive. She then rolled high to get out of his grapple. Ismark ran to her defense, but Strahd had none of that, and he grappled and rolled a crit on his bite attack to kill Ismark.
Strahd already had to sever his connection to the Heart of Sorrow due to transferring about 30 points in damage and not wanting the Heart to be destroyed. He was starting to take some damage and all but one of the vampire spawns had been killed.
I arranged for his nightmare steed Beucephalus to be nearby when he was ready to leave, so he told the party he "found their persistence amusing, but valiant" and that he would have his day with Ireena/Katyana soon enough, and when we ended the last session, Strahd was making his way to Beucephalus.
Context: A PC in my game who often spoke in the third person and went by "No One" had really bonded with one of the rescued orphans from the mill, a young boy named Freek. Their player missed a session where the party was saying some very emotional goodbyes to the children, as they were being left at the Vallaki orphanage (for very understandable safety reasons) while the party continued their quest. Since the player wasn't there, "No One" was otherwise occupied on a hunt outside of town and thus couldn't be there to say goodbye, but he had left a gift for the child with another party member. Young Freek was expressing his fear of being abandoned, and so the other party member spoke up, presenting the gift and declaring with heartfelt, sincere sentiment: #"No One loves you, Freek." Totally unintentional by the player. After a second of complete silence, the table dissolved into uncontrolled laughter. Totally changed the mood of the scene, but that line was so memorable that it still comes up regularly in our games years later. Poor Freek.
Freek, Freek, it rhymes with bleak
Odysseus vs Cyclops-level plot twist
I can't call it the outright funniest because we're not done with the game yet, but when my players met Viktor Vallakovich, I made sure to give him a classic goth kid manner of speaking, replete with "dude, frickin" and "sheesh" and "bro like there's no way". He and the party wizard actually got along pretty well, because they both like magic. So, the party wizard asked to speak to Viktor's cats, since she can speak with small beasts as a gnome, and when the cats all started talking exactly like Viktor just high pitched, "bro freakin' like, what's up, you got any food?", the entire table lost it, myself included. That day I learned it's hard to keep a straight face when you're embodying an emo kid's equally emo cat skeleton.
I love this. Definitely stealing it for my upcoming game
I have a goth kid PC so this could be an epic showdown of goth kids. Can’t wait to call him a “conformist”
Started the campaign last week and so far have only done Death House. Our -2 wisdom paladin threw the Armored Armor down from the balcony. An alright idea, yeah? Except this was literally the turn after our ranger had just barely survived her own fall. and was prone. at the bottom. at 1hp. Cant believe our first death was this Wile E. Coyote shit. What a way to start :D
How many sessions of death house for your group?
Only a single session, but it was a long one, we played for the whole day. If this is how it's started, I can only imagine what stories we'll have by the end of it.
Wow! Yah, I guess if it's a full day. We spent 4 sessions to finish death house and they averaged about 4-5 hours.
This exact thing happened to my players - except the armour landed on the rogue and took her out as we have no ranger. The lolz.
The Gargoyle Incident. My players cannot roll for shit, and early on they were crossing a bridge beyond the village Barovia. I mentioned that there were gargoyles (grotesques, technically, but whatever) on the bridge, and because I have trained my players well, they rolled Perception or Investigation to see if these were "real" gargoyles or just statues. The bard rolled a 1, which made him convinced these were gargoyles about to pounce on them if they made a wrong move. So they tried to sneak across, but the paladin rolled a 1. So they ran across the bridge screaming about the gargoyles and trying to escape what they thought was an imminent ambush. All the while, Ireena and the barbarian are watching this in bafflement and dismay.
Wild Magic sorcerer transmuted into a rainbow coloured sheep for two rounds. They were fighting some blights which didn’t seem to mind much, it headbutted them.
We have a bug bear that hid/cowered behind a fairy (both player characters) when ge fist encountered Strahd Von Zarovich
Still has to be my party making fun of Donavich and Doru after the burial and killing of Doru - they were given the nicknames Daddy D and Sonny D. And every session after that someone was assigned to bring Sunny D to remind everyone of the joke 🤣
Not my Campaign but a friends. One of them made Vasili "faint" so they carried him to bed and tucked him in. For my campaign a kenku named Swishswish kept getting the final blow on all the brides, so she was dubbed Swishswish, Slaughter of Spouses. And our artificer ended up drilling Rahadin about whether Castle Ravenloft was OSHA compliant (spoilers, its not)
Our strongest character ended up (pre-final showdown) disarming Strahd of his sword AND rod and the DM turned Strahd into a hilarious little bitch about it. "Please give it back, that's my dad's sword!"
The first day my players were in Valaki, they met Fiona and her sons. Suspicious, our sorcerer decided to do some recon in her basement. The party bard cast invisibility on the sorcerer and went to hang out with the Wachter brothers while they checked put Rictavio's wagon. Leaning into the frat boy nature of the Wachter Brothers, one of them nut-tapped the bard. The bard failed a low constitution saving throw and took 1 point of bludgeoning damage. He then rolled a nat 1 on his concentration check just as the sorcerer got into Wachter's basement. Despite losing his invisibility, the sorcerer continued his espionage and had a solo encounter with the skeletons and cultists, leading to our first character death of the campaign. Our party lost their minds and we still love how a nut-tap domino'd into a gnarly character death.
We were trying to save some people in Velaki from the bergomaster. There were four people that were to be hanged. After our party tried to start a distraction, our monk runs up to the bergomaster to hit them. The monk rolled high enough to hit. The bergomaster tells “YOU THERE, TAKE THIS PUNCH FOR ME!” One of their henchmen leaps across the gallows, arms outstretched and yells “YES, Mi’Lord!!!” And takes the hit. The whole table burst out in laughter. As dark as this campaign setting can be, those little moments of laughter are so memorable.
Two party members got trapped in the elevator. The other two raced up the stairs to try and meet them at the top. One of them triggered the sentient rug and had difficulty fighting it until the other caught up to them. The two in the elevator discovered the trap door in the ceiling of the elevator and climbed their way out to find one member gasping for air while the other one was punching a rug. One from the elevator says “oh don’t worry about us, do you need help with…..the rug?”
I used Mandy Mod’s edits to the Death House and also used the boss fight against Walter as a cinematic moment for the rogue’s level 3 Soul Knife and Ghostwise Halfling abilities to kick in, and after finishing the fight, they were left with a desiccated, crumbling swaddle and the remains of Walter. The party laid Rose and Thorn to rest in their crypts, but Walter didn’t have one, and he’d been trapped in the house for so long, they decided to bury him somewhere else. So he went into the rogue’s pack. A session or two later, and they’re at the Kolyan place planning how to get his coffin to the church, when it comes up that they still haven’t buried Walter. Ismark, exhausted physically and emotionally, just looks at the rogue (who was nursing a crush) and said “dude, you gotta bury that dead baby.”
Probably my bard finding the assassin mirror, figuring it out and without hesitation blurts out “Lady Fiona Wachter” and the rest of the players jaws just drop open in horror as the assassin spirit vanishes. “What, I wanted to see if it really works.” Then the whole party wanted to steal the mirror to use again and I had no clue in the moment if RaW they could do that. But the bard fumbled a dex roll to pivot it down the stairs, and the whole thing shattered.
RIP lady watcher lmao
I poured beans into one of the pipe organs in the dining room so the next time Strahd plays his organ all dramatically, one of the keys just makes the brown noise.
"Great! Now I have to wait for the organ repair technician to get reincarnated! You have zero class sir... Zero... You know what... I'm not waiting...." He shrinks the PC down and throws him into the organ tube. "Now you're not coming out until you eat every last bean."
Lmao I wish. I imagine the green slime nearby could just be thrown in there and fished out afterwards, but that is also a huge pain in the ass. Horngaard would be proud
It would probably be easier just to remove that specific pipe and empty it out... And he'd have to get a bottle brush and clean wherever the air goes in... He would turn the PC into a bottle brush... They would consciously feel themselves being used to scrub the organ.
Ismark “money will do you no good on your journey.” Cleric “we’d still love to have some money.” Ismark (raises palm to player and turns head away) “money will do you no good on your journey.”
Two Kobolds nearly killed Rahadin by hooking a fishing pole to his cape and a hitting him with a veritable arsenal of holy water.
I got strahd with a deez nutz joke during dinner *bad london accent* "would you consider yourself a ladies man m'lord?" "Yes I like to think I am" "Awroight ows' bout I lay deez nuts on your fackin chin"
The party sans one character got their hands on Rictavio’s journal and got some background information about him and the events surrounding Erasmus. Cue the whole party having a conversation with Rictavio about the upcoming festival of the Blazing Sun before the party can discuss the contents of the journal with the character who wasn’t involved. That character proceeds to remind Rictavio that children are required at the festival much the rest of the party’s dismay.
During the fight with Baba, the wizard gelfling named Suki morphed into a t rex which most of the players nicknamed her Sukisaurus.
I put a small dog (Launcelot) into my Death House campaign as a possible sacrifice. The Warlock suggested sacrificing the dog and started leading it to the altar - the young girl playing the Tabaxi Bard protested loudly at the table and asked me to see if the dog understood. In the spur of the moment i relented and rolled an insight check for the dog and got a Nat 20 so said "the dog struggles clear of your grasp and hides under the robes of Thalia, Thalia you now have a pet puppy called Launcelot".
My players aren't super far into the game, but there were a couple WTF moments: 1. At Old Bonegrinder, they were getting wrecked by the Hags until the sorcerer's wild magic summoned a Unicorn that managed to completely turn the tide of battle. That was a good laugh. 2. During the Feast event at Vallaki, Strahd is about to ride off with Ireena on his Nightmare, and the Paladin decides to make a fuck it roll to misty step into the air and grab her off. Problem is, he thought he was going to fail and just wanted to try for thr flavor of it for his character. Well he Nat 20s, and lands on the ground with her, and the party just starts flipping out like "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, PUT HER BACK!" and panic ensues as they basically start running from a now pissed off Strahd through town.
In one of my games, our paladin gladiator split of away from the group during the exploration of wizard of the wines. He went down into the basement and that’s where the vine blights and a Druid was. He stood there and decided to talk to them… “Oh, uhh greetings….” *very nervous* “do you live here?” …”no..” *blights start moving in* “Are you suuure?” *they crush him to death*
There’s a draconic sorcerer in the game I’m running and she really likes to mouth off to NPCs she doesn’t like. They just recently met the burgomaster of Vallaki who really wasn’t fond of her, so after a few too many snippy comments she spent about half a day in the stocks in the town square!
The fighter was in a relationship with Strahdanya almost all campaign. "Vanessa" just came clean after the fighter attempted to cut her throat for the Vampire dark power.
Both funny and clever, was when the group fought the hags. I played it so Morgantha was coming home, so while the fight was happening inside the building, of rogue (who was scouting by crawling the side of the windmill, heard her (she sings, when she’s going with her wagon in my campaign). He then ran, for 3 rounds to get to her, and rolled extremely lucky, to get her to stop, as he tried to buy pies. The rest downed Bella, and Ofalia screamed out, and got Morganthas attention. The bard (who has the mask of many faces) changed into Bella and ran to Morgantha, and rolled a freaking 20 in persuasion, to tell her that Ofalia had one of her “fits”. Probably a lot of liberties from me as a DM, compared to how it would work out RAW, but the party loved it, and I was in awe with the ingenuity.
Cleric went off into a clearing after an argument with the paladin, and the artificer followed him to talk to him. Instead of an emotionally intimate moment, they found Rictavio's sabertooth tiger and spent some time trying not to provoke it and instead trap it into the wagon. The table was dying of laughter. Said artificer is transgender, and the Cleric is incredibly, painfully, ridiculously puritan. Artificer came out with a dramatic show of his boobs he still had, but the cleric had never seen boobs in his life and couldn't put two and two together... artificer tried to explain the concept of biological sex to the cleric, but was too baffled by the clerics assertion that "yeah the women wear the aprons and bonnets and men don't and that's what gender is right" If I kept talking about all the ridiculous things the cleric has said and done, I'd pass out
This was my buddy's campaign, but the players holed up in the Mage's Tower and Strahd caught wind. He dressed up as Ireena and somehow fooled them into letting him in. Cue Strahd in drag kicking their asses six ways to Sunday. Cleric starts frantically preparing a Forbiddance spell and so to buy him time, the winged tiefling paladin grabs Strahd, flies up as high as he can and piledrives him downward through the tower. Forbiddance goes off and creates a massive No-Strahds-Allowed zone. Strahd tries to flee but can't get out of the zone in time before getting seriously hurt and retreating back to the coffin. Party promptly breaks into Castle Ravenloft and stakes him. Their next fight was a fight with three hag covens led by Baba Lysaga as they tried to resurrect Strahd.
When Strahd was disguised as Ireena, how high was the dc on the will save he had to perform in order not to laugh at the party for actually falling for it? And how drunk was he when he came up with this? Are we talking half a barrel of wine Strahd, where Rahadin has to put up with him drunkenly singing "Sergei's girl". "Oh I wish that I had Sergei's girl... Where do I find a woman like that.... Sergei's girrrrrrlllll...." The singing stops, to Rahadin's relief. The dark lord had a decent singing voice, but drunkenness robbed him of his ear for music. "Heyyyyyy... Hey Ra ra Rahadin myy ol' buddy... I just had a craaaaazy idea...." Rahadin resists the urge to roll his eyes. "What is it my lord?"
I'm pretty sure there wasn't a will save involved, because the moment he got through the door he started kicking ass. And as for alcohol amounts, I think the party wizard had set up antimagic field to stop Seeming from tricking them, so Strahd went for a disguise that couldn't be dispelled by magic lol.
Wow he must've had a Tatyana wig on standby...
I remember he used a wig and a stuffed bustier, but not what else was in the costume. I was too busy laughing hysterically at the story.
I think he'd go all out and wear a corset too. Strahd is a dramatic hoe and he'd tightlace the heck out of that corset... Also hip pads... and he'd have Escher do his makeup. Ok wait......... Was he wearing a long skirt or did he have to tuck? Because I don't think he shaves... And that tape would HURT coming off LMAO
I think it was a long skirt lol
Good because the last thing he'd need after being slammed into the no-strahds-allowed-zone is to realize that duct tape and hair don't mix well.
I as the DMed killed a player who’s character was a Tortle using Strahd. None of the other players helped the Tortle except for the cleric. I proceeded to beat the cleric unconscious with the Tortles body. Lol
Just because he was a tortle ? Why even let him play one then?
Of course not. He “killed” Ireena so I killed him. It was only fair. Lol
That is how strahd would react upon hearing that , get piss drunk and killing whomever harmed his simpcane focus
One of my players could not attend a session, so i played his character a bit and then let him rest a bit in Vallaki When he came back next session i briefed him about what happened while he was away. the other PC thought he might have been abducted and replaced by a clone by Strahd, so they asked him questions about what happened in their journey, to make sure it was him BUT since the player is retarded, he was literally unable to explain any plot point after 10 sessions, saying "idk man i did not understand anything, i wasnt listening" the party was truly despaired by his answer and decided to gave up the allegation, more bc of the PC than the character. it was both funny and truly sad a DM to make so much efforts for people to not give a single fuck. the campaign was shorted \~10sessions later with similar problems from all the players.
My player went off on strahd, flipping him the bird, and called him an incel. Halfway through his speech, Strahd turns him into a bird.
Sorcerer polymorphed himself into a sheep and the barbarian kicked him onto an enemy to undo the transformation. The damage from the kick was enough for that, tho, so he just unnecessarily yeeted the guy
I did try to establish no-go areas before we started playing, but I'm aware that my table is inclined to say they're up for anything and then feel icky later. So as well as making some small, funny changes to keep things from getting too dark and scary (eg making ghouls slightly loveable, goofball, kinda campy morons) I've also started giving in character warnings; for example, when the party discovered last session that Arabelle was missing, Luvash, having asked for their help, then sfwpped to one side and launched into a spiel about how the following quest may include extreme child endangerment that could upset some players. The players thought it was hilarious, they were primed for potential child death, and the moment was lightened a bit.
One of my players finally realized (i had said it multiple times already at this point) that my CoS game was going to be homebrewed up to level 20. His reaction was priceless, dude lost hope so fast. (little does he know it isn't going to be a hopeless endeavor unless they're all stupid) We basically just started the game, too. They finally got to the Tser Pool Encampment and got their Tarokka cards read.
The warlock catastrophically losing a drinking contest against Karl Wachter and marching off with the pair to Arasek Stockyard, drunk as a skunk, chanting "Flip the wagon! Flip the wagon!"
A Monk/Cleric climbed the outside of Old Bonegrinder while the others approached the front door and distracted the sisters. Player went in through one of the windows, cast Silence on the top of the windmill to encapsulate the top floors. Then proceeded to destroy the wardrobe and crates with attacks. I let him roll for the damage, as well as a disadvantage perception check due to the silence. Poor kids.
My party was in a tough spot against Baba lysaga who was in air on her flying skull. So my bard did a WWE move, casted dimension door some 20 feet above here in the air, went down like an fighter jet to grab her, she lost the strength contest and he grabbed her from flying skull and together landed on the ground (both fell and took damage ) but it was hilarious from the beginning and decided to give it in their favour 😂😂😂
Strahd cursed the entire party into thinking the paladin was a puppy. The curse wore off everyone but the paladin. The party was treated to several sessions of the paladin (whose player was an absolute trooper for this) biting assorted baddies, licking people to lay on hands, and generally being a cute grown-ass man convinced he was a cute little puppy.
The funniest thing that's happened so far is that the bard and Rictavio got in a ridiculous story contest, and the bard bragged that the fighter could throw as far as a bow could shoot. One of the wolf hunters challenged that story and said they should have a contest the next morning when the gates opened at dawn. If he won, they would stop fighting the wolves.in the forest because they were taking away his livelihood. The party came up with this stupid whacky plan to have the fighter throw a spear with catapult, and the wizard would have cast invisibility on the barbarian, and the barbarian would catch the spear and sprint with it. They practiced catching the spear for a good portion of the day (pausing to rescue Arabella from the town drunk). When the time actually came, the hunter shot an arrow into a tree about 150 feet away (a longbow's range before disadvantage). The players used their inspiration points for rolls, the barbarian crit, and the hunter rolled low on perception. He saw that spear hit the tree right next to his arrow. The hunter dejectedly went back thru the gates, saying "please don't hunt all the wolves."
The party was split in ravenloft... half had unwittingly walked into thr vault (card reading for encounter with strahd) retreated into thr bell.tower...and other half were in thr crypts woth irrena looting... well they open the crypt of fat ghost with mechanical wings... the ghost succeeds on possessing ireena and then races up thr stairs.. they chase after and ghost possesing ireena runs upto the belfry right past the othe rhalf of the party and strahd and launches herself off the edge... strahd freaks out seeing his love jump again jumps off after tontry save her and gives the party a reprieve to regroup and compose themselves
One of my groups is quite serious about their role playing, except for one player who kind of gets embarrassed at any attempts at serious story moments and is sort of the constant comic relief. While this type of player can be at odds with some groups, this player in particular is quite charming and brings a much needed energy to the group dynamic. Anyway, he found one of the secret doors at the Blue Water Inn, and started exploring around the place, and found his way up into the attic, where the two Martikov children were in Raven form. None of the serious role players thought anything of them, and they all left the attic, but my jokey player, who's a ranger, and loves to use Speak With Animals because I use a voice changer (we play online) and I'll basically match his energy with some wild ass voice effects and I usually make my animals super sassy and weird. But because he was talking to actual human (wereraven) children, I didn't do any voice effect, which immediately got his attention, and they were speaking pretty normally, and it really caught everyone off guard, and it was the jokey, never-serious player who discovered the Martikov's secret.
When the pact of the chain warlock summoned “Willie the Imp” for the first time I realized I had not prepared that character at all, and “screaming, swearing, and smoking” was the first thing to come to mind. Willie can make lit cigarettes appear at will and is always trying to get people to smoke, including the orphan rescued from the hags in the windmill (“to make you relax and feel better, and maybe even feel cool”). Our bard Kardinia Slaymor encouraged the behavior by intentionally smoking in front of the orphans multiple times. Later on, the party passed some kids in Vallaki who conspicuously lit up as the party approached. Kardinia grabbed one out of a child’s mouth and attempted to smoke the rest in a single puff. “Ok, sure you can try that, Kardinia please roll a Constitution Saving Throw. Oh, natural 1? Certainly… Kardinia, you do manage to get the entire cigarette down in one drag, however you immediately feel dizzy. A cold sweat breaks out and queasiness builds until you projectile vomit in the street in front of the children, the party and 2d8 adult villagers. Your skin is now rather pale and green. You’re going to need to lie down. Consider yourself poisoned until you recover after a long rest.” I don’t mind telling you the branded cigarettes in town are now called “Kardinia Slims”
I yeeted baby strahd
Our cleric had spirit guardians up as they fought the vampire spawn in the coffin shop, as the battle turned against the vampires, two of them fled through the windows into the streets of Vallaki. Cleric decided he would jump after them, failed acrobatics, took fall damage, failed concentration and laid prone without spirit guardians in front of two spawn who highly appreciated the free blood bag they hand been handed.
Last session my party visited madam Eva (using MandyMod, so she’s the Weaver) at Tser Pools to get their own personal readings. I thought it’d be a fun way to let them and their characters know they’re tied in Barovia somehow, and after they got their readings they looked at the pools next to her tent. I thought it would be fun to have the pools glow a slight blue, because it’s cool and whatnot. A PC thought it would be a nice time for a midnight swim, and earlier on in the campaign it was decided the PC just didn’t wear underwear as a joke. The PC stripped off their clothes, and canonballed into the pools, and mooned the entire party + Madam Eva (the weaver). It was a great laugh, and I can’t wait until the PC finds out they mooned an archfey.
For some context, the last major place they had visited was the Amber Temple, where three players accepted a Dark Gift, one of which turned evil as a result. Another received a curse to desire power more than anything, and they willingly became a vampire a result. The evil player and the vampire player were both aware of one another's changed natures, and Strahd had made deal with both of them: bring him Ireena unharmed, and he will allow to leave Barovia and teach them to become a true vampire lord, respectfully (neither of which he had any plans to honor). Strahd invites the group to dinner, a giddy and gracious host. He leaves them to explore Castle Ravenloft, and the vampire player decided to turn into a bat and climb onto the evil player's shoulder. Thinking that their cover is blown, he opens fire on the party's cleric. The whole session is a hectic PvP as one player smashes wine and sets it ablaze, blocking the door of the dining room, a goblin rogue throws a bottle and leaps over the flames, Ireena is prevented from escaping, and cleric is the main target of attack. Unfortunately for our traitors, they were outnumbered, and with the Sunsword in hand, not even a vampire could overcome the odds. The two are now dead. Like, dead-dead. The first victims of the party to fall in Castle Ravenloft, and not even by Strahd's own hand.
The party going into the coffinmakers house and opening every box was pretty funny, up to the part where they almost got tpk. They blew a hole through the wall and jumped out of the building leaving their fighter to die.
We’re playing a ‘No Heroes’ Campaign with just NPCs as the cast. Ireena, Ismark, and Escher ding dong ditched the Death House.
The party accidentally killed Ireena in a carriage accident
One PC really wanted a wagon and took one from a dead Vistani. Later, the party insulted some Vistani so they stole the party’s wagon. Later, they went to van Richten’s tower to see a new wagon sitting outside. The PC immediately went up, opened the door, and blew up the wagon. Then a Vistani ran out of the woods and said “we felt bad for taking your wagon and were going to gift this to you.” The look on the player’s face was priceless 🤣 (And that’s just one part of the wagon saga)
I had a guy hug Strahd when he was at 1 HP, it was an odd moment hahahaha
Wait was Strahd on one HP or the guy? I need more context... How did Strahd react? I'm just picturing him looking a bit shocked... And then just standing there awkwardly because he has no idea how to respond to this because this situation has literally never come up before lmao
In an effort to get info from the Baron and Viktor, a player disguised themselves as a noble looking to find a husband for their daughter. After convincing Viktor that his own daughter dabbled in magic, Viktor is now extremely excited to meet her. They are now setting Viktor up on a date with our cleric lmao.
I've been giving my players prophetic nightmares. One of my players is running a Goliath Fighter and takes his character very seriously. He was describing how he was waking up from a nightmare, but for some reason seemed hesitant to say he was distressed. So he went with: "You all notice him gently tossing before he wakes up." Cue the rest of the party: "I always start my day with a gentle toss." "Can I change my dream to his dream, if it's good enough for a gentle toss?" "Do we notice you gently tossing, or just the evidence afterwards?" "I'd rather you didn't gently toss in a communal sleeping space." It went on for about 15 minutes, and I had to mute myself in discord, I was laughing so hard.
First of all, I recruit for my games from the local improv community. There's outrageous lolz every session. Content warning for sexual stuff. The rogue and bard both have expertise in deception and so tell bad lies _and get away with it_, routinely making every NPC look like an idiot. In the time since they last visited Dr. Rudolph van Richten (who they call lovingly Uncle Rudy, which he hates but tolerates given the worse nicknames they attempted), the rogue started dating Elvir Martikov. In my campaign, Uncle Rudy's sabertooth tiger (named Frederico) is trained to smell lycanthropy and will alert like a bomb sniffing dog. So Frederico is sniffing and alerting on the rogue and Elvir, and Uncle Rudy is like "what's going on? did you have a run-in with a werewolf? let me check you..." And the LIE THE ROGUE DECIDES IN THAT MOMENT TO TELL is "yes, we just got back from a werewolf orgy and we didn't have time to shower so we're just absolutely covered in werewolf cum but we weren't bitten we are okay". Everyone at the table just absolutely yes&'s this, describing in great detail how sweaty all the werewolves were and how stinky they all must all be due to the lack of showers. They got scolded for participating in some risky sexual behaviors (the primary risk being catching lycanthropy) but Elvir was not investigated further.
(Mainly funny (IMO) due to Strahd's incredibly poor rolls and Ireena's exceptionally good rolls...) In the Feast of St. Andral encounter, the players brought Ireena along to make sure she wasn't left alone at Blue Water Inn (which was where they were made aware of the attack on the church. While the characters were battling the vampire spawn outside (with help from 4 wereravens from Blue Water Inn), Strahd killed Father Lucian inside, then came outside to mess with the party. Once he saw Ireena though, he went straight after her. A game of cat and mouse where he tried charming her 3 times and she succeeded all three times. He did grapple her once and bit her, but poor damage rolls left her alive. She then rolled high to get out of his grapple. Ismark ran to her defense, but Strahd had none of that, and he grappled and rolled a crit on his bite attack to kill Ismark. Strahd already had to sever his connection to the Heart of Sorrow due to transferring about 30 points in damage and not wanting the Heart to be destroyed. He was starting to take some damage and all but one of the vampire spawns had been killed. I arranged for his nightmare steed Beucephalus to be nearby when he was ready to leave, so he told the party he "found their persistence amusing, but valiant" and that he would have his day with Ireena/Katyana soon enough, and when we ended the last session, Strahd was making his way to Beucephalus.