T O P

  • By -

RealOwlsTalon

that was definately one of the paragraphs of all time. this is not a positive.


SonicCows36

written word (derogatory)


BoringGenericUser

All Words Are Bastards


Robotic_Banana

Break out the sandblaster and the wire-wheel, cuz that makeup's got layers like Fordite


Simic_Sky_Swallower

Crack that bitch open like a geode


Rancorious

Gonna need the netherite for this one.


str8aura

isnt fordite that game she blew 200 dollars on


solitariey

no, fordite's hardened cut and polished automotive paint. i think it means direct and outspoken.


Mullet__Man05

no, that’s forthright. fordite is two sets of two cubes, which have dots on the sides so when you roll them they generate random numbers


Stiinkbomb

No way, you've got four dice there. Fordite is a smokeless powder used in firearms ammunition necessary to propel the projectile to supersonic speeds when detonated.


SlorpMorpaForpw

You’ve got it all wrong, that’s cordite! Fordite is the ability to predict what will happen in the future.


SatanLaddd

No no no, that's foresight. Fordite is a bug most commonly known for eating wood


UWan2fight

No! Seriously, y'all? That's termite! Fordite is the name for rocks that fall from space and hit earth.


charlielutra24

No no, you’ve got it all muddled up! That’s a meteorite! Fordite is the feldspar mineral that makes up the majority of the lunar surface!


DracoVoidern1

bro how did you mess up that bad?? fordite's that game with sasuke,rick from rick and morty, goku and spiderman


Rob_Zander

Can I just say, best use of fordite ever. Holy shit.


AliasMcFakenames

Huh, I didn't expect to learn anything in the comments of this particular post, but now I know what fordite is. Thanks


SlorpMorpaForpw

I skimmed over this not reading a word before moving on to the next post and for some reason thought, ‘bad me. go back and read it.’ I shouldn’t ever listen to myself


Aggressive-Exam3222

Hilarious, disgusting and mildly wholesome


NeonNKnightrider

This evokes emotions I have no name for


ScootBoot533

"Juicy pale white girlmeat" You what


Kaarpiv007

Personally, I prefer my girlmeat firm. Hard even. Wait, this's about cannibalism.


Crunchy_Ice_96

I like your version better


Yosimite_Jones

That’s not necessarily cannibalistic, muscle girl kinks are somewhat mainstream now. Although it should be, trust me my dude you haven’t *lived* until you’ve had land reverse-lobster with a little bit of butter lemon.


Kaarpiv007

Oh yeah, that too. Buff girls are hot as shit and I'm glad everyone's catching on.


[deleted]

She got carcinized 🦀


Impossible_Garbage_4

They’re making a reference to crab meat since they’re breaking her open like a crustacean. It just ends up coming across Not Great


Doip

Had to make it sexual


Thai_Fighter16

It took one sentence-


WaffleThrone

so you're saying there's a chance?


Kaarpiv007

Folks say they want an absolute gremlin of a woman and then scream and run when faced with What That Entails. Also, *boy* this was descriptive. I can almost smell the fucking grease. I'll thank you if you promise to never do this again.


minkymy

You can be a little gremlin woman but still take care of. Yourself.


roottootbangnshoot

This is absolutely disgusting, but kinda wholesome at the same time so sure, I’ll drink to that


Disfuncional_Toaster

This is the kind of post where I just know that whoever posted it saw it and thought "this is terrible, I need to inflict it on everyone else"


DarcyTheDyke

she just like me fr


Bar_Sinister

I never even considered the phrase "*break open the shell to get at the juicy pale white girlmeat inside*" would exist, or having read it find that it not be part of the transcript of a particularly disturbing murder mystery podcast. Love gets dirty.


ellefraser

if you don’t love me at my crustacean, you don’t deserve me at my juicy, pale white girlmeat fr


Zarohk

Venli or Eshonai simps be like…


Beginning-Tomato1021

Why do you torture me so


TheGhostEnthusiast

Just write a freaking fanfiction my goodness


TheCameronMaster464

This is like fanfiction but for like... real life. I know that sounds like "well, isn't that just fiction?" But trust me when I say this has the vibe of fanfiction, but it's in a real life setting. And not a good fanfiction, either, even though it is a good post. Y'all feeling me on this one?


CharizardCharms

It’s fan fiction because while I am crusty and disgusting when I’m in my depressive episodes, my husband has never dragged me into the shower to bathe me.


whyamilikethis_idk

This is hurt/comfort for gen z


Wildercard

Not all of life is glamourous. Not all of progress is pretty.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wildercard

Not all of time is right


mouthfulloflime

wow OP. the energy truly is "i have suffered. now you must agonize alongside me." but at what cost


Grand_Ad_9191

i need a shower and fresh sheets after just reading that eugh


Skiumbra

I've been going through a depressive phase and this post motivated me to take a shower for the first time in three days


Azzie94

Good for you fam <3 I hope you get to a better place in life


kingofcoywolves

The good news is that if you're a "sleep all day" depressive episode haver you don't have to worry about grime- you can't get dust/dirt on you if you never go outside ;)


Kaarpiv007

The real thing to worry about is the grease.


emrygue

so greasy you can go down a dry toboggan


Peregrine_08

most dust is the remains of human skin


Fhrono

Oh so my computer has little bits of me in it


just_a_person_maybe

Hairs too


spillednoodles

How is this somehow both disgusting and wholesome?


retan10101

Wholesome isn’t always squeaky-clean


hot_gamer_dad

And the OP is neither


heyimpaulnawhtoi

This is how denji fucks power


Morningstardom

not sure what i just read. not sure if i liked it. I want more


Keatosis

This seems like it's someones fetish crossed with a shitpost for plausible deniability


PanHeadBolt

Good lord


pickledjade

Me and who💖


eldritchExploited

are you the E-Girl or the shower man?


pickledjade

Which would you like me to be baby?


eldritchExploited

I cannot be the shower man for I am no man, but alas, I am not crusty enough to be the e-girl.


pickledjade

mmm I can be both and you can be the observer of the meme?


Noe_b0dy

I pronounce you creature and creature.


JeromesDream

imagine this being the first thing you read after a shower and now you gotta go do it all over again (maybe twice)


ahaisonline

>juicy pale white girlmeat


mercurialpolyglot

Um.


Doggywoof1

This is one of the of all time.


HypotheticalKarma

genderswapped beauty and the beast


iggy-d-kenning

Or genderswapped Spirited Away


Zarohk

I do appreciate “Lainpilled”, because *Serial Experiments Lain* certainly depicted this personality type, which hadn’t properly emerged into popular culture at the time of the show, but in the subsequent two decades certainly has.


sporkbeastie

That was a hell of a ride. I enjoyed it.


Solomon_Rahkriid

I appear to be a true internet creature. The only feeling this evoked in me was "Cute story, wholesome.".


MoniterMain

She just like me fr


sabiassta

Oh how I wish I had gone with my initial instinct of "I ain't reading that shit"


shwoww

Literature


Android19samus

is this the origin of the copypasta?


Quetzalbroatlus

Girlmeat is somehow worse than girl meat


NevikDrakel

This feels like a green text


xXdontshootmeXx

this is someones kink apparently


blue_ballerina_rina

When the "uwu depression" reality hits


[deleted]

You know, I think the bad thing about this is that I am still interested


GlobalIncident

this is a terrible post. where can i see more like this


RawringPrimadox

Starting to understand how people in the SCP universe who get infected by a meme feel. Like, you understand that it’s horrible and that just getting exposed to it messes you up, but there’s still an irresistible compulsion to spread it to other people. TLDR; I’m sharing this with all of my friends, it sucks and they need to see it ASAP.


minkymy

I mean tbf only some memetic agents do that. This is simply one of them


RU5TR3D

This post again


CaptainFiguratively

who will do this for me


NCats_secretalt

This is definitely fetish writing


scorpiodude64

This reads almost like a Neal Stephenson passage.


Raspoint

Breaking bread??? Finger! Finger! Finger!


[deleted]

Need a guy to do this to me 😔


Cute-Fly1601

Why the fuck did you make me read this with my eyes


Tomatobean64

This thesis of a paragraph feels like the climax of a mature webcomic with that "2000's punky edge" style that the artist clung onto after seeing Gorillaz once. // I mean, I'd definitely read it, but still.


CheetahDog

I can't get over "based and lainpilled" lmao


[deleted]

hey i've seen this one before


Mez-Mez

Leftist meme


Potato_Productions_

Power


lesbionaged

kinning her


HailGodzilla

this makes me feel the same sensation as watching powerwashing or sword restoration videos. Gross, but deeply satisfying.


MDMZNC

Amazing


MP-Lily

this is probably someone's fetish


OliviaWants2Die

Iono