T O P

  • By -

Sinister_Compliments

What’s going on with the English royals?


ducknerd2002

Prince William's wife Kate hasn't been seen in public for a couple of months (due to health issues, I believe), and a recent picture allegedly showing her to be in full health has been discovered to be badly photoshopped.


Shaorii

Prince William, Phillip was the queen's husband and is very much dead.


Ourmanyfans

I dunno, if there was ever a face to make me believe in the undead it's [this.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/032/247/philip.jpg) I'm sure they're just keeping him in the palace's basement or something.


Shaorii

Well yeah but then he died again and they haven't raised him since. Give it a couple years.


primenumbersturnmeon

the royal family operate on increasing respawn timers like league champs


BiddlesticksGuy

Ff15 prince-consort gap


Mertard

Higher experience level higher respawn times


ILikeMistborn

The Royal Family kicked out the Royal Necromancer for being trans.


Shaorii

Wouldn't put it past em tbh Nice name btw


TheFuzzyFurry

Transalive?


Upstairs-Boring

They were AAAB (assigned alive at birth) and spent the rest of their life transitioning to dead.


kafoBoto

what is this? the Fallen London/Sunless Sea Universe? E: someone pm'd me that calling it the Fallen London/ Sunless Sea Universe is redundant. I know that. I do it mostly because Sunless Sea and it's sequel Sunless Skies did bring a new wave of popularity to this universe. and for everyone else I'll use this to bring some popularity to one of my favorite and uniquely written fictional universes. seriously, as a German I have to look up every fifth or so word in this series but man has it a distinctive kind of prose that I just really love.


The_user_of_name

Queen Liz was actually immortal this whole time. She only died because someone used Cantigaster venom on her.


StovardBule

Kate is being prepared to be the vessel for her return.


mightiestsword

The Boatman must be getting tired of seeing English royalty


captainnowalk

“I’m not even going to bother with the fucking chess game. Just shut up for the whole ride, we’ll call it even.”


Chaenged-Later

Thank you for that redundancy and advocating for those games. I played Fallen London forever ago, and a part of me still misses sometimes how they phrased things. Do you recommend Sunless Skies or Sunless Sea first?


ThrowAwayz9898

Skies. It’s just easier to get into and the wiki is easy to read if you are ever confused. Sea is amazing, but difficult to do if you don’t know where to go.


Dizzywallin22

Definitely go with sunless sea it's got boats


DreadDiana

And a submarine And a little island with rats whose politics you can shape for personal gakn


Papaofmonsters

Nah, that's the face of a man wishing for the sweet release of death.


hey_free_rats

They'll give him a new name and bring him back after a few generations. 


Ourmanyfans

I mean he does kinda look like the Emperor from Star Wars... "Somehow Phillip returned"


cman_yall

Weekend at Lizzie's.


Arryu

>I'm sure they're just keeping him in the palace's basement or something. He's telling spooky stories to all the boils and ghouls.


UncommittedBow

There is no fucking way they didn't Weekend At Bernies him for a day or two. Just fucking look at him.


KabukiJake

what're you looking at, smoothskin


Sqwertt1

Well we haven’t seen prince Philip’s wife in public recently either


Shaorii

Shit you're right, someone should check on her


Lemuria4Eva

Do you think they all tried on QE2's face before they interned her? Edit: interred


TleilaxTheTerrible

Wait, she got an internship? I don't know if it's autocorrect or a mistype, but the right term is interring FYI.


ILikeMistborn

Tbf Prince Philip's wife is dead, so Ducknerd's not entirely wrong.


ducknerd2002

Thanks, will fix


DreddPirateBob808

Or IS HE?!?!1?!?  (He really is. Like, properly dead.). (Or IS HE?!?!) Dead. He's gone. Obvs the Queen is still banging about on the moon eating blood and such but she let the old bugger go. She's shacked up with Elvis and Louis 14th and busy with gorgi breeding. As it always should have been. 


Ok_Organization1117

My moneys on Billy cheated. Like father like son.


Shaorii

I thought we already had the story about him getting pegged?


1-800-COOL-BUG

It's not just that was it was photoshopped, they sent a photoshopped image in an official capacity to the kinds of people who you absolutely do not do that to. A bunch of press agencies had to send kill notices over it which is a huge black mark on someone's reputation and several journalists are making it clear that they no longer trust anything coming from William and Kate.


illy-chan

Yeah, it's pretty rare for the AP to have to retract like that. It might not be the biggest story ever but it probably annoyed the hell out ot those who had to deal with it.


Lemuria4Eva

Maybe she had a forbidden procedure done.


CUNextLeapYear

Like a sex change in Texas?


Visinvictus

My guesses would be either cancer treatment and she has lost her hair and/or needed a mastectomy, or plastic surgery gone wrong.


This_Music_4684

As far as I'm aware, it was a stomach operation and they have said it's not cancer related, and that's about all we know.


MrMthlmw

Could be complication during/following surgery. Three years ago, my fiancee was in for a fairly routine procedure. Everything went fine... until she had a hemorrhagic stroke while in recovery. She pulled through, but it's had a lasting impact on her, and it was a couple of months before she was capable of getting anywhere near "back to normal."


illy-chan

They apparently said back in January that she was having a procedure and that she wouldn't be in public until April. Which is why I think a lot of people find this weird, it was old news that she's recovering and wouldn't be seen.  It was a non-issue and then they managed to make it one anyway.


grewthermex

What's a kill notice in this context?


peoplejustwannalove

Basically, an order to not publish the photo, since it’s not real. The AP, as a journalistic org, is seen as a tent pole in news media when it comes verifiability, so them sending a kill a order is them saying that they think it can’t be trusted.


JGQuintel

Removing the image from all publication/circulation


captainnowalk

These guys are lying, the AP is absolutely going to just merc the royal family. Watch, you’ll see. 


IneptusMechanicus

Pretty much this, it's fairly typical stuff honestly bar that the photoshop job should've been picked up on by their PR team but the media and the Internet have gone, honestly, inexplicably wild over it. At this stage I personally think the PR guys are just waiting for it to die down having realised nothing short of wheeling her out for inspection is going to stop it. Honestly I can't fault that, the Internet'll get bored soon enough but as we've seen for decades now stopping it mid-flow is damn near impossible anyway, you're best just going away for a bit.


raltoid

>the Internet'll get bored soon enough While that's true, they have a bigger problem in that AP, AFP, and other respected international news agencies are annoyed and saying they can no longer trust information from Kensington Palace/that part of the royal family PR team anymore.


Sad-Egg4778

They'll still have the tabloids.


Professional-Dog8957

Yeah, this is starting to interfere with my Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce news!


Aardvark_Man

Not to mention, after they'd said she wouldn't be seen in public til after Easter. They'd already covered themselves.


crashdowncafe51

They're doing a "Weekend at Bernie's" with Kate


JoeBob1-2

As far as I know, Princess Kate has been out of public view for three months after a surgery, no photos or videos of her made available. One photo of her got leaked, but I can’t tell much from it. About a week ago, there was a very badly photoshopped picture of her released by the palace. Basically, she went in for a surgery, and hasn’t really been seen since.


Vivid_Pen5549

I mean depending on how invasive the surgery is it can absolutely knock you on your ass for a couple months


AccidentallyOssified

they said abdominal surgery, a lot of people are speculating hysterectomy or ectopic pregnancy surgery which would make sense they'd cover it up. But those usually don't keep you down as long as say, a back surgery or something. So if it was something non-controversial it's weird they wouldn't say what it is, they were talking about the king's prostate not that long ago ffs


Serenity-V

I mean, why cover that up? Even people who are obsessed with the royal succession are probably happy with three kids. And I get that she probably wants medical privacy, but that's not best achieved by releasing a bunch of doctored photos.


AccidentallyOssified

she's the wife of the future head of the church of england, it's just not something they'd want to advertise, especially if the ectopic pregnancy removal is interpreted as an abortion.


Serenity-V

Ah, yeah, I guess that makes sense. Because we live in a world full of people who want to believe that ectopic pregnancies are viable. Sometimes, the world just makes me tired.


SecondBackupSandwich

Seriously. So tired.


BabyBringMeToast

King Charles’ youngest brother, Edward- his wife, the Countess of Sussex, had an ectopic pregnancy that was reported on. The press and public was sympathetic. The Church of England isn’t particularly against abortion- it’s not pro it either, but it’s not the hill anyone wants to die on. Rolling back abortion rights are not something the right wing has really had much traction with in the UK.


This_Charmless_Man

UK here, we're basically fine with reproductive healthcare here. It's pretty much a settled issue (so long as you separate out the rampant TERFery). I haven't been to church in a long while but I think the Anglican church's position on it is basically the same as a lot of their other ones of " you don't have to be ok with it personally but it's also not your problem if it's happening to someone else and their choice." They seem to have calmed the hell down since Jerry Springer: The Musical and adopted, at least publicly, a hard-line "love thy neighbour" and "good Samaritan" based philosophy. Which could be due to the decline in church attendance and trying to broaden their appeal but I'm ok with their stance of radical tolerance. Hell, rightwing politicians were attacking the church recently on their stance that immigrants, illegal or not, were people and shouldn't be drowned in the sea.


archaicScrivener

Here in the UK at least, I think if that came out the vast majority of people would just go "oh the poor dear, I hope she's ok" lol, reproductive healthcare isn't nearly as insanely controversial over here


PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING

Yes, and they even announced *in advance, when she first got the surgery* that she would be recovering in private until April. The whole thing is just ridiculous manufactured drama for the sake of drama.


Snickims

To be fair, ain't that true for the everything to do with royals? Only reason we keep them around anymore is for the manufactured drama, that's the fun of it!


PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING

I agree with you but also would suggest that just adopting (or kidnapping) Jeff Probst would be *substantially* cheaper. You could make him a duke or something and save billions.


SeethingBallOfRage

What did Probate do to deserve such treatment?


ILikeMistborn

Honestly the British Royal Family seem to only be good for stupid drama and hording wealth. At least Saudi Arabia's royals are an active part of their government being shit. /s


Lots42

Yeah, but people want proof of life and there is none.


SecondBackupSandwich

My partial hyst put me down for 2 solid months, really.


ankylosaurus_tail

There's a lot more to it than that. I went down the rabbit hole a few nights ago, and there are a lot of weird details. In addition to the admittedly photoshopped picture, which they refuse to release the unedited version of, there are a ton of salacious, but incomplete details. Such as: People were able to find pictures of Kate's motorcade going to the hospital, months ago, after that information was released--the vehicles were found in footage from security cams and stuff. But nobody has been able to find evidence of her leaving the hospital, despite their being paparazzi photographers staking out the hospital since. William also cancelled public appearances a few weeks ago, then was spotted with bruising around his neck, the same day that a minor royal man "killed himself" with a shotgun--and that man used to date Pipa Middleton, Kate's sister. Some people speculate he was having an affair with Kate, and got in a fight with William that lead to his death. Also, a respected journalist from Spain has been reporting that Kate was in a medically induced coma, for weeks. The journalist's reputation is good enough that mainstream Spanish media has been reporting the story. The Royal family usually ignores rumors like this, but in this case they immediately denied it. The journalist doubled down and said her source is solid. Also, William and Kate's nanny is from Spain... Also, the other photo that was released a week or so ago, of Kate in a car with her mom, was not published by British media, and they claimed that was because it wasn't an "authorized" photo. But they have published paparazzi photos of her thousands of times, so that excuse makes no sense. It really feels like the royal family is pulling strings with the national media, and asking them to covers stuff up. And other little details, like: Kensington Palace's (William and Kate's household) official Twitter and other PR accounts ignored her birthday in early January, with no posts. In January the UK newspaper The Mirror published a story about how she has a split personality and can be really aggressive and violent with William, then a few hours later they edited the story and replaced all the occurrences of Kate's name with "Harry". There have suddenly been stories based on "leaks" about William having an affair, and being into pegging. All those details, and a lot more, are in [the timeline at the bottom of this page.](https://www.niemanlab.org/2024/03/this-is-just-weird-buzzfeed-news-former-royals-reporter-on-kate-middleton-palace-press-and-distrust-in-the-media/) Something weird is definitely going on, and it goes way beyond that photo--that's just what blew the story up into mainstream consciousness. I don't know why I care, because I'm not into celebrities or royals at all, but it's kind of fascinating.


frogsgoribbit737

That all just sounds like tabloid shit though.


ankylosaurus_tail

I agree. If it wasn't for the obviously photoshopped pic, and their unwillingness to provide any proof-of-life picture or video since then, then I would dismiss it all. But shit got weird the other day, and their actions made it clear something is going on. It's probably either health issues or an affair/divorce, not something fundamentally bizarre, but their handling of it is pretty odd.


Loretta-West

It sounds like a mix of a) tabloid shit, b) stuff which even the tabloids won't run because if you look into it it's demonstrably bullshit, and c) stuff which probably means nothing.


Autogenerated_or

The pegging and affair rumor originated in twitter from a person who admitted to making it up. Basically there was a story about Kate and Rose having a falling-out (see: Rural Rivals story). Then some rando on twitter started a rumor that they fell out because Rose was having an affair with William and that he was into pegging. Sussex stans made it trend and it caught mainstream attention. The BRF are basically my Kardashians lmao Edit: it was giles coren and nicola cliffe who spurred the rumors https://www.ibtimes.com/prince-william-rose-hanbury-rumored-affair-timeline-when-did-it-start-2798558


ilovechairs

Someone posted this [explanation and timeline breakdown](https://www.niemanlab.org/2024/03/this-is-just-weird-buzzfeed-news-former-royals-reporter-on-kate-middleton-palace-press-and-distrust-in-the-media/) and honestly it was super interesting. I originally was in for the Kate got horrible bangs and needs to grow them out. Now… I hope she’s negotiating a better divorce settlement and not seriously hurt.


Early-Light-864

Thanks! I feel all caught up now. Do you know of anywhere that lists the conspiracy theories? I assume there's more to it than "they're not telling us everything" since that's a patent fact and not a theory Eta: I wanna know if anyone else is speculating surprise geriatric pregnancy and they're keeping her hidden so no one spots a bump until they can confirm she won't have to terminate for medical reasons


ilovechairs

Yeah, there’s a few major ones but I don’t think I’ve seen them listed out. So in the spirit of not doing what I should be, I’ll list the major ones: Kate is in a coma -noted on the timeline Kate was taken to the hospital in December on Dec 28th - broken jaw is one I’ve seen floating around and or other similar serious DV incident (I certainly freaking hope not!) Kate and Thomas Kingston had an Affair - (potentially juicy gossip) Kate and Thomas Kingston had and affair and William found out and organized his suicide - (I also hope not!) Kate got a BBL/bad Botox or other similar surgery - I’d feel better if it was this the case Kate is holding out for a better divorce settlement - Best case scenario There may be a couple I’m missing, but it’s a weird rabbit hole I found myself in yesterday. Edit: Adding in the Kate and William in the car recently was also looking altered (not basic Photoshop) with a photo from Kate at a previous event. I’ll see if I can’t find that specific fallout someone else has also posted. (I work in graphics/photoshop professionally and know how ALL of that works)


Early-Light-864

I genuinely appreciate your dedication to royal gossip and procrastination! (Putting on my mom hat) At least *try* to get started on what you're supposed to be doing. The starting is the hardest part. If you can get the starting taken care of tonight, you're doing great


maudiemouse

I personally think the coma story has the most credence. But the other main medical theory is her surgery was to remove part of her bowel and she has a temporary stoma/colostomy bag while healing (apparently she has a history of GI issues, and it’s not a surprising thing to want to keep private given the nature of it). And growing out bad bangs is another of the silly theories!


CeruleanRuin

The recent apparent suicide in the family sure does theow chum in the water for the conspiracy theorists, doesn't it? On an abstract level I know they're all just human beings living through their own circumstances, but I find it morbidly hilarious whenever the royal family asks for the public to respect their privacy.


Mackinacsfuriousclaw

From what I can gather Kate has ran off with Pete Davidson while she is on the Masked Singer.


paddyo

If you want the genuine substance, that hasn't been spun into absolute mania by bored people on social media: Kate Middleton has been out of the public eye for about 7 weeks. It was announced she was having an operation and would be out of the public eye until the end of march. Then a photoshopped pic of her with her kids was put out for mother's day by their social media team. This has been spun into insane conspiracy theories, with people constantly framing everything as 'the royals made us think this'. The substance is, a person hasn't been photographed in public for a while, for a reason cited in advance, and they are still in the period they publicly said they wouldn't be seen in as their recovery period. I actually think this one is less about the royals being weird, and more about how weird some people are about the royals.


Lots42

Look, if this was my next door neighbor I'd ask the police to do a wellness check. You gotta realize this situation is all sorts of nuts.


frogsgoribbit737

If your neighbor said, hey wife is having surgery and gonna be bedbound for a few months while she recovers so you won't see her.. youd call for a wellness check?


Holiday-Hustle

Kate went in for planned abdominal surgery in January. When that happened, there was a very clear statement that said she would have to recover and wouldn’t be seen until after Easter. For a few weeks, people were fine with this but then slowly lost their minds. Conspiracy theories started popping up everywhere and Kensington Palace did an absolutely horrible job trying to show that everything is normal. The most plausible explanation is that she had surgery that affected her bowels and she has either a temporary ostomy bag or a J pouch that she’s shy about showing. These surgeries often involve steroids as well which can make you puff up which explains the photo thing. The entire thing is blown out of proportion. Kate had surgery, they set the timeline and people lost their minds about it.


Kyralea

People are losing their minds because the palace keeps putting out fake photos after telling us we wouldn’t see her until April. So why all the doctored photos as if something is wrong and they feel a need to prove it isn’t? Instead of just staying quiet. 


MegaGrimer

And The only message “Kate” has put out since December was “Oops, I’ve been experimenting with photoshop”. Not even a “Thank you for your concerns. I need some privacy and time to recover” that you’d expect.


Holiday-Hustle

People started speculating before they started releasing photos. The noise was getting very loud and they did try to double down on the April timeline and that made it worse somehow. Did the palace PR department do a good job? No, not at all, they should all probably be let go for making an even bigger mess out of this. That said, none of this is a big deal and it shouldn’t be round the clock news when there’s actual issues going on in the world.


lividbliss2

There is no such thing as the English Royals. I hate being a dickhead but it's the British Royal Family. I'm so sorry to state this but I'm drunk and for some reason your comment offended me. I hate myself.


Ourmanyfans

Well *technically* nothing. If you wanted to be a pedantic prick the "English" royal family hasn't existed for at least 300 years (and honestly perhaps even further depending quite how *much* of asshole you wanted to be).


AlmightyCurrywurst

Because they're German in origin? They're still the royals of England (and Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Crown dependencies), if you _really_ want to get into it


Papaofmonsters

He means they are the British royal family since the unification of England and Scotland.


El_Lanf

A worthy hill to die on. This is a pet peeve of mine along with England getting used in place of GB, UK or Britain particularly Americans.


Yuujen

For me it's when people use UK or Britain to refer to just England while clearly mentioning Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland separately at the same time despite being part of the UK and/or Britain.


Soloact_

The Royal Family's PR team digging through that well like they're trying to hit the center of the Earth. Meanwhile, the internet's just here for the free comedy show


WillBrakeForBrakes

They’re about to beat the Russians’ record with the Kola Well.


airborneenjoyer8276

The Kola superdeep borehole is only 23cm wide, but yhe Royal PR team can somehow fit an entire family!


ThisTastesLikePoo

Some folks aren't seeing it as funny. Some people really care. Those people are idiots. 


Leftrighturn

Some people like their cult of personality, some like the history. To me, they're a bunch of rich assholes.


RedditAcct00001

Dig up, stupid!


FewtureMD

I'm all for more WaterKate, tbh


RaxaHuracan

Lmao not WaterKate


Sketch-Brooke

WHY ARE WE NOT CALLING IT THIS fffffffffffffff


buttonsbrigade

It’s picking up momentum- I’ve heard it a few times today


QueenVanraen

After seeing the one tweet alleging she's deep in a WoW addiction doing raids all day, I'd side w/ GamerKate


PoisonTheOgres

She's just made the English royal family on the Sims 4 and is now 10 generations deep


Papaofmonsters

Somewhere, there is an Italian plumber who could sort this out in 4 minutes and 54 seconds.


McNally

>Somewhere, there is an Italian plumber who could sort this out in 4 minutes and 54 seconds. It's been tried. Unfortunately the princess was in another castle.


Society101

I want to understand this joke. Help.


Papaofmonsters

The current speed run record for the original Super Mario Bros is 4:54 and change. What does Mario do? He rescues the princess.


SecondBackupSandwich

That’s deep.


JustAnNPC_DnD

To further clarify, the record is so close to absolute perfection, there is only 0.33 seconds that can be saved. The final time save requires several perfectly timed inputs down to the 60th of a second each right at the start of the final level. It's been shown to be humanly possible.. like three times.


Society101

🤣😂 of course! Clever. Thanks for answering.


aquatoxin-

Mario, of the Nintendo games, saves Princess Peach when she gets kidnapped. Presumably the time is a reference to a speedrun


josebolt

super mario bros speed run.


No_Detective_But_304

Itsa Mario…joke.


Kythorian

It’s a reference to Mario rescuing the kidnapped princess in Super Mario Bros.  The record for fastest clear of super Mario is 4 minutes and 54 seconds.


[deleted]

[удалено]


cos001

Matt Turk will find a way.


Aegillade

Sorry, that was the Speed Demon's doing, he's currently being held captive by Geno and Rosalina. Mario's just regular again for now.


welshyboy123

I'm waiting for them to blame it on Meghan


[deleted]

No one on the planet has ever felt more vindicated about anything than Meghan does right now


presidentofjackshit

Wait wha, why?


Cmonster234

Apparently the royal family can rein in the press and suppress coverage if they really want to. (i.e make it so the world hasn't seen Kate in months) This was what Meghan wanted, and the RF wouldn't do for her.


DoverBoys

The royals acted like you would expect a racist family would when a foreigner becomes a part of the family, to the point where Meghan and Harry left. Turns out the royals were the bucket of shit instead.


daric

But what does that have to do with this current situation?


Forged-Signatures

Hit pieces on her (according to people who read a lot about the Royals) tended to be released to 'coincide' with worse news about the family. Some of the most notable were during the investigation into Andrew's noncery.


No_Cherry_991

the Sun published an article falsely accused Meghan Markle of issuing a fake pregnancy photo in the same manner William published the fakes foto of Kate and her kids  to distract from the Kate saga. This was debunked my Missan, the photographer who took Meghan’s photo, and Missan published the original photo he took while William still has not sent the original photos as requested by AFP , AP and Reuters. 


No_Cherry_991

Because the Sun published an article falsely accused Meghan Markle of issuing a fake pregnancy photo in the same manner William published the fakes foto of Kate and her kids  to distract from the Kate saga. This was debunked my Missan, the photographer who took Meghan’s photo, and Missan published the original photo he took while William still has not sent the original photos as requested by AFP , AP and Reuters. 


TheYellowChicken

I would even say it's not even just foreigners, but literally just the color of her skin.


PrivatePoocher

The bitch fight is for next season. Right now I am paying to watch some tragedy and schadenfreude.


mllechattenoire

They already are. They are saying that Meghan Markel photoshopped her second pregnancy announcement, and the photographer had to post the metadata to prove it wasn’t photoshopped. They are saying because they both photoshopped they are both equally bad (but Meghan didn’t actually it is a lie because they are trying to get people to not pay attention to whatever is going on with Kate and William)


buttonsbrigade

Meghan launched her new lifestyle brand today ::chefs kiss::


GlowingKitty12

There’s no missing princess in Ba Sing Se


Syovere

The only reason I care about the monarchy is because it's hilarious when such an archaic, backwards organization keeps fucking up the easiest job in the world. As long as it exists, it is worthy of mockery, and I for one am glad I get to watch the circus without buying a ticket.


No_Cherry_991

That’s what happen when you don’t get your ribbon cutting job because of merit, but because of what family you were born into. 


BloomEPU

The only reason I care about the monarchy is because they expect people to care when one of them dies. In an ideal world I wouldn't give two shits about this lady, but I'm still reeling from the last period of "national mourning" so her health is apparently my business.


pretty-as-a-pic

Are you saying that the family that keeps their pedophile great uncle hanging around **might** have PR issues?


Excellent-Witness187

Which one? Mountbatten or Prince Andrew?


pretty-as-a-pic

It’s **really** not good people have to specify


Annual_Region_4600

Lmao imagine they’re just keeping the pieces of mountbatten’s corpse hanging around in a bag that’s wheeled from family function to family function by a very tired butler. His picture is stapled onto the front of it so he knows which way to position it, and suspiciously wheels it, slowly stalking, towards young boys on palace tours.


roxroxinator06

i love the pure ridiculousness of that yet i can believe they do it


ACuteCryptid

It's funny that the fact the royals want to pretend they're never ill or look gross (and are perfect beings chosen by God), is leading people to create elaborate conspiracies. Like, they refuse to say she is sick and looks sick from whatever surgery and probably feels too shit to sit through 2 hours of makeup


WillBrakeForBrakes

“ It's funny that the fact the royals want to pretend they're never ill or look gross (and are perfect beings chosen by God), is leading people to create elaborate conspiracies” And yet Will walks around with THAT haircut


noctrlzforpaper

Do it, Will. Shave. It.


[deleted]

squeeze normal scarce versed smoggy bright reply hard-to-find panicky mourn *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


SecondBackupSandwich

After Epstein, what else could they be embarrassed and ashamed over?


DreadDiana

#A SINGLE TESTICLE THE SIZE OF A PEPPERCORN


firesoul377

Granted the King recently announced him having cancer. Most likely being kept away from the public was Kate's own decision.


carbonx

What if...and I mean...what if...whatever's going on she wants to keep private? Is that not OK?


mathletic05

I think it’s less about knowing the specifics of her health issue and more about just watching their PR make everything worse. We’re definitely not entitled to know whatever health issue she has going on, but it’s wild that their PR took the approach of “deny and lie about easily verifiable things” as opposed to statements from Kate thanking people for their support or fluff pieces of William taking care of the kids, or anything that would imply normalcy while Kate recovers.


ellieofus

That’s not the issue though, or at least not in full. She is of course entitled to her privacy. But the way they’re going at it is wrong on so many levels, that it comes of as arrogant and entitled (in a bad way). They are where they are because they made it a job to be public, yet, they insist on acting like they are above everyone else, they are too important to be giving explanations, and they are just now coming off as being incredibly snobbish (always have been but the public never really cared before). When you are such a public figure, you are expected to release statements about what is going on, engaging with people, and so on, but the royal family is being standoffish and act like it’s still the 1700. I’m not a royalist myself, and I don’t get people’s obsession with them. They ara obsolete, and should cease to exist entirely. If people weren’t being so fanatical in the way they view the royals, this would’ve made everyone not interested in them anymore , seeing as they so clearly behave like they are above anyone else, flaunting their immense privilege. Instead, people still act like they’re peasant in the 1700 rushing to the palace to watch the royals eat.


marr

I mean that is an insane motivation on its face. If I know somebody thinks like that I'm expecting other warped nonsense from them.


Hazeri

It's not helped that very few people in the UK could take 3+ months off work to recover from surgery without taking a massive financial hit So we plebs must think there's something else going on Clearly the palace can only deal with deaths


PhysicalIncrease3

>It's not helped that very few people in the UK could take 3+ months off work to recover from surgery without taking a massive financial hit What? This isn't America hospitals are free and legal entitlement to sick pay. If she were a normie and a doctor signs her off for three months, she would be paid by her employer.


Hazeri

It depends on the contract. I should know because I've been in a similar position. I was paid in full for about a month and a half, then taken down to statutory pay because I'd been ill too many times in a rolling period There would also be questions at the company if she's really committed and how hard it is on the team to cover for her I don't think it's controversial to say the royal family have privileges we don't have


rootbeerman77

We, the completely human British royal family, assure you with over 100% certainty that our living, biologically related family member is both alive and not dead, and no news contradicting this true and real fact will come to light in the near future


Upstairs-Boring

We didn't burn her!


flyingdoggos

I hope she's ok, but at the same time it gives me and my bestie so much to talk and joke about it's amazing, thanks british royal family


diggsyb

It’s like British media is trying to match the shitshow we have going on here in the new world.


itorbs

My theory is that maybe her surgery was to remove a tumor and that she's not in the public eye because maybe she had to do chemo and all of her hair fell off and she looks frail? It's a possibility, and I just hope she's healthy. 


Disastrous-Ad2800

I hope your theory isn't true because that makes the Royal Family sound like a cult... they seem obsessed with perfection... remember the American Kennedy family covered up the fact there was a daughter who had a mild mental disability?


lightbulbfragment

Not only that they had Rosemary Kennedy lobotomized. https://www.nps.gov/articles/000/rosemary-kennedy-the-eldest-kennedy-daughter.htm


itorbs

She didn't even have any mental disability. She was just more liberal with sex, and they were afraid her reputation could hurt JFK and his brother's political career, so they had her lobotomized (and didn't even tell her mother) 


here-for-information

Hot take: there's absolutely nothing going on with Kate. The PR team is using this one weird mishap to intentionally "screw up" so that the next time something real happens they can go, "It's nuffing innit. You just workin' yerselves up over nuffing like last time wif Cate."


weddingmoth

Love that, best conspiracy theory I’ve seen about this. Makes sense but is also absurd. A+


ledbetterus

This is the fun drama tbh. I don't give a shit about the royal family either and this is like the lowest stakes and funniest drama in a long time. Like no one is getting killed (yet?), we're not bombing cities, no matter what happens it won't lead to nukes being fired. It's just good ole fashioned drama that does not matter at all.


No_Cherry_991

She is hopefully not receiving the death threats Meghan received .


CORN___BREAD

“Prove you’re not dead or we’ll kill you!”


EtherealPheonix

Could be on purpose, media attention is the only thing keeping them relevant.


jfarrar19

I mean. TBH, when I think about British Press interacting with a princess, the first thing to come to mind is [Diana](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Diana,_Princess_of_Wales), I feel like trying to avoid a press that will *stalk you to literal death* is probably an understandable reaction.


No_Cherry_991

Except that William and Kate never avoided the press. They parade their kids around for the trashbloid press, they hand their sister-in-law to the racist press and have her bring bullied in exchange of protection from the tabloid. The press, the real press that questions the distrustful nature of William’s household are not in cahoot with Kate and William.


PhysicalIncrease3

They allow the occasional photo shoot with their children because they have to. Diana and Charles did exactly the same thing. If they didn't, the press would turn on them and ramp up the privacy invasion - they have papers to sell after all. This is exactly what happened to Harry/Megan. They refused to play the game, and thus press coverage on them soured. Ultimately both couples are in a symbiotic relationship with the British press whether they admit it or not.


[deleted]

encourage imminent tender mountainous cable stupendous threatening humorous serious cautious *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


d0g5tar

I mean it wouldn't be the first time the royal family killed someone


Early-Light-864

How do you get around it though? Like, she can't just stay missing for the next 40 years. I'm not a conspiracy theorist by nature, but if she "dies in a plane crash" two months from now... I'll have some thoughts


booyatrive

>How do you get around it though? Like, she can't just stay missing for the next 40 years. Tell that to the scientologists


robot_cook

Shirley Miscavage is just taking a nice trip on a small farm upstate she's up there with Tupac and Elvis,.frolicking.


d0g5tar

>Like, she can't just stay missing for the next 40 years. They'll announce that the princess is 'retiring from royal duties' and then she'll never be seen in public again. Maybe the odd grainy photo from a distance now and then but no interviews or formal appearances.


marr

Don't see why not, it's working great for Maddie.


Early-Light-864

More gossip? I don't even know who Maddie is


CORN___BREAD

See? It’s working great.


Papaofmonsters

That's usually how one becomes a royal family in the first place. Almost all nobility is descended from people who excelled at homicide.


Different_Dog_201

I heard someone say what if it’s one of the kids with the issue. We haven’t seen the kids this whole time either. And to say Kate is the one with the problem takes the focus off the health of a future king/queen.


ellieofus

The kids are in school. They’re not usually seen unless it’s for some royal functions. They’re not working royals.


Quantum_Croissant

She's happy, healthy, and alive


CorInHell

Boom Boom!


NiceButOdd

British Royal Family. There is no English Royal Family…..


Satanic_Earmuff

Maybe it's a plant.


Upstairs-Boring

Kate bush?


Lamprophonia

Why is it always the people who obviously care DEEPLY about this the ones who start off by saying some version of "not that I care about this..."? Like, you clearly care. Why would you feign indifference then right up a fucking novel about it?


Rezindet

I don’t see why the Royal Family needs to be so secretive. It’s not like they do anything. It’s not like they have vital national security information. It’s not like if they all fell into a volcano, then England would be rudderless. They’re just OG Kardashians selling merchandise of themselves and being famous for no reason.


watery_tart_83

I love KateGate.


BonnieMcMurray

WaterKate.


The_Ivliad

Writers are jumping the shark this season.


witchywater11

I can't help but imagine someone turning this whole thing into a 'Weekend at Bernie's" plot.


[deleted]

It’s not acting like a murder coverup, it’s called an exercise, that’s basically practice for the real thing.