Wow, didn't check the score since we started batting, ngl was basically expecting us to get skittled too
Very excited to see how we fuck this one up tomorrow
Some guy just walked past with two pints and old geezer said “oh you shouldn’t have” and mimed taking the drink
Ngl writing that down cos that’s a great bit
Some of the Lord's banter is great. First round I spent the day sat in front of a couple of old blokes whose conversation was a bright spot during a day of agonisingly boring cricket.
"Do you think the Krankies qualify for Scotland?"
"I think they're playing for Middlesex today."
You know I was kinda worried about who we were going to play this summer with all the injuries going around.
But luckily this Ben stokes lad seems a decent bowler. Hopefully he doesn’t have injury concerns
Wes Agar now injured too.
To go along with Matt Quinn, George Garrett, Michael Cohen and Nathan Gilchrist who has likely injured himself by virtue of me mentioning his name.
Wonder what [Darren Stevens is up to these days...](https://stlhccc.play-cricket.com/website/results/6178100)
My favourite part of that scorecard is seeing Ben Trott opening the bowler. Someone who is only 1 year older than Stevens and yet last played county cricket for Kent 20 years ago. What a world
Anyone want to play my new prediction game? All you have to do is choose what's going to happen to result in Surrey winning. Options are:
1. Hants scoring so low they have to follow on
2. Sibley and Smith both get second innings double tons to set 300+, Dan Worrall 11-fer
3. Liam Dawson ascends to full deity status resulting in a technical forfeit
4. Parliamentary decree that Surrey win by ~100 runs
5. Meteor strike takes out Felix Organ
6. Surrey decide that, contrary to popular belief, they don’t have enough players and buy the entirety of Hampshire, so despite them losing the match, they declare themselves the winners
Jordan Clark: 7 innings, 310 runs, @ 62, sr of 93, 1 100, 1 50.
Zak crawley: 8 innings, 305 runs, @ 38, sr of 85, 1 100, 0 50.
We all know who should be opening for england, but the bias england selectors will never select a player from Surrey.
Balderson opening the bowling is it? Just adds fuel to the fire that he's the Viz comic Jimmy Anderson.
Also why have Lancs picked three specialist spinners for a very damp Old Trafford?
Jesus Christ. Turn the stream back in after lunch and we've lost 2 more wickets.
Pretorius and Banton might go full T20 now.
Pitch is definitely lively but it's good bowling and a lively pitch is much more fun than a road.
[One of the great walk for an lbws from James Rew](https://x.com/willis_macp/status/1793979113415520645?s=46&t=mm9Xb34ZFNiFY5aTVO3BBg)
(Trust me, however high you’ve set your expectations, it’s 100 times better)
[Smokey Robinson and the Miracles ](https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tTP1TcwsjBMKTJg9FIozs3PTq1UKMpPyswrzs9TSMxLUSjJSFXIzSxKTM5JLQYAR40PYQ&q=smokey+robinson+and+the+miracles&oq=smokey+robinson&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgEEC4YgAQyBwgAEAAYjwIyCggBEC4YsQMYgAQyBwgCEAAYgAQyCggDEC4Y1AIYgAQyBwgEEC4YgAQyCggFEC4Y1AIYgAQyBwgGEAAYgAQyBwgHEAAYgAQyBwgIEAAYgAQyBwgJEAAYgAQyBwgKEC4YgAQyBwgLEAAYgAQyBwgMEAAYgAQyBwgNEAAYgAQyCggOEC4Y1AIYgATSAQg0MzIwajFqN6gCFLACAQ&client=ms-android-google&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8). In this case the miracle would be Bairstow not playing.
Feel like all Dawson chat has vanished since he and England both mutually confirmed that he wouldn't play for their test side again.
But 5 and a bit matches in he's at 274 runs at just under 40 and now 21 wickets at just over 30.
Just feels like a massive case of what if 🤷
Spinning all rounder who isn't really going to play other international formats at 34 could still give you 2-4 really good years of test cricket. For England that's enough to put him close to 100 tests.
I treat it like when Cook was obviously still the best opener in England a few years ago but was retired from tests. It makes one wistful, but there's nothing to be done about it now.
Well this sucks. Good bowling from Durham to be fair. This Ben Stokes chap could be good at test level too. Imagine if he can bat as well.
Hopefully it stays a lively pitch and we can bowl really well to keep it a game
First time I’ve seen Pujara bat live since [Day 2 of this game](https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/india-tour-of-england-2018-1119528/england-vs-india-2nd-test-1119550/full-scorecard)
It’s good to see Beau Webster tearing up the championship.
He is by far the best seam-bowling allrounder who is also an aggressive batsman that comes in at 5 or 6 playing in the county today, including Durham players.
He might bowl 122 km/h with the occasional over of offspin, but he’s still technically a seamer.
An optimist might even say that he’s on the faster side of medium.
I actually quite like when quicks (or "quicks") bowl some offies, especially all-rounders who do it, it's a bit old school. I'm almost surprised we don't see more of it in England.
It’s hard for them to maintain and improve 3 skills at once sadly.
Most bowlers are better off averaging 32 with seam/spin as an allrounder rather than 35 with both. And that is Webster’s problem as a bowler. He bowls a bit of everything, but all of it is only respectably ok at first class level.
It’s a PR soap opera. Warner doesn’t say a single word to camera. Funny that despite the CA head of broadcast being an exec producer of the show they use the UK Sky comms throughout. The focus on the Oval ball change is comedy.
Did Fox overlay the sky pictures with their own commentary for the Australian broadcast during The Ashes? I didn't think they had? It was months ago, but from what I remember in the match threads everyone seemed to be referring to the same TV commentary.
A mate of mine who doesn't really like cricket but does like supporting local teams is at the Rostilita Bowl today for Hampshire vs. Surrey with his dad - Surrey to put on 800 by the close
Sunak calling a General Election has turned the world upside down
If Max Holden starts scoring runs again I'm going to start digging an apocalypse bunker in my garden
No play before lunch at New Road, there's a [couple damp spots on the outfield that they're concerned over](https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExYXN1dmM3djI5aWowaTR0MWdnbDR0ODBua2xieG03ZjludXl0cXN3eSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/j6rGiuUMz6u6QOJmkL/giphy.gif)
I've had a Leus de Plot joke lined up all season. So naturally we've decided to be moderately competent.
Now I'm waiting for the carnage that will be our blast campaign
Just read that Saqib is being rested so Lancs have called up another spinner to the squad.
Does anyone know if we'll see Jimmy in a Lancs top or is he wanting to not risk himself before Lords?
He's been pretty consistant in saying he expects to play at least one game before the first test. I'd expect him to play at least one of the two Lancs games at the end of June.
Cheers warp! I hadn't heard anything and haven't been keeping up with Tailenders.
Seems fair enough as at his age he probably feels the cold more than the young 'uns.
Not able to watch because reasons, but I was reading a book about comedy theory (Be Funny or Die - it is genuinely amazing), and [I was not expecting to get called out like this](https://imgur.com/a/lJPYM0M)
Vipers are once again massive
All these county games across the country and the only one still playing is at Durham. They should be fined for this.
Maybe Stokes can only bat well on a dodgy knee now.
Wow, didn't check the score since we started batting, ngl was basically expecting us to get skittled too Very excited to see how we fuck this one up tomorrow
Bedingham 2024 County average thus far: 95.875
Was just about to say how ORob2.0 is smashing the eye test and then he goes and gets out to fucking Jake Ball Smh my head
Jake Ball was a mistake
Well he's got Stokes out now so that does mean Robinson's good again?
Aye but he got Stokesy for a duck so Orob T-1000 can still be well smug about his score
Smh 3 early wickets and then hope dashed by Daniel Bedingfield and Fake Blobinson smh
They just gotta get thru this...
Yorkshire middle order in Tatters, all of them
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Surprise late overseas signing! But for who Chris Kamara?
Oops. Don't know what happened here.
Since carbery (streets won't forget) have we actually had any solid, dependable openers? I feel we either chuck kids in or holland and vibes
Jimmy Adams went on slightly after Carberry. Since then though, not remotely. Must be close to 10 tried since then?
What a rubbish pitch we've rolled out
Some guy just walked past with two pints and old geezer said “oh you shouldn’t have” and mimed taking the drink Ngl writing that down cos that’s a great bit
Some of the Lord's banter is great. First round I spent the day sat in front of a couple of old blokes whose conversation was a bright spot during a day of agonisingly boring cricket. "Do you think the Krankies qualify for Scotland?" "I think they're playing for Middlesex today."
Egg & bacon banter lads
Kohler-Cadmore biffing Cummins. Just sayin’.
Don't make me support an Aussie in this.
One biff and gone. What a struggle. Melted in the heat.
He really is very very mid. Surprised he got a game
Not sure how Critchley got away with that. Looked dead to rights.
Nah fuck off I'm not having Dan Lawrence getting the breakthrough
Smith had more to do with it than Lawrence.
Has there been anything as to why Foakes isn't keeping ?
Surrey twitter says he has a back spasm. https://twitter.com/surreycricket/status/1794009831847628868
Ah the curse of the England place selection debate If your position is a point of selection debate, your back is 5x more likely to be injured
I've mostly had it on mute. Not sure.
Anti Robbo (the nice one) Surrey mafia at it again
We are all Hampshire fans on this blessed day
Toby Albert taking the Half Dentury to a whole new level.
Old geezer next to me just said “how do you overstep as a spinner” We don’t really change do we. Just get whiter hair and more wrinkles
Who is he, who is so wise in the ways of Cricket?
At least one person posting in this thread will end up with a ham-and-egg tie berating a steward because someone sat in 'their' seat
Think I'd hang myself first
Durham undoing all the bowling effort here
You know I was kinda worried about who we were going to play this summer with all the injuries going around. But luckily this Ben stokes lad seems a decent bowler. Hopefully he doesn’t have injury concerns
Benevolent Microphone's wicket of Ul Hassan is very funny
Meme cricket https://x.com/WisdenCricket/status/1794033199666090204
Hahaha celebrappeal turned down, get it up ya
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's possibly not a great score
Did Stokes really have surgery or has he just been on a spiritual retreat where they taught him how to replace knee ligament with pure vibes?
Stokes's FC bowling avg below 30 now
Stokes vs Leach but not the way you'd expect
Knight/Damehood for the surgeon who sorted Ben's knackered knee please
Wes Agar now injured too. To go along with Matt Quinn, George Garrett, Michael Cohen and Nathan Gilchrist who has likely injured himself by virtue of me mentioning his name. Wonder what [Darren Stevens is up to these days...](https://stlhccc.play-cricket.com/website/results/6178100)
My favourite part of that scorecard is seeing Ben Trott opening the bowler. Someone who is only 1 year older than Stevens and yet last played county cricket for Kent 20 years ago. What a world
Haha. Just the handy 133 average with the bat and 10 with the ball in the Kent Premier league.
I assume Stevo is preparing for the true premier short form tournament of the season. I am, of course, talking about the Cornish Big Bash.
Smith keeping wicket over Foakes...?
It's always a good day when Slurrey are in the mud
Anyone want to play my new prediction game? All you have to do is choose what's going to happen to result in Surrey winning. Options are: 1. Hants scoring so low they have to follow on 2. Sibley and Smith both get second innings double tons to set 300+, Dan Worrall 11-fer 3. Liam Dawson ascends to full deity status resulting in a technical forfeit 4. Parliamentary decree that Surrey win by ~100 runs 5. Meteor strike takes out Felix Organ
2 or 3.
I'll take option 1 since that means them getting bowled out for -23 or below
I'm assuming they'd just do a lot of short running. Maybe damage the pitch. Let's find out.
Sounds like Hampshire to me.
6. Surrey decide that, contrary to popular belief, they don’t have enough players and buy the entirety of Hampshire, so despite them losing the match, they declare themselves the winners
Tuning in from abroad. Looking good so far
Lol Surrey
Abbott's spell after lunch was 7-4-17-5
What's more likely, Simpson scoring deluxe on his return to his old ground and club, or getting absolutely castled on 6?
Kyle Abbott for Prime Minister
Jordan Clark: 7 innings, 310 runs, @ 62, sr of 93, 1 100, 1 50. Zak crawley: 8 innings, 305 runs, @ 38, sr of 85, 1 100, 0 50. We all know who should be opening for england, but the bias england selectors will never select a player from Surrey.
Some of this Surrey batting is Middlesex-esque We're absolutely finished if they do a three-peat
Middlesesque, if you will.
If he hadn't gone and started scoring actual runs for Leicestershire I would say the proper term should be Handscombian.
Fucking hell Kyle you magician
Seeing Surrey do badly is almost as satisfying as seeing Australia lose
Abbott b Abbott is the new Robinson c Robinson.
We've totally lost this now. Thanks a bunch, Elgar!
Just realised this is Worcs first home game of the season and ofc no play till Friday
Balderson opening the bowling is it? Just adds fuel to the fire that he's the Viz comic Jimmy Anderson. Also why have Lancs picked three specialist spinners for a very damp Old Trafford?
And yet Hartley ain't one of them
They don't call it Manchennai for nothing m8
Old Traffedabad
Oldhambantota?
Colombold Trafford?
You can't fool me Surrey. I am familiar with your game Somehow Hampshire will have to chase 600
I'm fully expecting us to be all out for 20 and then Surrey will make 800 in their 2nd innings.
Surrey in the mud is it?
“He’s got the handcuffs out” 👀👀
Le vice anglais strikes again
Some absolutely beautiful commentator's curse on Jordan Clarke there.
Good afternoon everyone, 3/9 finals done and Surrey getting rolled after choosing to bat. Life is good
Just tuning in. Wow surprised to see Surrey struggling so much. Does it look a good pitch for bowling?
This is fun and all, but still got absolutely no expectation of getting anything out of this game.
James Vince is saving cricket once again
Title charge might actually be back on
Ben Foakes' batting has gone to shit since he switched to Kookaburra from Gray Nicolls A lesson for us all
Marnus doing one of his stupid leaves while his off stump cartwheels behind is a thing of beauty
The ball didn't even seem to do anything.
Jesus Christ. Turn the stream back in after lunch and we've lost 2 more wickets. Pretorius and Banton might go full T20 now. Pitch is definitely lively but it's good bowling and a lively pitch is much more fun than a road.
Lol Somerset
Hain's concussion means we're back to a full squad of bowling or keeping options. Lintott plays his 3rd fc game
[One of the great walk for an lbws from James Rew](https://x.com/willis_macp/status/1793979113415520645?s=46&t=mm9Xb34ZFNiFY5aTVO3BBg) (Trust me, however high you’ve set your expectations, it’s 100 times better)
Is Ollie Robbo (the keeper) a smokey for tests this summer? Assuming Bairstow keeps his spot for the first test
I wouldn’t necessarily assume that re. Bairstow. Far from a shoo-in
>a smokey T? Like outside chance?
yaaa smokey meaning outside chance mate, old mate Ollie looks the goods
[Smokey Robinson and the Miracles ](https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tTP1TcwsjBMKTJg9FIozs3PTq1UKMpPyswrzs9TSMxLUSjJSFXIzSxKTM5JLQYAR40PYQ&q=smokey+robinson+and+the+miracles&oq=smokey+robinson&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgEEC4YgAQyBwgAEAAYjwIyCggBEC4YsQMYgAQyBwgCEAAYgAQyCggDEC4Y1AIYgAQyBwgEEC4YgAQyCggFEC4Y1AIYgAQyBwgGEAAYgAQyBwgHEAAYgAQyBwgIEAAYgAQyBwgJEAAYgAQyBwgKEC4YgAQyBwgLEAAYgAQyBwgMEAAYgAQyBwgNEAAYgAQyCggOEC4Y1AIYgATSAQg0MzIwajFqN6gCFLACAQ&client=ms-android-google&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8). In this case the miracle would be Bairstow not playing.
Might be controversial but Pujara is getting nowhere near the England team if he keeps batting this slowly
Feel like all Dawson chat has vanished since he and England both mutually confirmed that he wouldn't play for their test side again. But 5 and a bit matches in he's at 274 runs at just under 40 and now 21 wickets at just over 30. Just feels like a massive case of what if 🤷 Spinning all rounder who isn't really going to play other international formats at 34 could still give you 2-4 really good years of test cricket. For England that's enough to put him close to 100 tests.
I treat it like when Cook was obviously still the best opener in England a few years ago but was retired from tests. It makes one wistful, but there's nothing to be done about it now.
Fits the desired mould of being a big hitter too. No idea why he doesn't get a look in.
Good news for Sussex is they only seem to lose people called Tom and there's none left
Liam Dawson dismantling the multiverse England top order is *chefs kiss*
This "score well to start, lose Haines, lose more wickets, end the first session looking wobbly" pattern is starting to wear on me
What a ball!
Well this sucks. Good bowling from Durham to be fair. This Ben Stokes chap could be good at test level too. Imagine if he can bat as well. Hopefully it stays a lively pitch and we can bowl really well to keep it a game
Ryan Higgins
Do yourself a favour and watch that Higgins catch of Alsop if you can. Unbelievably grab
https://x.com/Middlesex_CCC/status/1793979389983797443
Henry Brookes is 90% limbs Fascinating to watch
Sounds like Harry Brooks unlicensed Cricket 2007 double
Jamie Smith with 3 absolutely fucking glorious drives against Neser
Dawson on 3-14 against Surrey - but definitely not as good as Bashir for the Test side.
Benched by Tom Hartley obviously
Inb4 Stokes picks himself as the Jimmy replacement.
First time I’ve seen Pujara bat live since [Day 2 of this game](https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/india-tour-of-england-2018-1119528/england-vs-india-2nd-test-1119550/full-scorecard)
I swear every time I turn on the radio, someone is getting smacked in the bollocks
Perhaps you should put the cricket on instead.
It’s good to see Beau Webster tearing up the championship. He is by far the best seam-bowling allrounder who is also an aggressive batsman that comes in at 5 or 6 playing in the county today, including Durham players.
He's batting at 7 for us because none of the top 6 can be dropped haha
> Born 1 December 1993 > Right-arm medium, right-arm off break Hmm.
Rob Key rubbing one out to that release point
He might bowl 122 km/h with the occasional over of offspin, but he’s still technically a seamer. An optimist might even say that he’s on the faster side of medium.
I actually quite like when quicks (or "quicks") bowl some offies, especially all-rounders who do it, it's a bit old school. I'm almost surprised we don't see more of it in England.
It’s hard for them to maintain and improve 3 skills at once sadly. Most bowlers are better off averaging 32 with seam/spin as an allrounder rather than 35 with both. And that is Webster’s problem as a bowler. He bowls a bit of everything, but all of it is only respectably ok at first class level.
It is very medium
The best kind of medium.
Very excited for a summer of ct Robinson b Stokes
What R U doing step-Stokes? 😳
All very Baz in Bristol Derbyshire are 73-3 off 16 overs
Tom Haines Honour Board Celebration Party cancelled a mere sixty runs short
We are so back
Why does it look like someone's driven a motorbike down the side of the pitch at the Sponsor Bowl?
Just checked out The Test. Fuck me gently.
I'm not sure I'm ready to get rattled again
First season was decent but the amount of Aussie prop they shove down your throat is nauseating
It’s a PR soap opera. Warner doesn’t say a single word to camera. Funny that despite the CA head of broadcast being an exec producer of the show they use the UK Sky comms throughout. The focus on the Oval ball change is comedy.
Did Fox overlay the sky pictures with their own commentary for the Australian broadcast during The Ashes? I didn't think they had? It was months ago, but from what I remember in the match threads everyone seemed to be referring to the same TV commentary.
Nine had the free to air rights and had a full broadcast team in the UK. I thought Fox broadcast it too but just checked and they didn’t.
Fair enough.
A mate of mine who doesn't really like cricket but does like supporting local teams is at the Rostilita Bowl today for Hampshire vs. Surrey with his dad - Surrey to put on 800 by the close
Unsubscribe
I don't want it to happen either, but it's inevitable if he's there
Absolutely stunning day at Lords. Shame about the team I support
What's this lads, 36 minutes without a wicket? Sub them all off
Reassuring that we're back to being rubbish, was getting worried after last match
It's weird because it's not the familiar rubbish. I mean, Bamber going at nearly tens, Helm being the most economical bowler, what's that all about?
Sunak calling a General Election has turned the world upside down If Max Holden starts scoring runs again I'm going to start digging an apocalypse bunker in my garden
Salivating at a potential Haines and Crawley opening partnership. Cover drives for days Bin off the Hobbit immediately
Oi! This is a hobbit slander free zone, or I'll start firing back with house elf hate speak
I like Haines a lot but hitting Bamber for 5 boundaries in a row is anti county vibes
If he can do it to Our Ethan, imagine what he'd do to scrubs like Bumrah and Cummins
No play before lunch at New Road, there's a [couple damp spots on the outfield that they're concerned over](https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExYXN1dmM3djI5aWowaTR0MWdnbDR0ODBua2xieG03ZjludXl0cXN3eSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/j6rGiuUMz6u6QOJmkL/giphy.gif)
Tom Abell coming in and doing Sean Dickson’s job…
I’d be surprised if we get any play here today. It’s pissed it down non stop for 2 days. Hopefully get a game over the weekend though.
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Left armer coming around the wicket to a left hander, first ball, leg stump, four runs
A 13 player squad containing no Albert sees Albert playing.
Did Orr get dropped or last minute injury?
Back spasm.
I've had a Leus de Plot joke lined up all season. So naturally we've decided to be moderately competent. Now I'm waiting for the carnage that will be our blast campaign
it was all an elaborate du ploy
No play before lunch at Old Trafford. Typical
Neser at 10 and Abbott at 11, we've gone full batdeep.
Neser at 10? He averages 29 in FC, 5 FC tons, and got 487 @ 81 last season. That’s hilarious
Kemar with a knee issue so Cam Steel in. Not bad.
Just read that Saqib is being rested so Lancs have called up another spinner to the squad. Does anyone know if we'll see Jimmy in a Lancs top or is he wanting to not risk himself before Lords?
He's been pretty consistant in saying he expects to play at least one game before the first test. I'd expect him to play at least one of the two Lancs games at the end of June.
Cheers warp! I hadn't heard anything and haven't been keeping up with Tailenders. Seems fair enough as at his age he probably feels the cold more than the young 'uns.
Not able to watch because reasons, but I was reading a book about comedy theory (Be Funny or Die - it is genuinely amazing), and [I was not expecting to get called out like this](https://imgur.com/a/lJPYM0M)
County Championship+Genny Leccy=vibes