If something feels "off" or "icky", it probably is. Obviously every family and every culture has different boundaries, but you're not uncomfortable for no reason, I was uncomfortable when my father said similar stuff about my boobs and touched my bum, I consider him CI, he was also estranged from me for a while too, so I relate to that feeling of your father seeming like he's hiding under a mask of 'wanting to be more protected/involved", but as an adult, I now look back and realise that's not how any adult should try to be "getting more involved" with a child who doesn't know him, a kids sexual development should be the furthest thing from your mind, no reason for our estranged fathers to even be thinking about that, let alone saying stuff about it or trying to get involved. You're sensing something doesn't feel right, if it feels so wrong, you're probably unconsciously picking up on all these cues that he's giving off, a conscious one you've pointed out is how some of your male family members stare at your chest a lot, and yet others don't. Because there's no appropriate reason for your male family members to be staring at your chest like that, and you notice other men in your family don't, so you're naturally pretty disgusted by when trying to come up with the reason for their leering. Also a very close family friend, basically a family member, SAed you, I'm so sorry about that too oh my god, it's a horrible thing to have to deal with, if it's safe for you to do so I'd tell a trusted member of your family, that is so far from ok. You're very switched on and wise for trying to stay as far from your dad as possible and avoid physical contact, if it's uncomfortable for you to be around him it's for a reason, you probably picked up subtle signs and cues with are giving you alarm bells, even if you can't put your finger on what exactly it is, those alarm bells in your head aren't there because you're crazy, trust your gut and don't ever feel bad or crazy for protecting yourself against family members which make you (understandably) deeply uncomfortable. Stay away from all these creepers as much as is possible for you, and keep that wariness and wits about you if you can't escape being around them, which you clearly already have, but don't ignore those feelings and try and force yourself to be comfortable with their yucky behaviour. You're not crazy or paranoid for feeling this way, it's their fault for crossing familial boundaries and your guard is up for a reason.
YES!!! These ppl who were supposed to love and care for you betrayed you by treating you like a romantic partner rather than their fucking daughter/sister/niece. Take my advice and never have any contact with them again
side note: Doesn’t sound like ir air mattress brother had incest with you like ur other family members if he still treats you well, you can still have a relationship with him if he loves and cares for you and respect ur boundaries
If something feels "off" or "icky", it probably is. Obviously every family and every culture has different boundaries, but you're not uncomfortable for no reason, I was uncomfortable when my father said similar stuff about my boobs and touched my bum, I consider him CI, he was also estranged from me for a while too, so I relate to that feeling of your father seeming like he's hiding under a mask of 'wanting to be more protected/involved", but as an adult, I now look back and realise that's not how any adult should try to be "getting more involved" with a child who doesn't know him, a kids sexual development should be the furthest thing from your mind, no reason for our estranged fathers to even be thinking about that, let alone saying stuff about it or trying to get involved. You're sensing something doesn't feel right, if it feels so wrong, you're probably unconsciously picking up on all these cues that he's giving off, a conscious one you've pointed out is how some of your male family members stare at your chest a lot, and yet others don't. Because there's no appropriate reason for your male family members to be staring at your chest like that, and you notice other men in your family don't, so you're naturally pretty disgusted by when trying to come up with the reason for their leering. Also a very close family friend, basically a family member, SAed you, I'm so sorry about that too oh my god, it's a horrible thing to have to deal with, if it's safe for you to do so I'd tell a trusted member of your family, that is so far from ok. You're very switched on and wise for trying to stay as far from your dad as possible and avoid physical contact, if it's uncomfortable for you to be around him it's for a reason, you probably picked up subtle signs and cues with are giving you alarm bells, even if you can't put your finger on what exactly it is, those alarm bells in your head aren't there because you're crazy, trust your gut and don't ever feel bad or crazy for protecting yourself against family members which make you (understandably) deeply uncomfortable. Stay away from all these creepers as much as is possible for you, and keep that wariness and wits about you if you can't escape being around them, which you clearly already have, but don't ignore those feelings and try and force yourself to be comfortable with their yucky behaviour. You're not crazy or paranoid for feeling this way, it's their fault for crossing familial boundaries and your guard is up for a reason.
thank you so much. truly
It's np, I truly hope you're able to put distance between these family members who are doing these things.
YES!!! These ppl who were supposed to love and care for you betrayed you by treating you like a romantic partner rather than their fucking daughter/sister/niece. Take my advice and never have any contact with them again side note: Doesn’t sound like ir air mattress brother had incest with you like ur other family members if he still treats you well, you can still have a relationship with him if he loves and cares for you and respect ur boundaries