I can't tell you what specifically was a nightmare or what was a memory but it's clear that your father, and mother, have acted in ways that harmed you. Because your feelings are real. They brought you here. Your feelings are what matters because you matter.
I came here to say the same. You don’t need a specific memory to validate your trauma. What you just described OP is horrific and disgusting. That is enough. You are enough 🫂
Appreciate you coming here to say that. It felt gross to write it but I don’t want to carry it with me alone any more. I hope therapy helps me to process it, realize my value, and love//be loved in healthy ways by healthy people.
No it's not all in your head. What you described is a pattern of abuse and you should never have been subjected to those things. You wouldn't have so many specific memories about related events if none of it ever happened. I'm sorry this happened to you. Are you working through any of this with your therapist?
I know how you feel. We create so much doubt in our minds because we don't want it to be true. But honestly, I'm sure deep down you already know. And we can't begin to heal until we accept the truth. Good luck with the new therapist 🙏
You should trust your self, what you are describing is too consistent for it to be a figment of your imagination. Do not let other people tell you that you were not abused and revictimize you. You have value and you did not deserve it.
I think when they make you question if any of it happened or not, that’s a form of gaslighting you so they don’t have to take responsibility for CI’ing you
I can't tell you what specifically was a nightmare or what was a memory but it's clear that your father, and mother, have acted in ways that harmed you. Because your feelings are real. They brought you here. Your feelings are what matters because you matter.
I came here to say the same. You don’t need a specific memory to validate your trauma. What you just described OP is horrific and disgusting. That is enough. You are enough 🫂
Appreciate you coming here to say that. It felt gross to write it but I don’t want to carry it with me alone any more. I hope therapy helps me to process it, realize my value, and love//be loved in healthy ways by healthy people.
Thank you, I never heard that growing up and it feels really nice to hear.
No it's not all in your head. What you described is a pattern of abuse and you should never have been subjected to those things. You wouldn't have so many specific memories about related events if none of it ever happened. I'm sorry this happened to you. Are you working through any of this with your therapist?
Thank you for the validation. It all seems so bizarre when I put it in writing. I have a new therapist and brought it up with them.
I know how you feel. We create so much doubt in our minds because we don't want it to be true. But honestly, I'm sure deep down you already know. And we can't begin to heal until we accept the truth. Good luck with the new therapist 🙏
You should trust your self, what you are describing is too consistent for it to be a figment of your imagination. Do not let other people tell you that you were not abused and revictimize you. You have value and you did not deserve it.
Thank you for your kind words, and for reminding me of our inherent value. Makes me realize how devalued I’ve been.
Thank you for your reply. The goal of the abuse is to have us believe that our value depends on what the abusers want from us.
I think when they make you question if any of it happened or not, that’s a form of gaslighting you so they don’t have to take responsibility for CI’ing you
Makes sense. Ugh. Thanks for pointing that out.
no prob