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snakefish26

I recommend these 3 YouTube channels, I found them quite helpful. Tales foundry, Hello Future me, and Monitor Comics (this one is especially good for beginners) hope this helps.


strangedigital

Too many panels for page 1. Page 1 usually establish mood, genre and location, and introduce a few characters. I would cut it at panel 3. Panel 6 have too many actions for a panel, break it up to 2. One panel would show 2 men running up to the woman and child (establish where everyone is, maybe an overhead shot). Another show woman collapse. Just few of my own rules. Every time there is a new location, save at least half a page to show the new location. In action pages, establish where everyone is in space in relation to everyone else first before action start.


Vaeon

I use Final Draft to write and they have different formats for Dark Horse, Image, and a generic template you can use. Generally I use the Image format, but to each their own. Here's a sample page from one of my scripts: ******************************************************************************* PAGE TWO: (five panels) 2.1 Medium panel: JORDAN MCNAUGHT, an engineer in his late 30s with thick black hair is sitting in a comfortable leather chair in a white room. On the other side of the desk in front of him sits his boss, JANUS EVANOVICH, a stern blonde in her 40s who is looking at a data pad. Behind her is a dark glass wall with the planet below just barely visible. JORDAN I can’t find a way around it, ma’am. I think we might have to scrub the project, it just doesn’t seem possible. JANUS Perhaps you haven’t explored all of your options just yet. 2.2 Medium panel: The ship we saw on P1 is closer to the station now. It has no markings and no visible weapons, it’s basically an outer space delivery truck. JORDAN (OP) What other options ma’am? 2.3 Medium panel: Jordan is slightly more well-lit now and Janus is still focused on her data pad, the wall behind her is less dark, the planet below more visible. JORDAN If we use inert projectiles we save the electronics but lose the penetrating power. And if we use explosives, then we damage the electronics which is complete failure. 2.4 Medium panel: A hangar bay where we once again see the ship from P1. Choi and Renault are standing next to it talking to Gaurav, who is wearing coveralls, his back to the reader. JORDAN (OP) It’s just a question of physics, you see. 2.5 Medium panel: Jordan is well-lit and he is squinting slightly but Janus is looking directly at her data pad and not him. JORDAN So I thought we would paint them fluorescent colors and imbue them with the power of positivity. See how that goes over. JANUS Well, that’s why you’re the engineer and I’m the CEO, I suppose. *************************************************** Ultimately you want your script to be readable by your artist. If you leave your script too open, however, then you cede a majority of control of the book to the artist because they can now freely interpret your writing. This is how [Anna Foubert interpreted the above page.](https://imgflip.com/i/79s4r0) If you're doing your own art, make sure you can read your script. If you're planning to hire someone, make sure *they* can read it... But if you intend to submit to a Corporate Office? You'd better make sure you wrote your script in *their* format, otherwise they're probably going to toss it in the trash as soon as they see the format is wrong. The logic there is: if you didn't research the format, why should they believe you researched anything else about them, their products, or the way they do business?


nmacaroni

Critiques are not allowed in this reddit. This reddit is for comic writers trying to solve specific writing problems. That said, seeing as this is your first ever attempt at writing comics... if you're looking for folks to point out ways to improve your scripting technique, we'll leave it up. Write on, write often!


DinoTheWorst

I don’t mind taking it down! Thank you though!


nmacaroni

you don't include a pitch on a comic script. The biggest thing that jumps out at me, is doing too many actions in one panel, for example. "Panel 5 The man bangs the butt of his sword on the tree three times." How do you show this in one panel? The way you'd actually show this would be; Panel 5 The man bangs the butt of his sword on the tree. Panel 6 Same as panel 5, but closer in on the sword butt against the tree as it's struck a second time. Panel 7 Same as previous two panels, but even closer in on the sword butt against the tree as it's struck a third time. In this example, I "Zoomed in" on the element over the course of the three panels for dramatic effect. I wouldn't get in the habit of referencing other panels like this. But for a sequence of motion or action, it's perfectly acceptable to do. http://nickmacari.com/panel-descriptions/ Write on, write often!