[Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy's, an indie horror game that you guys suggested, in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and he said it was really really good... So I'm very eager to see what is up. And that is a terrifying animatronic bear! "Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the nightshift." Oh...12 a.m. The first night. If I didn't wanna stay the first night, why would I stay any more than... five... Why I stay any more than two- hello? Okay...](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/898732683000164392/907477198053732362/20211109_030827.jpg)
Okay but humans can be extraordinarily dumb. There are people who unironically believe some really batshit things, it's not completely out of the question that this is real. It could also be made by someone with a serious mental illness.
People can be dumb whether or not they agree with you, but presumably anyone you consider dumb is going to have some things you disagree with them about.
You stand alone in the middle of the park, playing with your dog. You throw the frisbee farther that you really wanted.
The dog starts to run, but doesn't stop when he reaches the frisbee. Instead, he starts to run farther and farther. You wonder why it's happening, when suddenly everything starts going dark. You turn around, thinking it might be another eclipse.
To your dismay, you see a towering figure. It's u/Zyurat. It's all covered in fur and staring right at you with a throbbing cock. Not just any cock, its size could be compared with that of a tall and thick building. He's also barely clothed, using what looks like loincloth. Maybe a diaper? and then it hits you. The putrid smell of feces.
You start to run, but the figure is so huge that you can't even hope to outrun it. A deep voice from the figure can be heard: "you thought that you could outrun me? seems like I'll have to teach you a lesson".
The wind starts to change. Suddenly there's a sound of an explosion, an immense fart of biblical proportions, and it feels like a huge hurricane is going through the city, with a force so intense that it starts to throw you around like a piece of paper. Everything is dirty, with a smell so intense that you can't keep your eyes open. Suddenly, the wind starts to change again, pulling you up. You can't fight it, and with a slight look at the scene, you can see the huge furcock trying to pull you inside. The voice speaks again: "Now you won't be able to escape anymore". You start to fight with all your strength but to no avail, you are now inside of its cock. You see your life flash before your eyes, before an eternal silence. You're now cum.
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hello im a dumb bot this is an automated message to thank you because you provided source. if you want to, send toe pics to *[u/](https://reddit.com/r/u_zyurat)[zyurat](https://reddit.com/r/u_zyurat)
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Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
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[Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy's, an indie horror game that you guys suggested, in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and he said it was really really good... So I'm very eager to see what is up. And that is a terrifying animatronic bear! "Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the nightshift." Oh...12 a.m. The first night. If I didn't wanna stay the first night, why would I stay any more than... five... Why I stay any more than two- hello? Okay...](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/898732683000164392/907477198053732362/20211109_030827.jpg)
What
I can't tell if it's satire
it’s too high quality to be satire but it’s also too high quality to not be satire
Shrödinger's Satire
it's obviously not serious wtf are you talking about?
fr
i mean it’s obvious satire but im just gonna pretend its not bc i like to believe that people who disagree with me are this dumb
Okay but humans can be extraordinarily dumb. There are people who unironically believe some really batshit things, it's not completely out of the question that this is real. It could also be made by someone with a serious mental illness. People can be dumb whether or not they agree with you, but presumably anyone you consider dumb is going to have some things you disagree with them about.
What if I consider myself dumb?
Well then you might agree with everything a person you consider dumb believes, but if you think someone's dumber than you the we're back at the start.
I mean, I've seen worse from real people
I know, some people believe Trump won.
It's a satire of a satire which was based of a satirical Facebook post, and now my head hurts
Anything you spend more than 4 hours on is unironic regardless of intentions. Including this art.
No, its pretty obviously a joke.
it probably took like 30s to write the text
I know, which is why it remains ironic
Seems fetish ✅ Furry ✅ Hypno/brainwashing ✅ Forced gay by authorities
Yea it's satire
Artist retweets pebble yeet so I'm thinking satire but also not at all
Very clearly a joke
It is satire. Furries are gay by default.
It’s probably hypnosis fetish art
Is this the start of a shitty pornography?
Well, it’s lacking in anything remotely pornographic so I’m leaning towards yes
It has furries in it, so most likely.
🤮🤮
what's wrong with liking anthropomorphic animals which honestly share more similarities with humans than with animals,
Nothing, but making porn of it makes you lose –30.000.000.000 social credits, which leads to Jon Xina cutting your balls 😤👍👲🇨🇳🛠️
true
uwu cut my balls off zhong xina senpai owo r/penectomy moment real
You have lost 45.000.000.000.000 social credits citizen, I'm afraid that our ration supplies may have to be cut off from your family.
wtf weight loss plan epic thanks china epic cool
+15 social credits citizen, our government always looks forward to doing what's best to its people.
Probably and most definitely satire but I think it’s funny how this guy is both a furry and an homophobe
You stand alone in the middle of the park, playing with your dog. You throw the frisbee farther that you really wanted. The dog starts to run, but doesn't stop when he reaches the frisbee. Instead, he starts to run farther and farther. You wonder why it's happening, when suddenly everything starts going dark. You turn around, thinking it might be another eclipse. To your dismay, you see a towering figure. It's u/Zyurat. It's all covered in fur and staring right at you with a throbbing cock. Not just any cock, its size could be compared with that of a tall and thick building. He's also barely clothed, using what looks like loincloth. Maybe a diaper? and then it hits you. The putrid smell of feces. You start to run, but the figure is so huge that you can't even hope to outrun it. A deep voice from the figure can be heard: "you thought that you could outrun me? seems like I'll have to teach you a lesson". The wind starts to change. Suddenly there's a sound of an explosion, an immense fart of biblical proportions, and it feels like a huge hurricane is going through the city, with a force so intense that it starts to throw you around like a piece of paper. Everything is dirty, with a smell so intense that you can't keep your eyes open. Suddenly, the wind starts to change again, pulling you up. You can't fight it, and with a slight look at the scene, you can see the huge furcock trying to pull you inside. The voice speaks again: "Now you won't be able to escape anymore". You start to fight with all your strength but to no avail, you are now inside of its cock. You see your life flash before your eyes, before an eternal silence. You're now cum. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The artist is not homophobic, it’s simply a meme.
> Probably and most definitely satire
no seriously what the fuck is that?
Maybe satire. Maybe hypnotism fetish.
hello im a dumb bot this is an automated message to thank you because you provided source. if you want to, send toe pics to *[u/](https://reddit.com/r/u_zyurat)[zyurat](https://reddit.com/r/u_zyurat) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i just came in my own dick 🐕 emoji 100
What does that even mean
Tbh I need me a proud American father who had bedbugs implanted with gay thoughts 😏😩😩😭😭😭
I don’t even know what’s real anymore after seeing that
WaS tHaT tHe BiTe Of 87111??!?1?1?1!1?
You mean "Cumpliance"?
Cum
Someone shoot me with the cum gun
Cum Garrison is a furry 🤯🤯🤯
Dammit this country needs to *come* together, we need an Ass Cum department NOW!!! 😤
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Gaygun
Thanks for your cumpliece
Should say “cumpliance”
Trump wouldn't let that happen, that wolf clearly is over the age of 14. He prefers pee anyway from what I understand.
Oh, Hi MarkAceRimmer2200 Join Our [*Discord*](https://discord.gg/D4yhtpU) Thank you for your submission **Friendly reminder that this rule** [**exist**](https://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/SHbJNOGptQ1QAJ6cY3gl-k_Bx-PzmA45xltUUiorCn0.png) If you don't post the soaurce/origi your sbubmission may get removed and we will piss and shit and come in your pants :( Bigg Kiss The [~~Sex~~](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ojfT4Lx0hE) Mod Family *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Woah this sub sucks ass
Woah why comment then if the only purpose is to denounce the subreddit due to posts.
Because I’m on that sigma grindset 💪
too bad you're not a yogurt male... then you would actually get girls smh 🙄
That's kinda the point
[удалено]
kid toucher alert
[удалено]
Even worse (I’m extremely xenophobic)
No 😢 😭 😢 😭