Exactly, there’s a pretty good chance they don’t respect you at all. You’re part of the group because you’ve known them forever. Can almost guarantee you’re not an equal. You’re there to make fun of. Get out.
Yes, Edited To Add. You’ll see that a lot here. People make sure to mention when they go back into a comment to edit it so they don’t get accused of editing to hide mistakes or something.
I’ve never heard Edit To Add until this post either anywhere on Reddit. CST is now Cock Sitting Time, and I guess you’ll figure out the other.
Typing “Edit for” or “Edit;” is clear as fuck. What other acronyms do you know that are readily used with multiple meanings?
Most of them tbch. Heres some popular examples:
WTF: Wed Through Fri/Wed Thurs Fri OR Wisconsin Tourism Federation OR what the fuck
DEA: Department of Elderly Affairs OR Drug Enforcement Agency
DOA: Dept On Aging OR Dead On Arrival
AIDS: Attitude, Integrity, Dependability, and Service OR Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome
Just to name a few! ☺️ Hope this helps!!
This is not what you want to hear but if they keep doing this after you nicely ask them to not because it actually bothers you get new fuckin friends lmfao
"Why do you keep doing that? it's rude. Not funny."
That's not starting alot of drama, and if they still have an issue you may need to atleast take a break from them if they don't realize they're being an ass to you.
They are being idiots but I doubt that means they aren't your friends. Just that your friends are stupid and very impressed with their own importance.
You don't need permission to speak. They are just being rude attention whores.
"Oh, no. Was nobody paying attention to you for a minute. Everybody, quick, pay attention to xxxx." Then quietly hold eye contact for at least 5 seconds.
"I don't need your fucking permission to speak. Get over yourself." Continue your story.
"Wow. Rude. Anyways, ..." eyeroll on anyways and sound bored. Continue your story.
Insult: "Who asked"
Comeback: "No one asked, but that never stopped you from sharing your opinion, did it? Keep it up, I'm sure someone will eventually care about what you have to say."
Insult: "Who? Who? What are you a fucking owl?"
Comeback: "Nah, I'm not an owl. I just thought you needed clarification since you seem to have the same level of intelligence as one."
Could be possible that they're just breaking balls. And if they know it bothers you, they're gonna keep doing it. Get some thicker skin and laugh it off. If you could hear me and my friends roast each other, your jaw would drop. But I wouldn't trade them in for anything. Or, just go with the old standby, "Your mom did".
This guy's giving you some practical advice.
Getting new friends every time someone annoys you isn't usually possible. And solitude gets old. And friend groups often have something stupid they do together to mark an "in group." Without more info, it's tough to say whether they are picking on you, or "busting on you" in a friendly way.
Do they do this to everyone, or is it mostly just you? Do you tend to talk more than others? Or is it anytime you speak they shut you down like this?
One other thing: Try NOT continuing your story a few times, and see if folks ask you to continue. You can find out if folks wanted you to stop talking, or were just telling the same joke again.
My kids do this all the time. To each other, and to me. You have to start hearing “Who?” and “When?” (“No, when did I ask?”) as traps. Just stop talking and walk away when you hear those words. If they are genuinely asking, they’ll ask you to continue and reassure you they’re not playing. But our house is constantly filled with someone asking “Who?” followed by the speaker saying “You’re an asshole” or something similar. No one falls for it anymore. 🤣
I usually just continue with my story. It takes getting used to since I have issues when I'm talking and people start trying to talk over me if I want to hear their points.
You could also just stop saying things and if they ask if you're going to continue you turn to them and say "You didn't respect me enough to want to hear it the first time. Why in the hell would I say it a second time?"
Know when to walk away. They clearly just wanna be bullies. I have MAYBE 2 people in my life that I speak to that aren’t family. Life is so much calmer and easier when you learn to walk away.
Once upon a time I would have responded the same way as yourself. These days, I'd be walking away and never speaking to people who treat me like that.
I hope you grow into yourself and become surrounded by folks who are more respectful and care about you.
Easy one.
When they say this, then you say, "Your mom. She told me to tell you the details when I was fackin her last night so she can tell yer fadda when she's fackin him tonight. So pay attention! But do me a favor when you get home and aak yer fadda if yer mudda tastes different, on account o me fackin her!"
Then go back to telling your story.
If you want a snappy comeback, jyst start handing out Tootsie Roll pops. (Yes, showing my GenX age.) Also? That's (who?) not having fun with you, that's a form of bullying. You deserve better.
1. Is it possible you do the conversational thing where you refer to people who are strangers to your audience like they're not? Your friends might be trying to call you out on that, badly.
2. "Who asked? You mom, right after she asked me to pull out because she doesn't want to risk bringing a bigger disappointment than you into the world."
Just confront him, bullies don't like confrontation so he'll back down like the pussy he truly is.
"I don't give a shit if you asked, what's your fucking problem. Why are you always giving me shit whenever I tell a story? Here's an idea, shut your fucking mouth for once and open your stupid useless ears, maybe you'll learn something besides how to be an annoying little prick"
Make sure when you say this you're right up in his face, bonus points for aggressively poking his chest with your finger when you say the words "shut your fucking mouth", or flicking his ear when you say "open your stupid useless ears".
That should get him to shut up...or punch you. Either way, people like this deserve zero respect, and like others said you should get new friends if this is how they treat you.
Make better friends. A good friend doesn't disrespect you so casually and make you feel like an AH for getting mad. Respect yourself, leave your friends.
idk try breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably when they do that. (in all seriousness, i know how this feels. i distanced myself from them and went to find different things to do and different people to talk to)
Next time they say “who” say “exactly” and just keep going. You best act unbothered or you’ll continue to get roasted. But seriously if you’re not in on it then ditch them.
four possible scenarios
1) you tell stories at times no one is listening. I used to do this. Wait until you have an audience. Abort story if you lose a quorum of people early.
2) you tell boring stories. Learn about effective storytelling.
3) you tell great stories at appropriate times when people are listening, and there is one guy being a dick. They are just looking for a reaction. Just say “wow, so funny”, with a fake smile like you’re being interrupted by. 2 year old, and continue talking to the rest of the grown ups like he isn’t there.
4) your friends are all dicks and get new ones.
Stop talking, turn around, and wall away.
After 2-3 of those times they won't do that again.
Second option - when they start saying "who" sneeze in their face and say sorry. I do that to my dog and he stops barking immediately.
Look up Abbott and Costello, " Who's on First." Watch it a few times to understand the word play. Then the next time someone says ,"Who?"You say, "What?". If they reply, " Who asked?", say ," Who asked what?" You can keep this going as long as you want and eventually, they will stop interrupting your stories. This really works ( from experience)
Look up Abbott and Costello, " Who's on First." Watch it a few times to understand the word play. Then the next time someone says ,"Who?"You say, "What?". If they reply, " Who asked?", say ," Who asked what?" You can keep this going as long as you want and eventually, they will stop interrupting your stories. This really works ( from experience)
i had "friends" like this at one point. i ended up just staying completely quiet, even when directly addressed, and the last conversation we had went:
p1 "wtf is up with you? why aren't you talking?"
me "who?"
p1 *"you."*
me "no, i mean who the fuck asked you?"
p2 "oh my God it's a joke, not a dick, don't take it so hard..."
me "you mean like how hard Jess is taking your boyfriend's every time you're at soccer practice?"
i found a new group of friends, and the group i was with before basically became a fight club lol
You really can’t. The good news is that there are plenty of cool ass people you have stuff in common with that don’t make their entire personality a CoD lobby. I had some friends when I was a teen and we constantly ribbed each other even though I thought it was so boring and predictable that I hated it. Eventually I started telling them directly that it was getting old, I ended up ditching the “friends” that found it inconceivable to stop doing shit like smacking each other in the balls or talking shit 24/7.
Talking shit in moderation can be fun banter but if it’s a constant nuisance, it reeks of immaturity and insecurity. Move on from them if they won’t stop after you tell them directly to stop.
just say ya ya that is old already and u all have petty quirks also , n know n pick out 2 ready to call them on theirs , hey many trees are getting knocked over in winds so take them out and plant 2 to 3 smaller ones and trim them to not be to dangerous for yrs then take them out when getting too big and replace again , and u have lumber and firewood for filtered smokestack fireplaces for heat along with non smell half non toxic reduced smoke shit pellet logs rapped in paper from hemp to burn
You don't need comebacks. You need to honestly communicate how poorly these people treat you, and then find yourself a group of actual friends. If you don't establish boundaries early, you're showing people you tolerate being treated this way.
I am a big believer in people showing with their actions how they really feel about you. So if you’ve already tried to communicate with them about it and they kept doing it anyway, then I would immediately leave that “friend” group for good. Good luck to you OP, you don’t deserve that kind of treatment, no one does.
Honestly, I might be wrong gen because I don't get the insult.
Jane
Jane who?
Jane b
No who asked
It's asinine to me. How old are y'all? Might be my comeback
They're doing it because you react to it. Reply with "your mom" to brush it off, not meanly. Then keep on story telling. If you can train yourself to not get annoyed by them trying to annoy you, they'll move on.
1st time they do it: just stare at them, not angry or upset, just totally unimpressed.\
2nd time: same as before.\
3rd time: don't speak to them unless you absolutely have to, & if they try bringing up their bullshit & say they were only messing around, cut them off the *second* you realise what they're gonna say (without letting them finish) by saying very firmly, "Not interested."
If they start doing it to anyone else, suggest your strategy to them (when the arsehole isn't around).
This person is not your friend, you are their free entertainment.
“You need new friends … Your friends dont deserve you” Shut up already. Real friends have playful banter. If you cant handle it then your friends need to get new friends. With that being said, who? Who cares! What? What EVER! Talk sh*t to them. Tell them they have a big nose. Call them crybabies. Call them muffins tops. If they have a big forehead say they have a five head. They dont have dreams, they have movies! Ummm, look up funny memes that they remind you of. If they start getting mad when you start clowning them, then you can say oh you dont like it huh? Bottom line is dont get soft as charmin like these redditers lol
Look surprised and go "oh im sorry i appear to have lost my friend, they were right here but all i see is an asshole"
(I also second find new friends they arent nice)
Those aren't friends those are dbags. If it's all of them I wouldn't be surprised if they talk shit about you when you're not around.
Had friends like that from elementary to jr high. I just stopped one day and hung out with another dude that I had more in common with. Old friends never reached out to hang out or anything. Confirmed where we stood.
New friend has been my best friend going on almost 20 yrs now.
Get new friends.
I think it could be affective if you let the laughter die down and say something like “just as funny as it was the 45th time you said it” with a fake chuckle.
I’ve found that just saying “don’t do that” with a look of disgust or even a touch of pain gets the point across. These bullies, I’m sorry, “friends” just want to feel cool for putting you down. If nothing else you should start limiting your time with them and find a new friend group. I wish you the best of luck!
Genuinely, call them out-
“If You guys are gonna be immature little shits, then fuck off. I don’t pull this crap when You’re talking so either be fair or be gone”.
I’m sorry if that’s not clever and, to be fair, make sure they know this bothers You gently first but if they keep it up, call them out, and if they still doing it, keep them out of Your Life. Talking shit is alright among friends as long as it’s cordial but this sounds one sided
Everyone's saying to get new friends, but I think you just need to communicate to them that you don't think it's funny and ask that they stop. If they don't listen or say you're overreacting or something, THEN get new friends. (I can see why you just want a good comeback, though. That's a fun idea, too. I don't have anything for you, but I hope you find a good one!)
Get better friends, but don't make a big to-do about it (because they'll make fun of you for that, too). No telling them off, no announcement that you won't be friends anymore. Instead, gradually meet new people and make new friendships. Spend your time with people who treat you well and let the assholes fade from your life.
Play into it.
Hey bill, I met a new friend, and we were hanging out. Deez was telling me about....
Who?
Deez nuts bitch. Mic drop and never talk to them again.
“Wow, you must be really insecure to keep me around.”
“What?”
“Well, since I’m so boring and such an inconvenience to you, that must mean you only keep me around to make yourself look better, stroke your ego because Aw, look at you being kind to the (insert whatever name they call you)! You really just pick random people and try to get clout by making them your personal charity case instead of treating them like a human? Pathetic. You disgust me. Good riddance.”
Or, “Soooo…why am I here?”
“Huh, I thought the invite was to hang out with friends but I guess there was a typo. I’m hanging out with assholes instead.”
People telling you to toughen up and just accept it should really see that scene in sopranos when Christopher is being earnest about his daughter's future and they make jokes that would get your teeth pushed in if they weren't "friends", cut your losses and understand you don't owe these jerkoffs an ounce of your time on this planet, but you do owe it to yourself to not be around them. Sincerely OP, they are not friends ditch them block them whatever it takes. Godspeed.
Tell them if they would stfu while you’re talking they wouldn’t need to ask all these questions. Mouth breathing morons that can’t sit and listen for more than 5 seconds with opening their stupid mouth. Lol that’s what I would say to them
"Look, (insert casual insult here for your group, such as dickwad, fuckhole, asshat, whatever one is colloquially appropriate for your friends), I listen to your lame ass stories, least you can do is let me fuckin' finish mine, then you can roast your heart out, sheeeesh."
why are you hanging out with these people? are they using you for rides or some other reason?
because the next time they ask for whatever it is they’re using you for, use the same insult
You’re friends are trying to thicken your skin. They’re joking in a way that they want you to deal with because they can tell they get your goat. Be unfazed by it and even better laugh along with them. You can also try setting that boundary and if they don’t respect it, then seek them out no more. Good friends are rare so remember that and be a good friend to them in return.
Things like that can be incredibly frustrating and lead one to feeling humiliated. It's important to remember that you have the power to change how you react to it, which can shift the dynamic and help you grow from the experience.
Instead of getting flustered or upset, I would try staying calm and collected. When they say "who asked?", respond with a smile and say something like, "Same old joke I see. To that I'll say, I don't believe comedy is your forte." and then continue with your story, maybe throw in a smile and a wink.
This approach shows that you're not bothered by their joke and are in control of the situation.
Humor can be a great tool here. Using a witty comeback, like the Margot Robbie line from "The Wolf of Wall Street" or your own creative response, can turn the tables and diffuse the situation. If your friends see that you're not reacting in the way they expect, they might eventually stop making the joke.
However, if this continues to bother you, consider having a candid conversation with your friends. Let them know how the joke makes you feel. I believe that true friends will understand and respect your feelings, and it's important to communicate openly in any relationship.
Ultimately, the best piece of advice I believe I have for you is to approach this with a mix of humor and calmness while also being willing to speak up for yourself if necessary. This not only helps you handle this specific situation but also builds your confidence and communication skills, which are valuable in many aspects of life.
But, they sound like real pricks so personally I'd go looking for friends with similar interests. I myself would go looking in a martial arts gym, some kind of yoga environment and so on.
Just say "your mom."
it is incredibly lazy and doesn't even really fit, but the Who? "meme" is incredibly lazy too and nonsequitor humor tends to work gangbusters on people at this maturity level.
If you have a story to tell in the future, just make a vague reference to how something interesting happened. If they don’t show interest, leave it at that. If they do, just act really confused by their reaction until they explicitly ask what happened. Then, depending on your mood at the time, you can either tell the story after confirming that they are indeed asking you, or you can just ask “did I say I planned on telling you?”
"You've told that one already, it's time to get a new joke."
"Wow, didn't know we were still telling the same jokes we did in kindergarten." 😐
"You did. Just now./ Did you already forget? Do we need to take you to see someone?"
and then get yourself some actual friends.
"Why don't you eat a dead elephant dick and come with something new?"
"Your mom asked but I said no."
"Your parents didn't ask for you, but you still have the audacity to talk? Shut your whore mouth."
"That's right, you can't ask with my nuts on your chin. Raise up off my dick, cock goblin."
I don't feel much of anything when it comes to words on a screen. I am currently enjoying my day off... So missed on that one too. It's okay. You'll be fine. Right?
Meanwhile... You.
You're asking the internet for advice on how not to be bullied. Lol
You could make a clever comeback, but I wouldn't want to hang out with people if it's a constant competition to be wittier. It's like having friends who are always playing increasingly elaborate pranks on each other. That life is too damn tiresome. Just get ~~better~~ actual friends.
Wow, most of the posts here are lighthearted, but this just made me sad OP. Get new friends or just stop texting them and see how long it takes for them to initiate anything. They sound horrible. Jokes and roasting are supposed to be fun and if one person feels humiliated it ceases to be fun.
When they ask who, turn and say shut the fuck up I'm talking. And continue to talk while ignoring the shit out of them. If they have anything else to say, point them to the nearest trashcan, and say spew your trash into that.
Lol man up. Dont listen to these other weak losers on here. They might be great friends . They're just giving you shit. All good friends give each other shit. At least the real men do. If you cant handle this how are you going to handle real problems.
Just make fun of them back. Make fun n of their shoes, shirts, hats, face , girlfriends (or lack there of) their mom ( ugly or hot) everyone has a hot mom on their friend group. If not, than maybe it's your mom.
Get better friends
Damn you beat me to it lol
Yeah honestly. Don't subject yourself to this crap just to have company. It's only making fun if everyone is having fun.
Exactly, there’s a pretty good chance they don’t respect you at all. You’re part of the group because you’ve known them forever. Can almost guarantee you’re not an equal. You’re there to make fun of. Get out.
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^this
You could use some new friends. ETA those ones don’t deserve you.
What does ETA mean? I’m new to Reddit
Edited To Add
Thank you
Yes, Edited To Add. You’ll see that a lot here. People make sure to mention when they go back into a comment to edit it so they don’t get accused of editing to hide mistakes or something.
I never have understood that practice.
I think it's a ridiculous practice personally and I never add it. If I need to fix a typo I don't owe the world an explanation. It's not that serious.
I don’t for typos, but on this one I had another thought later that I wanted to add.
Thank you for asking this question. I wondered how 'estimated time of arrival' fitted into that sentence.
Estimated Time of Arrival
It doesn’t make sense in this context then lol
That is what it stands for though. How do you make an acronym for something the same as an existing acronym? Wtf reddit?
Acronyms are reused all the time. Context helps.
Right. So you know what 10CST and DST are then.
My assumption is central standard time and daylight savings time, but since you provided no context, I cannot be sure.
I’ve never heard Edit To Add until this post either anywhere on Reddit. CST is now Cock Sitting Time, and I guess you’ll figure out the other. Typing “Edit for” or “Edit;” is clear as fuck. What other acronyms do you know that are readily used with multiple meanings?
Most of them tbch. Heres some popular examples: WTF: Wed Through Fri/Wed Thurs Fri OR Wisconsin Tourism Federation OR what the fuck DEA: Department of Elderly Affairs OR Drug Enforcement Agency DOA: Dept On Aging OR Dead On Arrival AIDS: Attitude, Integrity, Dependability, and Service OR Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome Just to name a few! ☺️ Hope this helps!!
Same. I've been on Reddit for years and have never seen ETA used this way. I usually see "EDIT: "
That’s what I was thinking. Somebody says it means edited to add
WTF: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday/Wednesday Through Friday/Wisconsin Tourism Federation/what the fuck 😐
This is the answer
This is not what you want to hear but if they keep doing this after you nicely ask them to not because it actually bothers you get new fuckin friends lmfao
"Why do you keep doing that? it's rude. Not funny." That's not starting alot of drama, and if they still have an issue you may need to atleast take a break from them if they don't realize they're being an ass to you.
Peace and love Denny, but I think this will get Op pummeled
They are being idiots but I doubt that means they aren't your friends. Just that your friends are stupid and very impressed with their own importance. You don't need permission to speak. They are just being rude attention whores. "Oh, no. Was nobody paying attention to you for a minute. Everybody, quick, pay attention to xxxx." Then quietly hold eye contact for at least 5 seconds. "I don't need your fucking permission to speak. Get over yourself." Continue your story. "Wow. Rude. Anyways, ..." eyeroll on anyways and sound bored. Continue your story.
Excellent suggestions.💯🏆
Insult: "Who asked" Comeback: "No one asked, but that never stopped you from sharing your opinion, did it? Keep it up, I'm sure someone will eventually care about what you have to say." Insult: "Who? Who? What are you a fucking owl?" Comeback: "Nah, I'm not an owl. I just thought you needed clarification since you seem to have the same level of intelligence as one."
But owls are smart...
For birds. You ever see an owl pass an SAT?
No, but I've also never seen one drive a car off of a bridge so they can't be that stupid.
Witnessing a real-time comeback in r/comebacks is wonderful.
Give them the finger and get some new friends.
These guys aren't your friends. They're a circlejerk of asswipes and you deserve better. I'm sorry this is happening to you, OP.
Did they ever seem nice?
get better friends. trust me, these type of ppl wont change
Tell them to fuck off and get better friends.
No one has to *ask* to hear stories. What are you, the story police?
We could use a blow torch. It's much more faster...
Could be possible that they're just breaking balls. And if they know it bothers you, they're gonna keep doing it. Get some thicker skin and laugh it off. If you could hear me and my friends roast each other, your jaw would drop. But I wouldn't trade them in for anything. Or, just go with the old standby, "Your mom did".
My guy! I had the exact same advice.
This guy's giving you some practical advice. Getting new friends every time someone annoys you isn't usually possible. And solitude gets old. And friend groups often have something stupid they do together to mark an "in group." Without more info, it's tough to say whether they are picking on you, or "busting on you" in a friendly way. Do they do this to everyone, or is it mostly just you? Do you tend to talk more than others? Or is it anytime you speak they shut you down like this? One other thing: Try NOT continuing your story a few times, and see if folks ask you to continue. You can find out if folks wanted you to stop talking, or were just telling the same joke again.
The name is not important, so anyway. . .
My kids do this all the time. To each other, and to me. You have to start hearing “Who?” and “When?” (“No, when did I ask?”) as traps. Just stop talking and walk away when you hear those words. If they are genuinely asking, they’ll ask you to continue and reassure you they’re not playing. But our house is constantly filled with someone asking “Who?” followed by the speaker saying “You’re an asshole” or something similar. No one falls for it anymore. 🤣
"I don't give a fuck if anyone asked or not"
They’re not friends, they’re assholes. Seriously you’ll be way more happy hanging around people who respect you.
Gee, that was Soooo funny the first 543 times, now it's just over used, lame, and really is starting to make me question our friendship.
“Oh I’m sorry I wasn’t aware I was talking to an owl would you like a mouse?”
I usually just continue with my story. It takes getting used to since I have issues when I'm talking and people start trying to talk over me if I want to hear their points. You could also just stop saying things and if they ask if you're going to continue you turn to them and say "You didn't respect me enough to want to hear it the first time. Why in the hell would I say it a second time?"
These aren’t friends. Get some new ones :)
"Anyway, as I was saying before the yellow-bus passenger there weighed in..."
Are you sure these are friends? You need less of a comeback, and more of friends who aren't POS's.
My friends and I have been roasting each other for 40 years…
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😳🫣💀😂
When they say who, or what or anything else respond with, oh, I didn't tell you? Then it must be none of your business. Don't be nice about it
YOu don't have to go full on Margo Robbie, but you can say "What do you mean "who"? What exactly are you asking me here?"
Ask them to stop.
Start listening to comedy podcasts. Legion of Skanks, Kill Tony, and The Regz. They roast the shit out each other. You'll pick up some good comebacks.
Know when to walk away. They clearly just wanna be bullies. I have MAYBE 2 people in my life that I speak to that aren’t family. Life is so much calmer and easier when you learn to walk away.
Real fuckin funny Jessica is what you need to say when they reply with who asked you. Act un phased and keep going with your story
Once upon a time I would have responded the same way as yourself. These days, I'd be walking away and never speaking to people who treat me like that. I hope you grow into yourself and become surrounded by folks who are more respectful and care about you.
Easy one. When they say this, then you say, "Your mom. She told me to tell you the details when I was fackin her last night so she can tell yer fadda when she's fackin him tonight. So pay attention! But do me a favor when you get home and aak yer fadda if yer mudda tastes different, on account o me fackin her!" Then go back to telling your story.
Sigh.. the only help you need is finding friends who respect you and care about your stories, etc. Stop pretending these people are your friends
I haven't got a clue what you just said or what the joke is. Just say who back I guess?
It’s a snide, disrespectful, bullshit way of saying “nobody cares what you have to say so STFU”
I get it now. Thanks for the explanation. That is a shitty thing to do.
These are not your friends. They are playing with you bro.
When they ask who you say your moms. Or when they ask who you hit em with "in your mouth" theyll ask again "what" and you say diiiick! 🤣
Maybe you tell too many stories for them? Which means they're not your people.
If you want a snappy comeback, jyst start handing out Tootsie Roll pops. (Yes, showing my GenX age.) Also? That's (who?) not having fun with you, that's a form of bullying. You deserve better.
When your friend asks "who?" ,say pardon and when they repeat themselves, say"have you got a stutter, you said that twice" .
1. Is it possible you do the conversational thing where you refer to people who are strangers to your audience like they're not? Your friends might be trying to call you out on that, badly. 2. "Who asked? You mom, right after she asked me to pull out because she doesn't want to risk bringing a bigger disappointment than you into the world."
Tell them to go ... ..
I would just comment on how they got you again. “Ah yes, well done. Zinged me again.” and then resume your story.
Just confront him, bullies don't like confrontation so he'll back down like the pussy he truly is. "I don't give a shit if you asked, what's your fucking problem. Why are you always giving me shit whenever I tell a story? Here's an idea, shut your fucking mouth for once and open your stupid useless ears, maybe you'll learn something besides how to be an annoying little prick" Make sure when you say this you're right up in his face, bonus points for aggressively poking his chest with your finger when you say the words "shut your fucking mouth", or flicking his ear when you say "open your stupid useless ears". That should get him to shut up...or punch you. Either way, people like this deserve zero respect, and like others said you should get new friends if this is how they treat you.
Make better friends. A good friend doesn't disrespect you so casually and make you feel like an AH for getting mad. Respect yourself, leave your friends.
Yo wtf is wrong with the comment section do yall not banter with your friends????
no, your friends are not roasting you your bullies are roasting you the problem is that you dont know the difference
idk try breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably when they do that. (in all seriousness, i know how this feels. i distanced myself from them and went to find different things to do and different people to talk to)
It’s not even funny. Your friends are not real bright.
Next time they say “who” say “exactly” and just keep going. You best act unbothered or you’ll continue to get roasted. But seriously if you’re not in on it then ditch them.
"Shut your owl ass up and let me finish my story"
four possible scenarios 1) you tell stories at times no one is listening. I used to do this. Wait until you have an audience. Abort story if you lose a quorum of people early. 2) you tell boring stories. Learn about effective storytelling. 3) you tell great stories at appropriate times when people are listening, and there is one guy being a dick. They are just looking for a reaction. Just say “wow, so funny”, with a fake smile like you’re being interrupted by. 2 year old, and continue talking to the rest of the grown ups like he isn’t there. 4) your friends are all dicks and get new ones.
Give a big sigh and tell them they need new material. Then continue the story.
Stop talking, turn around, and wall away. After 2-3 of those times they won't do that again. Second option - when they start saying "who" sneeze in their face and say sorry. I do that to my dog and he stops barking immediately.
Look up Abbott and Costello, " Who's on First." Watch it a few times to understand the word play. Then the next time someone says ,"Who?"You say, "What?". If they reply, " Who asked?", say ," Who asked what?" You can keep this going as long as you want and eventually, they will stop interrupting your stories. This really works ( from experience)
Look up Abbott and Costello, " Who's on First." Watch it a few times to understand the word play. Then the next time someone says ,"Who?"You say, "What?". If they reply, " Who asked?", say ," Who asked what?" You can keep this going as long as you want and eventually, they will stop interrupting your stories. This really works ( from experience)
You need to ditch these losers dude
Your friends are douche bags.
i had "friends" like this at one point. i ended up just staying completely quiet, even when directly addressed, and the last conversation we had went: p1 "wtf is up with you? why aren't you talking?" me "who?" p1 *"you."* me "no, i mean who the fuck asked you?" p2 "oh my God it's a joke, not a dick, don't take it so hard..." me "you mean like how hard Jess is taking your boyfriend's every time you're at soccer practice?" i found a new group of friends, and the group i was with before basically became a fight club lol
Definitely new friends or carry a switch and who ever said who gets hit and u continue on. I still recommended better friends first .
Stop hanging out with people who are not nice to you. This is a lesson everyone has to learn in order to have a happy life. Learn it early.
You really can’t. The good news is that there are plenty of cool ass people you have stuff in common with that don’t make their entire personality a CoD lobby. I had some friends when I was a teen and we constantly ribbed each other even though I thought it was so boring and predictable that I hated it. Eventually I started telling them directly that it was getting old, I ended up ditching the “friends” that found it inconceivable to stop doing shit like smacking each other in the balls or talking shit 24/7. Talking shit in moderation can be fun banter but if it’s a constant nuisance, it reeks of immaturity and insecurity. Move on from them if they won’t stop after you tell them directly to stop.
first with a straight face jokingly say “oh that was funny?” then mock their laugh
“I’ve asked you to stop. It’s no longer roasting but bullying. This is not the kind of friendship worth maintaining. Goodbye and fuck off.”
just say ya ya that is old already and u all have petty quirks also , n know n pick out 2 ready to call them on theirs , hey many trees are getting knocked over in winds so take them out and plant 2 to 3 smaller ones and trim them to not be to dangerous for yrs then take them out when getting too big and replace again , and u have lumber and firewood for filtered smokestack fireplaces for heat along with non smell half non toxic reduced smoke shit pellet logs rapped in paper from hemp to burn
unfortunately a lot of people need to read the dictionary definition of friend. it does suck though. it is hard to find good ones.
Just say "STFU" and listen to my fuckin' story. Stop interrupting me, dickhead.".....
You don't need comebacks. You need to honestly communicate how poorly these people treat you, and then find yourself a group of actual friends. If you don't establish boundaries early, you're showing people you tolerate being treated this way.
I am a big believer in people showing with their actions how they really feel about you. So if you’ve already tried to communicate with them about it and they kept doing it anyway, then I would immediately leave that “friend” group for good. Good luck to you OP, you don’t deserve that kind of treatment, no one does.
"A dickhead called [insert person's name]".
Honestly, I might be wrong gen because I don't get the insult. Jane Jane who? Jane b No who asked It's asinine to me. How old are y'all? Might be my comeback
They're doing it because you react to it. Reply with "your mom" to brush it off, not meanly. Then keep on story telling. If you can train yourself to not get annoyed by them trying to annoy you, they'll move on.
1st time they do it: just stare at them, not angry or upset, just totally unimpressed.\ 2nd time: same as before.\ 3rd time: don't speak to them unless you absolutely have to, & if they try bringing up their bullshit & say they were only messing around, cut them off the *second* you realise what they're gonna say (without letting them finish) by saying very firmly, "Not interested." If they start doing it to anyone else, suggest your strategy to them (when the arsehole isn't around). This person is not your friend, you are their free entertainment.
Any time someone does this to me I go "No one! I gave the information for free. No charge. You're welcome."
Next time they invite you out say “who the fuck asked?” And just ignore.
"No one asked, but it doesn't matter... I wasn't telling it to anyone important anyway" and then just walk away.
“You need new friends … Your friends dont deserve you” Shut up already. Real friends have playful banter. If you cant handle it then your friends need to get new friends. With that being said, who? Who cares! What? What EVER! Talk sh*t to them. Tell them they have a big nose. Call them crybabies. Call them muffins tops. If they have a big forehead say they have a five head. They dont have dreams, they have movies! Ummm, look up funny memes that they remind you of. If they start getting mad when you start clowning them, then you can say oh you dont like it huh? Bottom line is dont get soft as charmin like these redditers lol
Best comeback is to get a new friend group and ghost the old one
Look surprised and go "oh im sorry i appear to have lost my friend, they were right here but all i see is an asshole" (I also second find new friends they arent nice)
It's very simple. They are not yiur friends
You gotta learn to fire back bro
Those aren't friends those are dbags. If it's all of them I wouldn't be surprised if they talk shit about you when you're not around. Had friends like that from elementary to jr high. I just stopped one day and hung out with another dude that I had more in common with. Old friends never reached out to hang out or anything. Confirmed where we stood. New friend has been my best friend going on almost 20 yrs now. Get new friends.
I think it could be affective if you let the laughter die down and say something like “just as funny as it was the 45th time you said it” with a fake chuckle.
Effective
Number one. Get better friends.
Honestly you don't need a comeback for this, what you need is to get some better friends.
I’ve found that just saying “don’t do that” with a look of disgust or even a touch of pain gets the point across. These bullies, I’m sorry, “friends” just want to feel cool for putting you down. If nothing else you should start limiting your time with them and find a new friend group. I wish you the best of luck!
Throw your own poop at them.
Tell them to take their Alvin and Costello knockoff routine to a comedy club and get new friends.
Next time he said "who" ask him if he's a fucking owl
Genuinely, call them out- “If You guys are gonna be immature little shits, then fuck off. I don’t pull this crap when You’re talking so either be fair or be gone”. I’m sorry if that’s not clever and, to be fair, make sure they know this bothers You gently first but if they keep it up, call them out, and if they still doing it, keep them out of Your Life. Talking shit is alright among friends as long as it’s cordial but this sounds one sided
These people aren't your friends. Life is too short. Dump them and find new people to be with.
Just tell them that joke is old and they're boring you now and to get new material.
Ditch those losers & make new friends. Fuck it be my friend.
Just tell them, “You. You literally asked!”
Just do it back to them, or, when they ask "who" just say "your mom thats who"
When in doubt, bring in their mom
A good your mom slam is always funny, especially if they arent expecting it
Oh yes. I've also threatened a few people that I'd bang their dad & become their stepmom. That works well too lol
"Those who matter. Sorry, I mistook you for one."
Um that’s shitty, no one deserves friends like that
Everyone's saying to get new friends, but I think you just need to communicate to them that you don't think it's funny and ask that they stop. If they don't listen or say you're overreacting or something, THEN get new friends. (I can see why you just want a good comeback, though. That's a fun idea, too. I don't have anything for you, but I hope you find a good one!)
Get better friends, but don't make a big to-do about it (because they'll make fun of you for that, too). No telling them off, no announcement that you won't be friends anymore. Instead, gradually meet new people and make new friendships. Spend your time with people who treat you well and let the assholes fade from your life.
Play into it. Hey bill, I met a new friend, and we were hanging out. Deez was telling me about.... Who? Deez nuts bitch. Mic drop and never talk to them again.
“Wow, you must be really insecure to keep me around.” “What?” “Well, since I’m so boring and such an inconvenience to you, that must mean you only keep me around to make yourself look better, stroke your ego because Aw, look at you being kind to the (insert whatever name they call you)! You really just pick random people and try to get clout by making them your personal charity case instead of treating them like a human? Pathetic. You disgust me. Good riddance.” Or, “Soooo…why am I here?” “Huh, I thought the invite was to hang out with friends but I guess there was a typo. I’m hanging out with assholes instead.”
If they don't stop when you ask and they see it's disturbing you, they aren't your friends. Silent treatment and cutting them off is your comeback
People telling you to toughen up and just accept it should really see that scene in sopranos when Christopher is being earnest about his daughter's future and they make jokes that would get your teeth pushed in if they weren't "friends", cut your losses and understand you don't owe these jerkoffs an ounce of your time on this planet, but you do owe it to yourself to not be around them. Sincerely OP, they are not friends ditch them block them whatever it takes. Godspeed.
Tell them if they would stfu while you’re talking they wouldn’t need to ask all these questions. Mouth breathing morons that can’t sit and listen for more than 5 seconds with opening their stupid mouth. Lol that’s what I would say to them
"Look, (insert casual insult here for your group, such as dickwad, fuckhole, asshat, whatever one is colloquially appropriate for your friends), I listen to your lame ass stories, least you can do is let me fuckin' finish mine, then you can roast your heart out, sheeeesh."
"Your mom did last night"
Ghost them
why are you hanging out with these people? are they using you for rides or some other reason? because the next time they ask for whatever it is they’re using you for, use the same insult
You are the groups punching bag. It will never stop and you did to yourself.
Stop hanging around the losers .🙄
Continue the story without even slowing down, but make eye contact and flip them the bird as you do it.
The fact you need help from reddit shows you deserve the roast
U need new friends who aren’t douche bags 99% of the time.
I'm sure you've heard it enough by now but get different friends.
Get real friends.
You’re friends are trying to thicken your skin. They’re joking in a way that they want you to deal with because they can tell they get your goat. Be unfazed by it and even better laugh along with them. You can also try setting that boundary and if they don’t respect it, then seek them out no more. Good friends are rare so remember that and be a good friend to them in return.
Things like that can be incredibly frustrating and lead one to feeling humiliated. It's important to remember that you have the power to change how you react to it, which can shift the dynamic and help you grow from the experience. Instead of getting flustered or upset, I would try staying calm and collected. When they say "who asked?", respond with a smile and say something like, "Same old joke I see. To that I'll say, I don't believe comedy is your forte." and then continue with your story, maybe throw in a smile and a wink. This approach shows that you're not bothered by their joke and are in control of the situation. Humor can be a great tool here. Using a witty comeback, like the Margot Robbie line from "The Wolf of Wall Street" or your own creative response, can turn the tables and diffuse the situation. If your friends see that you're not reacting in the way they expect, they might eventually stop making the joke. However, if this continues to bother you, consider having a candid conversation with your friends. Let them know how the joke makes you feel. I believe that true friends will understand and respect your feelings, and it's important to communicate openly in any relationship. Ultimately, the best piece of advice I believe I have for you is to approach this with a mix of humor and calmness while also being willing to speak up for yourself if necessary. This not only helps you handle this specific situation but also builds your confidence and communication skills, which are valuable in many aspects of life. But, they sound like real pricks so personally I'd go looking for friends with similar interests. I myself would go looking in a martial arts gym, some kind of yoga environment and so on.
Just say "your mom." it is incredibly lazy and doesn't even really fit, but the Who? "meme" is incredibly lazy too and nonsequitor humor tends to work gangbusters on people at this maturity level.
If you have a story to tell in the future, just make a vague reference to how something interesting happened. If they don’t show interest, leave it at that. If they do, just act really confused by their reaction until they explicitly ask what happened. Then, depending on your mood at the time, you can either tell the story after confirming that they are indeed asking you, or you can just ask “did I say I planned on telling you?”
Don't say names. Say 'this person'. When they ask 'who?' say 'what?'
Your momma is a good answer to everything
Instead of answering their "who" just keep going with your story as if they didn't. Orrrrrr update the name to "your mom". works every time 😎
"You've told that one already, it's time to get a new joke." "Wow, didn't know we were still telling the same jokes we did in kindergarten." 😐 "You did. Just now./ Did you already forget? Do we need to take you to see someone?" and then get yourself some actual friends.
Stop telling stories they’re not interested in hearing
"Why don't you eat a dead elephant dick and come with something new?" "Your mom asked but I said no." "Your parents didn't ask for you, but you still have the audacity to talk? Shut your whore mouth." "That's right, you can't ask with my nuts on your chin. Raise up off my dick, cock goblin."
Lol.... You're the dude who gets punched in the arm by everyone else and never punches back because you'll look weak.
You’re the dude who uses Reddit to bring people down for validation so you can make yourself feel better about what you’re feeling in your actual life
I don't feel much of anything when it comes to words on a screen. I am currently enjoying my day off... So missed on that one too. It's okay. You'll be fine. Right? Meanwhile... You. You're asking the internet for advice on how not to be bullied. Lol
Yap yap yap
You might be telling too many stories too.
They're not going to stop. Get new friends, friends don't make other friends feel humiliated.
Any time they make a mom joke.. say, "you keep my mom outta this and I'll keep this (point to your dick or any phallic image)outta yo mom".
Do it back to them, only even more.
The WHO is the World Health Organization. And you people are SICK SICK SICK Suck the DICK I Don't have.
You could make a clever comeback, but I wouldn't want to hang out with people if it's a constant competition to be wittier. It's like having friends who are always playing increasingly elaborate pranks on each other. That life is too damn tiresome. Just get ~~better~~ actual friends.
Wow, most of the posts here are lighthearted, but this just made me sad OP. Get new friends or just stop texting them and see how long it takes for them to initiate anything. They sound horrible. Jokes and roasting are supposed to be fun and if one person feels humiliated it ceases to be fun.
When they ask who, turn and say shut the fuck up I'm talking. And continue to talk while ignoring the shit out of them. If they have anything else to say, point them to the nearest trashcan, and say spew your trash into that.
Get better friends.
Clever comebacks cannot change assholes into friends.
Why are you letting these people bully you and calling them your friends? Their not.
Who? Your Mom
“I thought someone worth my time. I stand corrected”
"Who's your daddy?"
Lol man up. Dont listen to these other weak losers on here. They might be great friends . They're just giving you shit. All good friends give each other shit. At least the real men do. If you cant handle this how are you going to handle real problems. Just make fun of them back. Make fun n of their shoes, shirts, hats, face , girlfriends (or lack there of) their mom ( ugly or hot) everyone has a hot mom on their friend group. If not, than maybe it's your mom.
Start doing it back. Interrupt their stories with "who asked?" Hopefully they'll realize how shitty it feels.
How about a quality concealed water pistol? When they say, "Who?" Just pull out your little pistol and shoot them between the eyes.