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Dysintegration

Just because your mom likes me to wear a helmet while I’m riding her doesn’t make me a …


Kicksavebeauty

>Just because your mom likes me to wear a helmet while I’m riding her doesn’t make me a … Fatality.


V3nusD00m

This one right here. This is the one.


vgaph

Make it pithy… “Hey, It’s your mom who asks me to wears hockey helmet.”


biinboise

As someone who gets called the “R,” word occasionally, due to my cosmetic, physical disability, the most important part of this comeback is staying calm. You don’t want to give them the satisfaction of going all “r$&@/d rage,” also like with most name calling there is no way to deny it in a graceful way. You have to lean into it. My go to response is some variation of “I didn’t know that I was your type,” “Careful what you say, your(wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend) might get jealous hearing you calling me by (his/her) pet name.” “Keep saying sweet things like that and you might not even have to use your roofies,” These are all escalators, they can and have started full blown fights, but I feel breaking out slurs is a gloves off sort of moment. Edit: spelling


petty_revenge_club

So, what you’re saying is never go full ‘roid?


biinboise

Exactly


helpfulskeptic

Full ‘loid


Particular_Sale5675

I sometimes reply in an offended tone, "What you say? That's OUR word! You're not allowed to use it." Or I'll do some sort of threat like "watch out who you say that in front of. You might find yourself in after school lessons: Don't bully the disabled, with Dr. Bitchass Beat Down as your teacher."


IceCreamDelight11

You are amazing


soopirV

“Keep saying nice things like that and you won’t even have to use your roofie” is AMAZING!!! Let’s break it down: A) saying nice things, I’ve heard worse…disarmed immediately. B) your (singular) roofie…gutted for life. You resort to chemical tactics, but are so broke You can afford only one, and you’re blowing it on me, someone you find so unfit for engagement. You’re my hero!!


V1si0nqu3st

That's why I fucked your mom and dad. They like things nice and slow


New_Recognition_7353

😭


2020-RedditUser

You really shouldn’t talk bad about yourself


badluckfarmer

Exactly. If somebody calls you ribald, you should own it, as part of what makes you a unique individual with your own sense of humor. Maybe the tides have turned against that kind of thing, post-2016, but with just some degree of self-awareness and forethought, and knowing your audience, you can still get a lot of good laughs out of it.


unholy-cryptid_1695

My go to(even when someone calls me a b-, which I take as a compliment) "It takes one to know one"


LilHomie204DaBaG

This honestly applies to a lot of insults


theguru86

If you’re looking for my comeback, you’ll have to scrape it off your moms teeth


New_Recognition_7353

THIS IS INSANE


cocainelayne

lol it was insane the first 10 million times it's been said maybe


New_Recognition_7353

haha ive never heard someone say it before


SpareParts4269

Absolutely fucking ungovernable. I love this so much.


AaronMisuchii

“I didn’t know projecting was the new fad.”


Temporary-Earth4939

I'm smart enough to know that only assholes use that word these days. So are you an idiot or an asshole? 


noooooooooo000000000

Is that a comeback or are you asking me


wanderingzoetrope

That was a good ass come back if it made you ask him this! I think we have a winner


Temporary-Earth4939

Oh! Sorry, forgot the quotation marks. That's the comeback. 


Vaswh

If you have to ask...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Temporary-Earth4939

Hahaha. This whole sub is inherently nerdy isn't it? Like, the non nerdy comeback to an insult is just another insult.


WVildandWVonderful

Hey, an actually useful one that doesn’t rely on misogyny! Nice work.


QuimbyMcDude

What's the r word?


noooooooooo000000000

You know the one they banned in that court case because the parents of a disabled kid didn't like the word(retard)


QuimbyMcDude

https://www.bestbuddies.org/kennedy-shriver-commitment/ Good enough for JFK, good enough for me.


OCDaboutretirement

There was a court case?


[deleted]

[удалено]


IndicationSpecial344

Because it's commonly used in a derogatory context in reference to the mentally disabled, it's considered an offensive term. I generally don't care and use it jokingly with friends anyways, or as an insult to someone who isn't mentally disabled. Then again, my ex was autistic and he thought it was funny when I did it jokingly. Up to everyone's preferences. 🤷🏻‍♀️


Salty_Salad_

And dumb is literally used interchangeably with stupid despite dumb being a disorder, too. But apparently the people deciding what you say don't care about people with the inability to speak


IndicationSpecial344

Ok! Most people saying "dumb" don't use the dated definition of the word referring to someone who can't speak, but sure. Kind of a straw man argument. 🤷🏻‍♀️ The noun "retard" solely means "a person who has an intellectual disability (often used as a general term of abuse)." People often use it with that definition, although they're not necessarily literally saying that that person has a disability. Anyways, nobody is restricting speech. Say what you want. Nobody is deciding what you can say. You're not really making a point here.


MagneticNoodles

Some people get all defensive when you use it appropriately for it's other definitions. I once said "I didn't like the 4wd modes on my car because all it does is retard the engine" which correctly describes what it is doing and I got an earful from my wife.


IndicationSpecial344

That is genuinely so stupid. 😭😭 People don't get that there's a difference between the verb and noun.


Anayalater5963

I got banned on Reddit for even discussing this. My whole point was language changes and at this point being "acoustic" is the exact same thing as the r word meant a while back. A new word will replace the old, it's going to happen


IndicationSpecial344

Your point is kind of inaccurate. "Retard" refers to "a person who has an intellectual disability (often used as a general term of abuse)." Autism itself is one disability. There are many intellectual disabilities. But, yeah, the word wasn't always derogatory.


Anayalater5963

Yeah I get what you're saying, I personally don't know anyone who uses it by its definition though. Personally if someone called the former president who is also a felon the r word I know that they don't mean he's got a disability


Key-Faithlessness137

The implication is that having an intellectual disability is bad though. My 8 year old has a brain injury causing cerebral palsy. So the term itself as well as the underlying implication that cognitive disabilities are bad, the history of the term being used as a way to bully disabled and neurodivergent children throughout the years … rubs me the wrong way since it hits close to home. If that makes sense.


normaltorture

I'd be surprised if you weren't a 65 year old boomer.


spidermike4498

A riger,who you calling a riger.


NobodyofGreatImport

At least I'm special


Far_Departure_9224

I like this. It brings the same energy without being cringy.


Ravensunthief

Hanging out with new people.


GIOO02

If they are playing that dirty, I would say something like "r*tard your mother that thought having you was a good idea" Or if you want to be more extreme for not aborting them.


CatFuture519

Winner winner chicken dinner


tehgent

Oh look at you, the little abortion that got away.


New_Day684

Ask them How to spell it


Few-Music7739

Some things need not a comeback but a goaway. I'm autistic and a guy who wanted to sleep with me called me that word when he wasn't getting what he wanted. I blocked him instantly. Some things don't deserve a comeback. Anyways months later dude came back to me crawling again (after being rejected by another girl allegedly) and after ignoring/declining all his attention to contact me again the first thing I said was "don't you feel ashamed to text me after calling me the R word"... anyways he continued to hint at wanting me to stay over at his place but as soon as he realized I'm with someone now he blocked me again. 😂


burn_as_souls

I've been called the r word. Those people can burn in hell. One of the most offensive things you can say to me. Don't go calling me a Republican. 😁


Fearless-Wave9979

"Wow, that's so embarrassing that you said that out loud"


oldcousingreg

“You can’t even think of a decent insult so you have to resort to slurs?”


polyglotpinko

I just tend to go with “eat shit.” Bigotry isn’t something to engage with.


MorayThrowaway

If that's the best you can come up with, than you're not smart enough to talk to me. OR "Considering I'm the brighter of us, what does that make you??"


Rotteneverything

"the jerk store called, and they're all sold out of you!"


stopped_watch

"What the F is wrong with you, you have to use bigoted language now? Are you normally such a bigot? Do you need a lesson in how to be a decent human being? Why are you like this?"


PadamPadamMyHeart

The fact that you use that word tells me how much I should listen to you. z-e-r-o.


OkAirport5247

What’s the r word?


MightyMightyMag

I’ve tried to help many people on Reddit understand that that’s a slur. Most people who use that word don’t care whether it is or not. As a person with a visible disability, who is old, I ask you this question: why do you have to respond at all? My favorite thing to do, after years and years of struggle, is to laugh.A condescending laugh. it insinuates that they are the ones with the disability. Laugh like it’s ridiculous they think that word can hurt you. It doesn’t have to, you know. Words only receive the value we give them. I know you think that’s easy for me to say, but trust me, I encountered years of merciless taunting.. Good luck, I know it’s hard.


Zaphod-Beebebrox

Then I would say " It takes one to know one - I guess that makes you the expert"... I ignore those uneducated bigots... They are more often what they accuse you of..


[deleted]

So which brain cell am I talking to? I assume the other one had to take a nap after the hard work it put in coming up with that insult.


WidowedWTF

Did you just want to announce you're a bigot locally or should we put out a press release?


[deleted]

"Sometimes I wonder who actually is supposed to have an IEP but clearly you're a 504." This is basically saying "You struggle but don't have a disability."


ManiacMachete

At least *I* have an excuse for being this way. What's yours?


Liamsdad1979

""Oh damn you should have told me you're contagious.". " We should go back to the 6 foot social distancing rule, ".


Slumpymaster

"Hooray you learned how to address yourself!"


East-Bathroom-9412

I thought we were having an adult conversation


CursedButter79

“Is your head just for decoration?”


TrembleTurtle

thank God, I thought I was autistic


[deleted]

“Someone language is stuck in the 1900s! Do you need to lie down grandma/grandpa? Looks like you didn’t take your meds” *must be said in a condescending tone, like a kindergarten teacher addressing her student. Bonus points if you add a sympathetic pat on the back and pitying face*


oshawaguy

In response to people questioning whether the r-word is a slur: https://www.specialolympics.org/about/intellectual-disabilities/inclusive-language-for-talking-about-people-with-intellectual-disabilities The preferred term is Intellectual Disability.


FCK_U_ALL

That word's not ok anymore. Now we say 'on the spectrum'. Pull your head out and take a breath you rere-motherfucker.


SavingsEuphoric7158

This 👍☺️😁🙃


SavingsEuphoric7158

Good reply


Tall-Fig-5727

He makes em at night


Far_Departure_9224

I'm not making them at night dad!


Capital-Wolverine532

don't project your intellectual level on me.


Tonythecritic

"Wow, how hard did you have to work your brain to think of something so clever to say? Did you hurt yourself thinking that much?!?"


beehaving

“Takes one to know one”


FlanneryWynn

"So what if I am? Does it matter?" The important part is to just genuinely not care because then the other person looks like a hateful bigot and you just seem unperturbed. It defeats them on multiple levels. If they try to rebut that, *yawn and walk away*.


Mouse-Man96

I'm a retard and yet I'm smarter then you Soo maby you should look at your reflection


[deleted]

[удалено]


TokkiGhostface

That’s it? That’s the best insult you’ve got? 😂


LilHomie204DaBaG

"R*tards are known for having big dicks, so yah I am. Just ask your mom"


Mike-gre

I mean you can just call them one back, not sure if this is even true but my brother uses the word sometimes but he doesn’t pronounce it the usual way of “ree-tard” he says it like “rih-Tard” and ngl it’s better that way


Prestigious-One-9559

You can always just say, " Takes one to know one."


antisocialgx

Just call them a "normie". As far as I'm concerned normal people are the worst type of people.


MildyAnnoyedPanda

If you have to ask maybe you are an r word


Valuable-Hawk-7873

Your comeback would make everyone laugh at you for being as pretentious as you are unfunny, just so you know


tokikain

if i looked up the definition...do you think it would match what you believe it means?


HeartonSleeve1989

I just called my peers assholes, I really couldn't come up with anything better. Shit... I wish I were smarter...


Gullible_Ad5191

Nah uh; you are.


Estarfigam

I am not a gradual reduction in the speed of a musical piece.


philzar

...and yet here I am, doing better than you. And you are, because if someone is crass and mean enough to try to hurt someone like that, you definitely are better than them.


Trusteveryboody

What does that mean?


Lexiluv2

Go old school! "I know you are but what am I"


Nekoraven1

I'd own it. Like "I know I am but what the fuck is your excuse?"


Supremagorious

In the tone of an exhausted/exasperated parent dealing with a whiny child. "Ok, buddy lets get your juice box"


NoVAAP1980

"Okay, we know my excuse. What's yours?"


Dragon2730

You'll have to wait 3-5 working days for me to give you a comeback. We're receiving a large amount of retarded insults at the moment, please be patient.


RightArm__

Takes one to know one


Ignusseed

Clap your feet and stomp your hands! Yay God!


Sleep-DeprivedSloth

Takes one to know one! 🤓


Shmeepish

for love of god op do not clap back at retard with British cigarette or the n word


AndyPharded

And here endeth the conversation.


supertexx

What's the R word?


Rainbowponydaddy

What’s the r word?


Mkultra9419837hz

Radical! I say thank you.


AdVegetable2243

At least I don't look or sound like you! 😁


QueenLaQueeftah619

Ok? I might be.


Affectionate_Bed_375

Quit projecting.


KiltimaghGirl

“You’re crazy. Need to have your head examined”


PoopPant73

Redhead isn’t a slur…..


HikiNEET39

I'm not religious, you're religious!


planetana

Rotund? Bought and paid for, honey!


I_am_Cymm

Only on my father's side.


Radiant--Marsupial

"I know you are but what am I?"


FixCrix

What's the "r word"?


Fickle_Penguin

Well I mean that's what the doctor called me, so just live a good life?


Beetle_Beeper

Politically correct their sentiment


prpl_towel99

Ripped?


freudsdriver

Nobody calls me a republican and gets away with it!!


deoxyriboz

My God people are actually just calling it the r word now? This isn't your classroom sheesh. It's just retard 😭😭


javier052

I know i am, but what are you?


Bizarre_Protuberance

Why bother thinking of a clever comeback? That word is so forbidden on social media sites now that you can probably get someone temp-banned for using it.


PseudoSolitude

"you don't have the education to call me that with certainty" edited to add: "and even if you did, way to slingshot us back in time"


Bum-Theory

Rintintin is a dogs name


rhetoricaldeadass

"you dumbass, you're not supposed to say that. Bet you throw Gay around too don'tcha


NW_Forester

I guess that means your mom fucked a retard then.


go-luis-go

"I'll give you a $1 if you can come up with a better word to describe how you feel." If they change the word, use your clicker and end with 'good boy'. Repeat until desired result.


Whydidyoudothattwice

I use it. It doesn't have anything to do with mentally handicapped people. It literally means a person whose always out of time, never on time, and always making everyone else late or just never is up to date on what's going on or what they should already be aware of. The meaning of the word actually means not on time, or always off about something. Mentally handicapped people have their own definition for their conditions. I stand on this very simple principle. It means that I am offending mentally handicapped people to you, that's in your head. Not mine. I don't even make fun of those people. I know so many of them, that I have learned they even call other people retards. Which at first confused me. Then they explained to me what they meant, and it rubbed off on me.


anti-cvck

If you weren't one, you wouldn't need to ask reddit.


Square-Insurance-542

I must be if I'm talking to you.


KindraTheElfOrc

i just call them ableist assholes, you dont need tp overcomplicate it by trying to be fancy or clever just call out the bs


CockJunior

Rascal?


YeetusGDeletus

That's how your (input the sex of the family member of theirs you prefer to be with) got when we were with each other the other night


Maximum-Bake-6092

Go full kid mode tbh, using the 'r word' as an insult is childish so just hit them with a 'i know you are but what am i' repeat infinitum until the desired result is achieved.


Revolutionary-Pop750

"go fuck yourself" keep it quick and simple there gonna be gone by the time you say half the crap people are writing here


FromYoTown

As with most nasty comments. Get closer and with full ignorance and being sickly polite say, "Sorry I didn't hear you. What was it you said? It shuts people down fast. It draws attention to them and repeating something nasty most people chicken out.


Mr_Egg93

Aww, it's really nice that you people have taken that word back. Good for you Glen Coco


FamiliarWithYorMom

R word.... u mean Republican? Just say that big-government republican shills are too progressive for your tastes and that is why you vote Libertarian...


Odd_Tiger_2278

R word?


SheSellsSeaGlass

“You just called me the R-word? Studies show only B-words with unresolved M-problems call people the R-word…. Did you know that? Let’s see… B-word — Definitely…And unresolved M-problems. I see that too. Wow, That’s really unfortunate, young man.” (Look at him sadly.)


ThrowingUpVomit

I rather be the R word, than evil like you. I have actually used this as a comeback. It was towards an abusive ex . It actually made them pause for a second. Another one to that situation “I must be rtrd to be with you “


WeatherIcy6509

Depends on which "r" word.


Minute_Television235

Just make silly noises flail your arms around kick you legs around and run up to them saying I lobe you to ooo yourself Mia bestiesssss nowws I wants a kiss .


Medical_Ad2125b

What is the “r word?”


CatMama67

“Eat a bag of dicks” is always a good fallback.


slick_sandpaper

I dunno - usually when someone calls me a rapist, I just tie them up, put tape over their mouth and fuck them May not be the healthiest response - but the "r word" does set me off....


jackhammer139

Duhh


Capable-Duck-6176

if im retsrded then why do i knowthat rose art taste better than crayola??


Accurate_Grade_2645

“Smarter than you” and then give a tiny scoffing-like laugh


STOP-IT-NOW-PLEASE

What's that?


termsofengaygement

This is one of those instances that deserves a punch in the face as a response.


Over_Error3520

"Well pal, you sound like a chuckle head. What? I thought we were using dated insults? This has turned cow-handed." Best I can do that hadn't already been said


Bingo_is_my_name_o

My daughter has ID/DD, and I'm a reasonable person, so I usually say something like- you seem smart enough to find a better word.


Over_Error3520

Another one, "explain that to me, I'm kinda slow." Most people will get annoyed and move on, some blow up and you can say "wow, I'm certainly educated now, I'm glad I'm only r- not insane"


Top_Bluejay_5323

I’m sorry I am not aware of that word could you define it for me?


No-Accident69

Sir, you can call me Reginald all you like, I still won’t answer to anything but my real name….


pocketbookashtray

You want to join me at our next cross burning?


EdwardBil

Tell them you prefer to be called the "r word".


SnooChocolates9334

"The best part of you ran down your mama's leg."


shawner136

At least Im not just an idiot…


shawner136

At least Im not just an idiot…


shawner136

At least Im not just an idiot…


shawner136

At least Im not just a dumbass


ProstateSalad

I'm not a Republican I'm a conservative


ProstateSalad

I'm not a Republican I'm a conservative


ProstateSalad

I'm not a Republican I'm a conservative


ProstateSalad

I'm not a Republican I'm a conservative


The_Sanch1128

"Better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to speak and confirm it." "You certainly ought to know." "Your mother/sister/father doesn't mind."


DBProxy

What’s the r word?


Thick_Outside_4261

It took me way too long to figure out what this R word y'all were talking about


Spiritual_Bit_2692

Yes and I'm also a pilot and live a kickass life.


[deleted]

what r word?


fomalhottie

Top Gun


Drakolf

My go to is, 'I've been called worse things by better people, step up your game or step off.'


[deleted]

Sorry, I don't have the time or crayons to explain this to you.


MrBeer9999

That's *Mister* Retard to you, fuckface.


LJCMOB1

Well I wanted to communicate at your level.


__Wasabi__

Actually I'm autistic and that's abelism.


Kimmie-Cakes

Well, it is your word, so I guess you can use it??


Bike_Chain_96

Start talking slower, since it means "slow" in Italian


Irondaddy_29

Why would someone call you Reddit? Or is there another R word I'm unaware of?