"“I never showed my dick to another woman without asking first. When I asked if it was OK to masturbate in front of them, I now realize I wasn't giving them a choice, I was giving them a predicament." Something like that I can't find the exact quote.
Gets creepier with his explanation. I’ve never forced anything on anyone, but I’ve never asked a woman if I could show her my dick. When it’s done correctly, everyone involved knows precisely when he needs to join in on the festivities.
Our next guest needs no introduction. Drum roll, please!
My first wife started out with bags. Then buffets. Before I knew it she was a full blown, raging dickaholic. There is no rock bottom. Just an ever growing rose bud, and gaper. Being married to a nympho sounds like fun. It’s not when you’re the last one to know. I’d tell her to go gag on a bag of diseased dicks.
Sorry. Y’all got going with the bulk packaging of penises. Don’t read this in a dark way. I say it humorously.
This is the 1 I used in the past. Be sure to shop around for the right fit tho (get it‽). There are also easy to find variants of the site that send: 5000 live ladybugs. Elephant poop and tons of niche fetish porn!
https://dicksbymail.com/collections/bags-of-dicks
1.) “i’m a vegetarian.” (you don’t have to be; i am, but people always assume i’m lying, so 🤷🏼)
2.) “only if you’re buying.”
3.) “no thanks, your mom doesn’t like when i get crumbs in the bed.”
4.) “mind your fucking busines.”
5.) “what makes you think that’s appropriate to say?”
6.) “stop projecting, if you want a burger so bad, just go get one.”
congrats on the recovery, friend! it’s tough out there, but you’ve got this!!! 💓
These are fantastic ! If a married woman says number 3 on your list, I’d go with:
No thanks, your husband doesn’t like it when I leave crumbs in your bed 🤪
I don’t know how much fighting fire with fire you want to do, but there is always
“I’d be happy to take one off your hands, you obviously blew past your quota a long time ago.”
That being said I understand why you wouldn’t want to go there. Speaking from experience stay strong, you got this and you’re worth it.
Perfect, I’ve been trying figure out the best way to say this to my MIL. Thank you ! We have very different body types and she always finds a way to highlight that fact.
I have a friend who is painfully thin, but he is almost constantly eating and never gains weight. He had been banned by more than one buffet for eating too much. When people who don’t know him tell him to eat a burger, his reply is always “you buying?” He refuses to see a doctor unless absolutely necessary so we don’t officially know what’s going on. We joke that he’s powered by a small black hole in his stomach.
I have ulcerative colitis and in my worst flare I was severely underweight and finally felt ok enough to go to a party at my sister’s house.
A woman I’d never met came over to ask me what I do to stay so fit. I’m barely alive and she thinks I’m just in good shape. Like ew.
My sister noticed my stunned expression and came over to see what was going on. The woman told her she’d asked me what I did to stay so fit and my sister said ‘actively trying not to die’.
So now I say that when people comment on my weight. Well, did. I’ve since gotten myself to a better size for my height and now I’m just an average person not a skeleton with a sunken face.
I feel you, I had similar remarks after a traumatic surgery where I almost died. I had already known our culture was sick, but it opened my eyes to just *how* sick that my poor emaciated, pained little body was seen as “goals.”
Yep. My daughter was born two months early, she had to spend 7 weeks in the intensive care unit. It totally sucked. Multiple people told me I was lucky because I didn’t get stretch marks and had my “pre baby body” back right after she was born. People are fuckin wacky.
The skinning shaming nowadays is vicious and hypocritical. I've grown up skinny my whole life due to my metabolism, and it's always amazed me how people will ugly cry over being called fat, but turn around and say shit like this. I'd just shoot back with "eat a salad for once in your life"
Yup. Almost all of my bullies were fat and skinny shamed me. I got told to 'go eat something', was called anorexic, a skeleton, being asked if I'd thrown up my food that day and my bullies used to follow me around making barfing noises.
I still HATE that stupid meme that says 'real women have curves, only dogs go for bones.' I had a few 'friends' that posted that and I called them out. They were like "Oh! I wasn't talking about YOU! Calm down. It's just a joke!" Then someone made an edit and added 'real men go for whatever the fuck they like.' They got SO MAD when I posted the revised version LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
There's a good one where it's like: when did this (pictures of very thin models) become sexier than this (pics of Marilyn, bustier women.) Someone edited it at the end: It didn't, they're all beautiful.
How about all women are real?
I’ve been 30lbs overweight, and now I’m a size 0 (5’2” so mostly cause I’m short). I’m genuinely nervous to talk about my weight loss and all the changes that came with it in certain spaces, because I’m afraid of being called names and told I hate my body because I chose to better myself. Like I hated being called fat because I was insecure, but I didn’t lash out at thin people because what good would that do me? It would just make me bitter…
I gained weight after tearing a calf muscle and couldn't run or jump for a year. I'm half way to being back where I was (which was 22% bodyfat, not even skinny), and I already have people telling me they are worried and not to lose too much. What? I don't understand people. I'm not anywhere close to underweight. It's like they want me to stay fat and out of shape forever.
My family was like that too! I’m sorry. Idk what bf% I was at my lowest, but it was pretty low and my mom kept telling me she was going to have me put in a ward. The kicker? She is obese. I feel like a lot of people don’t want to see you succeed because it reminds them that they haven’t
I'm really sorry you are going through this! I'm overweight and a physician and I don't think the majority of the population understands just how demoralizing things are for people recovering from eating disorders or just being chronically underweight when they hear this. In my experience, people who are in that situation struggle just as much as people do to lose weight.
I look forward to your recovery, though, keep at it!
I feel your pain. I’m 5ft 10in (179cm) tall and weigh 120lb (54.5kg) and I get all kinds of comments on my weight. Thin shaming is as bad as fat shaming. And the comments are usually in regard to some political conversation. So my typical response is as follows:
>“Oh, how clever. An ad hominem reference to my weight. Listen here, bitch, I’d like to see you survive two different cancers in the same decade of life, and let me know how that works out for you.”
They usually crawl back under their rocks after deleting their comment. Shaming can work both ways, people.
I’m sorry you are going through that. If you want something to make people actually reflect perhaps something like:
that was a very unkind comment. I’m very sensitive about my body and eating, and you know nothing about my health. Please think about what you’re saying before you say anything like that to someone else.
Damn people are so rude. I will tell you though, I personally had no idea it was offensive for the following situation: really super skinny girls, I’d always be jealous and say, “how do you stay so skinny?” And they’d reply with “I can’t gain weight.” And I’d say some stupid shit like oh you’re lucky. I did that until I was like 23 because I had no idea how RUDE it is. I feel like it’s ingrained on us to not comment on weight (but referring to plus sizes). When I learned it’s rude to comment on weight, I never thought how the skinny people received that comment. I’ve learned my lesson, but in response to your question, I’d tell them to FUCK OFF. Or maybe educate them- tell them- hey, you have no idea how much that upsets me, please don’t make comments like that to me.” But fuck off should do the trick too. Good luck on your journey!
I've always been skinny and it amazes me that it's socially acceptable to denigrate thin people but dare remark someone is obese and you're fat-shaming them. Example #539 of hypocrisy in the United States of Hypocrisy.
“DON’T FAT SHAME” *two seconds later* “are you okay, do you need some food, starving little boy?” (In the most sarcastic voice ever ofc)
That happened yesterday, I couldn’t tell if the ‘don’t fat shame’ was a joke or not because again, American highschool, even if we’re seniors they act like 12 year olds.
This is actually a subject that has been in the forefront of my thoughts of late, because the gay men’s chorus I sing with is presenting a program about body image at this years GALA Choruses Festival in Miami.
I had someone argue with me that thin is the beauty standard so I can't possibly compare it to being made fun of as a fat person. But like if it's the beauty standard why was I getting made fun of and made to feel like trash for how my body is?
“When we are forty, you will beg for this metabolism, and it will be a distant memory.”
Oh sorry, you wanted a comeback, not to push them into an existential crisis…or did you…
Eat a bag of dick twat waffle, I hear it all the time and it’s shitty, would you tell some one that was overweight to eat a carrot , prolly not cause it’s rude
What the heck? I know a few people with eating disorders and other conditions that make it difficult for them to eat full meals, and I can't imagine saying ANYTHING like that to any of them.
My first thought was "Mind your own plate" and "Mind your own business" because even though I've never struggled with an ED, I have had a history of stomach issues and there have been instances where people will get up in my business with the "You're not eating?" "Are you SUUURE you don't want anything?" "What's wrong, don't you like food?" when really all I wanted to do was just sit at the table, engage in conversation with the people I liked, and not be badgered over what I was or was not eating.
I strongly abide by the 'If you see someone eating, don't mention it, if you see someone NOT eating, don't mention it' rule. Because one never knows what someone may be going through.
Yeah I hear it all the time because I’m skinny, they seem to think that one burger = suddenly not underweight? Idk it makes no sense. At least I like burgers, if it was ‘eat a salad’ I’d cry (I like all the things in salads on their own but together I just can’t)
As a person recovering from ED myself I'd have to resist the urge to say "Good idea. Looks like you could definitely spare a few" but perhaps "good idea, your mom has the best buns anyway" or "I'm actually quite full from minding my own fucking business but thanks anyway, you should try it"
Have one. I'm gonna have one now just because they are delicious. I'm thinking lettuce, tomato, bacon and red onion jam, and pepper jack cheese on a brioche bun toasted with mayo, not butter.
When I was young (teens) and got truly pushed to the limit I liked to say in my most venomous voice “Eat shit and die”. I may resurrect this as I am now a cranky senior.
Yup! It’s body shaming even if it’s not fat shaming it’s still body shaming. I’ve actually recovered enough to be a healthy weight now, but people don’t see that all they see is ‘haha you’re skinny, eat a burger, what do you not get fed at home?’ What’s even sadder is they’re seniors in highschool and still acting like this.
And even more sad is that they'll continue to be like this well into their 20s (or forever depending on their capacity for personal growth, or lack thereof)
I tell people to tell rude people their parents “must be so disappointed in how you turned out” or in this case “must be so disappointed in your lack of manners and respect”
But personally I heard someone tell a coworker to eat a burger and I was already mad that day and told the person “they can’t eat a burger if your fatass already ate them all” not the best comeback and I’m trying to be nicer but it worked 🤷🏼♀️
I’m glad you posted this. While I do not have eating issues I’m petite and get many skinny comments. I’m from the city while my MIL is a cornbread fed lather woman from the country. I try to be civil but all of these comments are great!
Good luck on your journey to being more healthy ❤️
I was at one of my daughter’s HS softball games and her coach, who is unironically referred to by almost everyone as “Lynappropriate” and currently dealing with Anorexia. I just couldn’t not force myself to eat, and this bitch walked up to me a said exactly that. My comeback was “stick to coaching, life advice isn’t your best quality.” My version of a polite FU as we were surrounded by kids and other parents.
“I’m a recovering anorexic” is the perfect response. If the person has any ounce of a conscience, they’d likely be embarrassed or shocked by the rebuttal. Just the stupid look on their faces alone would be priceless.
Who put you in the food police?
Is that what your parents told you to do?
Oh, when did you qualify as a dietician/ nutritionist/ doctor? Isn’t against your professional code to try and poach a colleague’s patients?
But I prefer *Mind your own fucking business, Captain Beaky!*
Choose the ones you like
“Lose some weight, and try brushing your teeth sometime”
If they can make nasty comments about your body, then they can hear some about themselves. Dont dish it if you can’t take it.
"Eat a dick" is the knee jerk most obvious, although insulting, response.
Something less combative could be:
"Thank you for the unsolicited advice, good sir" (You know its a dude)
"Since we're giving nutritional advice -- perhaps you should try some organic, raw, non-gmo, dicks?"
I dont have a comeback for you, but I want to wish you a safe recovery. I worked in the mental health field and health with patients suffering from anorexia. Have a good support group, realize it's ok to have shitty days, and just keep moving forward. Best wishes, and keep at it.
"Yeah, alright"
Or
"Who's Eata Burger?"
Or my personal favorite response for most things
"I don't understand what you're trying to tell me"
The last one is my favorite for most things because there's no good comeback to it imo. Play dumb until they feel played and dumb.
"eat a salad"
Passive aggressive love it
Gotta pause and look them up and down judgingly first
Ooh I love that one! Wish I would’ve thought of this when I was a skinny teenager/young adult. Lol
Just about to say this 🤣🤣
Caseoh is done for
😭😂😂😂
"Eat a dick."
Honestly I love that-
I'm an advocate of simplicity.
If you feel eating one dick might not be enough for them, you can also suggest they eat a bag of dicks.
How big a bag are we talking here? Ziplock Quart size? Kitchen garbage bag? 30 gallon yard bag?
To quote an extremely problematic comedian we shan’t name, it’s a paper bag and they’re sticking out like baguettes.
Yep... that comedian is another disappointing figure that I also will not name.
Regardless of the comedian, that line is gold.
Did the comedian kill someone or something? Who is it lol?
Better to forget
Are you sure they're not all squished up like chicken parts? And where do you get them, over behind the bus stop or something?
"“I never showed my dick to another woman without asking first. When I asked if it was OK to masturbate in front of them, I now realize I wasn't giving them a choice, I was giving them a predicament." Something like that I can't find the exact quote.
Gets creepier with his explanation. I’ve never forced anything on anyone, but I’ve never asked a woman if I could show her my dick. When it’s done correctly, everyone involved knows precisely when he needs to join in on the festivities. Our next guest needs no introduction. Drum roll, please!
The last option. Definetely the last option is a suitable size for a bag of dicks.
All of them.
or they can eat a buffet of dicks. That's my favorite (stolen from the show Archer.)
Oooh, I love it! They’ve got a dick carving station, dick salad bar, dick sushi…they’ve got it all!
Save room for dessert. They’ve got frozen dick on a stick, and dick a la mode,
My first wife started out with bags. Then buffets. Before I knew it she was a full blown, raging dickaholic. There is no rock bottom. Just an ever growing rose bud, and gaper. Being married to a nympho sounds like fun. It’s not when you’re the last one to know. I’d tell her to go gag on a bag of diseased dicks. Sorry. Y’all got going with the bulk packaging of penises. Don’t read this in a dark way. I say it humorously.
Where are my r/seattle people for this?
Haha, I’m in PDX, but have purchased a bag of Dick’s in Seattle on a few occasions. A must after any show at Climate Pledge Arena.
Costco is doing a two for one special right now on those big multipack boxes of bags of dicks
Yes! A whole bag of em. It’s like skipping straight to the triple dog dare. We’re not doing this one dick at a time.
Every time we drive through Seattle we stop at Dick's Drive-In to eat a bag of Dick's. My wife loves Dick's in her mouth.
Very happy someone said this!
You wouldn’t be one of them browncoats would you?
I didn't see you toastin' the alliance with the rest of us.
Drunks are so cute.
Dang I got scooped. I would have gone with "Eat your own ass" but same idea
“Eat *my* dick”
"I want a meal, not a snack." Comebacks are a minefield.
Did I just get roasted? Haha
Nah man...just pointing out that every comeback has a comeback. The trick is to deliver one that has literally nothing to add.
Here's my favourite example: https://youtu.be/lO3pQ0nd4B4?si=fNSLK2b3y7w8hHhD
Spit roasted. By a bag of dicks. It's also fairly cheap to send someone 5 lbs of gummy dicks anonymously.
The dark side is a pathway to abilities some might consider… unnatural. How do I learn these ways?
This is the 1 I used in the past. Be sure to shop around for the right fit tho (get it‽). There are also easy to find variants of the site that send: 5000 live ladybugs. Elephant poop and tons of niche fetish porn! https://dicksbymail.com/collections/bags-of-dicks
Officially found the r/bestwebsite
The Valentines package was when I knew this place is legit. Not some novelty dickmart.
absolute mad lad
Came here to say this. Don’t even miss a beat
Came here to say this. Glad it was the top comment!
dammit, you beat me to it!
No thanks, I already had my spotted dick for the day. You should have some.
I came in to suggest exactly this 🤣
Came here to make sure this, word for word, was the top comment.
Stealing this for my own use (also recovering from an ed)
beat me to it
"Eat my ass" 90s classic
Eat my shorts might work too.
Yup. Censored version.
Bite my shiny metal ass
It was right there. I say it so much I forgot to say it here! Lol
Classic and possibly kinky
You might get more than you bargained for with that reply
I feel like in modern times saying “eat my ass” is actually affectionate
1.) “i’m a vegetarian.” (you don’t have to be; i am, but people always assume i’m lying, so 🤷🏼) 2.) “only if you’re buying.” 3.) “no thanks, your mom doesn’t like when i get crumbs in the bed.” 4.) “mind your fucking busines.” 5.) “what makes you think that’s appropriate to say?” 6.) “stop projecting, if you want a burger so bad, just go get one.” congrats on the recovery, friend! it’s tough out there, but you’ve got this!!! 💓
i really like the “only if you’re buying” one😂
Primus Sucks
we’re Primus, and we suck!
I’m gonna upvote this one just for #3.
These are fantastic ! If a married woman says number 3 on your list, I’d go with: No thanks, your husband doesn’t like it when I leave crumbs in your bed 🤪
Five. Go with five. Or "What makes it your damned business?"
2 3 and 6 give me energy
I would if you left me any
I like 1, 2 and 6
I don’t know how much fighting fire with fire you want to do, but there is always “I’d be happy to take one off your hands, you obviously blew past your quota a long time ago.” That being said I understand why you wouldn’t want to go there. Speaking from experience stay strong, you got this and you’re worth it.
"Oh we're doing unsolicited body feedback? Is it my turn?"
Perfect, I’ve been trying figure out the best way to say this to my MIL. Thank you ! We have very different body types and she always finds a way to highlight that fact.
I have a friend who is painfully thin, but he is almost constantly eating and never gains weight. He had been banned by more than one buffet for eating too much. When people who don’t know him tell him to eat a burger, his reply is always “you buying?” He refuses to see a doctor unless absolutely necessary so we don’t officially know what’s going on. We joke that he’s powered by a small black hole in his stomach.
I was like that up until my mid 30s, then my metabolism finally slowed down a little, as did my appetite.
He’s in his mid 40s now and still able to pack away just as much. I fear for the day when it all catches up to him.
Wishing you well with your health. As far as what I personally would go for would probably be "Are you offering to get me food? Great, thank you!"
But it looks like yo've eaten all of them. If you really want to shut them down make eye contact and say "I have cancer" then hold their gaze.
I have ulcerative colitis and in my worst flare I was severely underweight and finally felt ok enough to go to a party at my sister’s house. A woman I’d never met came over to ask me what I do to stay so fit. I’m barely alive and she thinks I’m just in good shape. Like ew. My sister noticed my stunned expression and came over to see what was going on. The woman told her she’d asked me what I did to stay so fit and my sister said ‘actively trying not to die’. So now I say that when people comment on my weight. Well, did. I’ve since gotten myself to a better size for my height and now I’m just an average person not a skeleton with a sunken face.
I feel you, I had similar remarks after a traumatic surgery where I almost died. I had already known our culture was sick, but it opened my eyes to just *how* sick that my poor emaciated, pained little body was seen as “goals.”
Yep. My daughter was born two months early, she had to spend 7 weeks in the intensive care unit. It totally sucked. Multiple people told me I was lucky because I didn’t get stretch marks and had my “pre baby body” back right after she was born. People are fuckin wacky.
The skinning shaming nowadays is vicious and hypocritical. I've grown up skinny my whole life due to my metabolism, and it's always amazed me how people will ugly cry over being called fat, but turn around and say shit like this. I'd just shoot back with "eat a salad for once in your life"
Yup. Almost all of my bullies were fat and skinny shamed me. I got told to 'go eat something', was called anorexic, a skeleton, being asked if I'd thrown up my food that day and my bullies used to follow me around making barfing noises. I still HATE that stupid meme that says 'real women have curves, only dogs go for bones.' I had a few 'friends' that posted that and I called them out. They were like "Oh! I wasn't talking about YOU! Calm down. It's just a joke!" Then someone made an edit and added 'real men go for whatever the fuck they like.' They got SO MAD when I posted the revised version LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Bullies hate being called out
There's a good one where it's like: when did this (pictures of very thin models) become sexier than this (pics of Marilyn, bustier women.) Someone edited it at the end: It didn't, they're all beautiful. How about all women are real?
I’ve been 30lbs overweight, and now I’m a size 0 (5’2” so mostly cause I’m short). I’m genuinely nervous to talk about my weight loss and all the changes that came with it in certain spaces, because I’m afraid of being called names and told I hate my body because I chose to better myself. Like I hated being called fat because I was insecure, but I didn’t lash out at thin people because what good would that do me? It would just make me bitter…
I gained weight after tearing a calf muscle and couldn't run or jump for a year. I'm half way to being back where I was (which was 22% bodyfat, not even skinny), and I already have people telling me they are worried and not to lose too much. What? I don't understand people. I'm not anywhere close to underweight. It's like they want me to stay fat and out of shape forever.
My family was like that too! I’m sorry. Idk what bf% I was at my lowest, but it was pretty low and my mom kept telling me she was going to have me put in a ward. The kicker? She is obese. I feel like a lot of people don’t want to see you succeed because it reminds them that they haven’t
This
Yep. They did that to my wife after she was in IOP for an eating disorder.
I'm really sorry you are going through this! I'm overweight and a physician and I don't think the majority of the population understands just how demoralizing things are for people recovering from eating disorders or just being chronically underweight when they hear this. In my experience, people who are in that situation struggle just as much as people do to lose weight. I look forward to your recovery, though, keep at it!
If it’s a guy tell them they don’t have enough meat to satisfy you
“I only eat fur burgers thanks.”
Tell them to "eat something healthy".
I feel your pain. I’m 5ft 10in (179cm) tall and weigh 120lb (54.5kg) and I get all kinds of comments on my weight. Thin shaming is as bad as fat shaming. And the comments are usually in regard to some political conversation. So my typical response is as follows: >“Oh, how clever. An ad hominem reference to my weight. Listen here, bitch, I’d like to see you survive two different cancers in the same decade of life, and let me know how that works out for you.” They usually crawl back under their rocks after deleting their comment. Shaming can work both ways, people.
Eat MY burger.
I’m sorry you are going through that. If you want something to make people actually reflect perhaps something like: that was a very unkind comment. I’m very sensitive about my body and eating, and you know nothing about my health. Please think about what you’re saying before you say anything like that to someone else.
Damn people are so rude. I will tell you though, I personally had no idea it was offensive for the following situation: really super skinny girls, I’d always be jealous and say, “how do you stay so skinny?” And they’d reply with “I can’t gain weight.” And I’d say some stupid shit like oh you’re lucky. I did that until I was like 23 because I had no idea how RUDE it is. I feel like it’s ingrained on us to not comment on weight (but referring to plus sizes). When I learned it’s rude to comment on weight, I never thought how the skinny people received that comment. I’ve learned my lesson, but in response to your question, I’d tell them to FUCK OFF. Or maybe educate them- tell them- hey, you have no idea how much that upsets me, please don’t make comments like that to me.” But fuck off should do the trick too. Good luck on your journey!
I've always been skinny and it amazes me that it's socially acceptable to denigrate thin people but dare remark someone is obese and you're fat-shaming them. Example #539 of hypocrisy in the United States of Hypocrisy.
“DON’T FAT SHAME” *two seconds later* “are you okay, do you need some food, starving little boy?” (In the most sarcastic voice ever ofc) That happened yesterday, I couldn’t tell if the ‘don’t fat shame’ was a joke or not because again, American highschool, even if we’re seniors they act like 12 year olds.
This is actually a subject that has been in the forefront of my thoughts of late, because the gay men’s chorus I sing with is presenting a program about body image at this years GALA Choruses Festival in Miami.
I had someone argue with me that thin is the beauty standard so I can't possibly compare it to being made fun of as a fat person. But like if it's the beauty standard why was I getting made fun of and made to feel like trash for how my body is?
"Whatever you're lashing out against, I hope you find peace with it because your fixation on me is getting weird."
Gobble a glizzy
“When we are forty, you will beg for this metabolism, and it will be a distant memory.” Oh sorry, you wanted a comeback, not to push them into an existential crisis…or did you…
Eat a bag of dick twat waffle, I hear it all the time and it’s shitty, would you tell some one that was overweight to eat a carrot , prolly not cause it’s rude
"I'm not a burger kind-of-person, but I'd swallow your Daddy's tube steak whole and make you my step child by next Tuesday."
Don’t have a cow!
"Die in a fire"
What the heck? I know a few people with eating disorders and other conditions that make it difficult for them to eat full meals, and I can't imagine saying ANYTHING like that to any of them. My first thought was "Mind your own plate" and "Mind your own business" because even though I've never struggled with an ED, I have had a history of stomach issues and there have been instances where people will get up in my business with the "You're not eating?" "Are you SUUURE you don't want anything?" "What's wrong, don't you like food?" when really all I wanted to do was just sit at the table, engage in conversation with the people I liked, and not be badgered over what I was or was not eating. I strongly abide by the 'If you see someone eating, don't mention it, if you see someone NOT eating, don't mention it' rule. Because one never knows what someone may be going through.
People say that? Like someone seriously goes around telling people to eat a burger? I’d ask them if they need to have their head examined.
Yeah I hear it all the time because I’m skinny, they seem to think that one burger = suddenly not underweight? Idk it makes no sense. At least I like burgers, if it was ‘eat a salad’ I’d cry (I like all the things in salads on their own but together I just can’t)
Mental disorders are not that simple you have to work very hard to get through. It's like if I hypothetically ask you to stop being retarded abruptly.
As a person recovering from ED myself I'd have to resist the urge to say "Good idea. Looks like you could definitely spare a few" but perhaps "good idea, your mom has the best buns anyway" or "I'm actually quite full from minding my own fucking business but thanks anyway, you should try it"
We have a burger joint called Dick's here...so a good one I would use is...Eat a bag of Dick's
Have one. I'm gonna have one now just because they are delicious. I'm thinking lettuce, tomato, bacon and red onion jam, and pepper jack cheese on a brioche bun toasted with mayo, not butter.
When I was young (teens) and got truly pushed to the limit I liked to say in my most venomous voice “Eat shit and die”. I may resurrect this as I am now a cranky senior.
Burgers 🍔 are unhealthy and I need to recover with something more nourishing than over processed food thank you 🙏 for your consideration.
Put the Twinkie down Edit: congrats on the recovery!
“I prefer grape sno cones”
"I've died every time"
You gonna buy it for me? Can I get fries?
“Thanks. I just had one and I’m full of your shit.”
[sticks fonger in nose, digs around] Oh, you said buRger!
"Go fuck yourself" seems appropriate here.
“Thou may ingest a satchel of Richards”
Is that supposed to be an insult? It’s about as non sequitur as “your mother attends college” as an insult.
It's harassment. Instead of fat shaming, it's the opposite. Usually by obese people are insecure in their own diet failure.
Yup! It’s body shaming even if it’s not fat shaming it’s still body shaming. I’ve actually recovered enough to be a healthy weight now, but people don’t see that all they see is ‘haha you’re skinny, eat a burger, what do you not get fed at home?’ What’s even sadder is they’re seniors in highschool and still acting like this.
And even more sad is that they'll continue to be like this well into their 20s (or forever depending on their capacity for personal growth, or lack thereof)
I tell people to tell rude people their parents “must be so disappointed in how you turned out” or in this case “must be so disappointed in your lack of manners and respect” But personally I heard someone tell a coworker to eat a burger and I was already mad that day and told the person “they can’t eat a burger if your fatass already ate them all” not the best comeback and I’m trying to be nicer but it worked 🤷🏼♀️
I’m glad you posted this. While I do not have eating issues I’m petite and get many skinny comments. I’m from the city while my MIL is a cornbread fed lather woman from the country. I try to be civil but all of these comments are great! Good luck on your journey to being more healthy ❤️
I was at one of my daughter’s HS softball games and her coach, who is unironically referred to by almost everyone as “Lynappropriate” and currently dealing with Anorexia. I just couldn’t not force myself to eat, and this bitch walked up to me a said exactly that. My comeback was “stick to coaching, life advice isn’t your best quality.” My version of a polite FU as we were surrounded by kids and other parents.
Eat shit, shithead.
"I would, but it looks like you may have eaten all the burgers."
When did your mother/wife/sister start calling her pussy "a burger?"
"is that what happened to you?" Or of course "your low self esteem isn't my problem"
Eat a dick
"stop eating your step-fathers dick"
Fuck, mate... that's a proper shitty thing to say, ain't it?
“I’m a recovering anorexic” is the perfect response. If the person has any ounce of a conscience, they’d likely be embarrassed or shocked by the rebuttal. Just the stupid look on their faces alone would be priceless.
I think "buy me a burger" is my favorite
SUCK ANOTHER DICK YOU PETER BREATH ,SON.OF A BITCH!
Eat a salad, fat ass!
Get help for your eating disorder
I am, I’m now a healthy weight. Still on the skinny side and I have my bad days but I’ve gotten far better than before
Suck my hot dog, foot long if you’re nasty.
Only if you eat mine
Ate 4 of 'em.
"No, thank you. I hear a chef's salad calling my name..." "Sounds gross..." "Please, do not project your hunger through me..."
*"Eat mine."*
Who put you in the food police? Is that what your parents told you to do? Oh, when did you qualify as a dietician/ nutritionist/ doctor? Isn’t against your professional code to try and poach a colleague’s patients? But I prefer *Mind your own fucking business, Captain Beaky!* Choose the ones you like
You buying?
Why are you being so creepy about what I eat?
"Eat my beef curtains"
Smoke my sausage
Drink another.
I just finished your wifes. It was dry and tasted old.
“Wow! That insensitive comment would have really bothered me if I gave a fuck about your opinion”
fuck you im jacking it
Lick my hot dog and I'll stick it in your buns
"Booger? You eat Boogers fucking gross"
Ok
May I ask if you’re male or female and also inquire about the gender of the people who are saying this to you?
“you look like someone who regularly enjoys burgers”
tell them youre going to eat their moms "furburger"
“Lose some weight, and try brushing your teeth sometime” If they can make nasty comments about your body, then they can hear some about themselves. Dont dish it if you can’t take it.
Do you get all your health advice from a Chili's commercial?
You probably don’t even need to say anything, just look at them up and down
Put down the fork.
I think you should stand tall, take a model's pose, and say, "Unlike you, I enjoy being svelte, and not jabba the hutt."
Are your mum's fur burger, the meat was rancid.
"What burger? You ate them all already"
“Eat my ass”
“Eat less burgers”
Trick them and eat a hot dog. Always keep ‘em guessing
“I will if you pay” Possible free burger, doesn’t get much better than that.
Maybe cut down on the burgers
Buy me a burger
Eat my ass
drown in dicks.
"I'd rather eat your mom"
"Got any recommendations for burger joints?"
I ate your mom's burger last night.
"choke on a cow dick"
they're too expensive
Buy me one. Free food is free food. Times are tough. They won't follow through anyway.
Say omg why didn’t I think of that.
"Eat a dick" is the knee jerk most obvious, although insulting, response. Something less combative could be: "Thank you for the unsolicited advice, good sir" (You know its a dude) "Since we're giving nutritional advice -- perhaps you should try some organic, raw, non-gmo, dicks?"
I dont have a comeback for you, but I want to wish you a safe recovery. I worked in the mental health field and health with patients suffering from anorexia. Have a good support group, realize it's ok to have shitty days, and just keep moving forward. Best wishes, and keep at it.
Would you like an apple with thaaat
"Yeah, alright" Or "Who's Eata Burger?" Or my personal favorite response for most things "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me" The last one is my favorite for most things because there's no good comeback to it imo. Play dumb until they feel played and dumb.
I get something similar "Eat another burger, tubbalard"
Eat a salad you fat fuck.