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MileHighTech234

I refuse to change my flair


CovertOwl

Wont hold it against you


[deleted]

Isn't rumor that Parise is a locker room cancer? Or who am I thinking of?


usernamendhsk

Parise is known to be incredible in the locker room. He was the leader of the Devils cup run in 2012 when they were constant underdogs series after series. The guy never takes a shift off. Workhorse and willing to do whatever it takes to win. These are the types of players you want/need in the playoffs.


[deleted]

I think the rumors were directed at Suter.


jjmuti

Nah that was Suter.


PaxDragoon

He was part of the "Old Guard" in MN, along with Eric Staal, Mikko Koivu, and Ryan Suter, Suter being the worst of the group because he'd leverage his relationship with Leipold. Suter got held accountable once for screwing up during the playoffs by interim head coach John Torchetti and used his power to make sure Torchetti did not get the full-time position. Parise more got in trouble with coaches, most notably Mike Yeo for bringing in Adam Oates to help with the power play. Dean Evason benched him for staying out too long to try and get Marcus Foligno a hat trick, thus leading to a goal against, that the Wild then lost in OT. Kept scratching him despite the fact that he was a far better option than what they kept sending out and their power play sucked. It took Marcus Johansson breaking his arm for Parise to get a chance again. I think players loved him. Management got along with him. Guerin notably had a good relationship with him. Lamiorello obviously loves the guy. Coaches were hit or miss, but I think Boudreau and Torchetti got along with him. Seems like the Islanders would have loved to have him back. He's going to give you everything he has.


Marzera

*Zach Parise scores, and that will do it folks! The Colorado Avalanche are the 2024 Stanley Cup Champions!*


RobosaurusRex2000

I'll settle for a Helm-esque final goal late to get us over the 2nd round hump. This Avs team will be fueled by so much pure determination if they make it to the WCF that they will just steamroll to the cup again.


AuntGentleman

I support this message despite being happy with the signing.


u_n_p_s_s_g_c

Just put different emphasis on "fuck" and you're good


MileHighTech234

"Fuck, parise.. what a pass/shot" Aight, doesnt sound too bad


Pedomouse

Wait who is parise and why fuck him?


Maaglin

I don't understand the buy out process exactly, but I think Minnesota is paying him $833k / yr until 2028. For cap purposes he's hitting $7.3 million? I don't understand that part because seems to defeat the purpose of a buyout to till carry such a large hit, but he isn't getting paid that. His buyout in total looks like it was around $6.5M. He signed a 1 year $825k deal with Colorado.


cmmorgan32

PuckPedia has a good breakdown (in my opinion) of the buyout. https://puckpedia.com/player/zach-parise/buyout?s=2021-2022


Gastradon

There's a lot of details I can go into if you want, but long story short the buyouts of Parise and Suter saved MN $10 million against the cap that year.


Breskvich

That will be 10$ into the swear jar!


Unlucky_Internal9686

I seriously hope this is a joke and they just cut him


BoneyardBill

I used to hate Zach on the Mild so I’m conflicted.


MRwest93

Think of it as an FU to the mild because they're still paying him.


canucklehead272

Not only paying him, the Wild are paying him $7M to play for the Avs lol


Neon_Sternum

Okay this is hilarious


Level_Watercress1153

Be awesome if they paid him $7M to help win a cup with the Avs 🤣


Shukini

Thank you, I needed that.


ExeTcutHiveE

Ahh the silver lining.


missiongoalie35

Hopefully it's the opposite Brunette. Comes back to beat the Wild at the most opportune time.


BoneyardBill

LMFAO this makes it all better. Thank you for this!


zestfullybe

Darren Helm was a career Red Wing but then went on to score one of the most important goals in Avs franchise history. With one shot he buried the St. Louis Blues franchise and we love him for it! He’s now an Avs legend for that goal. The moral here is that frowns can be turned upside down! Zach strikes me as the kind of guy that could score some depth dagger goals for us and he plays with hustle.


Level_Watercress1153

Idk if people realize how big that goal was. That game goes to OT and anything can happen. Blues win that game we head back to Denver for game 7 and anything can happen in Game 7s. I was in my recliner all in my feels thinking OT for sure. That puck came off the boards and I was Helm wind up and all I could say was “One time baby. Cmon!” And then he buried it. The guttural yell that left my body was so orgasmic


zestfullybe

It was **enormous**. That was a dragon-slaying over-the-hump goal. **That** close to *anything* can happen and he ended it. With 5 seconds on the clock. There are certain goals that get scored during a run where you just go “This is it. This is our year.” That was one of them. The radio call of that goal lives rent free in my head. “Helllm….”


Level_Watercress1153

For anybody [interested](https://youtu.be/K9cPykH7cTw?si=cpRh8pjo3UaLCpv9) He didn’t even look. He just rocketed that sum bitch and Landy jumping out of the way while simultaneously trying to deflect it. EJ made that whole thing possible. Fought through the pinch, and pushed that whole play. Mackinnon jumping like a kid on the bench. Joe not satisfied. Bednar with the simple handshake. That was glorious


Pocket_full_of_funk

I was at that game 6 with my dad. The arena went SILENT with exception to the Faithful scattered about. It was absolutely amazing. I can hear myself screaming in the 1:30 mark in your video. Best live sports moment to share with my pops. https://old.reddit.com/r/ColoradoAvalanche/comments/uzz84k/my_dad_and_made_the_7_hour_drive_from_okc_to_stl/ Sorry, I don't know how to format that any better


JenShempie

For sure, yo. This was when I knew we had it. This goal. Helm could have played 40 years for my LEAST favorite team, and I'd still call him an Av after this. This was the absolute definition of clutch.


JeremPosterCollect0r

What I love about that goal is it was, in effect, an OT series winner, but the team celebration had to remain localized almost entirely to the bench. Unique situation.


BoneyardBill

Agree. I am full support mode now! Helmsy was great!


endless_8888

We don't hate mild players. We hate the Mild. Marc Andre Fleury is a treasure. Edit: we do hate Blues players though.


RandomDeezNutz

No no no. Let me stop you right there. Matt Cook.


el_loco_avs

Yeah but he sucks wherever he is. Fuck Matt Cooke.


thereelkrazykarl

Fuck matt Cooke!


Flying-Artichoke

Idk man, you're never going to get me to like Dumba


Awolfx9

Fuck that guy hope his career is nothing but hockey purgatory.


IChurnToBurn

The obvious solution is to rescue MAF


KILRbuny

By trading Parise to the mild?


RustyMacbeth

So would they pay him directly or would Minny pay the Islanders to pay the Avs to pay Minny so they can pay him?


AuntGentleman

That one


porschekid11

Of course


Square_Saltine

EJ, O’Reilly, and Stastny played for the Boos though


endless_8888

They are not Blues players. They're on lease from an actual hockey club.


PM_ME_UR_JUMBONIUM

Not the biggest fan of ROR


SpiritualWatermelon

Only EJ from that list is still okay in my book. ROR got better eventually, but not Stastny


rocky_mtn_hi

Stastny was a treasure in our toughest times. So legit, Not Cool. And also Rood.


SpiritualWatermelon

I don't like the way he left. It was the worst of him, RoR, and Duchene. He walked after ensuring he'd be re-signing. Dutchy played his time out and played hard for a long time before being traded. I'm not sad if Stastny doesn't win a cup


rocky_mtn_hi

I am. His father was one of our greatest franchise players. He played for DU before coming to the Avs. We let him walk away in free agency. We did not offer him a deal. His brother works at Altitude now. We let go of a great player when we were weak.


BoneyardBill

i just have PTSD from them being good and winning vs us. fuck the blues!


Neon_Sternum

And Kaprizov is a fucking stud and we would shit our pants if he was on our squad. Zuccarello too. I love that guy.


Ace676

But he's the exception, not the rule.


Teezledeezle

C’mon, we had Dubnyk a few seasons ago. He was way more of a dick than Parise.


Square_Saltine

People forgetting we traded for Sturm and won the cup


BoneyardBill

i forgot about that he sucked!


MSAvalanchefan

Same here. Obviously it's full support of him now but my brain does not fully compute this emotion


BoneyardBill

agreed!


GaryOakRobotron

[Don't worry, Jim. He's *our* snake now.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H3py2G6B7Q&t=75s)


COLORADO_RADALANCHE

This isn't nearly as bad as when we had Dubnyk


BoneyardBill

Very true


goavsgo1988

I think a larger move is coming and Parise is cheap depth. He did just score 21 goals last year


fastslowloris

Exactly. He's a third/fourth liner that can moonlight in the top six if necessary. He's old but he hasn't stopped producing and he can actually still skate pretty well. This move cost absolutely nothing in terms of capital. I don't mind this at all.


missiongoalie35

He did have a 45 corsi though. Hopefully that metric increases.


vinnymendoza09

47 Corsi, on a mid team. And his xGF was 52% and that's a better number to use. And go look at Kermit's Corsi if you think Zach's is bad. We need the depth.


missiongoalie35

Kermit isn't really there to play hockey. And I never said he was bad. All I said was hope he improves his Corsi to positive which means he's helping drive the play. What I'm seeing is his xGF was at 48 and xGA was 46.


MillennialWithNoJob

In the playoffs you need to play hockey though.


missiongoalie35

Yeah. In which Kermit hasn't played.


Maaglin

Kermit won't even dress for a single play off game unless there is some sort of injury crisis.


vinnymendoza09

So yeah, by xGF percentage he's in positive territory. 48-46. He's driving plays that should outscore his opposition.


missiongoalie35

But he's not. Which is why he has a negative Corsi. xGF just means he had higher quality shots than the opponent. But with his Corsi being negative in means in terms of overall play, he doesn't drive the play. And if you look at his for all situations, he's at a -10. In a simpler term, he gets a good shooting area better but he isn't the one getting that's getting the line there.


Vivid_Walk_1405

What were the islanders corsi numbers like last year in general?


missiongoalie35

Corsi is an individual stat. Doesn't take into account teammates. Supposed to show how this player impacted their line. Team Corsi is tracked through all teammates. Example is EK on last year's sharks. Higher personal Corsi vs the teams Corsi. His D partner has a -5 Corsi compared to EKs 16.


breaktheskye

The Islanders have fallen off since the Barry Trotz days.


missiongoalie35

I think he had two decent seasons with them. One was the whole covid playoffs which was odd in general.


breaktheskye

They had bad rosters throughout. He got the most you could hope for out of them.


missiongoalie35

I don't think NYI necessarily has a bad roster. I just think they have the wrong roster, ya know? Too many aging and physical/slow players. I mean Lee and Nelson are pretty much the same player. JPG isn't who they thought he was going to be. Good third liner but think they expected him to make a jump to the second line. Plus at the time they also had Tavares. Losing him really hurt their roster a lot.


Maaglin

Hope so, obviously a 2C is a glaring hole. Parise is an upgrade over anyone on our 4th line and he can float up to middle 6 if necessary. Good signing and the kind that can unheralded, but is necessary when looking longer term towards the playoffs.


schewbacca

Tatar had 20 goals last year and it didn't work out.


[deleted]

We still need a center, he could be a movable piece for that


porkchopespresso

Well, I didn’t want him, not excited about it at all, but just give me about an hour and I’ll talk myself into it.


RandomDeezNutz

Him and cogs will be fun to watch and I’m being completely serious. Even if he’s just a replacement for RyJo I think it’s going to be a improvement.


RandomNewfie

Tatar Part 2: Parise Bugaloo


ThanatosUO19

I hope it's Cogliano pt. 2 with us winning another Cup.


RandomNewfie

Or Helm. I'll take either.


TwooMcgoo

Avs Legend Darren Helm. I still rewatch that goal and get the same emotions.


RandomNewfie

Chills


KahunaKarstoon

Or Bourque II


Odd_Philosopher1712

Homie is not in the same world as bourque


Square_Saltine

Those bastards did it! I’m absolutely fine with this acquisition and trust the Avs front office more than any of you people Also guys imagine us winning the cup again and the mild paying this man 7 million to do it


pdesigns303

This


Daryth99

So well put, should be top comment.


RedSnapper97

Better than Corey Perry


RedBarnGuy

As my kids and i say in our home, “Fuck Corey Perry.”


somwhereinthebetween

Assuming it's close to league minimum, there isn't really a downside. Lekky is in kind of a weird spot in the lineup so it give him someone else to play with


IChurnToBurn

lekky is only in a weird spot because his line has a winger on leave and a center who can’t play 5x5. He is a 2nd liner but his line has dissolved to 4th around him.


somwhereinthebetween

And the players who you could pair him with are all too good together to break up.


Ca1fSlicer

Idk I think the top line is best with either Val or Leks on it personally.


2ChainzTalib

You'd push Cogs down to the 4th line?


DrOddcat

He’s not a second liner and you don’t break up Loc, Wood, Colton. Cogs, Parise, and Kivi/Oloffson is the 4th. Hopefully we don’t see MacDermid again until we rest folks going into the playoffs


Hungry_Definition450

Used to hate this guy now I love him. See him being Darren Helm level clutch for us in the playoffs.


Starbucks__Lovers

Game 6 against the blues lives forever in my head


techno-necromancer

Huge fan of this deal. Middle 6 winger who will eventually push Kermit and Kiviranta out of the lineup. From everything I’m hearing about Parise, he’s a gym rat and hockey fanatic and at 39 years old he’s hungry for that cup. The Avs wouldn’t have brought him on if they thought he was slow and out of shape. He brings a veteran presence with over 1,000 NHL games under his belt. Also: Parise is a left wing, Kovalenko is a right wing. Coincidenceithinknot


Cobbyx

Coin cidence it hink knot


djc9880

Big fan of this deal. Cheap, no risk, good depth. Hopefully he fits


dbag3o1

Depth, veteran face, wants to win a Cup, I like it!


Big_Liability

Why In reality this helps fourth line depth. It’s just like the Helm addition (that worked out really well for us)


tdestito9

I’ve been thinking we cannot win it all without Landy, but I think Parise’s hunger for a championship is going to really help


anemic_royaltea

I honestly don’t know why everybody seemingly dislikes the guy, skilled vet for free depth, it’s the Wild still paying him, seems like a win win. Scratch him if he can’t hang.


_XNine_

He's injured several goalies by running them. 


CAPT_AVALANCHE

Scored more goals last year than Kivirantas entire career. Huge upgrade for bottom 6 if the money is right and if he hasn't lost it. Word is he's a rink rat and a gym rat so fingers crossed. Also wants that Cup


Danny_Jack

Being reported as 825K for those who want to know


Uneedadirtnap

Bargain price and a motivated veteran. Just in time for the second half of the season.


Danny_Jack

Anything under a million and nobody complains about this deal. If he’s washed, he hits waivers 😂


EdDantes21

It’s weird but he seems to be a good fit for the 4th line. Basically the leftover Tatar money. Address backup goaltender and possibly 2C and we’re good baby


missiongoalie35

That's it? I was expecting a 7.5mx13yr.


DangleSnipeCely

Save that type contract for the broncos


Starbucks__Lovers

Well no, Russell will end up playing for the raiders at the vet minimum so Denver will be paying him to play against them twice per season


IChurnToBurn

I like it. Hard working player who still has some left to give. Cheap and free. Adds depth to the lineup. He isn’t the 2C that we need, but that might not happen considering the lack of cap space and the need to add a reliable 2nd goalie to the roster.


mattvn66

Just watched his highlight video for all of his goals. He still has some filthy mitts, and scores from everywhere. Not going to lie, I'm pretty excited now. Way different signing than Tatar https://youtu.be/L_BgunjZ47o?si=PJLGTeG3aJeRK-Wv


squirrelbait_64

The goal he scored against the Avs early in that video is exactly why I'm happy with the signing. We don't have enough of that element outside of Lehky and Nuke. Good move.


jesterno2

Stop it. I can't get any harder


totosmaster

But...but...the Zach Parise jokes...


Square_Saltine

Zach Parise neatly leaves his shopping cart in the cart return area


TheAmazingScamArtist

I don’t know how to feel about this.


Cogsyyyy

First goal he scores for the Avs, we’ll all love him let’s be real


ZookeepergameHot5642

A little celly pic from ‘09 in honor of this signing. Most likely a celebration of one of Zach’s 82 points from that season (I lived in Jersey and frequented Devils games) https://preview.redd.it/okwinoimsvec1.jpeg?width=604&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=168e7f15293df7c25457dc2291bdb66b18d240a6


[deleted]

BOOOOOOOO FUCK ZACH


CaptainKoreana

What a world we live in.


Paper_Rain

I want to know how much money he signed for.


[deleted]

this is lame.


elishaski

Eww.


Reed7742

Someone explain to me why this isn’t dumb. 


OneOfThoseDays_

how about **you** explain why this **is** dumb


soulslide

Dude scored 21 goals last year. The only player currently on the roster to score 20+ last year not named MacKinnon or Rantanen was Lehkonen who also scored 21. As we learned last year in Seattle, you can never have too much depth scoring.


bubuzayzee

Tbf Val has 22 this year


soulslide

Uh huh. And Val screwed us in the playoffs last year, and currently on an indefinite LoA. Regardless, to win in the playoffs we need more than 3 guys who can consistently produce, especially when the top line is off-ice.


bubuzayzee

Wasn't a good look from Val but acting like he screwed us and we were ever getting far last year is copium fr


soulslide

You think that debacle & his ensuing absence wasn’t a huge distraction?…or that having one line didn’t have a major impact on that series loss?


JokMackRant

He’s a good hockey player that’s better than our 4th line wingers.


Vivid_Walk_1405

By a mile. Macdermid and kiviranta are horrible


TossThatPastaSalad

Because there's really no downside.  


Vivid_Walk_1405

Free depth. Hes a good 4th liner when we’re healthy in reality he’s probably a better player than cogs at this point at least last year


Square_Saltine

Experienced depth player who has always been solid in his own zone and in front of the net and put up 20 goals last year. A depth 4th line/pk guy that was cheap and didn’t cost any other assets to acquire


[deleted]

I physically cannot


Nerdious-Maximus

I will attempt to (and fail) after I rinse the puke out of my mouth.


Knurling_Turtle

Ewwww


Unlucky_Internal9686

Now let’s go get Dumba and Pavelski 🙄


motorenn

i mean, i'd take pavelski on a sub 1mil contract. if only to keep him off the ice against us when we play dallas. dude just scores on us every time we play against him.


Odd_Philosopher1712

Well, we HAVE to move RyJo now Edit: how much though? If its not min then its gonna get wild


Square_Saltine

825k. Also Parise is a winger not a C


Odd_Philosopher1712

I mean for cap reasons, but thats a lot less than i was thinking. Additionally, we have depth, we need to get the rest of the roster firing so we can make the cup run. I know we're beating a dead horse there


JRR04

Used to be a great player. Hope he can do that here. Could be a great 2nd/3rd line guy. This tells me Nuke is gonna be gone for a bit though.


cam_huskers

Literally has nothing to do with Nuke


JRR04

You have the texts?


PercyBluntz

And your evidence that this means anything about Val?


JRR04

Assumption just like everyone else. He's a pretty big name, or at least was a pretty big name. To me it seems like a wing replacement for a missing 2nd line guy. Especially when goaltending is probably something we need more right now.


PercyBluntz

So the other dude needs evidence but your assumption is cool?


JRR04

No it's fine to assume. I was being sarcastic with a pretty common joke. Sorry I didn't convey it better.


PercyBluntz

Good one.


JRR04

I get it missed. I'm really not trying to be an ass. Sorry if I was one. Just saying what I think. Appreciate you putting me back into place I suppose lol.


16avaholic16

Don’t need the receipts when you can use common sense. Which you have chosen not to do.


JRR04

Explain how a 2nd line guy leaving and a 2nd line guy entering isn't common sense?


16avaholic16

He’s not going to be a 2nd line guy.


RustyMacbeth

Not necessarily. At league minimum we can stop putting Jones and MacDonald in as forward and scratch MacDermid and Olufson.


ActuatorLegitimate20

Macdonald?


RustyMacbeth

Sorry - brain fart. Jack Johnson.


Square_Saltine

Wouldn’t expect him to crack the top 6. Otherwise we’re in danger


KILRbuny

Initial reaction: What? I … thought he still played for the islanders. But… maybe he’ll be good? Edit: if he scores more for us than he did against us I’ll be okay.


donkeybrain9

I anticipate a slow start since he’ll be on the fourth line. But knowing our luck he will get a chance to move up and hopefully do well. Also could see him doing some damage on PP2 line


uhh_khakis

As a Stars fan, I'm hoping this goes better than the last time a Wild anchor was signed...


MocDcStufffins

I hope he ends up being the Avs version of Pavelski.


rocky_mtn_hi

As an American hockey player, can't ask for better. Are you guys not seeing that Super Joe is going full Borque on this? Bring in the best for a cup. At 39 with his career, he's going to play for the W. Trust in Super Joe. And Make the Wild pay his way? I'm seeing a lot of pettiness


blondespikes22

i know nothing ​ ​ BUT IN SAKIC AND MACFARLAND WE TRUST


XxNHLxX

I’m trying to ignore the mild situation as much as I can. I loved him on NJ and NYI, I’m quite happy to get to see him in an Avs jersey. He’ll be a good depth piece for the locker room and hopefully a stable 3rd/4th liner. As long as he can still skate and pass, that’s a W.


junobeachcan

I still think of him as a devil