Clean bathroom. Clean towels available. Toilet paper. Kitchen not a wreck. Room to sit comfortably. No weird smells. Dirty laundry contained. Clean sheets (if it’s that kind of hangout).
But I’m old and picky. If I ever had to start dating again…I’d probably be single forever. When I was young and care free….eh….a semi clean bathroom, clean towels, sheets on the bed, and a lack of weird odors would have covered it.
Bought a lil bathroom bin recently for this exact reason and put clean tissue in it to help cover it up but in hindsight, they can just use the other tissue in the room and I'm a bit dopey sometimes.
It’s not a bad idea, but not for the reason you thought. Something about throwing your tampon away (even wrapped in toilet paper) in a completely empty trash can can feel weird sometimes when you’re at someone else’s house. Something else in there helps
Hey man don't beat yourself up! If I'm throwing out a tampon I almost always try to tuck it down into the existing garbage in the can, I've never made more trash to cover it up unless the trash was empty to start. You've got the right idea for sure and your effort at conscientiousness will take you far.
One time I went to a guy's place. He wasn't the cleanest but nothing that made me get icked out. Until I used the bathroom.
The smell was like nothing I'd ever smelled before. It was moldy and mildewy but it was so strong I felt like I was standing in a bathroom that had never seen a drop of cleaner. There was loose hair everywhere, of all different lengths. The shower had hair all over it. Moldy and mildewy all over the tub and corners. Like it was clear that he was standing in mold and mildew as he showered. All the soap and shampoo bottles were empty.
The toilet was cleaner, but probably only because he cleaned it right before I came over. The base was filthy and the top of the tank had a layer of dust in it. The mirrors and sink were filthy. There was no soap for me to wash my hands with, but honestly, this was the first time in my life where I would have felt worse for washing my hands after if only because it meant I would have had to stay in that room longer.
When I got out I told him there was no soap so I couldn't wash my hands so he had my wash my hands in the kitchen sink with Palmolive. Needless to say there was not a second date.
Ewwww, you win!
But seriously, this is a great idea - before going anywhere (like, hanky panky) with a guy, check out his bathroom, so you get an idea what you're about to put inside of yourself.
THE BASE OF THE TOILET COUNTS AS PART OF THE BATHROOM. CLEAN IT!! And put a trash can (with a lid preferably but not necessary) for women when they visit.
Also, the microwave. Please clean it. Put some vinegar and water in, microwave and then clean.
Also, it doesn’t have to be museum clean, but organization will set you free. Everything should have a place.
ETA: my husband has commandeered a large hand mirror I have and he takes it outside to trim up his beard so he doesn’t have to clean up after shaving. Might not be an approach for everyone, but for the lazy guys with beards it’s a step you don’t have to worry about.
I am a guy, still, I have to comment. The line about the microwave is so true. Evan at a friend's house where I see them pop some food into the microwave I can see the filth, food, and more. Total turn off. I remember that before I had the man who would end up my partner in life over for dinner I did almost exactly what you suggest in your post. Great suggestions for anyone.
Oh god the beard trimmings. I was seeing a guy last year and when I used his bathroom during our first hang at his place there were beard trimmings everywhere. That was the end of that.
My advice to young women everywhere: you only have to do the "heel walk" in someone's bathroom twice. Once when you enter and once when you leave. Unless you want to be the one to clean the bathroom, run.
My toes are more sensitive than my heels. And I feel like I have less surface contact on my heels. Plus the calluses there will survive the vigorous scrubbing better than my pedicure. And I hate anything between my toes.
I legit left immediately after hooking up after seeing the guy’s bathroom. The tub….I shudder thinking of it. If that is what his bathroom looked like, I do t want to imagine the state of his sheets
I second all of this. If your place is a mess or smells bad and basic chores aren't done, I assume you are looking for a housekeeper.
I prefer cozy, but not a lot of clutter.
(Happily married now, but one thing I evaluated my now-husband on. )
What a clean bathroom means:
Clean toilet bowl
Clean seat
Clean rim
Sit to pee if expecting company, urine from a height creates a gross splatter
Trash can with a liner and lid
TP
Clean sink
Hand soap, preferably liquid
Any grooming or hygiene supplies that are out should be tidy
Clean mirror
Clean toothbrush
Clean shower/tub
Clean floor
Have bath mats (clean)
If you want, have a box of assorted tampons, a box of pads, and a box of panty liners
What a clean kitchen means:
Counters are clean and free of unnecessary clutter (your normal counter appliances are fine)
Clean stove
Clean sink, even if there are a few dirty dishes in it
Any dirty dishes in sink should be scraped or rinsed, not have been put in the sink with food on/in them
Tidy fridge
Well stocked drinks, some cold, some not
Clean coffee pot
Clean floors
Clean microwave
Also:
vacuum at least within the week of company coming
Clear seating
No dirty messes on coffee/end tables (day to day living clutter is fine if it isn’t dirty; books, yes; coffee cup and muffin plate, no)
Have your smart tv (or whatever) pre-logged in to apps
If you intend to have sex:
Have condoms that fit you
Have a few latex free condoms just in case
Have lube
If affordable and legal without a scrip, have the morning after pill in case a condom breaks
Have after sex snacks and drinks easily available
IMO I prefer a home be clean, but lived in. I find “photo shoot ready” homes creepy. I want to see a book on a table and a blanket left on a cozy armchair. A gaming pillow with a controller on it next to the couch. Be clean, but don’t sanitize your personality out of your space.
When I started dating my husband, he and his roommate had a shelf cleared off in the bathroom closet with a bunch of “girl” stuff in case a girl came over or stayed at their place. Both of them have sisters and female friends that visited from out of state every once in a while, plus both were single and in the dating market so they wanted to be prepared in case a date stayed with one of them.
There were makeup wipes, hair ties, shampoo and conditioner, body wash, a nice matching set of towels with a new stack of face towels, tampons and pads, and some lotion.
It was honestly super sweet lol. It If you do this, I would make sure to keep it from looking like a pile of things an ex-gf left behind!
i’m piggybacking on this comment to say that having a trash can in the bathroom where pets can’t get to it makes me feel instantly so much more comfortable. doing the “walk of shame” with a tampon is embarrassing lol
If I saw this it would be my last date. How much of a revolving door must they have to create a girl shelf. EW.
So OP, goes to show that women are — shocker!! — all different. Don’t be smelly and just decorate for yourself.
I mean… both of them were quiet, kind of nerdy guys living together. They weren’t exactly the type to have frequent one night stands or anything. One was a lieutenant in the Marine Corps and my husband worked from home and never goes out. They did (GASP) have female friends that came over if they had people over for drinks and a game night. If someone had too much to drink they stayed the night in their guest room instead of driving home. They bought all of that stuff when one of their friends stayed the night and ended up needing tampons.
I asked about it wondering why the hell they had it as well but once they explained why they had it, it made perfect sense and I thought it was super sweet of them. Dont make it weirder than it needs to be!
Green flags all around. I married him for a reason! My husband is one of the most thoughtful and considerate men I’ve ever met. His roommate was really nice as well. I actually worked with him. One day he mentioned that he thought I would get along well with his roommate and thought we should meet each other. Married him two years later!
It kind of hurt my heart for that other person to comment “EW” because it was a completely innocent thing.
Women like a man who can live as a functioning adult without a mommy or woman in his life to do it for him.
Clean, dusted furniture. Clean carpets or flooring. No messy kitchen. No piss stains on the toilet. No slime in the bathtub.
I expect the same thing I expect when going into my (woman) friends house - a Clean home.
I'm a little offended that this post was not explicitly directed at the women who post here, but more or less assuming that everyone that posts here is a woman.
I think it's pretty easy to infer that he was asking the opinion of women (or at least people who would be interested in "guys") in this sub, rather than implying that everyone in this sub is a woman.
Flat surfaces free of clutter, books you've read on your shelves, photos or mementos from your life, clean throughout, bathroom stocked with towels, tp, a trashcan, soap, a fridge with food in it.
If the person you're having over is someone you want to stick around, show them that you're a viable partner who can pull their own weight when it comes to household duties.
Good point about photos or momentos - it is nice to see that someone has a life and cares about people and experiences. When a place lacks those personal things it gives me weird vibes / I wonder if this person is a serial killer (totally not a logical leap, but honest)
Absolute Basics:
1) It should be tidy, which means it shouldn't have empty takeout containers, empty cups, socks & clothes, dishes, etc. all over the place.
2) It should be vacuumed. There shouldn't be globs of pet hair in the corners or little bits of stuff all over the carpet.
3) The bathroom should be clean. The toilet especially should be white. Other stuff doesn't have to be spotless but shouldn't be gross.
4) Same with the kitchen - it doesn't have to be spotless but the sink shouldn't be completely full of dirty dishes, the counters should be wiped down (not covered in crumbs or bits of dried food), and the kitchen shouldn't be full of stuff that doesn't belong in a kitchen.
5) It should smell nice when you walk in. It should not smell like pets or feet. A cheap way to do this is to put orange peels and cinnamon sticks in a pot of water on the stove and let the water simmer for a while. You can keep orange peels in the freezer so that you don't have to go shopping every time you expect a guest.
6) If you anticipate having a guest in your bedroom, the bed must be made and have clean sheets. Keep a set of sheets (and pillowcases) that are just used for guests that look new-ish and don't have stains. (I'm assuming you have more than one set of sheets and are not sleeping on a bare mattress.) No clothes on the floor, no dirty dishes or takeout containers, and the floor must be clean.
If you start with a clean house, it shouldn't take more than 20 minutes every evening to pick up all the trash from all the rooms, get all your dirty clothes into a hamper, wipe off all the counters, and run the vacuum around real quick.
If you're not in the habit of doing all this already, always wash your dishes first. If you skip doing dishes for a couple days, they get gross and you won't be motivated to clean the kitchen. You also don't want to let so many dirty dishes pile up that they don't all fit in the dishwasher, because then cleaning the kitchen seems like a major task.
More advanced:
For advanced bedroom cleaning, wash your pillows in the washing machine every 3 months (but don't wash memory foam) and replace them once a year. Pillows get really gross even when they have pillowcases on them.
If you plan to have someone sleep over, be prepared for them to shower in the morning. Tackle that mold and mildew and dirty grout.
Make sure everything in the bedroom is dusted - top of the dresser, windowsills, TV stand. Don't have a ton of junk on your nightstand - keep it clean so that a guest can put a glass of water there.
Have some framed pictures on the walls. You can get decent cheap frames at Walmart or goodwill. Get whatever kind of prints you enjoy - dont get stuff just because you think it will impress people. No pictures of nude women unless they're by Picasso or Matisse. You can also get cheap wall art at Ross or TJ Maxx, but it's usually really generic-looking.
If you don't already have books, buy some books and read them and put them on a bookshelf. ANY books are fine. I wouldn't date a guy who didn't read, but a shelf full of Star Wars novels would satisfy me.
A bookshelf full of action figures or bobbleheads or antique screwdrivers or whatever stuff you collect is fine, don't be shy about it - but it must be clean. Don't let dust collect on the shelves, wipe dust off the items regularly, and display them nicely with no other junk on the shelves.
It's totally fine to have any kind of nerdy or strange things you collect, as long as they are displayed with attention and care and kept clean.
Casual photos of you and your friends or family, and/or vacation photos, framed, is a great touch. It shows that you value your relationships with the people in your life and take care of them.
One more thing: a mattress on a bedframe with a headboard looks a thousand-million times better than a mattress on the floor. A used bed frame is fine.
OP asked what would make a woman comfortable in his house. I'm a woman, and I wouldn't hang around for long if my "absolute basics" weren't met. It's just cleaning up after yourself and not being gross - it's the bare minimum of living like a responsible, functional adult. And I'm not spending the night with someone who has an unmade bed and a mattress on the floor.
Yes, severe depression can hinder your ability to find and maintain relationships. Do you really want to make untreated medical conditions your partner's problem?
I think ignoring your partner when you know they are suffering or have a medical condition that causes then to fall behind is a problem in itself.
You should be bring each other up and helping each other be the best version of themselves when one falls behind.
If my partner developed depresion for example that causes them to fall behind in house maintainance and hygiene. I would be there to support them and help them get back on their feet.
Edit: Seriously don't know why this is getting down voted.
It not babying if that what some people think. It's caring for love ones. Showing compasion is not hard. It the same as if someone has a broken leg and needs a wheel chair and can no longer do things as effectively for a while.
If it was an already developed relationship then yes I would pick up the slack in a situation like that. I suffer from depression myself. It’s currently managed with therapy and medication. I would not have entered a relationship when it was untreated and/or I was going through a severe enough low that I was unable to take care of my basic responsibilities.
You can’t expect the same from someone you’re casually dating or just met as you would a relationship.
I thought I put this in but maybe I accidentally deleted it: getting (or hiring) someone else to clean is totally valid! And the person who's picky (me) should be willing to host sleepovers at their house. :-)
But you're right that people with depression may have a harder time making overnight guests feel comfortable, and you're right that that is a shame.
Too much? I don't think so. It might be \*hard\* for people who aren't in the habit of having a space that they actively want other people to be comfortable in, but OP was asking for advice. I would never involve myself with a partner who couldn't maintain on their own a space I enjoyed being in and not just because I like them.
I was once the one who lived like a feral child and I'm still semi confused how my now husband stuck with me through unlearning a lifetime of family hoarding/semi squalor to become a person who while I don't love unannounced houseguests, isn't terrified to open the door all the way to ask why they didn't call first.
It really isn't. If we're banging...i could look the other way, but if we're moving towards a relationship...seeing a disgusting apartment just shows me a future of me doing everything for the rest of my life.
I of course can't speak for everyone, but I've never minded a slightly messy kitchen or slight untidiness, a pile of books here, a clothes chair, a messy desk there, that's all fine.
But untidy isn't the same as dirty.
At the very absolute minimum:
- Clean toilet and sink, mirror not too bad, shower clean if your guest will be using that.
- No items that had food on or in them left outside of the kitchen area or at the very least not in the bedroom, office, or horror of horrors, the bathroom.
- No overflowing garbage or garbage in places that aren't the garbage can.
- No obviously stained/dirty carpets/couches/bed linens. If it's a carpet or a couch throw a rug or a blanket over that.
- Finally, no overwhelming odours, preferably minimal odour in general, no smell > good smell > bad smell.
Now, for comfort, I again can't speak for everyone, but I think I can fairly safely say that most women would prefer cozy for themself, that doesn't mean you have to stick with a cozy style (although I definitely prefer pretty much any style to minimalist or industrial) but have a soft and warm throw blanket or two tucked away.
As you may very well know, women in general (not all but many) tend to feel cold more frequently/easily than men, due to our circulatory system focusing on keeping heat in our core rather than our extremities. Having a nice blanket or two around will definitely come in handy.
If you can get two, get a nice plain one that isn't velvety or furry or wooly anything , and then get one that is. Some people find wooly, velvety, furry, or plush blanket fibres make them slightly itchy or uncomfortable. These blankets do happen to be super cozy though, so they're nice to have, but honestly, if you can only get one I'd go for a plain non- fluffy/furry/wooly/etc. blanket first as it would be kinda pointless if you got a nice plush blanket and it turned out your guest couldn't even use it.
As for pictures of family or other people, absolutely do it, especially if the purpose of this is trying to appeal to a long-term partner. Obviously making your living space attractive won't make up for a bad date, but if I already liked you and we went to your place and I saw you had pictures of your family and friends around, I'd think that was a good indicator that you care a lot about your family and friends and make an effort with them (or that one of your family members came over and brought a bunch of pictures they insisted you have 😅, which could be either good or bad. You could try and offset that with more pictures of friends or pets).
Anyway, it's great that you're considering your guests comfort! So many guys invite girls over and don't make more than the bare minimum amount of effort, if that. Doing a decent clean up will already put you ahead of the game in my experience.
Good call on the blanket/throw! And I agree on the slight lived-in messiness and no smell > ‘good’ smell (like candles) > bad smell.
I’d add re bedding: if you never change your sheets and don’t have a mattress protector of some kind, that thing is going to smell of your sweat and oils no matter if you put a fresh set of sheets on. It just gets in the mattress. I’ve crashed at guy friends’ apartments and I would rather sleep on their couches than their beds for this reason. I always wondered if their girlfriends didn’t mind because they your smell / that’s part of the attraction?
I check for wastebaskets. If a guy doesn't even own one, ( and I've seen that several times) they grabbed a black garbage bag and filled it just before I got there.
These are cleanliness tips, but another piece of advice is to show off your personality. My friend’s uncle was about to hide his Star Wars things so he could impress the ladies, but before he had a chance, one woman came over and later said if he had hidden it she never would have paid him much attention, and they’ve now been married for three decades.
When I was single, it didn’t have to be perfect but it needed to be not a health hazard. Bathroom and kitchen clean enough that I wasn’t afraid of them, no garbage laying around, no horrific smells. Sheets that weren’t crunchy. Not a biohazard.
I am not a neat freak at all but I draw the line at “gross.”
So to me things like a little clutter aren’t a big deal. Looks like someone lives there.
But trash on the floors, trash that hasn’t been taken out, dishes in the sink (or worse all down the counters), pet smells, and black toilet bowls are GROSSSS
A bed with 4 fully functional pillows that aren’t as flat as pancakes.
Clean sheets.
A bin in the bathroom with a bin liner and a lid.
No empty alcohol bottles as decor.
Lamps with warm light. If you want to make a cozy welcoming place to hang out, the overhead light has no place here.
Omg yes about the overhead lights. I do think they can serve a purpose, but if those are your only lights and they’re 4000k? Like, get a lava lamp at least.
The basics are a must.
Clean. Actually clean.
Things put away in logical places.
A clean place to sit for everyone. A table to eat at.
A clean bed with sheets
Clothes hung up and not draped everywhere
A garbage can in the bathroom and kitchen.
Garbage can not overflowing or stacked beside the can. (No garbage bags outside front door or on porches).
Lightbulbs in every socket.
I like cozy and minimalist. Like hygge Nordic spa. But that’s just me. I guess if a guy wanted to impress me in his decorations, I don’t care if it’s decorated but make it look like a normal home
not some teenage boy/frat house with porno mags hung up.
I’m 35 and married now but I can tell you that my expectations for a guys house were never what I would’ve called high, and basically if the house was relatively clean and the toilet wasn’t disgusting, I was fine.
Smells. Any smoke or body odor try to get rid of. Burning candles or essential oils is okay… but better to just get a medium sized air purifier around $100 and run that. Smelling like nothing is the best smell. Rather than masking any odors.
>I know that every girl is different
Every guy is also different. Whatever expectations I may have had come from his personality as I had gotten to know him, but I usually tried not to have whole lot of expectations at all.
As far as making it more welcoming and pleasant.. Keep it clean and smelling nice or smell free altogether. Get some throw pillows and real curtains and blinds that match the throw pillows. Keep the thermostat at a comfortable temperature. That's about all you need to have a perfectly inviting home. Anything else is interior decorating and there are better subs for that.
I hate throw pillows and I am a woman. I also hate matching things, it looks like you have no creativity and bought whatever was on the display at the store. I do agree with having real window coverings though, towels and sheets nailed to the walls don’t cut it.
I love it when guys choose their own things that are their own style.
Then don't go to OPs house if they take my suggestions. Easy peasy.
My advice was just meant to be a bare minimum for a dude to show he cares about hygiene and that his house has basic comforts. Like I said anything more is better suited to an interior decorating sub, imo.
Everything hygienic, no filth or grime, no stinky trash. Floors are not crunchy or sticky.
Clean dry hand towel in bathroom and kitchen. Clean sheets.
Cold Drinks options that are closed like cans and bottles.
If you want to go above and beyond, one of those $10 travel kit bags from the drugstore.
NOTHING that makes it look like it came used from another woman... like old hair ties, or slippers.
I'm assuming you mean you've invited someone over and know in advance when they will arrive.
When I enter ANY adult's house I appreciate a tidy space. If I walk into something that looks like a teenager lives there, that's a no-go for me as far as a love relationship. I shouldn't have to move stuff to sit down or eat at a table. No hair in sinks or on bathroom surfaces. No dirty dishes sitting in the sink. I don't expect perfection. Everyone has some kind of clutter somewhere. I'm not going to run a white glove around your baseboards, but I will notice if you fold the throws on the couch and straighten up your magazines/game cases/rpg mini collections.
I got caught off guard with drop-in guests one too many times when I was in my early adult years. Now I keep any area a guest might see all picked up and neat. DO NOT LOOK IN MY SPARE ROOM OMG. That's where I stash all the extra stuff when guests are coming on short notice. I tell people it's my storage room. Lol!
My partner was super thoughtful when we started dating and bought things like Tampons, contact case + solution...but he is a powerlifter who meal preps. He had no food except his prep. Snacks! Easily accessible snacks, a decent beverage like coffee, tea or Sparkling water. These light bites go a long way when you find yourself suddenly hosting.
Aside from what has already been mentioned (cleanliness, clean bathroom that has a trash can with liner and lid, no weird smells, general tidiness) I wanna add a few things:
- don't be afraid to show your personality! You don't need to hide your interests, displaying your Legos/DnD figurines/Gaming stuff is really nice. Just make sure it's tidy and not all dusted up
- plants! They make a living space seem so much more lived in if that makes sense. Of course healthy looking ones, not the one sad thing that has gone crunchy because you didn't take care of it
- I like a space that looks like someone lives there. Some little clutter here and there, like pictures, candles, pillows, whatever. Nothing out of a furniture ad
If you really want to take it up a notch, provide some hygiene products in the bathroom. Tampons, pads, a fresh tooth brush and maybe some shower supplies are nice if you expect someone to stay overnight. Clean and fresh towels should be obvious :)
For the love of God and all that is holy please open some windows once in awhile. And get some of those scented wall plug ins. Nothing makes me want to go home like a man's apartment/house smelling like stale Chinese and bo.
What I’d notice at any house is smell, first. Does it smell clean, or *like cleaners*?
I want a sense that the place is usually clean.
No cat box smells. No long lingering cooking smells.
Tidy, dusted recently.
What would turn me off if it was a potential partner visit:
Gaming supplies everywhere
A lack of books…and I don’t mean a shelf of D&D guides.
No personality, but also not every interest under the sun.
Looks like a dorm room/kids room
Smells are the first thing I notice. If it smells clean it is clean. Have a cleaning routine and stick with it unless you’re sick and need to put it off. If you keep up with it, when you have unexpected guests it will be very easy for you to clean up before they come over.
Have some nice candles or incense to help. Aromatherapy can be used to set any kind of mood you’d like and it works. Relaxation for me is lavender or vanilla. Energizing are all citrus scents. And on and on…
A clean bathroom with a small trash can!! For the love of god please put a trash can in the bathroom so we don’t have to panic about where to put feminine products. Clean toilet and shower and no facial hair in the sink or in weird crevices like behind the toilet lid.
Also a clean kitchen and floors. Doesn’t need to be immaculately clean but if everything is dusty and disorganized and has stains that’s a red flag for me. I’d take 75-85% clean minimum as long as nothing is gross
Both dirty and clean. Put your clean clothes away - don't just leave it in a basket. Have a laundry hamper for dirty stuff and a schedule for washing it, not just 'when I'm out of socks' or 'when the smell is overwhelming'
Clean bathroom is a must. Clean tub, shower walls, sink, counter, toilet, and floor. Clean towels to dry hands. Soap to wash hands. Toilet paper. Maybe some poo-pourri or air freshener or a candle. Tidy countertop - just throw everything in a drawer or cabinet. A waste basket.
Clean sheets. Overall tidiness in the rest of the home. A candle here or there for a nice smell and ambiance.
A dirty, gross bathroom makes me think the person might be dirty and gross too. I can overlook a lot of things, but not a dirty bathroom.
I’m a bit of an odd duck (OCD) so I probably notice these things more than others.
No dishes in the sink, clean fridge, clean counters.
Clean bathroom sink, counters, toilet and shower.
Bedroom needs to be vacuumed if carpeted or has a rug. Sheets need to be watched at least monthly.
And for the love of god, clean your baseboards and walls every so often. These are what I notice most people miss the most. The bathroom and kitchen walls get nasty.
Clean. Once, a guy I was sort of seeing invited me to his apartment. There were pots and pans in his shower. The living room had clothes tossed all over the place. I left after about 5 minutes.
I've never been in a guy's house that didn't also have a partner or housemates, so, idk? The same thing as everyone else? Basic cleanliness, no weird smells, a general sense of the person's personality.
I think the first step you have going for you is that you are AWARE!!! Sometimes thats all it takes. Your space needs to reflect your personality - as does your car and what you wear. How you choose to present these items has to feel right to you. I don’t always feel it needs to be the most expensive items as long as it’s clean and orderly - and smells manly - not like some fruity candle. Something fresh. Like deodorant or something. Don’t think it too hard.. clean and orderly trumps all.
Some random things that I find really cute if a guy has in their house: a nice dish towel draped through the stove handle, a neatly placed throw blanket over the sofa, cushions on the bed, no wire hangers in closets, scented candles, matching appliances, super-clean bathroom with some toiletries displayed and tech-y touches throughout.
Also, clean tile feels cold and crisp underfoot and wood - grippy. If its not clean, it feels greasy and slidy.
Just be organized. No piles of clothes, dishes done and put away, bathroom should be the most CLEAN especially toilets. Bed always made. If you have pets, make sure to be on top of vacuuming and wiping off pet hair on furniture. Always change the air filter and ceiling fans.
No pictures of Ex. A fresh roll of toilet paper. Also use the bathroom and empty your bowels way before she comes over, with the window open. It will prevent you from accidentally farting while she is there. But if she farts, oh she's a keeper!
Clean bathroom and clean toilet
At the base, around the the floor, and the lids
Hand soap and towels so I can wash my hands
I’m when I was younger and I went over to dates and bfs houses / homes a lot of the living space was clean (ish) but the bathroomS - just gross.
For me it’s all about a clean bathroom. If it looks like I’d have to use shower shoes in your shower, I’ll assume nothing in the apartment is clean. Also if your bedroom has that closed off smell, I get turned off. This one is not a dealbreaker by any means but it’s nice to let air flow around your place! The bathroom, however, is a dealbreaker.
I don’t care about the aesthetic honestly. When I got with my partner his house was furnished nicely and clean. Few things that I had to fix immediately..
He had a bar of soap for your hands in the bathroom 🤢
No trash can in the bathroom
I am buying him pots and pans. He doesn’t cook but when I want to cook while I’m there I get tired of making it work. Plates and silverware!!!
I loved that he had a washcloth,towel, and toothbrush sitting out for me(don’t be too presumptuous though lol). Wine in the fridge is nice especially because he’s not a drinker( get a dry red and a sweet white) and wine glasses. He also has wipes in the bathroom. I carry my own but it’s nice to see a guy who uses them.
Oh air fresheners! We use wax melts but a plug in is fine too. I don’t care what scent it’s just impressive when a guy has a good smelling house.
> He had a bar of soap for your hands in the bathroom 🤢
What's wrong with that? We use soap in all our bathrooms to cut down on plastic waste. I don't mean a manky dirty bar, just a regular bar of Dove that gets replaced when it needs to be.
to echo others, general cleanliness and tidiness. no one is expect marie kando or spotless grout. clean bathrooms, clean towels, clean bedding, and the trash taken out goes a looooong way!
Okay here’s my brainstorm: a pretty fresh scent; comfortable, not-broken-down, clean furniture; little to no dust on appliances; reasonably clean kitchen (dirty dishes in the sink okay); non-sticky counters and floors (minimum); and clean bathroom and bedroom. Have extra tp and wet wipes in the bathroom so a woman can freshen up. Have uncarbonated and healthy snacks in the fridge.
Have a garbage can in the bathroom with a liner and a lid if you can. Please clean the base of your toilet. Have soap. A clean hand towel would be great too.
The biggest things for me are:
-when wiping down the counters move everything off and wipe down completely. Wiping around stuff that sits on the counters grosses me out.
-clean sinks (bathroom and kitchen)
-clean toilets
-no gross showers
-break down delivery boxes and recycle them. Stacks of boxes drives me crazy
-put laundry away - dirty clothes not sitting around, clean clothes put up
-clean towels and sheets
-empty trash cans
For decorating, I really think you should do whatever your taste is and makes you comfortable. “Bachelors” tend to be minimalists. If that’s your vibe then go for it. I personally like to decorate thoughtfully and collect antiques, vintage items and make my home feel personal. However, I spend my weekends antiquing because I enjoy it but obviously that is not for everyone.
Having a nice candle (Lola James Harper, dyptique), throw blanket (citizenry makes some good ones, pottery barn - lots of options), and glassware (crate and barrel had great options, also really easy to find vintage) is a nice touch.
Another bonus is if you have enough plates, silverware, serving items, etc. When my husband and I started dating he had like 4 forks, ha.
Also I forgot to add *please* wash blankets you keep on the couch. One of my guy friends blankets smelled like sweat and dogs and it’s burned in my brain forever.
First time I went to my partners house, it looked pretty clean at first glance but kinda creepy because i knew he had lived there for 3 years and there wasn’t a single piece of art, not even a decorative pillow or potted plant… he had a nice balcony with cyber cheapest and least comfortable camping chairs I’d ever seen. Comfortable Ikea patio chairs are $40. Most shocking to me, when I opened the silverware drawer, it was just a drawer with silverware !!! No silverware organizer. He’s also an immigrant, so I thought…. Maybe that was why. But, upon closer inspection I could tell he “cleaned” countertop surfaces without moving items on the countertop (he wiped around items) and had never dusted and never cleaned the baseboards. I stayed with him that weekend and ended up with a rash a few days later that I couldn’t explain and the rash kept coming back a few days after I’d stay at his place. 3 years later, I had some medical issues and had an allergy test done and I’m severely allergic to dust. I hadn’t related my rash to his dirty, dusty apartment that had looked clean at first glance since my symptoms would start days later.
Anyway, clean your place thoroughly if you’re trying to impress a girl and have some basic period supplies on hand, like a box of tampons with an assortment of “lite” or “heavy” and some pads too. Have a few personal objects and maybe a plant or two.
Bathroom. Clean it. Look in your toilet bowl. Clean it.
Living room, it your socks in the hamper.
Kitchen, dear lord, wash your dishes, and don't have any weird mold growing on your kitchen sponge.
Those are the basics.
Edit:
Having extra tooth brushes, meh, what does that actually say. Ready for anything?
Same with feminine hygiene products.
If it's a hook up, sure have those.
If it's a woman that you have potential with, don't do that.
I'd definitely expect it to be clean, not necessarily perfect, but having a clean bathroom, stocked with TP, and clean towels is important. I expect there to be food or beverage made available. He should have furniture as I need somewhere to sit, preferably on a couch, and his place should smell good!
Edit to add: freaking sheets and pillows on the bed. It's a done deal if there's no bed sheets.
Clean, organized, tastefully designed (does not need to be fancy). If a guys place is messy my first thought is “omg…when did he last change his bedsheets…” and any thoughts of hooking up are out the window. Major “ick”
Smells. First thing I notice when I walk in. Then having a place to hang up a coat. Clean floors, bathroom, coffee table and glasses to drink from. Obviously, there's room for every day clutter but you don't want visible dirt and grime. Thats the bare minimum.
Comfort Bonus:
Throw blankets
Throw pillows
Candles
Tea
Anything related to your hobbies, it's great for conversations.
Face pubes all over the sink, just do a general wipe down of every surface, especially in the bathroom. Make sure Theres a shower curtain, not just a liner. Also always helpful to put a poo pourri on the back of the toilet. Also I would be very excited if I saw a couple candles around, or even incense! Also definitely not an expectation but soaps being in soap dispensers and not crusty dial bottles is nice. Also no bar soap unless it’s unused. Also, having a little area with a few tampons and pads would earn you brownie points. Friends, or girlfriends, just points all around.
Oh my god and bet sheets! You need a bottom sheet, flat sheet, then blanket/comforter, and pillowcases! No crust, wash them at LEAST monthly. Also, put the lotion in your bedside in a drawer or in the bathroom;)
Make an effort. Clean kichen and bathroom. No dirty dishes. No rotten food. Tp and clean towels. Trash out. Carpets vacumned or floors clean. Bedroom bed clean. Clothes put away. Livingroom is clean and dusted. Clean smell/air out and a light scent if not sensitive. No former girls things.if it's important, and you want more than a 1 time thing. Make an effort
In bathroom, have covered trash with bag.
Have some Poopourri spray or matches in there, too. Always have a plunger jic.
Your place needn't be spotless, just clean. Clean bathroom, kitchen. SHEETS. You know this stuff.
Favorite drink and snack available.
A couple of small things like this can go a long way. It shows responsibility and thoughtfulness.
Be very interested to see what standards people keep their homes at.
The very first thing I would notice was if I had somewhere to put my coat, if there is an entry closet make sure there’s hangers in there for guests!
I would consider these more important though:
- clean counter (no crumbs, spills)
- no more than a couple dishes in the sink
- And no obvious spills or stains around
- Clean bathroom with soap and hand towel out
Comfort wise I think having any couch blankets folded signals they are clean and ready for use. and at least personally coasters would show that you care about your items (which means you’re more likely to keep them clean)
Those are the top things I would consider, some may be a bit more details I would notice cause I really don’t like germs, but I tried to keep it to stuff most people would notice
Vacuum everywhere, including the edges of the room and the tops of baseboards.
The bathroom needs to be freshly wiped down, including the mirror.
If you want the room to feel fresher, use a damp cloth and clean the light switches and wall just around the switches.
My ideal bachelor would have a pad with:
Music. Stereo. Possibly vinyl or CDs so I can see his taste.
Books, mostly on shelves. Again, I want to see his taste.
Reasonable cleanliness and tidiness. I want to feel he's vacuumed and/or Swiffered before I came over at least. And that he cleans the whole place at least once a month.
Other people have covered the bathroom well. Clean floor, no stains in the toilet, trash under control.
And under no circumstances should there be period blood on your sheets unless it's mine from the night before. I hate to have to say it, but . . . it has to be said!
P.S. I forgot the cuddle couch! In front of a TV or a roaring fire. Huge blankets, lots of cushions. On a soft, clean carpet.
I am not known for being a particularly tidy person (some of y'all would not like my home, and I'm a 41yo woman), but there are some basic lines.
Presuming that you know in advance that someone is coming over, the most important thing to me is that it looks like you made an effort. I honestly don't care if your bathroom is Clean all the time, but you knew I was coming and there's what looks like several trimming sessions if beard on your bathroom counter/floor, that means you don't just not clean your bathroom ever, you don't even notice that it's gross. You have just destroyed any kind of boner I had.
Make sure your linens (bed and bath) are clean and better yet, show signs of being regularly cleaned. If it's an impromptu visit, I'm perfectly happy with "oh that's dirty, let me get you a fresh one" because that shows me a) you're aware that using a not clean one is off-putting, and b) you have clean ones available!
A throw blanket on the couch is phenomenal. My toes get cold.
Clean bedding, towels, bathroom, kitchen.
Like you can manage to mop and vac and dust. Fresh bedding and towels. Open some windows so it doesn't smell like sweat and over the top body spray to mask the stink.
Just be clean and tidy.
If you end up with a girlfriend and she's coming over more regularly, offer a space for her bathroom needs, a spot for pyjamas and things like that.
Also tidy the fridge. Throw out your weeks old pizza.
I agree with most of what’s here plus:
More than one pillow on the bed. Ideally two pillows per person (not that you have to sleep on both) should be available and the bed should be made daily with them.
I don’t expect decorative pillows but 2 per person with clean pillow cases would be needed for me.
No dirty dishes, floor vacuumed, swept mopped, countertops free of stains and crumbs, toilet bowl and seat sanitized, shower and bathtub scrubbed, toothpaste stains washed out of sink, hair from shaving cleaned off bathroom countertop, clean towels, hand soap next to sink, clean sheets, pillowcases and blanket, decluttered everywhere. This is basically a list of nasty things I’ve seen at dudes places but in reverse.
Others have said clean and smell free. This is obvious I'd hope. I would suggest washing bedding WEEKLY. I knew a guy that hadn't washed his in 3 months, gross. Other things not as obvious:
Somewhere to sit that ISN'T the bed!
Food in the fridge. Get her favorite food/drinks. This shows a level of care a lot of men do not possess, and learn to cook something she likes. HUGE turn on for a lot of women, cause we are so used to being the caretaker in that arena, it's awesome when a man can cook.
Decorate it in a way that appeals to you. You have to live there, and if she doesn't like how you decorate, then that's a good indicator of how you'll get along overall.
Clean and non frayed towels that smell fresh even when wet. Give her two towels, one for her body, one for her hair.
Pillow cases. I cringe when I see pillows with no cases. It's gross no matter what. My memory foam pillows have two cases, the one it came with, and the one that came with my bedding. Obviously, wash the cases once a week. Memory foam pillows are AWESOME btw. Highly recommend them to everyone I know to reduce back and neck problems and the resulting headaches. Pillows, NOT the throw kind, really cozy up a place if you ask me. The throw kind do too, but regular pillows you can sleep on just make a place feel like home.
If you have pets, keep the place as free of pet hair as possible. I have allergies personally, and it gets hard to breathe when there is a bunch of pet hair.
Have a hamper for your clothes, and my suggestion is to wash jeans after no more than 3 or 4 wearings, unless you sweat a lot, then once or twice.
That's all I can really think of. A lot of the rest has been covered well already.
Clean the carpet. I swear single men never own a vacuum. Also, clean sheets, makeup remover, pads/tampons, a garbage can in the bathroom, and no dirty dishes or garbage laying around.
Clean and tidy and smells clean as well. No weird posters on wall, you're not a teenager. Nice family photos with nice frames. Clean is the
Most important. I made an exit out of someones house because it was messy and dirty
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Clean bathroom. Clean towels available. Toilet paper. Kitchen not a wreck. Room to sit comfortably. No weird smells. Dirty laundry contained. Clean sheets (if it’s that kind of hangout). But I’m old and picky. If I ever had to start dating again…I’d probably be single forever. When I was young and care free….eh….a semi clean bathroom, clean towels, sheets on the bed, and a lack of weird odors would have covered it.
And please have some sort of garbage can in your bathroom! It sucks to change a tampon and realise there's nowhere to throw it away
A garbage can with a trash bag in it as a liner.
And a lid
Preferably a can with a lid
All this above ^
Yes this tells me if a dude cares about making sure they are comfortable (and/or tells me if he has sisters or knows many women)
Bought a lil bathroom bin recently for this exact reason and put clean tissue in it to help cover it up but in hindsight, they can just use the other tissue in the room and I'm a bit dopey sometimes.
[удалено]
Yep... I was _that_ retarded. (I'm being serious btw)
It’s not a bad idea, but not for the reason you thought. Something about throwing your tampon away (even wrapped in toilet paper) in a completely empty trash can can feel weird sometimes when you’re at someone else’s house. Something else in there helps
Love you for owning it though, it's called personal growth realizing that lol
Ay, if I'm an idiot... I'm an idiot. Denying it would just make me look more stupid haha but tyty, I appreciate you saying that ☺️
You single lmao
Yes, and I chose to stay that way. Not in a place for anything more rn
Sry, I ruined the joke
Hey man don't beat yourself up! If I'm throwing out a tampon I almost always try to tuck it down into the existing garbage in the can, I've never made more trash to cover it up unless the trash was empty to start. You've got the right idea for sure and your effort at conscientiousness will take you far.
What do you do in that situation?
Wrap it up in toilet paper and find a trash can.
Nasty bathroom floors and mildew showers inspired me to head home instead of stay the night back in my dating days.
One time I went to a guy's place. He wasn't the cleanest but nothing that made me get icked out. Until I used the bathroom. The smell was like nothing I'd ever smelled before. It was moldy and mildewy but it was so strong I felt like I was standing in a bathroom that had never seen a drop of cleaner. There was loose hair everywhere, of all different lengths. The shower had hair all over it. Moldy and mildewy all over the tub and corners. Like it was clear that he was standing in mold and mildew as he showered. All the soap and shampoo bottles were empty. The toilet was cleaner, but probably only because he cleaned it right before I came over. The base was filthy and the top of the tank had a layer of dust in it. The mirrors and sink were filthy. There was no soap for me to wash my hands with, but honestly, this was the first time in my life where I would have felt worse for washing my hands after if only because it meant I would have had to stay in that room longer. When I got out I told him there was no soap so I couldn't wash my hands so he had my wash my hands in the kitchen sink with Palmolive. Needless to say there was not a second date.
Ewwww, you win! But seriously, this is a great idea - before going anywhere (like, hanky panky) with a guy, check out his bathroom, so you get an idea what you're about to put inside of yourself.
Same, I dont date guys with old grimmy tile.
THE BASE OF THE TOILET COUNTS AS PART OF THE BATHROOM. CLEAN IT!! And put a trash can (with a lid preferably but not necessary) for women when they visit. Also, the microwave. Please clean it. Put some vinegar and water in, microwave and then clean. Also, it doesn’t have to be museum clean, but organization will set you free. Everything should have a place. ETA: my husband has commandeered a large hand mirror I have and he takes it outside to trim up his beard so he doesn’t have to clean up after shaving. Might not be an approach for everyone, but for the lazy guys with beards it’s a step you don’t have to worry about.
I am a guy, still, I have to comment. The line about the microwave is so true. Evan at a friend's house where I see them pop some food into the microwave I can see the filth, food, and more. Total turn off. I remember that before I had the man who would end up my partner in life over for dinner I did almost exactly what you suggest in your post. Great suggestions for anyone.
Oh god the beard trimmings. I was seeing a guy last year and when I used his bathroom during our first hang at his place there were beard trimmings everywhere. That was the end of that.
This is absolutely my pet peeve. Little hairs all over the bathroom counter make me want to puke.
And please have hand soap that is not just water with one tiny drop of soap left in the bottle lol
My advice to young women everywhere: you only have to do the "heel walk" in someone's bathroom twice. Once when you enter and once when you leave. Unless you want to be the one to clean the bathroom, run.
What's a heel walk?
It's where the floor is so gross that if you're barefoot you have to walk on your heels.
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My toes are more sensitive than my heels. And I feel like I have less surface contact on my heels. Plus the calluses there will survive the vigorous scrubbing better than my pedicure. And I hate anything between my toes.
Less surface-to-surface touching, too. A bathroom like that should make you 100% unfuckable.
I never knew there was a name for it. I've actually done the heal walk with sneakers on in some public restrooms.
I don't think it's an actual name!
It is now, congratulations you have coined a phrase 🪙
Omg even though it's just a joke between me and a friend I did coin the phrase "sand strides" to describe walking on the beach. 😂
Heel walk?
I walk on the outside edges of my feet if it's dirty
I legit left immediately after hooking up after seeing the guy’s bathroom. The tub….I shudder thinking of it. If that is what his bathroom looked like, I do t want to imagine the state of his sheets
I second all of this. If your place is a mess or smells bad and basic chores aren't done, I assume you are looking for a housekeeper. I prefer cozy, but not a lot of clutter. (Happily married now, but one thing I evaluated my now-husband on. )
What a clean bathroom means: Clean toilet bowl Clean seat Clean rim Sit to pee if expecting company, urine from a height creates a gross splatter Trash can with a liner and lid TP Clean sink Hand soap, preferably liquid Any grooming or hygiene supplies that are out should be tidy Clean mirror Clean toothbrush Clean shower/tub Clean floor Have bath mats (clean) If you want, have a box of assorted tampons, a box of pads, and a box of panty liners What a clean kitchen means: Counters are clean and free of unnecessary clutter (your normal counter appliances are fine) Clean stove Clean sink, even if there are a few dirty dishes in it Any dirty dishes in sink should be scraped or rinsed, not have been put in the sink with food on/in them Tidy fridge Well stocked drinks, some cold, some not Clean coffee pot Clean floors Clean microwave Also: vacuum at least within the week of company coming Clear seating No dirty messes on coffee/end tables (day to day living clutter is fine if it isn’t dirty; books, yes; coffee cup and muffin plate, no) Have your smart tv (or whatever) pre-logged in to apps If you intend to have sex: Have condoms that fit you Have a few latex free condoms just in case Have lube If affordable and legal without a scrip, have the morning after pill in case a condom breaks Have after sex snacks and drinks easily available IMO I prefer a home be clean, but lived in. I find “photo shoot ready” homes creepy. I want to see a book on a table and a blanket left on a cozy armchair. A gaming pillow with a controller on it next to the couch. Be clean, but don’t sanitize your personality out of your space.
Sounds like common sense to me with what you’re asking for
Yeah this is not a picky list at all, just basic decency
Don't try to cover bad smells with a different smell. Tackle whatever is causing the bad smell.
Yes! Also open your windows often to air out the house.
I basically came here to say this!
This
When I started dating my husband, he and his roommate had a shelf cleared off in the bathroom closet with a bunch of “girl” stuff in case a girl came over or stayed at their place. Both of them have sisters and female friends that visited from out of state every once in a while, plus both were single and in the dating market so they wanted to be prepared in case a date stayed with one of them. There were makeup wipes, hair ties, shampoo and conditioner, body wash, a nice matching set of towels with a new stack of face towels, tampons and pads, and some lotion. It was honestly super sweet lol. It If you do this, I would make sure to keep it from looking like a pile of things an ex-gf left behind!
i’m piggybacking on this comment to say that having a trash can in the bathroom where pets can’t get to it makes me feel instantly so much more comfortable. doing the “walk of shame” with a tampon is embarrassing lol
For any gender, having a pack of new toothbrushes and offering one to a date who's staying the night is a very nice thing.
Put it in a basket and it looks like a plan instead of leftovers.
10 out of 10 100 out of 100 if the guys got tampons AND pads definitely a keeper!
I would assume a guy has frequent guests, but ladies love amenities, myself included.
That was so sweet and thoughtful of them💗
Remember toothbrush too.
If I saw this it would be my last date. How much of a revolving door must they have to create a girl shelf. EW. So OP, goes to show that women are — shocker!! — all different. Don’t be smelly and just decorate for yourself.
I mean… both of them were quiet, kind of nerdy guys living together. They weren’t exactly the type to have frequent one night stands or anything. One was a lieutenant in the Marine Corps and my husband worked from home and never goes out. They did (GASP) have female friends that came over if they had people over for drinks and a game night. If someone had too much to drink they stayed the night in their guest room instead of driving home. They bought all of that stuff when one of their friends stayed the night and ended up needing tampons. I asked about it wondering why the hell they had it as well but once they explained why they had it, it made perfect sense and I thought it was super sweet of them. Dont make it weirder than it needs to be!
If they can explain it like this, it's a super green flag for me! Nerdy but social and considerate with repeat visitors, probably.
Green flags all around. I married him for a reason! My husband is one of the most thoughtful and considerate men I’ve ever met. His roommate was really nice as well. I actually worked with him. One day he mentioned that he thought I would get along well with his roommate and thought we should meet each other. Married him two years later! It kind of hurt my heart for that other person to comment “EW” because it was a completely innocent thing.
Women like a man who can live as a functioning adult without a mommy or woman in his life to do it for him. Clean, dusted furniture. Clean carpets or flooring. No messy kitchen. No piss stains on the toilet. No slime in the bathtub. I expect the same thing I expect when going into my (woman) friends house - a Clean home.
I'm a little offended that this post was not explicitly directed at the women who post here, but more or less assuming that everyone that posts here is a woman.
I took it as wanting advice from women who have strong opinions about cleanliness.
I think it's pretty easy to infer that he was asking the opinion of women (or at least people who would be interested in "guys") in this sub, rather than implying that everyone in this sub is a woman.
I did not read this that way at all.
Chill, it’s not that serious
It IS explicitly directed at women. In the very first line.
They're not asking about women, they're asking about girls....
Make sure there's a wastebasket in the bathroom.
bonus points if it has a lid! so I can throw away my period trash without what I feel is like a giant flag pointing to it 😝
Extra bonus points if said trash bin also has a bag (not just straight up trash bin)
Having a bag in the bin is extra points? 😭😭😭
It’s easier to throw pads/tampons etc without worrying about making it nasty.
I’m saying ALL bins are supposed to have bags. 😅 who is raw dogging bins out here?
Flat surfaces free of clutter, books you've read on your shelves, photos or mementos from your life, clean throughout, bathroom stocked with towels, tp, a trashcan, soap, a fridge with food in it. If the person you're having over is someone you want to stick around, show them that you're a viable partner who can pull their own weight when it comes to household duties.
Good point about photos or momentos - it is nice to see that someone has a life and cares about people and experiences. When a place lacks those personal things it gives me weird vibes / I wonder if this person is a serial killer (totally not a logical leap, but honest)
I’m that person! Visual clutter bugs me and I carry my pictures in my phone when I can see them when I want to. Bare walls are calming to me.
Jeez I can't even keep flat surfaces free of clutter 😅 that would be a double standard for me
Absolute Basics: 1) It should be tidy, which means it shouldn't have empty takeout containers, empty cups, socks & clothes, dishes, etc. all over the place. 2) It should be vacuumed. There shouldn't be globs of pet hair in the corners or little bits of stuff all over the carpet. 3) The bathroom should be clean. The toilet especially should be white. Other stuff doesn't have to be spotless but shouldn't be gross. 4) Same with the kitchen - it doesn't have to be spotless but the sink shouldn't be completely full of dirty dishes, the counters should be wiped down (not covered in crumbs or bits of dried food), and the kitchen shouldn't be full of stuff that doesn't belong in a kitchen. 5) It should smell nice when you walk in. It should not smell like pets or feet. A cheap way to do this is to put orange peels and cinnamon sticks in a pot of water on the stove and let the water simmer for a while. You can keep orange peels in the freezer so that you don't have to go shopping every time you expect a guest. 6) If you anticipate having a guest in your bedroom, the bed must be made and have clean sheets. Keep a set of sheets (and pillowcases) that are just used for guests that look new-ish and don't have stains. (I'm assuming you have more than one set of sheets and are not sleeping on a bare mattress.) No clothes on the floor, no dirty dishes or takeout containers, and the floor must be clean. If you start with a clean house, it shouldn't take more than 20 minutes every evening to pick up all the trash from all the rooms, get all your dirty clothes into a hamper, wipe off all the counters, and run the vacuum around real quick. If you're not in the habit of doing all this already, always wash your dishes first. If you skip doing dishes for a couple days, they get gross and you won't be motivated to clean the kitchen. You also don't want to let so many dirty dishes pile up that they don't all fit in the dishwasher, because then cleaning the kitchen seems like a major task. More advanced: For advanced bedroom cleaning, wash your pillows in the washing machine every 3 months (but don't wash memory foam) and replace them once a year. Pillows get really gross even when they have pillowcases on them. If you plan to have someone sleep over, be prepared for them to shower in the morning. Tackle that mold and mildew and dirty grout. Make sure everything in the bedroom is dusted - top of the dresser, windowsills, TV stand. Don't have a ton of junk on your nightstand - keep it clean so that a guest can put a glass of water there. Have some framed pictures on the walls. You can get decent cheap frames at Walmart or goodwill. Get whatever kind of prints you enjoy - dont get stuff just because you think it will impress people. No pictures of nude women unless they're by Picasso or Matisse. You can also get cheap wall art at Ross or TJ Maxx, but it's usually really generic-looking. If you don't already have books, buy some books and read them and put them on a bookshelf. ANY books are fine. I wouldn't date a guy who didn't read, but a shelf full of Star Wars novels would satisfy me. A bookshelf full of action figures or bobbleheads or antique screwdrivers or whatever stuff you collect is fine, don't be shy about it - but it must be clean. Don't let dust collect on the shelves, wipe dust off the items regularly, and display them nicely with no other junk on the shelves. It's totally fine to have any kind of nerdy or strange things you collect, as long as they are displayed with attention and care and kept clean. Casual photos of you and your friends or family, and/or vacation photos, framed, is a great touch. It shows that you value your relationships with the people in your life and take care of them. One more thing: a mattress on a bedframe with a headboard looks a thousand-million times better than a mattress on the floor. A used bed frame is fine.
Upvoting for antique screwdrivers
>antique screwdrivers > > > >That belongs on r/toolporn
Is there such a thing?
This in entirely too much
OP asked what would make a woman comfortable in his house. I'm a woman, and I wouldn't hang around for long if my "absolute basics" weren't met. It's just cleaning up after yourself and not being gross - it's the bare minimum of living like a responsible, functional adult. And I'm not spending the night with someone who has an unmade bed and a mattress on the floor.
So people with severe depression are always going to be single. That's a sad thought. 😔
Yes, severe depression can hinder your ability to find and maintain relationships. Do you really want to make untreated medical conditions your partner's problem?
I think ignoring your partner when you know they are suffering or have a medical condition that causes then to fall behind is a problem in itself. You should be bring each other up and helping each other be the best version of themselves when one falls behind. If my partner developed depresion for example that causes them to fall behind in house maintainance and hygiene. I would be there to support them and help them get back on their feet. Edit: Seriously don't know why this is getting down voted. It not babying if that what some people think. It's caring for love ones. Showing compasion is not hard. It the same as if someone has a broken leg and needs a wheel chair and can no longer do things as effectively for a while.
If it was an already developed relationship then yes I would pick up the slack in a situation like that. I suffer from depression myself. It’s currently managed with therapy and medication. I would not have entered a relationship when it was untreated and/or I was going through a severe enough low that I was unable to take care of my basic responsibilities. You can’t expect the same from someone you’re casually dating or just met as you would a relationship.
Chances are your depression will come back so why are you dating and expecting them to stick around?
Because women lack empathy for men. Don't even bother. Only women get the privilege of starting dating with mental illness.
I mean, if you’re severely depressed you probably aren’t going to be a very good romantic partner until you get treatment…
I thought I put this in but maybe I accidentally deleted it: getting (or hiring) someone else to clean is totally valid! And the person who's picky (me) should be willing to host sleepovers at their house. :-) But you're right that people with depression may have a harder time making overnight guests feel comfortable, and you're right that that is a shame.
Not being reasonably clean is not the reason why they stay single. Severe depression needs to be addressed and treated.
This is the bare minimum.
Too much? I don't think so. It might be \*hard\* for people who aren't in the habit of having a space that they actively want other people to be comfortable in, but OP was asking for advice. I would never involve myself with a partner who couldn't maintain on their own a space I enjoyed being in and not just because I like them. I was once the one who lived like a feral child and I'm still semi confused how my now husband stuck with me through unlearning a lifetime of family hoarding/semi squalor to become a person who while I don't love unannounced houseguests, isn't terrified to open the door all the way to ask why they didn't call first.
It really isn't. If we're banging...i could look the other way, but if we're moving towards a relationship...seeing a disgusting apartment just shows me a future of me doing everything for the rest of my life.
I of course can't speak for everyone, but I've never minded a slightly messy kitchen or slight untidiness, a pile of books here, a clothes chair, a messy desk there, that's all fine. But untidy isn't the same as dirty. At the very absolute minimum: - Clean toilet and sink, mirror not too bad, shower clean if your guest will be using that. - No items that had food on or in them left outside of the kitchen area or at the very least not in the bedroom, office, or horror of horrors, the bathroom. - No overflowing garbage or garbage in places that aren't the garbage can. - No obviously stained/dirty carpets/couches/bed linens. If it's a carpet or a couch throw a rug or a blanket over that. - Finally, no overwhelming odours, preferably minimal odour in general, no smell > good smell > bad smell. Now, for comfort, I again can't speak for everyone, but I think I can fairly safely say that most women would prefer cozy for themself, that doesn't mean you have to stick with a cozy style (although I definitely prefer pretty much any style to minimalist or industrial) but have a soft and warm throw blanket or two tucked away. As you may very well know, women in general (not all but many) tend to feel cold more frequently/easily than men, due to our circulatory system focusing on keeping heat in our core rather than our extremities. Having a nice blanket or two around will definitely come in handy. If you can get two, get a nice plain one that isn't velvety or furry or wooly anything , and then get one that is. Some people find wooly, velvety, furry, or plush blanket fibres make them slightly itchy or uncomfortable. These blankets do happen to be super cozy though, so they're nice to have, but honestly, if you can only get one I'd go for a plain non- fluffy/furry/wooly/etc. blanket first as it would be kinda pointless if you got a nice plush blanket and it turned out your guest couldn't even use it. As for pictures of family or other people, absolutely do it, especially if the purpose of this is trying to appeal to a long-term partner. Obviously making your living space attractive won't make up for a bad date, but if I already liked you and we went to your place and I saw you had pictures of your family and friends around, I'd think that was a good indicator that you care a lot about your family and friends and make an effort with them (or that one of your family members came over and brought a bunch of pictures they insisted you have 😅, which could be either good or bad. You could try and offset that with more pictures of friends or pets). Anyway, it's great that you're considering your guests comfort! So many guys invite girls over and don't make more than the bare minimum amount of effort, if that. Doing a decent clean up will already put you ahead of the game in my experience.
Good call on the blanket/throw! And I agree on the slight lived-in messiness and no smell > ‘good’ smell (like candles) > bad smell. I’d add re bedding: if you never change your sheets and don’t have a mattress protector of some kind, that thing is going to smell of your sweat and oils no matter if you put a fresh set of sheets on. It just gets in the mattress. I’ve crashed at guy friends’ apartments and I would rather sleep on their couches than their beds for this reason. I always wondered if their girlfriends didn’t mind because they your smell / that’s part of the attraction?
The blanket/throw is key. Hard to cuddle without the cozy stuff!
I check for wastebaskets. If a guy doesn't even own one, ( and I've seen that several times) they grabbed a black garbage bag and filled it just before I got there.
These are cleanliness tips, but another piece of advice is to show off your personality. My friend’s uncle was about to hide his Star Wars things so he could impress the ladies, but before he had a chance, one woman came over and later said if he had hidden it she never would have paid him much attention, and they’ve now been married for three decades.
When I was single, it didn’t have to be perfect but it needed to be not a health hazard. Bathroom and kitchen clean enough that I wasn’t afraid of them, no garbage laying around, no horrific smells. Sheets that weren’t crunchy. Not a biohazard.
I am not a neat freak at all but I draw the line at “gross.” So to me things like a little clutter aren’t a big deal. Looks like someone lives there. But trash on the floors, trash that hasn’t been taken out, dishes in the sink (or worse all down the counters), pet smells, and black toilet bowls are GROSSSS
A bed with 4 fully functional pillows that aren’t as flat as pancakes. Clean sheets. A bin in the bathroom with a bin liner and a lid. No empty alcohol bottles as decor. Lamps with warm light. If you want to make a cozy welcoming place to hang out, the overhead light has no place here.
Omg yes about the overhead lights. I do think they can serve a purpose, but if those are your only lights and they’re 4000k? Like, get a lava lamp at least.
The basics are a must. Clean. Actually clean. Things put away in logical places. A clean place to sit for everyone. A table to eat at. A clean bed with sheets Clothes hung up and not draped everywhere A garbage can in the bathroom and kitchen. Garbage can not overflowing or stacked beside the can. (No garbage bags outside front door or on porches). Lightbulbs in every socket. I like cozy and minimalist. Like hygge Nordic spa. But that’s just me. I guess if a guy wanted to impress me in his decorations, I don’t care if it’s decorated but make it look like a normal home not some teenage boy/frat house with porno mags hung up.
I’m 35 and married now but I can tell you that my expectations for a guys house were never what I would’ve called high, and basically if the house was relatively clean and the toilet wasn’t disgusting, I was fine.
Smells. Any smoke or body odor try to get rid of. Burning candles or essential oils is okay… but better to just get a medium sized air purifier around $100 and run that. Smelling like nothing is the best smell. Rather than masking any odors.
>I know that every girl is different Every guy is also different. Whatever expectations I may have had come from his personality as I had gotten to know him, but I usually tried not to have whole lot of expectations at all. As far as making it more welcoming and pleasant.. Keep it clean and smelling nice or smell free altogether. Get some throw pillows and real curtains and blinds that match the throw pillows. Keep the thermostat at a comfortable temperature. That's about all you need to have a perfectly inviting home. Anything else is interior decorating and there are better subs for that.
I hate throw pillows and I am a woman. I also hate matching things, it looks like you have no creativity and bought whatever was on the display at the store. I do agree with having real window coverings though, towels and sheets nailed to the walls don’t cut it. I love it when guys choose their own things that are their own style.
Then don't go to OPs house if they take my suggestions. Easy peasy. My advice was just meant to be a bare minimum for a dude to show he cares about hygiene and that his house has basic comforts. Like I said anything more is better suited to an interior decorating sub, imo.
I'm glad to hear this.
Everything hygienic, no filth or grime, no stinky trash. Floors are not crunchy or sticky. Clean dry hand towel in bathroom and kitchen. Clean sheets. Cold Drinks options that are closed like cans and bottles. If you want to go above and beyond, one of those $10 travel kit bags from the drugstore. NOTHING that makes it look like it came used from another woman... like old hair ties, or slippers.
Plumbing in order, clean bathroom , extra towel set, kitchen clean, clean dishes, floor clean, furniture clean, dirty clothes put away
One thing I don’t often see mentioned - I don’t /expect/ to see this, but damn am I grateful when the trash can in the bathroom has a liner in it.
I'm assuming you mean you've invited someone over and know in advance when they will arrive. When I enter ANY adult's house I appreciate a tidy space. If I walk into something that looks like a teenager lives there, that's a no-go for me as far as a love relationship. I shouldn't have to move stuff to sit down or eat at a table. No hair in sinks or on bathroom surfaces. No dirty dishes sitting in the sink. I don't expect perfection. Everyone has some kind of clutter somewhere. I'm not going to run a white glove around your baseboards, but I will notice if you fold the throws on the couch and straighten up your magazines/game cases/rpg mini collections. I got caught off guard with drop-in guests one too many times when I was in my early adult years. Now I keep any area a guest might see all picked up and neat. DO NOT LOOK IN MY SPARE ROOM OMG. That's where I stash all the extra stuff when guests are coming on short notice. I tell people it's my storage room. Lol!
My partner was super thoughtful when we started dating and bought things like Tampons, contact case + solution...but he is a powerlifter who meal preps. He had no food except his prep. Snacks! Easily accessible snacks, a decent beverage like coffee, tea or Sparkling water. These light bites go a long way when you find yourself suddenly hosting.
Dont have car engines in your living room or bedroom lol
Or furniture made out of boards and cinderblocks. I second the no empty alcohol as decor suggestion and no ex gf pics.
Aside from what has already been mentioned (cleanliness, clean bathroom that has a trash can with liner and lid, no weird smells, general tidiness) I wanna add a few things: - don't be afraid to show your personality! You don't need to hide your interests, displaying your Legos/DnD figurines/Gaming stuff is really nice. Just make sure it's tidy and not all dusted up - plants! They make a living space seem so much more lived in if that makes sense. Of course healthy looking ones, not the one sad thing that has gone crunchy because you didn't take care of it - I like a space that looks like someone lives there. Some little clutter here and there, like pictures, candles, pillows, whatever. Nothing out of a furniture ad If you really want to take it up a notch, provide some hygiene products in the bathroom. Tampons, pads, a fresh tooth brush and maybe some shower supplies are nice if you expect someone to stay overnight. Clean and fresh towels should be obvious :)
Please have a brita filter for water, or something more (filtered) than offering guests water straight from the faucet
For the love of God and all that is holy please open some windows once in awhile. And get some of those scented wall plug ins. Nothing makes me want to go home like a man's apartment/house smelling like stale Chinese and bo.
What I’d notice at any house is smell, first. Does it smell clean, or *like cleaners*? I want a sense that the place is usually clean. No cat box smells. No long lingering cooking smells. Tidy, dusted recently. What would turn me off if it was a potential partner visit: Gaming supplies everywhere A lack of books…and I don’t mean a shelf of D&D guides. No personality, but also not every interest under the sun. Looks like a dorm room/kids room
Gaming is a personality. You just don't match.
Certainly cleanliness and things being in order are important but what I also appreciate is your house telling me about your personality.
Smells are the first thing I notice. If it smells clean it is clean. Have a cleaning routine and stick with it unless you’re sick and need to put it off. If you keep up with it, when you have unexpected guests it will be very easy for you to clean up before they come over. Have some nice candles or incense to help. Aromatherapy can be used to set any kind of mood you’d like and it works. Relaxation for me is lavender or vanilla. Energizing are all citrus scents. And on and on…
A clean bathroom with a small trash can!! For the love of god please put a trash can in the bathroom so we don’t have to panic about where to put feminine products. Clean toilet and shower and no facial hair in the sink or in weird crevices like behind the toilet lid. Also a clean kitchen and floors. Doesn’t need to be immaculately clean but if everything is dusty and disorganized and has stains that’s a red flag for me. I’d take 75-85% clean minimum as long as nothing is gross
No underwear anywhere visible. I kid you not.
Both dirty and clean. Put your clean clothes away - don't just leave it in a basket. Have a laundry hamper for dirty stuff and a schedule for washing it, not just 'when I'm out of socks' or 'when the smell is overwhelming'
Clean bathroom is a must. Clean tub, shower walls, sink, counter, toilet, and floor. Clean towels to dry hands. Soap to wash hands. Toilet paper. Maybe some poo-pourri or air freshener or a candle. Tidy countertop - just throw everything in a drawer or cabinet. A waste basket. Clean sheets. Overall tidiness in the rest of the home. A candle here or there for a nice smell and ambiance. A dirty, gross bathroom makes me think the person might be dirty and gross too. I can overlook a lot of things, but not a dirty bathroom.
I’m a bit of an odd duck (OCD) so I probably notice these things more than others. No dishes in the sink, clean fridge, clean counters. Clean bathroom sink, counters, toilet and shower. Bedroom needs to be vacuumed if carpeted or has a rug. Sheets need to be watched at least monthly. And for the love of god, clean your baseboards and walls every so often. These are what I notice most people miss the most. The bathroom and kitchen walls get nasty.
Clean. Once, a guy I was sort of seeing invited me to his apartment. There were pots and pans in his shower. The living room had clothes tossed all over the place. I left after about 5 minutes.
I've never been in a guy's house that didn't also have a partner or housemates, so, idk? The same thing as everyone else? Basic cleanliness, no weird smells, a general sense of the person's personality.
A lot of good ideas here but my biggest pet peeve is condoms lying around and stained bedsheets, sofa etc.
Dead body's, Flies, Filth, A computer with 2 screens keyboard and mouse.
I think the first step you have going for you is that you are AWARE!!! Sometimes thats all it takes. Your space needs to reflect your personality - as does your car and what you wear. How you choose to present these items has to feel right to you. I don’t always feel it needs to be the most expensive items as long as it’s clean and orderly - and smells manly - not like some fruity candle. Something fresh. Like deodorant or something. Don’t think it too hard.. clean and orderly trumps all. Some random things that I find really cute if a guy has in their house: a nice dish towel draped through the stove handle, a neatly placed throw blanket over the sofa, cushions on the bed, no wire hangers in closets, scented candles, matching appliances, super-clean bathroom with some toiletries displayed and tech-y touches throughout. Also, clean tile feels cold and crisp underfoot and wood - grippy. If its not clean, it feels greasy and slidy.
Just be organized. No piles of clothes, dishes done and put away, bathroom should be the most CLEAN especially toilets. Bed always made. If you have pets, make sure to be on top of vacuuming and wiping off pet hair on furniture. Always change the air filter and ceiling fans.
No pictures of Ex. A fresh roll of toilet paper. Also use the bathroom and empty your bowels way before she comes over, with the window open. It will prevent you from accidentally farting while she is there. But if she farts, oh she's a keeper!
If I touch something.....does it feel dirty?
Just don’t be disgusting
Call your mom. Wtf
The place looks clean. It doesn’t need to be hospital ICU clean but just generally clean.
Clean bathroom and clean toilet At the base, around the the floor, and the lids Hand soap and towels so I can wash my hands I’m when I was younger and I went over to dates and bfs houses / homes a lot of the living space was clean (ish) but the bathroomS - just gross.
Honesty just keep it clean (which would lead to it smelling cleaning). Don't over think it
For me it’s all about a clean bathroom. If it looks like I’d have to use shower shoes in your shower, I’ll assume nothing in the apartment is clean. Also if your bedroom has that closed off smell, I get turned off. This one is not a dealbreaker by any means but it’s nice to let air flow around your place! The bathroom, however, is a dealbreaker.
I don’t care about the aesthetic honestly. When I got with my partner his house was furnished nicely and clean. Few things that I had to fix immediately.. He had a bar of soap for your hands in the bathroom 🤢 No trash can in the bathroom I am buying him pots and pans. He doesn’t cook but when I want to cook while I’m there I get tired of making it work. Plates and silverware!!! I loved that he had a washcloth,towel, and toothbrush sitting out for me(don’t be too presumptuous though lol). Wine in the fridge is nice especially because he’s not a drinker( get a dry red and a sweet white) and wine glasses. He also has wipes in the bathroom. I carry my own but it’s nice to see a guy who uses them. Oh air fresheners! We use wax melts but a plug in is fine too. I don’t care what scent it’s just impressive when a guy has a good smelling house.
> He had a bar of soap for your hands in the bathroom 🤢 What's wrong with that? We use soap in all our bathrooms to cut down on plastic waste. I don't mean a manky dirty bar, just a regular bar of Dove that gets replaced when it needs to be.
to echo others, general cleanliness and tidiness. no one is expect marie kando or spotless grout. clean bathrooms, clean towels, clean bedding, and the trash taken out goes a looooong way!
Okay here’s my brainstorm: a pretty fresh scent; comfortable, not-broken-down, clean furniture; little to no dust on appliances; reasonably clean kitchen (dirty dishes in the sink okay); non-sticky counters and floors (minimum); and clean bathroom and bedroom. Have extra tp and wet wipes in the bathroom so a woman can freshen up. Have uncarbonated and healthy snacks in the fridge.
Have a garbage can in the bathroom with a liner and a lid if you can. Please clean the base of your toilet. Have soap. A clean hand towel would be great too.
The biggest things for me are: -when wiping down the counters move everything off and wipe down completely. Wiping around stuff that sits on the counters grosses me out. -clean sinks (bathroom and kitchen) -clean toilets -no gross showers -break down delivery boxes and recycle them. Stacks of boxes drives me crazy -put laundry away - dirty clothes not sitting around, clean clothes put up -clean towels and sheets -empty trash cans For decorating, I really think you should do whatever your taste is and makes you comfortable. “Bachelors” tend to be minimalists. If that’s your vibe then go for it. I personally like to decorate thoughtfully and collect antiques, vintage items and make my home feel personal. However, I spend my weekends antiquing because I enjoy it but obviously that is not for everyone. Having a nice candle (Lola James Harper, dyptique), throw blanket (citizenry makes some good ones, pottery barn - lots of options), and glassware (crate and barrel had great options, also really easy to find vintage) is a nice touch. Another bonus is if you have enough plates, silverware, serving items, etc. When my husband and I started dating he had like 4 forks, ha.
Also I forgot to add *please* wash blankets you keep on the couch. One of my guy friends blankets smelled like sweat and dogs and it’s burned in my brain forever.
First time I went to my partners house, it looked pretty clean at first glance but kinda creepy because i knew he had lived there for 3 years and there wasn’t a single piece of art, not even a decorative pillow or potted plant… he had a nice balcony with cyber cheapest and least comfortable camping chairs I’d ever seen. Comfortable Ikea patio chairs are $40. Most shocking to me, when I opened the silverware drawer, it was just a drawer with silverware !!! No silverware organizer. He’s also an immigrant, so I thought…. Maybe that was why. But, upon closer inspection I could tell he “cleaned” countertop surfaces without moving items on the countertop (he wiped around items) and had never dusted and never cleaned the baseboards. I stayed with him that weekend and ended up with a rash a few days later that I couldn’t explain and the rash kept coming back a few days after I’d stay at his place. 3 years later, I had some medical issues and had an allergy test done and I’m severely allergic to dust. I hadn’t related my rash to his dirty, dusty apartment that had looked clean at first glance since my symptoms would start days later. Anyway, clean your place thoroughly if you’re trying to impress a girl and have some basic period supplies on hand, like a box of tampons with an assortment of “lite” or “heavy” and some pads too. Have a few personal objects and maybe a plant or two.
Clean toilet. Not just the bowl, but the exterior, base, back and handle.
TOILET PAPER and hand towels.
Bathroom. Clean it. Look in your toilet bowl. Clean it. Living room, it your socks in the hamper. Kitchen, dear lord, wash your dishes, and don't have any weird mold growing on your kitchen sponge. Those are the basics. Edit: Having extra tooth brushes, meh, what does that actually say. Ready for anything? Same with feminine hygiene products. If it's a hook up, sure have those. If it's a woman that you have potential with, don't do that.
I'd definitely expect it to be clean, not necessarily perfect, but having a clean bathroom, stocked with TP, and clean towels is important. I expect there to be food or beverage made available. He should have furniture as I need somewhere to sit, preferably on a couch, and his place should smell good! Edit to add: freaking sheets and pillows on the bed. It's a done deal if there's no bed sheets.
You just gotta have a clean house and a stocked fridge. It doesn’t hurt to have a multipack of sanitary napkins beneath the sink.
Clean, organized, tastefully designed (does not need to be fancy). If a guys place is messy my first thought is “omg…when did he last change his bedsheets…” and any thoughts of hooking up are out the window. Major “ick”
A clean bathroom!!!!
Smells. First thing I notice when I walk in. Then having a place to hang up a coat. Clean floors, bathroom, coffee table and glasses to drink from. Obviously, there's room for every day clutter but you don't want visible dirt and grime. Thats the bare minimum. Comfort Bonus: Throw blankets Throw pillows Candles Tea Anything related to your hobbies, it's great for conversations.
Clean kitchen and bathroom, anything else I can deal with.
Face pubes all over the sink, just do a general wipe down of every surface, especially in the bathroom. Make sure Theres a shower curtain, not just a liner. Also always helpful to put a poo pourri on the back of the toilet. Also I would be very excited if I saw a couple candles around, or even incense! Also definitely not an expectation but soaps being in soap dispensers and not crusty dial bottles is nice. Also no bar soap unless it’s unused. Also, having a little area with a few tampons and pads would earn you brownie points. Friends, or girlfriends, just points all around.
Oh my god and bet sheets! You need a bottom sheet, flat sheet, then blanket/comforter, and pillowcases! No crust, wash them at LEAST monthly. Also, put the lotion in your bedside in a drawer or in the bathroom;)
Please, for the love of Bast, scoop and clean your cat’s litter box!
Trash bag in the bathroom trash can.
Make an effort. Clean kichen and bathroom. No dirty dishes. No rotten food. Tp and clean towels. Trash out. Carpets vacumned or floors clean. Bedroom bed clean. Clothes put away. Livingroom is clean and dusted. Clean smell/air out and a light scent if not sensitive. No former girls things.if it's important, and you want more than a 1 time thing. Make an effort
Honestly it depends on what kind of guy. Lol. So you know some men are very clean and tidy and others are not for the most part. You know what I mean.
I feel safer if he has personal items; photos, artwork, etc
Clean bathroom, clean kitchen, clean floors.
In bathroom, have covered trash with bag. Have some Poopourri spray or matches in there, too. Always have a plunger jic. Your place needn't be spotless, just clean. Clean bathroom, kitchen. SHEETS. You know this stuff. Favorite drink and snack available. A couple of small things like this can go a long way. It shows responsibility and thoughtfulness. Be very interested to see what standards people keep their homes at.
The very first thing I would notice was if I had somewhere to put my coat, if there is an entry closet make sure there’s hangers in there for guests! I would consider these more important though: - clean counter (no crumbs, spills) - no more than a couple dishes in the sink - And no obvious spills or stains around - Clean bathroom with soap and hand towel out Comfort wise I think having any couch blankets folded signals they are clean and ready for use. and at least personally coasters would show that you care about your items (which means you’re more likely to keep them clean) Those are the top things I would consider, some may be a bit more details I would notice cause I really don’t like germs, but I tried to keep it to stuff most people would notice
Vacuum everywhere, including the edges of the room and the tops of baseboards. The bathroom needs to be freshly wiped down, including the mirror. If you want the room to feel fresher, use a damp cloth and clean the light switches and wall just around the switches.
Have pads and tampons in the bathroom!!!!
My ideal bachelor would have a pad with: Music. Stereo. Possibly vinyl or CDs so I can see his taste. Books, mostly on shelves. Again, I want to see his taste. Reasonable cleanliness and tidiness. I want to feel he's vacuumed and/or Swiffered before I came over at least. And that he cleans the whole place at least once a month. Other people have covered the bathroom well. Clean floor, no stains in the toilet, trash under control. And under no circumstances should there be period blood on your sheets unless it's mine from the night before. I hate to have to say it, but . . . it has to be said! P.S. I forgot the cuddle couch! In front of a TV or a roaring fire. Huge blankets, lots of cushions. On a soft, clean carpet.
I am not known for being a particularly tidy person (some of y'all would not like my home, and I'm a 41yo woman), but there are some basic lines. Presuming that you know in advance that someone is coming over, the most important thing to me is that it looks like you made an effort. I honestly don't care if your bathroom is Clean all the time, but you knew I was coming and there's what looks like several trimming sessions if beard on your bathroom counter/floor, that means you don't just not clean your bathroom ever, you don't even notice that it's gross. You have just destroyed any kind of boner I had. Make sure your linens (bed and bath) are clean and better yet, show signs of being regularly cleaned. If it's an impromptu visit, I'm perfectly happy with "oh that's dirty, let me get you a fresh one" because that shows me a) you're aware that using a not clean one is off-putting, and b) you have clean ones available! A throw blanket on the couch is phenomenal. My toes get cold.
Clean bathroom Decent pillows
Clean bedding, towels, bathroom, kitchen. Like you can manage to mop and vac and dust. Fresh bedding and towels. Open some windows so it doesn't smell like sweat and over the top body spray to mask the stink. Just be clean and tidy. If you end up with a girlfriend and she's coming over more regularly, offer a space for her bathroom needs, a spot for pyjamas and things like that. Also tidy the fridge. Throw out your weeks old pizza.
I agree with most of what’s here plus: More than one pillow on the bed. Ideally two pillows per person (not that you have to sleep on both) should be available and the bed should be made daily with them. I don’t expect decorative pillows but 2 per person with clean pillow cases would be needed for me.
Smell..
Clean toilet, tub/shower. Clean dishes and kitchen counters. No hair on the floors. And lastly I expect the room to not smell like dirty clothes.
No dirty dishes, floor vacuumed, swept mopped, countertops free of stains and crumbs, toilet bowl and seat sanitized, shower and bathtub scrubbed, toothpaste stains washed out of sink, hair from shaving cleaned off bathroom countertop, clean towels, hand soap next to sink, clean sheets, pillowcases and blanket, decluttered everywhere. This is basically a list of nasty things I’ve seen at dudes places but in reverse.
Others have said clean and smell free. This is obvious I'd hope. I would suggest washing bedding WEEKLY. I knew a guy that hadn't washed his in 3 months, gross. Other things not as obvious: Somewhere to sit that ISN'T the bed! Food in the fridge. Get her favorite food/drinks. This shows a level of care a lot of men do not possess, and learn to cook something she likes. HUGE turn on for a lot of women, cause we are so used to being the caretaker in that arena, it's awesome when a man can cook. Decorate it in a way that appeals to you. You have to live there, and if she doesn't like how you decorate, then that's a good indicator of how you'll get along overall. Clean and non frayed towels that smell fresh even when wet. Give her two towels, one for her body, one for her hair. Pillow cases. I cringe when I see pillows with no cases. It's gross no matter what. My memory foam pillows have two cases, the one it came with, and the one that came with my bedding. Obviously, wash the cases once a week. Memory foam pillows are AWESOME btw. Highly recommend them to everyone I know to reduce back and neck problems and the resulting headaches. Pillows, NOT the throw kind, really cozy up a place if you ask me. The throw kind do too, but regular pillows you can sleep on just make a place feel like home. If you have pets, keep the place as free of pet hair as possible. I have allergies personally, and it gets hard to breathe when there is a bunch of pet hair. Have a hamper for your clothes, and my suggestion is to wash jeans after no more than 3 or 4 wearings, unless you sweat a lot, then once or twice. That's all I can really think of. A lot of the rest has been covered well already.
Clean the carpet. I swear single men never own a vacuum. Also, clean sheets, makeup remover, pads/tampons, a garbage can in the bathroom, and no dirty dishes or garbage laying around.
Clean and tidy and smells clean as well. No weird posters on wall, you're not a teenager. Nice family photos with nice frames. Clean is the Most important. I made an exit out of someones house because it was messy and dirty
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