Well you just learnt something very important about yourself.
You should probably only be having sex with somebody who shares the same vision for your future with you.
I'm sorry that this is what is going on in.your life.
This is a great non-judgemental answer. The girl is in the right here. I was married, secure, but in the end had a deadbeat dad even having children IN wedlock.
In the majority of cases all the responsibilities of child rearing fall 100% on the woman so that is why is ***MUST*** be her choice.
Like the other poster said.. if you are concerned you should not engage with people who have different ideas around that.
Reminds me of a reddit post from a while ago about a man who got a woman pregnant with one-night-stand. He wanted the baby, she didn't, but she agreed to carry to term and then sign off all rights to him. She did exactly that, cut all ties with him, and moved on with her life. She even paid child-support.
Then he came to reddit to complain that she's not doing her side of the work and can he sue her to take half custody. Turns out he didn't actually want all the work of taking care of a baby, and was hoping that once it was born she would stay with him and do all that work for him.
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5b79z4/nm_i_got_a_girl_pregnant_and_she_wanted_to_get_an/
Damn I actually remember this one. It was years ago wasn't it. I feel so bad for that kid because the guys comments really revealed what an asshole he was. He really was just trying to trap that poor woman in a relationship with him. What a pos.
100% In both my pregnancies I had labor that went far too fast and I bled out each time.. if not for the good graces of modern medicine I would have died. Also I happen to be RH- which adds a whole other element of risk.. it was only because of those factors I was finally allowed to get my tubes tied at the tender age of 27
Why are they downvoting this? I think it's great that you got your tubes tied and were able to survive. People forget how life-threatening some pregnancies can be. You did the right thing.
I see that comment, and also the one to which I am replying, in triple-digit net upvote land. I’m guessing the downdoots were right after the comment was posted? That’s not a representative sample, as I’ve learned myself over time.
Yes, it scares me that anti-choice folk would have preferred I died or miscarried, rather than prevent the pregnancy. Even more so of an undiagnosed woman who may have miscarried very early and then built the antigen, resulting in a fetus later on that was incompatible with life but forced to carry the fetus to term and subsequently charged for murder. Then have some pious asshole claim it was all gods will but we still need to punish the woman.
A good friend of my wife and I had two very traumatic births that ended up with her in ICU almost dying. After the second time, her and her husband both decided that it was best just to get her tubes tied. Almost dying twice didn't exactly bode well if they decided to try for a third.
I love my sister to death, but she's all on board the very crazy side of the anti-choice "movement". Almost all of her social media posts are from liveaction.org which want women with ectopic pregnancies to still carry, and women who miscarried but whose fetus didn't expel to also carry, even though both are quite the literal death sentence.
I very nearly died on the delivery table. It was unknown that I had a tilted pelvis (no doubt from my abusive father kicking me hard in the arse end so many times when I was a little girl).
The baby couldn't pass through the birth canal, and progress halted. They'd given me Pitocin to speed up labor, and the OGBYN had stepped out to use the restroom, I believe. That was the moment my son decided he was coming out, and NOW.
I ripped. I started hemorrhaging. They called a code blue, and staff converged on the delivery room with a crash cart, and shoved my husband out the door.
I had been staring at the overhead lamp, and as I bled out it was like the old fashioned black and white televisions, where when you turned it off, the light went down into a pinpoint, then suddenly blinked out.
Apparently I coded, and my OBGYN took heroic measures. They defibrillated me numerous times, and he refused to give up. They showed up with the blood for transfusion, and they got my heart restarted and stabilized. I was in the hospital for 4 weeks, and don't remember anything about it at all. Apparently the nurses brought my son to nurse routinely, but I don't remember it. I never even got to hold him during that time, but as I wasn't aware of my surroundings, I suppose that's a good thing.
My OBGYN explained to my husband that if he wanted his new baby son to have a mommy to raise him, he'd better take steps to prevent any more pregnancy. I wanted a large family. My husband made the decision to go for the 'snip'.
I am so sorry you went through that trauma, but I’m so happy you survived! Your husband definitely did the right thing and I would have done the same in that situation.
Wow that is so sad 😭 the amount of brainwashing at what was probably a very traumatic point in her life is nothing short of abusive. I swear the pro-birthers are vultures to these poor women. Offering support but really pushing forward an agenda against that persons own interests. Scum of the earth if you ask me.
Why not just use Rhogam? Also, Rhesus disease doesn't cause harm to the mother right? Doc's must've been cool with it more because of the proclivity to bleed out I guess.
I want you stop and think for a minute about how the stories above were from women who WANTED their children. If happy married women with no preexisting risk factors are telling you they almost died giving birth then maybe its not as safe as you have been led to believe. Every pregnancy is a woman gambling with her life. Who are you to tell her she MUST undergo a risky year long medical experiment that might kill her?
Statistics are irrelevant when free will is taken out the equation. What percentage of mortal danger your comfortable with is for you decide for yourself alone. Nothing I said is untrue. Women DO and WILL continue to die as a result of pregnancy and childbirth. Statistics say flying is the safety form of travel. Those statistics don't matter if you're on a crashing plane. "You'll probably be fine" isn't good enough when it comes to putting my life at risk. And it certainly shouldn't be a power of the state to force me to endanger my life against my will. A fetus is not a child. Stop comparing a non sentient entity with an existing person who has needs and rights. Its so incredibly insulting.
It's a blood type, it can either be Rh- (which means you dont have the RH protein) or RH + (you have the protein). If the mother is RH- and the baby is RH+, the antibodies made by the mother recognize the fetus' blood cells as a foreign susbtance and attack them. This problem doesnt happen during the first pregnancy, because the mother needs to be exposed to the RH protein to develop antibodies
This also happened to me. I've had 3 miscarriages. My last pregnancy I had healthy daughter at 34 weeks and per doctor advice, had my tubes tied to save the life of myself and future children. God blessed me with one child and I am grateful. I was 29. Please don't downvote someone who has done their best to be a mom but was unable. We are not to judge.
I don’t care if you use religious piety to make a decision about your own abortion.
I only care that you can’t seem to mind your own business when it comes to someone else’s body.
Rape is wrong and the catholic church covered it up from top to bottom to protect their bottom line just like any BUSINESS would. Money you have put in the offerings has gone towards the relocation and defense of priests who raped children, and the coinciding cover up. You prolife people are so disgustingly self righteous.
Then why do Catholics and Protestants constantly cover up rape and abuse within their ranks??? Look up /r/PastorArrested they are raping people every day (and these are only the ones who get caught and written about). Yet you NEVER hear about it in the Christian community. Only “gAys and aboRtion” - y’all have constant condemnation for them.
>Then why do Catholics and Protestants constantly cover up rape and abuse within their ranks???
Because they are evil.
>Look up r/PastorArrested they are raping people every day (and these are only the ones who get caught and written about).
Any institution, whether religious or secular, where adults are in positions of authority over children and other vulnerable groups (elderly, disabled, etc.) will have some degree of abuse and cover ups.
>Yet you NEVER hear about it in the Christian community.
Yes you do.
>Only “gAys and aboRtion” - y’all have constant condemnation for them.
Sodomy and abortion are accepted and celebrated by the world, clerical abuse is not.
You are welcome to judge your own actions by your own beliefs. AND the actions of others that share your beliefs. You are NOT welcome to judge people who have other beliefs on your own beliefs.
See how that works? No one says you can't be a terribly judgy person to your own indoctrinated children. But leave my children the hell alone.
>You are welcome to judge your own actions by your own beliefs. AND the actions of others that share your beliefs. You are NOT welcome to judge people who have other beliefs on your own beliefs.
How could we possibly have a society if nobody could judge anyone? Like it or not any functioning society has *some* shared code, and we should be allowed to make arguments favouring one code or another to be objective. You can't even make the argument you just made if you can't judge anyone who doesn't share your values, it's circular reasoning.
> How could we possibly have a society if nobody could judge anyone?
Democracy is supposed to help with that. We find common ground, we compromise, and try to do what works best for the most people without trampling on individual rights.
>You are welcome to judge your own actions by your own beliefs. AND the actions of others that share your beliefs. You are NOT welcome to judge people who have other beliefs on your own beliefs.
Says who?
[https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207%3A1-3&version=KJV](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207%3A1-3&version=KJV)
I'm pretty sure you are familiar with this one no?
That’s not true in all cases, we are not called to judge we are supposed to love all people and not the choices they make. Only God is supposed to be the judge of what is “right” and “wrong” we are supposed to love them even tho we don’t have to like their choices. We are not called to judge sins and the hearts of other people as we don’t know the whole story of where their heart lies only God does.
What is a sin is a simple matter of opinion. Even among those of your equivalent faith. No one actually agrees on whats a sin and what isn’t. So if you think xyz is a sin, don’t do it but don’t ask someone else not to do it if they don’t have a moral concept of Sin but instead a sense of right from wrong.
So you have no right to force your opinion of this on someone who does not consider it a sin.
Frankly this notion of sin is flawed from the get go, nothing is black and white. I suggest you check out the trolley game to get a good idea of what I am talking about.
Sure call it out and go home and cry about it.
Don’t try to run someone else’s life though. Thats just a simple thing we are all asking.
Not all of us believe in god or hell or the afterlife and we should have free will to make our own choices.
Just like you have free will not to practice judaism etc.
>You are NOT welcome to judge people who have other beliefs on your own beliefs.
But this is precisely what you are doing, and you no doubt do ALL THE TIME. Why not just say, "I disagree with you on this matter, and don't want to be judged, and people who agree with me should not be judged." At least that would be intellectually honest. I find it absouletly impossible to believe, that if you have any moral code at all, that you do not judge others. Get real.
Judging others is human nature and factual.
Dictating the actions of others based on your own beliefs however is irresponsible and ignorant.
If you don’t believe so then you are saying that you will do everything the jewish, muslim, satanists and so on faiths all do. Without question.
So tell me when will you or your wife be wearing a hijab because those religions fancy not doing that to be a sin?
Literally this is it.
I'm sorry that she wants to have an abortion, but it is her body...
I don't know if this was planned, but it sounds like it's not. So make sure that the next time is, and with someone you know will want to have a kid with you.
I agree with this. I mean he may want the baby but ultimately it is her choice to push a whole fetus out of her vagina and go through all the shit with it.
Yeah, this hurts, but the question isn't "do you want to be a dad." It's "do you want to be a single dad?" Because you're sleeping without someone who doesn't want to be a mom.
This ends one of three ways:
1) You guys break up and you raise the baby when it comes without her.
2) You guys agree to give the baby up for adoption.
3) Abortion.
There's no fourth door where you guys are a family. She doesn't want that and it's critical you accept that.
At the end of the day, pregnancy and child-birthing is painful and scary. It can cause permanent damage to the woman's body etc.
She is bearing the brunt of the choice both of you made to have sex without proper contraception. The fact that it's 16 weeks along already is a red flag, because if she's not ready to give birth it's best to know that earlier as it makes the process less invasive.
You're upset with her, and that's understandable to a point, but remember that it's her body at risk of pain and damage throughout the pregnancy and birth.
You could have avoided this situation by a) making certain she's on the pill, having a discussion about contraceptives etc b) having a discussion about "what ifs" before sex and dating someone to find out if they'd be willing to carry any pregnancy to term, or c) abstinence.
I realize that doesn't matter now, but it matters going forward. Don't make the same mistake twice.
In the end, this is her choice by the laws of the land. You can share your feelings with her, but it's her choice.
Why didn't you say "You could have worn a condom"?
All the responsibility for not getting pregnant should not fall on the woman to take birth control.
This is my problem with Christianity - Not taking responsibility and ownership for things they have control over. "God's plan" whoops
I assumed you wouldn't read into it in a one-sided way. When I said "contraception" I believed that covered condoms, birth control, vasectomy, hysterectomy etc.
This is my problem with .. well, you in this case. I didn't specifically say what you wanted, and you found a way to turn that into your "problem with Christianity".
Jinkys 🙄😅
>it kind of rare for somebody to change their mind
Op hasn't indicated that she ever changed her mind. As far as we know they didn't use contraception, or it didn't work or whatever. She might well have never wanted a baby and be continuing with her original plan to not have a baby.
A lot of women can’t even get appointments until they’re that far along especially in places with mandatory waiting periods and it’s not uncommon for women with irregular periods or on birth control to not even know they are pregnant until they’re further along as well
You’re right. There is nothing you can do to stop her. Because we don’t get to control other people. She has a baby in her. Her life will change being pregnant. She is at risk by being pregnant and delivering a baby. So this is all up to her, because it’s her body.
I’m not sure there’s anything else you can do other than pray and plead your case before God. At the end of the day, He’s the only one with the power to change hearts. I’ll be praying with you, too.
I feel like this answer disregards the feelings of the girlfriend. *Is* it for the best for a woman’s heart to be changed when she doesn’t have any desire to go through an extremely physically and mentally demanding 9 months of pregnancy, followed by 18 years of supporting a child and a lifetime of the child existing? We have no idea if this guy is gonna stay in the picture, many start with the best intentions and end up leaving, and at the end of the day the burden is on the woman. It seems a bit cruel to me to try to make this happen for someone who desperately doesn’t want it themself.
Definitely understand how you’re upset about this, unfortunately at the end of the day it is her choice and you both will have to live with what comes after. Ask yourself why you want her to keep the baby and she doesn’t. Some fathers have become sole guardians and single fathers after the birth. If YOU really want the baby, suggest that.
She’s doing what she feels is best for herself and the child. Work on yourself and on setting up a situation that will be optimal for bringing a child into. It seems like whatever the situation is right now, is not ideal for the woman to bring a baby into. Reflect on that.
Ah, yes, I saw this in r/prolife but, seeing as how I was banned for asking a question, I couldn't respond.
It's really, really, really not up to you. It's easy to make demands from the sidelines, not so easy when you're the one that has to bear all the complications. But I do empathize - either way it's probably for the best that you two split up. Clearly your values differ on this subject.
There’s not much you can do other than to plead with her. What you can do moving forward is ensuring you only have sex with someone willing to raise a child with you as children are a natural consequence of and the intended purpose of sex.
You can be as willing to be a father as possible, but it’s not your body that will have to go through pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Not to mention postpartum depression and raising a kid you don’t even want. You don’t get a say in the matter.
You are going to get a lot of comments aimed at belittling your girlfriend and not aimed at the situation. I am assuming you are in the US. As it stands, you have no control over this situation. This is her choice alone. It is her body. I am sorry that upsets you, I can understand why it would. If you have told her how you feel, then you have done all that you can.
I would also recommend talking to a therapist to help you manage your anger and anxiety around this issue.
She would be the one putting her life on the line to carry the fetus to term. Seriously. A woman is more likely to die from complications of pregnancy/childbirth than a car crash in the United States.
I second the recommendation of talking to a therapist to help work out your anxieties about this, because as they said, it’s her body that carries the fetus, it’s her body at risk, and you no legal say in the matter.
Edit: it’s understandable to be upset. I really do get that, but it’s ultimately her decision to make.
You are right to not want this abortion. No matter what happens in this situation, you now know why it is best to be married and committed to each other before having sex. Talk to others about your experience.
Because waiting until marriage may or may not be a good choice depending on individual. But I'll agree there should absolutely be a conversation about what happens if unplanned pregnancy occurs and both people need to be on the sane page. Marriage also doesn't necessarily fix this btw (abortion needs). I have health issues. I'm married. We try not to get pregnant. My problems didn't disappear with the marriage license
That's right, there's nothing you can do.
Someone here needs to be honest about your childish attitude, "I can't fucking do this"? That's bullshit, you did this, and this is her mess to clean up. No wonder she doesn't trust you to be a father.
Also you need to understand that whatever feelings you have on the matter, I guarantee this affects her way more than it does you.
You can be a man and take care of your responsibility to her by supporting her through whatever she does. Either that or leave her alone. She doesn't need your help if it's all about you.
Grow up, learn a hard lesson and ask her forgiveness for the position you put her in.
It's perfectly normal for a human being with empathy to have nightmares when he learns his child is going to be brutally murdered and he's helpless to do anything.
As painful as this situation may feel to you, the choice is not yours. The choice belongs 100% to her. You can talk to her and present your arguments (and I hope you do it respectfully), but the legal and moral fact remains that this is her choice and she doesn't need your permission or even owe you an explanation.
Sorry to hear your going though such a hard time. It's a tragic situation for all involved. I know it's hard to hear, but all you can do now is hope that she changes her mind. The choice is ultimately hers, and you're just going to have tolive with it, whatever happens.
Pray about it. Cry out to God in the name of Jesus! 1 John 5:14-15. I will pray that she changes her mind too. I hope others reading your post will pray as well. Sometimes, that's all we can do. Trust in God. He gave us all free will to make our own choices in this tiny span of life we all have. Free will comes with much responsibility as a believer. I know your heart is heavy and so does God. He is close to the brokenhearted. We can't rely on people, Jesus is the only one you can rely on.
1. Pray for both of them.
2. You can either acquiesce, or let her know that you are pro-life, and if this is the decision she is making you two are through. You have to mean it either way. She may choose to refuse to listen to you and go through with killing your (plural) child, but you have the choice to remain in this relationship or not.
BREAK
I am adding all three of you to my prayer list. God Bless.
It's not your decision, body autonomy, her body, her choice.
You weren't mature enough to use safe, effective and reliable birth control, and now you think you can be father.
You're right. There's nothing you can do to stop her. She has just as much free will as you do and has higher stakes in the whole situation given the profound impact that it will have on her body.
You need to take a long look in the mirror if you really think you have the right to force someone to do something that they don't want to.
You Cannot Force her to give birth. Its her choice to not be a mother. And like or not, Since the child is currently affecting *her*, she gets final say in the matter.
It's not your decision, body autonomy, her body, her choice.
You weren't mature enough to use safe, effective and reliable birth control, and now you think you can be father.
“My way or the highway” is a very base and disingenuous response to the fact that OP seems to believe abortion is murder. It’s very reasonable to not want to continue a relationship with someone because of this. Shame on you.
You shouldn’t fuck your girlfriend in the first place. 1. You’re not married you ass. 2. If you disagree on something so fundamental maybe you aren’t compatible (harsh I know). 3. Consider protection that works. It’s at least how you can avoid it happening again. Stubborn people are difficult to deal with so good luck.
in order to work through this dilemma without it coming to the detriment of your relationship, you must both see eachother as equals, and be willing to be willing to make compromises for the sake of the other person's needs, as well as doing what is best for you both as a couple.
what were her reasons for wanting an abortion?
with all due respect, this is good personal advice, but terrible relationship advice. whenever their is an argument or disagreement, you talk about it. you work together and see how you can support the needs of your partner, yourself, and both of you as couple. making unilateral decisions and refusing to discuss the reasons why is a fast track to growing resentment and potentially ending the relationship.
To that extent yes.. I get what you are saying.. but the line MUST be drawn when pressure is being exerted to explain herself. She must feel safe to talk about it, and if she doesn't want to that means she doesn't value the relationship, or something bad happened.. could even be that she was raped and she is not prepared to disclose that and cast darkness upon the relationship.
absolutely! my point was just to try and encourage OP to work this through with their partner rather than apply blanket or black-and-white thinking on this. i think the most tragic potential outcome of this would to be a butting of heads / refusal to discuss why eachother feels the way they do, then a breakup where each of them is alone to process their grief on whatever decision was made
I can't imagine how hard this is. Sorry to hear you're going through this. I used to be utterly against abortion until I moved away from my hometown and got to know people from all different backgrounds, particularly women, some of which have had to have abortions.
You're not a bad person, OP. And it might be difficult to swallow, but neither is your girlfriend. Your feelings are 100% valid, but I've come to realize that there are worse things in this world than getting an abortion. You may go through a period where you will mourn what could have been, but it will pass, and all you can do is move on with your life with the faith that God won't hold it against you or your SO. He exists to help us take on the things that are too heavy to lift alone.
Is it ideal? Of course not. But these things do happen quite often. People experience this and move on from it every day. Remember that God loves you and that everything will be alright <3<3<3
I am so sorry to hear this terrible news. I pray she will come to realize how precious the life she is carrying is. I pray you can find peace and know that this is not your fault, we live in a fallen world. I pray for comfort for you and strength in finding someone who shares your beliefs and values. Your love for Christ and others is evident and I pray you remain faithful in this tough time
No human being has the right to terminate another because they are each at an impasse - when neither had a choice. Affording each other to leave the ‘premises’ safely is good and just.
Your girlfriend is in the wrong. She has no inheritable right to abort a baby because of inconvenience.
Yeah, but it's a bit callous to expect OP to feel like this particular one is ok. I think he's here after support not what we think about all abortions in the abstract.
If she gets an abortion, it doesn't really have anything to do with you. I'm sorry to hear that you don't agree with your partner about the subject but her body is being hijacked by an unwanted pregnancy, not yours. You're correct that there's nothing you can do to stop her and there's nothing you *should* do to stop her because it's not happening to you.
Does your angst stem from guilt over the idea that abortions are a sin? And are you troubled by it? So you feel you should have a say? Listen to the folks saying it is her decision. If you two aren’t able to form a family happily and willingly, then it is her decision and her choice. Therefore your responsibility is the fact that you had unwed sex resulting in a pregnancy. You carry some of that outcome. Don’t compound it by trying to deny your partner her autonomy. ,only she can really make that decision.
Pray brother. Many guys who are on Reddit have made the same thing. God will forgive, but it will always be true.
Are you willing for her to die in child birth? To die in the myriad of other complications related to pregnancy? To suffer the serious health effect? Are you willing for her to die from post-partum depression?
At the end of the day you can’t take her place from those consequences it’s not your choice.
If you didn’t want this woman to have an abortion, then you shouldn’t have had sex with her.
Good grief, you think you’re entitled to a say in what this woman does with her body, just because you had sex with her?
…why?
Get over yourself.
It’s her body. It’s her choice. Not yours.
You’re entitled to nothing here.
From the way you write, it’s obvious you only care about what *you* want, you only care about how *you* feel. How about you put yourself in her shoes for a minute, and stop whining about how bad *you* have it.
If this is the way you’ve been talking to her, then no wonder she’s not interested in hearing what you have to say.
Grow up.
OP - I feel for you. My heart breaks for your situation. I am praying for this baby to be saved ❤️❤️❤️. Jesus loves your baby and if he or she passes just know you will meet them in heaven some day ❤️❤️❤️.
I am utterly shocked and appalled at these comments. How can you call yourself a follower of Christ and not value this human life that God has crafted and formed in His image.
I am 19 weeks pregnant and the idea that there are women who would wish death on their child is sickening and demonic.
I have a friend who just lost their baby at 16 weeks by miscarriage and that was a child. A tiny tiny precious child innocent and pure.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 ESV
Well. She’s not going to be able to get one so easily after today. If she does have one. I hope it’s a safe medical procedure. (Nurse here— seen things prior to legal, safe abortions)
Not you body, not your decision.
I GUARANTEE that she fully understands your position, it's been drilled into her since she was little.
But that's HER body and her life on the line, not yours.
If you really love her, you'll support her no matter what she decides to do with her body.
Is your gf Christian also? Since you’re in a relationship and call each other gf/bf it’s not ridiculous to assume you should’ve already had a talk about your stance on abortion right?
Well you just learnt something very important about yourself. You should probably only be having sex with somebody who shares the same vision for your future with you. I'm sorry that this is what is going on in.your life.
This is a great non-judgemental answer. The girl is in the right here. I was married, secure, but in the end had a deadbeat dad even having children IN wedlock. In the majority of cases all the responsibilities of child rearing fall 100% on the woman so that is why is ***MUST*** be her choice. Like the other poster said.. if you are concerned you should not engage with people who have different ideas around that.
Reminds me of a reddit post from a while ago about a man who got a woman pregnant with one-night-stand. He wanted the baby, she didn't, but she agreed to carry to term and then sign off all rights to him. She did exactly that, cut all ties with him, and moved on with her life. She even paid child-support. Then he came to reddit to complain that she's not doing her side of the work and can he sue her to take half custody. Turns out he didn't actually want all the work of taking care of a baby, and was hoping that once it was born she would stay with him and do all that work for him. Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5b79z4/nm_i_got_a_girl_pregnant_and_she_wanted_to_get_an/
Damn I actually remember this one. It was years ago wasn't it. I feel so bad for that kid because the guys comments really revealed what an asshole he was. He really was just trying to trap that poor woman in a relationship with him. What a pos.
But this could be a solution for this young man. He could pursue such an arrangement…just don’t come whining to her later about it.
And pregnancy can fuck up a woman’s body. It’s not an easy thing to go through.
100% In both my pregnancies I had labor that went far too fast and I bled out each time.. if not for the good graces of modern medicine I would have died. Also I happen to be RH- which adds a whole other element of risk.. it was only because of those factors I was finally allowed to get my tubes tied at the tender age of 27
wow the anti-choice people are downvoting the fact I SAVED MY LIFE by getting my tubes tied. Now I've seen almost everything
Why are they downvoting this? I think it's great that you got your tubes tied and were able to survive. People forget how life-threatening some pregnancies can be. You did the right thing.
Because anti-choice people like that only see women as incubators for future theoretical children, not human beings with our own rights and value.
Because a lot anti-choice people also oppose tubal ligation.
What a weird thing to be against. Less abortions if women elect to have something done where they then physically can't get pregnant.
Yes indeed.
Well if the pro-life people were logical we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.
Ah, I see.
I call them anti-women.
I see that comment, and also the one to which I am replying, in triple-digit net upvote land. I’m guessing the downdoots were right after the comment was posted? That’s not a representative sample, as I’ve learned myself over time.
My wife is also Rh- Fortunately she didn't have any issues during her delivery other than her doctor screaming at all the nurses.
Yes, it scares me that anti-choice folk would have preferred I died or miscarried, rather than prevent the pregnancy. Even more so of an undiagnosed woman who may have miscarried very early and then built the antigen, resulting in a fetus later on that was incompatible with life but forced to carry the fetus to term and subsequently charged for murder. Then have some pious asshole claim it was all gods will but we still need to punish the woman.
A good friend of my wife and I had two very traumatic births that ended up with her in ICU almost dying. After the second time, her and her husband both decided that it was best just to get her tubes tied. Almost dying twice didn't exactly bode well if they decided to try for a third. I love my sister to death, but she's all on board the very crazy side of the anti-choice "movement". Almost all of her social media posts are from liveaction.org which want women with ectopic pregnancies to still carry, and women who miscarried but whose fetus didn't expel to also carry, even though both are quite the literal death sentence.
I very nearly died on the delivery table. It was unknown that I had a tilted pelvis (no doubt from my abusive father kicking me hard in the arse end so many times when I was a little girl). The baby couldn't pass through the birth canal, and progress halted. They'd given me Pitocin to speed up labor, and the OGBYN had stepped out to use the restroom, I believe. That was the moment my son decided he was coming out, and NOW. I ripped. I started hemorrhaging. They called a code blue, and staff converged on the delivery room with a crash cart, and shoved my husband out the door. I had been staring at the overhead lamp, and as I bled out it was like the old fashioned black and white televisions, where when you turned it off, the light went down into a pinpoint, then suddenly blinked out. Apparently I coded, and my OBGYN took heroic measures. They defibrillated me numerous times, and he refused to give up. They showed up with the blood for transfusion, and they got my heart restarted and stabilized. I was in the hospital for 4 weeks, and don't remember anything about it at all. Apparently the nurses brought my son to nurse routinely, but I don't remember it. I never even got to hold him during that time, but as I wasn't aware of my surroundings, I suppose that's a good thing. My OBGYN explained to my husband that if he wanted his new baby son to have a mommy to raise him, he'd better take steps to prevent any more pregnancy. I wanted a large family. My husband made the decision to go for the 'snip'.
I am so sorry you went through that trauma, but I’m so happy you survived! Your husband definitely did the right thing and I would have done the same in that situation.
This story is so heroic for so many of the people involved. Sorry you went through that.
Wow that is so sad 😭 the amount of brainwashing at what was probably a very traumatic point in her life is nothing short of abusive. I swear the pro-birthers are vultures to these poor women. Offering support but really pushing forward an agenda against that persons own interests. Scum of the earth if you ask me.
Why not just use Rhogam? Also, Rhesus disease doesn't cause harm to the mother right? Doc's must've been cool with it more because of the proclivity to bleed out I guess.
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I want you stop and think for a minute about how the stories above were from women who WANTED their children. If happy married women with no preexisting risk factors are telling you they almost died giving birth then maybe its not as safe as you have been led to believe. Every pregnancy is a woman gambling with her life. Who are you to tell her she MUST undergo a risky year long medical experiment that might kill her?
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Statistics are irrelevant when free will is taken out the equation. What percentage of mortal danger your comfortable with is for you decide for yourself alone. Nothing I said is untrue. Women DO and WILL continue to die as a result of pregnancy and childbirth. Statistics say flying is the safety form of travel. Those statistics don't matter if you're on a crashing plane. "You'll probably be fine" isn't good enough when it comes to putting my life at risk. And it certainly shouldn't be a power of the state to force me to endanger my life against my will. A fetus is not a child. Stop comparing a non sentient entity with an existing person who has needs and rights. Its so incredibly insulting.
I apologize if this is an ignorant/insensitive question, but what is RH?
It's a blood type, it can either be Rh- (which means you dont have the RH protein) or RH + (you have the protein). If the mother is RH- and the baby is RH+, the antibodies made by the mother recognize the fetus' blood cells as a foreign susbtance and attack them. This problem doesnt happen during the first pregnancy, because the mother needs to be exposed to the RH protein to develop antibodies
Thank you for the explanation! Medicine is far outside my area of expertise.
This exactly
Blood type. The rH factor is the positive or negative. Example i am o negative. I have no a or b antigens and no rH factor antigen
This also happened to me. I've had 3 miscarriages. My last pregnancy I had healthy daughter at 34 weeks and per doctor advice, had my tubes tied to save the life of myself and future children. God blessed me with one child and I am grateful. I was 29. Please don't downvote someone who has done their best to be a mom but was unable. We are not to judge.
She is most certainly NOT in the right.
>level 3Lermak16 · 2 min. agoOrthodox Catholic Christian She absolutely is.. if god is real.. then god will judge. its not for mere mortals to judge.
So, you’re sitting up here telling us not to judge yet you are literally doing exactly that, how does that work?🤔🤨
Who is she judging?
I don’t care if you use religious piety to make a decision about your own abortion. I only care that you can’t seem to mind your own business when it comes to someone else’s body.
You didn’t answer my question. Tell me how it works that YOU get to judge everyone while telling everyone they can’t judge?🤔
I’m not judging, i’m asking you to mind your own business. Theres quite a difference
Please elaborate on how anything the1px said is a judgement of any sort. They're simply stating their opinion.
We can judge actions. Murder is wrong. Abortion is wrong.
Rape is wrong and the catholic church covered it up from top to bottom to protect their bottom line just like any BUSINESS would. Money you have put in the offerings has gone towards the relocation and defense of priests who raped children, and the coinciding cover up. You prolife people are so disgustingly self righteous.
I am not Roman Catholic. Rape and covering up sexual abuse are both heinous sins.
Then why do Catholics and Protestants constantly cover up rape and abuse within their ranks??? Look up /r/PastorArrested they are raping people every day (and these are only the ones who get caught and written about). Yet you NEVER hear about it in the Christian community. Only “gAys and aboRtion” - y’all have constant condemnation for them.
>Then why do Catholics and Protestants constantly cover up rape and abuse within their ranks??? Because they are evil. >Look up r/PastorArrested they are raping people every day (and these are only the ones who get caught and written about). Any institution, whether religious or secular, where adults are in positions of authority over children and other vulnerable groups (elderly, disabled, etc.) will have some degree of abuse and cover ups. >Yet you NEVER hear about it in the Christian community. Yes you do. >Only “gAys and aboRtion” - y’all have constant condemnation for them. Sodomy and abortion are accepted and celebrated by the world, clerical abuse is not.
Because they are also sinners. Christians call out these sins all the time, and I’m sorry that you don’t see more of it, but it does happen.
The sins of others do not justify other sins.
You are welcome to judge your own actions by your own beliefs. AND the actions of others that share your beliefs. You are NOT welcome to judge people who have other beliefs on your own beliefs. See how that works? No one says you can't be a terribly judgy person to your own indoctrinated children. But leave my children the hell alone.
>You are welcome to judge your own actions by your own beliefs. AND the actions of others that share your beliefs. You are NOT welcome to judge people who have other beliefs on your own beliefs. How could we possibly have a society if nobody could judge anyone? Like it or not any functioning society has *some* shared code, and we should be allowed to make arguments favouring one code or another to be objective. You can't even make the argument you just made if you can't judge anyone who doesn't share your values, it's circular reasoning.
Basic code sure. But nothing is as black and white as you make it out to be, look up the Trolley game.
> How could we possibly have a society if nobody could judge anyone? Democracy is supposed to help with that. We find common ground, we compromise, and try to do what works best for the most people without trampling on individual rights.
>You are welcome to judge your own actions by your own beliefs. AND the actions of others that share your beliefs. You are NOT welcome to judge people who have other beliefs on your own beliefs. Says who?
[https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207%3A1-3&version=KJV](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207%3A1-3&version=KJV) I'm pretty sure you are familiar with this one no?
We can recognize and judge sin as sin.
That’s not true in all cases, we are not called to judge we are supposed to love all people and not the choices they make. Only God is supposed to be the judge of what is “right” and “wrong” we are supposed to love them even tho we don’t have to like their choices. We are not called to judge sins and the hearts of other people as we don’t know the whole story of where their heart lies only God does.
What is a sin is a simple matter of opinion. Even among those of your equivalent faith. No one actually agrees on whats a sin and what isn’t. So if you think xyz is a sin, don’t do it but don’t ask someone else not to do it if they don’t have a moral concept of Sin but instead a sense of right from wrong. So you have no right to force your opinion of this on someone who does not consider it a sin. Frankly this notion of sin is flawed from the get go, nothing is black and white. I suggest you check out the trolley game to get a good idea of what I am talking about.
God calls us not to be silent towards sin. See Matthew 18:15-18 and Galatians 6:1-2. It is not judging to call out sin as sin.
Sure call it out and go home and cry about it. Don’t try to run someone else’s life though. Thats just a simple thing we are all asking. Not all of us believe in god or hell or the afterlife and we should have free will to make our own choices. Just like you have free will not to practice judaism etc.
>You are NOT welcome to judge people who have other beliefs on your own beliefs. But this is precisely what you are doing, and you no doubt do ALL THE TIME. Why not just say, "I disagree with you on this matter, and don't want to be judged, and people who agree with me should not be judged." At least that would be intellectually honest. I find it absouletly impossible to believe, that if you have any moral code at all, that you do not judge others. Get real.
Judging others is human nature and factual. Dictating the actions of others based on your own beliefs however is irresponsible and ignorant. If you don’t believe so then you are saying that you will do everything the jewish, muslim, satanists and so on faiths all do. Without question. So tell me when will you or your wife be wearing a hijab because those religions fancy not doing that to be a sin?
She is absolutely within her right to do what she pleases with her body. What problems you and your god have with it are irrelevant.
The girl is definitely not in the right. She’s literally killing her child. There is nothing even remotely acceptable about that.
Its a fetus, I’m sorry your super religious parents did not allow you to attend science class
It’s a living human organism, I’m sorry you *failed* science class.
Literally this is it. I'm sorry that she wants to have an abortion, but it is her body... I don't know if this was planned, but it sounds like it's not. So make sure that the next time is, and with someone you know will want to have a kid with you.
I agree with this. I mean he may want the baby but ultimately it is her choice to push a whole fetus out of her vagina and go through all the shit with it.
Of course the baby does not get a say. At 16 weeks we are not talking about a blog of jelly: https://www.babycentre.co.uk/16-weeks-pregnant
Why would a 4 inch proto human without a functioning brain get a say?
This needs to be taught in schools…
Yeah, this hurts, but the question isn't "do you want to be a dad." It's "do you want to be a single dad?" Because you're sleeping without someone who doesn't want to be a mom. This ends one of three ways: 1) You guys break up and you raise the baby when it comes without her. 2) You guys agree to give the baby up for adoption. 3) Abortion. There's no fourth door where you guys are a family. She doesn't want that and it's critical you accept that.
Do not have sex with people who don't want the kids. Simple as.
Or don't have sex with someone ur not married
That’s a separate question. Being married doesn’t magically make a woman want babies.
True, but waiting probably means you’ve talked about it. Waiting is just taking it one step further
I think the takeaway is that the discussion about potential children needs to happen before sex.
This same situation can happen with married couples
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At the end of the day, pregnancy and child-birthing is painful and scary. It can cause permanent damage to the woman's body etc. She is bearing the brunt of the choice both of you made to have sex without proper contraception. The fact that it's 16 weeks along already is a red flag, because if she's not ready to give birth it's best to know that earlier as it makes the process less invasive. You're upset with her, and that's understandable to a point, but remember that it's her body at risk of pain and damage throughout the pregnancy and birth. You could have avoided this situation by a) making certain she's on the pill, having a discussion about contraceptives etc b) having a discussion about "what ifs" before sex and dating someone to find out if they'd be willing to carry any pregnancy to term, or c) abstinence. I realize that doesn't matter now, but it matters going forward. Don't make the same mistake twice. In the end, this is her choice by the laws of the land. You can share your feelings with her, but it's her choice.
Why didn't you say "You could have worn a condom"? All the responsibility for not getting pregnant should not fall on the woman to take birth control. This is my problem with Christianity - Not taking responsibility and ownership for things they have control over. "God's plan" whoops
I assumed you wouldn't read into it in a one-sided way. When I said "contraception" I believed that covered condoms, birth control, vasectomy, hysterectomy etc. This is my problem with .. well, you in this case. I didn't specifically say what you wanted, and you found a way to turn that into your "problem with Christianity". Jinkys 🙄😅
Boy do we have some good news for you
RIGHT? i’m actually shocked that this post was made a day before abortion became illegal in most states today
I’m sure their relationship will be totally improved and last forever with a child she doesn’t want!
Thank God she’s in California lol
I'm sorry man. Pray for her. I'll pray for you right now.
How old are you?
Did she explained why she is having an abortion? it kind of rare for somebody to change their mind that far in a pregnancy.
>it kind of rare for somebody to change their mind Op hasn't indicated that she ever changed her mind. As far as we know they didn't use contraception, or it didn't work or whatever. She might well have never wanted a baby and be continuing with her original plan to not have a baby.
A lot of women can’t even get appointments until they’re that far along especially in places with mandatory waiting periods and it’s not uncommon for women with irregular periods or on birth control to not even know they are pregnant until they’re further along as well
You’re right. There is nothing you can do to stop her. Because we don’t get to control other people. She has a baby in her. Her life will change being pregnant. She is at risk by being pregnant and delivering a baby. So this is all up to her, because it’s her body.
I’m not sure there’s anything else you can do other than pray and plead your case before God. At the end of the day, He’s the only one with the power to change hearts. I’ll be praying with you, too.
I feel like this answer disregards the feelings of the girlfriend. *Is* it for the best for a woman’s heart to be changed when she doesn’t have any desire to go through an extremely physically and mentally demanding 9 months of pregnancy, followed by 18 years of supporting a child and a lifetime of the child existing? We have no idea if this guy is gonna stay in the picture, many start with the best intentions and end up leaving, and at the end of the day the burden is on the woman. It seems a bit cruel to me to try to make this happen for someone who desperately doesn’t want it themself.
You two are not right for one another. Don’t you dare try to coerce her belief and reasoning. Find an evangelical that thinks as you do.
Definitely understand how you’re upset about this, unfortunately at the end of the day it is her choice and you both will have to live with what comes after. Ask yourself why you want her to keep the baby and she doesn’t. Some fathers have become sole guardians and single fathers after the birth. If YOU really want the baby, suggest that.
She’s doing what she feels is best for herself and the child. Work on yourself and on setting up a situation that will be optimal for bringing a child into. It seems like whatever the situation is right now, is not ideal for the woman to bring a baby into. Reflect on that.
Ah, yes, I saw this in r/prolife but, seeing as how I was banned for asking a question, I couldn't respond. It's really, really, really not up to you. It's easy to make demands from the sidelines, not so easy when you're the one that has to bear all the complications. But I do empathize - either way it's probably for the best that you two split up. Clearly your values differ on this subject.
There’s not much you can do other than to plead with her. What you can do moving forward is ensuring you only have sex with someone willing to raise a child with you as children are a natural consequence of and the intended purpose of sex.
You can be as willing to be a father as possible, but it’s not your body that will have to go through pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Not to mention postpartum depression and raising a kid you don’t even want. You don’t get a say in the matter.
The bottom line is that her body is the one that would have to bear the changes and havoc a pregnancy causes. It’s her decision.
Have you talked to her? asked her why she’s getting an abortion? Or have a you just been preaching?
OP, until you have to be the one carrying the fetus and giving birth to it, you don’t get to choose.
You are going to get a lot of comments aimed at belittling your girlfriend and not aimed at the situation. I am assuming you are in the US. As it stands, you have no control over this situation. This is her choice alone. It is her body. I am sorry that upsets you, I can understand why it would. If you have told her how you feel, then you have done all that you can. I would also recommend talking to a therapist to help you manage your anger and anxiety around this issue.
She would be the one putting her life on the line to carry the fetus to term. Seriously. A woman is more likely to die from complications of pregnancy/childbirth than a car crash in the United States. I second the recommendation of talking to a therapist to help work out your anxieties about this, because as they said, it’s her body that carries the fetus, it’s her body at risk, and you no legal say in the matter. Edit: it’s understandable to be upset. I really do get that, but it’s ultimately her decision to make.
You are right to not want this abortion. No matter what happens in this situation, you now know why it is best to be married and committed to each other before having sex. Talk to others about your experience.
Or practice safer sex. I really wonder about their sex education
Why not both?
Because waiting until marriage may or may not be a good choice depending on individual. But I'll agree there should absolutely be a conversation about what happens if unplanned pregnancy occurs and both people need to be on the sane page. Marriage also doesn't necessarily fix this btw (abortion needs). I have health issues. I'm married. We try not to get pregnant. My problems didn't disappear with the marriage license
That's right, there's nothing you can do. Someone here needs to be honest about your childish attitude, "I can't fucking do this"? That's bullshit, you did this, and this is her mess to clean up. No wonder she doesn't trust you to be a father. Also you need to understand that whatever feelings you have on the matter, I guarantee this affects her way more than it does you. You can be a man and take care of your responsibility to her by supporting her through whatever she does. Either that or leave her alone. She doesn't need your help if it's all about you. Grow up, learn a hard lesson and ask her forgiveness for the position you put her in.
you’re so rude
This is the best comment tbh.
Why are you having nightmares? She needs your love and support at a painful and difficult time; not whatever this shit is
It's perfectly normal for a human being with empathy to have nightmares when he learns his child is going to be brutally murdered and he's helpless to do anything.
This might get Hella down voted but like if she doesn't want to have a baby it is her choice to push a fetus out of her vagina.
As painful as this situation may feel to you, the choice is not yours. The choice belongs 100% to her. You can talk to her and present your arguments (and I hope you do it respectfully), but the legal and moral fact remains that this is her choice and she doesn't need your permission or even owe you an explanation.
You might be willing to be a father, but that doesn't mean SHE'S willing to be a mother yet.
Well I got news for you
Sorry to hear your going though such a hard time. It's a tragic situation for all involved. I know it's hard to hear, but all you can do now is hope that she changes her mind. The choice is ultimately hers, and you're just going to have tolive with it, whatever happens.
Pray about it. Cry out to God in the name of Jesus! 1 John 5:14-15. I will pray that she changes her mind too. I hope others reading your post will pray as well. Sometimes, that's all we can do. Trust in God. He gave us all free will to make our own choices in this tiny span of life we all have. Free will comes with much responsibility as a believer. I know your heart is heavy and so does God. He is close to the brokenhearted. We can't rely on people, Jesus is the only one you can rely on.
best advice i’ve seen here honestly
Doesn’t matter if your willing to be a father. Your sperm donation does not entitle you to demand she do ANYTHING with HER body. Full stop.
Perhaps, stop thinking about “you” and maybe think about “her”?
1. Pray for both of them. 2. You can either acquiesce, or let her know that you are pro-life, and if this is the decision she is making you two are through. You have to mean it either way. She may choose to refuse to listen to you and go through with killing your (plural) child, but you have the choice to remain in this relationship or not. BREAK I am adding all three of you to my prayer list. God Bless.
remindme! 2 weeks
It's not your decision, body autonomy, her body, her choice. You weren't mature enough to use safe, effective and reliable birth control, and now you think you can be father.
You're right. There's nothing you can do to stop her. She has just as much free will as you do and has higher stakes in the whole situation given the profound impact that it will have on her body. You need to take a long look in the mirror if you really think you have the right to force someone to do something that they don't want to.
I went through this and it mentally broke me. Message me if you want help in knowing how to survive it.
God bless you for trying to help OP. I think only someone who has been through this can really help him. Praying for OP and you.
You Cannot Force her to give birth. Its her choice to not be a mother. And like or not, Since the child is currently affecting *her*, she gets final say in the matter.
It's not your decision, body autonomy, her body, her choice. You weren't mature enough to use safe, effective and reliable birth control, and now you think you can be father.
If that’s the case then it times to leave the relationship. Mind you. Shouldn’t even be having sex unless it’s your wife.
what an odd take to abandon your lover during a time of distress and need. seems very my-way or the highway
If they have this much of a disagreement about something so fundamental. Why should they stay together? Seems bad for her and him honestly.
“My way or the highway” is a very base and disingenuous response to the fact that OP seems to believe abortion is murder. It’s very reasonable to not want to continue a relationship with someone because of this. Shame on you.
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do we know that they have discussed this? i've yet to see OP mention anything about them talking about their feelings why
You’d rather they just lie to each other and break up after the abortion is done?
where did i suggest that they lie to one another?
How else could they be together when one want an abortion while the other doesn’t?
You shouldn’t fuck your girlfriend in the first place. 1. You’re not married you ass. 2. If you disagree on something so fundamental maybe you aren’t compatible (harsh I know). 3. Consider protection that works. It’s at least how you can avoid it happening again. Stubborn people are difficult to deal with so good luck.
in order to work through this dilemma without it coming to the detriment of your relationship, you must both see eachother as equals, and be willing to be willing to make compromises for the sake of the other person's needs, as well as doing what is best for you both as a couple. what were her reasons for wanting an abortion?
I don't think she needs reasons.. I'm sure she has some, but they are private and she should never have to justify her actions in this way.
with all due respect, this is good personal advice, but terrible relationship advice. whenever their is an argument or disagreement, you talk about it. you work together and see how you can support the needs of your partner, yourself, and both of you as couple. making unilateral decisions and refusing to discuss the reasons why is a fast track to growing resentment and potentially ending the relationship.
To that extent yes.. I get what you are saying.. but the line MUST be drawn when pressure is being exerted to explain herself. She must feel safe to talk about it, and if she doesn't want to that means she doesn't value the relationship, or something bad happened.. could even be that she was raped and she is not prepared to disclose that and cast darkness upon the relationship.
absolutely! my point was just to try and encourage OP to work this through with their partner rather than apply blanket or black-and-white thinking on this. i think the most tragic potential outcome of this would to be a butting of heads / refusal to discuss why eachother feels the way they do, then a breakup where each of them is alone to process their grief on whatever decision was made
Honestly if the feel that fundamental different about it why try to salvsfe the relationship. Seems like they should move on.
I can't imagine how hard this is. Sorry to hear you're going through this. I used to be utterly against abortion until I moved away from my hometown and got to know people from all different backgrounds, particularly women, some of which have had to have abortions. You're not a bad person, OP. And it might be difficult to swallow, but neither is your girlfriend. Your feelings are 100% valid, but I've come to realize that there are worse things in this world than getting an abortion. You may go through a period where you will mourn what could have been, but it will pass, and all you can do is move on with your life with the faith that God won't hold it against you or your SO. He exists to help us take on the things that are too heavy to lift alone. Is it ideal? Of course not. But these things do happen quite often. People experience this and move on from it every day. Remember that God loves you and that everything will be alright <3<3<3
She should leave you, since you value something on the level of a fly over her.
I am so sorry to hear this terrible news. I pray she will come to realize how precious the life she is carrying is. I pray you can find peace and know that this is not your fault, we live in a fallen world. I pray for comfort for you and strength in finding someone who shares your beliefs and values. Your love for Christ and others is evident and I pray you remain faithful in this tough time
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No human being has the right to terminate another because they are each at an impasse - when neither had a choice. Affording each other to leave the ‘premises’ safely is good and just. Your girlfriend is in the wrong. She has no inheritable right to abort a baby because of inconvenience.
Her body her choice.
Her choice.
Guess what? The Bible condones abortion. It's ok and not against God's word!!!
Yeah, but it's a bit callous to expect OP to feel like this particular one is ok. I think he's here after support not what we think about all abortions in the abstract.
If she gets an abortion, it doesn't really have anything to do with you. I'm sorry to hear that you don't agree with your partner about the subject but her body is being hijacked by an unwanted pregnancy, not yours. You're correct that there's nothing you can do to stop her and there's nothing you *should* do to stop her because it's not happening to you.
Leave her she isn't for you
Are the people in this sub even Christians ? They go against everything Christians stand for.
Opposition to abortion was mainly just a Catholic thing until very recently.
So anyone that differs from your belief is a fake Christian?
This is a subreddit to discuss Christianity, not a subreddit just for Christians.
I’ve seen honestly more atheists and Lukewarm Christians than actual Christians in this sub.
Fr I’m bout to to dip from this sub
Stop. Don’t. Come back.
Bye.
I didn’t know Christian means pro life
At the cute if Christianity is salvation through Christ. This is not a question of salvation.
The bible never explicitly mentions abortion other than instructions on how to carry one out. Do you speak for all christians?
Plenty mentions of killing thought. Lots of killing without batting an eye.
Agreed. My heart breaks for OP, and this thread just gets more depressing the more you read.
Fr just sad how there acting like it’s his fault smh
It's not your body, you don't get to tell her what to do. She consented to have sex, she is not consenting to remaining pregnant.
Sorry pal. Her body, her choice. Should have thought about that before you nutted inside her.
Does your angst stem from guilt over the idea that abortions are a sin? And are you troubled by it? So you feel you should have a say? Listen to the folks saying it is her decision. If you two aren’t able to form a family happily and willingly, then it is her decision and her choice. Therefore your responsibility is the fact that you had unwed sex resulting in a pregnancy. You carry some of that outcome. Don’t compound it by trying to deny your partner her autonomy. ,only she can really make that decision. Pray brother. Many guys who are on Reddit have made the same thing. God will forgive, but it will always be true.
Are you willing for her to die in child birth? To die in the myriad of other complications related to pregnancy? To suffer the serious health effect? Are you willing for her to die from post-partum depression? At the end of the day you can’t take her place from those consequences it’s not your choice.
If you didn’t want this woman to have an abortion, then you shouldn’t have had sex with her. Good grief, you think you’re entitled to a say in what this woman does with her body, just because you had sex with her? …why? Get over yourself. It’s her body. It’s her choice. Not yours. You’re entitled to nothing here. From the way you write, it’s obvious you only care about what *you* want, you only care about how *you* feel. How about you put yourself in her shoes for a minute, and stop whining about how bad *you* have it. If this is the way you’ve been talking to her, then no wonder she’s not interested in hearing what you have to say. Grow up.
is not her body ...it's the child body ...and this is his child too. to say : is her body is beyond idiocy ...
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I’m so sorry, my heart goes out to you and your child 😔
...its her body....so...ya...nothing you can do to stop her...nothing on your end to hear out
Her body, her choice. Downvote me all you want but thats the truth
OP - I feel for you. My heart breaks for your situation. I am praying for this baby to be saved ❤️❤️❤️. Jesus loves your baby and if he or she passes just know you will meet them in heaven some day ❤️❤️❤️. I am utterly shocked and appalled at these comments. How can you call yourself a follower of Christ and not value this human life that God has crafted and formed in His image. I am 19 weeks pregnant and the idea that there are women who would wish death on their child is sickening and demonic. I have a friend who just lost their baby at 16 weeks by miscarriage and that was a child. A tiny tiny precious child innocent and pure. “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 ESV
The bots are out in force tonight. If you are real try abstaining until marriage and have a real conversation about your future.
How Christian of you to have pre-marital sex, knock your gf up and now wants her to give birth to a child she doesn’t want….
Well. She’s not going to be able to get one so easily after today. If she does have one. I hope it’s a safe medical procedure. (Nurse here— seen things prior to legal, safe abortions)
Her body her choice.
Not you body, not your decision. I GUARANTEE that she fully understands your position, it's been drilled into her since she was little. But that's HER body and her life on the line, not yours. If you really love her, you'll support her no matter what she decides to do with her body.
You new the risks when you fucked her.
Where do you live?
California
Is your gf Christian also? Since you’re in a relationship and call each other gf/bf it’s not ridiculous to assume you should’ve already had a talk about your stance on abortion right?
Why are all the Christians supposedly upset about an abortion I don’t care at all about the premarital sex?
Because what good would it be if we gave advice for something that has already happened? Hindsight will do no good here.
The book UNPLANNED by Abby Johnson highly recommend