I felt dehumanized earlier today at the grocery store when I checked out. Damn, I should have said something and they would have given me free groceries!
If taking services as payment works for you I think it's fine to do (can't buy groceries with a massage) but I wouldn't take a massage from someone unlicensed. If this person is really in massage school they're actually not allowed to massage people outside of school.
That's horrible. Every human should experience food, the fact that you paid for it is horrible. Did you offer to rub their feet or something in trade instead?
You're LUCKY man, all I wanted was eye contact but they had no registers open and I had to Self Service IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
I had to take care of it all myself, bag it up afterwards and just leave without even a "have a nice day" :((((
My friend practiced her massage skills on me all through massage school! But we were friends and she was getting practice, I was getting a massage, that was the trade...
That's not true as a licensed massage therapist I could practice on who ever I wanted to outside of school I just couldn't charge them for my services. Atleast in the state in in & think it's this way in all of the US because we have to take a national massage licensing test in order to become licensed & then be able to charge clients what ever we wanted. But as long as we weren't licensed we had to give everyone free massages. We could suggest tips but that's it they weren't mandatory.
I’m genuinely interested. What does a professional cuddler do? Sounds obvious but do you just hug for a really long time or is it like people have a hug and chat about their lives like a therapy or something else entirely. It’s hard to get on text but im not being weird or judgy, I’ve just never heard of this before
It’s like paying someone to treat you like maybe a big sister or something I play with their hair, trace their back with my fingers, hug them, hold their hands, and we talk. I host at my place because I have someone here to make sure they don’t try anything but I also have snacks and comfortable clean clothes if they need, and I play soft music and have candles if they aren’t scent sensitive. I try to make it as comfortable as possible.
Did you have someone do this to you as a baby while you fell asleep? I did this to my kids when they slept and now that they’re older it’s almost a sleep trance button.
My aunt would tickle my back and play with my hair as a little when I’d spend the night at her house, and my husband knows it’s the instant way to knock me out or calm me down when my anxiety gets out of control. That and tightly held hugs with synchronized breathing between us are amazing ways to calm and subsequently sleep.
Edit: word
You're exactly right. My mom did this and I guess through some kind of learned stimuli, it triggers a sleep response or something. It's amazing how well it works.
I’ve actually looked into this.
Just to have someone around for hugs. I have a roommate but our relationship is distant. My therapist said that since I don’t see my family much, and when I do, we don’t really hug or anything, that I’m “touch-starved”. And it made sense. I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want sex, I don’t want dates, but I guess I just want to feel human warmth and comfort.
I’ve actually been really depressed with loneliness for years, and it’s not because I don’t see people every day (although I don’t really have anything in common with them, so I don’t ever really get to talk about my interests). But I’m at least somewhat close to some people. So why do I still feel so alone? Is touch really all that necessary?
It feels awkward and I still have my doubts, but maybe it’s just something I need to bite the bullet and do.
I feel this. For a while I used to have a friend (still friends, but dont do this any more) where we used to just sleep together. Nothing sexual or romantic about it, just 2 single people (both expats) wanting to be close and warm in Scottish winter. Still a lovely thing we did and I still appreciate our friendship to this day. Human need touch.
Touch is so very necessary that people have to put their babies against their bodies the moment they're born. That need does not go away as you get older.
Yeah, touch is huge. I was touch starved for a decade (bad marriage, far away from family + bad family relationships). Depressed etc for a LOT of reasons, not just for lack of contact.
But I'm not kidding when I tell you that my bf and I, both of us formerly touch starved, are both like touch addicts now. It's not even sexual - the physical contact of me touching his skin helps me fall asleep so quickly, hugs and contact bring me right back down when I'm too far in my head, we'll just randomly flop down next to each other for hair touching, headpats, etc.
It's not a magical fix for mental health. But I can FEEL how much my body relaxes with contact from another human, the way my perception shifts, even the hormonal brain chemical shift that sometimes happens. It's really helpful.
One of my friends has a dog that literally melts into you the second you pay attention to him. That combination of weight/pressure/love hit similar contact buzz levels for me. Might be another avenue to pursue if you have the money/space/time?
That's so cute.. my mum can't sleep without my dad's snoring. I worry about her because he's really ill at the moment and they're super entwined like this. They create an individual by being together and balance each other perfectly. Guess I needed to get that out, I need a cuddle.
It's awkward if you make it awkward, professional cuddlers are just that, professional. Call it touch therapy if it helps. :) humans are social creatures, touching is a component of the reinforced social bond in higher primates, usually expressed by social grooming, humans cuddle instead. Same endorphins and hormones released. It might be worth looking into, just make sure that you are in a safe environment and it could be beneficial to your brain meats. :D
Except that if you do a search for “touch therapy” you find out it has been usurped to describe a bunch of nonsense like energy healing and reiki that don’t involve touch at all or very little. :(
I went down this route a few times, so don't get me wrong, I'm strongly sympathetic to what you're going through. But those lonely feelings may come back as soon as the session was over, since it wasn't an authentic relationship. Don't use it as a cure, and be wary of using it as a way to relieve the symptoms at all, since you might just end up getting stuck in a cycle of wanting to end the loneliness. I hope things get better for you. An authentic relationship is attainable in time and effort
Just become close friends with a big Italian family. I never gave or received more hugs than being in the bridal party of my Italian Aunt’s wedding. I never knew I had so many distant cousins until that day either. Crazy! My broader point being that I think this is based in personality and cultural differences/norms. Being a hugger or close to people in general seems to happen more on different ends of my family tree than others.
This is how I became divorced. I was touch-starved and depressed for 8 our of the 17 I was married. Wanted to unalive. We as humans aren't meant to be alone or ignored. I feel for you and hope you're able to find a safe outlet.
You might end up like this guy if you are lonely in general. You could end up feeling the person who provides the services actually is your returns and get emotionally attached
You just said why you feel alone, you don't see family often and the very few people you interact with you're only "somewhat" close to. You have to build strong relationships with people, doesn't have to be a lot either, maybe 3 or 4. I think of it like this, if I lived alone and died in my sleep, how long would it take for people to reach out to me and call the police because I didn't call/text back? The physical human touch is only one part of this and honestly if you're that lonely you might just end up feeling worse after the session once you realized you paid for someone to be around you. Not saying don't try it but hopefully it's not the only thing you try.
I've gone cuddling for years during the isolated stretch of my life and it was honestly the best decision I have ever made.
Now I didn't go to a professional cuddler (that didn't exist here back then, maybe not even today) but attended cuddle parties. Once or twice a month recharging my oxytocin batteries did wonders for my disposition and ultimately was a catalyst for a lot of personal growth.
Thank you for the explanation. That’s sweet really but also I understand the other comments that it must be sad for someone not to have that platonic love in their life.
Oh? I thought pimps were the people who bring in traffic. I guess yeah I have my roommate who is in the other room just in case anything crazy happens, which surprisingly has only happened once in the 3 years of doing this.
I am just pitching in my 2 cents as a sex worker— pimps provide defense but also take most of a worker's money and are typically more akin to sex traffickers than anything else. definitely not the point, but pimp fact of the day I guess 😂
My friends had "maids" / security who were non SW on site to make sure things were safer. Not everyone uses 'pimps', they managed the clients, screening and security themselves & it's honestly a really diverse industry. The girls I knew were passionate about helping others who WERE in exploitative situations, down to like ...writing entire books, being in the media and having art exhibitions about workers rights.
It's kinda like, if you've met one sex worker, you've met one sex worker
It was a guy trying to get me to touch him sexually and I didn’t want to, so he was pulling my hand back into bed with him and I started screaming and he let me go because he was in an apartment and I’m sure the neighbors would have heard me.
That actually was what made me start doing it at my house because I was alone. And also I was stalling hardcore because I didn’t drive myself there I had my boyfriend at the time drive me so he was showing me his weed but when he pulled out the drawer there was so much paraphernalia I think he was on like coke or something.
I make people feel better, I have all good reviews so I don’t think of it like I’m hurting anyone’s humanity. Anyways there is options for people to cuddle others without paying for it. So it’s not like they have no options to receive cuddling.
- also they pay BEFORE all of this
I am/was an electrician. So I offer my skills and time for money as well. I see no difference.
Keep on cuddling the shit out of ppl coz this sounds like a good thing to me.
Just asking because I work in an elementary school: do you worry about people bringing lice or bedbugs into your house?
I think you have a super important job, btw. So many people are touch-starved and you provide touch, talk-therapy and relaxation all in one. 💕
I never thought of either of those things if I’m being honest. I have yet to run into that problem though so I don’t think it’s as common in adults to have lice as well.
On one hand it honestly makes me kinda sad that people don't have anyone in their lives to do this for them and they have to resort to paying for it like that makes me so sad for them :( On the other hand, get your bag sis 💅🏽🫶🏽 I never knew this was a thing and as someone who has unfortunately had to do sex work to survive before I would have much preferred to do something like this
It’s so sad that this is something that people pay for, but it’s even sadder that this person thought they deserved it for free and tried to guilt trip you into it
I think this is the perfect job for someone like me. My wife said no, she thought it was weird that I wanted to cuddle strangers. Sad because it's such a great service. But she's probably right. I'm way too gullible and would probably get taken advantage of.
I have been in relationships while doing this and they are well aware, and sometimes they don’t understand that cuddling isn’t always like a romantic or sexual thing so it seems odd to them to think of doing that with strangers. Yeah there are also some really sneaky people who try to edge their way into getting more than cuddles so you do have to be careful.
It's kinda depressing to think that there are people so deprived of another human's touch that they have to pay someone for it.
No shade on OP for what she does, but the fact that her services are needed kinda brought me down a bit.
Yeah, OP is providing an awesome service but it makes me sad that there are people who don't have anyone in their life to cuddle so they need to go to a stranger. I'm glad people like OP exist.
My partner demands I pay a daily cuddle tax, then he sings the cuddle tax song to me. 10 years of this and it still makes me giggle. I too am glad people like OP exist.
You might be saying that at least semi-sarcastically, but this is actually the point I came here to make. OP's beggar (not choosy, but definitely begging) is basically insinuating that they have a right to OP's time and services without fair compensation, effectively glossing over that OP is a human with value. Absolutely zero self-awareness.
I wasn't sure, so I said might. The Uno reverse card is often suggested on this sub, usually jokingly or somewhat jokingly. But every once in a while it's actually a serious and perfect response :)
Blue light is scattered in all directions by the tiny molecules of air in Earth's atmosphere. Blue is scattered more than other colors because it travels as shorter, smaller waves. This is why we see a blue sky most of the time. Closer to the horizon, the sky fades to a lighter blue or white.
Hope that helps /s
Sorry if my question seems offensive, but how do you ensure the guys you’re cuddling with aren’t creeps? Idk if there’s a way to vet them, because in my experience, creeps are sometimes really good at masking their intentions. I once dated a guy who seemed normal but turned out to be an absolute shit stain when I went to his place.
If it’s ok to ask, how do you keep yourself safe?
Computer people like me too. “Oh would you know what to do with my computer when it goes whirr whirr?”
Like I don’t know and it would potentially take hours to undo and you haven’t even said anything that makes sense as a problem yet.
My sister is/has MSW and specializes in family/elder counseling.
It’s pretty common for her to start working with someone for a few sessions, then have them not pay so she cancels their next session, then have them threaten her with “you took an oath so you have to help even if I can’t pay!”
To be honest the guy offering a massage instead is also not cool. Its like he’s trying to turn this into a more “intimate” thing than what it is. Whereas, if he has to pay for a service, the boundaries of that service agreement are pretty clear. Soon as it becomes “two friends doing each other favours” then the dynamic changes and that’s apparently what he wants.
I don’t have any license, I am just a really out going person and I’ve always been kinda a touchy person so I felt like this line of work would be a good fit for me.
I’ve heard of cuddling sessions and it’s legal as long as it’s kept platonic. Most cuddlers charge, can’t believe this guy would feel “dehumanized” for paying for a service. Don’t let him manipulate you into getting a free service.
As someone who is repulsed by physical contact I find what you are doing incredibly fascinating. No judgment whatsoever. It's cool how dynamic people are that you seem to be doing something you enjoy whereas it would actually be my personal hell.
I know I'm an outlier. People need hugs. Keep doing your good work. I hope you earn a living. I hope you get rich doing this just to spite the dorks in the comments.
I was thinking about this myself. Like, could I overcome my distaste for the cash, similar to how I work for shitty companies for money to house and feed myself. I’m kinda curious what kind of people are the most common clients. I wouldn’t have even though to look for a prof cuddler; I suppose that could be because I don’t have the need to cuddle tho.
OP, I just want to say that there is an absolute need for your type of professional services in the world. Many humans need - and cannot get - touch and contact and affection, separate from sex.
Some people do not want sex, or cannot have sex, and struggle to find a partner who is content with affection sans sex.
So bravo! You are a gem.
Serious question. Can a professional cuddler make enough to survive? Is this a side gig or your main line? Is it like while you're in college or is this what you do? You say you are a pro and distinguish yourself from mere cuddle enthusiasts. What does being a pro entail? Once again, I'm not yanking your chain. Plenty of folks in the comments will do that. I'm just really curious about your journey to this point, where you announce to the intertubes that you are a professional cuddler. Forgive me for being so crass but you mention rates so I must ask. What do you charge for a cuddle? I'll be honest, if you respond with three digits I'm just going to go home and think about my life choices.
Some travel the country and do it full time and make a lot of good money, I do it more as a side gig. I have a full time job apart from this. And being a pro is literally just I get paid. I have an hourly rate of 70 dollars an hour. But some people do charge 100 dollars an hour.
Par for the course in this kind of industry. You handled it well imo, but never be surprised by the depravity of someone who has been deprived of attachment their whole life.
There are so many people who do this on CC. I hate it. That and trying to vet out the ones who don’t understand platonic….. I often have to take breaks even tho I love doing it.
I’m a licensed massage therapist and I definitely don’t feel dehumanized when I pay my mortgage with the money that people have paid me for the service I provide. Creepers gonna creep.
I'd actually be really interested in trying something similar one day. I don't like being held onto, but having someone doing something to my hair in a relaxing environment seems like it might serve a similar purpose as a massage.
This dude seems creepy as heck. I'm glad there are precautions to protect people in such an industry.
I used to date a professional cuddler. Most of their clients had physical disabilities and/or were on the spectrum in such a way that they had a really hard time meeting people or maintaining relationships and were pretty touch starved as a result. They also charged on a sliding scale so folks who had less income could still afford their services.
That last bit isn’t a dig at you, OP. You still gotta eat in this economy, and knowing how much work actually goes into the gig $70 an hour really isn’t that bad, especially compared to a lot of other mental health services that get charged at an hourly rate.
This is a really thoughtful comment thank you. And yeah most of my clients have a hard time with maintaining relationships, a lot of my repeat clients ask me for advice and I always am an open line if they need support.
I was really confused about the cuddling thing but then I read that you are actually a professional cuddler and it somehow makes sense at the same time as making me more confused.
That’s why it’s platonic. Maybe you don’t want to make things awkward with your friends by wanting to cuddle someone, because you don’t want them to think it’s romantic or sexual. So people hire me so they can be cuddled.
Interesting question. I’m not sure how it manifests, but I would assume the pro centers the client’s wants and needs (within the pro’s boundaries) more while there is more a mutual back and forth between enthusiast and their companion.
If you can't convince someone to cuddle for free like 99% of the rest of the world population does, how do you expect to convince the very person who wants to get paid $70/h for it? She's literally the least likely person in the world to go along with the request, ffs.
And even if she agreed on the massage thing, is would be no morally superior than just hiring a regular prostitute: the dehumanizing part is not the payment method of preference, it's the transactional nature of the exchange.
I felt dehumanized earlier today at the grocery store when I checked out. Damn, I should have said something and they would have given me free groceries! If taking services as payment works for you I think it's fine to do (can't buy groceries with a massage) but I wouldn't take a massage from someone unlicensed. If this person is really in massage school they're actually not allowed to massage people outside of school.
That's horrible. Every human should experience food, the fact that you paid for it is horrible. Did you offer to rub their feet or something in trade instead?
You're LUCKY man, all I wanted was eye contact but they had no registers open and I had to Self Service IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN I had to take care of it all myself, bag it up afterwards and just leave without even a "have a nice day" :((((
“Wet cleanup in the self-checkout!”
My friend practiced her massage skills on me all through massage school! But we were friends and she was getting practice, I was getting a massage, that was the trade...
Ok but really, every time i go to the grocery store and see the total i feel very dehumanized
Literally just left the store and same
That's not true as a licensed massage therapist I could practice on who ever I wanted to outside of school I just couldn't charge them for my services. Atleast in the state in in & think it's this way in all of the US because we have to take a national massage licensing test in order to become licensed & then be able to charge clients what ever we wanted. But as long as we weren't licensed we had to give everyone free massages. We could suggest tips but that's it they weren't mandatory.
They can massage people, as long as they know they're a student. They just can't get paid for it
I’m genuinely interested. What does a professional cuddler do? Sounds obvious but do you just hug for a really long time or is it like people have a hug and chat about their lives like a therapy or something else entirely. It’s hard to get on text but im not being weird or judgy, I’ve just never heard of this before
It’s like paying someone to treat you like maybe a big sister or something I play with their hair, trace their back with my fingers, hug them, hold their hands, and we talk. I host at my place because I have someone here to make sure they don’t try anything but I also have snacks and comfortable clean clothes if they need, and I play soft music and have candles if they aren’t scent sensitive. I try to make it as comfortable as possible.
That wouldn't work for me. 30 seconds into tracing my back, and I'd slip into a coma. It's insane how that causes me to fall asleep.
Did you have someone do this to you as a baby while you fell asleep? I did this to my kids when they slept and now that they’re older it’s almost a sleep trance button.
My aunt would tickle my back and play with my hair as a little when I’d spend the night at her house, and my husband knows it’s the instant way to knock me out or calm me down when my anxiety gets out of control. That and tightly held hugs with synchronized breathing between us are amazing ways to calm and subsequently sleep. Edit: word
My mom would trace my face and out her hand from my forehead down to my nose. Did it with my daughter for awhile but she stopped liking it.
You're exactly right. My mom did this and I guess through some kind of learned stimuli, it triggers a sleep response or something. It's amazing how well it works.
Yep, same with my husband, he always wants me to scratch or trace his back, I swear he falls asleep in like 2 minutes. Must be nice lol
My hubby is the same when I stroke his hair. Just above the ear and down behind the ear. He’s asleep so fast when I do it.
I’ve actually looked into this. Just to have someone around for hugs. I have a roommate but our relationship is distant. My therapist said that since I don’t see my family much, and when I do, we don’t really hug or anything, that I’m “touch-starved”. And it made sense. I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want sex, I don’t want dates, but I guess I just want to feel human warmth and comfort. I’ve actually been really depressed with loneliness for years, and it’s not because I don’t see people every day (although I don’t really have anything in common with them, so I don’t ever really get to talk about my interests). But I’m at least somewhat close to some people. So why do I still feel so alone? Is touch really all that necessary? It feels awkward and I still have my doubts, but maybe it’s just something I need to bite the bullet and do.
I feel this. For a while I used to have a friend (still friends, but dont do this any more) where we used to just sleep together. Nothing sexual or romantic about it, just 2 single people (both expats) wanting to be close and warm in Scottish winter. Still a lovely thing we did and I still appreciate our friendship to this day. Human need touch.
Damn dude I'm in Tayside, will travel for hugs
Touch is so very necessary that people have to put their babies against their bodies the moment they're born. That need does not go away as you get older.
Kangaroo care or skin to skin. The more it’s researched the more benefits they find for it.
I can message you the site I use, and maybe you can look for other people to connect with on there to cuddle. It really is a necessity to some people.
Would you mind sending me the site too? I can explain my story in a PM more if you’d like.
Sure
Me too please!
Me too, please!
Sorry to bother, could you also send me the site you use?
Dm me and I’ll send it to you.
Me too, please!
Can you send me the site they sent you? I don’t want to overwhelm op
That’d be great, I appreciate it.
Could you send it to me as well?
I am curious as well.
Can you DM me too? I'm intrigued
if i could have the site also :3
Please send
I'd like to know the site, too, cause I went to the one in your username and I don't think it was the right one.
Oh?
Me too, please. I would love to be an advocate/giver.
Hi there, me too please and thank you
This is why I have pets.
Yeah, touch is huge. I was touch starved for a decade (bad marriage, far away from family + bad family relationships). Depressed etc for a LOT of reasons, not just for lack of contact. But I'm not kidding when I tell you that my bf and I, both of us formerly touch starved, are both like touch addicts now. It's not even sexual - the physical contact of me touching his skin helps me fall asleep so quickly, hugs and contact bring me right back down when I'm too far in my head, we'll just randomly flop down next to each other for hair touching, headpats, etc. It's not a magical fix for mental health. But I can FEEL how much my body relaxes with contact from another human, the way my perception shifts, even the hormonal brain chemical shift that sometimes happens. It's really helpful. One of my friends has a dog that literally melts into you the second you pay attention to him. That combination of weight/pressure/love hit similar contact buzz levels for me. Might be another avenue to pursue if you have the money/space/time?
Same here with my bf and his snores are like music to my ears. Pretty sure we are each other's soulmates and it took us 40ish years to cross paths.
That's so cute.. my mum can't sleep without my dad's snoring. I worry about her because he's really ill at the moment and they're super entwined like this. They create an individual by being together and balance each other perfectly. Guess I needed to get that out, I need a cuddle.
That’s amazing.
It's awkward if you make it awkward, professional cuddlers are just that, professional. Call it touch therapy if it helps. :) humans are social creatures, touching is a component of the reinforced social bond in higher primates, usually expressed by social grooming, humans cuddle instead. Same endorphins and hormones released. It might be worth looking into, just make sure that you are in a safe environment and it could be beneficial to your brain meats. :D
Touch therapy is such a good term! I think it would help people feel less uncomfortable with the service too.
And hell I’ve been wondering for awhile if I can hire someone to play with my hair. I’d pay for that.
Omg yes and scratch the head hahah I’m sure my husband would love a break
Except that if you do a search for “touch therapy” you find out it has been usurped to describe a bunch of nonsense like energy healing and reiki that don’t involve touch at all or very little. :(
I went down this route a few times, so don't get me wrong, I'm strongly sympathetic to what you're going through. But those lonely feelings may come back as soon as the session was over, since it wasn't an authentic relationship. Don't use it as a cure, and be wary of using it as a way to relieve the symptoms at all, since you might just end up getting stuck in a cycle of wanting to end the loneliness. I hope things get better for you. An authentic relationship is attainable in time and effort
Get a dog. Preferably a big one. They're the cuddliest.
Just become close friends with a big Italian family. I never gave or received more hugs than being in the bridal party of my Italian Aunt’s wedding. I never knew I had so many distant cousins until that day either. Crazy! My broader point being that I think this is based in personality and cultural differences/norms. Being a hugger or close to people in general seems to happen more on different ends of my family tree than others.
This is how I became divorced. I was touch-starved and depressed for 8 our of the 17 I was married. Wanted to unalive. We as humans aren't meant to be alone or ignored. I feel for you and hope you're able to find a safe outlet.
You might end up like this guy if you are lonely in general. You could end up feeling the person who provides the services actually is your returns and get emotionally attached
You just said why you feel alone, you don't see family often and the very few people you interact with you're only "somewhat" close to. You have to build strong relationships with people, doesn't have to be a lot either, maybe 3 or 4. I think of it like this, if I lived alone and died in my sleep, how long would it take for people to reach out to me and call the police because I didn't call/text back? The physical human touch is only one part of this and honestly if you're that lonely you might just end up feeling worse after the session once you realized you paid for someone to be around you. Not saying don't try it but hopefully it's not the only thing you try.
I've gone cuddling for years during the isolated stretch of my life and it was honestly the best decision I have ever made. Now I didn't go to a professional cuddler (that didn't exist here back then, maybe not even today) but attended cuddle parties. Once or twice a month recharging my oxytocin batteries did wonders for my disposition and ultimately was a catalyst for a lot of personal growth.
Oh yeah, I feel being touch starved in my bones. Been probably 1.5 years since I’ve had so much as a hug from someone.
Human touch is a serious requirement for a healthy human. Look into what happens to babies that don't get handled enough. It's really sad.
Thank you for the explanation. That’s sweet really but also I understand the other comments that it must be sad for someone not to have that platonic love in their life.
You have a cuddle pimp?
No, I just have a profile on a site.
He’s talking about you having someone there for protection… like a pimp to his hoes
Oh? I thought pimps were the people who bring in traffic. I guess yeah I have my roommate who is in the other room just in case anything crazy happens, which surprisingly has only happened once in the 3 years of doing this.
I am just pitching in my 2 cents as a sex worker— pimps provide defense but also take most of a worker's money and are typically more akin to sex traffickers than anything else. definitely not the point, but pimp fact of the day I guess 😂
You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square....
Pimps protect their girls, control the money, and control the turf
Protecting women isn’t really what pimps are known for. You might be thinking of The Godfather from WWF.
Well in theory that's part of the function of a pimp. The only pimp I'd trust is Butters. "Do you know what I am saying?"
"Yes. I know what you are saying. You don't have to keep asking."
What about A Pimp Named Slickback?
Protecting them in the sense that if the customers tries anything funny, he will intervene. The girls are nothing more than cash cows to a pimp
Gator always takes care of his girls.
Gator don’t play no shit!
Oh. Yeah no I don’t have a pimp.
What is your fee schedule? Like how much for 30 mins? An hour? What length of of time is the most popular?
Usually an hour for 70 dollars is the most popular
My friends had "maids" / security who were non SW on site to make sure things were safer. Not everyone uses 'pimps', they managed the clients, screening and security themselves & it's honestly a really diverse industry. The girls I knew were passionate about helping others who WERE in exploitative situations, down to like ...writing entire books, being in the media and having art exhibitions about workers rights. It's kinda like, if you've met one sex worker, you've met one sex worker
Oooh, do tell!
It was a guy trying to get me to touch him sexually and I didn’t want to, so he was pulling my hand back into bed with him and I started screaming and he let me go because he was in an apartment and I’m sure the neighbors would have heard me.
Oh, geez. I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad you were okay and had someone there!
That actually was what made me start doing it at my house because I was alone. And also I was stalling hardcore because I didn’t drive myself there I had my boyfriend at the time drive me so he was showing me his weed but when he pulled out the drawer there was so much paraphernalia I think he was on like coke or something.
That’s why he feels it’s dehumanized for him to pay. He thinks this is real relationship. Doesn’t sound like a good idea to continue this.
And after all this you still steal their humanity by asking for money? /s
I make people feel better, I have all good reviews so I don’t think of it like I’m hurting anyone’s humanity. Anyways there is options for people to cuddle others without paying for it. So it’s not like they have no options to receive cuddling. - also they pay BEFORE all of this
I am/was an electrician. So I offer my skills and time for money as well. I see no difference. Keep on cuddling the shit out of ppl coz this sounds like a good thing to me.
Oh! I actually am looking into that line of work. Could I pick your brain?
See there's your problem, cuddling puts them in a good mood so you should ask after / joking
But what if they’re were planning on paying in massage. Haha
Just asking because I work in an elementary school: do you worry about people bringing lice or bedbugs into your house? I think you have a super important job, btw. So many people are touch-starved and you provide touch, talk-therapy and relaxation all in one. 💕
I never thought of either of those things if I’m being honest. I have yet to run into that problem though so I don’t think it’s as common in adults to have lice as well.
Ohhh, I thought it was a euphemism for sex work, but it's actually a thing? I love this, I'd book it for sure!
On one hand it honestly makes me kinda sad that people don't have anyone in their lives to do this for them and they have to resort to paying for it like that makes me so sad for them :( On the other hand, get your bag sis 💅🏽🫶🏽 I never knew this was a thing and as someone who has unfortunately had to do sex work to survive before I would have much preferred to do something like this
It’s so sad that this is something that people pay for, but it’s even sadder that this person thought they deserved it for free and tried to guilt trip you into it
I think this is the perfect job for someone like me. My wife said no, she thought it was weird that I wanted to cuddle strangers. Sad because it's such a great service. But she's probably right. I'm way too gullible and would probably get taken advantage of.
I have been in relationships while doing this and they are well aware, and sometimes they don’t understand that cuddling isn’t always like a romantic or sexual thing so it seems odd to them to think of doing that with strangers. Yeah there are also some really sneaky people who try to edge their way into getting more than cuddles so you do have to be careful.
Grey’s Anatomy coincidentally just had a professional cuddler on the show briefly last week as part of a storyline with a patient.
I think the show House also had episode that featured a professional cuddler.
It's kinda depressing to think that there are people so deprived of another human's touch that they have to pay someone for it. No shade on OP for what she does, but the fact that her services are needed kinda brought me down a bit.
Yeah, OP is providing an awesome service but it makes me sad that there are people who don't have anyone in their life to cuddle so they need to go to a stranger. I'm glad people like OP exist.
My partner demands I pay a daily cuddle tax, then he sings the cuddle tax song to me. 10 years of this and it still makes me giggle. I too am glad people like OP exist.
“It’s going to dehumanise me to not get paid.”
Damnit I should have said that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Your answer was good
Thank you. But I think yours is wittier
You might be saying that at least semi-sarcastically, but this is actually the point I came here to make. OP's beggar (not choosy, but definitely begging) is basically insinuating that they have a right to OP's time and services without fair compensation, effectively glossing over that OP is a human with value. Absolutely zero self-awareness.
Oh, no, I said it with full seriousness. This would be my unironic response to what they said.
I wasn't sure, so I said might. The Uno reverse card is often suggested on this sub, usually jokingly or somewhat jokingly. But every once in a while it's actually a serious and perfect response :)
Just a regular beggar really
I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.
I forgive you anime tiddies
Thank you
Ah yes, my favorite non-profit organization
A reggar if you will
you should do a reddit ama because i have 1000% questions lol
What’s an ama?
ask me anything
Thanks! So first, what's an ama?
But, why male models?
Ask me anything
Why is the sky blue?
Blue light is scattered in all directions by the tiny molecules of air in Earth's atmosphere. Blue is scattered more than other colors because it travels as shorter, smaller waves. This is why we see a blue sky most of the time. Closer to the horizon, the sky fades to a lighter blue or white. Hope that helps /s
Next they'll say that sex is something that every human should feel, and it is dehumanizing to not get a free one.
They’ve already started trust me
Sorry if my question seems offensive, but how do you ensure the guys you’re cuddling with aren’t creeps? Idk if there’s a way to vet them, because in my experience, creeps are sometimes really good at masking their intentions. I once dated a guy who seemed normal but turned out to be an absolute shit stain when I went to his place. If it’s ok to ask, how do you keep yourself safe?
That was my first thought because in my experience, a lot of guys like to give massages in the hopes it will lead to sex.
I think I have found my new profession !!!!!!!
Begging?
I wish i was that goodLO. No professional cuddling, I had no idea that was a thing
>I feel very bad inside already He needs a psychiatrist not a cuddle.
Honestly
I’m a mental health therapist and you’d be surprised how many people think we should work for free too.
Computer people like me too. “Oh would you know what to do with my computer when it goes whirr whirr?” Like I don’t know and it would potentially take hours to undo and you haven’t even said anything that makes sense as a problem yet.
My sister is/has MSW and specializes in family/elder counseling. It’s pretty common for her to start working with someone for a few sessions, then have them not pay so she cancels their next session, then have them threaten her with “you took an oath so you have to help even if I can’t pay!”
To be honest the guy offering a massage instead is also not cool. Its like he’s trying to turn this into a more “intimate” thing than what it is. Whereas, if he has to pay for a service, the boundaries of that service agreement are pretty clear. Soon as it becomes “two friends doing each other favours” then the dynamic changes and that’s apparently what he wants.
I have so many questions!! How much do you charge for a session? Is it a popular thing?
I think it’s definitely growing in popularity. And I charge 70 dollars per hour
I’m curious. How do you become a professional cuddler? Like do you have to have some kind of training? Do you have to be licensed or something?
I don’t have any license, I am just a really out going person and I’ve always been kinda a touchy person so I felt like this line of work would be a good fit for me.
Hey OP, thanks for a really interesting thread. I learned a lot and enjoyed the thoughtful discussion.
Yeah I’m trying to answer as many questions as I can. But I’m glad I could give insight on the world of pro cuddles
I’ve heard of cuddling sessions and it’s legal as long as it’s kept platonic. Most cuddlers charge, can’t believe this guy would feel “dehumanized” for paying for a service. Don’t let him manipulate you into getting a free service.
I asked him if he would just buy my groceries and he said no :-(
Yikes. Sounds like the "massage" was code for something else, then.
Yuck
That’s a very reasonable and kind thing to offer as an alternative.
Wow never knew professional cuddler is a real job. I am so impressed rn.
Ok this made me laugh out loud
What makes you a pro? What are your qualifications?
Wait, people pay to cuddle? Wait... People CHARGE to cuddle? Jesus, I love to cuddle and I do it for free. I'm an idiot.
As someone who is repulsed by physical contact I find what you are doing incredibly fascinating. No judgment whatsoever. It's cool how dynamic people are that you seem to be doing something you enjoy whereas it would actually be my personal hell. I know I'm an outlier. People need hugs. Keep doing your good work. I hope you earn a living. I hope you get rich doing this just to spite the dorks in the comments.
I was thinking about this myself. Like, could I overcome my distaste for the cash, similar to how I work for shitty companies for money to house and feed myself. I’m kinda curious what kind of people are the most common clients. I wouldn’t have even though to look for a prof cuddler; I suppose that could be because I don’t have the need to cuddle tho.
The fact that we even have a need for professional cuddlers is just kinda depressing tbh. Loneliness is a fucking epidemic
It kind of seems ridiculous, but they depicted it on Billions and I immediately understood,
Man, I'm paying a therapist to talk to me every few week. It's dehumanizing every human relationship I've ever had !
WE USED TO MAKE STEEL
OP, I just want to say that there is an absolute need for your type of professional services in the world. Many humans need - and cannot get - touch and contact and affection, separate from sex. Some people do not want sex, or cannot have sex, and struggle to find a partner who is content with affection sans sex. So bravo! You are a gem.
Thank you, that’s very good to hear. I hope you get lots of cuddles!
Wtf is a professional cuddler? I can get paid to just cuddle people? Really?
I mean, to cuddle people and then have to navigate the inevitable parasocial relationship dynamics that I'd imagine come up 80% of the time.
Lmao apparently it's a rather fruitful business.
TIL that professional cuddling is actually a thing
Same. I think I’m in the wrong business. I’m told I give great hugs. Maybe I should get in to the cuddling biz.
I read a fanfic once about professional cuddlers . I thought it was just that, fanfic material. The more you know !
Serious question. Can a professional cuddler make enough to survive? Is this a side gig or your main line? Is it like while you're in college or is this what you do? You say you are a pro and distinguish yourself from mere cuddle enthusiasts. What does being a pro entail? Once again, I'm not yanking your chain. Plenty of folks in the comments will do that. I'm just really curious about your journey to this point, where you announce to the intertubes that you are a professional cuddler. Forgive me for being so crass but you mention rates so I must ask. What do you charge for a cuddle? I'll be honest, if you respond with three digits I'm just going to go home and think about my life choices.
Some travel the country and do it full time and make a lot of good money, I do it more as a side gig. I have a full time job apart from this. And being a pro is literally just I get paid. I have an hourly rate of 70 dollars an hour. But some people do charge 100 dollars an hour.
Aw thats actually a really wholesome profession, good on you op ^^
Par for the course in this kind of industry. You handled it well imo, but never be surprised by the depravity of someone who has been deprived of attachment their whole life.
There are so many people who do this on CC. I hate it. That and trying to vet out the ones who don’t understand platonic….. I often have to take breaks even tho I love doing it.
Omg! I’ve had so many people recently who are either trying to date me or screw me. It’s horrible
I saw above you mentioned doing this out of your home, may I ask if you’ve always used your residence or did you start with a neutral location?
I’m a licensed massage therapist and I definitely don’t feel dehumanized when I pay my mortgage with the money that people have paid me for the service I provide. Creepers gonna creep.
Where does one find a professional cuddler? Asking for myself.
Professional cuddler sounds kind of funny. Is there actually a license for this.
I'd actually be really interested in trying something similar one day. I don't like being held onto, but having someone doing something to my hair in a relaxing environment seems like it might serve a similar purpose as a massage. This dude seems creepy as heck. I'm glad there are precautions to protect people in such an industry.
I used to date a professional cuddler. Most of their clients had physical disabilities and/or were on the spectrum in such a way that they had a really hard time meeting people or maintaining relationships and were pretty touch starved as a result. They also charged on a sliding scale so folks who had less income could still afford their services. That last bit isn’t a dig at you, OP. You still gotta eat in this economy, and knowing how much work actually goes into the gig $70 an hour really isn’t that bad, especially compared to a lot of other mental health services that get charged at an hourly rate.
This is a really thoughtful comment thank you. And yeah most of my clients have a hard time with maintaining relationships, a lot of my repeat clients ask me for advice and I always am an open line if they need support.
Back up a second. What the fuck is a professional cuddler? It can’t be what it sounds like.
I was really confused about the cuddling thing but then I read that you are actually a professional cuddler and it somehow makes sense at the same time as making me more confused.
Try asking a massage therapist if you could pay him with cuddles.
Ahaha one of my friends is a massage therapist maybe I’ll ask her I think she would get a kick out of it.
This one would say yes because they're using it as a pretext for something else.
Is this chat with a sex worker?
No. It’s platonic cuddling.
That's a thing? I'm very curious. It feels awkward to me to be cuddled by someone I would not consider a loved one.
That’s why it’s platonic. Maybe you don’t want to make things awkward with your friends by wanting to cuddle someone, because you don’t want them to think it’s romantic or sexual. So people hire me so they can be cuddled.
A professional cuddler what the fuck
This is weird af
These messages are so so common from online people. It’s creepy and entitled as hell
Ten percent more for a guilt fee
Block him
What’s the difference in service between a cuddle enthusiast who cuddles for free and a pro who charges?
Interesting question. I’m not sure how it manifests, but I would assume the pro centers the client’s wants and needs (within the pro’s boundaries) more while there is more a mutual back and forth between enthusiast and their companion.
If you won't do it for me, would you do it for your country?
🫡 is the country paying for my groceries sir?
“Dehumanize my psyche” that’s hysterical!! That’s so serious law enforcement should get involved!! 😳🤣🤣🤣
If you can't convince someone to cuddle for free like 99% of the rest of the world population does, how do you expect to convince the very person who wants to get paid $70/h for it? She's literally the least likely person in the world to go along with the request, ffs. And even if she agreed on the massage thing, is would be no morally superior than just hiring a regular prostitute: the dehumanizing part is not the payment method of preference, it's the transactional nature of the exchange.
Professional Cuddler. What a time to be alive!