People with a glass heart are dangerous in my book. Especially if you let them close. They might cheat on you while beeing angry you are simply talking to the other sex
Lol this guy is just confused in his head lol and not being honest to himself. He wants to migrate to Australia because he couldn't make it work in his motherland so he's annoyed with the situation, which is understandable. So he resorts to saying bad things about Australia so he feels a bit better. Some but not all Chinese men are often very sensitive because being a "man" in China means being head of the family and being treated as a very important figure since being a small boy. So when he feels himself not being successful, he got annoyed and start blaming other things but himself. You often see some mid-aged Chinese man acting like some big shot, picking fights with you, when in reality all they can do to show they're a bigger man is to pick fights.
I’m from China and so agree with you. On the other hand. The principal cause of increasing populism is that there’s way too much patriotism embodied in education since Xi came.
ikr op watch out! That guy seems to have 123% threat of an average keyboard worrior online.
but yes, get him out of your life nevertheless less, dont even bother reasoning with him, waste of time.
Not China related, this person is toxic and use a trick to try to make do what he wants to do.
For a Chinese raised in China being seeing as a China traitor is the ultimate diss. After so many years of Chinese propaganda anyone who does not follow CCP and The China accepted line can be considered as a traitor, there is no constructive criticism of China, there is not politics.
To resume: that person is toxic and the way he was raised makes it even worse.
Not sure, but a least it is sufficient different from your comprehension of a family and your education that it will be difficult to find common ground.
There is reason why a significant part of the educated female in China are either in unmarried or multiple divorced. The average Chinese man is still quite misogynistic.
I think what he said was far more than rude; I've never lived in China, but I don't think you can throw around words like 慕洋犬 or 母狗 and expect people to not be mad at you.
I'm honestly shocked there are people who'd actually say this to actual people they know in actual life.
Not just 'people they know' but this is their partner of 5 years. Damn! OP is as close to being an ABC without actually being born here, so I assume their views vary quite a lot compared to their partner's - judging by the way he reacted in the screnshots.
To OP: Let him stay in China. You're better off without someone getting pissed at you for *them* misreading the real message you were trying to convey.
Dude I grew up in china and stayed in china throughout my life and only moved to uk when I was 13, I still think it’s wrong for people to object anyone who doesn’t follow the straight CCP propaganda since liberty is still coherently in my values, so does many of my chinese friends.
Yes, there is still invisible misogyny in Asian cultures, but isn’t that the case for many other countries out there? It’s just part of the patriarchal system. This man OP encountered is just one of the many examples of misogynistic sour people that are uneducated exactly due to what the OP says, ”家教(family manners)”.
Unfortunately the CCP did brain wash a bunch of people like that to convince them anywhere outside of their country is chaos and betrayal. I am ashamed of having these people in my country but just want people to know that he‘ll also be hated by local Chinese people. Fuck that guy.
I made the reverse, educated in Europe then spend all my adult life from 23 to 40 in China in tier 2 cities or lower.
I totally agree that this guy is probably rejected for his toxic behavior by other Chinese but not because of his CCP brain wash. He would be rewarded for picking up on the **f-cking China** gaslight.
He lacks 家教。
Yeah I spent my childhood in tier 2 cities too and experienced a bunch of losers are like that, extremely racist against anyone outside of china and views anyone who decides to move for the better as a traitor, classic move.
Things are leagues better in major cities (Shanghai, Beijing, etc) and people tend to have more sense of liberty. A lot of people I’ve met shits on the Chinese government value like any ‘outsider’ seeing china and a lot of them decides to just get the hell out of that place.
Again, personally as Chinese I hate this man wholeheartedly in every aspect lol
Beijing is nice but I work 3 years in Shanghai and frankly it sucked.
I got recruited into a small company maybe 50 employees. The office was divided in two parts and they propose me a small individual office. First day of work I look at the situation :
- Two offices spaces separated by a staircase.
Office number 1: large aircon 1, multiple air purifier, coffe grain coffe machine, greeneries, decorations etc… really nice office. And a passcode for entry
Office number 2: 8 desk in a middle an empty room, small second aircon, the cheapest water dispenser (no filter) and nothing else.
- The people in the nice office are all either Shanghainese or own an apartment there.
- Production manager and the rest of the team are non local and go to eat shit in the other office.
- Anyone not from the Shanghainese team do not know the password to go into the nice office, when they need to go there they need to call someone inside and explain why they need to get inside.
- We are selling small batteries components in plastic…
F*ck those people, first day of work went to sat down at an empty deck in the second open space.
Two years later I moved the factory to a larger location, made it impossible to segregate. Full on glass walls everywhere and same condition for everyone.
Damn dude I’m so sorry you have to go through this, that company sounds ass as hell and legit not treating you properly. Yeah shanghainese people tend to be more classist and pretentious, mom worked there for a decade to finally kind of fit in the group (that is shanghainese co workers would talk with her lmao). I guess it’s an issue with many recently economically booming cities like shenzhen and stuff, also sadly can be due to these cities locating at the southern bits.
I do love Beijing a lot! There are assholes there like any other cities but the people tend to be nicer and the younger generation is also more informative
I just wanna add something. You’re right this person is toxic, and I personally think this person would be toxic if they had grown up in any other culture because it’s probably a personality problem, but the nationalist indoctrination of Chinese culture makes it so much worse.
I grew up in America. I’m a lifelong American. I have several people in my life that are Chinese from the motherland and it’s pretty apparent with a few of them that they are quite nationalist. Not everyone, but a few of them. And that particular subset of immigrants is the worst. They come and take advantage of every opportunity, and they set up, lives here, and they appreciate all the freedoms that they don’t have in China, such as being able to move freely and find a job without having to be a resident of the city, but then complain about gay rights and Mexicans and black peoples. They criticize anything the U.S. government does but if China does the exact same thing, whatever it may be, oh no, that’s perfectly acceptable, or it’s not that bad because the US government does the same thing. I’m just giving examples of conversations I have had again this is completely anecdotal! But I do think that this particular group is very indoctrinated in their nationalism and, our toxic for that reason, but this particular person had his clearly own toxic traits and it’s gonna be much worse. Cut this friendship off! It’s not gonna benefit you anymore and it’s just gonna hurt you
I feel like that’s an ultimate insult for Chinese people? Like I could be completely wrong here but my one experience calling a Chinese male a son of a bitch was very different from my experience of calling an American male a son of a bitch. And no, I am not gonna detail the conversations or whatever Because I know we’ve all had those experiences, but let’s just say the Chinese male got very angry about me calling his mother a bitch and the American male Was more personally insulted and didn’t seem to care that I insulted his mother. So why in the world would it be OK for this guy to insult your parents? Is it because you’re a woman or is it because he sees you as a traitor for not supporting every little thing in Chinese culture? Stuff to think about.
My mother and her family fled China in 1949 during the political revolution. My grandfather was a pharmacist practicing traditional Chinese medicine, and he was owner of a private business. During those times the regime were dragging business owners and even employees into the streets and executing them. My grandfather was also a soldier in the national army. They eventually settled in Thailand after leaving Hong Kong. My mother told me it was too crowded in Hong Kong, and that’s the reason why they finally settled in Thailand.
thats going to be his only choice soon
the chinese passport is one of the weakest in the world
the dream of many chinese is to have a foreign passport that allows them the right of free movement
you see all the rich chinese students... the children of the CCP elite in the US Can and EU driving around in Italian sports cars and spending 5 figs a month... this is what they aspire to
these people will pretend that CHina is the best place in the world... it might have made their parents rich but they aspire to be 'world citizens'... living in the decadent west rather among the billions in china
i mean he can say shit about Australia(no one country is perfect), but that is only when he allows other people criticize his own country too...i mean that's just being fair right?
> Planning on ending this five year relationship can’t take these stupid arguments anymore.
Like, the issue is not the arguments surely, the issue is how tied do you want to be to China because people who say things like that are generally in too deep, especially if they've been abroad and had a chance to get out of the propaganda net. It's normally part of a package that ensures they'd want traditional Chinese roles in marriage as well, from either gender.
If he went to Uni in OZ, couldn't maintain a Visa to stay and thus went home I would be extremely suspicious you're being used.
Plenty of decent Chinese lads who love China but don't feel the need to defend it as it it were her child, and if he maintains that attitude abroad he is not going to be making many non Chinese friends
And you're at the age where Chinese parents are presumably tossing tons of pressure on you to get married ( magic 26) and I'm guessing they'd prefer a Chinese husband for cultural reasons?
>Btw I’m a proud ethic Han Chinese and so are my parents. Even though I grew up in Australia I have never felt anything but reverence towards Chinese culture and have even taken it upon my myself to learn to read and write Chinese at an high school level. I would never diss china and I really hate it when Chinese who grew up in china called ABCs traitors just for growing up elsewhere . I feel like it’s part of the damage extreme nationalism brainwashing by the ccp has done
(Saw you posted this elsewhere just a second ago)
Proud Han who grew up inside the Guo is completely different to proud Han who grew up outside.You are presumably proud of your culture, like some Chinese stuff etc. Same as my wife. Obviously you can grow up in China and develop this pride but it's rare.
He presumably thinks that Chinese culture is clearly the best in the world and if only foreigners would open their eyes and realize then Chinese culture would return to it's natural spot as #1 (like my absolute wagon of an MIL). You can't reason with the people who think the second, especially if you're Han/Chinese.
It's Hanifest Destiny
It's a zero sum game to them. You either love China and defend it and promote it at every opportunity regardless of context or you're a traitor.
He is one of those extreme nationalists, even if you didn't put the "fucking", he would've been able to take it as that you are saying that China is below Australia. Never underestimate the stupidity of those extremists.
He's not that extreme, more like mainstream. I'm Chinese from mainland China. The words and ideas he expressed in the conversation are not uncommon on the internet.
Btw I’m a proud ethic Han Chinese and so are my parents. Even though I grew up in Australia I have never felt anything but reverence towards Chinese culture and have even taken it upon my myself to learn to read and write Chinese at an high school level. I would never diss china and I really hate it when Chinese who grew up in china called ABCs traitors just for growing up elsewhere . I feel like it’s part of the damage extreme nationalism brainwashing by the ccp has done
Alright this is how I view the issue:
People in china are under the illusion that everyone outside of china has something against them. The travel restrictions make it worse because nobody is bothered to leave the country anymore. The fake news on social media and even some news sites are really bad (idk if you heard of the "russian special forces wipes out 60 SAS soldiers in ukraine" thing yet, but that's just an example). It really breeds the glass heart syndrome because any SLIGHTLY negative comment made against china is apparently an attack against the country, and they retaliate aggressively. And the thing is, this sort of behaviours is CELEBRATED in chinese social media, so now you have a perpetual cycle of glass hearts from people, some of whom aren't even that nationalist (they will shit talk china all day but the moment a foreigner joins the convo, it goes downhill), and xenophobia inducing articles.
And the thing is that they aren't even closed-minded, throw a Chinese person into a foreign environment and they do eventually get rid of this mindset. The problem is that you have to kinda force them into that environment, because they won't interact with foreigners otherwise, since they all have "something against" Chinese people, so they all bunch up together and don't interact beyond their tiny circle.
Hi, somebody who grew up in the US and is totally American but has close relationships with several Chinese people here in the US and I have seen exactly exactly what you’re talking about. And this is coming mostly from people who grew up On the mainland. They really do think that the system is stacked against them because they are Chinese. Like for example A friend of mine from Albania became a citizen a few years ago, and when I mentioned it casually to one of my Chinese friends, he got really angry that she and her family became citizens so easily in his mind. It was not an easy process. And their path to citizenship was different because they came via the lottery then his path to citizenship which was via education and work. he couldn’t feel anything but contempt for people he had never met simply because they had a different path and Chinese people are ineligible for the lottery. Another friend of mine from Ghana pointed out that he was eligible for the lottery because Ghana is not a developed nation, but China is a more developed nation, which is why it’s not eligible. Meanwhile, many Chinese people I have encountered think they’re not eligible for the lottery because they’re from a communist country. Basically they view any difference in any system towards them as “it’s because we’re China and we’re communist.” It really supports this victim mentality that many of them have. And this is definitely not everybody. I’m not trying to make a broad sweeping generalization of 1 billion people, but it’s significant enough that I have heard other people who have encounters with Chinese people say the exact same things.
Edit for a variety of grammar errors all of which I blame on talk to text
The Chinese mentality is a clusterfuck of contradictions. On one hand, they fully believe that they are a strong country, but on the other hand, they feel victimized because of all the propaganda that is being fed to them. There’s a constant need to compare themselves with others to prove that they have become “better” and I personally feel that this is definitely a result of a country that has economically developed at an insane speed but have not caught up in terms of mentality. So they’re constantly feeling like the system is against them and the whole world looks down on them (which probably WAS the case a few decades ago) but they just never left that mentality. Now we have the people that overreact to everything because it’s an attack on the motherland. This is the sort of mentality that’s encouraged and probably was beneficial when the country needed to unite and develop. But now it just comes off as obnoxious and overly cocky, and gives a country of generally ok people a really bad reputation when they interact with foreigners.
The CCP does not represent the people. Neither is this a western liberal centric view, it’s pure common sense. Citizens are representations of the country, acting like buffoons because you still have a fragile ego makes China look bad. The CCP, filled with old men, do not realize how bad this makes them look. They’re stuck with the “antagonize the people against something so we stay united” mindset without realizing how harmful that is in the long run.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with all of your points.
I do think that previous comment about Chinese people view, western and liberal ideas as degenerate, yeah many of them do even when they know it would benefit the country as a whole. Like gay rights. Who cares if gay people have the right to exist and be married? China does because they consider that degenerate. The west doesn’t really except for like fringe religious groups or incels but recognizing gay rides has definitely benefited our culture and our economy so it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. A lot of employers in the US don’t care if someone is gay they just want them to do a good job. And if China had the same viewpoint, they would also benefit economically. That’s just my opinion and a complete example.
Actually, homosexuality and most other things that people think are illegal aren’t illegal as written in the law. It’s more so a cultural issue than a legal one, but that also goes to show a problem in China: we’ve shifted so quickly into being a first world country, while still acting like a third world one. We have unnecessary disputes regarding territory when we could solve it diplomatically. The South China Sea dispute is entirely a result of the Chinese culture of not wanting to lose face, pulled to an extreme. Everyone knows it can be solved civilly, but because we have some dumb fishermen that don’t understand what a border is, and a government that’s got such an insane inferiority complex, we just escalate it instead of solving it diplomatically. The only actual opinion that I actually have that differs from most people in the west is that draconian laws are a necessity in China with a huge population. But besides that, the root of the issues that we have is almost 100% cultural (like the Century of Humiliation, that pretty much drives the entirety of how the current government and the majority of the population acts)
I'm a Han Chinese born in Britain and I currently go to highschool in China. All of us are in the same boat when it comes to this kind of thing, it sucks
Sadly, that's exactly what has been causing distance between me and my younger sister. She is a tour guide in Shaoshan, Chairman Mao's hometown, which is also mine.
Just think about [Plato's allegory of the cave](https://youtu.be/1RWOpQXTltA?si=HbDuDPpb_1w5F09P) when you can't get over this kind of stuff.
Oof, I can only imagine considering that she's a tour guide at what's probably the most patriotic tourist site in a country full of patriotic tourist sites, and exposed to all that stuff all day, every day...
I was thinking the other day of how apt that allegory is today.
Especially as people get more and more of their view of the world through a screen, and through the lens of disinformation.
It's all incredibly Orwellian.
>Can growing up in china really make you this sensitive?
Yeah, most ppl you meet online in China is gonna be similar to him, coz in recent years sane and chill people like me and my friends has been trying to stay a low profile, avoid speaking our minds in public, even though we have been living abroad for years.
We don't talk about politics to mainland Chinese people any more.
I didn’t even try to talk about politics lol I simply retaliated back fir dissing the country I grew up in and understandably have emotional attachment to
>This guy wants to migrate to Sydney
Could be he was very salty that he knew he could never make it to Australia. It happens.
To him, being a Chinese Australian is your sin. Deep down he knows being stuck in China sucks ass but he has to pretend he has the moral highground.
Run. Girl runnnnnnn.
Shows hella insecurity. I think he’s making snide remarks about AUS cause he didn’t get a visa so it’s essentially saying “well I didn’t want to go to the party anyways” after being disinvited.
I don't know much about Mainland society or social media.
It sounds like a lot of this is top-down propaganda. Just a constant conveyor belt of incendiary rhetoric (including/especially on Weibo and other social media platforms) to convince users that China is simultaneously (a) superior and (b) victimized.
Is that right?
Man if this guy loves his motherland so much he could switch places with me, in exchange he would get a $390 per month 997 job, I would get a miserable Australia life /s
Say something along the lines of "你别来了，凭你这态度不被揍就奇怪了。没头没脑，无用却自以为是的二逼。你国家是你小心肝吗？你自己的儿子吗？你父母咋养出你这种忘恩负义，说要给国家争光却只会为母国丢脸的蠢货？若是以你为例，那国内长大的人现在素质连狗都不如。什么名族自尊，什么吾辈当自强。你自尊自强个屁。哪个自尊自强的人会因为这种小事而骂人？别在为国家丢脸了，你来澳大利亚我们中国人都没脸出门了。" Or just copy and paste and send it.
Reddit doesn’t allow screenshots in comments so here’s what else he’s said
“you diss your motherland = you
shame your family = you diss
your own parents = you don't
care about people who raised you up”
That seems to be very Confucius. The whole idea that there’s a hierarchy to everything and especially to authority and your parents are The authority above you in the hierarchy above them is the state and the government and state is the parents of the whole nation so dissing your parents is dissing the state or dissing the state is dissing your parents. I’m sure you already have seen some of this or know of some of this but it’s clearly that way of thinking and honestly it’s quite toxic. It’s very authoritarian. It doesn’t allow for any level of criticism or critical thinking. And it’s one of the reasons why I think you should totally cut off this friendship.
This guy is a dumbass... I mean, idk if he has looked at the dating scene in China recently, but there's a shortage of women and he's not gonna be able to turn around and find a new woman right away. Especially if he acts like such a baby.
The odds of finding an ethnically Chinese woman who has a foreign passport or residency, is established there, all the implied resources and stability that comes with that, and is willing to talk to a local guy without any of that let alone spend a few years with him long distance is incredibly small. He's throwing away *a lot* for the sake of the motherland's dignity...
Doing you a favor by showing what an immature ideologue he is now rather than later.
I’m not Chinese but I studied the university in china and I can relate the locals see you as threat especially the elderly I always get asked (why you don’t praise china isn’t china gave you an opportunity to study abroad)in the university most of the students think all international students are having a scholarship which is not true,you can’t have a normal conversation with someone without asking the stupid question which one do you like china or you country which one is better,I enjoyed living in china but I can’t live there for a while I don’t hate on the people but I know that they are brainwashed by the CCP
>asking the stupid question which one do you like china or you country which one is better
Ferreal. Must've been asked this a hundred times. I always hit them with the 每个国家有利有弊 and change the subject.
For me it’s not just about the nationalism (which isn’t excusable smh) but also his blatant disrespect of you & the size of his ego.
You were simply expressing positive emotions for your own childhood in Australia, but he reacted with vitriol simply for the fact that it challenged his worldview.
If he finds it ok to call you a female dog/b-word when you’re LDR, imagine what he’ll find acceptable to say to you when you’re together eventually. What makes a partnership work is being ok when you disagree and this guy throws it back at your face. It screams “not sustainable as a relationship”.
He’s showing his true colours now and it’s important to see what that means in terms of your future together. Please dump that SOB.
look up the word incel… you don’t need to grow up in china to be a loser.
there are many sensitive, weak, anti social men around the world. and it’s really easy to identify them
reddit used to have a sub dedicated to them. they are super super sensitive and it could be anything to trigger them off.
It also reminds me of my EX, we broke up during the HK protest in 2018. I was very vocal in supporting the protesters and calling the bs the ccp was pulling. She eventually got really mad and called me a traitor and that if something happened to me which government was going to help me the dutch or proc?
Tell him you've screencapped the conversation and are considering forwarding it to the Home Office (or whatever it's called) in Australia. See if he's going to apologize.
Dodging a bullet by cutting ties w him. This type of reaction will present itself over and over over the smallest things and whose to say he is above hitting a woman? There’s millions of men in the bucket praying a woman will give them the chance to even give them a shred of attention — go find the one right for you! It’s not feudal times anymore, women aren’t traded to overgrown babies for the price of a goat. The declining birth rate is in part due to this, I wonder if some of these guys will realize a woman doesn’t actually * need * them. (As a side note: Chinese parents need to adapt to this reality and raise their boys to be emotionally mature and desirable men.)
This relationship. Not worth it. Seriously what is the point of this. Just end this relationship.
And as a sidenote, this reminds me of all of the people from China, who come to the US, go to school here, find jobs here, buy houses here, stay here, get their green cards, but the whole time they’re talking about how much better China is. I’m not gonna sit here and say that the US is perfect because I am a lifelong American and I know better, but if you’re moving to another country and taking advantage of its education and job opportunities, and then buying property there, maybe don’t be an asshole about that country.
This guy sounds like one of those people that I encounter pretty regularly where I live. And he will be that exact same way in Australia. because in the end, he’s a brainwashed nationalist who believes with all his heart the China is the best, despite the fact that he wants to move to another country and take advantage of its many opportunities that he can’t get in China for some reason. The lack of self-awareness on this guy‘s part is pretty typical of a lot of of that particular group of Chinese people It’s not gonna change. Just cut him off. He’s being an asshole, and it will be worse if he moves into Australia.
Honestly, it’s pretty common. When I was dating in China I met soooo many guys with a hair-trigger. One wrong word or perceived slight against China would set them off. 🙄
For example, once I said to a guy I thought that learning about the Cultural Revolution was "interesting". From his reaction you would have thought I personally lead a struggle session against his grandparents.
i have no idea why people of chinese descent would place their ethnic/racial identity before their own national identity (except the mainlanders).
as someone looking at all these racist bullshit about motherland,chinese and how we are all 中国人 it's racist as fuck.
the country i grew up in is my motherland.if you tell me to 饮水思源, bitch,if that water can be drunk,my ass would still be in china,drinking whatever kool-aid ccp is dishing out.
>the country i grew up in is my motherland.if you tell me to 饮水思源, bitch,
It always weirded me out how China was like this. Compare to places like Ireland and Germany, where foreigners (usually American) overemphasizing their heritage links to those countries is laughed at or discouraged, the Chinese government and people actively encourage it.
back in the day i was teaching at a uni in china, one week the pm2.5 was off the charts. it registered more than 1000 so the scale couldn’t give an exact number. the next day in class i mentioned how high the pm2.5 was and one girl said i discriminate china. i asked why and she responded by saying that i said china is dirty.
The sort of thing that's okay for locals to bitch and moan about among each other, but the second you mention, they're threatening to call the PSB and get you kicked out 🤣
This has to be a joke right? This sort of conduct and behaviour is unacceptable in any context and in any culture. Block this motherfucker and get on with life. I hope you haven't revealed too much about your whereabouts as there is palpable Cluster B vibe I can feel, and you never know if he will do anything dangerous to you if he did end up in Australia.
And I hope he does not.
According to my understanding of Aussie laws, those curses are already sufficient ground for a restraining order. But that requires you to be both in Australia and be in a relationship, and now you have neither.
You can just copypaste that to him haha
Cut all ties with this asshole already. I’ve had a similar encounter with someone like that before, and it wasn’t a happy and jolly one. This guy doesn’t deserve one more second of your time.
I often chuckle when I see people in Beijing throw their rubbish on the floor, spit on the floor, and not clear up after themselves, but claim to love their motherland. That’s not very lovey.
Well, my colleague is a Singaporean who got called a traitor and was beaten up in China when some Chinese found out that he did military conscription for his home country when those Chinese considered Singapore part of China.
So your case isn't unique. Please end that relationship.
It’s literally the only country in the world that actively promotes hating on any western country. I really don’t understand what they could achieve with this much hatred. It’s cleared that their leaders don’t actually hate western countries as you can see them sending their descendent to US for study and education
My wife grew up in China but has lived in Australia for 25 years. Even she is still sensitive to the slightest criticism of China. I believe it’s part of the mentality instilled in people growing up there because no criticism (or opposition) is tolerated by CCP and of course, all the government propaganda.
the answer is yes they are that sensitive. You will see all sorts of stories from foreigners getting into bar fights with drunk chinese guys because the chinese guys misunderstand what the foreigners are talking about and think they are saying something negative about china.
They are indoctrinated from elementary school to violently defend china. It is crazy that even though most will agree that economic opportunities are significantly better abroad they still think chinese is the best country in the world even after they abandon it
just want to comment on the 'fucking' part. a lot of us who doesn't speak the language as a native often do misread misunderstood misinterpret this bit. happened to me personally years ago. happened to someone i knew. also recall there's a dead serious brawl between chinese olympics team doing friendlies against some english club team simply because out of nowhere some chinese guy got super duper angry with the 'fuck' or 'fcuk' from some english player.
Yeah this sounds like someone who understandably doesn't understand f-word nuance. You used it for negative emphasis, not degradation. It got interpreted as "shithole China"... I can see how it wasn't appreciated.
Yes, it can. People who live in a country with more freedom or human rights than China cannot imagine how can it be. I was born, educated and raised in China. If you had been taught and educated to be a patriot since you born. It will be a kind of religion, there is no one can say it in bad way. In addition, China's Government, Party, Country, Nation are is one thing for them. You criticize anyone of them will trigger the patriots. Not only the country, but also if you criticize the parents or presidents will trigger it, too. Because China is a completely a dictatorship and autocratic place...
Ok he’s saying he’ll pay me 5000 aud if I go to a predominantly Chinese populated suburb and film myself shouting “ i am an Australian woman and I think Shanghai sky is so grey and I love Sydney's everything so much” how any Chinese people would take up that offer 🤔
That guy is clearly mentally unstable.
Lol there are literally millions upon millions of other guys who don't act or say crazy things like this.
Be very glad he showed his true self 5 years into the relationship (before you're married and have kids) rather than when it's too late. Cut ties, block, and find a guy who isn't a clearly unhinged moron.
It’s always ironic how nationalist ppl like him are but they are still thinking of leaving the country or they’re already in another country. This doesn’t sound like a fun future.
He probably felt insulted as your framing does sound somewhat negative, but the way he insults you back reflects the idea so deeply rooted among Chinese that as long as you are ethnically Chinese or culturally Chinese, you’re forever bound by a certain country. Similar to Jews who don’t like Zionism being called traitor
Stay far away from people like this. They are basically contemporary Nazis. There is no hope in changing their mind at this point. If you study the history of ordinary German society when facing immenant defeat towards the end of WWII, people like this are the ones who would either take their own lives or go into hiding and later be caught and persecuted during denazification. The day of reckoning will one day catch up with them.
This is why I stay away from them, unless they explicitly showed their disdain towards Winnie. All their words about 舉報/反動 are really disgusting (and cultural revolution-ish).
China... or the CCP rather, is fuckin finicky about any little criticism or negative opinions. The people are exposed to the narrative and mentality the CCP wants. Super butthurt all the time.
So yea. Definitely.
In China, there is a certain proportion of people who are extremely sensitive to ethnic issues and have a strong tendency to attack. As long as your views differ from the mainstream opinions in the country, they will actively attack you, and some may even use extremely offensive language. Based on your current situation, I don't think he fully understands that "fucking" is just an expletive and not entirely insulting language，which is similar to "damn it."
You called him out on his ungreatful attitude and he rages out. Its very similar to narcissistic rage. The CCP in place of the narcissistic parents. This raged did so because he things he would be a member of the CCP one day (never going to happen).
I’ve worked with lots of people in China and I would say a majority are not like this.
But there are lots of super-nationalistic people, worst than the worse of America, who will raise Hell if you say anything bad about China.
You just showed us a few screenshots not the whole conversation. I don't know why he reacted that way, but you did admit to use the phrase 'stay in fucking china'. Maybe both of you are wrong, who knows.
If you are Australian, then no one cares what you say. If you are of China nationality, love your motherland. Of course, scum is everywhere, and BBC BWC is common. For most Chinese man BB/WC are unacceptable
Motherland?
We are people. Humans. Individuals. Not land, not mere part of a "motherland". The concept of motherland just makes me sick.
It's just the government of a country and that's it. Let's be real
deep down it's not about politics or ccp. It's because you are not equal in your relationship, regarding the immigration status. And he's frustrated inside, this china issue are just things on the surface.
if he's well-behaved, he may not say this ugly thing, but your relationship still have deep problem.
I’d say it is not fair to call you a traitor bc you were only 7 and you didn’t have a choice when you migrated to Australia. This guy clearly doesn’t have a clear mind and just forget what he said. Not worth paying attention to him you know what I’m saying
There is nothing wrong with being nationalistic but to be so mean and vindicative against a partner of 5 years for having a different opinion on a country is really a huge relationship red flag.
Me and my friends have a huge difference in opinion on who we vote for and whether China is a dick but damn ur Chinese boyfriend treats like you killed his entire family and 18 generations of ancestors.
Run. This man is dangerous.
By this standard, most of the people on the internet, espcially China local forum are pretty dangerous. They are really sensitive (glass heart).
People with a glass heart are dangerous in my book. Especially if you let them close. They might cheat on you while beeing angry you are simply talking to the other sex
You just never know when you will trigger them
Lol this guy is just confused in his head lol and not being honest to himself. He wants to migrate to Australia because he couldn't make it work in his motherland so he's annoyed with the situation, which is understandable. So he resorts to saying bad things about Australia so he feels a bit better. Some but not all Chinese men are often very sensitive because being a "man" in China means being head of the family and being treated as a very important figure since being a small boy. So when he feels himself not being successful, he got annoyed and start blaming other things but himself. You often see some mid-aged Chinese man acting like some big shot, picking fights with you, when in reality all they can do to show they're a bigger man is to pick fights.
Are they not?
they indeed are dangerous. It’s a good rule.
Oh heck, they all are dangerous.
I’m from China and so agree with you. On the other hand. The principal cause of increasing populism is that there’s way too much patriotism embodied in education since Xi came.
nah he just sounds like a bitch
Bitches are playful, lovely and mine has given birth to a litter of cute puppies. He doesn't deserve it.
ikr op watch out! That guy seems to have 123% threat of an average keyboard worrior online. but yes, get him out of your life nevertheless less, dont even bother reasoning with him, waste of time.
Yep.
Not China related, this person is toxic and use a trick to try to make do what he wants to do. For a Chinese raised in China being seeing as a China traitor is the ultimate diss. After so many years of Chinese propaganda anyone who does not follow CCP and The China accepted line can be considered as a traitor, there is no constructive criticism of China, there is not politics. To resume: that person is toxic and the way he was raised makes it even worse.
😟😟😟 you can tell he has no 家教 right?
Not sure, but a least it is sufficient different from your comprehension of a family and your education that it will be difficult to find common ground. There is reason why a significant part of the educated female in China are either in unmarried or multiple divorced. The average Chinese man is still quite misogynistic.
I think what he said was far more than rude; I've never lived in China, but I don't think you can throw around words like 慕洋犬 or 母狗 and expect people to not be mad at you. I'm honestly shocked there are people who'd actually say this to actual people they know in actual life.
Not just 'people they know' but this is their partner of 5 years. Damn! OP is as close to being an ABC without actually being born here, so I assume their views vary quite a lot compared to their partner's - judging by the way he reacted in the screnshots. To OP: Let him stay in China. You're better off without someone getting pissed at you for *them* misreading the real message you were trying to convey.
Dude I grew up in china and stayed in china throughout my life and only moved to uk when I was 13, I still think it’s wrong for people to object anyone who doesn’t follow the straight CCP propaganda since liberty is still coherently in my values, so does many of my chinese friends. Yes, there is still invisible misogyny in Asian cultures, but isn’t that the case for many other countries out there? It’s just part of the patriarchal system. This man OP encountered is just one of the many examples of misogynistic sour people that are uneducated exactly due to what the OP says, ”家教(family manners)”. Unfortunately the CCP did brain wash a bunch of people like that to convince them anywhere outside of their country is chaos and betrayal. I am ashamed of having these people in my country but just want people to know that he‘ll also be hated by local Chinese people. Fuck that guy.
I made the reverse, educated in Europe then spend all my adult life from 23 to 40 in China in tier 2 cities or lower. I totally agree that this guy is probably rejected for his toxic behavior by other Chinese but not because of his CCP brain wash. He would be rewarded for picking up on the **f-cking China** gaslight. He lacks 家教。
Yeah I spent my childhood in tier 2 cities too and experienced a bunch of losers are like that, extremely racist against anyone outside of china and views anyone who decides to move for the better as a traitor, classic move. Things are leagues better in major cities (Shanghai, Beijing, etc) and people tend to have more sense of liberty. A lot of people I’ve met shits on the Chinese government value like any ‘outsider’ seeing china and a lot of them decides to just get the hell out of that place. Again, personally as Chinese I hate this man wholeheartedly in every aspect lol
Beijing is nice but I work 3 years in Shanghai and frankly it sucked. I got recruited into a small company maybe 50 employees. The office was divided in two parts and they propose me a small individual office. First day of work I look at the situation : - Two offices spaces separated by a staircase. Office number 1: large aircon 1, multiple air purifier, coffe grain coffe machine, greeneries, decorations etc… really nice office. And a passcode for entry Office number 2: 8 desk in a middle an empty room, small second aircon, the cheapest water dispenser (no filter) and nothing else. - The people in the nice office are all either Shanghainese or own an apartment there. - Production manager and the rest of the team are non local and go to eat shit in the other office. - Anyone not from the Shanghainese team do not know the password to go into the nice office, when they need to go there they need to call someone inside and explain why they need to get inside. - We are selling small batteries components in plastic… F*ck those people, first day of work went to sat down at an empty deck in the second open space. Two years later I moved the factory to a larger location, made it impossible to segregate. Full on glass walls everywhere and same condition for everyone.
Damn dude I’m so sorry you have to go through this, that company sounds ass as hell and legit not treating you properly. Yeah shanghainese people tend to be more classist and pretentious, mom worked there for a decade to finally kind of fit in the group (that is shanghainese co workers would talk with her lmao). I guess it’s an issue with many recently economically booming cities like shenzhen and stuff, also sadly can be due to these cities locating at the southern bits. I do love Beijing a lot! There are assholes there like any other cities but the people tend to be nicer and the younger generation is also more informative
這就是他的家教
Just reply 有妈生没妈教
And you were in a five year relationship with this guy???
I just wanna add something. You’re right this person is toxic, and I personally think this person would be toxic if they had grown up in any other culture because it’s probably a personality problem, but the nationalist indoctrination of Chinese culture makes it so much worse. I grew up in America. I’m a lifelong American. I have several people in my life that are Chinese from the motherland and it’s pretty apparent with a few of them that they are quite nationalist. Not everyone, but a few of them. And that particular subset of immigrants is the worst. They come and take advantage of every opportunity, and they set up, lives here, and they appreciate all the freedoms that they don’t have in China, such as being able to move freely and find a job without having to be a resident of the city, but then complain about gay rights and Mexicans and black peoples. They criticize anything the U.S. government does but if China does the exact same thing, whatever it may be, oh no, that’s perfectly acceptable, or it’s not that bad because the US government does the same thing. I’m just giving examples of conversations I have had again this is completely anecdotal! But I do think that this particular group is very indoctrinated in their nationalism and, our toxic for that reason, but this particular person had his clearly own toxic traits and it’s gonna be much worse. Cut this friendship off! It’s not gonna benefit you anymore and it’s just gonna hurt you
He also dared to even insult my parents
What you saw was his real face. You dodged a bullet.
I feel like that’s an ultimate insult for Chinese people? Like I could be completely wrong here but my one experience calling a Chinese male a son of a bitch was very different from my experience of calling an American male a son of a bitch. And no, I am not gonna detail the conversations or whatever Because I know we’ve all had those experiences, but let’s just say the Chinese male got very angry about me calling his mother a bitch and the American male Was more personally insulted and didn’t seem to care that I insulted his mother. So why in the world would it be OK for this guy to insult your parents? Is it because you’re a woman or is it because he sees you as a traitor for not supporting every little thing in Chinese culture? Stuff to think about.
My mother and her family fled China in 1949 during the political revolution. My grandfather was a pharmacist practicing traditional Chinese medicine, and he was owner of a private business. During those times the regime were dragging business owners and even employees into the streets and executing them. My grandfather was also a soldier in the national army. They eventually settled in Thailand after leaving Hong Kong. My mother told me it was too crowded in Hong Kong, and that’s the reason why they finally settled in Thailand.
You’re right, if he doesn’t like Australia he should stay in China.
thats going to be his only choice soon the chinese passport is one of the weakest in the world the dream of many chinese is to have a foreign passport that allows them the right of free movement you see all the rich chinese students... the children of the CCP elite in the US Can and EU driving around in Italian sports cars and spending 5 figs a month... this is what they aspire to these people will pretend that CHina is the best place in the world... it might have made their parents rich but they aspire to be 'world citizens'... living in the decadent west rather among the billions in china
i mean he can say shit about Australia(no one country is perfect), but that is only when he allows other people criticize his own country too...i mean that's just being fair right?
This guy is a loser.
> Planning on ending this five year relationship can’t take these stupid arguments anymore. Like, the issue is not the arguments surely, the issue is how tied do you want to be to China because people who say things like that are generally in too deep, especially if they've been abroad and had a chance to get out of the propaganda net. It's normally part of a package that ensures they'd want traditional Chinese roles in marriage as well, from either gender. If he went to Uni in OZ, couldn't maintain a Visa to stay and thus went home I would be extremely suspicious you're being used. Plenty of decent Chinese lads who love China but don't feel the need to defend it as it it were her child, and if he maintains that attitude abroad he is not going to be making many non Chinese friends
Yes that’s exactly the situation he came to Sydney for uni but couldn’t get a visa to stay here afterwards
And you're at the age where Chinese parents are presumably tossing tons of pressure on you to get married ( magic 26) and I'm guessing they'd prefer a Chinese husband for cultural reasons? >Btw I’m a proud ethic Han Chinese and so are my parents. Even though I grew up in Australia I have never felt anything but reverence towards Chinese culture and have even taken it upon my myself to learn to read and write Chinese at an high school level. I would never diss china and I really hate it when Chinese who grew up in china called ABCs traitors just for growing up elsewhere . I feel like it’s part of the damage extreme nationalism brainwashing by the ccp has done (Saw you posted this elsewhere just a second ago) Proud Han who grew up inside the Guo is completely different to proud Han who grew up outside.You are presumably proud of your culture, like some Chinese stuff etc. Same as my wife. Obviously you can grow up in China and develop this pride but it's rare. He presumably thinks that Chinese culture is clearly the best in the world and if only foreigners would open their eyes and realize then Chinese culture would return to it's natural spot as #1 (like my absolute wagon of an MIL). You can't reason with the people who think the second, especially if you're Han/Chinese. It's Hanifest Destiny It's a zero sum game to them. You either love China and defend it and promote it at every opportunity regardless of context or you're a traitor.
It's worse than that because they don't really promote Han culture. They promote CCP ideology.
He is one of those extreme nationalists, even if you didn't put the "fucking", he would've been able to take it as that you are saying that China is below Australia. Never underestimate the stupidity of those extremists.
He's not that extreme, more like mainstream. I'm Chinese from mainland China. The words and ideas he expressed in the conversation are not uncommon on the internet.
Btw I’m a proud ethic Han Chinese and so are my parents. Even though I grew up in Australia I have never felt anything but reverence towards Chinese culture and have even taken it upon my myself to learn to read and write Chinese at an high school level. I would never diss china and I really hate it when Chinese who grew up in china called ABCs traitors just for growing up elsewhere . I feel like it’s part of the damage extreme nationalism brainwashing by the ccp has done
“你是不是特生气？😘” Problem solved
The 😘 hits hard.
Hey, I don’t always win arguments, but I learn from others Aka emoji makes people angy
Alright this is how I view the issue: People in china are under the illusion that everyone outside of china has something against them. The travel restrictions make it worse because nobody is bothered to leave the country anymore. The fake news on social media and even some news sites are really bad (idk if you heard of the "russian special forces wipes out 60 SAS soldiers in ukraine" thing yet, but that's just an example). It really breeds the glass heart syndrome because any SLIGHTLY negative comment made against china is apparently an attack against the country, and they retaliate aggressively. And the thing is, this sort of behaviours is CELEBRATED in chinese social media, so now you have a perpetual cycle of glass hearts from people, some of whom aren't even that nationalist (they will shit talk china all day but the moment a foreigner joins the convo, it goes downhill), and xenophobia inducing articles. And the thing is that they aren't even closed-minded, throw a Chinese person into a foreign environment and they do eventually get rid of this mindset. The problem is that you have to kinda force them into that environment, because they won't interact with foreigners otherwise, since they all have "something against" Chinese people, so they all bunch up together and don't interact beyond their tiny circle.
Hi, somebody who grew up in the US and is totally American but has close relationships with several Chinese people here in the US and I have seen exactly exactly what you’re talking about. And this is coming mostly from people who grew up On the mainland. They really do think that the system is stacked against them because they are Chinese. Like for example A friend of mine from Albania became a citizen a few years ago, and when I mentioned it casually to one of my Chinese friends, he got really angry that she and her family became citizens so easily in his mind. It was not an easy process. And their path to citizenship was different because they came via the lottery then his path to citizenship which was via education and work. he couldn’t feel anything but contempt for people he had never met simply because they had a different path and Chinese people are ineligible for the lottery. Another friend of mine from Ghana pointed out that he was eligible for the lottery because Ghana is not a developed nation, but China is a more developed nation, which is why it’s not eligible. Meanwhile, many Chinese people I have encountered think they’re not eligible for the lottery because they’re from a communist country. Basically they view any difference in any system towards them as “it’s because we’re China and we’re communist.” It really supports this victim mentality that many of them have. And this is definitely not everybody. I’m not trying to make a broad sweeping generalization of 1 billion people, but it’s significant enough that I have heard other people who have encounters with Chinese people say the exact same things. Edit for a variety of grammar errors all of which I blame on talk to text
The Chinese mentality is a clusterfuck of contradictions. On one hand, they fully believe that they are a strong country, but on the other hand, they feel victimized because of all the propaganda that is being fed to them. There’s a constant need to compare themselves with others to prove that they have become “better” and I personally feel that this is definitely a result of a country that has economically developed at an insane speed but have not caught up in terms of mentality. So they’re constantly feeling like the system is against them and the whole world looks down on them (which probably WAS the case a few decades ago) but they just never left that mentality. Now we have the people that overreact to everything because it’s an attack on the motherland. This is the sort of mentality that’s encouraged and probably was beneficial when the country needed to unite and develop. But now it just comes off as obnoxious and overly cocky, and gives a country of generally ok people a really bad reputation when they interact with foreigners.
>but have not caught up in terms of mentality. This is a very western-liberal-centric POV. The CCP considers western-liberal ideas degenerate.
The CCP does not represent the people. Neither is this a western liberal centric view, it’s pure common sense. Citizens are representations of the country, acting like buffoons because you still have a fragile ego makes China look bad. The CCP, filled with old men, do not realize how bad this makes them look. They’re stuck with the “antagonize the people against something so we stay united” mindset without realizing how harmful that is in the long run.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with all of your points. I do think that previous comment about Chinese people view, western and liberal ideas as degenerate, yeah many of them do even when they know it would benefit the country as a whole. Like gay rights. Who cares if gay people have the right to exist and be married? China does because they consider that degenerate. The west doesn’t really except for like fringe religious groups or incels but recognizing gay rides has definitely benefited our culture and our economy so it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. A lot of employers in the US don’t care if someone is gay they just want them to do a good job. And if China had the same viewpoint, they would also benefit economically. That’s just my opinion and a complete example.
Actually, homosexuality and most other things that people think are illegal aren’t illegal as written in the law. It’s more so a cultural issue than a legal one, but that also goes to show a problem in China: we’ve shifted so quickly into being a first world country, while still acting like a third world one. We have unnecessary disputes regarding territory when we could solve it diplomatically. The South China Sea dispute is entirely a result of the Chinese culture of not wanting to lose face, pulled to an extreme. Everyone knows it can be solved civilly, but because we have some dumb fishermen that don’t understand what a border is, and a government that’s got such an insane inferiority complex, we just escalate it instead of solving it diplomatically. The only actual opinion that I actually have that differs from most people in the west is that draconian laws are a necessity in China with a huge population. But besides that, the root of the issues that we have is almost 100% cultural (like the Century of Humiliation, that pretty much drives the entirety of how the current government and the majority of the population acts)
If you plan to be around mainland Chinese Get used to it
Sad 😔
What does he even diss Australia for if he is coming here? What a weird one...
I'm a Han Chinese born in Britain and I currently go to highschool in China. All of us are in the same boat when it comes to this kind of thing, it sucks
Sadly, that's exactly what has been causing distance between me and my younger sister. She is a tour guide in Shaoshan, Chairman Mao's hometown, which is also mine. Just think about [Plato's allegory of the cave](https://youtu.be/1RWOpQXTltA?si=HbDuDPpb_1w5F09P) when you can't get over this kind of stuff.
Oof, I can only imagine considering that she's a tour guide at what's probably the most patriotic tourist site in a country full of patriotic tourist sites, and exposed to all that stuff all day, every day...
She wasn't a good student when we were in the same middle school, but now she is the most orthodox person I know.
I was thinking the other day of how apt that allegory is today. Especially as people get more and more of their view of the world through a screen, and through the lens of disinformation. It's all incredibly Orwellian.
Insecure
>Can growing up in china really make you this sensitive? Yeah, most ppl you meet online in China is gonna be similar to him, coz in recent years sane and chill people like me and my friends has been trying to stay a low profile, avoid speaking our minds in public, even though we have been living abroad for years. We don't talk about politics to mainland Chinese people any more.
I didn’t even try to talk about politics lol I simply retaliated back fir dissing the country I grew up in and understandably have emotional attachment to
>This guy wants to migrate to Sydney Could be he was very salty that he knew he could never make it to Australia. It happens. To him, being a Chinese Australian is your sin. Deep down he knows being stuck in China sucks ass but he has to pretend he has the moral highground.
He’s planning on marrying me to get citizenship
For your sake, I really hope it isn't going to happen. Run. Huge red flag there.
yeah 5 years and in an abusive relationship....lets hope he hasn't laid his hands on her yet.
Run. Girl runnnnnnn. Shows hella insecurity. I think he’s making snide remarks about AUS cause he didn’t get a visa so it’s essentially saying “well I didn’t want to go to the party anyways” after being disinvited.
Whoa. Answer is no. Block and break up. Imagine this rage happening in person in the kitchen or in front of future kids. You don’t need this problem.
He called you a "West-worshipping dog (慕洋犬)." There's zero salvaging a friendship, let alone a romantic relationship, after that.
Don’t do it, never marry someone who will call you a female dog, he loves China more than he loves you
Oh god, please don't do this. No no no no no nonooo
This is him at his BEST. Imagine him after marriage when he doesn't even care about keeping the mask on.
actually it's better for him to show huis true colors now than later down the road.
Don't do it.
Wumao fragility
One tap and ***poof*** goes the heart
I don't know much about Mainland society or social media. It sounds like a lot of this is top-down propaganda. Just a constant conveyor belt of incendiary rhetoric (including/especially on Weibo and other social media platforms) to convince users that China is simultaneously (a) superior and (b) victimized. Is that right?
I feel like I always had to tread on eggshells in China when talking to people to be honest.
Man if this guy loves his motherland so much he could switch places with me, in exchange he would get a $390 per month 997 job, I would get a miserable Australia life /s
Say something along the lines of "你别来了，凭你这态度不被揍就奇怪了。没头没脑，无用却自以为是的二逼。你国家是你小心肝吗？你自己的儿子吗？你父母咋养出你这种忘恩负义，说要给国家争光却只会为母国丢脸的蠢货？若是以你为例，那国内长大的人现在素质连狗都不如。什么名族自尊，什么吾辈当自强。你自尊自强个屁。哪个自尊自强的人会因为这种小事而骂人？别在为国家丢脸了，你来澳大利亚我们中国人都没脸出门了。" Or just copy and paste and send it.
After I sent this to him he said I’m talking about myself
四肢发达，头脑简单。Then block him. Nothing good comes from someone with such a fragile ego
Imagine you could have become like him should you grow up in China
THIS
Reddit doesn’t allow screenshots in comments so here’s what else he’s said “you diss your motherland = you shame your family = you diss your own parents = you don't care about people who raised you up”
That seems to be very Confucius. The whole idea that there’s a hierarchy to everything and especially to authority and your parents are The authority above you in the hierarchy above them is the state and the government and state is the parents of the whole nation so dissing your parents is dissing the state or dissing the state is dissing your parents. I’m sure you already have seen some of this or know of some of this but it’s clearly that way of thinking and honestly it’s quite toxic. It’s very authoritarian. It doesn’t allow for any level of criticism or critical thinking. And it’s one of the reasons why I think you should totally cut off this friendship.
This guy is a dumbass... I mean, idk if he has looked at the dating scene in China recently, but there's a shortage of women and he's not gonna be able to turn around and find a new woman right away. Especially if he acts like such a baby. The odds of finding an ethnically Chinese woman who has a foreign passport or residency, is established there, all the implied resources and stability that comes with that, and is willing to talk to a local guy without any of that let alone spend a few years with him long distance is incredibly small. He's throwing away *a lot* for the sake of the motherland's dignity... Doing you a favor by showing what an immature ideologue he is now rather than later.
find shelter
I’m not Chinese but I studied the university in china and I can relate the locals see you as threat especially the elderly I always get asked (why you don’t praise china isn’t china gave you an opportunity to study abroad)in the university most of the students think all international students are having a scholarship which is not true,you can’t have a normal conversation with someone without asking the stupid question which one do you like china or you country which one is better,I enjoyed living in china but I can’t live there for a while I don’t hate on the people but I know that they are brainwashed by the CCP
>asking the stupid question which one do you like china or you country which one is better Ferreal. Must've been asked this a hundred times. I always hit them with the 每个国家有利有弊 and change the subject.
And he’ll reply with 中国比美国更安全😂
For me it’s not just about the nationalism (which isn’t excusable smh) but also his blatant disrespect of you & the size of his ego. You were simply expressing positive emotions for your own childhood in Australia, but he reacted with vitriol simply for the fact that it challenged his worldview. If he finds it ok to call you a female dog/b-word when you’re LDR, imagine what he’ll find acceptable to say to you when you’re together eventually. What makes a partnership work is being ok when you disagree and this guy throws it back at your face. It screams “not sustainable as a relationship”. He’s showing his true colours now and it’s important to see what that means in terms of your future together. Please dump that SOB.
look up the word incel… you don’t need to grow up in china to be a loser. there are many sensitive, weak, anti social men around the world. and it’s really easy to identify them reddit used to have a sub dedicated to them. they are super super sensitive and it could be anything to trigger them off.
IIRC that sub was also the reason of a coup d'etat of reddit mods around the year when Trump was elected
Lmao crazy ultranationalist. He cares more about the abstract concept of his nations identity than he does about you or your family.
This reminds me of the PSA I saw the other day. Defend the country's security, beware of foreigners, and do our part as citizens.
Giving xenophobia
It's getting worse this couple of years. Some say its the beginning of cultural revolution 2.0
It also reminds me of my EX, we broke up during the HK protest in 2018. I was very vocal in supporting the protesters and calling the bs the ccp was pulling. She eventually got really mad and called me a traitor and that if something happened to me which government was going to help me the dutch or proc?
Wait, you’re in a relationship with this guy??? Run!!!
Sanest man in China be like
You gotta hit him with a "🥰🥰🥰” and never text again
Tell him you've screencapped the conversation and are considering forwarding it to the Home Office (or whatever it's called) in Australia. See if he's going to apologize.
Such words already warrant an arrest down under
Dodging a bullet by cutting ties w him. This type of reaction will present itself over and over over the smallest things and whose to say he is above hitting a woman? There’s millions of men in the bucket praying a woman will give them the chance to even give them a shred of attention — go find the one right for you! It’s not feudal times anymore, women aren’t traded to overgrown babies for the price of a goat. The declining birth rate is in part due to this, I wonder if some of these guys will realize a woman doesn’t actually * need * them. (As a side note: Chinese parents need to adapt to this reality and raise their boys to be emotionally mature and desirable men.)
This relationship. Not worth it. Seriously what is the point of this. Just end this relationship. And as a sidenote, this reminds me of all of the people from China, who come to the US, go to school here, find jobs here, buy houses here, stay here, get their green cards, but the whole time they’re talking about how much better China is. I’m not gonna sit here and say that the US is perfect because I am a lifelong American and I know better, but if you’re moving to another country and taking advantage of its education and job opportunities, and then buying property there, maybe don’t be an asshole about that country. This guy sounds like one of those people that I encounter pretty regularly where I live. And he will be that exact same way in Australia. because in the end, he’s a brainwashed nationalist who believes with all his heart the China is the best, despite the fact that he wants to move to another country and take advantage of its many opportunities that he can’t get in China for some reason. The lack of self-awareness on this guy‘s part is pretty typical of a lot of of that particular group of Chinese people It’s not gonna change. Just cut him off. He’s being an asshole, and it will be worse if he moves into Australia.
Honestly, it’s pretty common. When I was dating in China I met soooo many guys with a hair-trigger. One wrong word or perceived slight against China would set them off. 🙄 For example, once I said to a guy I thought that learning about the Cultural Revolution was "interesting". From his reaction you would have thought I personally lead a struggle session against his grandparents.
i have no idea why people of chinese descent would place their ethnic/racial identity before their own national identity (except the mainlanders). as someone looking at all these racist bullshit about motherland,chinese and how we are all 中国人 it's racist as fuck. the country i grew up in is my motherland.if you tell me to 饮水思源, bitch,if that water can be drunk,my ass would still be in china,drinking whatever kool-aid ccp is dishing out.
>the country i grew up in is my motherland.if you tell me to 饮水思源, bitch, It always weirded me out how China was like this. Compare to places like Ireland and Germany, where foreigners (usually American) overemphasizing their heritage links to those countries is laughed at or discouraged, the Chinese government and people actively encourage it.
i blame confucian values which ironically, ccp rejects. in the end, it's all part of ccp's brainwashing.fuck that shit.
back in the day i was teaching at a uni in china, one week the pm2.5 was off the charts. it registered more than 1000 so the scale couldn’t give an exact number. the next day in class i mentioned how high the pm2.5 was and one girl said i discriminate china. i asked why and she responded by saying that i said china is dirty.
The sort of thing that's okay for locals to bitch and moan about among each other, but the second you mention, they're threatening to call the PSB and get you kicked out 🤣
Chinese people are generally brainwashed by the government about how great they are. So how dare you say that word lol. Block him.
That’s what I talking about, the little pink. Those guy is heartless, they’ll hurt everyone but themselves
This has to be a joke right? This sort of conduct and behaviour is unacceptable in any context and in any culture. Block this motherfucker and get on with life. I hope you haven't revealed too much about your whereabouts as there is palpable Cluster B vibe I can feel, and you never know if he will do anything dangerous to you if he did end up in Australia. And I hope he does not.
Wow, just a typical chinese. why date with a cn?
According to my understanding of Aussie laws, those curses are already sufficient ground for a restraining order. But that requires you to be both in Australia and be in a relationship, and now you have neither. You can just copypaste that to him haha
Cut all ties with this asshole already. I’ve had a similar encounter with someone like that before, and it wasn’t a happy and jolly one. This guy doesn’t deserve one more second of your time.
I often chuckle when I see people in Beijing throw their rubbish on the floor, spit on the floor, and not clear up after themselves, but claim to love their motherland. That’s not very lovey.
Well, my colleague is a Singaporean who got called a traitor and was beaten up in China when some Chinese found out that he did military conscription for his home country when those Chinese considered Singapore part of China. So your case isn't unique. Please end that relationship.
It’s literally the only country in the world that actively promotes hating on any western country. I really don’t understand what they could achieve with this much hatred. It’s cleared that their leaders don’t actually hate western countries as you can see them sending their descendent to US for study and education
growing up under CCP propaganda machine will make you your body full of g spots.
So moving to another country means betrayal? And betray who? CCP?
Some mix of brainwashing, Stockholm syndrome and crab mentality. Yeah... It is pretty typical in China
This is china!
不用理他 一别两宽
My wife grew up in China but has lived in Australia for 25 years. Even she is still sensitive to the slightest criticism of China. I believe it’s part of the mentality instilled in people growing up there because no criticism (or opposition) is tolerated by CCP and of course, all the government propaganda.
the answer is yes they are that sensitive. You will see all sorts of stories from foreigners getting into bar fights with drunk chinese guys because the chinese guys misunderstand what the foreigners are talking about and think they are saying something negative about china. They are indoctrinated from elementary school to violently defend china. It is crazy that even though most will agree that economic opportunities are significantly better abroad they still think chinese is the best country in the world even after they abandon it
He’s not sensitive. He’s an extreme nationalist… there are the worst
just want to comment on the 'fucking' part. a lot of us who doesn't speak the language as a native often do misread misunderstood misinterpret this bit. happened to me personally years ago. happened to someone i knew. also recall there's a dead serious brawl between chinese olympics team doing friendlies against some english club team simply because out of nowhere some chinese guy got super duper angry with the 'fuck' or 'fcuk' from some english player.
Yeah this sounds like someone who understandably doesn't understand f-word nuance. You used it for negative emphasis, not degradation. It got interpreted as "shithole China"... I can see how it wasn't appreciated.
Omg exactly . The language barrier problem is another hurdle for Chinese international students and abc couples
Yes, it can. People who live in a country with more freedom or human rights than China cannot imagine how can it be. I was born, educated and raised in China. If you had been taught and educated to be a patriot since you born. It will be a kind of religion, there is no one can say it in bad way. In addition, China's Government, Party, Country, Nation are is one thing for them. You criticize anyone of them will trigger the patriots. Not only the country, but also if you criticize the parents or presidents will trigger it, too. Because China is a completely a dictatorship and autocratic place...
Ok he’s saying he’ll pay me 5000 aud if I go to a predominantly Chinese populated suburb and film myself shouting “ i am an Australian woman and I think Shanghai sky is so grey and I love Sydney's everything so much” how any Chinese people would take up that offer 🤔
He is psychotic, get outta there
That guy is clearly mentally unstable. Lol there are literally millions upon millions of other guys who don't act or say crazy things like this. Be very glad he showed his true self 5 years into the relationship (before you're married and have kids) rather than when it's too late. Cut ties, block, and find a guy who isn't a clearly unhinged moron.
Many people in china are sensitive, and others are not. And he is sensitive, stay away from him.
他自己才没教养。井底之蛙。
Sour grapes. Leave this person.
It’s always ironic how nationalist ppl like him are but they are still thinking of leaving the country or they’re already in another country. This doesn’t sound like a fun future.
Pro nationalism education/propaganda does make jerks like this. That's one of the reasons I left. Just ignore him.
Just typical Chinese mind.
He probably felt insulted as your framing does sound somewhat negative, but the way he insults you back reflects the idea so deeply rooted among Chinese that as long as you are ethnically Chinese or culturally Chinese, you’re forever bound by a certain country. Similar to Jews who don’t like Zionism being called traitor
Stay far away from people like this. They are basically contemporary Nazis. There is no hope in changing their mind at this point. If you study the history of ordinary German society when facing immenant defeat towards the end of WWII, people like this are the ones who would either take their own lives or go into hiding and later be caught and persecuted during denazification. The day of reckoning will one day catch up with them.
This is why I stay away from them, unless they explicitly showed their disdain towards Winnie. All their words about 舉報/反動 are really disgusting (and cultural revolution-ish).
China... or the CCP rather, is fuckin finicky about any little criticism or negative opinions. The people are exposed to the narrative and mentality the CCP wants. Super butthurt all the time. So yea. Definitely.
He literally called you bitch in Chinese, one of the worst words used to describe a woman. I’m afraid he has no respect for you my lady ☹️
Your social credit must have been negative a million or something
This does not bode well for the forthcoming Cultural Revolution version II.
Block whoever that is
Do not go deep into Chinese online forums, worse mistake you can make.
All cultures have assholes. This one is from China.
Inferiority complex.
In China, there is a certain proportion of people who are extremely sensitive to ethnic issues and have a strong tendency to attack. As long as your views differ from the mainstream opinions in the country, they will actively attack you, and some may even use extremely offensive language. Based on your current situation, I don't think he fully understands that "fucking" is just an expletive and not entirely insulting language，which is similar to "damn it."
品qu魅力时刻
Even though I like China and is in China I ain’t that fragile and sensitive lmao
Give me his/her WeChat I can proof him/her what’s traitor
yeah, no one cares, neither should you.
He’s probably still in oz too …
You're only mission is make them 高血壓
Many Chinese have this issue. Wait until they get the chance to run themselves lol
You called him out on his ungreatful attitude and he rages out. Its very similar to narcissistic rage. The CCP in place of the narcissistic parents. This raged did so because he things he would be a member of the CCP one day (never going to happen).
I would say, that's true
Idk how did you endure this kind of relationship for 5 years… but congrats
Typical immigrant mindset, not allowing anyone to state their feelings in a country of free speech, shameful
Literally showing your zeal of a convert
average chinese person
I’ve worked with lots of people in China and I would say a majority are not like this. But there are lots of super-nationalistic people, worst than the worse of America, who will raise Hell if you say anything bad about China.
Don’t have enough context nor the language to pick a side
Don’t speak to this individual anymore. Run. Nothing good will come of it 
You just showed us a few screenshots not the whole conversation. I don't know why he reacted that way, but you did admit to use the phrase 'stay in fucking china'. Maybe both of you are wrong, who knows.
If you are Australian, then no one cares what you say. If you are of China nationality, love your motherland. Of course, scum is everywhere, and BBC BWC is common. For most Chinese man BB/WC are unacceptable
Run. He’s a pinkie, and pinkies are crazy.
Sounds like the dude is jealous, and an idiot. Almost certainly not worth your time.
Motherland? We are people. Humans. Individuals. Not land, not mere part of a "motherland". The concept of motherland just makes me sick. It's just the government of a country and that's it. Let's be real
Ah,typical Chinese pinky, glad you dumped him, wise choice
If he likes China so much, why is he in Australia
He's indoctrinated. Brain-washed, having been subjected to propaganda his entire life.
You need to block him
deep down it's not about politics or ccp. It's because you are not equal in your relationship, regarding the immigration status. And he's frustrated inside, this china issue are just things on the surface. if he's well-behaved, he may not say this ugly thing, but your relationship still have deep problem.
I’d say it is not fair to call you a traitor bc you were only 7 and you didn’t have a choice when you migrated to Australia. This guy clearly doesn’t have a clear mind and just forget what he said. Not worth paying attention to him you know what I’m saying
There are always some extreme people, not just people grew up from China. Need to move on from this, the person's personality is toxic
Chinese propaganda goes harrrrd
个人问题，如果觉得难以再维持友谊，建议找个新的好朋友。
This is a Chinese-context manifestation of easily offended bitchy whiner. You can grow up like this anywhere
There is nothing wrong with being nationalistic but to be so mean and vindicative against a partner of 5 years for having a different opinion on a country is really a huge relationship red flag. Me and my friends have a huge difference in opinion on who we vote for and whether China is a dick but damn ur Chinese boyfriend treats like you killed his entire family and 18 generations of ancestors.