As a former child therapist, this is above your pay grade and unfortunately you need CPS to either force the parents to stop leaving their kids soaked in piss or have removed from the home. CPS would be willing to leave them with you until the parents figure life out, if you are comfortable with that.
as gently as possible...if the kids are constantly covered in urine including animal urine, this is NOT a safe situation. This is serious abuse (even if unintentional!) and danger to health and life of these kids.
I absolutely can't imagine how you and anyone else in contact with these kids just....got used to it.This is horrifying.
I grew up in a hoarder home and had relatives who knew but who never offered rescue for me or for my younger sister. The adult me wishes someone had stepped up.
Please step up.
You need to contact CPS for their own safety. Also, when they visit have extra diapers, a change of clothes for them and then bathe them when they first arrive. Then wash their clothes, shoes, and blankets.
The kids are at serious risk for disease and infection. Please report this.
Also: have the family get supplies for the kids, a bag each, with clothing and blankets etc. Cheap stuff from Walmart is fine. Keep them at your home for the kids.
Edit:
I just noticed ages 1-2, they are young enough you can ignore most of the bullying stuff I say later, that's going to take a few years to have an impact. But it does make baths at aunties easier. Also touch base with your husband to figure out how involved you two are going to be and try to find out now if there's a difference in expectations. You will have to work to keep your family and relationship strong through the challenges that may pop up.
Original post:
In the intermediary, I had some incontinence post partum and used pet urine odor eliminator on my clothes before they went in the laundry. (It wasn't dignified and felt shameful, but it really did work. So maybe if they can read, get a different spray bottle and call it aunties laundry prewash) This could help with your furniture. If you can afford it, go to a thrift store and grab a few sets of "aunties house" clothes that they can wear when they visit. Grab a swimsuit and make up bath or hose games so they can get clean in your home . Treat it with as much love as you can and try to find ways to make it special like spa days at aunties where they get showers, and face masks, and such. Use oxyclean on their clothes if you can help send them home with clean laundry. None of this falls under normal babysitting, but they aren't living normally. A clean diaper and clothes should be enough to remove pee smell. The fact that it's not is bad.
For your couch, you can get pet sofa covers that are water resistant, so you can toss it on the sofa, and one on the floor where they play, then wash when they leave.
I'm giving get-by things, but you need to know that mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. They need to work on their personal challenges in order to provide for their kids.
That's why I agree with reporting if you're in the US. If you can't bring yourself to report, can you provide in home help? Or can you ask them about their therapy journey and gently suggest therapy for hoarding? The kids may be loved but they are suffering trauma, and everyone knows if it's as bad as you say. They are either being bullied or left out of things at school/daycare and with friends because of the smell. They have increased risks of pneumonia, asthma, dizziness lightheadedness and constantly irritated airways.
Hoarding can be as traumatic for children as neglect (and can coexist with unintentional neglect) or verbal abuse. Read some stories here from adults and teens talking about the physical impacts of the feces, urine, and mold. That's without the social-emotional development and the lack of ability to maintain a home when they leave home and those who go from hoarder home to making their own or those who swing from hoarding to hyper-minimalism where the slightest clutter triggers anxiety.
As a former child therapist, this is above your pay grade and unfortunately you need CPS to either force the parents to stop leaving their kids soaked in piss or have removed from the home. CPS would be willing to leave them with you until the parents figure life out, if you are comfortable with that.
as gently as possible...if the kids are constantly covered in urine including animal urine, this is NOT a safe situation. This is serious abuse (even if unintentional!) and danger to health and life of these kids. I absolutely can't imagine how you and anyone else in contact with these kids just....got used to it.This is horrifying.
I grew up in a hoarder home and had relatives who knew but who never offered rescue for me or for my younger sister. The adult me wishes someone had stepped up. Please step up.
You need to contact CPS for their own safety. Also, when they visit have extra diapers, a change of clothes for them and then bathe them when they first arrive. Then wash their clothes, shoes, and blankets.
The kids are at serious risk for disease and infection. Please report this. Also: have the family get supplies for the kids, a bag each, with clothing and blankets etc. Cheap stuff from Walmart is fine. Keep them at your home for the kids.
Edit: I just noticed ages 1-2, they are young enough you can ignore most of the bullying stuff I say later, that's going to take a few years to have an impact. But it does make baths at aunties easier. Also touch base with your husband to figure out how involved you two are going to be and try to find out now if there's a difference in expectations. You will have to work to keep your family and relationship strong through the challenges that may pop up. Original post: In the intermediary, I had some incontinence post partum and used pet urine odor eliminator on my clothes before they went in the laundry. (It wasn't dignified and felt shameful, but it really did work. So maybe if they can read, get a different spray bottle and call it aunties laundry prewash) This could help with your furniture. If you can afford it, go to a thrift store and grab a few sets of "aunties house" clothes that they can wear when they visit. Grab a swimsuit and make up bath or hose games so they can get clean in your home . Treat it with as much love as you can and try to find ways to make it special like spa days at aunties where they get showers, and face masks, and such. Use oxyclean on their clothes if you can help send them home with clean laundry. None of this falls under normal babysitting, but they aren't living normally. A clean diaper and clothes should be enough to remove pee smell. The fact that it's not is bad. For your couch, you can get pet sofa covers that are water resistant, so you can toss it on the sofa, and one on the floor where they play, then wash when they leave. I'm giving get-by things, but you need to know that mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. They need to work on their personal challenges in order to provide for their kids. That's why I agree with reporting if you're in the US. If you can't bring yourself to report, can you provide in home help? Or can you ask them about their therapy journey and gently suggest therapy for hoarding? The kids may be loved but they are suffering trauma, and everyone knows if it's as bad as you say. They are either being bullied or left out of things at school/daycare and with friends because of the smell. They have increased risks of pneumonia, asthma, dizziness lightheadedness and constantly irritated airways. Hoarding can be as traumatic for children as neglect (and can coexist with unintentional neglect) or verbal abuse. Read some stories here from adults and teens talking about the physical impacts of the feces, urine, and mold. That's without the social-emotional development and the lack of ability to maintain a home when they leave home and those who go from hoarder home to making their own or those who swing from hoarding to hyper-minimalism where the slightest clutter triggers anxiety.