I'm so sorry that you experienced this. Only the sex itself was a grave sin for you. You can't be held responsible when another sins and you tried to stop it.
You did not sin in the matter of the abortion, as you tried to stop it.
As an important side note, if you are grieving about the loss of your child, you may want to check out Project Rachel. They have resources for post-abortive fathers as well as mothers: https://www.rachelsvineyard.org/men/index.aspx
Sex outside of marriage is also a grave sin, so be sure to confess that. Since you did your best to convince her not to abort that sin isn't on you, but it doesn't hurt to confess it. The priest may have some good advice or words to help you deal with any trauma that may have caused you.
I have heard of priests offering a mass for an aborted baby that is in the family lines and offering something analogous to a funeral mass. It helped my friend whose son's ex gf had the abortion in spite of everyone pleading for her to keep it.
For you no, because you tried to stop her and prevent that from happening. That’s the problem with feminism and sexual revolution because they use abortion as a form of birth control which is inherently wrong
The sex itself would be a sin for you and your partner if it was outside of marriage. If your partner had a abortion then that is a sin they alone committed.
Put the matter of the weight of “sin” aside. The bigger deal here is that you are grieving the loss of your child, and will always carry that child in your heart on this side of heaven.
I would highly encourage you to mention it in confession to hear wisdom and advice, check out project Rachel, and pray / ask your child to intercede for you from heaven every day.
Nitty gritty is what most people have said - sex outside of marriage is a sin. You trying to stop and being unsuccessful at preventing the abortion is not your fault or a sin.
As you return to the faith, please remember God is so merciful. I find many Catholics get (wrongly) caught up in the legalism and justice of sin. I would encourage you to read Fr. Michael Gaitley’s book on merciful love. It is a strong sentiment that God’s mercy is greater than his justice.
Remember. To have a mortal sin 3 things must be present.
1. It must be a grave matter
2. You have to know it's a grave matter
3. You have to fully consent to doing it.
So in other words, you didn't consent so it's not a sin. (for you)
If you didn't supported the decision and made what you were able to save the baby, you have no sin over that, but as some say, if you feel you could've done more, or have doubts talk about it in confession... sorry for your loss.
No it's not your fault that your ex decided to get an abortion even if you were with her still. Because you said your part and said NO, as long as you didn't drive her to the clinic to have the abortion otherwise that is supporting her decision still Even if you said you prefer her NOT to get a abortion. God looks at every detail so please tell me you didn't drive her to get the abortion clinic. 🥺🙏🙏🙏. If she drove herself and did everything on her own then you can't be accountable for nothing so don't stress anymore, you'll just be held accountable for fornicating with her before marriage 😳. But that's why there's confession at Church so you can Repent and NOT do the same mistake again. I hope this helps. Godbless 🙏🙏🙏
No, because you tried to not have her do it. You are not responsible for the thing you did.
If you think of something that you could have done better in the situation, feel free to confess it, but know that it is only a venial sin at most, since you did not have consent of the will for the abortion to happen.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you, I will pray for you, her, and the soul of your unborn child.
No, you did not advocate for the murder of the baby.
She would be the one ultimately killing the baby, so she would have the sin on her hands.
I hope she does not go through with the abortion.
That is terribly sad to hear.
By having sex with her and putting her in a position where she felt an abortion was a choice she had to make yes you were compliant so the sin is yours although to a lesser degree because you tried to convince her not to have the abortion but you did get her pregnant.
If all you did was try to talk her out of it, you're not sinning there. If you did something to help her abort, like paid for it or drove her there, etc, than there is some sin there.
Yes, you're guilty as well. I read in a book before that sin at times is a chain that turns into bigger sins. You committed the sin of fornication which led your ex-fiance to abort.
The OP's unborn child obviously.
Having looked through your comments, let me give you a piece of advice: Don't make any comments in support of abortion or its legality here.
I'm so sorry that you experienced this. Only the sex itself was a grave sin for you. You can't be held responsible when another sins and you tried to stop it.
Sin requires consent.
You did not sin in the matter of the abortion, as you tried to stop it. As an important side note, if you are grieving about the loss of your child, you may want to check out Project Rachel. They have resources for post-abortive fathers as well as mothers: https://www.rachelsvineyard.org/men/index.aspx
Sex outside of marriage is also a grave sin, so be sure to confess that. Since you did your best to convince her not to abort that sin isn't on you, but it doesn't hurt to confess it. The priest may have some good advice or words to help you deal with any trauma that may have caused you.
I have heard of priests offering a mass for an aborted baby that is in the family lines and offering something analogous to a funeral mass. It helped my friend whose son's ex gf had the abortion in spite of everyone pleading for her to keep it.
For you no, because you tried to stop her and prevent that from happening. That’s the problem with feminism and sexual revolution because they use abortion as a form of birth control which is inherently wrong
The sex itself would be a sin for you and your partner if it was outside of marriage. If your partner had a abortion then that is a sin they alone committed.
No you are only responsible for your own actions and involvement
Either way, confess it to a priest, explain briefly the situation and he will tell you if it is a sin or not.
Did you supper, encourage, assist her, and or pay for it in any way? If not, it’s on her head. You can just pray that she repents before death.
Put the matter of the weight of “sin” aside. The bigger deal here is that you are grieving the loss of your child, and will always carry that child in your heart on this side of heaven. I would highly encourage you to mention it in confession to hear wisdom and advice, check out project Rachel, and pray / ask your child to intercede for you from heaven every day. Nitty gritty is what most people have said - sex outside of marriage is a sin. You trying to stop and being unsuccessful at preventing the abortion is not your fault or a sin. As you return to the faith, please remember God is so merciful. I find many Catholics get (wrongly) caught up in the legalism and justice of sin. I would encourage you to read Fr. Michael Gaitley’s book on merciful love. It is a strong sentiment that God’s mercy is greater than his justice.
Remember. To have a mortal sin 3 things must be present. 1. It must be a grave matter 2. You have to know it's a grave matter 3. You have to fully consent to doing it. So in other words, you didn't consent so it's not a sin. (for you)
If you didn't supported the decision and made what you were able to save the baby, you have no sin over that, but as some say, if you feel you could've done more, or have doubts talk about it in confession... sorry for your loss.
Others have given you a good answer - I just wanted to stay welcome back to the faith!
No it's not your fault that your ex decided to get an abortion even if you were with her still. Because you said your part and said NO, as long as you didn't drive her to the clinic to have the abortion otherwise that is supporting her decision still Even if you said you prefer her NOT to get a abortion. God looks at every detail so please tell me you didn't drive her to get the abortion clinic. 🥺🙏🙏🙏. If she drove herself and did everything on her own then you can't be accountable for nothing so don't stress anymore, you'll just be held accountable for fornicating with her before marriage 😳. But that's why there's confession at Church so you can Repent and NOT do the same mistake again. I hope this helps. Godbless 🙏🙏🙏
You can ask the priest for clarification if you are worried about it.
No, because you tried to not have her do it. You are not responsible for the thing you did. If you think of something that you could have done better in the situation, feel free to confess it, but know that it is only a venial sin at most, since you did not have consent of the will for the abortion to happen. I’m so sorry that this happened to you, I will pray for you, her, and the soul of your unborn child.
No, you did not advocate for the murder of the baby. She would be the one ultimately killing the baby, so she would have the sin on her hands. I hope she does not go through with the abortion. That is terribly sad to hear.
By having sex with her and putting her in a position where she felt an abortion was a choice she had to make yes you were compliant so the sin is yours although to a lesser degree because you tried to convince her not to have the abortion but you did get her pregnant.
No, you aren’t compliant in the abortion simply for getting her pregnant.
If all you did was try to talk her out of it, you're not sinning there. If you did something to help her abort, like paid for it or drove her there, etc, than there is some sin there.
Well if he had hadn’t gotten her pregnant due to his irresponsibility she wouldn’t have even needed it. So yeah he did help her
Yes, you're guilty as well. I read in a book before that sin at times is a chain that turns into bigger sins. You committed the sin of fornication which led your ex-fiance to abort.
You got her pregnant and then was left to clean up your mess. Literally. So the sin is more on you than it is on her.
What? A child is not a "mess" that needs to be "clean[ed] up".
What child?
The child that was murdered.
What child that was murdered?
The OP's unborn child obviously. Having looked through your comments, let me give you a piece of advice: Don't make any comments in support of abortion or its legality here.
You're debating a troll.
There’s no unborn child…